Slightly Overdone Chocolate Chip Pancakes
by Brunetta6
Summary: Seventeen-year-old fangirl Vera Rosethorne is in full swing at her first anime con, when she suddenly and inexplicably falls into the world of her favorite anime romance dawn, One Piece! Which would be really cool, except for two things. She thinks it's all a crack dream... AND SHE CAN'T SPEAK JAPANESE!
1. Down the Rabbit Hole

**I dub thee my first (and probably only) One Piece insertion! May you prosper and receive many reviews! I DON'T OWN ONE PIECE. And readers, don't worry, the title will make sense later.****Happy reading! =D**

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**Chapter 1:**

**Down the Rabbit Hole**

"Come _on_, Vange! Pick up the _pace_!"

Vera Rosethorne darted ahead, leaving her big sister in the dust.

Evangeline Rosethorne – also known as Vange to her friends and family – rolled her eyes, pulling her shorts down a bit and hitching up a backpack filled with Snickers, a book titled Anime for Dummies, and her cell phone. Glancing back to make sure she was following, Vera grinned as the 21-year-old college student did a double take at an Inuyasha cosplayer. She was very proud of herself in an annoying, little sister sort of way for dragging her stick-in-the-mud adult sister all the way across the country for her first anime con. Or more specifically, Eiichiro Oda's panel on her most favorite anime of all time…

_ONE PIECE!_

Vera had to hold in a fangasm just thinking about it! "Come on, come on!"

"Holy _crap_!" Evangeline exclaimed, exasperated. "I'm coming, already!"

She finally caught up to her spastic little sister next to a magazine cart. But that girl had already spotted something else across the way.

"Oooh, pocky!" Vera exclaimed, peering over the crowd on her tiptoes. She looked at her sister. "You want some?"

The woman glared sideways at her.

Vera pouted. "Fine, I'll get some for myself. Wait here!" She scampered off.

Evangeline sighed in relief. Finally, a chance to take a freakin' break! That girl's enthusiasm was exhausting. The older woman leaned against the cart, picking up a magazine.

"Vange!"

She sighed again; there must have not been much of a line.

Vange glanced back up, whacking a short brown curl out of her eyes. Stupid hair; she didn't understand how Vera could stand to have so much of it. They got their wild, chocolate curls from their mother's side of the family. She could only manage it in the short bob she'd had since she was eight. Vera always told her unashamedly she looked like a sexy librarian, and the only reason why she hadn't been laid yet was because she was too stiff.

Why, the woman felt indignant just remembering it! She blamed her bawdy sense of humor on their father, the frisky geezer.

Personally, Evangeline viewed herself as decent enough but never would put herself head-and-shoulders above the norm. She liked it that way. It made her life easier. Vera, on the other hand, always stood out in a crowd. She'd just graduated high school. Her seventeen-year-old sibling had skipped the eighth grade… which Vange didn't get because she was kind of a moron. It's not that she was that tall, or that strong, or that smart either; in fact, she seemed to enjoy acting like a complete numbskull. Yes, she was fair in the face and had a nice body, with an exceptionally smooth complexion for a teenager. Yes, her eyes were pretty – brown, like their dad's – but almost always had an alarmingly devious spark, especially when she was listening to that omnipresent iPod of hers. But Vera had three very distinctive features in especially contrasted with the masses.

One Evangeline noticed as Vera was walking back towards her. A beauty mark. Yes, she'd actually been born with it; a conspicuous black brown spot smack in the middle of her left cheek. Two? The hair. Her mane was lighter than her older sister's – making for a more warm shade then Vange's unforgiving dark chestnut – but that's what it was; a mane. A positively feral mass of ringlets, tendrils, and thick heavy curls that fell all the way to her hips. Although she had rarely ever seen one, Vange cringed just imagining the knots that could snarl in that thing.

Three? Personality. That girl was a big blazing ball of it. If personality could be donated like blood, she could give twice a week and still be exhausting to those around her.

Then, Vange sighed and sat back. Heck, she'd lost any understanding she might have had of her little sister years ago, when she had started watching this anime crap. _Weird_ stuff. Especially this "One Piece" thing they were here for. She'd watched several episodes, just to shut Vera up, and Evangeline had had strange dreams for weeks, haunted by rubber men and pink-haired children… yet Vera had assured her with a _grin_ that there was far weirder stuff, like…

Oh, dear _Lord_, she wasn't getting into _that_.

In any case, this was her last summer before she entered the real world! And she was wasting it coming to an anime convention? _Dirty, manipulative, silver-tonguéd creature_, the woman thought to herself bitterly. _It's the only way she could have ever gotten me to come to this freak show._

She took a look at the magazine she'd picked up…

And her eyes bugged out of her head.

So did Vera's. She slapped the yaoi porn magazine out of her big sister's hand, popped a strawberry pocky stick in her mouth, and yanked her along before she tried to read anything else.

**…**

Inside the convention hall, Vera had Evangeline put her head between her knees and drink from a cold water bottle, while ardently reassuring her that she did _not_ read stuff like that. Her big sister appeared to be drowning… and bizarre con attendees roaming about didn't help matters. Especially that one Sailor Moon cosplayer. Dang, that guy had needed to shave his legs.

"Hang in there, sis!" she encouraged. "The con ends in three days. You can make it!"

Vange looked a little pale. "I'm not sure if I can survive through _today_," she whimpered, voice muffled from between her thighs.

Vera wasn't exactly trained in treating exposure to hard yaoi, so she settled for patting her big sister on the back.

_Poor Vange_, she thought, sympathetic. _Culture shock is an ugly thing._

She checked her watch. Oda-sensei's panel was in an hour.

Vera exhaled, a bit torn. Stay with her hyperventilating sister and run the risk of accidentally making things worse… or go have fun at her first anime con, while her onee-chan took a well-deserved breather?

Wow, _that_ was a toughie.

Vera picked up her purse, turning her iPod to "Sexy and I Know It."

"I'll be back, okay?" she said.

Vange nodded. No use saying anything, she could hear the volume from where she was sitting. She heard Vera step away… but her walking sounded rather irregular. She glanced up.

Dang, she was _dancing_ again.

Vange put her head back between her knees, ashamed to be related.

**…**

Vera set off, a quiet smirk on her face and LMFAO blaring in her ears. She loved moments like these… it didn't matter if people saw her as a beauty, or a nerd, or both. Only her iPod set the mood, and she was queen of the world. Yeah, people did tend to stare when she did this.

Vera struck a pose, smoldering brown eyes daring anyone to comment. Let 'em stare.

_Ahm sexy and ah know it._

She pushed off again, her stride like a model on a catwalk as she went to explore the convention hall. Munching on her box of strawberry pocky, she checked out the artistry stands, then the flea market. She fell in love with a smiling Luffy plushie – which she bought – and sniffed out another pocky stand when she found her supply decimated by none other than herself. Any One Piece paraphernalia was the apple of her eye. Soon, Vera added Zoro and Sanji plushies to her little collection, and bought a Strawhat flag sticker for her iPod case.

She stuck it on, then bent her black-haired doll's plush hands behind his head. Looking back on it, she was probably grinning like a retard as she made Chibi Luffy do the wiggle dance along with her song.

Suddenly, Vera paused. She glanced at her other two dolls… and abruptly burst into laughter. _The Monster Trio doing the wiggle dance! That'd be frickin' _hilarious_!_

"Ha! Ahhh…"

Finally, Vera caught her breath, gazing softly at the little plushie in her hand.

On a sudden whim, she held it up to the light. The florescent bulbs overhead cast a pale white halo around Chibi Luffy's little straw hat. Absorbed by his grinning felt face, Vera smiled without thinking, dancing his sandaled feet across a rafter.

_Wouldn't it be amazing to go to the One Piece world? _she thought to herself._ Like, really _go_ there. Like those self-insertion fan fictions I read online all the time. Actually _talk_ to the beloved characters I came to know everything about._

Her face changed, nose screwing up slightly as she eyed her plushie. _Then again, I suppose it's easier to say that when you're talking about a fictional work, not face to face with a real person. With characters, you can just open a book and they'll be right there. Always dependable. _

Vera smiled again. _Yup, that's why I like the anime boys! Because real men suck._

_But still…_

She tossed Chibi Luffy in the air, then tucked him back in her bag with Chibi Zoro and Chibi Sanji. _It would be incredible, wouldn't it?_

"Oh well!" she said aloud. "Back to the food court!"

The brunette was just about to move on, when someone called out to her.

"Hey!"

Vera glanced back out of instinct, then did a double take.

At first glance, it looked like a crooked cloud of some type right in the middle of the convention hall; but upon closer examination, it was a humungous white cloth draped over a haphazard wooden frame. Whatever was inside, there was no guessing. A Japanese man, maybe in his early-late thirties, was sitting in a plastic chair next to the entrance.

There was no one else in the guy's line of sight, but Vera asked nonetheless: "Me?"

He nodded. "Can you help me with something?"

Now, Vera had read the convention handbook a thousand times in preparation for this trip. _At an anime con, don't associate yourself with guys you don't know! _There could be weird and perverted people at these things.

But she was kind of curious of what was in that tent.

"What do you need help with?" Vera called, not retreating but not wanting to step closer.

The man smiled sheepishly. "I have been at this attraction for hours. And I am hungry." He gestured at the massive, slapdash assembly behind him. "Will you watch this thing while I go get lunch, please?"

Vera looked at the structure.

She offered a smile. "How much you paying?"

The guy laughed. He seemed to have a good sense of humor; Vera felt a bit more at ease. "So that is a yes?"

She scratched her head.

"Oh sure, why not?"

The man stood up. "Wonderful! I swear, I was about to eat my own foot." Vera watched his hands as she passed him to take his seat. He seemed to be slightly amused, chuckling at the Monster Plushie Trio peeking out of her purse, but he didn't attempt to steal anything. Still, the brunette kept her guard up; one couldn't be too careful against pickpockets. "Thank you very much. I will be back in a few minutes."

Vera sat down. Placing her bag underneath the plastic chair, she pulled her iPod out of a back pocket and scrolled through her copious playlists, looking for a good song to start the shuffle.

"Oh."

Vera turned down the volume out of habit. "Huh? What?"

He pointed at the tent. "If you want, you can take a look inside. I think you'd like it."

The brunette raised an eyebrow at him. She _was_ curious, but she wasn't sure if she liked that smile; it was like he knew something she didn't.

"What do you mean, I'd 'like' it?" she asked. But he was already walking away, rubbing his belly and mumbling in Japanese.

Vera jabbed a random song – "Derezzed" by Daft Punk – stabbed at the Shuffle option, and leaned back in her chair with a huff, tossing her heavy mane of lush brown hair so she wouldn't sit on it. The crackle of thunder at the beginning of the song eased through her earbuds; not so loud it overwhelmed everything else, like she did with her party shuffle. Nah, this was pensive volume.

"What do you mean, I'll '_like'_ it?" she repeated to herself.

She glanced at the entrance.

It didn't look very dark inside. After all, that sheet wasn't thick enough to block out all of the convention hall's florescent lighting. The girl leaned a little farther over, trying to look deeper… nope. Just dark enough. She couldn't see what was inside from out here.

Vera glared up at the structure, like it was purposefully obstructing her.

_This thing is taunting me._

She stared down the entrance for a whole minute. "Derezzed" pulsed through her brain, the techno chords clearing a path through any fuzzy neurons; finally, as the song wound down to its last thump, Vera realized had no choice but to face the truth.

"Aw, screw it."

She _had_ to peek.

The brunette pulled out her earbuds, wound them around the flat, mirror-black music player, put them in their case, and stuffed it into her bag. She pushed the three heads of her Monster Plushie Trio inside, too, and zipped it all up. Couldn't have _them_ falling out. With that done, Vera bent over, her brown eyes straining; making one last attempt to discern something – anything – inside the structure. As she half-hoped, it proved fruitless.

So she straightened, took a bracing breath, and strode inside.

Her first impression was that of color, or rather, a lack of it. The lighting that was so hard, pale, and revealing outside filtered through the sheet to create a dim, depressingly grey half-light. Vera blinked as her eyes adjusted, then suddenly sneezed. The air was positively stagnant, laden with dust and… something else. She sniffed, trying to identify the scent, but just ended up inhaling more dust. Vera sneezed again, eyes watering.

"W-Well, this is _crap_! There's nothing here!" she coughed. Shielding her nose and mouth, she made for the exit. "That guy was just playing mind games w–!"

Suddenly, the floor lurched to the right.

"GAH!" Vera staggered, then flailed to the left as she overcompensated for her weight. Her foot slammed down on the concrete floor and the girl's arms pinwheeled, very slowly for a moment… but finally she found her balance. There she waited, lungs heaving despite the moist, salty air as she anticipated another lurch.

Hold on.

Vera tasted the air. Wet. Salty. _Sea air?_

"What the h–?"

Was all she had time to say before the floor yawed violently away from her a second time. Vera yelped as her legs were lifted, then slammed to the concrete again. Her knees buckled. She threw her hands out in front of her, barely avoiding a broken nose when the next concussion came.

_What's happening?!_

The tearing of fabric drew her panicked eyes to the ceiling. A whipping gale had torn the structure's cloth covering to so many large shreds, letting in unexpected sunbeams that pierced her retinas like golden javelins. She felt her pupils contract painfully. Multicolored dots swarmed across her vision… blinding her just as the floor heaved again. Vera shrieked as she felt herself tossed three feet off the floor, then thrown back down with a bruising _thud_.

OW. She'd feel that in the morning.

Vera pulled her face off the floor, cringing. _What _is_ this, some kind of freak tornado?!_

All of a sudden, the floor gave one horrifying shudder. The mother of all foreboding rumbles that Vera could feel all the way down to her marrow.

She tensed, eyes wide. _OH CRAP._

Then it came. Vera blacked out for a split second… then suddenly, she was flying a hundred feet in the air, feeling like she'd been hit by a pile driver. The freak tempest twisted her long hair into knots. The sunlight hurt her eyes. The sky was way too blue.

Then suddenly, in that split second when she reached the top of her arc, and the momentum of her sudden and violent flight ran out…

Vera blinked.

And then, she could only gaze in wonder. She was spinning gently in a clear periwinkle sky, a mild sea breeze floating through her hair, with a beaming golden sun that warmed her cheeks like the caress of heaven. It was lovely. Beautiful. Paradise.

But what goes up, must come down.

She had never hated Isaac Newton more than that moment, when she turned away from that divine sun and felt gravity hook its leaden fingers into her. That concrete floor looked very hard.

And very far away.

Vera opened her mouth, sucked in a breath, and screamed _bloody murder_.

Wind was everywhere. It tore the cry from her lips. It billowed through her hair and slashed raw every inch of exposed skin. The concrete rushed up at her at an alarming rate. Vera knew in a matter of moments, she was going to become an extremely messy pancake on the convention hall floor. But suddenly, that unforgiving grey surface wavered…

Then rippled, and turned blue.

_Flaboom_.

Vera landed with a concussive impact into salty ocean water. Deep azure depths filled her vision, pierced by dusky sunrays that fluttered with glowing white impurities. Kinds of fish that she didn't recognize swam lazily through the silent sea, a few of them coming over to examine this strange denizen that had made such a disruptive entrance on their quiet world. Every inch of her body ached, and the stinging salt water threatened to loosen her contacts.

Vera closed her eyes against the curious little fish. She'd never passed out before, but her brain felt like it was being sucked through a straw. And her limbs felt oh, so heavy.

_I'll sleep… just for a second_…

But right before she passed out, Vera's fading senses heard a second splash. She opened her eyes tiredly as something big entered the water. A large, brightly colored silhouette entered her line of vision. It was flashing some kind of Morse code.

With nipple lights.

**.**

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**A/N: Well, I hope you liked it! Leave a comment below if you like, or just wait for Chapter 2! Coming soon! I actually forgot to mention some things at the top, so here they are...**

**1. MAJOR SPOILER ALERTS!**

**2. This is a prototype fiction I call a partial songfic. If a specific song is mentioned in the context, I would recommend playing it as you read on, for maximum enjoyment of the content.**

**3. This is rated T for language, crass humor, graphic violence and a LOT of sexual references in later chapters. Yes, there will be a pairing b/w Vera and a Strawhat... but that come a LOT later, and I'd bet my socks it won't be who you expect!**


	2. Mugiwara KaizokuDan? Oh No

**Second chapter is up, hallelujah! A shoutout to all my first reviewers… dartya, NightWindAlchemist, MusicOfMadness, skipbeataddict, and our mystery man Guest! And oh biscuit, dartya, I could NOT stop laughing at your comment! XD**

**Anyway, happy reading!**

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**Chapter 2:**

**Mugiwara Kaizoku-Dan? Oh No.**

Luffy's big black eyes peeked slowly over the edge of the cot in Chopper's office, practically brimming over with childish curiosity as he stared at the girl lying in one of their infirmary beds.

"Is she a mermaid?"

"_You're so stupid_!" The entire Straw Hat crew had crowded into the infirmary, in order to get a look at this stranger that Franky had fished out of the sea. Now, they all stared at their captain like he was an idiot. Usopp gestured madly at her lower half: "Can't you see she has legs?!"

"Moron," Zoro muttered.

"Well, she was in the sea and she has long hair," Luffy replied defensively, "so how was I supposed to know?"

"Uh, the significant lack of _**scaly bits**_?!"

Luffy nodded. "Ahhh, I see." Then he had a revelation. "Well, she could have scaly bits!"

He went to lift her shirt. "Let's see…"

"You sick pervert!" Sanji cried out, kicking Luffy's head in.

"_OWW_!" Luffy pouted up at the blonde cook, coddling his throbbing head. "What'd you do that for?"

"A beauty like that shouldn't be touched by your shitty rubber hands!"

Zoro rolled his eye. "That's just because he wants to do it himself," he murmured. "Ero-cook."

Sanji whirled. "What was that?!" he demanded, cupping a hand around his ear. "I didn't quite hear you!"

"Ero-cook," Zoro repeated. His mouth twisted into a devilish smirk. "Dartbrow."

Sanji burst into crimson fire. "Oh, that's it! This is the day you die!"

"Bring it, _bitch_!"

"QUIT IT!" Nami shrieked, and boxed all three of them. Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji faceplanted on the floorboard, and after a moment, painful-looking lumps popped out of green, blonde, and black hair. The men looked properly abashed.

"Why'd I get hit, too…?" Luffy whimpered.

"More importantly," Nami continued, ignoring him, "I found this…" She pulled a dripping wet purse from behind her back.

"Yeah, right," Zoro muttered. "'_Found_.'"

When the swordsman was spread eagled on the floor sporting a new lump on his marimo cranium, Nami went on. "Anyway, look at this."

The crew quickly obliged. Luffy sniffed the soaking, shapeless mass. "Smells weird. Can we eat it?"

Nami chose to ignore that, partially because she was preoccupied in trying to unzip the thing. "It's made of a material I've never seen, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't made by any designer I know of. There might be a clue to who she is inside. Or, where she came from."

_Or_ _money_. Everyone knew she was thinking it.

Meanwhile, the purse was proving tougher than she thought. The navigator readjusted the cloth and yanked at the zipper again. "Ugh!" she groaned. "Damn, this thing is stuck!"

Finally, it jerked open a couple inches. "There we go," Nami smiled. Despite themselves, the rest of the Strawhats piled a little closer, wanting to get a look inside before Nami could steal any interesting artifacts for herself. The navigator pulled at the opening a little more, smiling greedily, and pressed an eye against it: "Now, what have we…"

Nami froze.

The crew held their breath. A long moment passed, and she did not move.

Finally, Sanji broke the silence. "Nami-san?"

Usopp glanced at her curiously. "What is it, Nami?"

The navigator glanced up, the white showing all around her eyes, and wordlessly handed him the bag. The sharpshooter peeked inside.

"KYAAAAA!"

Everyone jumped a foot in the air. Usopp dropped the satchel like a hot rock. It landed with a harmless, albeit wet-sounding thump as the long-nosed man pointed at it, shrieking not unlike a woman.

"What is it?!" Chopper demanded.

"What's wrong?" Robin echoed.

"_That is a very familiar face where it does not belong_!" Usopp was screaming.

Luffy hunkered down over the sopping mass, scrutinized it, and reached through the opening without hesitation. The rubber man's eyebrows shot up as his fingers closed around something soft and wet. It didn't sting him, or bite him, though… so he pulled it out.

First came a squishy arm. Then a big, grinning face. He pulled a bit harder. Finally, a torso and plump little legs popped free of their prison.

Everyone gasped.

Luffy's eyes went wide. It was a perfect mini replica of himself!

"That's SO _COOL_!"

Luffy gleefully showed it to his crew. "Look! It's a little me!"

At that moment, there was no discernible difference between the doll's expression and the real thing. Robin leaned down, examining the stuffed object. "Such craftsmanship," she murmured, tracing her graceful fingertip over its face. "Its features are perfect."

She glanced at the girl's satchel – now abandoned on the floor – and picked it up.

"It even has a little Boshi!" Luffy laughed, poking the doll's tiny straw hat.

Zoro, Sanji, Franky, Chopper, and Brook leaned in to get a closer look. It was actually extremely unnerving, how similar it was to Luffy at first glance. It even had a drumstick stitched onto its right hand. However, the doll was wearing an open vest, not a cardigan, and was missing the yellow sash tied around its waist. Also, its chest was unmarked; no trace of the scar their captain had received in the War of the Best.

Franky raised his sunglasses. "That's _super_ creepy!"

"It's you from two years ago," Zoro said. The swordsman snatched it from Luffy and held it high, examining it from all angles.

"Zoro, give me back!" Luffy jumped for the toy, engaging his first mate in a game of keep away that appeared to be just pissing him off. "I was playing with myself! Zorooooo...!"

Chopper started leaping for the doll as well. "I wanna play with Luffy too! Zorooooo…!"

"C'mon, give another person a turn!" Franky grinned, clearly enjoying their ignorance of such a perverted context. "Zorooooo."

"Shut the hell up!" Zorooooo snapped. "I'm not done with him yet!"

"Are you freaking _crazy_, guys?!" Usopp shrieked. "Don't _touch_ it!"

All four of them glanced up.

"Huh?"

"Why?"

A shadow of fear came over Usopp's face. "Luffy. It's a strange doll that looks eerily like you, in a stranger's personal effects! It could be…" He squeaked in terror, horrible visions of blood and bruises running through his mind. "…A curse doll!"

Luffy's jaw dropped. "WHAAAT?!"

Zoro slapped the real Luffy away from him. He gripped the doll with both hands, watching it closely.

Then the swordsman glanced at the girl on Chopper's examination table. "You think she might work for Basil Hawkins, or something?" he wondered aloud. "That guy used stuff like this."

"What?! Basil Hawkins the _Supernova_?!" Usopp's knees began to tremble. "Oh, I feel my I-can't-stay-in-the-same-room-with-a-curse-doll disease flaring up…!"

"There's more than one."

"Now you're just trying to scare me." The sharpshooter rounded on Robin.

Then he saw the tiny model of Zoro in the archeologist's hands and nearly passed out right then and there. "KYAAA!" he shrieked again.

Zoro's eyebrows shot skyward. Luffy used the distraction to swipe his new toy back, but now the swordsman didn't really care.

Picking up Zoro's curse doll, Sanji snickered. "She even got the stupid expression right."

"Shut up," the swordsman muttered. Like Luffy's mini-me, the doll was exquisitely detailed. It was also based on him of two years before. Roronoa Zoro before his trip to the Muggy Kingdom – white short-sleeved shirt, green haramaki, three swords, and both eyes. Its plump little arms were crossed, and its flat, unamused, slightly drowsy expression was so similar to Zoro's, it even creeped the fearless Santoryuu swordsman out a bit. The swords at its hip looked like they'd been detached from a keychain or something. Looking slightly unnerved, Zoro pinched the hilt of mini-Shuusui between his index finger and thumb, and drew it.

Zoro eyed it. "Tch." Even though the tiny sword wasn't perfect, it was amazingly accurate – its black tin blade no longer than a hairpin and only slightly sharper. "I couldn't even use this as a toothpick."

"Isn't that all your swords are good for anyway?" Sanji jeered.

"_What_ _did you say_?!" Zoro snarled.

The cook smiled wickedly. He could suck weeks of torment out of this little toy, and he was going to enjoy every moment of it. "I tell you, shitty swordsman, it's gotta suck to be you right now."

"I wouldn't say anything yet, Cook-san."

"Hah?" Sanji turned as Robin pulled another doll out of the purse.

This one… was blonde. It sported a snappy black suit and dress shoes. It had a cocky, flirtatious expression on its face, its right eyebrow – the only one visible, with a large curl on the outside – raised coyly at Sanji. In its left hand, a tiny felt cigarette was held to the doll's smirking lips. Its right hand was tucked into a pocket. The thing's posture was eerily familiar; leaned slightly forward, slightly slouched, its hips cocked at a provocative angle.

It was him.

Usopp made a faint whistling noise as he actually passed out this time.

Zoro smirked, walked over to Robin, and picked up Sanji's replica. He poked his tiny Shuusui into its forehead. "Feel anything?"

Sanji looked at him. "Uh, no."

Zoro pulled out the replica sword. "Damn."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN _'DAMN_,' YOU DAMN MARIMO?!"

Nami took a long look at this bizarre scene – with the three best fighters of the Strawhat Pirates waving dolls around and shrieking at each other – and sighed tiredly, like she was forty years old, not twenty. "I swear I am going to go prematurely grey with these guys around," she groaned, rubbing her forehead in exhaustion.

Robin chuckled.

Meanwhile Chopper, who had decided playing with mini Luffy wasn't worth getting killed over, watched this all unfold with a childish fascination. It never ceased to amaze him how chaos could ensue over the smallest things on this ship.

"Mm…"

"AH!" The doctor jumped at the small sound. He spun on his hoof to find the source. His eyes went wide. The girl was stirring.

"Guys!" Chopper panicked. "She's waking up!"

Everybody froze.

* * *

Looking back on the situation, Vera wondered if she should have tried to stay fully unconscious for a bit longer. Being out cold was kind of interesting. Different than sleep. When you're asleep, you stare at a sparkling black haze, and time seems to lose its meaning – and when you wake up, you feel refreshed. Also, Vera could always tell when she was asleep. If she doubted reality, she would try to listen with her ears. Dream-people always spoke in a strange, silent mishmash that only she could understand.

For Vera, unconsciousness was a bit different. It was more like a very comfortable blindfold, lined with wool from a black sheep. Entirely dark, no sparkles. However, there were dream-people, and they were speaking in a strange mishmash of language.

But it was far from silent. "Nani o kanjiru?"

"Eto, iie."

"Kuso."

"ANATA WA _'KUSO_,' ANATA WA MARIMO O IMAIMASHI NANI O IMI SURU KA?!"

Vera's brow wrinkled in irritation. Okay, they were freakin' _loud_.

Now, Vera wasn't a morning person. Never had been and never would be, unless she was doing something fun. Being screamed at by figments of her subconscious was _not_ fun. "Shut up!" she tried to yell.

But unfortunately, it came out as a small moan.

"AH!" a high-pitched voice sounded right next to her ear. "Min'na!" it squeaked. "Kanojo wa mewosamasu yo!"

Silence fell so quickly Vera wondered if someone had put earmuffs on her.

She tried to open her eyes. It was absurdly difficult – she could swear someone had attached lead weights to her eyelids – but finally, she managed to crack them open, just a bit. The girl found herself staring at a ceiling of wooden planks. There was a faint scent of antiseptic, and – now this was weird – clean animal fur. She tried to sit up; her body felt far heavier than it should. After a moment of struggling, Vera gave up and lay back down.

Her head hit the pillow a bit harder than she'd intended. Bump.

Instantly, a searing, white-hot bolt of pain shot through her skull, piercing her frontal lobe and temporarily blinding her with a swarm of black dots. Her body involuntarily bolted upright.

She immediately regretted it. _OW!_

A breath hissed through her teeth as she coddled her aching skull. _Ouch… sheesh, I feel like I have my head in a vice!_

_Where am I?_

Vera took a look around, rubbing her temples and blinking to clear her vision. Probably the convention's nursing station. _I was at the convention… wasn't I?_ Then she remembered.

The Japanese guy.

The tent.

The tornado, and her bone-shattering splashdown.

"I bet that dust I breathed in was some kind of _crack_!" Vera exclaimed aloud.

"That creeper! He forced drugs on a minor!" she continued at full volume, yelling completely to herself. A hot fist of vengeance ignited beneath her breastbone. "I could've been kidnapped, or raped! Oh, next time I see that guy, I am _so_ calling security on his butt!

"Soon as I get out of this place…"

Vera swung her stiffened legs out of the infirmary cot, with full intention of dramatically storming out. But then, there was an unexpected flicker of movement in her peripherals.

She glanced up.

Staring at her like she had lobsters crawling out of her ears… were seven of the most mind-blowing One Piece cosplayers she had ever seen.

"Wow!" Vera's mouth dropped. She looked at each one, her smile growing bigger with each character she recognized; there was Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Nami, Robin, and Franky, all post-time skip versions. For some reason, the Usopp cosplayer was playing dead, and the Zoro and Sanji cosplayers seemed to be frozen in mid-scrap; probably rehearsing for a skit competition or something.

"Your cosplays are amazing!" she enthused.

They were all looked at her like she was a little weird, but Vera was too excited to care.

Suddenly, a bit of color drew her eyes down.

"Oh, kawaii!" Vera gasped in delight and picked up the life-sized, 2-years-later Chopper doll that had been standing at the foot of her cot. "It's so _cute_!" She buried its face in her chest and hugged it like crazy. "And so fuzzy!"

There was a collective gasp.

Vera glanced up, then jumped when she saw their appalled faces. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is it yours?" she asked.

Nobody answered, but Vera assumed that was the case. The girl sheepishly pulled the warm, fluffy figurine away from her cleavage. What had she been thinking?! A life-sized Chopper plushie – especially one as good as this – wouldn't just be lying around for crazy people to hug! Someone had probably paid a lot for it, too. Maybe a hundred bucks… or more.

"Sorry," she apologized again. "Here."

The Nami cosplayer (sheesh, that girl had some monstrous implants) accepted the Chopper doll, still looking a bit shell-shocked. Meanwhile, Vera hoisted herself off the cot, bending at the waist to get a closer look at the Luffy cosplayer's scar makeup. It looked real as anything.

"Nice work on the Marineford scar," she commented, glancing up at him flirtatiously. "Did you do it yourself?" Hey, she was an otaku girl. He was a Luffy cosplayer with mouthwatering abs. Do the math.

Then Vera noticed that he was holding Chibi Luffy.

"Oh. That's embarrassing…" she muttered, ashamed as one could get with her inner fangirl bashing on her inhibitions. "Um, that was, like, twenty dollars. Can I have it back?"

The dark-haired guy raised his eyebrows. He pointed at the plushie.

Vera nodded, holding out her hands for it.

The Luffy cosplayer looked back at the plushie, made the most adorable little pout, then sighed and handed it back to her.

Vera smiled and hugged it close to her chest. "Thanks." _Maybe I'll run into this guy later…_

She turned back around, marveling for a second that the convention infirmary's skeleton model – hung beside the door – was eight feet tall and dressed exactly like Soul King Brook. Then she spotted Chibi Sanji and Chibi Zoro in the hands of… well, none other than the guys in Sanji and Zoro cosplay. Sheesh, today just wasn't her lucky day with these plushies!

_They give you an excuse to talk to these guys, though!_ Vera's inner fangirl squealed.

Okay, she had a point. Though Vera couldn't see much of the Sanji cosplayer's musculature, his face was pale, pretty, and airbrushed as a model's, his hair soft and flaxen as corn silk. He was probably wearing contacts – to have eyes so dark, yet so blue. And that Zoro… such yummy muscles…!

Vera flushed, scolding herself halfheartedly for having such a dirty mind.

_Vange would say they're too old for me, anyway. These guys have to be twenty, maybe twenty-one. I'm only seventeen. _

After that, it wasn't too hard to think chaste thoughts. Although Vange was a stick-in-the-mud big sister fresh out of medical school, she was usually always right in matters concerning morals and life. But not anime. No, definitely not anime.

That aside, Vera approached the blonde man in Sanji cosplay – hugging Chibi Luffy to her side – and gestured to Chibi Zoro. "Can I have Zoro back?" she asked. She couldn't help but laugh. "I know you don't like the marimo, but he cost thirty-five!"

Like flicking a switch, the blonde's wary eyes went so warm and gooey Vera could practically see hearts in them. He sank into a graceful bow, offering her the Zoro plushie as he did so. "Mademoiselle," he purred, kissing her hand.

Vera couldn't resist that. "In character, too!" she gasped in delight.

She smiled and gazed coyly down through her lashes at him. "That's hot."

Then she turned – missing Sanji dissolve onto the floor in a warm, gooey mess of happy cook – and approached the Zoro cosplayer warily. Even if those swords weren't real, Vera felt the need to be a little cautious. This guy was actually pretty scary-looking. Although his skin was tanned and his pecs were to die for, his eyes were cold, hard, and sharp as steel – a killer's gaze if she'd ever seen one. His hands were _scary_ big, covered in very real calluses and scars that didn't look like they'd been placed there by a makeup artist. Looking at him, Vera wondered if this guy was some kind of gang member.

_Oh relax,_ insisted the more naïve part of herself. _He's probably just in character, too._

Vera frowned. That headache from earlier was coming back, so she just stopped thinking and spoke to the guy before she lost her stupid nerve.

"Can I have the ero-cook back?" she asked, pointing at the Sanji plushie in his scary hand.

The green haired man looked at her finger, then at the plushie. There was a long pause. He seemed to be thinking… or weighing his options, or something. Vera sighed patiently and waited, her hand out; she knew from middle school that there was no sense rushing slow people.

Then all at once, he seemed to reach a conclusion. "Iie."

Vera raised an eyebrow. Weird way to say "yeah," but okay.

She reached for the plushie.

Suddenly, the Zoro cosplayer reacted with blinding speed, raising her doll above his head and whipping the Shuusui replica from its sheath in the same movement. Vera found the tip of a black sword at her nose and jumped back without thinking. Her back slammed against a very hard, round object – Vera's hand scrabbled at it for a moment before she realized it was the doorknob.

"What the heck, man?!" she shouted. "You said 'yeah'!"

"Chigau!" the Zoro cosplayer shouted back.

He leaned in threateningly, tapping her plushie with the tip of his sword. "Korehanande!" he demanded. He jabbed the point back at her face. "Dare ga anata o okutta?!"

Vera stared at him.

Then her hackles went up. "Are you freaking retarded?!" she shrieked, slapping the model sword away from her face. "And what was that supposed to be, Japanese? Just give me back my stupid–!"

_Pshk._

Both Vera and the Zoro cosplayer blinked. Huh?

They turned to look at the same time.

Apparently, the Sanji cosplayer had been getting back to his feet… when suddenly the tip of a blade – slapped off course – had punctured the skin of his forehead. He seemed more surprised than hurt by the stream of blood now flowing freely down his face.

He wiped a bit off his nose and looked at it. "Nani?"

Now Vera narrowed her eyes at him. "'Nani?'" she wondered aloud, bewildered. _What the heck! Why is he speaking Japanese?_

Wait.

Her eyes widened. Oh, CRAP. That was a live sword.

Vera's eyes bugged at the Zoro… cosplayer…?

He was gaping at the blonde with his eye round as a saucer, white showing all around his sharp black-green iris. That was understandable, he just stabbed somebody. But what Vera didn't understand was that then – he slowly looked back at the Sanji plushie in his hand.

And although she couldn't see it, the teeny hole in its felt forehead.

Vera gave a nervous grin. "Um, sorr–?"

She screamed and ducked as Zoro swiped at her head. The vicious wake of the blow tugged at her hair; Vera frantically yanked at the doorknob.

Nothing happened.

"Oh, crap, PUSH!"

The door opened and Vera took off running down the hallway.

"Kanojo no tame ni, Zoro!" a woman's voice yelled.

The brunette skidded around a corner, her hair flying, driven faster by the sound of heavy footsteps just behind her. "HELP!" Vera screamed. "SECURITY! He has a real sword!"

Her head, heart, and legs pounded to the same frantic beat as she fled, taking turns at breakneck speeds. Fear made her blood run fast and cold. Suddenly, she stumbled. As she hit the floor, she felt a huge hand against her hair; she screamed so loud it hurt her own ears. Apparently it stunned her pursuer as well, long enough for Vera to make a mad scramble back to her feet.

"Chikusho!"

She heard her pursuer curse as she took off again, her heart trying to beat its way out of her chest. _Where the heck is security?_ Vera panicked, gasping for air. _This guy is nuts!_

Then, to her horror, a metallic hiss sounded behind her.

She'd heard that sound too many times on One Piece not to recognize it. The sound of three blades sliding out of their sheaths.

"Santoryuu…"

He was crazy enough to think he could exactly use Three-Sword Style! Vera knew she had exactly one second to react. This guy might not be the real Roronoa Zoro, but with real swords he could do real damage to himself or to her. Okay, she couldn't outrun him. She sure as heck couldn't stop it. So her only choice was to –!

"Oni…"

_Dodge!_

"GIRI!" Zoro lunged just as Vera folded to the floor. Almost immediately, his foot slammed her in the side. Vera felt like she'd been hit with a pile driver; her vision went black for a split second. She felt – more than saw – the man trip headlong and actually go flying. And apparently, her pursuer was hurtling through the air with enough force to break down a solid wooden door.

"Uwahhhhhhh!"

He smashed face-first into it. Vera tried to protect her head as the door practically exploded, sending wood chunks and splinters flying helter-skelter in all directions.

But eventually, the debris settled.

All went quiet.

Slowly, warily…Vera opened one eye. Then the other.

A scene of destruction, hilarity, and relief awaited her. Destruction, because the door had basically been blown off its hinges. Hilarity, because the Zoro wannabe appeared to be unconscious and was buried under a mountain of the debris. It looked like a wood chipper had thrown up on him; the only thing Vera could see of him was his rear end, which was sticking up in the air. She would have laughed if her ribs hadn't been smarting so much.

And relief, because Vera could see green grass just beyond.

The girl let out a joyful sound and scurried to her feet, hurrying across the broken threshold. She never thought she would be so happy to see sunlight. Still feeling a little vengeful, she couldn't help one last jab at the unconscious Zoro wannabe.

The girl jumped with both feet and landed hard on his upraised behind – sticking her tongue out at his epic faceplant as she soared over him on her path to freedom. "FAIL!" she jeered.

That felt good.

Then her feet touched down on the grass. It admittedly took a good chunk of bravado out of her performance, but Vera had to stagger a few steps before she expended the last of her momentum.

_Well, I suppose all's good and that's that. Moving on_, she told herself, more than a little upset with Isaac Newton again. She planted a foot on the grass and glanced about. _Okay, where am I…?_

Vera stared.

And stared.

Then stared some more.

Look again, her brain told her eyes.

We're looking! her eyes insisted. It's real!

The grass she was standing on sure wasn't the lawn outside the convention hall. Unless the lawn outside the convention hall was rigged to rock back and forth under her feet and be surrounded by nothing but ocean as far as the eye could see. A mast soared high over her head, its billowing sail stitched with a grinning skull wearing a straw hat. A ways away, Vera spotted the reverse side of a lionesque figurehead. It was the deck of a ship… and a very familiar one at that.

The Thousand Sunny?

Vera swallowed, salty sea wind blowing across a face pale with shock.

"Toto…?" she croaked to no one in particular, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore…"

Suddenly, a clatter sounded behind her back. She whipped around, throat closing up in terror; Roronoa Zoro was fighting free of the wreckage. He was glaring straight at her. He seemed to be sizing her up now – she'd caught him by surprise, dodging Oni Giri. But by the look in his eyes, he did not intend to miss this time.

_Move!_ screamed her sense of self-preservation. _Move, stupid!_

But Vera might as well have been a statue, frozen like mouse in the eyes of a snake as the swordsman slid all three of his weapons back into their sheaths. Warily, he gripped the Wado Ichimonji's white hilt. His eyes did not leave her the entire time.

"Ittoryu Iai…"

Vera's eyes widened as his stance changed. She knew that stance. In the anime, it never boded well for the person on that attack's receiving end. And those people were freakishly superpowered spawn of Japanese imagination! She was a freakin' _American_!

_I am SO screwed!_

"_Shishi_ –!" Zoro growled.

That snarl broke the paralyzing spell over Vera. She tripped backwards, although her otaku's brain told her that there was no point in running. Then, something turned under her foot, and she started to fall.

She saw Zoro's eyes narrow. He lunged. That trick wasn't going to work on him again!

"_SONSON_!"

Out of the corner of her eye, Vera noticed a streak of blonde hair as it flew through the doorway.

Suddenly, she was blown back by a short, but explosive impact. Her ears popped with the abrupt change in air pressure. Her skin on her face went tight, and her ears suddenly felt like they'd been stuffed with cotton. For a moment, everything was nice and peaceful. She was floating in the air, gazing tranquilly up at the blue sky – for the second time today.

She waited for a long moment, then blinked.

… _Am I dead yet?_

Fate decided to answer her question in form of her rear end mercilessly hitting the deck, all the air left in her lungs forced out in an undignified whoosh. "Woof!"

Vera flopped onto her side, now smarting even more_. I guess that's a "no."_

Cringing, she glanced up, curious as to what had saved her from the Lion's Song.

Sanji stood between the girl and the irate first mate, Wado Ichimoni stopped dead by his Haki-reinforced dress shoe. Blood was still streaming from the wound in his forehead. The deep red liquid stood out in fearsome contrast with his flawless white skin and corn silk hair, making the furious light in his eye that much more intimidating.

Zoro looked nothing short of murderous. "Anata wa kanojo o mamotte iru?!" the swordsman bellowed.

"Arasai, teme!" the cook snarled. "Dono yo ni _rady_ o satsugai shiyou to suru yuki?!"

The swordsman answered back in snarling Japanese, with a fury to rival Sanji's, and they began to bicker. Vera stared for a moment… then slowly eased back down. Just lying there and staying quiet was probably her best option at the moment. _I don't know what's going on here_, Vera thought, gazing wide-eyed up at the clouds. _But there's only one explanation._

Her mouth quirked. _I'm still on drugs._

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Lol! Well, what would YOU think?! O_o**

**Looks like the Strawhats have a strange new guest on board! Who… can't even speak the same language. This is gonna be interestiiiiiiiiiing.**


	3. The Sky Stalker

**Chapter 3 is up, yay~! Also, I wasn't sure if I could get in trouble or not with this, so I'll just say it. Although some of the Japanese dialogue is written by ear, translation from English and Romanizing the kanji is primarily done by Google Translate. DISCLAIMER: I am not bilingual. **

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 3:**

**The Sky Stalker**

"How about now?"

"No."

"…How 'bout now?"

"No."

Luffy poked the mini model of Sanji again. "Now?"

"_**NO**_!" Sanji finally exploded, knocking Chopper off his lap. The crew had been interrogating his health more over this stupid little nick than they had over broken bones! "I don't feel _anything_, you rubber bastard! I feel fine, for the _last. Freakin. TIME_!"

The reindeer doctor shifted to Heavy Point threateningly. "Sanji, if you can't hold still I'll hold you down!"

"It's not even a prick," Sanji complained, but allowed his forehead to be swabbed with antiseptic. "That _lovely_ lady didn't do anything to me." The blonde flared up at Zoro, who was slouching against the wall of Franky's workshop. "_He_'s the one who should be tied up in the brig, not her! _Bastard, why the hell were you chasing her_?"

"She had the _captain_ in her hands!" Zoro seemed equally pissed. "And me, too! What if she'd tried to twist off one of our heads? Look what happened to you, ero-cook!"

"If anyone stabbed me, it was _you_, shitty swordsman!"

Chopper yanked Sanji's head back around. "Hold _still_!" He finally slapped a band-aid on the cook's head and hopped down, visibly pissed.

"In any case…"

Robin's tone was pensive as she looked at the strange, shiny black device they'd discovered in the stranger's purse. It had been protected from the sea by a waterproof case of some sort – which oddly enough, had the Strawhat's Jolly Roger emblazoned on the back. Aside from the curse dolls, it was the only thing they could use to find out her identity. Now, both Nami and the archeologist were standing at Franky's side, watching the shipwright tap away at the keys of some massive machine, running scans on the sleek, hand-sized device. "This object may give us some clues as to _who_ we have in our brig."

Franky hitched up his sunglasses, green lines of hacker data reflected back on their lenses. "Well, I thought it might have been a communicator of some sort, but it's '_super'_ hard to tell. This thing is based in a completely different language."

Nami leaned in. "What is it?"

Luffy had lost interest in poking mini Sanji. He peeked over their shoulders. "Ooooo… looks weird."

"Hmm…"

Robin leaned in closer, memories racing through her head. These letters, the phonetic sequence… she'd read something about this language, a long time ago. It might have even been on Ohara. "I think it's English."

"_English_?" the rest of the crew chorused.

"What's that?" Usopp asked. He'd recovered nicely from his fainting spell, but still looked a little pale. "Some kind of food?"

The archeologist straightened. "It's a dead language," she explained to the crew's inquiring glances. "As a whole, that is. I know a bit. But only a couple phrases, and the odd word or two. In my entire life, I've met very few people who can understand more than that… and I've never heard of someone who could actually _speak_ it." She gazed hungrily at the screen, aquamarine eyes eagerly drinking in line after line of the strange runes. "Such a fabulous discovery…"

Nami, on the other hand, didn't look so enthralled.

"So other than Robin's couple words, we have no way of translating it?" she asked. One look at Franky's face – blank as a sheet of paper – was answer enough. The navigator groaned and tapped a fist on her mouth.

"Brook."

The skeleton turned in his swivel chair, saluting. "Yes, Nami-san!"

"Don't go all military on me now, 'Soul King.' What's she doing?"

"Ah, well. Let's see!" Brook took a look at the monitor, which was relaying the feed from a little Video Transponder Snail Franky had set up in the brig. "Well, she appears to be smiling a little bit… and hitting her head against the wall… But other than that, all is well!"

Zoro scowled at the screen. "Keep watching her."

Franky did not pry his eyes from the screen. "Relax, Zoro-bro. She seemed docile enough when I brought her down there." Actually, "docile" was an understatement. Before he'd slung that girl over his shoulder to bring her back below deck, he'd thought only unconscious people could be that limp. "She could have been a sack of potatoes."

The swordsman did not look convinced.

Zoro's pride wasn't the only thing that was still sore from his own little encounter with the stowaway. She had led him on one hell of a chase through Sunny's lower decks, and when he tried to use Santoryuu, he'd been sent flying through a frickin' _door_! Then she'd _laughed_ at him. And called him a name! Zoro could only guess what it meant, but he did know one thing; she knew his fighting style. If she had Observation Haki, that'd at least be something to go on. But he hadn't sensed a thing!

"She's dangerous," Zoro growled.

Usopp felt like he was going to wet his pants. "_'Dangerous_?' This coming from ZORO?" he shrieked. "Oh, we are _so_ screwed! We are so screwed I can't even _tell_ you how screwed we are!"

"Calm down, Long Nose-san."

Suddenly, the machine made a promising beeping sound. Franky broke out in a huge grin; everyone instinctively turned around.

"I got it!" the shipwright crowed. He crouched back down over the keys. "Okay, it seems to be some kind of data storage device –" Franky blinked, then rephrased for their less tech-savvy nakama, "– Like a Tone Dial, but more sophisticated."

Luffy had a revelation. "_Aaaah_!"

"I see…" Usopp and Chopper mused.

"Okay," Zoro murmured.

The cyborg turned back to the screen, which now displayed a scrolling list of what he could assume were song titles; although they were in "English," so he couldn't tell. "_Damn_, there's a lot!"

Luffy, the ever adventurous, jumped up next to him. "Click one!"

"Aye, aye, captain." He scrolled the mouse over and clicked on one of the titles.

Now, it was safe to presume the Strawhats had been expecting something like "Bink's Sake," so when a quiet bebop of music began to play, they all leaned closer – curious. "Hm?"

"Turn it up."

"Sure." Franky twisted the dial, turning the whispered melody up to a throbbing cascade of notes.

Unfortunately for them… this song was "Breathe into Me" by Red. When the song cut silent, everyone raised an eyebrow. Franky cranked up the volume again.

Luffy pressed his ear against the speaker. "Did you break it?"

Then Luffy was blasted back by a pulsating wave of raw, heavy metal guitar. Their captain went rolling across the room, eyes spinning as the Strawhats clamped their hands down over their ears. Chopper shouted in distress.

"Turn it down! Turn it _DOWN_!"

Franky pounded the mute button. Silence fell instantly. The Strawhats groaned and sighed in relief; Luffy lay dazed in the corner, his ears still ringing.

"Franky?"

"Yes?"

"That was _awesome_!" The captain jackknifed to his feet, grinning crazily. "Click another one!"

"_**NO**_!" Nami, Zoro, and several others screamed, whacking him over the head in unison.

Luffy hit the floor as Franky looked on, rubbing his mechanically modified ears. Right now, the cyborg was regretting those upgrades. "Yosh," he said to no one in particular, closing the list. "_This_ music; bad."

Then something caught his eye.

Franky looked closer, then scrolled in. "Hm?"

Nami stalked over to their shipwright. "Why is that thing still up?" she demanded. "Smash it to pieces and throw it overboard!"

"Just wait a minute, Nami-sis." The man scrolled down through a new list he had found. "These lists. They don't look like they have music files… each segment is between twenty and thirty minutes long."

"So, they're – what – video files?"

Robin came over, seeming mostly unaffected by the speaker incident. "Let me see." She leaned in, eyes darting over the screen, seeing if she could read any of it. "Something… 'High School… Host Club,'" she translated haltingly. "Something 'Alchemist…' and…"

Her eyes widened. "–!"

Nami blinked at the older woman's dumbfounded expression. It wasn't one she normally saw on those streamlined features. "What is it, Robin?"

Robin closed her mouth. "…"

Slowly, deliberately, she raised a finger to the screen, pointing at the name of one playlist in particular. That was one phrase she _definitely_ knew.

"'ONE PIECE.'"

Behind them, Luffy perked up. "What? One Piece?"

He pushed a fussing Chopper away and squeezed himself between his shipwright and the archeologist. "Where? Click it!"

After the last time, Franky was a touch hesitant to make his move. But his captain had given an order. He adjusted the volume control, leaned away from the speakers… and selected the playlist.

An image came on the screen. "_Wealth, fame, power…_"

"I can understand it!" Luffy gasped.

"Hush!" In spite of themselves, the rest of the crew wandered over, curiosity piqued by this strange new development. Upon closer examination, Robin saw that – although the original video format was in their language – lines of English text appeared at the bottom of the screen. _Translation!_ That was exciting enough.

But the next few lines took her breath away.

"– _Gold Roger, the King of the Pirates –_"

"WHAAAT?"

Nami whacked him again. "Shut _up_, Luffy!" The navigator looked wide-eyed back at the screen, as did everyone else.

" – _attained everything this world has to offer. The words he uttered just before his death drove countless people to the seas._" That man on the screen, seated on a platform… surely that wasn't –? Then a deep, gravelly voice spoke to the Strawhats:

"'_My treasure? If you want it, you can have it!_'"

Everyone's eyes went wide as saucers.

"'_Find it!'_" the mustached man continued. "_'I left everything this world has to offer there!'_"

The other voice resumed its narration. "_And so man head for the Grand Line in pursuit of their dreams! The world has truly entered a Great Pirate Era!_"

Then… singing?

And a very familiar person appeared on the screen.

"Oh my GOD!" Nami's mouth was agape, her body shivering. Usopp screamed and passed out again. Sanji gasped. Zoro's eyebrows shot up. The rest of them made a sound they couldn't have repeated even if they tried.

"Luffy!" Chopper flailed at the moving images. "You're on TV!"

"And Zoro, Nami, Usopp, and Sanji, too!" the captain guffawed. "THIS IS _SO COOL_! Sanji, go make popcorn!"

The cook blew up, trying to explain to his captain that food was not what they had to be worried about at this point; Luffy started to whine. But the resulting bicker faded into the background for Robin. Her mind was racing as she watched images fly by on the screen.

"Why don't we watch it?"

Nami looked at Robin like she had a screw loose. "What?"

The archeologist smiled. "It's obviously some kind of documentary, despite its rather bizarre format. This is a good opportunity to see how much that girl knows about us. Cook-san?"

Sanji glanced up from the headlock he had Luffy in, hearts in his eyes. "Yes, Robin-chwan~?"

"Perhaps some chairs and snacks would be appropriate?"

"Yes, Robin-chwan!" The cook spun out of the room.

"_I'm Luffy!_'" the machine chimed in. "_The Man Who's Gonna Be King of the Pirates!_"

Robin leaned back with a serene expression. _This… should be interesting._

**.oOo.**

Outside, the shadow of the Thousand Sunny's mast moved like a sundial as the sun made its slow journey across the sky. In no time, it reached its apex and began to descend. Still, the Strawhat pirates continued to watch their misadventures in the East Blue.

"Ha ha ha!" Luffy laughed raucously, spewing bits of candy into the air. "I forgot that happened! That's funny!"

Franky tossed a piece of popcorn into his mouth. "Sheesh, these graphics are terrible. You guys really did all this before you even got your first ship?"

"Yup! Ah, it feels oddly nostalgic!"

Nami scowled.

"Turn it off," the navigator commanded.

"What?" Usopp protested noisily, brandishing a licorice stick like a war banner. "But Luffy hasn't even beat Kuro yet! We _gotta_ keep watching!"

"Huh? When did you wake up?"

Nami smacked them both. "We've been here for _six hours_, and this thing is freaking me out! Franky, how many segments are there?"

The cyborg took a look, and choked. "Over five hundred…"

"_What_?" Nami shrieked, then turned to Robin. "Robin, this 'documentary' – or whatever the hell it is –It has to have every relevant thought, memory, and event since Luffy first set out. Supposing this girl has seen it all, she knows _everything_ about us… even our _pasts_! Only an omniscient being could make something like this! How is it possible? Who _is_ this person?"

The archeologist gazed at her calmly; but inside, her nerves were buzzing with excitement.

"She fell from the sky. In a blaze of light."

Nami blinked.

Then, the implications of that simple statement struck her like a ten-ton wrecking ball. "You mean… she could be…?"

Robin nodded. "A fallen angel."

Silence reigned for a long moment.

"I'm gonna go talk to her!" Luffy suddenly said, breaking the silence.

"WHAT?" Usopp exclaimed. "Luffy, you can't _do_ that!"

The rubber man snatched up his doll, glancing back at their sharpshooter. "Why not?" he asked. "We're making all these blind assumptions. She probably knows the most about herself, so why not ask her?"

Zoro frowned at his captain as he passed him on the way to the door. "Don't you remember? I asked her who she worked for, and she got all hissy!"

"And _she doesn't speak our language_!" Usopp added.

Luffy smiled cheerfully. "I'll figure something out."

With that, the door closed behind him. The rest of the crew stared after him dubiously… then, Sanji sighed.

"We'd better go with him."

"Are you nuts?" Usopp cried. But the cook got up and followed Luffy's example, quietly leaving the room.

Zoro growled. "Stupid ero-cook!" He did the same.

"You have to be kidding me! _Guys_!" Usopp watched in disbelief as one by one, the rest of the crew sighed, then got up and followed their captain, leaving the sharpshooter in an empty room with just the computer for company.

Usopp shot a nervous glance at the sleek, black, otherworldly device. He could swear it was staring at him…

He ran after them. "Don't leave me alone!"

* * *

"...Pass it around, one bottle of beer on the wall~"

Vera sighed. She was singing to herself; the ultimate sign of being bored out of her freaking _gourd_.

Well, what did she expect? She'd been chained up for an _eternity_. At least she didn't feel that nervous, now that it was established she was on a drug trip – or the like, at least. Nothing like this had ever really happened to her before, but heck, who knew? Made more sense than any _other_ explanation.

"How long are these hallucination-Strawhats gonna keep me waiting?" Great. Now, she was talking to herself.

Vera looked up at the little Transponder Snail; it was almost annoying, how closely it was staring at her. _ Ah, screw it. Maybe my mind has created some kind of infrastructure, like in Inception, and they're watching it. Dang, that was a cool movie… Oh, I'm getting distracted. Stupid. _"I have to _pee_!" Vera yelled at it. "Oi!"

Her side twinged with pain.

_Ow. _The girl scowled. Despite the fact that this was a hallucination, she seemed to feel pain that corresponded with any injuries sustained. _Well, that's dumb. What happens if I get killed? Do I fall into Limbo, or something?_

She only had a little time to think about that when, without warning, the door opened, and Luffy sauntered into the room, looking at ease holding Chibi Luffy. The rest of the Strawhats followed in single file; Sanji, then Zoro, Robin, Nami, Franky, Brook, and finally Chopper. Usopp brought up the rear. Unlike the rest of the crew – whose faces ranged from extremely wary to vaguely curious – he looked like he was about to wet his pants.

Vera sat up.

Luffy didn't seem like he was going to beat around the bush. "Anata wa tenshi desu ka?"

Nami knocked him upside the head and started shouting at him in Japanese. Apparently, she was embarrassed by his chronic lack of tact. Luffy shouted back defensively, holding his head. Vera's inner fangirl wanted to laugh at this funny little skit… but her outer hissy teenage girl had been sitting still for hours straight. Her butt hurt, her ribs hurt, her side hurt, and her head felt like it was turning to mush with all this foreignese crap! Something snapped.

"Self-respecting hallucinations should speak frickin' _Eng_lish!" she yelled.

The pair stopped fighting to look at her. Vera jingled her wrists: "I know I'm probably high as a kite or dreaming or something, but these chains are uncomfortable, and you kept me waiting forever!" She pointed a wild finger at Franky. "Take responsibility, cyborg!

"And you!" She rounded on Zoro – as much as she could with her hands tied above her head. His eyes narrowed, his hand closing around Shuusui's hilt, but Vera didn't care; she was pissed off. "You probably broke my _rib_ with that Santoryuu stunt of yours!" she accused, pounding a heel on the floor for emphasis. "I'm _glad_ you flew through a door! You better watch yourself, or the _worst_ of heaven's judgment will come upon you!"

_Okay, that last bit was a little overdramatic_, said her sense of reason in Vange's voice.

_Shut up! _Vera told her big sister. _It's not like I can be held responsible for my actions. This is a dream, after all._

Then she noticed the Strawhats had gathered around Robin, in the eerie similarity of a football huddle. She raised an eyebrow. _What are they doing?_

* * *

"So, what did she say, Translator-san?" Nami asked.

For once, Robin looked a little uncertain. "She was speaking very fast… and I didn't catch a lot of it," the older woman admitted. "But I believe she said she came from '_high_' above, and she knows we are – dreaming?"

"She knows our dreams?"

"I suppose." Robin turned to Zoro, a small smile on her face. "And I'm sure you caught this, but she does _not_ like you, Swordsman-san. Apparently she did not appreciate your… 'stunt.' She mentioned," Robin paused, looking a little hesitant, "'heaven's judgment.'"

The swordsman turned to the rest of the crew. "Well, she's delusional, I'll give you that."

"How dare you call such an angel delusional?" Sanji erupted.

"Yeah, Zoro! Don't mess with otherworldly forces."

Those steely emerald-black eyes rolled. "'Otherworldly forces,' my ass," he replied, hunkering down near their captive's face. He twirled a finger near her nose, feeling he more than deserved a little vengeance. "She's probably just some two-cent… OW!"

Suddenly, Zoro yelped in surprise and pain as the girl's teeth bit down on his index finger. He yanked it back, examining it for teeth marks; the marimo shot her a glare that could have peeled rock. Undaunted, the girl glowered right back at him, resuming her angry tirade and swinging a foot at him, trying to hit the swordsman.

Sanji laughed as Zoro jumped out of range. "Ha ha ha ha ha! That is _funny_!"

"_Shut up_!"

Brook took Zoro's place, hunkered down in front of the girl.

"Ojo-san…"

* * *

_No way._ Vera stared at the skeleton, disbelieving. _He's not gonna –?_

He was gonna. "_Pantsu_ misetemo ote, yoroshi desuka?" Brook asked politely.

Vera scowled viciously.

"_**IIE**_."

* * *

Brook jumped back to the others as if scalded, cackling. "Yohohoho, she's harsh!"

* * *

"I am _not_ harsh!" Vera protested.

* * *

Hearing her immediate response, Brook turned.

"Ahhh! When I listen, it sounds like she can understand me…" he observed. "Although I have no ears to listen with! Yohohohohoho!"

As abruptly as she had snapped at him, the girl began to giggle. The entire Strawhat crew stared at her, thoroughly confused. Most of them weren't sure what to be most puzzled about – her unexplainable changes in mood, or the remote possibility that she had understood Brook's joke and still found it funny.

_Ah, it's probably just a fluke._

The girl chuckled. "Skull joke…I get it."

Luffy shrieked. He threw his arms up in the air, sending his curse doll hurtling toward the ceiling; Usopp screeched like a banshee and raced to catch it as it fell. "SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE SKULL JOKE!" Luffy panicked, running in frantic circles around his crew. "WE'RE ALL GONNA _DIE_!"

"YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT _THE SKULL JOKE?_" they shouted.

"UWAHHHHHHH!"

Usopp gasped for breath, curse doll safely in his grasp. "You _dumbass_!"

The girl started laughing again.

"Tch!" Nami turned to glare at this bizarre, if pretty, person. "Look, it's strange enough that she didn't react to a walking, talking, eight-foot skeleton in the first place!" she announced to the crew. "But to know enough about Brook to identify perverted comments and cheesy skeleton-centered jokes in an entirely different language? She's an angel cast down from heaven for being a stalker!"

"I agree, Nami-swan!" Sanji spun around the room, trailing hearts. "She is beautiful as you, so she is surely an angel!"

Zoro scowled. "A witch is more like it, or a bounty hunter. Devil Fruit user. Something real, not all this supernatural shit you're spouting."

"M-Maybe she's just a girl…" Chopper said timidly, throwing in his two cents.

"I disagree!" Usopp barked, throwing the reindeer's two cents back down his throat. "She's a demon!"

"SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE SKULL JOKE!" Luffy was still screaming. "WAHHHH!"

"_Wait_."

* * *

"_Matte_."

Vera fell silent at the archeologist's tone, as did the rest of the Strawhat crew, looking on with wide eyes as Robin approached her. The word meant "wait." Vera knew that much from watching anime subs… but wait? For what?

Chocolate met aquamarine.

Robin's eyes were surprisingly compassionate, but at the same time, brimming with intelligence and childish curiosity. It was a comforting, maternal gaze. "Ochitsuite kudasai," Robin said soothingly. "Watashitachi wa anata o kizutsukeru koto wa arimasen yakusoku shimasu." Her voice was lovely and reassuring.

Somehow reminded of her own mother, Vera allowed herself to relax, meeting the older woman's gaze calmly and evenly.

"Good."

Vera opened her eyes wide. "You can speak English?" she gaped. "Well, thank goodness, 'cause I was about to –!"

"M-Matte, matte," Robin interrupted, waved her hands pleadingly. Vera petered off, feeling a little awkward as the archeologist smiled apologetically. "L-Little," the woman said haltingly. "Very little."

"Oh."

"E… you," Robin gestured to Vera, then to herself and the crew behind her, "understand us?"

"Not much," she replied, shooting an annoyed glare at the marimo. But she smiled at the archeologist. "A little."

"Good." Robin seemed to hesitate.

Then the blue-eyed woman pointed at her. "Anata wa…"

_Me? _Vera raised an eyebrow, curious as Robin raised her shoulders in a shrugging motion, then pointed around the room. "…doko…"

_Ceiling? Oh! "Where," maybe? _

"Kara…" Robin raised her palm, walking two fingers across it. "… kuru ka?"

She dropped her hands, then pointed to Vera again: "Anata wa doko kara kuru ka?"

_Where do I… come from?_

"OH!" Vera gaped, thumping her feet on the floor. "I know this one, I know this one! Um."

She pointed to herself – with difficulty since her hands were (still!) chained. "_I_." She tried to imitate the gesture Robin had done for "came," but ended up doing some kind of weird flapping motion. "Am from."

Vera thought about it for a moment, then settled for some type of wild swing with her foot. "Another," she abbreviated.

"_Sekai_." The Japanese word for _world_.

Robin's eyes lit up. "Ah! Anata wa, ikai kara kimashita!"

_Wha?_ But Vera decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, and nodded. "Um… hai."

* * *

The archeologist turned to the crew, all of which – for once – were listening attentively. "She came from the Otherworld!"

"Nice, Robin!" Luffy congratulated her.

"So, she's… what?" Chopper wondered aloud. "A sky stalker?"

Zoro snorted.

Then suddenly…

_**KABOOOM!**_

The ear-shattering sound of cannon fire nearly deafened the nine Strawhats. The Sunny heaved to one side; her passengers were thrown to the opposite side of the room, several crying out in surprise and pain as they hit.

Sanji pried his face off the wall. "What the hell was that?"

Luffy thrust his straw hat firmly back onto his head and checked with a quick pulse of Observation Haki. Six Navy ships were surrounding the Sunny!

_A captain pointed at their infamous pirate ship: "FIRE AT WILL!" he ordered._

_ The cannoneers roared an affirmative, took aim, and…_

_**BOOM!**_

Luffy was jerked back into his own surroundings as the Sunny heaved again. "It's the Navy," the captain growled, stuffing his fun little curse doll into his sash. "And just as things were getting interesting, too!"

"WHAT?" Nami exclaimed, whirling on their three Haki users. "Why didn't you guys sense them coming before _now_?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, we were a little _busy_!" Luffy and Zoro barked.

"Nami-_swaaaaaan_~!"

The navigator's palm met her face. "Ugh… I guess there's no helping it now," she muttered to herself, then began to shout orders. "All hands on deck! Franky, prepare a Coup de Burst! We need to get out of range as soon as possible!"

Franky struck a pose. "_'Super'_ leave it to me!"

"_Move_ it, pervert!"

Nami dashed after the happy cyborg, slamming the door behind her. They'd deal with the sky stalker later! Right now, the Strawhat Pirates had bigger problems.

Blinding sunlight broke over her as she pushed open the door to the outside. She skidded to a stop, blinking to help her eyes adjust. The deck resembled an overturned anthill of fighting. Looking around, the navigator quickly deduced what had happened. The Marines had actually managed to get on board the Sunny, but when the Strawhat crew had suddenly rushed out, they'd been caught in the middle – and although a few of the Navy soldiers had the brains to stay in formation, most had been swept up in a maelstrom of flailing limbs.

It was obvious her nakama hardly needed her help… but they needed to get these guys _off_ the Sunny before Franky pulled the Coup de Burst!

"Hey!" Nami called, grasping her Climatact. "Leave some for me!"

She leaped over the rail and into the melee. After all, how was a woman supposed to get stronger if all she did was stand by and look pretty?

* * *

Meanwhile, down in the brig, Vera had just about had it. She'd been sitting on her butt for _hours_ on end, she was hungry, she had a headache – and a ribache – she needed to use the restroom, and she was going to miss watching a freaking _Coup_ _de_ _Burst_!

She heard scrambling above her head. The floor gave another unpleasant lurch, causing her side to twinge again.

Vera could swear she felt a tic in her forehead. _That's __**it**__!_

"OIIIIIII!" she shrieked, thumping her heels on the floor again. She felt like a toddler doing it, but at the moment, her feet were her only other alternative noisemakers. "BAKA MUGIWARAS! Tasukete! This is unjust treatment!"

Vera waited for a moment.

She didn't hear any pause in the chaos overhead.

The girl growled. "OI! _TASUKETE_!" she yelled the Japanese phrase for _help me_ at the top of her lungs. "Mugiwara no Ichi–!"

The door slammed open. Vera dropped her eyes to her guests: "Finally! About time!"

But these new arrivals weren't who she thought they were. Vera stared, dumbstruck, at the two Marines standing in the open doorway. They looked just as surprised as she was. Her eyes darted down to their muskets – then back to their faces.

"Oh, wrong door," she squeaked. "The girl shouting is in the… other brig?"

One of the soldiers looked wide-eyed at his partner and exclaimed something in Japanese. The other Marine nodded, responding just as frantically. Then they did something Vera was _not_ expecting; they rushed over to her, one of them fumbling at her handcuffs while the other smiled reassuringly.

"Daijobu!" said the Navy soldier to her flabbergasted expression.

"Anata wa ima, anzenda!" reassured the other, picking at the lock.

_Huh? _Vera just stared as her chains came loose, and suddenly she found herself hoisted aloft. "WHOA!" _What are they doing? _she thought frantically as they carried her down the hall.

_Oh… crap! Do they think I'm a hostage?_

"Ch-choto matte!" Vera stuttered. _I__s that the right phrase? I think so!_ "Watashi… ummm…"

"Daijobu!"

"You're not _listening_!" Vera shouted, exasperated as they went through another door and burst into sunlight and deafening noise.

One of her intended "rescuers" yelled something into the melee.

* * *

"_They had a hostage_!"

Luffy punched out another soldier, then whirled towards the cry that echoed across the din. Two Marines were rushing for the edge of the deck, hauling an already all-too-familiar brunette kicking and screaming between them. Why'd they have her?

"Hey, that's _our_ English sky-mermaid-stalker girl!" the captain yelled, and dashed after them. "Get your own!"

Across the ship, Franky leaned out of the control room. "It's ready!" the shipwright hollered down at Nami. "The Coup de Burst!"

The navigator glanced as her Thunderbolt Tempo zapped the last group of intruding Marines over the rail. "Just in time! Let's get out of here!"

"Okay!" Franky ducked back inside the control room.

Just then, Nami heard Zoro shout across the deck: "Luffy? What are you _doing_?"

She knew that tone. The swordsman only used that tone when he spotted their captain about to do something stupid. She whirled. Two Navy soldiers were running towards the edge of the ship, the sky stalker shouting in protest as they dragged her along behind them. Luffy was running after them, an indignant look on his face.

Luffy running towards the rail. Impending Coup de Burst. Recipe for disaster.

"Luffy, _stop_!" the navigator shrieked.

Whether he didn't hear her or just chose to ignore her, the rubber man launched his arm across the distance between him and his target. Nami could only watch helplessly as Luffy's arm wound around the long-haired girl's waist. The Marines – halfway over the rail with their burden – were taken aback at the unexpected resistance and abruptly lost their grip, toppling over the edge with shouts of surprise. It would have been humorous… if the sky stalker hadn't lost her balance too.

"_Here we go_!" came Franky's flamboyant cry.

For some reason, there was a look of distress on Luffy's face. His arm wasn't stretching back! In fact, he was being pulled _forward_ by a weight that should have been insignificant; a strange, tightening sensation spread like wildfire up his arm. _What is this?_

"**COUP DE** –!"

Nami's eyes flashed back up to the control room. "No! Franky, wait–!"

The shipwright pulled the lever. "**BUUUUURST**!"

The Thousand Sunny lunged forward in a compressed jet of air, flying into the sky and leaving a fleet of gob smacked Navy ships in her wake. Luffy cried out frantically, his sandals skidding on the grassy deck; but still he did not let go.

"What's going on?" Luffy yelled. Suddenly, without warning, his arm lost all of its elasticity.

The straw-hatted boy slammed into the rail and flipped overboard.

* * *

Vera wished later that she had had some kind of epiphany, staring death in the face, personal enlightenment and all that stuff you hear about in books. But at that particular moment – falling from airplane height with the ocean rushing up at her at the speed of a truck – she could only think of one word to suit her predicament.

"**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH_**!"

If that was a word.

Suddenly, Vera heard someone rapidly approaching her from behind and echoing her sentiments at twice the volume. She didn't even have time to react to that. Because Luffy body-slammed into her, sending them both into a frantic, tumbling free-fall. At a glance, Vera wasn't surprised to see the rubber captain looked just as panicked as she did; they fumbled at each other for a moment, still screaming like banshees.

Then they hit the waves at a bruising diagonal. For a hundredth of a second, Vera flew through blistering air – absolutely no idea which way was up – then bounced off a warm body and splashed down into the open sea.

The water enveloped Vera in silence, weighing her down with a cold, heavy corona. It was surprisingly relaxing, and quiet… in comparison to the salty mayhem of moments before. The girl squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting her contacts to drift off.

_Sheesh, I'm just having a bad day, aren't I?_

Vera flailed her arms around, trying to find something – anything that might help her get her bearings. Ah, there was something. Her fingertip brushed it again, then crept closer until they could get a good grip.

The object was warm, and vaguely human-sized. Attracted to its heat, Vera brought it closer, feeling like an awkward starfish as she wrapped her limbs around the thing.

_A really bad day… _she pouted, feeling sorry for herself.

If her head hadn't been so muzzy, she would have felt it twitch under her.

* * *

As soon as Luffy had pitched overboard, the Strawhat crew exploded into action.

Nami shrieked orders. "Franky, cut the burst and double back! Usopp, get up to that crow's nest! Use your binoculars! Try to find where they hit!"

The sharpshooter saluted smartly. "Yes, sir!" He scrambled up the rigging.

"Sanji, be ready to dive!"

The Sunny crashed back into the ocean. Nami had to stop shouting for a moment to avoid biting her own tongue off. After the ship had settled, she continued: "And Chopper, be prepared to do CPR if necessary." The navigator rushed to the edge, wide eyes scouring the waves. "Luffy can take a fall like that, but we don't know about the other one."

"Yes…"

"Usopp, do you see anything?" Nami shouted up to the crow's nest.

The long-nosed man scrambled up the last of the rigging and snatched up his binoculars. "Just a second!" Usopp called. "Sheesh…"

He pressed them to his eyes, and froze.

Nami waited for what felt like a long time. "See anything _now_?"

No response.

"_USOPP_!"

* * *

Vera felt her head break the surface.

"Wha?" She coughed and gasped for air, clinging to her buoyant little lifeline as the waves bobbed up and down, smacking her face with salty spray. _Did I swim up here myself? _she wondered._ I don't _think_ I did. What's happening here?_

* * *

Usopp stared through his binoculars, mouth hanging open, utterly dumbstruck by the lies his eyes were telling him.

_I don't believe it. I __**can't **__believe it!_

"Don't make me come up there!" Nami's voice seemed to come from far, far away.

On deck, the navigator scowled fearsomely. "That moron!" she snarled. "Doesn't he realize lives are at stake here? _USO_–!"

Suddenly, Franky squinted at a distant disturbance in the waves.

"Hold on!" the shipwright shouted, distending a spyglass against his eye. "I think I see them…"

Abruptly, the cyborg choked himself off.

"Where?" Nami whirled. Suddenly, her eyes widened when she saw Franky trembling, gaping at what he saw through the spyglass. Cold sweat poured in buckets down his face, and his expression was that of pure, unadulterated _shock_.

"What _is_ it?" When Franky didn't respond, Nami snatched the spyglass from him and put it to her own eye. She scanned the waves, exasperated by their behavior. "Honestly, what has you guys so –?"

Then she saw it.

Luffy was swimming. _Swimming_.

Doggy-paddling, laughing like a moron with a grin bigger than his face and – of all people – the sky stalker, clinging to his back like a monkey. She seemed to be slightly dazed, but that was the extent of her expression.

As Nami gaped, Luffy turned his head towards the ship. He laughed and pointed, chattering something to the girl on his back – who just stared at him blankly – then began to swim for the Sunny in that short, clumsy stroke.

"S-Sanji?"

The cook turned, then gasped. "What is it, Nami-san?" he demanded. "What could possibly have happened to put such an expression on your lovely face?" The navigator tried to speak, but her voice broke. She swallowed and tried again.

"Change of plans…" Nami croaked.

**.oOo.**

Ten minutes later, the crew was hauling Luffy and his impromptu swimming buddy up the side of the ship.

Finally, the brim of a familiar straw hat came into view.

Luffy plopped his chin over the rail, laughing with pure, childish joy. "I haven't done that in _twelve years_!" he exclaimed as his crew pulled him back onto the deck. "Ahhh… so refreshing!"

"'Refreshing'?" Nami felt like tossing him back overboard. "_That's_ how you'd put it?"

Chopper started packing up his medical equipment. "It certainly was unexpected."

Nami's palm met her face for the second time that day. "Honestly!" she muttered. "What am I going to _do_ with you?"

"A better question would be…"

Robin's eyes flicked towards the soaked girl, who parted the curtain of chocolate hair that made her look like some kind of Sargasso monster. After a moment, she moaned at the state of her long, curling mane and proceeded to wring it out over the side of the ship. She didn't seem to be particularly concerned about anything else; despite nine infamous pirates staring at her like she had sprouted a third eye.

"…What are we going to do with _her_?"

* * *

Thirty minutes of heated foreignese deliberation –which she didn't even attempt to understand a single word of – and the longest, hottest shower of her life later, Vera found herself in new clothes and faced with a plain, unmarked wooden door.

She glanced at Robin, eyebrows raised.

The archeologist smiled and waved her forward. "Ni iku," the older woman reassured her. "Sore wa anzendesu."

Vera took a look at the rest of the Strawhats. Most of them were there, flanking her with stares that ranged from curious to suspicious to – in Luffy's case – ecstatic. A couple of them were missing, for what reasons she could only guess at. Nonetheless, she trusted Robin most at the moment.

So, she turned the knob, and pushed open the door.

On the other side was… a bedroom, of all things. A neat little eight by twelve room, constructed of warm wood planks. Still, it was too bare to be homey; the only piece of furniture in it was a singles bed, although the sheets, mattress, and pillow looked to be very comfortable. A sliding closet door was set into the wall, immediately to the left when she had walked in. She'd take a look at that later.

The bed – nestled close to the back wall – faced a round porthole. Vera took a quick glance around, then sidled over and looked through it.

"Oooo!" The window was set in the side of the Sunny, and had a lovely view of the sea and sky. It was fastened with a latch, though. Vera tugged at it; locked. She felt an odd surge of irritation. _Why lock it? The porthole isn't even wide enough to put my whole head through!_

_Now now_, Vange's voice of reason piped up. _At least they were nice enough to _give_ you an ocean view!_

Vera frowned. _True… _

_And they gave you very nice clothes!_

Vera sighed. Logic trumped selfishness every time. It was true, they _had_ given her some really cool clothes. Instead of her fifty-cent con shirt and capri jeans, now she wore a short sleeved, teal-and-white striped shirt with a neckline that scooped low over her collarbones and exposed her entire midriff. Nami also had given her a worn denim vest to wear over it. Vera's inner fangirl had squealed when she saw the Crimin designer label was stitched into its back. Still, it helped with the shirt; at least it wasn't as bad as her jeans. _Note to self_, Vera thought, self-consciously tugging them down a bit, _buy some biker shorts to wear under these_. They were practically booty shorts.

She scuffed a Converse-esque sneaker against the floor, examining it as she ignored a rush of foreignese whispers behind her.

* * *

"Hey, sea witch, are you sure this was a good idea?" Zoro muttered.

Nami dealt the swordsman a fearsome blow.

"OW! What the hell was that for?"

"We've gone over this!" she hissed at him, crossing her arms and looking back at the angel-girl, who was taking a sudden interest in her new shoes. "She has some kind of bizarre ability that can cancel out Luffy's Devil Fruit power! She could be a serious threat… and until we know more about her, she's staying right here. This way, if she _is_ working for someone, we can beat any boss that comes looking for her and then toss _her_ over the side."

"Nami-san is so ruthless!" Brook yodeled.

Luffy grinning. "Shishishishi! Well, I dunno about that, but I'm glad she's staying! Now I can go swimming whenever I want!"

"You're the one in the most danger here, you know!" Nami barked.

"Oh! That reminds me."

Luffy dug into his shorts. The crew leaned over, wondering what he was searching for. Suddenly, Luffy pulled out his curse doll; it was dripping wet and smelled like low tide, but otherwise seemed to be in decent condition. "Here we go!"

"_You had that in there this whole time?_"

"Yeah!" Luffy wrung out his lookalike a little bit, then offered it to the girl. "This is yours, right?"

She perked up at the sight of the plush toy.

"You're giving her _back_ that creepy thing?" Chopper exclaimed in disbelief.

"Why not?" Luffy asked, clueless as ever. The sky stalker pranced lightly across the room, smiling happily, her fingers twitching eagerly. "I trust her."

"Hora."

Vera took Chibi Luffy from him, all smiles. "Really? Wait, uh… Hontou ka?"

The boy nodded. "Nn!"

Vera threw her arms around him, ecsatic. "Arigatou!" she laughed, jumping up and down. She'd _always_ wanted to glomp somebody, but never had the courage to do it. "You're _awesome_! You're my new favorite."

Finally, she let go. Luffy was just smiling at her, as usual.

However, the rest of the Strawhats looked like they were about to catch flies. Even Robin looked a little taken aback. Oblivious to his nakama's reactions, Luffy stuck out his hand, grinning.

"Orewa Monkey D. Luffy!" he stated. "Yoroshiku!"

"_Kanojo wa anata ga daredearu ka o shitte iru_!" the crew yelled, exasperated with him.

Vera blinked at them, then looked back at Luffy; she smiled and shook his hand. "Orewa V-" She cut herself off. _Oh, wait, Eastern order. Surname comes first._

"Orewa Rosethorne Vera," she amended with a smile. "Yoroshiku!"

Inside, Vera fanspasmed, holding in her mad squeaks of otaku ecstasy. _You just shook hands with Monkey D. Luffy! _the inner fangirl shouted to the heavens._ I hope this hallucination lasts FOREVER!_

**.**

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry, my fanfiction ducklings, but I'm going to a week-long summer camp on the 22****nd**** with no access to a computer, so Chapter 4 might not be up for a bit. Nothing ridiculous, like a month or anything (the next chapter will be really fun to write). I shall return with updates as soon as I can!**

**Until then, reviews are appreciated! *blows kisses* Wait for me, my loyal readers!**


	4. Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Shaving Cream

**Well, I finished it early, so I decided to post it before I leave tomorrow. SO FUN TO WRITE. All right, dears, this is where the title starts making sense. I hope you love it as much as I do!**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

**Chapter 4:**

**Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Shaving Cream**

The remaining daylight hours passed like a dream, fading into night through blazing red twilight. A few sparse clouds gathered over the western horizon as the last waning sunbeams spun their farewell, then sank into the sea. By moonrise, a light drizzle was pattering against Vera's porthole. The speckling rain overlapped, sheeting over the tiny pane; distorting the black on black of clouded night sky and dark ocean waves. Inside the room, however, it was warm and silent.

_Fnrgrarglgurgle…_

"Shut _up_," Vera snarled at her midsection.

Her stomach seemed hellbent on ignoring her though, and complained again at an embarrassing volume, reminding her that the last thing she'd eaten was a box and a half of strawberry pocky at the con… God knows how long ago. Vera yawned and released Chibi Luffy to run her fingers through her tangled hair, feeling a little muzzy from her unfinished REM. Bleary-eyed, she took a slow look around her.

"Huh," she said aloud to the empty wooden cabin, "so I'm still here."

Vera had half been expecting to wake up in a hospital bed, with Vange next to her and pissed parents on the phone, just waiting to blow her ears out about the creepers and dangers of anime cons. How dead she was for having taken drugs. How many years she was going to be grounded, etc. But _apparently_, the paramedics still hadn't worked the crap out of her system.

_Oh well._ Vera yawned wide enough to put another hole in the ozone layer. _I wasn't looking forward to that talk anyway._

She smacked her lips. Her stomach growled again.

"Sheesh, you're loud!"

_Nurglefurgle._

Vera sighed. It was one of those times. She was having a craving for _those_.

"I wonder if I have enough time to make some, then get back to bed before anyone notices…" she murmured to herself.

She deliberated over it for a moment – then threw off her covers and set her feet on the floor. The air was warm; the silk shorts and tank top she'd found in her closet were perfect pajamas. Vera grabbed a hairband and pulled back her messy curls on the way to the door.

_What the heck. Why not?_

* * *

Meanwhile up in the crow's nest, the click of a lighter echoed across the drizzling rain. Sanji took a long draw on his cigarette and exhaled through his nose, watching twin trails of smoke curl up towards the low, malevolent clouds. A few rogue raindrops pattered against the cook's face; he recoiled, pulling his head deeper into the hood.

Annoyed, Sanji pursed his lips. _What a miserable night._

The blonde redirected his gaze back out onto the black expanse that was the ocean. The tip of his cigarette bobbed like a drunken firefly in the gloom. Sanji sighed in resignation; other than the lantern that lay by his feet, it could have been the only light on the Grand Line.

_At least I have company._

Sanji aimed a look at his watch partner. "Doin' okay, sexy bastard?" he grinned.

His little plush replica seemed to smirk right back at him from its place beside the lantern, sheltered from the rain. The candle's light flickered across its cocky felt face. Sanji could almost imagine it saying something back… and for a moment, he was a little scared it would.

But it didn't. Sanji sighed and leaned back against the wall.

_That girl… Rosethorne Vera._

He glanced at the doll in his peripherals, remembering the discussion the crew had had that afternoon in the galley:

**_Everyone sat around the kitchen table. Normally, this was a place of chaos and laughter during meals, and seldom inhabited otherwise; but now, every member of the crew sat there quietly. Sanji – even despite the fact that it was a lovely lady that was the cause of such tension – was sobered and nervous. Considering the possible ramifications of what they had just witnessed…_**

**_Nami-san reentered the room. "All right, she's in the shower," the navigator announced. "If she washes her hair like a human, we have at the very least an hour and a half. Now."_**

**_The navigator slammed her palms down on the table. "_What are we going to do?_"_**

**"_She stays with us, obviously!"_**

**_Everyone turned to gape at Luffy. Incredibly, of all the Strawhats, the captain was the least disturbed about what had happened; he was smiling, like inviting one's living weakness – and possibly a hostile celestial stalker – to live with them was the most obvious thing in the world._**

**_Sanji covered his face. "Luffy."_**

**_He turned. "What?"_**

**_On the other side of the table, Usopp gaped at his captain. "Luffy, she _took away_ your Devil Fruit power!" the sniper cried. He frantically looked at the others. "Have you guys ever heard of _anyone_ who could do that?" _**

**_Heads shook. The sniper flailed his arms at Luffy. "See?"_**

**_Suddenly, Robin-chan spoke up. "What exactly happened, Captain-san?" she asked, her voice surprisingly urgent. "What exactly did you _feel_? Tell us, was it as if you touched seastone?"_**

**_Luffy thought about that, seeming a bit confused himself. "Hmmmm… actually, no!" he responded. "I didn't feel weak, or anything! My arm just started tensing up, and tingling, and suddenly I couldn't stretch anymore! But I could swim, which was AWESOME!"_**

**"_Even if a Devil Fruit user is in contact with seastone, they still shouldn't be able to swim!" Franky exclaimed._**

**_Zoro scowled. Sanji had noticed the marimo was the tensest of them all. "That's stating the obvious, Franky, thanks."_**

**"_But you did swim." Robin-chan's fingers worried at the tablecloth; like it held the elusive solution to their predicament, and she could grasp it if she tried hard enough. "Unlike seastone, her touch did not just subdue your abilities. She actually reduced you to human."_**

**_Nami-san stared at the face of each nakama. "Has anyone else felt weird when they touched her?"_**

**_Franky, who had carried the girl all the way down to the brig, shook his head. "Nope."_**

**_Zoro, who had been bitten by, bounced on by, and tripped headlong over her, scowled even harder. "No."_**

**_Sanji figured his usual tinglies around women didn't count. "I guess not."_**

**"_I did, I think." _**

**_The crew all turned to Chopper; timidly raising one hoof. There was a sheepish look on his face. "When she hugged me, down in the infirmary," he added._**

**_Sanji, Franky, Usopp, and Brook's mouths dropped. _Don't tell me…**

**"_Chopper is experiencing ero-power for the first time?"_**

**"_IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF 'WEIRD!'" the reindeer yelled._**

**_Just as quickly, he adopted a pensive look. "Still… I don't know. I felt like I wanted to – eat grass. And run away. Oh, that was a big urge, to run away!"_**

**So… he was feeling like a reindeer.**

**_Usopp sighed. "Well, that's not nearly as interesting," Franky and Brook muttered, sounding bitterly disappointed. Sanji had to agree._**

**"_Perhaps it's all Devil Fruit powers, not just Captain-san's."_**

**"_WHAT?" Chopper sat straight up. "But that means she would affect Robin, me, and Brook, too!"_**

**"_But I ate the Resurrect Resurrect Fruit!" Brook started to panic. "She could kill me just by touching me!" Then he froze: "Oh, but I'm already dead. Yohoho–!"_**

**_Nami knocked him out to shut him up._**

**_Luffy pouted. "Well, that's not something we can know, is it? We'd have to test it!" he grinned, smelling victory. "Another reason she should stay!"_**

**_ "_Have you no sense of self-preservation at all?_"_**

**_ The next hour had been spent arguing, threatening, pleading, and cajoling with one another over the matter. Even Sanji had to admit the risks of her staying with them outweighed any possible benefits. But Luffy's mind was made up, and in the end, Nami lent the girl some clothes and they'd shown her to the guest room._**

Sanji frowned and looked up at the sky, a stress line forming between his curly eyebrows.

_It wasn't been an easy decision for any of us… _the cook thought to himself. _Except for that shitty rubber captain, who never thinks worth shit about anything_,

Then he sighed. _At least Chopper agreed to do some tests in the morning. We'll know more after those._

All of a sudden, Sanji realized his back had slid all the way down the wall while he had been thinking. Now his chin was tucked into his chest at a strangling angle; the cook muttered a quiet curse and squirmed back into an upright position. But as he did, something caught his eye.

The lights were on in the kitchen.

Sanji snarled. _Luffy! _

He snatched up his little doll replica and stuffed it into a pocket, grabbing the lantern with his other hand as he vaulted over the side of the crow's nest. _Trying to steal food in the middle of the night again, _Sanji thought wrathfully as he fell between the raindrops. _I am going to __**kill**__ him!_

The cook landed with less noise than a cat, raised a leg, and slammed the door open; ready to beat that stupid rubber face of his in.

"_**LUFFY!**_"

Vera squealed and threw up her spatula in surrender.

Sanji stiffened. _Oh shit!_

The cook went still, his body frozen in mid-kick. His eyes traveled up and down her form, a blush creeping over his cheeks as he noticed her clothes – or lack of them, with her voluptuous body clad in only skimpy silk shorts and a tank top. Her long, long hair was a tangled mess, hastily pulled back into a ponytail that just grazed her trembling…

Oh, god.

Sanji averted his eyes. "Uh, shit. Sorry. Thought you were somebody else."

The sky girl – no, Vera – seemed to realize she was not under attack and slowly turned her head. Her eyes were so _big_.

_Do not gaze upon this infidel~! _Sanji groveled on the inside, a hurricane of butterflies battering against the walls of his stomach._ Such a beautiful goddess deserves to look upon better!_

Then he caught himself. _NO! Get ahold of yourself, Sanji! This girl could be an avenging angel, or a bloodthirsty mercenary…_

Sanji risked another peek.

* * *

Vera glanced down at her chest, realizing with a start that Sanji's surprise entrance had _surprised_ her girls. And she wasn't wearing a bra. Mortified, she clasped her arms over her headlights.

Unfortunately, that caused an abrupt increase in cleavage.

* * *

The hot, overwhelming pressure in his sinuses indicated an impending nosebleed._ OH, that is one SEXY lady! _

Sanji turned and bashed his head against the wall, attempting to get a hold on his racing fantasies as the girl darted across the kitchen and grabbed an apron. _You bastard cook! _he scolded himself. _ You're so __**weak**__! Get ahold of yourself!_

The blonde stayed in that position for a few seconds, giving the Rosethorne girl enough time to get her apron on.

"Okay. Uh, Sanji?"

Sanji jumped slightly; he'd already known that she knew all their names, but it was still a shock to hear his name when he had yet to introduce himself. The cook turned, bowing his head humbly: "I am very sorry for intruding!"

"Ah… um…"

Sanji looked up. Vera was waving her hands, looking flustered with herself.

_Oh, right! _He bowed his head again. "I am very sorry for forgetting you don't speak the same language!"

* * *

Vera felt herself getting increasingly embarrassed and frustrated. _I know he's apologizing, but what the heck was that last bit? _What was "it's okay" again?

"Daijobu…?"

* * *

Sanji looked up, eyebrow raised. "Ah, yes, I'm fine."

_Am I okay?_ _Why would she ask that in this situation? _he wondered, watching the Rosethorne girl scratch her head in frustration.

Suddenly, she seemed to remember something. "Oh!"

Sanji watched, curious, as that tousled brown ponytail quickly crossed back towards the stove. _Is she cooking something? _

That's when he noticed that in a few place, the counter was dusted with flour. The cook's eyebrow raised a little more as his gaze followed the tiny white patches, noticing other things along the way; the butter and milk were also out, and an empty eggshell had been placed on a napkin in preparation to be thrown away. Sanji flicked his gaze over to the girl's back. She was watching something sizzling in a pan, twisting and turning with cute impatience, fiddling with the handle of his spatula.

Finally, Sanji's curiosity got the better of him.

He wandered over and peeked over her shoulder, although he already had an idea of what she was cooking.

_Pancakes, huh?_

Sure enough, the fluffy brown cakes stared up at him, sizzling innocently in a light layer of butter and studded with dark brown spots.

_Wait, what?_ Sanji glanced at the open jar on the counter. Ah… chocolate chip pancakes, then. Sanji felt a little cheated; he'd never made them before. Obviously, it was something that had occurred to him, as a cook – but Luffy and _chocolate_? God forbid.

The Rosethorne girl, on the other hand, either didn't notice his scrutiny or didn't care. She maneuvered the spatula under one of her creations and peeked at the underside. Apparently, she gauged it to be done. She quickly moved it to a plate waiting on the counter. When the other pancakes had joined it, she picked up the plate, and sat down at the table.

She clapped her hands together. "Let's eat!" Then she began to eat, making happy noises as she munched on her midnight snack.

Sanji just stared at her for a moment, entranced. _She looks so… content._

Drip.

"Hm?"

Sanji glanced down. "Oh, damn!" he swore, looking at the puddle of rainwater he was standing in. The cook quickly shrugged out of his dripping raincoat, hung it on a peg, and looked for something to mop up the water.

He heard Vera chuckle. She smiled, looking amused, and pointed at the mop in the corner.

Sanji felt stupid. "Oh, yeah."

A few minutes passed in relaxed silence as Vera ate her pancakes and Sanji mopped the floor.

By the time all the water was mopped up, his cigarette had burned down almost to the filter. Sanji propped the mop up against the wall and plucked it from his lips. With light, efficient steps, he rounded the table, sitting down across from the tousled brunette; he stubbed out the burnt down cancer stick in the ashtray on the table. Vera let out an exaggerated breath through her nose. Still, she would not be distracted from her chocolate-studded snack.

_She doesn't seem all that hostile, _Sanji thought to himself. He watched her eat for a few more seconds.

_Sheesh, she sounds like she's eating ambrosia!_

He scrutinized the misshapen pancakes this girl seemed to enjoy so much; they certainly didn't _look_ like food of the gods. Actually, they looked a little overdone. _What makes them so special? Did she add some kind of secret ingredient, or something?_

His cook's interest piqued. _Now I'm curious._

Suddenly, Vera set down her fork and let out a sigh of relief. There was still one left on the plate.

_No since wasting food, right?_

Sanji gestured at the last pancake. "May I?"

Vera blinked at him. The cook pointed to the last pancake, to himself, and back. "May I try?" he repeated.

"_Oh_!" It was almost entertaining, watching the light bulb go off in the girl's head. "Yes, yes." She pushed the plate over to Sanji; he went to go get a fork and knife for himself. When he sat back down, Sanji could feel her eyes on him. Trying to ignore her imploring gaze, he cut off a bit.

He took a bite.

Sanji chewed slowly, letting the taste roll over his delicate palate. _A bit dry_, he thought.

He took another bite. This one had chocolate chip in it. _Batter could have stood a little more beating_, Sanji noted. Still, the chocolate chips were warm, liquid, and lovely on his tongue, and contrasted nicely with the dry fluffiness of the pancake itself. Sanji swallowed, then took another bite. _An acquired taste_, he decided.

Overall, it wasn't bad… but it wasn't five-star cuisine, either. It was honest, and homemade.

It was just a slightly overdone chocolate chip pancake.

Suddenly, Sanji blinked at the sound of fork hitting china. He looked down at his plate, and was surprised to find it empty.

Hearing a chuckle, Sanji glanced at Vera. The girl was resting her head on her arms, gazing coyly up at him from under her lashes, as if she had heard his critique from where she sat and knew something he didn't. The cook was still a bit undecided, himself.

"Why these for a midnight snack?" Sanji asked. At first glance, he would have figured Rosethorne Vera for a piece-of-fruit type of snacker.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Huh?"

Sanji tapped the plate with his fork. "Why pancakes?"

"Oh. Um…" She appeared to ponder that, then said two words in reply. Sanji waited.

Vera rolled her eyes; she hugged herself and repeated the first word. Then she pointed at the plate. "Food."

Sanji was confused. _Hug food? _

Then he got it. _Oh, comfort food! _He nodded frantically to show he understood. "Comfort food!"

Vera cocked her head. "'_Comfort_… _food'_?"

"Comfort food."

"Comfort food." Vera repeated it a few times, shaping her lips around the new phrase. "Comfort food, comfort food."

_SO ADORABLE! _Sanji went bright red and covered his face, in an attempt to shield himself from her unbelievable cuteness. _How could I have _ever_ thought that she could be dangerous? It shows that I still have so much to learn about women! Perhaps…_

_Perhaps God sent this woman to me! To educate me in her feminine wiles! To challenge me with such a formidable barrier as language itself! To temper my erotic tendencies in the arduous flame of the human condition!_

_As a man… _

Sanji planted a foot on the tabletop, fist clenched towards the heavens as the fires of passion engulfed him.

_**God, as a man… I accept your challenge!**_ Sanji exploded.

Meanwhile, Vera sighed, not taken aback by the cook's bizarre behavior at all. Any more intense and he'd transform; she'd seen it before. She smacked her lips, and suddenly asked him a question.

Sanji extinguished his flame for a moment, looking at her. "Hah?"

Vera sighed, then repeated her question.

"My first challenge!" Sanji enthused. "What is it, my angel of ardor?"

He leaned over, giving the girl his undivided attention. She positioned her hand as if holding a cylindrical object, then pointed the invisible object at a downward angle. She then traced a spiral pattern, making squirting noises.

Sanji eyes widened. _Whipped cream! _

"I shall fetch it!" The cook swooned, and dashed away in a flurry of hearts. Seconds later, he was offering her a can of the sweet topping. "Please," he said, bowing low as Vera accepted his offering, "have _all_ you like."

With half-lidded eyes, she shook it up, popped off the top, and sprayed a little into her mouth. A moment passed, her tongue working sleepily around the whipped cream. "Mmm," she murmured. "Yummy…"

She swallowed. Sanji smiled up at her, eyes craving approval.

But suddenly, Vera blinked. She turned her head, staring for a long moment at the product in her hand.

"What's wrong?" Sanji asked.

A huge, wicked grin suddenly spread across Vera's face. The cook was taken aback at the unexpected transformation of a ruffled, drowsy angel into the most notorious imp. _What is that look? _Sanji wondered nervously. A thrill of fear ran its flighty fingers up his spine. _Did I do something?_

Vera started to get up, but suddenly stopped and seemed to reconsider something.

Just as quickly, the grin returned. She handed the whipped cream back to Sanji; he took it, thoroughly confused. The cook watched, baffled, as she disappeared down the hall.

He hesitated, then put the can away and followed her.

Vera bobbed and weaved along the dark hallway, opening a door on occasion, only to shut it just as quickly with a disappointed look. Finally, she got to the bathroom; when she opened the door, her eyes lit up. Vera darted inside.

Sanji heard her rummaging around in in cupboard._ What is she __**doing**__? _

Suddenly, the noises stopped.

She came out with a can of shaving cream, impish smile restored. "Heh heh heh heh heh!" she snickered wickedly, and resumed her passage down the hall.

Sanji saw her enter the men's quarters.

_Wait, the men's quarters?_ He practically sprinted after her. _What the hell is she going to do with shaving cream?_

Sanji dashed through the doorway, reinforced soles bringing him to an awkward stop in the center of the room. He spotted Vera's form crouched next to Zoro's bunk. Squirting noises met his ears; Sanji blinked rapidly, trying to make his eyes adjust.

Luffy sat up in his hammock. "Hah… whaz goin' on?"

Sanji smacked a hand over the rubber idiot's mouth. Ignoring his captain's muffled protests, the cook's eyes trained on Vera's activity in the corner. Eventually Luffy followed his gaze, and raised an eyebrow as well: "Mrm?"

"Shh!"

Finally, Vera backed away. Sanji saw that – to his shock and delight – that she had filled the swordsman's hand with a great mountain of shaving cream. The brunette plucked a feather from his pillow, a devilish light in her eyes. Luffy and Sanji realized what she was doing at the exact same time.

Both men tried to smother their mad giggles as Vera reached over – very carefully – and dusted the marimo's nose with her feather.

Zoro snorted, his brow scrunching, and waved around his face with his unsprayed hand; warding off a fly in his sleep. _Awwwww! _Their faces fell.

Sanji looked at Vera. _What'll she do now?_

In answer to his unspoken question, the girl scowled and stuck the feather all the way up into Zoro's nose. The swordsman's sabotaged hand came up, and with surprising force, delivered the massive pile of white goo straight into his face.

**SHWACK.**

Shaving cream flew _everywhere_.

Vera threw her hands up in the air, her mouth opening in a silent victory cry, and fled the room in the wake of her glorious triumph.

Zoro blinked drowsily.

"Shwack…?" he muttered in confusion, rubbing his face again. _What the hell was that…?_

Stifled giggles drew his attention to Luffy and the shit cook; their faces were positively scarlet from the force of restrained laughter.

"What's wrong with you two?" Zoro demanded.

They took one look at his face and turned the color of radishes. Luffy stuffed his entire fist in his mouth, giggling madly. The curly-brow actually had to turn and smack his head against the wall to keep his composure. "N-Nothing!" Zoro rolled, his eyes, about to sign it off to the blonde's chronic mental retardation.

Then he noticed something on his hand.

And on his face. And all over his bunk. And in his…

Zoro sat up violently. "WHY THE HELL IS A FEATHER IN MY NOSE?"

Luffy fell out of his bunk and rolled across the cabin in a fit of hysterics. Sanji lost it. He burst out laughing, blinded with tears of mirth as he clutched at his aching stomach.

Zoro grabbed Luffy by the front of his pajamas. "Luffy, you better not be responsible for this!"

"I didn't do it!" the captain gasped.

The swordsman released the rubber man as he dissolved into giggles. "Shit cook?"

Sanji couldn't even answer. "Oh, _oh_… _AHAHAHA_!"

Disturbed from their sleep, the other male crewmembers turned grumpily towards their noisy nakama. "What's the matter with you guys?" Usopp demanded groggily. "It's the middle of the… Zoro, what the heck are you doing? You're supposed to shave in the bathroom, not in the bedroom."

The marimo whirled, irately assuring Usopp he was well aware of this fact.

Meanwhile, Sanji had collapsed as well, joining his captain in rolling around on the floor. _I like that girl! _the cook decided. It had only been one day since she came aboard the Sunny and already she had done the impossible; pulled one over on the marimo. By week's end, what other crazy stunts would she pull?

Sanji felt a thrill… this one of excitement. _I cannot __**wait**__ until morning!_

**.**

* * *

**_ROFL, I LOVE IT! _ Anyway, ****I'll start working on Chapter 5 when I get back on the 30th! *****blows kisses* See you then! =3**


	5. And So The Testing Begins

**Ugh! Sorry about the delayed update; with some family drama, a week-long beach trip I forgot about, and school starting soon, it all made for one murderous update delay. But if it helps… it's really long. =)**

**So now I present… ***_**drumroll**_*** Chapter 5! ***_**cymbals**_*** **

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 5:**

**And So The Testing Begins**

Morning came hot as blazes the next day. The sun beat mercilessly down on Sunny, heating the surfaces of her Adam's wood to such an intensity Sanji could have fried eggs on the foredeck. Bacon, too; any crew member that was brave enough to sit down outside was greeted with a painful sizzling on their hindquarters and sent scrambling for shade. On sentry duty, Usopp had been the first to break out the sunscreen. The rest of the crew followed suit. Either that, or they hid in the cool shelter of the kitchen, although none of them had appetite for anything more than shaved ice.

Nami drummed her fingers on the kitchen table, glaring impatiently at the ceiling. She was bored. The heat made her irritable, and the fact that her tangerine trees were wilting under the sun's merciless barrage didn't help in the slightest.

"Weren't the tests supposed to start at eight?" she growled, her expression like a thunder god's.

The only answer she got was in the form of several tired sighs. Luffy, Chopper, and Brook lay lifelessly on the cool wooden floor, taking turns fanning themselves while Zoro nodded off in the shadiest corner; the swordsman had cast off every article of clothing but his pants, haramaki, and earrings. All of them were sweating profusely. Robin, clad in sandals and a tiny, practically translucent summer dress, sat across from Nami, reading a book. Even Sanji – who highly valued his sharp, snappy appearance – had peeled off his suit jacket and undone a few buttons.

The silence was deafening. A fly flew in through a porthole and buzzed around the ceiling.

Suddenly, Nami smacked her fists down on the table. Everyone jumped. "It's past ten o' clock!" the navigator shrieked. "When is that girl going toget her _ass_ out of bed?!"

Sanji smirked. "Well, she did have a…" he smirked, shooting a glance at Zoro, "_late_ night."

Luffy snorted. The sleeping swordsman didn't even twitch.

Nami gazed flatly at them; she could only guess what that meant. "You know what? Whatever." The irritable navigator put her head in her hands. "I'm tired of waiting. Somebody just go wake her up!"

"Absolutely not!" Brook quailed.

"Nuh-uh!" Chopper squealed.

"I'd prefer not," Robin refused gently.

"No way!" Luffy looked appalled. "Do it yourself!"

Nami gaped at them. "What?! _I'm_ not waking that monster up! She could do something weird and otherworldly to me!"

"So it's okay if one of _us_ does it?"

Nami looked at her crewmates, as if it were totally obvious. "Of course."

"YOU'RE THE MONSTER!" they shrieked.

Suddenly, Sanji caught on fire, a maniac light in his visible right eye. "I will do it!" the cook announced. "So, this is my second test from God…" Sanji spun happily about the kitchen, assembling a light, beautiful breakfast-in-bed with slices of watermelon and kiwi, frothy scrambled eggs, and a virgin tropical drink. "The perfect wake-up call!"

The cook glided out the door, trailing hearts. "Wish me luck!"

The crew raised their hands in mournful farewell. "_Good luck_…"

Tray in hand, Sanji skipped merrily down the hall towards Vera's room, his head filled with thoughts of the beautiful brunette. He had been having a weird craving all morning. Maybe this was the solution!

"Ah, sweet Vera-chan~!" he sang. "My heart flutters in anticipation of the moment my eyes will grace your sleeping form! I shall wake you with a kiss, and then deliver my breakfast of love to your lovely mouth, bite by bite!"

He could almost see it now…

_Like Snow White, she rose gracefully and beautifully to meet him. She tucked a perfectly tousled curl just so behind her ear, and gazing at the cook with chocolate eyes softened by a peaceful sleep._

"_Oh, you made this for me? It looks delicious."_

_He offered her a bite of the fruit, smiling gently. "I assure you, my angel, it tastes even better."_

_Vera's soft lips curved up mischievously. She crawled towards him on all fours, the straps of her tank top slipping off her shoulders. "I wasn't talking about the fruit…" she murmured, running her tongue across her mouth. "Sanji."_

Something exploded in Sanji's brain.

Wiping away a trickle of blood from his nose, the cook giggled a little to himself and knocked on Vera's door. "Vera-chan!" he sang quietly. "It's time to get up, my angel."

There was no response. Sanji waited a moment more, then pushed open the door with his hip and entered as silently as he could. The air was stagnant and warm, smelling of sleep. Dust motes floated, illuminated in stunning, bright white relief in the only source of light; a bright beam of sunshine that glared through the room's porthole. A shapeless lump bulged under the bed's covers, barely visible in the gloom.

Sanji tiptoed over to it. "Vera-chan, good morning…" he whispered, smiling.

No response.

"I have breakfast for you!" he tempted. "Do you want some?"

"…_Mmmrawr_…"

A sleepy growl issued from beneath the covers.

Sanji swooned. _**So cute!**_

He set the breakfast tray where her lap would be. "Come on, rise and shine," the blonde whispered again, gently shaking what he thought was her shoulder. "It's ten o' clock. Do you want breakfast? It's yummy! I think you'll like it! Vera-chan."

Sanji pulled at the covers, revealing her sleeping face to the caress of the sun. "Vera-chaaaaan… _**DAH**_!"

Suddenly, the cook flailed and scrambled back. Instead of Vera-chan's lovely, tousled head, a pair of _feet_ rested on her pillow. As he watched, the toes curled. There was a small groan of displeasure, and they retracted back under the covers; jerkily, as if pulled by some kind of ratchet.

Sanji blinked. "Whoa." _That was certainly unexpected._

Suddenly, a monster popped up from underneath the blankets.

The blonde nearly jumped out of his pants. A clawed hand reached out to him as a deep, feminine voice grated in the language of Hell. Now, Sanji had seen a lot of scary things in his time on this earth… but this creature was a whole different level of shit. The man could barely stand his ground, quivering like – well, Usopp – as the unspeakable mass of wild, tangled hair, clouded eyes, and evil aura rose from its dark domain. But as he listened, Sanji understood one word that it spoke.

"Sanji…?"

He took a hesitant step forward, squinting to see the monster's face. "V-_Vera-chan_?"

* * *

Vera groaned, smoothing most of the rogue hair away from her face and rubbing at her eyes with the other hand. She exhaled slowly and scratched her head. "Mom always said I looked like a monster in the morning. All this stupid hair of mine. Looks like the freakin' Grudge, doesn't it?"

The person in front of her trembled slightly.

Vera yawned again. "Oh, right. You no understand what Vera say." She attempted a sleepy smile at him; it felt more like a grimace. "Ohayo, Sanji-kun."

The blonde still looked a little scared. "Ohayo…Vera-chan."

"Now please go away. I'm tired," she grouched, going to pull the covers back over her head. _Sheesh, how'd my feet get on the pillow?_

Suddenly, something clinked on her lap. Vera looked down, wondering what would make such a noise – and suddenly brightened at the sight of an elegant tray, piled high with the most aesthetic, delicious looking food she had ever seen. The crystal and china twinkled merrily at her… and even though Vera was usually incorrigible in the morning, the girl found herself smiling with joy.

"Sanji!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. Sanji went all mushy. "You made me breakfast in bed? You sweet baka!"

Suddenly, she pulled back a few inches. The man's shirt was partially open, top buttons undone to show off his hard pectorals and long, swanlike neck. Vera reached up a little to play with his collar, fully enjoying the view; Sanji's face was priceless as she took her time, fingers playing along his throat and collarbones.

_Man_ _candy_. Vera grinned. _Now _that's_ a nice wake up call._

"Arigatou, San. Ji. _Kun_." She released him and turned away, picking up the fork. "I'll enjoy!"

The cook's spine seemed to dissolve, his knees weakening into liquid jelly. Somehow, Vera managed to ignore him as he faceplanted, bright red, into her floor; instead, she focused on the light, pretty, delicious meal before her. This was going to be so_ yummy!_

She clapped her hands together."Itadakimasu!"

Vera stabbed a bit of kiwi and placed it in her mouth, munching happily.

_Wow, I didn't know plain old fruit slices could taste like this! Yum! _She chewed, swallowed, and took another bite, chewing on that as she mentally planned her agenda. _I guess after this, I'll take a shower – sheesh, beautiful hair is pain and impatience. After that… brush my teeth, brush my hair, then explore that new closet of mine! _

Vera took a sip of her drink, smiling, as the incredible flavors bloomed over her tongue. _Mmmmm… yum! Today's gonna be awesome!_

* * *

**.oOo.**

"All right, everybody! I'm ready!"

Clad in swim trunks and not much else, Luffy threw up his arms; massive grin bright with childish anticipation. "Let's do these nests!"

"That's _tests_, Captain-san," Robin corrected him from her shady seat under the tangerine groves.

The archeologist was on standby with her position as unofficial translator. Along with Chopper, the director of these experiments, and Luffy, their primary guinea pig – she would be the most active part of the tests, while the rest of the crew kept to the sidelines. After all, there was a very likely chance that something would go wrong.

Chopper knew it as well as any of them. The reindeer man nervously organized and reorganized his medical supplies, occasionally moving the bag to a different spot – each time claiming that he would be able to get to it faster there. It didn't help that he'd found Sanji unconscious in Vera's room. As soon as he had woken up, the cook had suffered a massive nasal hemorrhage that landed him in Chopper's infirmary. That was where he was now, sleeping; and occasionally squeaking and writhing in a provocative manner. No one knew what the sky girl had done to Sanji… but now they weren't taking any more chances with their nakama.

After he had moved his bag for the umpteenth time, Chopper whipped to face Nami. "When is she coming?!" The poor creature's fur was dripping with sweat. "It's damn _sweltering_ out here! I just want to get this _over_ with!"

Then, as if on cue, the door slammed open. Chopper squealed in terror and dove for the shelter of Nami's legs.

Oblivious to her audience, Vera walked out into the sunshine; she immediately reacted to the temperature. The girl lifted her heavy ponytail off her neck, panting and fanning herself as she groaned an exclamation.

Brook – sipping cold milk in the shade – looked curious as a skeleton could be. "What did she say?"

Robin smirked. "I'm guessing 'it's hot.'"

"Ah…" The musician couldn't help but feel a bit stupid.

Luffy grinned even wider, if that was remotely possible. "Yup! It's hot! So let's go _swimming_~!" With that, he ran over to Vera and slung her over his shoulder, laughing as he toted the surprised-looking girl to the side of the ship.

Nami knocked him flat with a fist to the cranium. "YOU DUMBASS!" the navigator shrieked. "Get some tact!"

"What's that?"

Luffy pouted, paying no heed to the lump swelling underneath his hair as Nami attempted to explain to him why he couldn't just sling a woman over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and jump overboard. Vera – who had found herself with a pirate for a perch – just blinked at the bickering pair for a moment, then sighed and adopted a resigned expression; like she was used to it.

Zoro glowered at her through his good eye as Robin closed her book and approached, kneeling to the brunette's eye level and speaking in an unfamiliar language; probably explaining the purpose of the tests as best she could. Vera raised an eyebrow, then shrugged as if to say "Whatever toots your horn."

Zoro scowled. Her interaction with his nakama was far too familiar. It was unsettling… he didn't like it. And even _Robin_ was buying it! That woman was infamous for her ability to sense trouble a mile away, yet she was acting like this _stranger_ was their freakin' messiah. The swordsman didn't think he could be any more on edge.

He was wrong.

Suddenly, Vera pulled something out of her pocket, absently toying with its little plush limbs while Robin spoke to her.

Zoro choked. It was the little ero-cook doll.

Suddenly, the swordsman's own plush replica – hidden in the pocket of his haramaki – felt like it weighed several tons. Normally, the phrase was used as hyperbole… but with Zoro's workouts, two thousand pounds was a good-sized dumbbell. And the Santoryuu swordsman felt like he'd been socked in the gut with one of his weights as his mind scrambled to process the sight in front of him.

Only one possibility presented itself to him. _Since the shit cook didn't give it to her out of free will like my_ idiot _captain, she incapacitated him with her feminine charms and stole it while he was unconscious!_

If that was the case, it would explain a lot of things.

"All right, let's start," Chopper stated, readying a pen and notepad to write down his results. "First, we're going to test what kind of range… Vera-dono's power… has." The doctor pointed with his writing utensil. "Luffy, you're over there. Robin? Tell her to stand next to him?"

"Yes, Doctor-san."

Zoro's face darkened as Robin relayed the message, then guided Vera to the spot beside their captain. Luffy moaned like a small child, complaining about the heat and pestering about when they could go swimming; Chopper snapped something about after lunch, then ordered him to try stretching. Luffy whined again, but obliged.

"There appears to be no effect on Luffy at that range," Chopper observed. He wrote it down. "All right, now tell her to put a hand on his shoulder, but nothing else. Okay, Robin?"

"Yes, Doctor-san."

The archeologist translated the direction, touching Luffy's shoulder, then gesturing for Vera to do the same.

The younger woman stared incredulously at her. "Really?" she asked.

Robin nodded. Zoro's eyes narrowed as Vera turned, her gaze becoming increasingly appreciative as she took in Luffy's naked torso. He had been sweating because of the heat, and his bronzed, well-defined muscles gleamed like they'd been rubbed down with oil. But she didn't seem to mind… in fact, a smile crept over her lips as she reached out, her fingers taking their time running across the defined muscles of his back and right arm on their journey to his shoulder.

Zoro's face darkened._ Luffy may trust her,_ the swordsman thought. _But I don't. _

Luffy's neck bent backward, biting his lip in an unsuccessful attempt to keep from smiling at that wandering touch. "Stop it!" he giggled. "Hee hee! Quit it! That tickles!"

Without warning, Vera turned bright pink and erupted in the most unsettling giggles Zoro had ever heard. The way she turned her head, biting her lip, raising a half-clenched fist to her mouth in an attempt to smother the sound; the swordsman could almost see her dirty thoughts.

Zoro's eyes went round. _Okay, _he remedied, cringing. _And maybe she's just a pervert._

Suddenly, Vera's gaze had traveled across the deck and – before he could react – landed on him. Her eyes wandered appreciatively across his torso, too. A humiliating warmness spread across his face. Zoro found himself fervently wishing he'd left his shirt _on_ despite the heat.

That's when she glanced downward… and spotted the little face peeking out of his haramaki.

Zoro choked and fell over.

Luffy glanced around. "What's wrong, Ver–?"

Dense as the rubber captain was, Luffy cut himself off at the sight of the fearsome, bruise-black aura that made Vera's hair flare up like a welding torch, transforming her into a creature of pure, dark wrath at least twice the size of a normal human. Chopper's jaw hit the deck at the same time as his pen. Sweat that had nothing to do with the heat dripped down Robin's back. The rest of the Strawhats pressed into their corners, trying to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible to the beam of pure malevolence that had frozen Zoro – petrified – to the grass.

She held out her hand. Zoro's eyes widened.

_She wants it back!_

There was only one thing to do.

"You can have this doll back over my _dead body_!" the swordsman roared. Then he shot her the bird, and ran like hell.

Robin watched him go. He was much faster than she would have thought.

"Swordsman-san...?"

Then she looked back at Vera. To her surprise, the girl hadn't moved an inch; she was leaning casually on Luffy's shoulder, the other hand on her hip as she pushed out her lips in a childish pout. After a moment, she turned to Luffy and smirked, saying something as she jerked her thumb after Zoro. Robin caught the words "marimo," "Sunny," and…

_What is "GPS?"_ she wondered.

After pondering that for a few moments, the archeologist shrugged and decided it was irrelevant. "Well, that was rather strange," she said, breaking the tense silence. "But we should proceed nonetheless. Doctor-san?"

Chopper still looked a little scared, but nodded. "I guess you're right, Robin." He brandished his pen at Luffy. "Okay, Luffy! Try stretching!"

"Oh. Uh, okay!"

* * *

_Two hours later…_

Vera sighed.

_This was a fangirl's dream in the beginning, but just how long are we going to keep doing this?_ she wondered. _It's too_ hot…

Panting, she took one hand from around Luffy's neck and fanned herself with it. Right now, she was clinging onto the rubber man like a monkey, feeling like her brain was being bounced into scrambled eggs as she rode Luffy piggy-back around the deck. Every once in a while, Chopper would call out, and her steed would fling his arm in one direction, then another. Why he wasn't stretching, Vera could only guess.

Not that she really cared anymore. It was far too hot for these kinds of antics. So, she was barely taken by surprise when Luffy collapsed under her, his tongue lolling out on the deck. "Uetaaaaaa…" he whined.

Vera rubbed her own grumbling stomach. "I concur," she muttered.

They cried out in unison: "_Sanjiiii_! _MESHIIII_!"

* * *

"Amazing…" Brook marveled in spite of himself. "They're already on the same wavelength."

Nami, on the other hand, sighed tiredly. "Someone go get Sanji," she commanded. "It's almost lunchtime anyway." As Franky quickly went to wake the cook, the pretty navigator glanced over at Chopper, resting her cheek in her hand.

"So, great doctor of ours, what have we discovered about this girl's mystery power?"

"Calling me a great doctor isn't gonna make me tell you any faster!"

The look on Chopper's face said differently. Nonetheless, the reindeer flipped through the stack of paper that had been accumulating on his clipboard for the past two hours. "Well," he began, "at the end of every conceivable test with Luffy's Gum-Gum powers that I could think of, the results are mixed…"

"'Mixed?'"

Chopper nodded. "Yes, mixed." He looked back at his papers. "It appears that for there to be any noticeable effect on Luffy's abilities, Vera has to be in direct physical contact with him. But it has to be sustained for at least a couple seconds; tapping her on the shoulder or accidentally bumping into her won't trigger it. The contact also has to be over the moderately large surface area," he continued. "Whether it's clothing or skin-to-skin, there appears to be no significant difference. Her torso and head, however, seem to have more of an effect."

"Whoah, hold on!" Usopp held up his hand. "Time out. You keep talking about this 'effect.' Did you find out what that _is_, exactly?"

Chopper flipped back to a certain page.

"'Hypothesis,'" he read, "'prolonged physical contact with Rosethorne Vera will completely nullify the effects of eating Gum-Gum Devil Fruit…"

"Yeah, we _knew_ that already!" Usopp butted in. "But what –?!"

"Quit talking and let me finish, ya long-nosed bastard!" Chopper snapped. The sniper shut his mouth, looking sheepish.

The little doctor cleared his throat and started again. "'Hypothesis: prolonged physical contact with Rosethorne Vera will completely nullify the effects of eating Gum-Gum Devil Fruit… _as well as_ reduce the subject's physical capabilities to average human levels.'"

Usopp and Luffy stared at him blankly.

"…Huh?"

"_SHE TAKES AWAY YOUR FREAKISH SUPER STRENGTH_!" Chopper shouted, flailing his hooves about in frustration. "Is that _simple_ enough for you _morons_?!"

* * *

"WAAAAAAUGH!"

Vera nearly jumped out of her skin when Usopp and Luffy randomly screamed bloody murder at her. She glanced at them weirdly. _Did I miss something here?_

* * *

Chopper looked ready to smack the living daylights out of them both. "Looks like it _was_!"

"Doctor-san."

"Hah?" Distracted from his still-screaming, significantly less intelligent crewmates, Chopper turned towards Robin.

The older woman seemed intrigued. "You included that concept in your hypothesis from the beginning. For what reason, may I ask?"

"Well, I guess you could say I had a hunch! After Luffy described his symptoms to us last night, I thought it was a little weird the way he phrased it. Normally a hundred and thirty-odd pounds – even in free fall and with the force of a Coup de Burst against him – would be barely an afterthought to someone with Luffy's freakish superhuman strength. He said outright that he hadn't _felt_ weak, yet _she_ pulled _him_ overboard?" The reindeer man shrugged. "It was the only possibility that made sense."

Robin thought back on that conversation.

**"_What exactly happened, Captain-san?" she had asked. "What exactly did you feel? Tell us, was it as if you touched seastone?"_**

**_Luffy thought about that, seeming a bit confused himself. _****"_Hmmmm… actually, no!" he responded. "I didn't feel weak, or anything! My arm just started tensing up, and tingling, and suddenly I couldn't stretch anymore! But I could swim, which was AWESOME!"_**

The archeologist smiled. "And I asked the question myself. You are very clever, Doctor-san. I didn't even think about it."

"It was just a simple process of reduction!" Chopper blushed, happily wiggling his hips from side to side. "Calling me clever doesn't make me feel good at all!"

"Still…" she mused, pressing a finger to her chin, wearing a thoughtful expression. "You only included the Gum-Gum Fruit in your calculations."

Nami raised an eyebrow at the older woman. "What's your point?"

"Should we not perform at least one test on another Devil Fruit user?"

"_You_ want to do it?" Nami asked incredulously.

"I admit it might be an interesting experience," Robin confessed, "but no. Someone with opposable thumbs has to write down the results. And Captain-san could certainly use a break."

Chopper went still. He didn't like where this conversation was going.

"We can't run the risk with Brook, though!"

An arm sprouted to catch their remaining Devil Fruit user, who had been about to make a break for it. "Precisely." Robin smiled at the navigator, a hint of mischievous intent behind those aquamarine eyes.

Then it clicked.

A coy grin spread across Nami's face. "You want to see what happens if _Chopper_ does it."

Robin's smile grew another inch. "You have to admit, Navigator-san," she said as her flowered appendages delivered the struggling reindeer into her grasp, "the concept is _deliciously_ tempting."

Chopper started to panic. "No no no no no! I don't wanna do it! Don't make me do it, please, she _scares_ meeeeee…"

"Awww, but Chopper…!"

Nami pouted, purposefully shrugging in a way that pushed her breasts up and together. "I really wanted to see you do it…"

The reindeer blushed straight through his fur.

"You're the _only_ one who can do it, Doctor-san." Chopper squeaked and turned even redder as he felt himself being pressed backwards into Robin's soft, persuasive cleavage. "Please?"

The two women blinked prettily at him.

He swallowed.

Finally, Chopper glared at the lawn. "Damn broads," he muttered, red as a strawberry under his fluffy coat. "Fine. I'll do it. But I'm not happy about it!"

Robin smiled genuinely. "Excellent."

Nami laughed and clapped her hands together excitedly. "Yay! That was easier than I thought!" She turned around, smiling hopefully. "How about it Ve…?" The navigator blinked.

"…Vera?"

Nami looked around. The otherworlder girl was nowhere to be seen. "What the heck?"

"'Rock' beats 'scissors'!"

Sitting on the lawn, Luffy cackled and punched Usopp's arm from six inches. "You lose!"

Nami rounded on him. "Luffy, where'd she go?!"

Their captain glanced up from the bizarre hand game he was playing with Usopp. "Oh, Vera?" he asked, ignoring the sniper writhing in pain at his feet. "She's right here! She showed us this awesome game! What was it called again, Ver –?"

Luffy glanced behind him. "Hey, where'd you go?"

Usopp popped up, clutching his arm. "Did you have to hit me so damn _hard_?!" he shrieked.

"Who cares? Ready!"

Usopp involuntarily took the position. "Ready!"

"'Rock, paper, scissors, _shoot'_!" they both yelled in English.

Luffy threw up his fist. "Ha ha, I win!"

"No, _I _win! 'Paper' beats 'rock'!

"But that makes no sense!"

"'Who cares?'" Usopp parroted. He grabbed Luffy's hand before the rubber man could react, eyes gleaming wickedly as he raised his palm: "My turn~!"

_SLAP_.

"OW!" Luffy snatched back his hand. "Why'd you have to hit me so damn _hard?!"_

Nami, watched, slightly stupefied as they repeated the process, cringing and squabbling and raining blows on each other faster and harder, until they were rolling around on the deck; fighting in earnest. Usopp kept yelping something about "six inches" as Luffy smacked him silly at arm's length. As a spectator, Nami couldn't help but marvel over how much it looked like a _girlfight_.

"…Are they playing some kind of janken?" Robin wondered aloud.

"I can honestly say I have no earthly idea," Nami replied. The navigator sighed and aimed a furtive glance upward. "Where _is_ that girl, anyway?"

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ship, Vera scampered across the Sunny in search of her green-haired plushie's marimo captor. The brunette poked her head into yet another empty room.

"Ugh!" she snarled. "Where is that _stupid_ swordsman?!"

She slammed the door, now soundly irritated. So far, "Operation: Rescue Chibi Zoro" was a total bust; for some reason there had always been something about incomplete sets that drove Vera crazy. Her therapist called it a mild case of OCD… but as a member of the One Piece fandom, a girl could _not_ have a Luffy plushie and a Sanji plushie and _not_ _have_ _a_ _Zoro_ _plushie_! It was freaking unnatural!

_Big hairy deal_, admonished her inner Vange. _It's a stuffed doll with green hair and three toothpick swords. Weren't you just saying you were hungry? Go get some lunch, already._

_THEY ARE CALLED KATANA, AHO!_ shrieked the rabid, obsessive-compulsive fangirl. _Now, Vera! Go forth and RETRIEVE CHIBI ZORO!_

Vera saluted. "YES, MA'AM!"

The afternoon's heat forgotten, she twisted her disheveled hair into braids and resumed her search with the force of a spastic hurricane. By now, she was at the rear end of the Sunny. Quickly as she could while still being thorough, the sweaty brunette searched the stern, then rattled up the stairs to the domed, circular tower raised on the aft mast; its striped, red-and-yellow roof gleamed at her cheerfully, like a piece of bright citrus candy. Vera shot a glance in a window. _Empty, crap!_ She scowled and moved away from the glass.

Then she stopped.

_Hold the phone._ She did a double take.

Vera went back to the window, pressing her fingertips against the pane. Unfortunately, the blazing hot glass – heated to the point of warping in its frame – scorched her away from the portal. Vera hissed and stuck her fingers in her mouth, brown eyes shooting death and daggers… at a familiar head of short, pale green hair. _Of course! _she scolded herself. _The workout room! Why didn't I think of it before?!_

Suddenly, Vera paused.

_Still…_ _dang_! she thought, gazing hungrily at those glistening, rock-hard muscles, as Zoro alternated lifting three hundred pounds in each hand with barely any visible effort. She bit her lip a little, trying to beat back one of her infamous estrogen highs.

_Keep ahold of yourself, girl, _she told herself. _Nothing good _ever_ comes out of one of _those_!_

But that was when Zoro leaned over to touch his toes.

Vera was only human.

The hormone high won out. A tiny fire burst to life under her belly, working its magic little fingers up into Vera's twitching innards and down into a more… ahem, _sensitive_ area. Blood pooled in her cheeks, staining them shameless crimson. Her eyes went wide and unbelievably shiny; an adult's lust, a child's fascination, and a virgin's innocence all balancing in such a way that could only be found in the eyes of a dirty-minded virgin… such as herself. For Vera, it wasn't that hard to be one. For her, voyeurism combined with an estrogen high was good as any sex.

Vera sank to her haunches, teeth fastened gently onto one of her fingers as she stared. "That's right," she groaned, bouncing on her toes. "Keep leaning… oh, _dang_. You could bounce a quarter off that –"

* * *

Zoro suddenly shivered. He felt like he was being watched.

A bead of sweat sprung out on his forehead. _This aura…_

Slowly, the swordsman straightened and turned around, searching for the source of that heady, predatory gaze he felt clinging to his naked back. Suddenly, there was a flicker of motion in the corner of his eye. But when he turned to look, all he saw was an empty window.

_Was that… a braid?_

Zoro stared at the window for a long moment.

Then he turned back around, sat, and began to do crunches. _Maybe it's just my imagination._

* * *

_Phew! _Vera pressed a hand to her chest. _Thank goodness, he almost saw me!_

The brunette hunkered down below the window sill, her heart still beating like a butterfly's wings. She waited a few more seconds… then cautiously peeked over the windowsill. _Oh, dear LORD! He's doing ab crunches._

_Geez, Vera, you gotta focus! _the fangirl chastised her. _You're here for Chibi Zoro, not Sexy Beast Zoro. Know your mission! Concentrate._

_All right, all right!_ Vera bit her finger again, a bit of the blush returning as she watched the swordsman's flexing abdominals. _But seriously, are you seeing this?! You could grate cheese on those…_

_Wait a minute. _

She could see his abs.

_He isn't wearing his haramaki!_ Vera realized with a start. Her eyes darted over everything on the other side of the window, looking for a hint of green. _Where is it, where is it, where is it… THERE IT IS! On the bench over there!_

Sure enough, Zoro's signature belly warmer had been cast off on a stainless steel bench; Chibi Zoro sat on top of it, looking as at home as a plushie could look.

_Too bad, mini-marimo! You're coming with Vera!_

The delighted girl gave a little hop of excitement and darted away from the window.

* * *

The perverted aura was gone now. The Santoryuu swordsman tried to relax, attempting to slip into the thoughtless workout mindset that the strange, voyeuristic presence had jolted him out of; but after a couple dozen reps, Zoro realized it was no use. He was on edge now, his mind spinning in short, dizzy circles.

_Aw, shit. _ Frustrated, the marimo sat up. "It's all your fault," Zoro growled, shooting a death glare at the doll he had decided to call Little Roronoa.

Little Roronoa just glared sleepily right back from where he was sitting, atop the bigger man's haramaki; unaffected by such groundless accusations. Without thinking, Zoro gave him a voice. _"Hell, don't blame me," _the creepy felt figure replied, its tone blunt and piercing as a rusty nail. _"It's not my fault you ran away."_

Infuriated, Zoro went bright red. "I didn't _run away_, you plush prick!"

"_Oh sorry, __**fled**__. Like a pussy."_ He could almost see the doll shaking its head in disappointment._ "And you call yourself a swordsman."_

Brain scrambling for a decent comeback, Zoro's mouth opened, then closed. Gaping like a fish. That was when it occurred to him…

He was arguing with a freaking _toy_.

Zoro exhaled sharply, rubbing his forehead. What the _hell_ was wrong with him? Just two days ago, life had been normal. Well, as normal as life could ever be aboard the Sunny. But then, this – girl, if you could call her that – drops out of the sky in a flash of light, screws over your crewmates, gets her _own room_, and now you swear you can feel her eyes following you _wherever you go_. And to top it all off, without any warning whatsoever… you find out she knows something about you that you'd hesitate to tell your closest friends.

About Kuina.

Zoro sighed and lay back down, his brown furrowed in distress. How had she known?

How had that stupid documentary _known…_?

**_The crew was just finishing the first segment of the "One Piece" documentary. Everyone's eyes had been glued to the screen on Franky's mechanical doodad, munching on candy and Sanji's buttered popcorn. Zoro had still been a little pissed about being used as a trampoline; as a form of protest, he leaned against the back wall where he could still see the screen, teeth crunching on unpopped corn kernels and glaring silently at the moving images. Inside, the swordsman cringed every time his name was mentioned… which, as it was turning out, was very often._**

**_But finally, Luffy decked the fat-ass woman pirate and escaped the Marines with Coby, sailing away on a tiny dinghy. Zoro sighed in relief. Finally, it was winding down._**

**"Whew, that was fun!"_ the onscreen Luffy was saying._**

**_The onscreen Coby looked at him; Zoro had really forgotten how scrawny the kid was back then. _"Um, Luffy-san? If you're heading for the One Piece, that means you're going to the Grand Line, right?"**

**"Yup."**

**"That place is referred to as the pirate graveyard, you know."**

**"Yeah. That's why I need a strong crew."_ The young Luffy turned a little more towards the scrawny Coby, an excited expression on his face. _"What about that pirate hunter guy?" _he asked. _"What's he like?"**

**_Coby looked a little dumbfounded. _"You mean Zoro? I heard he's being held prisoner at a Navy base."**

**"Aww, he's a weakling?"**

**_Zoro's eyes narrowed. _What did he say? _He glared at the real Luffy, who was gaping at the onscreen Luffy like he'd been betrayed – his cavernous orifice filled with half-masticated popcorn. _**

**_Coby, however, was spazzing out again. _"Nothing of the sort! He's as terrifying as a demon!" _There was a pause, then:_ "Why are you asking about him?"**

**"Thought I might have him join my crew if he's a good guy!"**

**Oh, whatever, _Zoro thought. The marimo swordsman popped another corn kernel into his mouth, crunching it as Coby started panicking again, then got hit by Luffy a second time "just because." _Once a moron, always a moron. I just don't understand why they keep –**

**_Suddenly, his captain yelped in excitement. "Hey, look, Zoro! It's you!"_**

**_Zoro looked._**

**_He was met by a sight that threw him back through space and time. The sun beat mercilessly down on a single man, tied to a crucifix in the center of a dry, dusty courtyard. His face was downcast, hidden by shadow… and a black bandana. Zoro's eye widened as he recognized the green haramaki around that not-so-stranger's waist. It was the same one that was around his own._**

**_Then – with a hard chord on an electric guitar – Zoro found himself staring into the narrow, threatening gaze of a cold blooded killer. The same eyes he had seen on his old wanted posters._**

**_It was him._**

**"_Woooooo…!"_**

**_The Strawhats glanced curiously at their captain; Luffy's mouth was rounded into an amazed little o. Then he grinned: "That's so COOL!"_**

**_He smacked a couple buttons. "Next episode!"_**

**_Zoro blinked his one eye stupidly as Franky warded their treacherous rubber captain away from his precious machine. Crunching on a few more kernels, the swordsman waited as the next video played its intro and a few clips from the previous segment. He had to admit; staring himself in the face was one of the strangest experiences of his entire life. But at least the worst was over now._**

**_He was stupid to think so._**

**"'Enter The Great Swordsman!'" _the computer announced._ "'Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro!'"**

**_Everyone's eyebrows shot up. _**

**_A few bits of corn kernel dropped out of Zoro's mouth before he snapped it closed. _SHIT! _He panicked. _ This one's about me?!**

**_Robin looked intrigued. "How interesting…" she mused._**

**"_There's an entire segment on the marimo?!" the ero-cook exclaimed, smiling with malicious intent. He scotted closer, snatching a handful of popcorn from Luffy's copious supply. "This should be good."_**

**_Although he tried to hide it, Zoro felt a panic attack coming on. It was one thing if Luffy was watching. He had _been_ there, at Morgan's base. But not the rest of the crew – and ESPECIALLY not the shit cook! _If he finds out about what happened during those three weeks, he'll never let me live it down!**

**"_H-Hey, maybe we could skip this one…?"_**

**_The swordsman was horrified to hear his voice crack. But no one was paying attention to him, anyway; Zoro cringed, trying to fade into the background as Luffy and Coby ventured into the Marine base and met Pirate Hunter Zoro, then that little girl._**

**_And her sugary rice balls._**

**_Zoro had honestly been expecting the dartbrow to say something then. But surprisingly, Sanji didn't say a word. In fact, he didn't say anything the entire time; not when he ate the dirty onigiri, or when it was revealed that he'd been without food or water for three weeks, or even when it showed Zoro's desperate will to live… when he and Coby were about to be shot by the Marines._**

**Huh! _the present Zoro thought_. Isn't he going to say anything?**

**_He didn't._ _The swordsman rolled his eye, oddly disappointed and relieved at the same time._ Maybe he fixed something weird and ate it, the idiot–**

**_Then, Zoro looked at the screen… and made a guttural sound of absolute shock._**

**_Kuina._**

**_It was Kuina. _**

**_Mentally, Zoro knew there had to be some kind of mistake. But that dark hair, those somber eyes, that single sword; there was no room for doubt. For years, that face had only existed in Zoro's mind. No one, not even his nakama, knew what she'd looked like… yet there she was, his sacred memory downloaded on the possession of a stranger. Like some kind of sick joke._**

**_On the screen. Where everyone could see her._**

**_Then Zoro blinked, and she was gone. They were back in the Marine crucifixion yard, Luffy taking the bullets for Zoro and Coby, sending them back towards their owners with a victorious cry of "That won't work!"_**

**_Meanwhile, Zoro felt like his brain had been shrink-wrapped._**

**_It was suddenly an effort just to breathe. He couldn't feel his face, and his fingers had gone numb. _That can't… _he thought._ That wasn't…**

**"_ZORO__!"_**

**_The swordsman started at the sound of his captain's voice._**

**_Luffy looked at him concernedly. "Are you okay, Zoro? You look a little pale!"_**

**_Zoro swallowed to moisten his dry throat and looked at his nakama. No one was watching the screen anymore; they were all staring at him, as if another eye had sprouted on his forehead. Like a bug under a microscope._**

**_The marimo ducked his head. "Gotta take a whiz."_**

**"_Wow, you must have to go really bad. Go ahead, but hurry up!" Luffy turned back to the screen. "This docu-whatsit is really awesome!"_**

**_Without another word, Zoro had left the room. He had all but fled to the men's quarters. Once there, the swordsman put his hand between his knees – trying to get a hold on this raging storm of conflicting emotions – before he suffered some kind of mental breakdown. After some time, Zoro calmed down sufficiently enough to return to watching the documentary. Fortunately, his crewmates were engrossed in Luffy's climactic battle with Buggy the Clown, and no one saw him come in. _**

**_He just remembered being relieved. He didn't want to answer any questions._**

Zoro groaned, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyeballs until he saw stars. If he hadn't, he might have noticed the pigtailed brunette sneaking across the workout room; towards his discarded haramaki. What was _happening_? First this "Vera" chick, then Kuina, and then… waking up with a faceful of shaving cream?

_What's next? _the marimo wondered helplessly. _Luffy becoming a vegetarian?!_

Just thinking about it nearly brought the balance of freaking _nature_ crashing down around his ears; but now, Zoro wouldn't put it past the rubber captain to request salad and celery for lunch. The sea was a mysterious place, and events were fast approaching a level of freaky the Santoryuu swordsman had yet to witness.

* * *

_Slowly… very slowly…_

Vera snuck as quietly as she could across the weight room, hopping lightly between massive dumbbells and other discarded debris. Keeping her balance was a job and a half; while one hand flailed about – trying to compensate for her capricious bouts of klutziness – her other hand was fastened soundly over her nose.

_Funny, _she thought. _They'll mention farts in Navarone, burps in Thriller Bark, but not man-stink in the entire freakin' anime?!_

Suddenly, a waft of the smell managed to register in her olfactory senses.

Vera's eyes teared up. _ Quick, quick!_ _Pick up the pace… OW, it _burns_!_

Finally, she reached the bench. Her long pigtails bounced happily as she swept up Chibi Zoro: _Hallelujah! _Vera rejoiced, almost laughing aloud as she hugged her tiny marimo. _The Plushie Trio is complete! _

She flashed a gang sign at the big marimo. _PEACE, ya overgrown Sargasso weed! This girl is _out_! _

The girl turned to go, feeling extremely proud of herself…

Suddenly, something black and gleaming caught her eye. Vera stopped in her tracks.

_Hold up. Was that my –?_

She glanced back. Sure enough the shiny black face of her iPod gleamed innocently up at her from inside the pocket of Zoro's haramaki; that explained why she hadn't seen it from the window.

Vera's mouth dropped scandalously. _My iPod! What the heck is the crap marimo doing with it?!_

* * *

Zoro sighed and took his hands off his face. That was why – after he'd cleaned himself up from the shaving cream pat – the swordsman had snuck into the workshop and stolen the mystery device off its improvised charger.

It was for the entire crew's safety, Zoro had told himself. The thing was just too bizarre. Originally he'd planned to toss it overboard… but whenever an opportunity showed itself, Zoro lost his nerve; especially after being exposed to that mass of murderous aura. So he'd kept it.

The swordsman had to hold in a grimace at the memory. _And that was just with Little Roronoa,_ he realized. _I wonder what would happen if she found out I have her machine…_

…_**Shit**__, maybe I should just give them both back!_

* * *

Vera rolled her eyes and tucked the music player into her pocket.

_Well, whatever, _she mused, adjusting her grip on Chibi Zoro and starting to pick her way back towards the exit. _Weirder stuff has turned up in weirder places, I suppose. _

She blew a frustrated silent raspberry. _Still, cool as it is, I've probably lost half my brain cells being under this long. C'mon, brain, when are you gonna wake up? This side of the IQ scale would be ni– SAAH! _

Engrossed in her thoughts, Vera hadn't been watching where she was going. She tripped over a dumbbell and crashed to the floor.

Zoro was on his feet in an instant, his killer's gaze on her the next. He reached at his hips for swords that – thankfully – weren't there before he recognized her. His eyes widened in visible shock… then, they narrowed spitefully.

Vera blew a wisp of hair out of her face.

"I should really stop asking inanimate objects rhetorical questions," she muttered. "'Cause the universe just seems to _love_ pulling the metaphorical rug out from under me."

Suddenly, a hand the size of a small ham fastened around the scruff of her neck. "Ow ow _**ow**_, watch it!" Vera complained, grabbing at Zoro's fingers as the pissed-looking swordsman hauled her upright. "I like my head where it is, thanks – _not_ twisted off my shoulders! YOW! Leggo! _Yamero_! No me gusta!"

Okay, the Spanish had just slipped out.

Zoro snatched his plushie away from the girl.

"HEY!" she protested loudly, trying to wriggle out of his grip. "That's _mine_, give it _back_!"

The marimo gave her a look that could peel rock and steered her towards the door. Vera had to walk or be dragged. But that didn't mean she had to go quietly; the brunette fought like a wildcat, yelling, scratching, biting, kicking and screaming all the way to the door. Not that it did much good… this was Roronoa _freaking_ ZORO we were talking about. She could have been trying to hurt a boulder for all the good it was doing. Still, she managed to recall a couple bad words in Japanese before Zoro opened the door, grabbed her by the belt loops, and tossed her bodily out onto the landing.

Vera landed on her butt, hard. "_Marimo baka_!" she yelled.

The door slammed.

Operation: Rescue Chibi Zoro… Failed.

Yes, as one of the Monster Trio, Zoro had been gentle; if he hadn't been, she'd be swimming in the drink right now. But for a normal human, it still smarted like heck. Vera rubbed her stinging neck, brewing with thoughts of vengeance. Then suddenly, in her dark mindset… a deliciously creeper idea occurred to her.

She looked up at the citrus-candy dome roof. _I wonder if I could get up there…_

* * *

_She was watching me the entire time. She was watching me the entire time! SHE WAS WATCHING ME THE ENTIRE TIME! _

Zoro started to feel himself hyperventilate._ That pervert! T-That **chijo!**_

_Whoah, hold on. Okay, okay, relax. _He put his head between his knees, slowly but surely fighting back the panic that threatened to overwhelm him. _All right, she _was_ watching me. She almost took the doll. But she didn't. I caught her before she could take it, and I threw her out. I was stronger than her. Relax._

Thud.

Zoro froze. _What was that?_

He craned his head towards the ceiling, where he could hear muffled scuffling noises and the occasional mutterings in a foreign tongue. His mind was boggled. _She's climbing the roof? Why the hell would she be climbing the roof?_

Slowly, the scrambling noises and murmurs made their way up the other side of the dome. Zoro stared at the skylight, slightly unnerved.

Two brown braids came into sight.

_What?_

* * *

Vera lowered her head carefully through the open skylight; it would do no good to fall and break her neck now. Getting up the roof had been harder than she thought, too, her palms and knees sizzling against the slick, red-hot surface. But she could see Zoro's face now.

_Good, he's looking this way. Very well… COMMENCE! _Hanging Spiderman-style, she stared straight at the man – and did her best anime impression. Edward Elric from Episode 5: "The Man With the Mechanical Arm." Fifteen minutes in.

She couldn't have got a better reaction if she'd slapped Zoro with a wet noodle.

The girl snorted and burst out laughing. "HA ha ha ha haha!" Oh, his _face_! It was freaking _priceless_!

Then suddenly, her hand slipped, and she fell off the roof.

"_AUGH_!"

* * *

Zoro's jaw dropped, dumbfounded. _WHY?!_

**.oOo.**

"I can honestly say I have no earthly idea," Nami replied. The navigator sighed and aimed a furtive glance upward. "Where is that girl, anyway?"

She honestly hadn't been expecting anything to actually _come_ from the sky.

Luffy and Usopp were still rolling around on the deck, squabbling. "Six inches, you moron! OW!"

"Ha HA! Take that!"

"_AUGH_!"

An unidentified brown blur suddenly came streaking out of the sky like a comet. Fortunately, Luffy and Usopp broke her fall; their captain's rubber body absorbed most of the shock. Still, the impact was enough to knock the threesome clear across the ship. A tangled mess of arms and legs hurtled past the dumbfounded Strawhats, hit the wall, then slid – moaning – back onto the grass.

Nami stared.

Then, from the bottom of the pile, the unidentified flying object let out a relieved sigh. It was none other than Vera herself.

"Oh, there you are!"

Confused, slightly irritated brown eyes glanced up at the navigator. Nami smiled, helping her back to her feet and steering her towards Chopper, who was waiting nervously in full reindeer form. "We got one more thing for you to try!"

She gestured towards their doctor: "Humor us?"

Vera blinked, then seemed to realize what the navigator wanted. She glanced at Chopper, her face fluttering with mixed emotions. She was still a bit shell-shocked from her rough landing on captain-and-sniper, and for some reason she was distantly angry. But faced with the opportunity, she was well and willing to touch that soft-looking fur… even eager.

Nami grinned. That was enough of an invitation for her. "All right, upsie daisy!"

She interlaced her fingers, giving Vera a foothold up onto Chopper's back. The young doctor's hooves shifted nervously as he felt the otherworlder touch his fur.

"Nami…?"

If she hadn't wanted to see this as much as she did, Nami might have felt bad for doing it. "It'll be fine, Chopper!" she reassured him, going back to sit next to Robin. "All you have to do is stand there! Relax, nothing's going to go wrong."

"Okay…" Chopper whimpered. "If you say so, Nami…"

The navigator leaned back in her chair, practically quivering with anticipation. _Ah, I can't wait!_

On the other side of the lawn, Brook watched from the shade as Vera finished distributing her weight on Chopper's back. She looked delighted about how high she was. Her eyes were alight with a strange blend of comfort, excitement, and innocence the skeleton had never seen before; even patting the reindeer's neck as she glanced around.

"It _is_ rather strange, don't you think?" Brook whispered to Usopp.

The sniper looked up from his injuries. "Which _part_?" he asked, thoroughly unamused. "That we're running power tests on a vicious, otherworldly entity, that we're using our reindeer doctor as a subject… or the fact that she just _crash-_landed on Luffy and me after some kind of kamikaze _flight_ practice?!"

"No." Usopp's sarcasm made a faint whistling sound as it flew over Brook's afro.

"That she seems unaware of said power," the musician replied, eye sockets anxiously trained on Chopper. "And what if she isn't? Does that mean, if it grows stronger as time goes on, even she won't realize it? What if there is some kind of hidden property? Something that could truly shake the world. She couldn't even warn us… we wouldn't know until it was too late."

Usopp went back to nursing his injuries. "Come on, Brook. Even I have to admit that sounds pretty crazy. Devil Fruit users losing their powers all over the place? I think we'd…"

Suddenly, the implications of that statement hit the sniper like a ten-ton wrecking ball.

"_**Oh**_!" Usopp gasped. "You mean… Brook, you'd –?!"

"Shhhh!" Suddenly, the skeleton leaned forward. "Something seems to be happening! Look, Usopp-san!"

The sniper whipped his head around, redirecting his attention onto Chopper and his otherworldly passenger. At first, he didn't notice anything.

Then he saw it.

It was very subtle… but there had been a slight change in Chopper's body language. Instead of trembling, standing stock-still with dread, the reindeer's muscles had acquired a different sort of tension. His ears and tail were erect. Chopper's eyes, too, had taken on an animalistic quality. They were bright and glassy, so wary of his surroundings it bordered on paranoia.

Robin had noticed the change too. "Doctor-san?" she whispered.

Chopper's head whipped around, nostrils flaring at the familiar scent of the archeologist. Vera jumped a little bit at the sudden motion, clinging harder to his pelt; Chopper reacted immediately, making panicked huffing sounds as his hooves stepped back, then forward again. Robin could see the remnants of a human mind battling with the reindeer's raw, instinctual panic.

She had to do something… fast.

The archeologist held both her hands out, palm up, showing she was unarmed as she took a hesitant step towards Chopper. "Doctor-san," she repeated, making her voice silky and reassuring. "Calm down… you are all right. Everything is fine."

_It's working,_ Robin realized. The reindeer's ears had pricked up; it was still breathing hard – but something in its poor, dumb mind was reacting to her soothing tone. _Thank goodness._

"Rosethorne-san."

Vera glanced at her with frightened eyes. She could feel the instability of a wild, full-grown reindeer beneath her, and it was obvious she didn't like it. "Robin?" she whimpered. "What's wrong Chopper?"

"Try to get 'off,'" the older woman instructed in broken English. "'_Off_.'"

Vera shook her head frantically, saying something Robin could roughly translate as "_too far_."

"Now," Robin insisted, a note of urgency slipping into her voice. She took another step towards Chopper, hands extended.

She took one step too far.

Without warning, the reindeer let out a moaning cry of terror and reared on his hind legs. Nami shouted in alarm and ran. Robin stumbled backwards desperately, away from the flailing, bone-crushing hooves that threatened to bash her skull in. As dire as the situation she was in, the archeologist could only watch in horror as Vera was thrown off Chopper's back.

And slammed into Brook.

"OOF!" The skeleton was taken completely by surprise when he had turned to run, and was suddenly struck in the back by what felt like a human cannonball. Brook crashed face first onto the deck.

"You knocked all the air out of my lungs!" he exclaimed. "That is, if I had any lungs…"

"_BROOK_!" Usopp screamed. "Are you _okay_?!

Brook ran a quick check over his bones…

"Actually," he replied after a moment, "I feel fine!"

Pleasantly surprised, the skeleton aimed a toothy grin at the appalled sniper; after all, he had no gums. Or lips. "No problem here!"

Then, he tried to get up.

Nothing happened.

"Oh dear."

Brook tried again… but it felt like he was pinned by a massive iron ball, slowly crushing him under its terrible weight. His skeletal arms had no strength. Suddenly – no matter how hard he tried – he could not breathe. Cold blackness gnawed at the edge of the musician's vision. "My, my, Vera-san…" Brook whispered hoarsely. "_Forgive_ me… for being rude… but you are very, _very_ heavy…!"

"_Get her off of him!"_

_Is that Nami-san?_ Brook wondered. _She sounds so far away…_

Suddenly, Zoro's voice reached across the blackness. _"Shit, what the hell happened here?! Usopp, get her off!"_

"_I'm trying!" _the sniper gasped. _"She's heavy!"_

Zoro snarled. _"Oh, step aside! I'll do it!"_

Quickly as it had come, the crushing weight vanished. Suddenly, Brook could breathe.

The skeleton gasped, sucking in air as fast as he could. Too much came at once. Brook erupted into violent coughing, only broken by his desperate, whooping breaths; if he had had a stomach, the skeleton would have vomited all over the deck. But finally – ribcage heaving, eye sockets streaming – Brook managed to get his bones under control.

Someone shouted into his ear, nearly deafening him.

"BROOK! CAN YOU HEAR ME _NOW_?! _**ARE YOU OKAY?!**_"

The Soul King coughed one last time. "Yes, Luffy-san…" he rasped. "I can hear you loud and clear."

Sighs of relief went up among his nakama. Luffy laughed happily. Usopp started bawling. Chopper twitched a couple yards away; he was back in his tiny form now, and looked positively exhausted. Nami and Robin let out breaths they hadn't realized they'd been holding. Zoro pinched the bridge of his nose, looking the most relieved of them all. They were all okay…

Suddenly, Brook's skull pounded.

The skeleton yelped and curled into a fetal position. Threads of light swarmed in like a pack of bloodthirsty souls, solidifying in his vision until everything became a roaring wall of white noise. Ghostly whispers made themselves known, a countless multitude of voices screaming unintelligible words; most in a tongue that Brook could not understand. The Soul King wasn't sure if he cried out or not. It was just so _LOUD_!

Then, the skeleton blinked… and suddenly, without a flash or a warning of any kind, the world returned. Not even a single thread of that light remained; no clue as to what he had just experienced. But strangely enough, Brook could still sense the source. It was nearby.

_Very_ nearby.

The skeleton gazed at it. "That light…"

"No, don't go into the _light_, Brook!" Usopp grabbed his bony arms and shook him back and forth. "You need to see Laboon again, remember?!"

Brook swatted him away. "No, not that light!" the musician said.

He pointed. "_That_ light."

Everyone's eyes followed the line of that gleaming white phalange… to Vera. She was curled up beside the rail, eyes closed, blood trickling down her forehead where she had struck the banister.

Zoro stared. "What light?"

Nami punched the green-haired swordsman into the ground. "You threw her into the _rail_?! You need to learn the meaning of a limit! A _limit_!"

"What _else_ was I supposed to do?!"

"Doctor! We need a doctor!" Chopper panicked.

"_That's you!_"

"Oh, right."

Quickly, a fight began to break out. The only one who was silent was Brook. The Soul King looked at his bickering nakama, confused.

_None of them can see it?_

The skeleton looked back at Vera. Her entire body shimmered with otherworldly white threads, only contained by the fair membranes and capillaries of her skin. As he watched, several of the threads wafted free – brushing against Chopper's hoof as the reindeer poked her cautiously onto a medical sled, preparing to drag the unconscious girl to the infirmary. They wrapped around Chopper's furry wrist, as if attracted by some sort of magnet.

But there wasn't enough pull; Chopper walked away, unaffected. The glowing threads released him reluctantly, drifting back inside Vera to rejoin the rest of their shimmering kin.

_Can't he see that?_ Brook marveled. _How wondrous…_

Franky returned, looking victorious. "I woke up Sanji-bro!"

Then the cyborg's mouth dropped. "Whoah, what happened here?!" he demanded, looking around. "Damn, I leave for five minutes and I miss _everything_!"

**.**

* * *

**My, my! Brook can hardly believe his eyes… although he doesn't have any! (I'm sorry! I had to! Please don't hit me! ***_**flees**_***)****. ****Btw, for those who were wondering; "chijo" is the female form of "hentai." ****LOL! Poor Zoro... Vera's such a creeper! XD**

**Well, only the first session of tests is over and already something unusual and bizarre has happened! And after lunch comes __****swimming. **

**Who knows what will happen next? **


	6. Storm Clouds on the Horizon

**OH MY GOSH! This took freaking **_**forever**_** to write! And if that's not enough, school started on Wednesday, I am sleepy, and I swear I have tunnel vision from staring at this computer so long. BUT IT'S FINISHED NOW! *posts with a vengeance***

**Enjoy! Is a **_**reeeeeally**_** long one. =D**

* * *

**Chapter 6:**

**Storm Clouds on the Horizon**

The blazing sun had finally reached its apex over the Strawhat Pirate's ship… and after the crazy events of that morning, the hot weather was getting to them all. A few puffy white clouds had accumulated on the horizon. Teasing. Looking up from lunch preparations – chilled soumen – Sanji gazed through the kitchen porthole and fantasized briefly of a refreshing rainstorm.

Sanji licked the spoon.

_Shit._ The cook's mouth twisted in frustration. It wasn't that either.

He tossed the spoon in the sink and began to scrub it with a vengeance, glaring at the noodles simmering _so_ _innocently_ on the stove. This was ridiculous! He was supposed to be a world-class chef, for crying out loud! And he couldn't even figure out what he _himself_ was craving?! Sanji growled, feeling somehow deprived of his dignity as a cook.

Finally, he sighed and opened the spice cupboard.

_Dwelling on it won't help_, the cook thought as he sprinkled soy sauce and other spices into a bowl, quickly stirring the ingredients into a thin sauce. _Don't let this distract you, Sanji. Best to just keep going forward._

The timer dinged. Sanji picked up the pot of soumen noodles and poured them into the strainer. When all the water had disappeared – steaming – down the drain, the blonde then plopped the noodles into nine bowls. He drizzled them all with the sweet soy-ginger sauce, adding mushrooms and green onions for a bit of color.

_Maybe it'll come to me later._

Sanji placed the bowls of soumen in a wide tray of crushed ice and pushed open the door. "Hey, guys! Food's on!"

**.oOo.**

In the galley, seven of nine Strawhats sat at the dining table, having just finished hearing the testimony of their favorite skeletal musician.

Nami's eyebrow twitched incredulously. "So," she said, "what you're trying to tell us… is that you can _see_ Vera's power now?"

That gleaming white skull nodded. "Yes."

"And it looks like a huge knot of glowing white threads?"

"Well, yes!" Even Brook couldn't miss the note of disbelief in the navigator's tone. "I do realize it sounds a bit crazy, Nami-san, but why would I make this up? But perhaps this is for a greater purpose! Perhaps it is a gift from above!"

"Bullshit." Zoro was blunt as always. Somehow, the swordsman managed to look intimidating, even with the numerous colorful contusions that Nami had inflicted upon him; apparently, keeping a creepy alien bitch from killing one of their nakama – even if it meant unintentionally throwing her into the ship's banister and knocking her out cold – was cause for punishment.

Franky nodded from his seat. "And even if it wasn't, how come _we_ can't see it?"

"Or me?!" Luffy demanded at the head of the table. "Anything that glows has to be _really_ cool to watch! Why does only Brook get to see it?!"

"That's a good question." The navigator glared back around for an explanation. "_Why_, Brook?"

The skeleton looked a little stumped, himself. "I don't know," he replied, thinking about it. "Perhaps because of my Resurrect-Resurrect Fruit power, I am more – if you'll excuse my pun – '_in tune_' concerning the connections between souls. And Vera-san's seems to work… well, differently than yours or mine. Different properties, if similar housing."

"She _is_ from another world," Robin mused, pensive.

After a moment, the archeologist looked up at Brook. "Could you see anything else besides its shape and form?"

"Truly, Robin-san, I had a hunch about Vera-san being simply unaware of her power, but I never guessed it would reside in her own subconscious; if I didn't know any better, I would say it was her subconscious. It's not voluntary. It's faster than any intelligent thought, and so _wild_… unrestrained by inhibitions…" Brook thought back; remembering the overwhelming speed of sensations from that iridescent, glaring mass.

Nami interrupted his reminiscing. "So, all those tests Chopper did were for nothing?!"

The skeleton waved his hands around nervously. "Oh, no no! Chopper-san's theory was correct, but it was just a drop in the ocean. The power is mysterious to me. I've never seen anything like it! If I allowed myself to be immersed for a bit longer, I might be able to understand more…"

Usopp slammed his palms down on the table. "'_Longer_?!' A second longer back there on the lawn, Brook, and you would have _died_! AGAIN!"

"Yohohohoho, good one, Usopp-san! You're good at telling skull jokes!"

"_**THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER**_!" the sniper shrieked, repeatedly banging the table with open palms.

Sanji pushed open the door. "Hey, guys! Food's on!"

That was the end of any possible conversation that might have occurred. The crew sprung for the bowls, shoveling the chilled soumen down their gullets before Luffy could steal their shares. Drops of sweet soy-ginger sauce speckled the tablecloth. Zoro avoided someone's chopsticks as they hurtled through the air, reaching quickly for a bowl. Two were left, and one of them was obviously meant for Chopper, so…

Suddenly, a hard black shoe slammed down on the table. Zoro whipped his fingers away before they could be crushed.

"What the_ hell, _damn cook?!" the swordsman shouted.

"That is _NOT_ for _you_!" the blonde cook snarled, retracting his leg threateningly. "There's nothing here for you, shitty marimo!"

"And why the hell not?!"

Sanji acquired the face of a demon. "_Why not_?! You threw Vera-chan into a frickin' _rail_ and _knocked her unconscious_! Why the hell do you _think_ not?!"

"You weren't there, who told you that?!"

Robin raised her hand delicately. "Guilty," she said, with a small mysterious smile.

Zoro growled. If it had been Luffy he could have done something, but not to the archeologist. He settled for snarling "Damn woman!" and stalking out of the galley. "I don't want any. Your cooking is crap, anyway!"

"_WHAT_ _DID YOU SAY?!_" Sanji shrieked.

He started to go after the green-haired swordsman.

Nami rolled her eyes. "_Mmm_!" she purred loudly. "Sanji, your cooking is the best!"

Hearts popped into his eyes, and the cook's spine became even floppier than the soumen. "Oh, who cares about that damn swordsman's opinion anyway?!" he swooned, spinning over to the navigator's side. "Do you really like it that much?! Oh, Nami-swaaaaaaan~!"

"Yes, yes." _I __think I just created a monster..._

Resigned, Nami plopped her cheek in her hand and took another bite of noodles. _Oh well. At least things are quiet. Relatively._

* * *

Chopper cringed. After his turn as a guinea pig, the reindeer doctor was exercising extreme caution in how much skin contact he had with Vera. Even though his brain told his body he was perfectly safe, Chopper's motions were excruciatingly slow and hesitant… but finally, he finished taping up the wound on Vera's forehead.

The doctor leaned back, wiping his forehead. "I'm done," he sighed.

Chopper hopped down from the cot, relieved. "That was really scary…"

With that, the reindeer crossed the room to his desk and crawled with some difficulty into his spinny-chair. Feeling like he deserved a reward, the reindeer pushed his foot against the drawer and quickly leaned back. "Whee hee!" Chopper squealed in delight as he spun, going around and around until he was dizzy. He shoved off again. "Wheeeeee!"

Unfortunately, like all lovers of spinny-chairs, Chopper eventually _did_ get dizzy. "Whooooah…"

The little doctor swayed, then plopped his fluffy head down onto the desk. Giggling, he waited for the room to stop spinning… but as he did so, thoughts of the testing started to come back.

Chopper sighed, dismayed. Honestly, he didn't remember much after Vera had settled on his back. All he could recall was a blur of confusion – and a splash of something else. Fear. If it hadn't been for Robin, he would be clueless to what had happened at all.

The reindeer looked at the experiment sheets, lying in a pile on his desk.

Or what happened to Brook.

_It really isn't just Luffy,_ Chopper thought. _It's me and Brook, too. _He looked back at the young, pretty female on the infirmary bed. She was so still – if it wasn't for the steady, even rise and fall of her chest and the occasional twitch of the fingers, she could have been dead.

Before his courage could desert him, Chopper hopped off his chair. He walked across the room again, hoisting himself up by his furry forearms to get a closer look at her.

_Wow, she's actually kinda pretty…_

Most of the time, Chopper struggled to understand what humans found beautiful in the external sense… they were just so funny looking. But now, despite himself, Chopper found he could appreciate the velvet softness of Vera's sleeping face. She looked so peaceful. It was almost hard to believe such a pretty creature could be the cause of all this chaos.

_Maybe, _the reindeer thought, a little dreamily. _She might not be that bad after all…_

Vera opened her eyes. "OW!" she yelled.

"_**WAAAAH**_!"

Chopper screamed at the top of his lungs and fell off the cot. He landed on his head, but luckily, his hat cushioned the impact; the little reindeer quickly scrambled to his feet and dove for the protection of his spinny chair as the otherworlder girl sat up, rubbing her forehead in confusion.

* * *

_My heeeeead… _

Vera closed her eyes, bewildered by the pulsing headache that suddenly assaulted her. _Crap, owwww! Sheesh, what the heck happened?! _She tried to think back. _Okay, let's see, the last thing I remember is Chopper throwing me off his back. Then… I dunno, think I was a little dazed. Well, either way I'm still under, so whatever._

_Where am I, now, anyway? _Vera paused and checked her surroundings. _Ah, the infirmary._

Suddenly, a motion by the desk caught her eye. Vera glanced back around and was met with the sight of Chopper – trembling in fear, but only hiding half of his face behind a…

Her eyes lit up. "SPINNY CHAIR!"

Chopper screamed and ran to the other side of the room as Vera jumped out of her cot, ran over to the spinny chair, and set her knees on the seat. Quickly, she wrapped her arms around the back and pushed off with her foot. "_Wheeeeeeee_! You spin my head right round, right round, like a record baby ~!"

Then her jaw dropped. _AH! _She slammed herself to a stop, grinning like a maniac. _That's right, I have my iPod now!_

Vera smiled and plucked it out of her pocket, humming merrily as she turned it on and scrolled down her list of artists. Chopper's eyeballs practically bugged out of his head… but the girl paid him no attention; she clicked "Right Around" by Flo Rida, popped her earbuds in, and started herself spinning again. Finally feeling like all was right with the world.

"You spin my head right round, right round, like a record baby~!" she sang along, resting her head on her forearms as she spun around. "Right round, right round!"

* * *

Chopper stared at Vera, _I don't know when she got that device back…_ he thought._ But whatever she has, I hope it's not contagious._

* * *

Vera caught a glimpse of Chopper. The little reindeer's eyes were flicking back and forth between her face and her earbuds, wide-eyed with a balance of fear and fascination as he watched her bizarre antics. _What could he be thinking?_ Vera wondered.

She smiled, pulling an earbud out and offering it to him. "You wanna listen?" she asked.

Chopper started. "It's fine," she assured him. "Daijoubu."

"Iie, betsu ni!" the reindeer replied nervously. _No thanks!_

"Aww, demou…" Vera's face fell, then she offered it again. "Come on! It's fun!" She smiled wickedly: "Or are you chicken?" Then she snorted. "Oh, of course not, you're a reindeer! Ha ha ha!"

* * *

Chopper was started to get a little weirded out. _Is she crazy or something?_

* * *

Vera grinned. She had been a fan of One Piece for years! She knew just what buttons to push on _any_ member of the Strawhat crew. Their doctor – of course – was no exception.

"Kowai, kowai!" she mocked, spinning the earbud around by its wire. _Scary, scary!_

Then she pointed at Chopper. "_Tanuki-chan_."

* * *

Chopper was outraged. "Are you mocking me?!" he demanded. "I'm a _reindeer_, not a raccoon, dammit!"

But she continued chanting, smiling, and spinning that thing in her hand. "Raccoon-chan, raccoon-chan! Ha ha ha!"

This was really starting to get on Chopper's nerves. Finally, he snatched the thing out of her hand. "Fine, I'll do it!" he yelled. "If it'll make you _shut_ _up_!"

She giggled once last time, seeming pleased, then began to flick her finger across the mirror-black surface of her… what had Franky called it again? That's right, it was some kind of music player. The reindeer glanced at the little white bulb, connected to the shiny black device by a long white steam; it appeared to be some kind of extension, spewing thudding, intense beats through a cluster of tiny holes on one side – a man singing in Vera's language in the foreground. Like headphones, except smaller. And weirder.

Suddenly, the sound cut off. Chopper nearly dropped the tiny headphone-bulb. "Holy crap!" he panicked, then looked at Vera for explanation: "Did I break it?! What happened?"

She wasn't touching the device anymore. If anything, the brunette seemed to be waiting for him. Laughing, she pointed at the bulb in his hoof and tapped on the other one – which was in her ear – pantomiming for Chopper to do the same.

Uncertainly, the reindeer acquiesced. He yelped when it fell out almost immediately; much to Vera's amusement, after trying and failing a few more times, Chopper finally settled for holding it against his ear.

He shifted nervously on his hooves. _What now?_

* * *

Vera pressed play on Carly Rae Jepson's "Call Me Maybe."

At first, Chopper's fluffy eyebrows raised at the violin chords. Whatever he'd been expecting, that wasn't it. Vera watched his features squirm for a few seconds, trying in vain to decipher the English lyrics… then reset like hers did when the Strawhats started to talk. Before the first chorus, Chopper had adopted an expression of peaceful ignorance – even bobbing along with the catchy melody.

The brunette smiled in amusement. His face was fun to watch, and he seemed to like the popular American tune. That was good; she'd figured a lot of her songs would be too much for the little guy, and most of the others would be either too sleepy or too – well, _familiar_. She had a few One Piece opening themes on her iPod. She didn't want to cause some kind of dimensional paradox in her brain. After all, she'd done it before. When she was four, Vera had told Micky Mouse a spoiler about his Three Musketeers movie with Goofy and Donald… when all of a sudden, Vange had come busting through the wall in a Tinkerbell outfit, riding a cartoon lion and covered in peanut butter, singing gospel music at the top of her lungs. Then she woke up.

_But I digress_, Vera thought. Nonetheless, she felt proud of her song choice. The brunette hummed along with the familiar tune, matching Chopper bounce for bounce all the way to the end. But eventually, the end did come.

As the last notes faded away, Vera realized her stomach was going feral on her again.

"Sheesh," she sighed, rubbing her exposed midriff, which was making the same rude growling noises as last night. "I'm still hungry…"

Chopper glanced at her tummy. "Ranchi?" he asked.

Vera perked up. "Did you say 'lunch'?"

The reindeer nodded. "Nn! Ikamashou," he replied, turned towards the door. _Yeah! Let's go._

"Ranchi!" Vera squealed. Delighted at the addition of a new word to her Japanese vocabulary, she catapulted herself out of Chopper's spinny chair, streaking past the dumbstruck reindeer doctor on her way to the galley. "Meshi!

"And all the other boys~!" she sang. Crap, it was stuck in her head now. "Try to _chase_ me~!"

* * *

_She's singing that song. With no music._ Chopper felt a bead of nervous sweat roll down his neck as he watched Vera dance along the hall. _I really hope that isn't contagious._

"'But here's my number~!'" she sang.

The girl slammed open the double doors to the galley and struck an epic pose. "So call me maybe!"

Silence fell. Everyone looked up from their lunch, positively boggled by this strange way of interrupting. A noodle dropped out of Luffy's nose.

Sheepish, Chopper leaned out from behind Vera.

"Hi, guys!" he greeted his nakama, smiling apologetically. "I think Zoro might have bonked her on the head a _little_ harder than we thought…"

Luffy went back to eating.

"Vera-chan!" Sanji cried. The cook rushed over to her, urgent hands turning her face at different angles. "How do you feel? Does your head hurt? I'll kick that sorry shithead's ass! Are you all right?!"

Vera smiled, amused by his attention. "I'm fine. Lunch?"

Chopper rushed past the cook. "Oh crap! Is there even any left?!"

"I saved some for you!" Sanji smiled joyously at Vera, guiding her to the table. He pulled out a chair for her. "Please be seated, mademoiselle." She sat; the blonde snapped out a napkin and set it delicately on her lap. "Lunch is a lovely chilled bowl of soumen noodles – LUFFY, DON'T YOU DARE TAKE A BITE OF THAT, YOU ASSHOLE! – drizzled with a smooth, delicious soy and ginger sauce. Heaven on hot days like this one."

Sanji set the bowl in front of her. Luffy pouted. "Enjoy…"

* * *

Vera squirmed with anticipation. _At last! I am about to eat food prepared by none other than Sanji, the legendary chef of One Piece! This is gonna be incredible! I've never tasted this dish in real life… but I'll enjoy nonetheless! _

_HERE I GO!_ She reached for her fork.

Her fingers closed around two thin sticks.

Chopsticks.

Vera almost cried._ The. Universe. HATES. ME. Uwahhhhh…_

* * *

The cook returned to his seat across from Vera, purring happily as she – tearfully – picked up her chopsticks.

Franky paused, then looked back at Nami: "So, Nami-sis… you were saying something about an island?"

"Oh. Right." With a light pencil, Nami circled a blank bit of the sea chart she had spread onto the table. "As you guys might have realized, it's a summer island. Odds are it's inhabited. Perfect place to stock up on food and shampoo, thanks to our…"

"_RAWRGH_!"

Everybody jumped at Vera's sudden yawp of frustration. The otherworlder girl seemed to be having difficulty grasping the slippery soumen noodles with her chopsticks. Fed up, she threw them over her shoulder and used her hands instead.

* * *

"Nom nom nom, little noodles!" she muttered crazily. "_NOM_!"

* * *

Nami blinked. "… strange guest. If nothing happens to push us off course, judging by the weather patterns, we should get there by tomorrow morning." She rolled up the chart. "Any questions?"

Franky raised a gigantic hand. "I do." His smaller hand popped out to press his nose, holding it down for three long seconds. "When we get to the island, what –?"

"'HANDCEPTION'!"

They all stared at Vera. She stared back.

Then she gave them her cutest, most innocent smile and stuck another bit of soumen into her mouth, slurping it up like a spaghetti noodle. "Mmmmm…!"

Franky's hair sprung out into stag horns.

"Like I was saying, what are we going to do with her?"

Nami sighed and shrugged. "I guess we'll decide when we get there. Draw straws, or something." Vera managed to set down her empty bowl and walk out the door, completely unseen. "But right now, we need to finish these tests. Luffy, you're up."

"Just a minute!" the rubber man said through his umpteenth serving of soumen. "I need to finish eating lunch!"

"Oh, whatever." Nami looked at Robin. "Robin, let's go see if we can find Vera a swimsuit."

The older woman pushed her chair back. "All right."

* * *

Vera started when Nami and Robin grabbed each of her arms, hauling her backwards towards the door. "Hey! W-Whoah, hold up! Where are you taking me? I just got here!"

Robin offered her a reassuring smile. "Mizugi."

As if that explained _anything_.

**.oOo.**

Several minutes later, Vera was sitting in the girl's cabin on what was most likely Nami or Robin's bed, watching the two older women sift through the contents of their drawers. Rejected bikinis lay in a pile next to her on the bed.

Vera crossed her arms under her bare breasts, foregoing the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra or a shirt. It didn't really matter to her. She wasn't shy, and they were all girls here. What she did mind, however, was the fact that she'd never felt as small in the bust area as she did now… trying on Nami and Robin's swimsuits. Every bikini with decent coverage they'd tried, the tops pinched her ribs and hung off her chest in folds. It was infuriating!

The girl scowled. _Stupid Oda!_ she thought vengefully. _Why'd you have to make your women with such frickin' huge boobs?! _

Being a double D cup, Vera had always been above average. She had even received compliments – yes, compliments – about her breast size. The girl rolled her eyes. _And boys wonder what girls talk about when we're by ourselves, _she thought.

Come to think of it, this kind of reminded her of that time at home a couple weeks before the con, when Vange had come home from college for summer break…

_**The Rosethorne family had been gathered around the dining room table, eating Laura's Sunday Night Specialty, hot chili-and-chicken casserole. A warm rain fell outside. To any person passing by, they were a typical family of five eating dinner on a peaceful summer night in Maine. However… if you were inside, it was an entirely different perspective.**_

"_**Quit begging, Milo!"**_

_**Vera lifted a heavy lock of hair, still wet from the shower, and placed it out of her face. "Oh, stop kidding yourself, Eva. We all know you slip that stupid dog something at every meal."**_

"_**Don't call him stupid!" Eva shouted. **_

"_**Why deny it? We'll find out what you gave him when he barfs it back up on the living room rug."**_

_**Eva pouted. She was the third Rosethorne child – the youngest at eight years old – still believed in cooties, and was hopelessly in love with the family dog Milo; a red setter-husky mix that more resembled a giant crimson fuzzball than anything else. Her second love was Vera's long "Rapunzel" hair, and was attempting to grow her hair out to match; unfortunately, unlike Vange and Vera, who took after their mother with thick, gorgeous brown tresses – Eva got her frizzy blonde hair from their father.**_

_** "Keep talking about it, girls," Van warned, "and Vange might just beat poor Milo to it!"**_

"_**Yes, daddy!" the younger siblings chorused. Their big sister did look a little green.**_

_**The fifty-three-year old man nodded in approval and resumed stuffing his face. Age had not been kind to Van Rosethorne, making him balder than an egg and fatter than Santa Claus. Not that he cared. As for other people, there was just something about his bright, impish chocolate eyes just made people think: "Hey, more of him to love."**_

"_**SO!" their mother, Laura Rosethorne, interjected. Aged like a fine wine, she was a beautiful and gracious woman, with bright greenish eyes, stylish glasses, and long silver hair. Always the otaku, Vera mentioned with pride that if her mother had pointed ears, she could have been born an elfin queen. Which would make her an elfin princess! "You've finished your fourth year at the University of New England! Second in the class! Congratulations, Evangeline!"**_

_**Vange frowned. "I guess," she said, forlornly chewing a piece of spicy chicken. "Still second. If I had just studied a little harder from my final exam, I might have actually been first."**_

"_**You're too hard on yourself, kid," Van told her. "Maybe if you had given your professor a lap dance, but now…"**_

"_**DAD!"**_

"_**I'm kidding. Relax."**_

_**Vera grinned mischievously. "I'd do it," she said, placing a casual elbow on the table. **_

"_**Really, Vera?" Vange asked flatly. "**_**Really**_**?"**_

_**The younger brunette dissolved into giggles. "I'm kidding! Relax!"**_

"_**Vera, elbows." Van gestured at his middle daughter; she took her arms off the table. "Don't bait your sister; that's my job. And just 'cuz you've got bigger tits than a twenty-three-year old doesn't mean you have to brag about it."**_

"_**DAD!"**_

"_**What can I say?" Vera laughed. "I'm god's gift to men."**_

"_**VERA! Mom, do something about them!" **_

"_**Sorry, Vange," Laura replied. She was used to such crass comments from her frisky, if adorable spouse. "Thirty years of marriage, and he's never listened to me once."**_

_**Van smiled. "But I'm a fun old geezer! Especially in the bedroom…"**_

"_**Sure, honey."**_

"_**DAD!" Vera buried her head in her arms. "Ugh, why did I have to be born into this family…?" Van just laughed and went back to eating. Vera and Eva dissolved into giggles. **_

"_**SO!" Laura interjected again, "Vera." Her middle daughter glanced around. "Have you – stop begging, Milo – found a ride to that manga convention of yours in California?"**_

"_**You pronounce it 'mong-guh!' Not 'mang-guh!'" Vera corrected her mother irately. That was a pet peeve of hers. "And it's not a manga convention, it's an anime convention. And it's all the way across the country! It's not like I can just call up Andi or Qwanisha and say 'Hey, wanna fly with me to Hollywood this weekend?' Come on, mom, I'm old enough to fly by myself! I can call a taxi, I can drive, I can read a map, I KNOW not to talk to strangers. Can't I just go by myself?!"**_

"_**Absolutely not, young lady," Laura replied without hesitation. "What happens if you do go alone and you get in a car crash, or get injured, or get kidnapped, or take drugs, or –!"**_

"_**I wouldn't take drugs if you **_**paid**_** me,**_** moth****er."**

"_**My point **_**is**_** that if you get in trouble all the way over there in California, no one will be close enough to help you."**_

"_**Except the convention security. And the police. And the fire department. And the National Guard…"**_

"_**You're not going alone," Laura told her. "And that's final."**_

_**Vera fumed in the silence, glaring daggers at her stupid overprotective mother. She'd be fine! Minors did things like this all the time and came back unscathed.**_

**But some of them don't,**_** her inner Vange pointed out.**_

**Stay out of this! **_**Vera shot back.**_

**You know it's true.**

_**The younger brunette fell silent, both mentally and physically, stewing in her violent fantasies as she tried to think up a convincing argument. It was true, she did know it. In fact, most parents wouldn't even trust their seventeen-year-old daughter to attend an anime con in their own backyard, let alone on the other side of the country. She was incredibly lucky just to have the opportunity of going. **_**Stupid inner Vange…!**

_**Wait a minute. **_

_**Her face lit up. **_**Vange!**

"_**Vange could take me!" she exclaimed, ecstatic with her genius solution to the problem. "She's a responsible adult, and she's my sister! You'd trust Vange to take me to the con, right?!"**_

_**Laura looked a bit hesitant. "Well, yes, I suppose." She looked at her eldest daughter. "How about it? Can you take your sister to the convention in California?"**_

_**Vange's eyes widened slightly. "I'm busy then."**_

"_**You don't even know when it is!" Vera protested. **_

"_**When is it?"**_

"_**It's –"**_

"_**I'm busy."**_

_**Laura frowned at Vange. "Really?" she asked. "Because you told me just this afternoon that you had no plans for the entire summer."**_

_**Vange went a little pale. "I…"**_

_**Vera grinned, smelling victory. She had her ride to California.**_

Now – seated on a bed on the Thousand Sunny inside a crack-induced delusional state, being fitted with bikinis almost double her cup size – Vera almost wished she hadn't put her big sister on the spot back then. The brunette facepalmed at the memory. Aw, sheesh! She was going to be in _deep_ yogurt when the medics finally worked this crap out of her system…!

Through her distress, she heard Robin say something. "Watashi wa kanojo ni tekigō suru subete no mizugi o motte imasen." There was that word, "_mizugi_" again.

"Watashi mo!" Nami replied, sounding frustrated. "Kanojo no oppai wa amarini mo kuso chīsai!"

The brunette's loose hair went flying as her head whipped up. She couldn't pretend to understand all of that, but she knew two of those words. "_Oppai_" and "_chīsai_."

_Boobs_ and _small_.

Something inside Vera snapped.

"NOT ALL OF US CAN HAVE SUCH INHUMANLY LARGE TITS AS YOU!" Practically breathing fire, she crossed the room and grabbed Robin and Nami's boobs – one for each hand. "I mean, _look_ at these things!" Vera shrieked, squeezing for emphasis. "They're freaking _ridiculous_!"

Robin's eyes went wider than she'd ever seen in the anime. Nami turned bright red and screamed at the top of her lungs, swinging wildly at Vera as she protested the rough treatment of her gargantuan lady lumps. The brunette swiftly avoided the blows. She knew exactly which way to go to avoid Nami's fists, after all.

After a few more cruel squeezes, Vera felt like she'd gotten her point across. Satisfied, she let go and plopped herself back down on the bed. _At least there's an up side to all this_, the girl thought. _It's a hallucination, so I don't have to care about the consequences of my actions in the long run. I can just have fun!_

WHACK.

"OW!" Vera grabbed at the back of her head, where Nami's fist had just soundly pounded her skull. _Okay,_ she amended, gritting her teeth. Down side… pain._ Even my mental projection of Nami has one heck of a temper. Owowowowow!_

* * *

"I cannot _believe_ she did that!" Nami bellowed, her fist clenched in fury. The navigator crossed her arms over her chest. "I feel so violated…"

Robin was at a total loss for words. Stunned, she blinked at pale copper skin of Vera's back, which had curled over and was trembling with pain from Nami's blow. Just when the archeologist thought she was beginning to understand Vera's mentality… the otherworlder had to go and do something like that.

_She's so strange. And so self-assured, _Robin thought, watching with fascination as Vera sat up and stuck her tongue out at Nami. _She shows no signs of remorse, or even embarrassment. Like, she lives by the knowledge that life is temporary. It's so…_

_Admirable._

Robin smiled. "Navigator-san."

Nami whirled around. "What?!" she demanded, her cheeks still stained red with chagrin as the older woman walked back to the dresser.

The archeologist reached into it one last time, rooting towards the bottom of the drawer in search of one particular swimsuit; a glittering gold string bikini. It was a bit too ostentatious for her, and had grown too small for her anyway over the last two years. Finally, her fingers met the suit's silky material. She pulled it out, her smile that of quiet triumph as she walked back over to Nami and their – special – guest.

"How about this?" Robin proposed, untying all the strings.

Vera realized what she was doing before Nami did. Her eyes lit up, and she bounced her knees on the bed, twisting quickly before she landed; the result was an energetic half-turn that presented her back to Robin. She eagerly pulled her long, heavy tresses out of the way to give Robin easy access. The archeologist couldn't help but laugh.

"What are you doing?" Nami asked.

The older woman reached a hand around Vera's torso to grab the other side of the bikini. "You'll see," she replied, tying the strings around her back.

Here had been the stalemate with all the other swimsuits; the girl's problematic cup size. But now, Robin solved that problem with the long, adjustable strings of this bikini, pulling them tight until the top fit her breasts.

"Wow, Robin!" Nami marveled as she tied them off into a neat bow. "You're so smart! I should have thought of that earlier."

"The tie at the back of her neck has more left over than style dictates," Robin observed. "But at least it fits now." Vera quickly slipped on the bottoms and – in another bizarre show of self-security – patted her breasts and gave them an experimental bounce, just to make sure she wouldn't fall out. "And look. The color really brings out the ocher tones in her eyes."

Seeming satisfied, Vera grinned and twisted around, hand raised. "Cool!"

Robin realized she was being offered a high-five. She hesitated, then delicately slapped Vera's palm; the brunette smiled even wider and hopped off the bed. "Let's go, Robin-kasan!" she called, jumping from foot to foot in excitement. "Nami-neechan!"

_Kasan? _Robin laughed quietly. "I'm a mother figure now, am I?"

Nami raised an eyebrow. "How does she get by calling me 'Nami-neechan'?" she asked incredulously of no one in particular. Nonetheless, Vera giggled, seeming pleased about what she'd decided to call them, and darted out the door… dancing and spinning in the hallway as she waited for them to follow her.

After a moment, the two women smiled at each other and got to their feet. That sky stalker could be pretty darn adorable when she wanted to be.

* * *

Back in the kitchen, Luffy set down his empty bowl.

"Phew!" The rubber man burped and laughed, patting his belly. "I'm full!" he announced with a grin. He bounced out of his chair and waddled out onto the deck: "Better go get my trunks back on!"

Suddenly, a shadow came over Luffy. "Huh?"

He glanced up at the periwinkle sky over his head, sunlight warming the crown of his signature straw hat. "Oooh, cool!" he exclaimed. "The clouds got bigger and puffier! They look like white cotton candy…"

Luffy gazed for a moment longer, then resumed his journey across the deck. "Swimming, swimming! Finally gonna go swimming~!" he sang.

"Luffy-san?"

"Hm?" Luffy looked towards the source of the voice; a tall skeleton with a black afro and pink heart sunglasses, gazing pensively out onto the horizon. "Oh! Hey, Brook!" he greeted his musician, joining him at the rail. "Whatcha lookin' at?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Shishishi! You're funny!" Luffy snickered. "Still, what are you doing, staring off into space like that? We're gonna resume the testing soon! Get excited!"

Zoro opened one eye grouchily. "Get excited about what?"

Luffy twisted his head around at the swordsman, who was leaning back against the mast. "Oh, Zoro! I didn't see you there! Where were you at lunch?"

"I got kicked out, remember?!"

"Shishishishishi!" Luffy snickered again. "Well, there was more lunch for me, then! I'm gonna go get my swimsuit back on…"

Suddenly, a skeletal hand touched his shoulder. "Wait, Luffy-san."

The rubber captain paused at Brook's tone. "What is it?" Luffy asked. The musician sounded serious.

"Please, are you sure you should be doing this? This… thing? From what I hear, even before you ate your Devil's Fruit, you weren't that good a swimmer. And an unknown power as your only lifeline? My own experience aside, I can't help but hesitate at the notion."

"How do you know about before I ate my Devil Fruit?"

Brook waited for it to occur to the rubber man.

Suddenly, Luffy touched his fist into his other palm. "Ooooh, right!" he exclaimed. "The fourth segment of that documentary thingie!" Zoro was suddenly fully awake. "Ha ha, that was weird, wasn't it?" Luffy touched his straw hat. "Still, it was still nice to see Shanks again. Even if it wasn't for real."

Brook watched his captain's expression. "Don't you feel unnerved, at all?"

"Of course I do! But it was just a bunch of crappy pictures. Nothing worth panicking over, and I trust Vera. She's cool!"

Zoro's face darkened. "Luffy, I think you're making a mistake."

"Huh? Why?"

_Clueless…!_ "It just doesn't feel right," Zoro growled through his teeth, deciding not to mention the unnerving details of his own little encounter with her. "She gives off this _aura_… it makes me feel like I'm walking on broken glass."

Luffy blinked at him. "Aura? What are you _talking_ about?"

Suddenly, Brook gasped. "Skull shock!" the skeleton shrieked. "Now I understand you, Zoro-san… Yohohoho!"

Brook grinned.

"You like her, don't you?"

"LIKE HELL I'D LIKE HER!" Zoro screamed. "That perverted stalker?! The _hell_ kind of sick thinking is that, Brook?!"

"Yohohohoho! Zoro-san, your face is like an angry radish!"

"SHUT UP, SKULL JOKE!"

Franky poked his head out of the galley doors. "Did I hear someone say 'pervert?'" he asked cheerfully.

Zoro tried to calm himself down as the rest of their nakama trickled out onto the deck, chattering about various things; the testing, the risks. Brook turned back to Luffy, his face sober. "Just be careful out there, captain…" he said.

Luffy grinned. "I'll be fine! I always am!"

With that, the rubber boy took off, zigzagging around his crew as he barreled across the deck. "Look out, move it! AH! Sheesh, Usopp, I told you to move! Watch out, I gotta change!" He dashed inside, speeding towards the men's quarters.

The cloud of dust in his wake had barely settled… when the other door opened and admitted Robin, Nami, and Vera; all clad in glorious bikinis.

The beautiful threesome looked around. "Sheesh," Nami groaned, "what'd we miss here?"

"UWOOOOOH!"

Sanji spun over to the girls, hearts pulsing in his eyes and mouth and singing his usual dorky praise. "Nwami-swaaaaan~! Robin-chwaaaaan~! Vera-chwaaaaan~! You are so beautiful, more radiant than the _sun_! My angels of love!"

Vera giggled at Sanji. She lifted her heavy curls, striking a sexy pose for her adoring blonde fan. Something in his brain exploded. The cook swooned, "_Mellorine_…" and folded to the deck like a piece of wet tissue paper.

Zoro tried his best to blend in with the mast. _Shitty ero-cook! Maybe she won't notice me…_

No such luck. Vera's eyes scrolled over to the head of bright green hair, finding him easily against the dark Adam's wood. Zoro stiffened as he felt her clinging gaze run up and down his body – he avoided her eyes casually, but still held back a shudder at that hair-raising balance of desire and hate.

She took a step towards him.

_Crap, she's coming this way! _The swordsman braced himself as those light footsteps padded slowly, deliberately, across the lawn. _ Don't acknowledge her, Zoro. Stay strong. _

She was almost there. _Don't move._

The footsteps stopped beside him. In his iron concentration, Zoro felt a bead of sweat roll down his spine. _She's not going to psyche _me_ out! No way in hell!_

* * *

Vera hunkered down beside the bored-looking marimo. She held out her hand. "Give me Chibi Zoro, baka marimo!" the brunette ordered. "Or something bad will happen to you."

Silence.

Maybe he hadn't heard her.

Vera thrust her hand in his face. "Oi, Santoryuu! Plushie! Now!"

He didn't respond.

"Last chance!" she warned him. He didn't even twitch. There was no chance he hadn't heard her, this time. He was _ignoring_ her. For some reason, that ticked Vera off to no end; Zoro – the mosshead One Piece swordsman with no sense of direction – was purposefully _ignoring_ her demands. It was flipping _infuriating_!

"Fine!" Vera growled. Zoro's eyelid twitched, but it might have been her imagination. "Just remember, you asked for it!" She raised her hand…

And brought it down as hard as she could onto her own knee.

_**SMACK**_!

Vera threw herself to the deck. "Owwww! Zoro, why'd you do thaaat?!" the girl sobbed, holding her cheek as if she'd been struck. "SANJI-KUUUN!"

The swordsman actually jumped. "Nanda?!"

"_Zoro_!"

"Nani mo shimasendeshita, Nami!" Zoro protested. "OI!"

"TEMMMMMEEEEE!" Sanji came out of nowhere, blazing with Dante's eighth inferno. Zoro whipped out his swords and barely managed to block the cook's furious kick, meant to crush his skull. "_Teme_…" Sanji snarled. He was so angry he was past coherent speech.

The swordsman shot a wide-eyed look at Vera.

She smirked at him from behind her new secret weapon. "Sic him, Sanji-kun!" she wailed, every inch a damsel in distress.

"Matte!" Zoro screamed in outrage, realizing what she had done. "_C__hijo_ –!"

Anything else that he might have said was lost in the onslaught of Sanji's fury. Vera smiled and took her hand off her cheek; she had to admit, she was enjoying the view of Zoro being driven back across the deck by her golden-haired knight. _Well, that was fun._

Then she got onto her hands and knees, eyes scouring the lawn. _Oh! I wonder if he dropped Chibi Zoro!_

"ORYAAAAAA!"

A familiar yell made Vera jump. _What the crap…? _she thought. Suddenly, she had all the wind knocked out of her as Luffy grabbed her around the waist and threw her over his shoulder, heading at top speed for the side of the ship. Vera realized with a start that – the Sunny being a good-sized brig sloop (she'd looked it up on Wikipedia) – it was at least a twenty-foot free fall to the surface of the water. She wasn't a pansy, far from it, but…

"Choto matte, Luffy!" Vera shrieked.

"Luffy-san!" she heard Brook call after them. But Luffy showed no signs of waiting; Vera could do nothing but scream as the rubber man let out a wild Tarzan cry and threw himself out into open space.

* * *

Brook watched – both fascinated and terrified – as Vera's power began to take over. Countless long, shimmering ropes of light whiplashed around Luffy's chest like the tentacles of an enraged kraken, while shorter, finer threads burrowed into his shoulder and the side of his head. They choked his muscles, catching and tangling in his bloodstream to create bright, glowing knots that soon spangled the rubber man's every organ, every vein. Then, as quickly as they'd formed… the knots snarled and caught fire. White blaze raced back along his body, reaching into every extremity – until Luffy radiated bright as an exploding star. As bright as Vera herself.

It all took place in a fraction of a second. Brook's jaw dropped.

Then gravity took hold, and the two glowing figures were sent plummeting towards the waves. The musician couldn't help but think Vera had one of the loudest screams he had ever heard.

_Splash_.

"Ah!" The sound of them hitting the water jolted Brook out of his reverie. The skeleton jumped and rushed to the side of the Sunny with Nami, Robin, Usopp, Chopper, and Franky, leaning over her railing to scour the waves below. "Luffy-san! Vera-san!" he called. "Are you all right?"

There was a long moment… in which the only sounds were that of the ocean, and the cries of a solitary seagull flying overhead.

Then, Luffy's head broke the surface. "Pwahh!"

Treading water, he shook his head around. "Ow, I got water in my ear!" He grinned and waved at his nakama. "Don't worry, we're fine!"

* * *

Vera coughed. Her nose and throat stung like crap. "Speak for yourself…" she croaked, clinging to Luffy's muscular back and feeling like she'd just swallowed half the ocean.

* * *

Luffy glanced back at his waterlogged passenger. "Hm?"

Up on the deck, Nami sighed in relief. "Well, at least we know that still works." She pushed off slightly, grabbing the red-and-white life ring that they'd tied to the Sunny's rail. "Take this!" she yelled, tossing it.

The red-and-white inflatable ring landed with a smack; Luffy blinked away the drops of seawater that splashed into his eyes. "What's that for?!"

"It's a lifeline!" Nami replied. She plucked at the slack in the long rope the life ring was tied to. "In case Vera gets separated from you!"

"Oh, Vera will be fine! She's with me!"

"It's _you_ we're worried about, ya idiot!" the navigator shouted, brandishing her fist at him, but as usual, Luffy had activated the uncanny ability that teenage boys had to shut off their ears. The rubber man – actually, not so much anymore – began to dog-paddle away, leaving the life ring where it had landed.

"Come on, Vera!" she heard him saying. "Let's go have an adventure!"

Nami groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Ugh! Would it kill him to listen to me just _one time_? Sanji-kun! You're gonna have to be on standby in case that moron starts drowning…"

"Yes, Nami-swan~!" Sanji cried.

Zoro took that as an opportunity to launch his own assault. The cook blocked it, and suddenly found himself on the retreat. "Bastard! Surprise attacks are unsportsmanlike!"

Zoro swung his sword down at the blonde. "Don't you _dare_ tell me what's unsportsmanlike, damn ero-cook!"

Nami sighed, allowing their fight to fade into the background; it was harder than it usually was. A cool breeze blew against her warm skin. The sky was clear. She didn't feel any storms coming. But nonetheless, a snake of cold dread lay coiled in the pit of her stomach… just waiting to strike. _Be careful, Luffy,_ she prayed._ Please. I don't want to be short one captain when this day is out._

Or one otherworlder, for that matter.

* * *

The sunlight didn't help her iris's irritation, either. Bright scimitars of sunlight rode the crests of the azure sea, and although the ocean was relatively calm – and the view spectacular – the waves still slapped around her with enough force to fling its stinging spray into Vera's eyes. She rubbed them for what felt like the hundredth time in not two minutes.

Finally, she just squeezed her eyes shut; foregoing sight for comfort. The brunette wrapped her arms around Luffy's neck, resting her chin on his head as the waves continued to slap lightly around them.

_I'm bored._

Vera sighed quietly. Still, it was nice… all of this. The summer sun warming her hair and shoulders, the massaging caress of the sea cooling her legs, the chaste pressure of her breasts swelling against Luffy whenever she took a breath. His form was hard and strong and reassuring as he paddled through the waves. Vera took another deep breath, enjoying the feel of pressing against his back once more.

On a sudden impulse, she nuzzled into the smooth skin between his neck and his shoulder. She could feel his heartbeat, thudding in his back, warm and strong against her own.

"Mmmm." _So nice…_

"Shizumeru!" Luffy shouted.

"Wha –?" Vera was cut off mid-question when Luffy suddenly dove under. Taken by surprise, she choked on a mouthful of seawater: "_Hurgleblurgle_… PAH!" she gasped when her head broke the surface. Dripping, the girl coughed violently and punched Luffy in the shoulder. "Warn people about these things, ya frickin' baka!" she yelled.

Luffy looked around. "Ah, wari!" he apologized with a grin.

Vera let her tongue hang out. "Bleh. Now everything tastes like seaweed. Thanks a _lot_!"

"You're welcome!"

Vera nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of a phrase that she recognized, before the irritation came back with a vengeance. "Oh, so _now_ you speak English!"

"Iie."

* * *

"No," Luffy replied with a grin. "After Zoro knocked you out, I just asked Robin what 'thanks' and 'you're welcome' were in your language! Now that I think about it, she seemed to be a little surprised that I wanted to know, too. I wonder why? Why are you surprised? Oh, right, you don't speak my language. UGH_, _this is so_ frustrating_!"

"_Why_?"

* * *

"_Riyū_?" Vera tasted the word, letting it roll off her tongue. If "doku" was _where_, "nani" was _what_, and "toki" was _when_… then "riyū" was probably _why_!

"Riyū nani?" she asked. Probably wasn't correct grammar, but still.

* * *

"Why. What?"

Luffy looked at her. "What?"

"No. Why."

"Why what?"

"What?"

"What? Ooh, my head!" The rubber man felt his brain dangerously close to burning out. "Let's just stop talking!"

Vera had practically gone cross eyed. "Yes."

Luffy sighed in relief and resumed paddling. The sun beat down on his head. A seagull cried out. In the silence, the rubber man found himself extremely aware of the seconds ticking by.

Bored, he splashed a hand into the crest of a passing wave.

_Flaboop!_

"Shishishi," the raven snickered. "It makes a funny noise!" He slapped another wave. _Flaboop! Flabop! _

Luffy giggled. He began to kick his legs, arms spinning like propeller blades as he plowed through the happy blue ocean. Refreshing sea spray slapped his face; Luffy laughed aloud. Being buoyant was so fun! And swimming – without the clunky, hindering assistance of floaties – was an experience like no other.

At the sudden acceleration, he felt Vera's thighs tighten around his hips. That was when the captain remembered… he wasn't doing this with his own power.

"_**Please, are you sure you should be doing this?" Brook pleaded. "This… thing? From what I hear, even before you ate your Devil's Fruit, you weren't that good a swimmer. And an unknown power as your only lifeline? My own experience aside, I can't help but hesitate at the notion."**_

"_**It just doesn't feel right," Zoro growled through his teeth. "She gives off this aura… it makes me feel like I'm walking on broken glass."**_

Luffy came to a stop and turned his head, staring critically at Vera. She didn't _seem_ to have any kind of aura; none that would set Zoro on edge, anyway! The English-speaking stalker-angel actually seemed a little bored. Her foreign features were passive; her chocolate, gold-flecked eyes gazing lazily back at his scrutinizing black ones. Pearls of seawater clung to her hair and eyelashes, making them glitter and shimmer in the sunlight… like an angelic being that had indeed fallen from the heavens, disheveled, yet beautiful and glowing with her last reserves of holy light.

Vera yawned widely.

She smacked her lips – unashamedly ruining the image – and blinked at Luffy. "What?"

"What's it like where you come from?" Luffy asked. He was genuinely curious. He had been ever since yesterday; in the brig, when she confirmed she was from another world. The raven-haired boy smiled eagerly. "Is it cool? Do you have family there? Like, angel families? Are there _pirates_? Oooh, what kinds of food do they have there?! I bet it's yummy!"

"My world?" Vera repeated. She opened her mouth, then closed it… obviously struggling with her tiny vocabulary. It was a while before she answered.

But eventually, she did. "Food. Yummy… yes. But, Sanji food? Better!"

Luffy grinned. "Shishishi, of course!" he agreed. "Sanji's the best cook in _any_ world!"

Vera smiled back at him. "Yes!" She closed her eyes, spending another moment with her thoughts. "Pirates?" she continued. "Um… not really."

"_Really_?!" Luffy pursed his lips. That was a let down. "Huh!"

"Family. Yes. My world? Cool?" She actually snorted. "Ha! No. Your world better." Vera wrapped her arms around Luffy, nuzzling into his neck with a sly, seductive gaze. "Boys better, too," she purred.

"Oh, okay," Luffy replied. He kicked his legs slightly to keep their heads over a larger wave. "Tell me about your family!"

"Hm." There was another long pause; one could almost hear the cogs turning in her head. "Six. Cute little sister, boring big sister, pretty mom, funny me, funny dad, funny dog."

Luffy looked back around. "You count the dog?"

Vera smiled again. "Milo. Red. Big. Ugly. But cute, too. Funny."

Thinking about that, the rubber boy ended up with a rather spectacular mental image; a humungous, bloodred wolf with a squashed snout, weiner-dog body, dangling tongue, big fluffy ears and sparkly eyes. "Damn, Milo's a monster!" Luffy gasped. "Cool! You have a monster for a pet! Do all people in your world have Milos? Does he play ball? Do you miss him?"

* * *

Vera blinked, overwhelmed by Luffy's tumbling Japanese. She heard "Milo" and "bakemono" several times… Milo was obvious and "bakemono" meant monster, but still.

"Nani?" _What?_

The dark-haired boy pursed his lips, frustrated. "Anata wa kare o ketsujō ka?" _Do you_… Vera translated mentally. _Something Milo_.

"Do I what Milo?" she asked.

"Anata wa," Luffy pointed at her, then hugged himself, "kare –?"

"Of course I love my dog, what are you –?!" Then Vera hesitated: _Wait, love is "ai," not "kare." So what else fits in that blank? Do I hug Milo? Do I miss Milo? Oh, that fits._

"Do I miss Milo?"

Vera rested her chin on Luffy's head, feeling like her heart had suddenly been swallowed in the ocean's deep, cobalt shadows. Yeah, she did miss Milo; that big, fluffy, messy mutt. Mom and dad… and Eva. Vange, too – heck, their entire relationship was living proof that you didn't have to like someone to love them.

_I wonder if they miss me… _Vera wondered.

_You moron! _

The brunette was tickled by her subconscious's amazing sense of irony; the speaker was none other than Inner Vange. Nostalgic, she could almost picture her mature adult sister scolding her – the glass in those sexy-librarian frames gleaming at her in disapproval. A personally manicured hand tossing those short, well-kept curls that always smelled like expensive coffee. As a medical student, Vange did love her morning cup of joe, and never could stand people who lacked common sense.

_Your _brain_ is the only thing that's missing! _the older woman went on. _And quite literally, too! Everybody is sitting right beside your hospital bed, and when you wake up we will beat you within an inch of your life because we were so worried. You know it's true._

Vera wilted. _Yeah… I know._

_Then stop wallowing in senseless fantasies and focus on waking up! _Inner Vange told her, starting to sink back into whatever corner of Vera's subconscious that she inhabited. _And quit with the inner dialogue. At this rate you'll actually start talking to yourself, and we all know that's the first step on the road to the funny farm._

_Ha! Only you would say something like that!_

_Just shut up and answer your hallucinatory rubber boy. I bet he's starting to wonder what's wrong with you. _

Luffy cocked his head to one side, trying to look at the girl who was resting her chin on his hair. "Daijobu, Vera?"

"I'm fine," Vera replied, her mouth quirking to one side. "Daijobu ka." A contented smile spread across her face. _Better than fine, actually…_

Suddenly, a cool wind blew hard over the water. Goosebumps rose on Luffy and Vera's wet skin; violet shivers ran up both their backs.

"WACHOO!" Luffy sneezed.

Vera hugged closer to the rubber man's warm body. But then, as quickly as it had changed, the air returned to its normal temperature. Her goosebumps deflated. She glanced up at the white, fluffy clouds, dumbstruck.

_What was that?_

* * *

Overhead, the lone seagull – which had been calm until now – began to fly madly in the opposite direction.

Something had changed in the atmosphere. Nami felt the cold, heavy snake of terror uncoil its way from her stomach – forcing its way up her throat, choking her lungs.

The navigator tore her way across the deck and slammed her palms on the rail. "LUFFY!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "GET YOUR ASS BACK TO THE SHIP! NOW!" The entire crew stared at Nami, stunned.

"Navigator-san, what's wrong?" Robin asked.

Nami didn't even hear her. "LUFFY!"

It was no use. They were too far out. The navigator slammed her fist into the rail. "Damn!" she yelled. She whirled around, casting her eyes in every direction. "Sanji!" she called. "Oh, where the heck is that guy when you _need_ him?! _Sanji_!"

Robin's pupils dilated in a horrible realization. "Is it…?"

"Yes!" Nami turned back, her eyes frantic. "It's a cyclone, a big one! And it's coming in fast!"

"WHAT?!" everyone shrieked. "_SANJI_!"

**…**

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ship, Sanji turned. "Was that Nami-san just now?" the cook exclaimed.

Zoro, who had been bracing himself for the next attack, raised an eyebrow. "Eh?!"

The blonde glared back at the marimo. "We'll finish this later, you shitty swordsman!" he growled. He took off for the lawn deck, leaving Zoro standing all alone. "Nami-san!"

The swordsman was outraged. "I didn't do anything in the first place, and now you're just going to leave me hanging?!" He ran after him. "_Get the hell back here, you shitty ero-cook_!"

**…**

Sanji skidded onto the lawn deck. "Nami-san!" he exclaimed.

Nami whirled on him, screaming. "Where the hell were _you_?!"

"I was just finishing things with the marimo, my sweet…" Suddenly, something about their navigator's manner made the cook pause. Nami was terrified out of her wits. But not for herself. For some other reason. "Nami-san, what's wrong?" Sanji demanded, grabbing her by the shoulders. "You're white as a sheet! What's happening?!"

"I'll tell you what's happening!" Chopper shrieked. "A humungous cyclone is barely minutes away, and while you're screwing around with Zoro, Luffy and Vera are still out there!"

Sanji felt he'd been punched in the stomach. "_What_?"

"They're in danger, Sanji! Help them!" Nami pleaded. "And hurry!"

The blonde had removed both his shoes and his tie by the time she finished her sentence. "Leave everything to me!" he said, casting his jacket aside and leaping over the rail, cutting into the water like a hot knife through butter. Despite the desperate situation, he grinned. Unlike his nakama, Sanji had grown up on the sea. No one could swim as fast as he could.

_If anyone's going to save Vera-chan and the shitty captain,_ the cook thought fiercely. _It's sure as hell gonna be me!_

Sanji's head broke the surface of the water. He struck out towards the distant dot of color bobbing on the waves. The blonde sliced through the ocean like a torpedo, nothing else in his mind but to get Luffy and Vera back to the Thousand Sunny as fast as he could. In thirty seconds, the cook got close enough to think he might be able to call to them.

"Oi! Shitty rubber bastard!" Sanji yelled, still swimming. But the wind was picking up, slinging smarting drops into his eye and carrying his voice back towards the Sunny; away from the floating pair. _Damn!_

Sanji sucked in a breath and dove underwater. Without the interference of the wind and the waves, he could swim even faster. Suddenly he spotted Luffy's legs, swilling the water lazily a couple dozen yards away. _There!_

The cook braced himself. "_Blue Walk_!"

Streaking through the water, Sanji crossed the daunting distance in an instant. He reached out and felt his hand close around Luffy's ankle. HELL _YES!_

But it was too late.

Nami felt something break in the atmosphere. "No…" she whispered.

* * *

_**A/N: "Requiem for a Dream" OST Soundtrack**_

_**PRESS PLAY**_

* * *

It was as if a great god had turned the switch from light into dark. Clouds curdled into pitch black anvils miles high, their bellies swollen to bursting with the Grand Line's damnation. The air shuddered. The sea boiled.

Then the skies opened, vomiting torrents of rain, hail, and lightning as thunder crashed so loud the Strawhats felt it in their bones. The ocean – so calm only moments before – roiled in fury; Nami saw a ten foot swell. Then a twenty. Then a thirty.

"_**NO**_!" she screamed.

**…**

Sanji saw it coming; the enormous, roiling wall of the cyclone's power. He barely had time to strengthen his hold on Luffy's leg before one of the massive currents caught him up, yanking him violently away from the shivering, turbulent surface of the water. Luffy and Vera choked as they were sucked under as well.

Bubbles exploded out of Sanji, the sheer force of the ocean emptying his lungs. He resisted the instinct to inhale and sealed his mouth shut, pulling Luffy and Vera closer to his chest. Breathing water now would just make things worse.

The blonde braced himself to race to the surface. _Blue Walk!_

Sanji had been expecting to dash through the water, nearly effortlessly, just like moments before. But when nothing happened…

Sanji panicked, his brain scrambling to stop himself from trying to breathe. He failed. Lukewarm brine poured down his windpipe and into his lungs. The cook's vision flickered black. He exploded into violent coughing, barely aware that his head had broken the surface.

He reeled in confusion, catching the tiniest glimpse of the Thousand Sunny before the ocean claimed him again.

_What the hell was that just now?!_

**…**

Back on the surface, the Thousand Sunny was a whirlwind of panicked activity. "Take in the sails!" Nami ordered, the rest of the Strawhats rushing about in an attempt to survive the killer cyclone. "Batten down the hatches! FRANKY! I said don't _touch_ that helm!"

Franky made a desperate grab for the rail as the deck pitched and yawed under his feet. "I know, Nami-sis, but this storm's a ship killer! Sunny can't _take_ much more!"

The navigator clenched her teeth, and looked halfway up the foremast. "Brook!" she yelled. "Anything yet?!"

"They still haven't come up!" came the skeleton's reply.

"Keep looking!" Nami ordered. "We're not moving this ship until they're all back on board!"

Suddenly, Zoro kicked open a door.

"All right, where the hell is that shitty cook?!" the swordsman demanded. He marched out onto the tempest, his furious face rotating back and forth as he scanned the deck for a certain blonde individual. "I can't see a freakin' thing! Who turned out the lights?!"

"We're in the middle of a cyclone, if case you _hadn't_ noticed!" Nami shouted, knocking him over the head. "And where have you been?!"

"I got lost!"

"In our own ship?!" Nami let out a wail of frustration. "AUGH! Brook, anything _yet_?!"

Atop the foremast, the howling tempest battered Brook's frail frame, the skeleton's vertebrae struggling to lift an afro heavy with rain as his gaze panned over the sea's magnificent fury; search for something, anything other than the crashing fifty-foot swells. "Still nothing!" the musician moaned. "Nami-san, I fear the worst may have…"

Suddenly, a faint glimmer caught his attention. "Wait, what's that?"

Brook squinted through Usopp's borrowed binoculars.

The glimmer became stronger, drifting towards the roiling surface of the waves. Now, Brook could be positive; it was the ethereal glitter of Vera's power. The skeleton was about to let out a cry to tell Nami of this marvelous discovery – when he saw something that made his throat close up. If he had one.

Sanji's head popped up from the maelstrom. Brook couldn't hear him, but he could see the cook coughing up huge amounts of seawater, choking and gasping in a desperate attempt to fill his lungs. He spun towards the Sunny, his eyes wide, pleading… then the ocean forced itself down his throat; the blonde flailed, choking, as the raging sea swallowing him once again.

Dread settled over Brook like a physical thing. Sanji was glowing. And not in a good way.

"_Nami-san_!" the musician wailed. "Sanji-san… Vera-san's power has affected him! He's in danger too, now! They're _all_ in danger!"

The navigator's eyes widened. "What?!"

"How is the shit cook in 'danger'?" Zoro barked. "He can't be affected by her! He's not a Devil Fruit user!" Then he paused, looking between his nakama in confusion: "… Is he?"

"You moron!" Usopp yelled from the other side of the deck. "It's not just Devil powers! It's your freakish superhuman strength, too!"

"Since_ when_?! I never heard anything like that!" Zoro bellowed. The swordsman seemed genuinely shocked by this new bit of information.

"Oh, that's right! You weren't with us when I announced the results," Chopper realized. "And neither was…"

Suddenly, the little doctor's pupils contracted in shock. He staggered and clung to Nami's leg, fighting the panic that threatened to overwhelm him. "_Neither was Sanji_. He doesn't know about – Zoro, where are you going?!"

The swordsman had tossed off his boots and was dashing for the rail.

Nami gasped. "You _dumbass_!" she yelled, ignoring the bullets of rain that lashed at her exposed skin. "Going after them is just going to create more victims! _OI_!"

Too late. Zoro had already disappeared over the side.

The swordsman dove into the frothing maelstrom, striking out powerfully against its current. His dark, briny enemy was strong – pushing against him beating him, even cutting him with the fast-moving debris already in its grasp; doing everything it could to keep him from rescuing his nakama. But still he made headway. Sanji may have grown up on the sea, but Zoro was a damn good swimmer, too.

**…**

Another massive, twisting current sucked Sanji under. It beat the young man mercilessly from all sides, determined to get inside his body once more and slowly, painfully, kill him. Sanji felt Luffy go limp. _Shit, he passed out! _

_Wait, what about…?!_

He managed to crack open one eye. Blackness crowded at the edges of his vision, but he could still make out Vera's long, billowing hair; lashing out like whips in in the grip of the fearsome current. Her head was buried in his chest. From the agonized look on her face, she had inhaled the water as well. Vera was drowning.

_I have to… _do_ something! _

Sanji turned his head towards the surface, straining to swim. But his lungs were starved of oxygen, his kicks getting weaker and weaker – until his legs weren't moving at all. Against his chest, Vera's struggles had become weak as a butterfly's wings.

Sanji blinked hard as darkness began to close in. _Help…_

Suddenly, he felt a hand fasten around his collar.

Zoro yanked the blonde up towards him. _You shit cook! _he thought furiously at Sanji, getting a good grip on his waist before he grabbed the captain. _Coming out here, not knowing the risks…_

He slung Luffy over his shoulder. _You endangered the lives of three people!_

A light touch on his leg made Zoro jump. The swordsman glanced down at the chijo; she was pale as a ghost, staring up at him with dark, half-drowned eyes. A trail of bubbles escaped from the corner of her mouth. Her expression was deathly afraid, agonized, and instinctively desperate, yet somehow calm enough to be described as… _relieved_. That face rang a bell somewhere in Zoro's brain. It was a face he had made in his sleep, he realized, many times as a child. When he was about to die in a dream… but he knew it was okay, because he knew he would just wake up.

Zoro jiggled his foot, trying to tell the girl to grab on. _Come on! This is no dream, Rosethorne – or angel, or chijo, or _whatever_ you are! You die, it's for _real_! So let me save your sorry ass or the ero-cook will never let me hear the end of it!_

She did not receive his telepathic message.

Slowly, very slow, Zoro saw her close her eyes. She let go of his leg.

The swordsman lunged for her. But just then, another of the death spiral currents caught him in its grasp, yanking the marimo violently towards the ocean floor. It was all he could do to keep his hold on Luffy and Sanji… Zoro shut his eyes, not even able to identify the direction in which the drowning girl was floating. Not that it would have made any difference.

_ Shit. SHIT!_

The swordsman clenched his teeth, trying to hold on to what little air he had left as he waited out the death spiral. His neck twisted at a bizarre angle; for a terrifying instant, he was blinded by electrifying white spots. It seemed like an eternity. But finally, when the current eased, Zoro flipped himself upright – squinting through blinking, darkening eyes.

No sign of her.

All around him, Zoro felt the fury of the storm easing up. The New World was satisfied; it had finally claimed a victim from the Sunny.

_Shit… _

Zoro cursed one last time. Then he released his breath and struck out for the surface, towards the salvation of those dusky golden shafts of sunlight, creeping out from behind the clouds.

* * *

_**A/N: (soundtrack fadeout)**_

* * *

Vera drifted in the dark depths of her mind. She felt unbearably tired… but comfortable, warm, and painless, as if she were wrapped in snuggly cotton sheets.

She smiled inwardly. _I bet that's the hospital bed._

A glitter attracted her attention.

_A light? Oh, sweet, I'm waking up! _the girl realized with a happy shot of endorphins. _The lights of a hospital room! Hey, what's that voice? It's so pretty. Is that Mom? Nah, she wouldn't sound that sing-songy…_

Vera reached towards the radiant light; her fingers snagged onto something. Was it a hand? No, wasn't a hand. An IV line? It _was_ long and thin. Curious, she held onto it tighter, rubbing it – trying to identify its texture.

It felt like… _wet_ _rope_.

Vera opened her eyes to a pale blue sky. _What the heck?_

* * *

Luffy and Sanji were tossed unceremoniously onto the lawn deck, landing with a wet, ungraceful splat.

Franky's head nearly turned a full circle at the sound. "There they are!"

Zoro heaved himself over the rail, gasping like a fish as the entire crew dashed over to them, fussing over the waterlogged men; Chopper immediately started chest compressions on Luffy and Sanji. "I'm so glad you guys are okay!" he wailed. The little doctor was practically sobbing, made worse by the fact that his blue button nose was running something fierce. "Dammit, you bastards, you had me so worried!"

Zoro gulped down lungfuls of sweet oxygen. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking…"

Fountains of seawater spewed from Luffy and Sanji's mouths. The two began to cough and hack, bringing up bile, trickles of blood mixed in from their abused lungs, more brine – and even a small clam, in Luffy's case. Sanji cursed like a sailor with what little breath he had.

"Shit –! _Coff, coff_! Dammit, ow! Holy shit…!" The cook gasped, laying his head back onto the grass. "I'm alive…"

Luffy bounced onto his butt. "Oooh, a clam! Let's eat!"

"You can't just eat random clams, shithead!" Sanji snapped. "You'll get a disease!"

Everyone sighed with relief. "Thank goodness…" Usopp breathed. The anxious sniper pressed a hand to his chest. "I thought my heart was going to explode!"

"They're okay!" Brook exclaimed, sliding down the foremast.

The crew cheered.

However, there was a strange look on Robin's face.

"Swordsman-san," she began, pinning Zoro to the banister with her intense blue gaze."Where is Rosethorne-san?"

_Crap. It figures she'd be the first one to notice…_

Luffy perked up. "Huh?" He shot a look around. "Yeah, where'd Vera go? She was right behind me a second ago. Sheesh, that's the second time she's done that today! VERAAAAAA!"

"It's no use, captain."

Zoro ran his hands through his hair, suddenly feeling a thousand years old. "I lost her in that last current. She's gone."

For a long moment, no one spoke.

"Nonsense!" Luffy proclaimed with a broad smile. "You hid her somewhere, I bet!"

The rubber man sprung to his feet and ran around the ship, hands cupped around his mouth as he yelled: "VERAAA! Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

"You… _lost_ her?"

Sanji's mortified whisper made the swordsman cringe with guilt. He could picture the looks on all of their faces; they must all be so disappointed with him. She was so young, too. Zoro would carry that last, piercing image of her dying eyes – dark and smoldering against a corpse's white features – to his grave. That last fleeting touch, before the ravenous sea had swallowed her whole. But still…

"Maybe it's for the best," Zoro said, gazing out onto the beautiful azure water. It was so calm now, with no sign of the raging tempest of only minutes ago. "This wasn't her world. She didn't belong here, with us."

Nami felt her face fall. He was probably right. Vera had only been a part of their lives for a day and a half now, and they still knew next to nothing about her. But it still didn't stop this bizarre feeling of loss, which burned hot and wet behind her eyes.

"Perhaps…" she whispered.

Many of the other crew members had similar expressions. Others were holding back tears, or simply looked confused.

Robin was one of those. "She had a kind of… charisma," she murmured haltingly.

Luffy rounded on everyone, a frustrated pout on his face. "What's with the long faces, you guys?! It's depressing! She's just _hiding_." Running off, he cupped his hands around his mouth again, shouting at the top of his lungs:

"VERAAAAAA! WHERE'D YOU GOOOOOOO?!"

* * *

"_Veraaaa… doku daaaaa….?_"

Seated on the red-and-white life ring Nami had tossed down before the storm, Vera hocked a good-sized loogie over her knees and into the ocean, trying for distance. However, the sound of Luffy's voice made her lose her concentration. It fell slightly short.

_Gross!_

The brunette cringed and wiped the spit off her leg, longing for a drink of water to wash out the disgusting taste of sea salt in her mouth. This just wasn't cutting it. She turned her head, shooting an irritated glance up at least fifty yards of wet, stringy rope to the Thousand Sunny's railing. Luffy came to a skidding halt. Spotting her, a grin bigger than a peeled banana spread across his face.

"Ha ha!" she heard him laugh. "Souka, raifurain de! _Nice_, Zoro!"

What did Zoro have to do with this? She had grabbed the lifeline on accident.

Vera plopped her chin in her hand, fluttering her fingers them at the rest of the crew – that had suddenly appeared behind hallucination-Luffy. She could see their shocked expressions from over a hundred feet away. _Helloooooo… _

_WAAH!_

Six of them suddenly grabbed the line, pulling with all their strength at the exact same time. Vera swore that she flipped ten feet into the air before a bruising splashdown. Fortunately, the girl popped up almost immediately, spitting out another geyser of seawater.

Perfect. Just_ perfect._

"And I was so close to finally waking up!" Vera muttered to herself, exasperated. "I have the worst luck _ever_."

She hooked her arms into the life ring and held on tight, this time. It turned out that there was no need – only Robin, Zoro, and Nami were left standing, and the hulking marimo seemed to be too busy gawking to pull the stupid rope. The rest of the hallucinatory Strawhats lay in a steaming pile beside them. When she was at the base of the Sunny, a line of hands suddenly sprouted from the hull – Vera would marvel later at how weird Robin's Hana-Hana power looked in first person, but right then she was too frustrated to care. She grabbed the offered limb and allowed it to pull her up.

Zoro's face was hard to read as she climbed clumsily over the railing. The brunette glanced at him flatly. "_Nani_ are ya lookin' at?"

Nami's delicate fingers touched her shoulder. "Daijo–?"

Vera brushed her off lightly. "I am absolutely flipping-diddly perfect," she hissed. "Thanks. For. _Asking_."

Seeming taken aback by her unexpected malice, the busty woman didn't ask again.

Vera eyed the skimpy swimsuit top that barely covered the two things it needed to (stupid Oda!) and stalked away, grumbling. "Frickin' frackin' poopin'…" she muttered, not unlike a witches' incantation. "I need my iPod…"

The door slammed behind her.

* * *

Nami crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously. "What the heck was that about?" she wondered aloud.

Zoro was silent. On the outside, his eyes were hard as flint; but on the inside, the swordsman was in turmoil. He had just resigned himself to the fact that this girl was out of their lives for good – yet here she was again, brushing off a New World cyclone like a fly that buzzed around her head. Zoro didn't understand it. He couldn't. Not for the first time in his life, the swordsman found himself with only two possible explanations.

Either that girl had the best luck in the world… or the heavens themselves were on her side.

Zoro rubbed his aching temples. Thinking like this was giving him a headache, and the adrenaline rush brought on by a particularly violent water rescue was fading; leaving the marimo feeling like he'd been run over by a herd of angry elephants.

_Either way, that's girl's a survivor… _Zoro thought tiredly. _ I'll give her that._

With that, the swordsman wandered in the general direction of the mikan groves, his only thought now that of quiet solace. He could _really_ use a nap.

**.oOo.**

After Luffy and the other's had been scolded by dragon-Nami, the hours passed by relatively quietly. The lone seagull from that afternoon returned with friends from the nearby summer island. Together, the birds jeered loudly at the colorful pirate ship, that is, until Luffy noticed they were made of meat. Daylight faded into dusky golden twilight. Franky dropped the anchor for the night. Sanji called in everyone for dinner, announcing that a couple of shitty birds were making a guest appearance… as the appetizer. The entrée passed in its usual chaotic fury, and the galley echoed with delighted squeals when dessert was brought out; but eventually, like every other night, the meal wound down as each Strawhat ate their fill, leaning back with a satisfied burp or sigh.

Sanji set Robin's after-dinner cup of coffee before her. "Here you are, Robin-chan."

The archeologist gave him a gracious smile. "Thank you, Cook-san."

She picked up the cup, blowing delicately on the steaming black liquid to cool it as Nami spoke: "Well, fierce as that storm was," the Sunny's navigator was saying, "it didn't blow us far off course. We should arrive at the island on schedule, as planned."

Taking a sip of her coffee, Robin's aqua gaze strayed to the plate of food and glass of sweet raspberry mousse that lay untouched – fiercely defended by its cook – at the place across from Sanji's.

"Rosethorne-san still hasn't come out of her room?" she asked casually.

Sullen, Sanji lit a cigarette. "No."

The archeologist tucked away a smirk. Everyone could tell he was embarrassed by having to be saved by Zoro, of all people… and as if to add insult to injury, from _drowning_. Sanji was supposed to be their best swimmer, too. "It's not your fault, you know," Robin told him. "You didn't know that she would affect you."

"Robin-chan…"

She gazed into her coffee cup, pensive. "It's actually rather wondrous. Rosethorne-san has been in our lives for so short a time… and yet the concept of losing her is so saddening."

Nami nodded. "I know. It's really weird! I actually kind of think of her as a little sister now, even if she did grab my boobs." She looked at the archeologist. "Yours too, Robin."

"EEEEEEEEEH?!"

The older woman actually cringed. "Did you _have_ to say that aloud, Navigator-san?"

Franky looked impressed. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "Vera-sis is more perverted than I thought! Maybe I misjudged her." The cyborg grinned, suddenly ecstatic. "We can talk about our perverted fantasies together! Although, I won't be able to relate to her as well, her being a homosexual and all…"

"She's not a homosexual." Zoro cringed as if remembering something unpleasant. "Believe me."

"Oh, okay. It's all good then –!"

Before Nami could, Sanji knocked both of them an inch into the floor. "YOU ARE _NOT_ DISCUSSING CRAP LIKE THAT AT THE DINNER TABLE!" he shrieked, bright crimson with rage.

"_All right, all right…_"

Suddenly, the huge, gelatinous mass that was post-dinner Luffy raised its head. "Stillllll…" their swollen captain drawled. "Why isn't she heeeeeere…?"

Usopp hiccupped. "You guys said she was in a huff. Girls go to their rooms when they're upset. Look there!" The sniper began to pick his teeth.

Nami grinned slyly. "Okay."

_SLAM!_

Everyone jumped as the navigator's fist hit the table, clenched around the bottom ends of nine thin sticks.

Nami's mouth curled up in a twisted smile. "We'll draw straws to see who goes."

Usopp's mouth dropped. "WHAT?!"

Zoro took his face off the floor. "Well, thanks for dinner," he said, walking a little _too_ casually towards the door. "I'll be going now…"

Nami grabbed his collar. "Oh no!" she told him, yanking the swordsman back into his chair. "You're going to draw a straw just like the rest of us!" She thrust the handful of sticks at him. "Here… _you_ can go _first_."

Zoro swallowed, glaring nervously at the straws. "Do I have to?"

"CHOOSE!" Nami yelled.

"Yeesh!" The swordsman jumped and grabbed one.

To his immense relief, it was long. "Phew…" he sighed, then glared up at Nami. "If that's all, I'll be going now."

Foiled, the navigator had no choice but to watch him walk out the door. "Tch!"

She turned to the rest of the crew. "All right, who's next?!"

Sanji was. But his straw was long, much to his disappointment. Chopper also drew a long straw – to his relief. Luffy, Brook, Robin, and Franky all went, and _all_ of them drew long straws. As the odds dwindled, Nami found herself getting nervous. If the short straw was left in her fist, it would be _her_ heading into the belly of the beast!

Finally, Nami found herself facing her last hope. Usopp.

The sniper looked as nervous as she felt. They both seemed to realize that this was it. All or nothing. "Ergh!" Usopp croaked, grabbing at his throat as if choking. "I'm sorry, my I-Can't-Draw-A-Straw-Or-I'll-Die syndrome is kicking in again…!"

Something inside Nami snapped. "Oh, you _coward_!" she yelled. "I'll do it then!"

She swiped the last straw.

It was long.

Her face lit up. Usopp choked as the busty woman laughed aloud, dancing about with her long straw. "I got the last one, I got the last one~! Aha ha ha ha!"

Nami dropped the short stick into his hands and pointed towards the door. "Go get 'er!"

Usopp stared forlornly at the stick in his palms. _Oh cruel ordainer of fate… _he thought to himself.

The sniper got up, trudging like a living zombie towards the threshold – and surely, his unhappy end. _Goodbye cruel world…!_

"Hold on, Long Nose."

Usopp whirled about, eyes sparkling with hope at the sound of Sanji's voice. "Oh, you want to do it?! Thank you ever so much, Sanji-kun! I will be eternally in your debt… hey!"

The cook pushed the untouched plate of food at Usopp's nose. "Give this to Vera, okay?"

Usopp stared at the plate, tears in his eyes. "Sanji-kun!" he sobbed. "You're so cruel, giving a man false hope!"

"You don't want that to go to _waste_, do you?"

The sharpshooter gulped at the look Sanji was giving him; something told him that if he didn't do it, the food wouldn't be the only thing that got wasted.

He accepted it tearfully. "No…"

Suddenly, Chopper straightened up, as if remembering something. "Oh, I have something, too!" The reindeer hopped off his chair and rushed across the room, pushing quickly through the galley doors. "Hold on, Usopp! I'll be right back!" he called.

Usopp blinked, wondering where Chopper could possibly be going. But a few moments later, the doctor returned with something in hand; he gave it to the sharpshooter. "Vera left that on my desk this afternoon!" he gasped, a little short of breath. "Make sure you get it to her?"

The long-nosed man choked, staring at what Chopper had handed him.

A sleek, mirror black screen seemed to gleam maliciously up at Usopp, reflecting a darker, flatter version of his face. Although it was slimmer than his pinkie finger, it weighed far more than he'd expected it to. It was the unnatural device – the supposed "music player" – that Vera had carried into this world. "Ch-Chopper… d-do you even know what this _is_?!"

The little doctor's brow furrowed in confusion. "It's Vera's music player, of course. Why? I thought you guys gave it back to her already, or something. She seemed comfortable enough listening to it." He smiled. "She even played me a song! I couldn't understand the words, but it was really catchy!"

Usopp stared, his jaw practically on the floor as Chopper began to hum and sway back and forth. "La la… 'call me maybe'!" the reindeer sang to himself, oblivious to his disemboweling of the English pronunciation.

"G-Guys!" Usopp stammered, showing the device to the rest of the crew. "Is… is it _okay_ to be giving this back to her?"

No one answered right away.

Then Robin smiled. "Doctor-san seems to be all right."

Nami shrugged. "And she didn't do anything horrible when she had it," the navigator admitted. "I guess it's fine to give it back to her."

"But –!"

"There you have it, Usopp-san!" Brook waved an incredulous sniper towards the door. "Go cheer our stalker angel up! _Yohohoho_!"

Usopp hung his head. Not unlike a prisoner making his way to the gallows, the sharpshooter began the long, arduous trudge to Vera's room, toting his offerings. Perhaps they would grant him favor in the wrathful angel's lair.

"Why do I _always_ get the short end of the stick…?"

* * *

**A/N: Oh, poor Usopp… But no one feels sorry for you. The next chapter is pretty short in comparison to the last two, so hopefully I'll be able to update again within the next TWO frickin' WEEKS! AUGH! Stupid school. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and stay tuned for the next chapter!**

**It has a **_**shower **__**scene**_**. *explosive nosebleed***


	7. Earbuds & Showerheads

**GOMEN'NASAI! School, homework, horrible writer's block, an epic concept for an Artemis Fowl fic to distract me, and almost a month with no updates! I'M SO SORRY! Still… so many reviews! Ten in the first 24 hours! Yay for boob-grabbing and killer cyclones! But now *_dramatic pause_* IT. IS. HERE. Our setting takes place in the room of our notorious heroine, from which no man has escaped unscathed.**

**Read on. If you dareee… =)**

* * *

**Chapter 7:**

**Earbuds & Showerheads**

Usopp planted his feet before the monster's lair, staring down the door as if it would jump off its hinges and attack him as he stood there.

All kidding aside, the sniper felt himself trembling with anxiety. Sanji, one of the Strawhats greatest fighters – and a man worth his balls if there ever was one – had crossed this same threshold just this morning, only to be carried out unconscious and _covered in blood_. Those jerks, sitting back in the easy comfort of the galley! How did they expect him to fare any better?!

_Maybe they don't_, Usopp realized. _Maybe they just want to see if I'll get scared and run away!_ A wave of vengeful courage rushed over him.

_Well, _he thought, clenching his fist at the heavens. _I'll show them!_

Before he could change his mind, Usopp grabbed the doorknob and – twisting it determinedly – threw the door wide open. "I AM SORRY FOR INTRUDING!" the sniper announced in a voice that could wake the dead. "I have brought you dinner! Be grateful, stranger!"

Silence.

"Huh?"

Usopp glanced around; there was the bed, the window, the closet, and the new mecha-nightstand that Franky had constructed earlier. But there was no sign of the room's grouchy inhabitant.

_She's not here… _

He set the plate by the door and entered cautiously, listening sharply for any sound that would give away a sneak attack. When he heard nothing, the sniper ventured forward. A glitter of gold caught Usopp's eye; Vera's discarded bikini lay balled up in the corner, as if cast off by an angry hand.

"Hm." Usopp looked back the other way… and suddenly, he noticed a piece of paper – a bit of white, folded half on top of the nightstand.

"What's that doing here?" he wondered aloud. He crossed over to the nightstand, picking it up after a moment of hesitation, and jumped when something suddenly rolled out of the paper and bounced off the floorboards. It was just a pencil, though. The sniper stared at it quizzically. "That's _my_ pencil!" he exclaimed. "What's it doing here?"

Usopp pondered that for a moment – then returned his attention to unfolding the paper; his pencil could wait.

Upon opening the bit of parchment, Usopp saw that he was holding a drawing… a pretty good one, too, for just normal graphite. It was a portrait of five people – one man, three women, a little girl, and what looked like a massive, curly wolf overdue for an appointment at the groomer's – all in rather unconventional poses. The dog (at least Usopp hoped it was, because it) had tackled the little girl and was madly licking her face. Despite her situation, the child was laughing, smiling as she enthusiastically rubbed the dog's ears. She was probably eight or nine years old, small for her age, with a mane of frizzy blonde hair even wilder than the canine's. Just above the wrestling pair, the only man in the picture – an old, bald, chubby geezer with a bushy blonde mustache, a bowtie, and the liveliest eyes Usopp had ever seen – was whooping it up next to a regal, silver-haired woman. She had a serene, wise, and beautiful face. Her posture was perfect, clad in a gorgeous, draping gown of what looked like grey silk, a glittering circlet on her brow and a quietly amused smile on her face despite the chaos around her. Next to this queenly creature stood a younger woman. Probably in her early twenties, this one had a bob of thick corkscrew curls and a sharp, stern beauty; both women wore glasses, but the second was taller, exuding a far less forgiving air than the first. She was frowning disagreeably at the last person in the portrait – who was obviously supposed to be Vera… with her long, dark curls, beauty mark, and impish expression. She was the only one really posing, mischievously flaunting her curves in the center of the picture.

Usopp could see dents in the paper, and countless eraser marks all around them. Signs of an uncertain artist. A good few of the sniper's old pictures had the same markings; when he had wanted to draw something, but had a horrible time deciding _what_. Eventually, he had always ended up drawing what was on his mind.

Usopp cocked his head. _Is this her –?_

Suddenly, right beside him, Vera threw the covers off her head, naked as the day she was born.

* * *

Vera propped herself up in the bed, yawning and stretching good-naturedly. Naked naps were always so _liberating_ – the feel of the cool sheets on her slightly damp skin, the fresh smell of a perfectly fluffed pillow – especially after a swim. And unlike mornings, Vera always awoke in a good mood… feeling refreshed and pleasantly groggy.

Then she scratched her head and groaned as she felt a tangled mat near her scalp. Locks of equally snarled hair shook loose to cover her breasts. Naps after swimming were always _murder_ on her hair, though. Brushing it out? She shuddered at the thought; almost all of it was tangles, knots, and worst of all…

Those curlicues.

_Rmblnurgle. _Vera patted her complaining stomach, gazing at one of the thin, tight spirals that she so irrationally hated – several of them glowing gold in the orange sunbeams that poured through her tiny window. Sometimes the girl wondered why she didn't just get her hair cut short. Save herself the trouble! But before Vera could pursue the thought any further…

There was a quiet gasp right beside her. Surprised, she turned to look.

Usopp.

He stared at her, looking like he was about to catch flies. She stared back. There was a very long, very awkward silence.

"…"

"…"

"ACK!"

Vera yelped and yanked the covers up over her chest. Usopp screeched and fell backwards, landing hard on his butt, but jumped up just as quickly. "G-Gomen'nasai!" he apologized as he bowed hastily, his face red as a beet. "Shitsurei! I go now!"

Vera jumped. "_Whoah_! Hold up, Usopp!"

The sniper stopped in his tracks.

Vera's eyes trailed slowly back over to that delectable plate of food… tempting her from beside the door. "Is that for me?" she asked.

Her stomach made a loud noise. "Can I have it?"

Usopp glanced hesitantly from her to the door – her, door, her, door. It was almost amusing; she could almost see his mind racing as the sharpshooter's sense of self-preservation battled with Vera's helpless request.

* * *

"Why can't _you_ get it?" Usopp asked tremulously.

* * *

Vera sighed. She wasn't in the mood for this. "Do I have to spell it out for you, baka-kun?" she murmured, gesturing to her currently awkward state of dress. "Please? Onegai?"

* * *

Something in her voice made Usopp pause.

_Has she ever said a genuine "please" to anyone?_ he wondered. Thinking back he realized that no, she hadn't. It had always been something for one of her selfish whims. Any plead the eccentric brunette would have made would have been snarky, insincere, or mockingly seductive. Mostly Sanji for the latter… but still. Now she sounded tired, and sad.

He hesitated for a moment.

Then he pursed his lips, muttering in embarrassment as he fetched the plate of rice and still-warm spring rolls. He quickly marched back over to the bed, averted his eyes, and deposited the plate in her lap. "Here."

After a moment of hesitation, he also tossed her music player onto the coverlet as well. "That too," the sniper growled. Vera's eyes widened slightly – then she regained her tired eyes. "'Bye bye.'"

She picked up the device. Triumphantly, Usopp turned to go. His job was done!

"'Bye bye…'" Vera murmured.

He stopped.

_Craaaaaaap… _His heartstrings felt like they were being attacked by invisible baby chipmunks._ She sounds so sad. I'd feel like a monster if I left her here like this… No, Usopp! _The sniper slapped himself. _It's a trap! Don't fall for it! She is a devious creature from the realm of the gods, never forget that! It will be your doom, Usopp! YOUR DOOOOOM!_

A heartbroken sigh reached Usopp's ears.

Hanging his head and cursing a noble warrior of the sea's soft spot for distraught damsels, Usopp trudged back over to the bed, standing before Vera with a highly distressed look on his face. She glanced up at him – obviously confused why he was still here. She took her time in swallowing her large bite of spring roll. "Yes?"

Usopp growled, rubbing the wrinkle between his brows. _I can't __**believe**__ I am doing this…_

"What's wrong?"

Vera blinked at him. "I mean," the sharpshooter tried to explain, hands flailing as he struggled to get his point across, "I haven't known you for very long, but you're acting weird! Even for you. And that's saying something!"

Usopp paused, gasping for breath. For a long moment, Vera just looked at him.

She pulled out her earbuds. "What?"

The sniper collapsed, defeated. _SHE DIDN'T HEAR A WORD I SAID?!_

* * *

Vera blinked at Usopp, who was grumbling obscenities into her comforter. Normally, she would wonder what made him fall so abruptly and maybe even laugh at it… but now, she felt melancholy settling back over her like a heavy blanket. Vera pushed her plate away. She wasn't hungry anymore; delicious as it was, the food had lumped together like an iron weight in her stomach.

She offered Usopp an earbud.

"Wanna listen?" she asked.

Usopp glared flatly up at her. Vera gazed back indifferently. A long, awkward moment passed as the two stared each other down.

Finally, the long-nosed man plucked the earbud from her fingers and examined it. He put it close to his ear, listening intently to the song that was playing.

"_If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense."_

It was a song that – without intention or conclusion – echoed the melancholy tone of Vera's current mindset: _"Nothing would be what it is…" _continued the voice of a little girl.

"_Because everything would be what it isn't."_

Vera allowed her eyes to stray away from him, her fingers idly tracing the patterns in her comforter. Black shadows dancing gracefully in the tangerine sunset… the fading sunlight glowing orange, warm on her skin and dazzling in her apathetic gaze. Still, her eyes were drawn to the shadows, not the light.

Earlier that afternoon, Vera had entered her room angry as a hornet. That stupid Zoro! Stupid maelstrom, stupid everything! This place was awesome and all, yeah, but One Piece was meant to be enjoyed through computer screens and the pages of a manga! She was tired, waterlogged, dehydrated, and sore – none of which sweetened her temper. After fuming pointlessly over it for a few dozen minutes, stalking angrily about her room and muttering to herself, Vera realized she needed some kind of outlet. Screaming or hitting her pillow never worked; it wasn't the pillow she was mad at… so, she walked out of her room, across the ship, into the Usopp Factory, and took a pencil and a few pieces of paper from the long-nosed character's bag. She hadn't even tried to be quiet. He just hadn't been paying attention. Then, Vera went back to her room, sketching impatiently. She tried a battle scene, mermaids, random flowers, a death scene… but nothing satisfied her, and the eraser suffered for it. But eventually, Vera gave up and settled for a simple human frame; before she knew it, she had drawn herself. The illustration wasn't half bad – so she added Luffy's hat, then after a moment of consideration… what was really on her mind. The rest of her family. In the end, the drawing was pretty good. But it invoked such feelings of melancholy, of homesickness. It was then that Vera began to feel her exhaustion. She threw off her bikini, curled up into her bed, and had fallen asleep within minutes.

The song thrummed. _"Or so they say…"_

Vera had been in this world – this dream – for two days. She knew it wasn't real, that there might be some kind of trick to the passage of time here. But despite the ridiculous things that had happened, it all felt so _much_ like reality.

"_And through the looking glass we see she's painfully returned."_

Not yet.

"_But now off with her head I feel is everyone's concern."_

Not a lot of people knew it, but the book "Alice in Wonderland" was based on a drug trip. _What if I'm already awake?_ Vera wondered. _What if that drug affected my brain? Or have I gone crazy, and become Alice in my own right? Will I _ever_ see Mom or Dad again with my own eyes? Or Vange? Or Eva, or Milo? My friends, my teachers. _

_What if I'm stuck in this place forever…?_

Vera curled into a fetal position, pressing her chin on her knees through the soft fabric. Shinedown went on – speaking of Alice, shapes, shadows, unlocking a meaning. Perhaps there was a meaning in all this. Still, the thought didn't stop her from feeling this loneliness. A normal girl would be crying. But Vera was different. She never cried – not about things she couldn't help.

"_And contrary wise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would."_

Yup.

She smiled and turned to Usopp, echoing the voice of that tiny Alice. "You see?"

* * *

Usopp's eyes widened. Slowly, he took the earbud away from his head, foregoing the last echoing notes of the otherworldly melody. He gazed at it warily.

"What is it?"

"'Her Name is Alice,'" Vera replied. "'Shinedown.' Like?"

The tousled brunette held out her hand for the small white bulb. In the wake of his experience, Usopp felt like he should be creeped out beyond words… but somehow, he felt fascinated by the ethereal, macabre tones that now resonated through his brain. As an artist himself, Usopp was intrigued.

"Again," he requested, putting the thing back into his ear.

Vera looked a bit surprised, but despite the language barrier, she seemed to get it. Usopp watched her prod the screen a few more times – then that strange little girl began to speak again, in the dead language of another world.

The long-nosed man listened to the entire song one more time. Brow furrowed in his intensity, he began to identify key words like "Alice," "kingdom," "name." Finally, across the sound of the last keys, Usopp heard that line again. The one Vera had repeated.

"_And contrary wise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would."_

"'Yuu… shee?'" Usopp struggled to pronounce the English phrase. "Shee? See?"

Vera snorted.

He rounded on her, blushing furiously. "Don't make _fun_ of me! I bet you couldn't do any better with a song from our world!"

* * *

"Binkusu no sake wo, todoke ni yuku yo, onegai –!"

* * *

"THAT IS _SO_ NOT FAIR!" Usopp threw the earbud at her; Vera just laughed at him, cackling gleefully at his bashful flush. The sharpshooter crossed his arms, pouting.

Then he groaned. _Well, at least she's in a better mood now._

Usopp allowed his eyes to wander the room in a distracted circuit, resignedly waiting for her laughter to die down. Suddenly, he spotted Vera's drawing. It was lying face down on the floor, where he'd dropped it after freaking out over the girl's unexpected appearance – sheesh, she'd nearly scared the crap out of him. Now, the sniper scooped it up.

"Um… hey."

He showed it to Vera. "Is this your family?"

* * *

"Eto… oi."

Half-blinded by tears of mirth, Vera sniffed – still giggling – and suddenly found herself faced with her drawing from this afternoon. She wiped her eyes, sobered to a degree. "Kore wa," Usopp was asking, "anata no kazoku?"

_Kazoku_. It meant family.

Vera finished rubbing her eyelashes. She gave the paper a bittersweet smile. "Nn," she replied, nodding. "Watashi, uh… no kazoku. That's my kasan, dousan, onee-san, imoto-chan, and inu." Usopp's eyes followed her finger as she pointed out her mom, dad, big sister, little sister, and dog each in kind. After she was done, Vera propped her chin in her hands, feeling nostalgic. "They're a funny family. Okashi kazoku. Not as funny as your Mugiwara kazoku!" she assured a blank-looking Usopp. "And getting sucked into this sekai was kakui for a while, but I feel like… that one baka that stayed at the party too long, you know? I'm ready to go home."

"Homuh?"

Vera searched her accumulated database of Japanese words and came up with nothing. "Um, I don't know your word for it. Home?" She flipped over her family portrait, quickly sketching a house on the back; she wrote "_home_" next to it and showed the long-nosed sniper. "Home?"

Usopp scrutinized it for a moment. "Homuh."

"'_Home_.'"

"H-Homuh…"

"Ah, screw it." She flipped the paper back towards her, scribbling tiles onto the sloppy roof. "Figures Eiichiro Oda would land me with his second biggest idiot aside from _Luffy_…"

"Eiichiro Oda?"

Vera lifted her pencil off the paper, squinting pensively up at the ceiling. "Crap, how do I explain this… in this world, I guess you would call him 'god.' Ha ha! Oda-kamisama." She giggled and went back to her sketching. "That's got a nice ring to it!"

* * *

Usopp nearly fell off the bed. _SHE'S CALLING GOD BY HIS FIRST NAME?!_

Vera glanced at him a little weirdly; the young man tried to pull himself together. _Okay Usopp, calm down. Freaking out isn't going to help anything, _he told himself. He took several deep breaths. In, out, in, out. _At least I understood a few words she said! _

Yosh,_ let's take this from the top…_

He spared a glance for the paper on which Vera was sketching. _Okay, so _that's_ her family… the Rosethornes. She was talking about family, then said something about "Strawhat family." And then – wait. The way she was glaring upwards, addressing a god so casually! She was taken away from her family and cast into the world below for disrespecting the ruler of our universe…! She really is a fallen angel! So __**sad**__! How tragic! _Then Usopp started.

_Wait a minute, _he thought._ Does that mean…_

The sharpshooter released a squeak of horror. _Does that mean WE'RE expected to be her new family?! _Usopp shrieked internally_. "Strawhat family." SHE SAID STRAWHAT FAMILY! Oh, damn, this wasn't coincidence! We ARE supposed to be her new family!_

Usopp's eye twitched as he craned his head to look at Vera; happily scribbling away.

_Well, it's not like we can refuse,_ he realized. _This isn't Eneru she's talking about, that's for sure. It'd be one thing if we could fight this "Eiichiro Oda-kamisama" – please forgive me, Lord, for using your name, please don't strike me down! – but we can't. We can't even see him! This is pretty serious shit… _

He swayed, suddenly dizzy. _Aw, man! Thinking this kind of stuff is _murder_ on the brain. Okay, take a step back. _Feeling Vera's curious eyes on him the entire time, Usopp literally stood up from the bed, walked to the center of the room, and reentered his fetal position.

_This is good. _

_All right. _He rubbed his temples, long nose twitching in apprehension. _First of all, it's probably a sensitive subject with Vera-sama. It would be rude to ask about it. It's a little hard to believe, myself – I'm not sure anyone else would believe me. I am the Liar, after all! And even if they did, Luffy would be like…_

Usopp's face involuntarily twisted into a semblance of his captain's. He stood up, flexing his arm and slapping his bicep, his grin bigger than a peeled banana. "Awesome! Since she's got nowhere to go, let's make her our nakama!" exclaimed the sniper in Luffy-fashion.

He broke character for a moment. "Or…"

The sharpshooter resumed his Luffy impression, except now, he wore an expression of unbridled fury. "How dare that Oda bastard take her away from her family!" he snarled, again in his captain's tones. "I'm gonna kick his ass!"

Usopp rubbed his forehead. "Sheesh, can't have that."

The sound of applause made him turn around. Usopp was surprised to see Vera grinning at him, clapping; seeming delighted by his antics.

Still… her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

All of a sudden, the young man was struck by exactly how miserable this girl must be feeling. Torn from a paradise she'd lived in all her life. Taken from her parents, her sisters, even a loving pet – perhaps without any kind of warning – and thrown into a strange world, where she knew and understood no one, and no one knew or understood her, either… possibly forever. Usopp couldn't even begin to comprehend how he would feel.

No, that wasn't right. He'd want a friend.

"Hey, Vera-sama…"

Her glittering brown eyes got even bigger. "Yes?" she replied, excited; probably expecting an impression of some other crewmember.

Usopp scratched his head, brow furrowed in frustration. "Until Eiichiro Oda-kamisama takes you back to your world, and your family, while you're here with us, you know, right now I might just – I guess I'll –" _Damn, I know I'm gonna regret this later…!_

"I'll be your friend."

For what felt like an eternity, Vera did not speak. Tension was almost palpable in the silence; Usopp had almost resigned himself to death by celestial lightning bolt, when…

"Really?"

He flinched. Figures she'd understand _that_!

The sharpshooter groaned. "_Yes_. But!" He held up a warning finger. "That doesn't mean I'm gonna let you walk all over –!"

"YAHOOO!"

"WAAH!" Usopp shrieked in surprise, reeling as Vera threw her arms around him. Something soft squished against his chest. His cheeks turned bright red, and any intelligent thought he might have formed dissolved into a frantic, illiterate mush. "H-H-Hey, y-your, I mean you're–!" The sniper stammered, flustered. Then he suddenly realized: _Holy crap, she's transferring her power into me!_

He flailed desperately. "Hey, hey! Lemme go!"

Vera squeezed harder. "Friend, friend!" she declared happily.

"N-Not quite friend, more of an acquaintance actually! Just a friendly acquaintance! OUCH! Okay, that's enough!" An escape artist to rival Houdini, Usopp managed to wriggle out of a strange hold that could have crushed a greased pig and staggered a few steps backward, pointing an incriminating finger at his would-be captor. "Y-You shouldn't be hugging a male dressed like that, anyway! It's indecent!" he cried, red all the way up to his ears. "And you smell like low tide! Go take a shower, now! I'll get you a towel and a robe, okay?! I'll be right back! _Stay_."

Vera blinked at him.

Usopp took it as consent and dashed out the door, hurtling down the halls towards the laundry room. He slammed open the door, snatched up a short, fuzzy pink robe, then paused – he hesitated, hand hovering over the thin, ratty towel he'd been about to grab.

_Oh, fine. _He groaned. _I'll get her a fluffy one…_

Usopp rooted around under it until his fingers grasped a bit of soft, fluffy material. He epically yanked it out from under the pile, sprinted back into Vera's room, and slammed the door behind him – then doubled over immediately, gasping for breath. His time was impressive; three point seven seconds.

"Here –!" he gasped.

With that, Usopp tossed the items onto her bed, groaned, and fell face-forward onto the floor.

_Uuuuugh… I can't __**deal**__ with this! _the sharpshooter thought. His face was still red as a tomato, actually throwing up steam against the cool wooden floorboards. _I've been her "acquaintance" all of six seconds, and I've already hit my limit. Heck, angel? I don't know about that anymore… but whatever, whoever she is…_

There was a rustle of fabric; thank goodness, she was putting the stuff on.

_She's definitely a freakin' piece of work! _Usopp propped his chin up, heaving a pitiful sigh. _I'm gonna have my work cut out for me, being _her_ friend. I'm such a nice person…_

Suddenly, Vera set something gently on the floor in front of him.

"Hm?" Usopp opened his eyes, then started at the sight of his nemesis – the gleaming black music player. Only, there was something different about it this time… the screen was still black, but it seemed to be lit up from the inside. And a white triangle – set on its side – was gently pulsing in the center of the screen.

"Ah!" He jumped and glanced distrustfully at Vera. "What's this for?"

The girl stared at him for a moment, holding the fluffy pink robe around her chest.

Then, she genuinely smiled. Not her creepy grin, or seductive smirk, or even her signature mischievous leer… the honest, happy smile of a lady done a courtesy.

"Umm!"

Usopp shrank back as Vera padded back over to him, but it proved to be unnecessary. She crouched down; reaching across his arm, her finger touched the screen. The triangle pulsed once… and suddenly, the flat black screen sprung to life, blossoming into a plethora of shapes and colors!

"_Kiss, kiss, fall in love!_"the machine sang.

Instruments began to play in the background. Usopp watched, transfixed, as thousands of wondrously tiny pixels arranged themselves into recognizable shapes. Was this another documentary? Whatever it was, it looked a little girly… but intriguing at the same time. Usopp glanced at the title. Well well, it was in their language!

"'Ouran High School Host Club,'" he read. The sniper crossed his legs and leaned against the wall, unconsciously assuming a more comfortable position. "Huh…"

* * *

Vera closed the door gently. _I knew he'd like that._

She took a few steps away from her room, feeling warm and fuzzy all over – which wasn't _completely_ due the warm fuzzy robe that was wrapped around her body.

Suddenly, she slapped her cheeks and wriggled in happiness.

"DAWWW, now I can't stop smiling!"

Vera did a little fansqueal, then set off down the hall in earnest. She'd never been a huge fan of the Strawhat sharpshooter. But, being her friend… that Usopp could be pretty darn sweet when he wanted to be! _Even if it is all in my head_, Vera resolved as she opened the door to the bathroom, _when I wake up, I am __**so**__ getting his plushie!_

Then she paused in the middle of the changing room. _Which means I wouldn't just have the Monster Trio anymore! I'm going to have to get the rest of the Strawhat crew! _Vera facepalmed. _Sheesh, how much is that gonna run me?! At the very least a hundred bucks, geeeeeez!_

A curlicue tickled her eyeball.

Vera slapped it away. _And speaking of which, _she thought viciously – dismissing the fact that she had transferred to a completely different train in the Station of Thought, _why do I keep putting up with this stupid hair of mine, again? WHY?!_

The door in her subconscious labeled "Common Sense" slammed open. _That's the question you've been asking yourself for years!_ Inner Vange screamed, nearly deafening her. _Don't ask questions you already know the answers to! It's rude, and I can only work so many hours of overtime!_

SLAM.

Vera scowled. Of course she knew the _answer_. But it was stupid, and happened so long ago it shouldn't even matter anymore!

But, like every time she thought of cutting her hair – Vera sighed once again and resigned herself to the handfuls of conditioner, painful ordeals by hairbrush, and the showers so long they made her feel like a salmon swimming upstream. Awaiting her now, and forever._ I guess I'm just stupid and immature… _

She set down her towel and reached for the shower room door. Not noticing the sound of spraying water, or the steam that was already wafting out from the inside.

_I'll never learn._

Vera slid open the connecting door. And froze.

Zoro was taking a shower.

Although, a simple phrase like that just couldn't do this scene justice. The swordsman shone like a sex god in the shower steam, hot water covering every inch of the swordsman. Zoro raised his jaw, allowing the spray to ravage his neck – spilling down his sculpted chest and thighs and abs and _incredible ass_. Of which Vera had a spectacular view. Languid streams of liquid _trickled_ slowly down his broad, hard back, catching and beading together in the creases between those moist, dripping, sun-bronzed muscles. With every movement, the glittering pools overflowed, trickling down around his… _whoah._

Vera stared for a moment longer.

Then she quietly shut the door.

_**KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!**_

Vera slapped her hands to scalding crimson cheeks. _Thank you, God of all the heavens and the earth for allowing me to see that! _Steam was practically pouring out of her ears. _KYAAAAH, he's so frickin' HOT! _

She shrieked internally again and collapsed against the wall.

The door in her mind labeled "Hormones" slammed open. A bright red Inner Fangirl tumbled out, shrieking and thumping her heels against the floor in a similar manner. Meanwhile, Inner Vange opened her door… and just gaped, looking absolutely horrified.

_I cannot believe you two! Do you have no **shame** as women__?! _she demanded.

_CLOCK OUT, ALREADY! _

Fangirl slammed the door in Vange's indignant face, cloned herself, and fluttered out from Vera's ears onto both her right shoulder _and_ her left. _Don't listen to that stick in the mud! She can never understand why we do these sorts of things. I'm in the office next to her! I know!_

_Sorry. _Vera dabbed away a little bit of drool at the corner of her smiling mouth. _ I'll do a little rearranging._

Fangirl smirked, a perverted flush coming over her face as she leaned in close. _That big marimo still hasn't given back Chibi Zoro, you know, _chimed the winged figment of her imagination.

Vera giggled, turned on by where this conversation was going. She turned on her knees – and slowly slid the door open, peering in on that glorious, dripping sex god once again. Since she didn't have her plushie, she certainly deserved a little… _consolation_ prize. It was only common sense!

Zoro turned to the side.

He sighed, making little drops of water fly off his lips. Vera turned an alarming shade of scarlet; her eyes wandered lower. Her gaze slid appreciatively over his abs, pecs, legs, even allowing herself to ogle his butt to an extent… but she made a point to avert her eyes when he turned around to get his back. She'd never seen one of _those_ in real life. She didn't even want to know what her ignorant brain would conjure up in its drugged-up state. Not approaching a hormone high, as she was…

* * *

Zoro allowed himself a sigh of pleasure as torrents of scalding water poured over his body, loosening his joints and easing the knots out of sore muscles. The ocean had been a powerful adversary that afternoon; he could already feel bruises blossoming on his ribs and back. That meant it'd be ten times worse in the morning.

_I'll be all the colors of the frickin' __**rainbow**__ tomorrow. Stiff as a block of wood, too,_ the swordsman thought, turning so that the hot spray could stream down his shoulders. Muscles twinged, then relaxed, making Zoro alternate between cringing and sighing as the shower loosened his muscles one by one. Finally, the process was complete – leaving a throbbing, deep-tissue ache that penetrated him to his core.

Zoro pushed the pain out of his mind. _You'll be fine, _he told himself, turning to face the showerhead once more. _ You can tolerate more than this._

His body answered with particularly vicious jolts of pain from his back.

Zoro nearly buckled; his shoulder hit the wall. A dozen more darts of white-hot agony were sent lancing into his brain tissue. The swordsman ground his teeth – squeezing his upper thigh with twitching fingers, trying hard not to collapse – as he waited for the pain to subside.

Eventually, it leveled off.

The pain didn't completely go away, and what was left still hurt like slid to the tiles, shower steam reflected in the dripping grey pearls of his own sweat.

_Damn! _Breathing hard, he braced himself against the wall, fingers tingling against the cold tiles. _If it hurts this bad, something's got to be broken. Or that current bruised me clear through the bones. If experience serves, I'm in for hell in the morning…_

Suddenly, Zoro felt something change in the atmosphere.

_**Hahhhh…**_

The swordsman blanched. A chill ran up his spine… This perverted aura. The lecherous, clinging gaze. It was all the same as this afternoon – except now, he was vulnerable. He was in pain. He had no clothes, and no weapons.

It was the chijo.

Zoro's wide eyes immediately snapped to the window; it would have been the best vantage point to spy from. It was too dark outside now to see if anyone was looking in, and if the swordsman had been thinking properly, he would have realized that if it were humanly possible to crawl halfway down the hull to do so, the shitty ero-cook would be using it every night to peep in on the witch. It would be far more likely she was looking in through the door. But at this point – after her dropping out of the sky in a flash of light, taking away Luffy's Devil Fruit powers, ogling him like a prize pig, and surviving a kiss with a brutal New World cyclone, _unscathed_ – Zoro's nerves were shattered in any matter concerning this otherworldly being.

He bolted to his feet. _I am OUT OF HERE!_

He dashed out the door, skidding quickly on his wet feet, and slammed it behind him. There. Safe.

Zoro sighed in relief. Let that perverted demon fall back in the ocean, for all he cared. Feeling satisfied with himself, he pushed off from the door, yawning widely as he padded to the center of the room and began to stretch. The pain was almost all gone now; just a mild tingling in his fingertips remained. _Still_, he thought, rolling his neck with a wince. _No sense in letting the muscles go stiff again._

He took a deep breath and bent over to touch his toes.

A choked squeak sounded behind him.

Zoro froze.

He whipped around to face none other than a beet-red Chijo.

The bottom dropped out of his stomach. "GAHH!" the swordsman screamed. He covered as much of himself as he could. "What the hell are _you_ doing there?! You were supposed to be out there on the –!"

"Mmm…"

Zoro choked as she made a very disturbing sound. Her eyes, half-lidded and glittering with lust, were directed somewhere in his lower regions; the swordsman realized he'd taken his hand off his groin to gesture at the window. He yelped and covered himself again. "G-Get out of here!"

_Holy shit, did I just __**stutter**__? What am I, a sixteen-year old girl?!_

"I mean –!"

The chijo broke out those unsettling giggles of hers. She covered her very pink face with both hands and sidled quickly into the shower; almost so quick it was comical. But just before shut the door on his blotchy scarlet face, she turned her face towards him… ever so slightly, just enough so that he could hear her say:

"'Bye-bye!'"

Click.

Zoro stood there for what felt like an eternity, a sound leaking out from his constricted windpipe. Thinking back on it, it sounded a lot like a frog – slowly being squished under a boot.

_What. Just. Happened…?_

Suddenly, the door opened behind him. "Whoah!"

Zoro turned his head. Franky stood in the doorway, looking taken aback… yet slightly impressed. "Oh, sorry!" the shipwright apologized, awkwardly rubbing his shaven crown. "Didn't mean to walk in on you."

The marimo glanced down at the placement of his hands and suddenly realized what this must look like. "NO! Franky, this isn't–!"

"It's okay, Zoro-bro! It happens to guys. Just finish up, and try not to make a mess!" Before Zoro could set him straight, the cyborg had shut the door. "_Geez_, I need a piss," he heard the cyborg mutter. "Guess I'll use the other bathroom! SUPAHHHH!"

Zoro went from tomato to furious bloodred. _That's it! _

He cast a look around. _Where are my clothes?!_ Then his jaw dropped as he came to a shocking realization. _CRAP! I LEFT THEM IN THE SHOWER!_

He aimed a wary glance at the shower, where steam and happy singing was wafting out from under the door. The marimo glared at the other threshold, where Franky – _of all his nakama_ – had been standing. He sure as hell couldn't go back. But he couldn't just _stay_ here, either!

There was only one option.

Zoro swallowed. If he prayed, at that moment, he would have been pleading with God in the most ardent fashion… not to let _anyone_ witness what he was about to do.

And before he could question his resolve, the marimo swordsman slammed open the bathroom door and made a naked tear for the men's quarters, whipping around corners so fast he was a blur of bronzed flesh."It's this way, then this way," he muttered to himself as he ran. "And this way and this way and this way!"

Zoro skidded around the final corner. "And then –!"

The bathroom door stared him in the face.

"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!"

"Ne, Zoro, why are you standing naked in the middle of the hall?"

The swordsman choked and whirled at the sound of his captain's voice. Luffy stared at him neutrally – noting his frantic expression, his uneasiness, his obvious alarm at being discovered…

The straw-hatted boy grinned, ecstatic. "Are you playing a game?!"

Zoro nearly had an apoplexy when his captain started to strip. "I wanna play too!" Luffy announced. He threw off his final piece of clothing – his boxers – and straightened; legs spread wide apart, just letting it all hang out. "So liberating! I like this game! Huh? Hey, Zoro, where'd you go?"

Bare as the day he was born, Luffy dashed down the hall, looking high and low for his elusive first mate. "ZOROOOOO!"

"You probably shouldn't be bothering Zoro-bro right now."

Luffy turned to see a blue-haired cyborg coming down the hall from the girl's bathroom. "Franky?"

The shipwright bent over, whispering between his teeth. "He's having a little private time right now in the bathroom. Best not to distract him."

Suddenly, Franky paused, noticing his captain's current state of dress.

"Uh, Luffy?"

"What?"

"…Where are your shorts?"

"Ditched 'em."

Franky raised an eyebrow at him. "…Is there a reason?"

"Yup!" The raven-haired boy grinned, proudly putting his hands on his hips. "Zoro was running around like this, all out of breath and sweaty! It's some kind of tag! Haven't been playing for long, but so far…" He shook his hips a little, enjoying the breeze on his butt. "I _like_ it!"

There was a long pause.

Then, Franky grinned. "Wow!" the shipwright marveled. "I think I might have underestimated you guys! You guys actually are perverts at heart. Oh, I knew this day would come…!" Like a proud father, he wiped away a bit of moisture from his cyborg eye. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry! Very well!"

With that, Franky dramatically whipped off his speedo. "I shall join your game!"

Luffy slapped the cyborg on the back. "Shishishi! The more, the merrier! Zoro, where are you?! Franky decided to play with us!"

"Zoro-bro!"

"Zoro!"

"_ZOROOOOO_!"

* * *

"It's rainin' men~!" Vera ran her hands through her hair, cool water pattering like heaven's rain over her overheating body. "Hallelujah, it's rainin' men! _Amen_~!"

Luffy and Franky running down the halls, Nami accidentally seeing them, Sanji racing to beat them down after hearing her scream… the shower canceled out all the sounds of chaos, allowing the happy girl to remain completely oblivious inside her steamy hollow. Meanwhile, Vera sang "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls at the top of her lungs and commended her crazy brain for such a realistic view. Little _too_ realistic, but heck. She wasn't complaining!

_I'm such a perv! _The girl squirmed, unable to contain her spastic energy. _But anime guys are the freaking BEST!_

"Tall~!" _Yup._

"Blonde~!" _One of them!_

"Dark and mean~!" _I guess._

"Rough and tough and strong and leeeeeean~!" _Heck. Yes._

Vera smirked and went back to scrubbing her head, thinking that this place wasn't that bad after all. _Was_ she crazy? Crazy people never knew! And even if she was, she was going to make the best of it.

_This is going to be fun, _Vera thought wickedly.

Humming the rest of the song under her breath, she squirted another handful of conditioner into her palm. The rest of the beauty products, obviously Robin and Nami's, twinkled prettily at her as she worked the scented goop into her hair. All pastel glass and gold and silver accents. Vera had never really been one for heavy makeup. People told her she was a natural beauty anyway… mostly just eyeliner, mascara, foundation and cover up; maybe a little lip gloss or eyeshadow on special occasions. Still, even she could appreciate the aesthetics of this army of glittering, expensive-looking bottles.

Suddenly, something in the back caught her eye. Vera reached back into the spray, washing the leftover conditioner off her palms before fishing out a compact, cocoa-brown container. She examined it. The label was in Japanese (of freaking _course!_). It looked a little plain next to all those other scintillating products. As far as she could tell, it hadn't been opened.

Vera unscrewed the lid.

Then the smell met her nose, and her mouth turned on the waterworks. _Mmmmmmmuh… chocolate!_

She dipped a finger in the rough, dark brown goop. _Oh, c__hocolate exfoliant! Nice!_

Vera rubbed it on her face, inhaling the sweet aroma as it mixed with the heavy shower steam. It hadn't been opened. Why not splurge?

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ship, the very stars shook in the night sky as a powerful impact resounded throughout the Thousand Sunny. "YOU SHITTY GREEN _BASTARD_–!"

Sanji had found the stray moss.

**.**

* * *

**A/N: I had a massive nosebleed writing the second half of that chapter, and they had to do emergency transfusions. Just kidding. **

*Sucks in giant breath…*

_**KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**_

**Phew, sorry. I had to. Still, Usopp can be pretty cool when he wants to, right? And just the most epic breaking of the fourth wall I have ever written EVER, mixed with a hot, dripping, **_**violated**_** Roronoa Zoro – oh crap, I'm bleeding again. Anyway, the next chapter will be a bit longer, but not **_**ridiculously freaking long**_** like Chapters 5 & 6. It's a little fluffy occurrence at about 2 in the morning. Ah, Vera. You're in for it now!**

**I hope you enjoyed, and shoot me a review! X3**


	8. Pankeki Party

**I'm glad I could post this so soon! It only took me a week… instead of the freakin' **_**month**_** Chapter 7 took! YAY ME!**

**This chapter is my baby. It's very kawaii. Enjoy. X3**

* * *

**Chapter 8:**

**Pankeki Party**

_Grrrownownrrrrrrgkle._

"Owww…"

Rudely awoken by crippling hunger pains, Vera threw the covers off of her and place her feet on the floor, wincing as she attempted to rub the sleep from her face. Her room felt like a sauna – her pajamas saturated with that kind of mucky sweat that clogs every single one of a woman's pores. Now that she was awake, the brunette wondered how in the world she'd stayed asleep as long as she had.

Vera groaned. _What time is it?_ she wondered, burying her feverish head in her hands. _Gotta be after midnight. It's pitch black._

Her belly snarled again.

"_OW_."The sleepy girl doubled over, wincing. "Geez!" She sighed. "Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised." She smacked her lips thoughtfully. "I didn't eat much for dinner."

Still, what did surprise her is that she was in the mood for _those_ again. But really? Two nights in a row…?

Oh, why not. She needed some fresh air anyway.

Vera huffed and reached for a hairband. "Sheesh, I've been having quite a sweet tooth lately," she grumbled to herself as she padded towards the door. "At this rate, I'm gonna need to start working out."

* * *

**.oOo.**

Across the ship, Sanji tossed and turned on his bunk. He'd been doing so ever since first lying down almost two shitty _hours_ ago! Unlike most nights – unusual, considering sharing quarters with this particular set of guys – noise wasn't an issue. The only sounds in the dark, balmy room were peaceful, quiet snores, and the occasional sleepy murmur from Usopp or Zoro. Even that shitty captain was silent to an extent! The cook marveled how they could sleep so soundly; he couldn't remember a time when he'd been so overheated and uncomfortable.

Sanji moaned and glanced at the clock for what felt like the umpteenth time. The faintly glowing numbers read _13:59._

Click. Now it was _14:00._

_IT'S TWO IN THE FRICKING MORNING! _

_This sucks! _Sanji thought, violently turning over. He tearfully gnawed on his pillowcase, as if it was to blame for his insomnia. _Those naked bastards kept me running around until midnight in the first place! And I never __**did**__ find out what I was craving…_

The cook sighed, feeling sorry for himself.

Then he paused.

Abruptly, Sanji sat up in his bunk, sniffing the air. There was a distinct flavor to it. His palate – that of a first-class chef – immediately went to work dissecting it. It was sweet as a whole; a distinct chocolaty scent, with flour, and eggs, and butter. It wasn't pastries, but…

Pancakes.

Sanji barely restrained himself from smacking himself in the face. Why hadn't he thought of it sooner?! Like a greased key into its keyhole, pancakes fit his craving perfectly. The blonde jumped out of bed as if electrocuted and tiptoed across the room, down the hall, and to the kitchen faster than a cheetah. It was no good if he woke up the others, after all.

Luffy mumbled and sat up. "Food?"

Usopp cracked open one bleary eye. "You sleeptalking, moron?"

Brook opened his eyes. If he had any. "My goodness, what is going on?"

Chopper pulled the blankets over his head, moaning for the other guys to shut up as Franky blinked awake. His shaved head panned from side to side.

"Hey, where's Sanji-bro?"

Meanwhile, Sanji paused outside the kitchen door. He took a deep breath, bracing himself. The last time he went in a room occupied by only Vera, he'd passed out from erotic mental overload. _I made a fool of myself at breakfast!_ the blonde thought. _I won't let her catch me off guard this time!_

He clenched his fist determinedly and peeked inside, watching for his golden opportunity.

* * *

Vera poked one of her simmering chocolate-studded snacks. Yawning tiredly, she turned away, bracing her hip against the counter. The pancakes were coming along nicely. A couple more minutes on this side and they'd be done.

For the fifth time in as many minutes, she wandered over to the refrigerator and tugged on the complex padlock that sealed the door.

This was her only problem. Last time, Sanji had been here to give her access to milk and whipped cream – but he'd moved so fast she hadn't even seen him open the door. So there was no real point in it… Just something to do. _I wish he were here now_, Vera thought to herself, feeling pathetically incapable. She didn't even know how to open a _regular_ padlock. _I hate eating my pancakes dry…_

Suddenly, something heavy touched against her back.

Vera turned her head, and found none other than the ship's resident cook leaning over her shoulder – staring intently at the cooking pancakes. She smiled at the golden-haired cook, too sleepy to be surprised.

"Ohayo, Sanji-kun. What are you doing on my shoulder?"

"Ohayo, Vera-chwan."

Sanji gave her that kind of smile that only anime bishounen could pull off – his eyes softened by the exhaustion of a hard day's work, and his soft blonde hair perfectly tousled around his flawless ivory complexion. Thinking back on it, if Vera had been fully awake to appreciate the sight, she probably would have melted into a gooey puddle of happy teenage girl at his feet. As it was…

Her chest went all warm and fuzzy. _Kyaaaaa…_

"Sore wa oishi-so!" Sanji rubbed his belly and pointed to the pancakes, smiling hopefully. "Watashi wa pankeki ga dekimasu ka?"

Vera stared at him, convinced her brain had misinterpreted him through its sleep-induced stupor. _He wants one? _she thought incredulously. _Sanji, from One Piece, wants one of __**my**__ pancakes?! _She swooned slightly, delirious with happiness. _This is too good to be true!_

Suddenly, a sleepy murmur sounded behind her. "Mmmmm, dō na~tsu teru no?"

Sanji glanced around and jumped. "O-Omaera!"

Vera turned her head to see what he was so worked up about… only to see most of the Strawhat crew crowded together in the kitchen doorway; Luffy, Nami, Robin, Franky, Chopper, Brook, even Usopp – all in pajamas and various states of sagging eyelids and bedhead. Sanji flailed his arms around, seeming flustered as he spouted a long rant in Japanese, obviously trying to convince them nothing was wrong and that they should get back to bed.

That's when Luffy noticed pancakes cooking. "_MESHI_!" he cried joyously, catapulting himself into the kitchen.

Vera jumped when the rubber captain landed next to her and held up ten fingers. "Ju!"

The rest of the Strawhats glanced at each other, then followed their captain's example in a bedraggled parade, muttering amongst themselves as Sanji looked on – a sound of shock slowly eking out from his throat.

Robin held up one finger. "Ichi."

Usopp yawned widely. "_Ahhhhhh_ – ha." He held up two. "Ni."

"San!" Brook chirped.

The others followed in quick succession, then filed out the door to the galley.

Vera sighed. _Well, there goes any chance at resuming my REM._

She moved the browned, chocolate-studded pancakes she'd made for herself onto a plate and set them to the side, then crossed the kitchen and opened up the cupboard again. _In any case, this calls for more batter, so… _Vera pulled a half-full sack of flour from its niche in the cabinet and turned back towards the griddle. _I wonder how much time this is going to take._

Then she stopped, blinking in surprise. "Sanji-kun, what are you doing?"

* * *

"I'm certainly not going to stand by and let you work your beautiful ass off cooking for those ungrateful bastards!" Sanji cried. He glanced down, pulled sharply on the spare apron he'd tied around his neck – effectively eliminating any wrinkles that might have marred its crisp white linen – and gave Vera a cheerful thumbs-up.

"I'll help you!"

* * *

The brunette raised her eyebrows at him.

"Then we better get started," she said, tossing the sack of flour at Sanji. Caught off guard, the Strawhat cook scrambled to catch it as she darted to the fridge and pulled out the butter and eggs. She set them on the counter. "You make the batter," she told him, making stirring motions to get her point across.

Then she grabbed the spatula and jabbed at her chest with it. "I'll add the chocolate chips and cook them. Hai?"

Sanji blinked. "Ah, hai."

"Then snap to!"

* * *

Sanji obliged happily, feeling himself sink into a state of bliss as he went to work for this benevolent, bra-less dictator. _Ah, I love a woman who can take charge~!_

**.oOo.**

Ten minutes of feverish teamwork later, the eight Strawhats – plus Vera – were stuffing their faces with chocolaty pancakey goodness. Sanji munched happily on his share, occasionally making sounds of delight; finally, his taste buds were appeased in their quest for the ultimate midnight snack. The galley was filled with sounds of contented chewing, swallowing… and the occasional yelp from Luffy when he tried to steal Vera's share. Sanji had kicked him in the head the first couple times, but found out quickly she could defend herself from the captain's assaults.

"OW!"

Like a long, fleshy stretch of silly putty, Luffy's arm snapped across the table back into its original position. The rubber man nursed the many red, crescent shaped marks that adorned his hand. "Vera bit me again!"

Sanji swallowed. "Did she break the skin this time?"

Luffy pouted. "No."

"Then she was being nice. Suck it up." The blonde took another bite, taking his time to savor the flavor.

Robin smiled. "You seem to be enjoying yourself, Cook-san," the archeologist observed, a hint of amusement in her deep, musical voice. "Are they that wonderful?"

Sanji nodded happily. "Mm!"

Down the table, Chopper was chewing as well, slow and forlorn as a fat bovine. "Mineshh a liddle dry…"

Brook looked at him. "Chopper-san, that's a tablecloth."

"Oh…" The sleepy reindeer spat out the fabric. Eyes closed, he patted his hooves across the table, feeling around for his snack; finally, Usopp took pity on him. The sniper tore his second pancake and gave half to Chopper.

"Here."

After making sure Chopper wasn't going to start eating anything else, he scrutinized the other half, then popped it in his mouth. "It'sh not _bad_," Usopp admitted, chewing. "It's fullinguh, ah leasht." He washed it down with the last of his milk and made a sound of satisfaction, and then – surprisingly – aimed a look down the table at Sanji. "But there's nothing extraordinary about it. Why do _you_ like it so much?"

_Funny, _Sanji realized. _I thought the same thing when I first tasted one._

"Wha makesh hyou shay da?" Franky, meanwhile, was shoveling pancakes down his gullet at a pace to rival Luffy's. "I tink dey're SHUPAH!"

Brook nodded and poured himself some tea. "I believe they're sufficient, as well."

"I want seconds!" Luffy proclaimed loudly. "At least one hundred!"

Sanji launched a kick at his head. "You shitty rubber _idiot_! Be grateful we make you _ten_!"

BAM. Luffy flew upwards, ricocheted off the ceiling, hit a wall, crashed to the floor, and barrel-rolled across the room to faceplant into the swinging kitchen door. The rubber man flopped onto his belly… his torso in the kitchen, his legs in the galley. Vera scribbled a number "10" on her napkin, stood up on the bench, and held it up like an Olympic scorecard, her face that of an imp on a sugar-high.

Everyone stared.

Robin turned to the bug-eyed sniper. "I imagine it's an inquired taste, Long Nose-san," she said knowledgably.

Usopp aimed a wary eye up at the grinning Vera; he didn't look very convinced. "Hm."

Suddenly, he perked up. "Oh! Vera-sama!"

* * *

The brunette raised an eyebrow at him as the sharpshooter began to rifle through his pockets. "'_Sama_?'" she asked, incredulous. "Seriously?"

Usopp pulled out her iPod and offered it to her.

Vera squeaked happily. Her mood doing an impressive one-eight, she hopped down from the bench, snatch it up, and grinned at her nose-nosed friend. "Arigatou! Did you like Ouran?"

Usopp nodded eagerly. "Nn! Sore wa okashi! Suou Tamaki wa…" he leaned in close, smirking. "Sanji-kun."

He held his thumb and forefinger close together. "Sukoshi nite imasu!"

* * *

_Omigosh. _Vera felt a quivery smile steal across her face, giggles bubbling behind her lips. _He's saying that idiotic prince character from Ouran High School Host Club is like… Sanji!_

* * *

Vera snorted and started to laugh. "Yes, yes!" she gasped between gales of laughter.

Usopp started to snicker in spite of himself. "Isn't he, though?!"

Suddenly, the sharpshooter felt four pairs of eyes boring into his back. He turned to see everyone staring at him – except for Nami and Chopper, who were facedown asleep on the table. And Luffy, who was unconscious (or asleep) in the doorway.

"Oh, uh –!" Usopp pointed at the guffawing Vera, his eyebrows twitching nervously. "She showed me another one of her documentaries! There's this character named Suou Tamaki, and…!"

A dangerous aura started to envelop Sanji.

Usopp felt cold sweat drip down his back. "Uh…! She taught me a little English, too! 'Y-You…see?'"

"Oo… shee?"

* * *

Vera's features twisted into one of the most epic troll faces of all time. "_HAH_."

* * *

Usopp's hackles shot up. "DON'T _MOCK_ ME!" he yelled, putting an accusatory finger in her face. "Like I said before! In our language, you couldn't do _any better_!"

That damn angel always loved to prove him wrong.

"On the Sniper Island… where I was _born_~!"

Usopp froze, his jaw dropping farther and farther as she went on. "One hundred shots, one hundred hits~!" Vera sang in a deep, mysterious tone. "Lu lu la la _lu_…"

Usopp croaked. "I-Is that…?"

She smirked at him, nodding. It was the Sogeking theme song.

"But how?!" the sharpshooter spazzed, swinging around random parts of his body as if having a seizure. "What?! When? Where?! Why? _How do you know that song?!_"

Vera turned on her music player.

Usopp snatched up one of the earbuds. "Gimme that!" He leaned over her shoulder, gazing with intensity at the touch screen as its otherworldly owner flipped through several playlists; she selected the "One Piece" playlist, typed in the number "258," and pressed a square grey box. They waited for a moment… then a segment of the One Piece documentary popped up. She pressed it. Usopp was expecting her to just let it play – but while the introductory music was still playing, she gleefully lengthened the pale grey bar at the bottom of the screen, and the image skipped several minutes ahead in time. Then…

Usopp's eyes bugged. "It's Sogeking!"

Vera smiled, seeming excited. "Uh-huh!"

Luffy popped up behind them, thrusting himself cheek-to-jowl between them to get a look at the tiny screen. "Sogeking?!"

"_On the Sniper Island… where I was __**born**__~! One hundred shots, one hundred hits~!"_ sang Sogeking through Vera's and Usopp's earbuds. _"Lu lu la la __**lu**__. Even a mouse's eye, lock on! Even on your heart~!"_

"_**LOCK OOOON!"**_

All three of their faces lit up. "Awesome…!"

_She's got them wrapped around her little finger, _the rest of the Strawhats all thought in unison, feeling drops of sweat trickling down their necks.

"I'm so jealous…" Sanji moaned, teething on a napkin in his anguish.

Brook just laughed. "Yohohohoho!" the skeleton chortled. Then he looked curiously at the trio, clustered around Vera-san's little device. "Who is this 'Sogeking,' if I may ask, Vera-sa –?"

Suddenly, Brook jumped so hard he nearly fell off the bench. "ORE!"

Franky raised an eyebrow at him, as their musician quickly scrambled backwards across the floor. "What's wrong with you? You're shaking like a leaf!"

Brook fit his back into a corner, farthest away from Vera. "A-Ah, so I am."

The cyborg stared at him a moment longer, then shook his head and wrote it off to the skeleton's generally strange behavior. He resumed watching Vera, Usopp, and Luffy's expressions; they were much more interesting, their eyes growing bigger and bigger with every note, like small children watching their favorite superhero in action. Meanwhile, Sogeking's theme song was reaching its grand finale.

"_Sooooge~!_

"_Kiiii~!_

"_Nn…" _

And suddenly, right before the climax… the screen went black.

They screamed. "WAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

"W-W-What happened to Sogeking?!" Usopp wailed. Vera jabbed frantically at her device. Luffy made a few unintelligible noises, blanched, and passed out. "W-Where'd he go?! We _have_ to finish the song!"

* * *

"I _GET _IT! _Urusai_, Usoppu!"

The sharpshooter shrank back like a scolded puppy. Vera took a deep breath, trying to calm down, then pressed the power button again. Nothing. Again. _Something could be seriously wrong with it, _she admitted, _but most likely it ran out of power. Oh well, it's not the end of the world._

She tossed it. "Franky."

The shipwright glanced up. "Hm? Ah!" He nearly fumbled her iPod as it flew into his massive red hands.

"Fix that for me, will you?" Vera yawned. She stretched her arms over her head, hearing her back crack; her heart was content, her stomach was full, and she was getting sleepy. "I had fun. But now I'm going to sleep before you bakas wake me up again." She yawned again and headed for the door. "Oyasuminasai, mina."

Good night, everybody.

Vera snickered. _Elvis. Hee hee hee… oh gosh, I'm so tired._

* * *

The door shut.

Usopp frowned after her. The sharpshooter crossed his arms, pouting. "That Vera! I wanted to see the rest of it!"

"I guess there's no sense in asking what 'it' was," Franky deduced, carefully easing the delicate black rectangle into his smaller yellow hands. His fingers prodded at it from all angles. "What do you think she wants me to do with this?"

Robin leaned over to look at the device. "Fix it, one would suppose. Or, perhaps there's something on it that she wanted _you_ to see, Franky."

The cyborg was ecstatic. "You think so?! I can't wait!"

She smiled slightly. "I'm envious."

Brook hesitated in his corner, staring at the door Vera had gone through. He got up slowly. _How bizarre! Just now, the light's diameter. _

_Did it just…?_

Suddenly, Usopp yawned, interrupting the musician's thoughts. "Wow, I'm pretty sleepy, too!" the sharpshooter exclaimed. He smacked his lips – aimed a sleepy look at Chopper, and threw the gently snoring reindeer over his shoulder. "I guess I'll go to bed."

Luffy turned his head. "Bed? Now?!" he whined. "But we just woke up! Let's play a game instead!"

Nami sat up, a bit of drool at the corner of her mouth. "Hwah?"

The navigator looked down at herself. "Oh," she murmured, wiping her mouth before standing up and following Usopp's example. "Hey, everybody! Don't forget, we arrive at the next island after lunch tomorrow! Make your preparations _before_ then! I don't want to have to wait for anyone, got that?"

"_Yes_," everyone chorused.

Luffy stared in disbelief as his crew filed past him on their way back to bed. "Noooooo! I don't want to go to bed! I wanna play a _game_! Hey, Franky, let's play that one we did this eveni–!"

Sanji concassed him. "_**NO! GO TO BED!**_"

Everyone else ignored him. Left alone on the galley floor – rubbing the new lump on his head – Luffy pouted. "You guys are no fun…" he whined.

Then, something occurred to him.

"Ooo!" the rubber boy exclaimed, decisively setting his fist in his open palm. "I can ask Vera! She's fun!" He jackknifed to his feet, pushed through the swinging double doors, and scampered down the hall, giggling happily all the way to the guest room. "_I_ _am_ a _genius_~!"

* * *

Vera closed the door, breathing a sigh of relief as she crawled back into bed. The girl braced her knees on the mattress and stretched luxuriously – then fell backwards into soft, cool, downy paradise with a whimsical _poof_. Ah, this was nice.

She didn't even bother to pull the covers up. She just tugged Chibi Luffy out from behind her pillow and cuddled the little plushie in her cleavage, closing her eyes gently… with all the peace she could muster. The result was fabulous.

Her lips curved up. _Mmmmm… won't have any problems getting to sleep __**now**__._

Creak.

Vera groaned. She sat up, opened her eyes, and scanned the room.

The source of the noise was stupidly easy to find. Luffy had "snuck" into her room – desecrating a perfectly good adjective with his utter inability to sneak – and was creeping like an inchworm towards the bed. Vera watched his slow progress, completely unamused. Finally, after a minute or two of fail "sneaking," Luffy reached the foot of her bed. He looked from side to side, but not up.

He rolled under her bed.

Vera sighed. Any other time, that would be completely adorable. But now?

"Luffy, you are _not_ a ninja," she stated flatly. "You are everything _**but**_ a ninja. I am tired, I am comfy, and I want to achieve REM as soon as possible. You are in the way of that. What. Do. You. _Want_?"

There was a moment of silence.

Luffy poked his head out, grinning infectiously. "Gemu o purei shitai?"

The brunette collapsed back onto her bed. "_CHIGAU._" NO.

"Awwwww!"

A second passed before Luffy seemed to realize they were at a stalemate. Vera _felt_ more than heard him wriggle out from under the mattress – with plenty of bumps and _itai_s – and stand, pouting, beside the bed. She could sense his will-destroying puppy-dog eyes boring holes into her back… but despite the fangirl butterflies beating on the walls of her stomach, she tried her best to ignore him. The crappy rubber guy had already woken her halfway, and if she acknowledged him, she'd _never_ get to sleep!

_Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, he'll leave._ Vera closed her eyes again. _ Heck, it's worth a shot._

But Luffy didn't leave. He kept staring – and _staring_. It felt like hours that she lay like that, trembling with nerves, and a barely-contained hormone high. She felt she'd taken a shot of frickin' espresso! And she was supposed to be sleeping…

Suddenly, Luffy crawled onto the bed.

Vera's eyes flew open to find his face barely three inches from her own. "Can't you take a _hint?_!" she cried, instinctively clutching her plushie."_Now_ what are you doing?!"

He appeared to be sniffing her face.

Vera went still with some difficulty, extremely anxious as she waited for him to finish… whatever he was doing. She bit her lip. Her head knowledge of this man told her that she didn't need to worry, that Monkey D. Luffy was practically asexual; he wouldn't try anything. But another part of her body was saying something entirely different. Something she wasn't all too sure she liked. Reminding her of those hard muscles from this afternoon – those abs, luscious and tan, dripping with rivers of _sweat_ and _seawater_…!

Vera felt heat flooding into her cheeks. _Aw, crap. I'm blushing._

* * *

Luffy grinned. "I knew it! Back when we were watching Sogeking on your mystery box, I _thought_ I smelled chocolate! It wasn't the pancakes, it was _you_!"

* * *

_Wait a sec. _The girl blinked, and cocked her head. _Did he just say 'chokoreto'?_

"Oh, chocolate!" Vera nodded, her cheeks still an embarrassing rose pink. "Yeah, I used some chocolate exfoliant in my shower tonight. Smells _sugoi_, doesn't it?"

"Nn!" Luffy agreed.

He leaned in again, so close his face actually touched her cheek. As he nuzzled into her hair, Vera started feeling a touch awkward. So she gave him a little sniff out of courtesy: _He smells like… meat, _she realized. Saliva pooled below her tongue, her senses piqued. _He_ _smells like that standing rib roast Dad makes at Christmastime! Oh, yum. _

* * *

Luffy stuck his tongue in her ear. He made a couple revolutions, not noticing that Vera had twitched and gone stiff as a board under him.

Finally, he took it out, a disappointed look on his face. "It doesn't _taste_ like chocolate!"

* * *

"Sore wa chokoreto no _yona_ aji ga shinai!"

Vera stared at him unintelligibly. Even if she realized what he'd said, her brain had gone completely numb.

Suddenly, a peculiar tingling sensation started in her fingers and toes. It slowly worked up her wrists and ankles, through her limbs, shuddering through her chest… and finally bubbled up from her throat as pure, unadulterated _laughter_. Luffy cocked his head, confused, as the girl erupted in uncontrollable giggles. "Do shita no?"

Tugging her voluminous hair out of the way, Vera abruptly pulled herself into an upright position; the rubber man was forced to back off a few inches or knock heads with her.

She leaned forward into his chest, where his natural scent was the strongest… and allowed her tongue to trace a path from the hollow of his collarbone, up the long, taught stretch of his neck, and along his jaw. "You don't taste like miku, either," Vera told him.

She nipped his earlobe for emphasis. "But _I'm_ certainly not complaining."

"Hah?"

Vera smiled evilly. "Betsu ni." Nothing.

Behind her back, she patted Chibi Luffy's head and stuffed him back under her pillow. _ See ya, plushie! _ She clapped her hands onto real Luffy's shoulders and pulled him down next to her. _I gots the real thing!_

Luffy looked a little confused, but didn't resist when she cuddled into his chest. "Nanda?"

"Shh." Vera adjusted her arms around him, making herself comfortable. Eventually, she found a position that wouldn't cut off her circulation; not caring to be quiet, she settled in. "Hmmmm…"

Several minutes passed like that in the dark.

Vera sighed with contentment; Luffy was the ideal bed partner, awkward as that sounded. His body wasn't exactly cool, but it wasn't too hot either, and when his muscles had relaxed under her, it made for the perfect cushion. Not too hard, not too soft – with hills and crevices in all the right places. Smelling of meat roast and clean, healthy teenage boy.

The brunette smiled gently, shaggy black hair pleasantly tickling her mouth and nose. "You know, Luffy," she purred into his ear, "This afternoon, swimming like you did, and carrying me around like I weighed ten pounds… not a hundred and thirty five? It was pretty, I mean – _you_ were pretty awesome. Sugoi."

There was no response.

Vera sat up. "Luffy?"

The rubber captain's eyes were closed, a snot bubble inflating and deflating from one of his nostrils, drool oozing out from the side of his mouth, snoring like a chainsaw. Fast asleep.

Vera raised an eyebrow critically. _Well, __**that's**__ attractive._

"Chokoreto…" Luffy murmured.

Her eyes widened. _Oh dear._

Vera scrambled to get away, but it was too late. A warm, rough hand snagged her wrist and pulled her back down onto the bed. She had no idea what kind of dream he was having, but this was bad news for her! "Luffy, wake up!" she cried, starting to panic. "Help! _Somebody_!"

CHOMP_._

"_OWWWWWW!_ Get off, this isn't funny! Wait… don't start chewing! _OWW_! It's in the bone! It's in the _boooooooone_!"

Vera's shriek of pain verberated throughout the entire ship. Unfortunately for her, everyone else was already long asleep. In the end, she was the last one awake after all – left to fend against Luffy's sharklike jaw all by herself.

"Chokoreto~!"

It was going to be a long night.

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Dawwwww! Luffy's so kawaii! And Vera's so naughty… I guess she got what she deserved. Also, Sanji finally found out what he was craving. Good for him! **

**Next chapter is arrival at da island! The theme is something that I personally have always wanted to experience. In addition to a rather unexpected, not entirely appreciated little… SURPRISE for the Strawhats. Mwa ha ha ha ha! I'm so evil I could hug myself. I think I will!**

***Hugs self* Stay tuned! =D**


	9. Kibo Hana Island

_**A special shoutout to girl falcona, whose dedication and far-and-in-between review of SOCCP gave me the fuel to  
FINALLY FINISH THIS CHAPTER! So yay her.  
**__**Many hugs and kisses to all my other reviewers as well!**_

**NOW BEFORE YOU READ ANY FURTHER:  
****A quick recommendation. **

**The Wishing Flower Arc* (see bottom) contains many references to One Piece Movie 6. To fully understand a lot of emotional significance in the upcoming chapters, you might want to watch **_**"Baron Omatsuri and the Secret Island"**_**. If you've already seen it… congratulations! It was amazing, wasn't it? Little dark for typical One Piece, but personally, I really liked it.**

**But I've been rambling far too long. Enjoy ze island! XDDD**

* * *

**Chapter 9:**

**Kibo Hana Island**

Morning dawned hot, sunny, and clear, filled with the raucous calls of a thousand homebound gulls. The birds filled the sky in place of clouds, jeering at the Thousand Sunny as it bobbed on the waves, still anchored in place. It would be until after breakfast, like every other morning. But unlike every other morning, off the port bow – amongst the dominating blue of sea and sky – a fuzzy patch of color could be seen on the horizon, even without binoculars. The summer island.

However – in the room of Rosethorne Vera, resident otherworldly chijo – Sanji's mind was not nearly as peaceful as the view. He was looking down in horror upon the scene of an unspeakable crime.

His captain. And Vera-chan. In the same bed.

Sunlight poured in through the window, painting the scene in sharp, blinding relief. Vera's head rested on the _pillow_ for once. Her breathing was slightly strained, her legs were spread slightly to make room for her lanky partner, and both their pajamas were mussed from hours of violent squabbling, mostly one-sided on Vera's part. Nonetheless, a hungry rubber mouth had solicited several colorful bruises along the side of her neck, and teeth marks where an innocent child would not expect to see them. It was an easily misinterpreted position already… But the cherry on top was that over the course of the night, in his sleep, Luffy had eventually kicked and squirmed his way into the most comfortable position on the bed he could get; half on, half off of the warm, soft body below him. His head cradled in her bosom, one hand resting gently on the curve of her left breast.

Sanji slowly raised his leg. "_What do you think…_" he snarled, "_**YOU ARE DOING?!**_"

He landed his captain a crippling blow right in the kidneys.

Luffy shot into wakefulness so fast he got whiplash. "_WHAT_ THE–?!" the rubber man yelped, his right hand unconsciously closing into a fist. Unfortunately, that was the one holding Vera's breast.

_Squish_.

* * *

Vera woke with a start. "OW!"

A blast of agonizing sunlight immediately pierced her retinas, and along with the shouting and screaming and general chaos caused by a confused Luffy being assaulted by a furious Sanji, her brain was violently scrambled. Her body twisted involuntarily. Her fist hit something soft and rubbery – Luffy's face. The rubber man was knocked off balance. Vera twisted off the bed and landed on her back, so hard her head bounced off the hard wooden floor.

Vera moaned and curled into a ball. This was one crappy wakeup call, compared to yesterday! Where was the bed in breakfast? The gentle hello? The _man candy_?!

_I HATE __**MORNINGS**__!_

Something snapped. Screaming a bloodthirsty war cry, Vera joined Sanji in chasing Luffy around her room and proceeded to smack the living tar out of him. One by one, the rest of the Strawhat pirates began to accumulate in the doorway for a view of this fantastic spectacle.

"… _Nanda_…?"

**.oOo.**

"Shima! Shima! Shima!"

Pattering footsteps raced past her on their way to the Sunny's head. Leaning against the railing, Vera groaned past her toothbrush; for a guy who looked like he just walked out of a minefield wearing cement shoes, Luffy was certainly lively.

Usopp scooted up stealthily beside her. "Daijobu –?" he asked, a little nervously.

She rubbed her slightly gnawed-on shoulder. Whether by intention or blind chance, her clothes and hair did manage to cover most of Luffy's marks. Clad in the same jean booty-shorts– she was actually thinking they looked pretty dang good on her now – and Crimin open denim vest, Vera had selected a purple striped shirt and deep violet converses as a variation from yesterday's light blue.

Turning, the girl hocked a glob of toothpaste over the railing.

"Oh, yeah," Vera replied grumpily, hearing it land in the ocean with a satisfying _plop_. "When it's the full moon, I'll turn into a were-Luffy. Every woman's dream."

* * *

Usopp pursed his lips at her huffily. He had an irrational feeling that he'd just been zinged.

"Island! Island! Island!" On the front of the ship, Luffy had jumped onto the Sunny's figurehead and pointed authoritatively at the approaching land mass. "Let's go! Why aren't we there yet?! Come one, come on! Let's _go_!"

Nami whacked him over the head. "We'll _get_ there when _we get there_, _moron_!"

"Let's get there _faster_!"

In the end, Luffy's complaining lasted ten more minutes, competing with the sound of white-tipped, blue-green waves, tossing themselves against the ship's hull – like burbling children, eager to meet and to please – as the Sunny merrily made its way to the edge of the island. This strange new land was as gaily dressed as the pirate ship. Hot summer sun beat down on a great forest of trees of every color, pattern, and texture, extending in a rainbow crest of lush foliage from shore to shore, circled by a border of cliffs, piers, beaches, and weather-worn fishing ships. An occasional roof or smokestack would peek through the multicolored canopy… but at its apex, a grand settlement crowned the island in tall stone turrets, regal crimson roofs, and the festive babble of its population; audible even to the Strawhat's ears, miles away.

The Sunny dropped anchor in shallow water, out of view of the rest of the ships. Luffy immediately leapt off the ship, let out a whoop of excitement, and started to scramble up the steep limestone bluff towards the trees. "Yahoo! Island!"

A pebble turned under his ankle, however, and sent him rolling back down the slope. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow!"

He slid to a stop, a small avalanche of sand and pebbles rattling around his head. Determined, the rubber man jackknifed to his feet and tried again, with similar results. The rest of the Strawhats converged on Nami, doing their best to ignore Luffy's battle with the incline.

The navigator rummaged in her bag. "All right, our mission today is to stock up on food, cola, and shampoo. We also need to buy some stuff for Vera-chan, if possible. She can't keep borrowing my old clothes forever."

Chopper blinked innocently. "But you _have_ enough to last forever."

"Shut up, reindeer." Nami pulled out several small packets. Each clinked with coins; everyone's eyes lit up as they scrambled into single file to get their share of Berries for the day.

"Robin, you're going to help me buy some things for Vera-chan."

The archeologist delicately accepted her packet and moved away. "Yes, Navigator-san."

"Brook, you're buying cola."

"Really?" the skeleton asked, surprised as the slightly larger sum of money was placed in his boney palms. "Franky-san usually does that, does he not?"

Nami waved him away. "That perverted cyborg has been working on something all morning. Said he wanted to finish it. Next!" Still rather confused, Brook wandered over to join Robin. The next share went to a certain blonde-haired cook.

"Sanji, you're on food duty."

Sanji spun away happily. "Yes, Nami-_swan_~!"

"Chopper, you're with Sanji."

"Um, okay." The little doctor took his place at Sanji's side.

Next in line was Usopp. The sniper held out his hands eagerly; he couldn't wait to see what kind of interesting trinkets and doodads that would be for sale on an island like this. _Maybe I'll find something for those new goggle blueprints I designed! _he thought excitedly. _Or some kind of silky fabric, or…!_

"Usopp, you're watching the ship. You too, Zoro."

**"_WHAT_?!"**

Tears of outrage leaked from the sharpshooter's eyes. "You crusher of dreams! I wanted to see the marketplace!"

Sanji kicked him in the ribs. "How dare you call Nami-san a crusher of dreams, you bastard!"

"Down, Sanji-kun."

The cook complied happily, noodling away as Nami pinned Usopp with a stern look. "You know very well we can't leave Vera on the ship unattended, and we certainly can't bring her along _with_ us. If we get attacked, she might get hurt! But if we leave her here alone, she might get lonely – or worse, bored. She seems to like you best, so you can stay and keep her from getting into trouble. You're the only one that can do it."

"So basically, I'm just a glorified babysitter."

"Exactly." Nami slapped his shoulder encouragingly. "We're depending on you, Usopp!"

The sharpshooter stared flatly at her. Then he turned, walked into a corner, and hunkered down into a fetal position. Blatantly sulking.

Vera glanced at him questioningly, mumbling a few words past her toothbrush; when he only groaned in reply, she shrugged and spat another wad of saliva and toothpaste over the railing.

Zoro interjected then. "If Usopp is here, I don't see a reason for _me_ to be!" the swordsman yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at Vera. "I don't even want to be breathing the same _air_ as that thing! It's weird!"

Robin crossed her arms, a knowing smile crossing her face. "My, my, Swordsman-san. We all know you did not trust Rosethorne-san in the first place, but you were never quite this verbal about it. Did something happen? Last night, perhaps?"

_How much does this woman know, exactly? _

Zoro grimaced. But he sure as hell wasn't revisiting _that_ memory, and he certainly wasn't going to recant it in front of the entire crew. "No… she just creeps me out, all right?!"

* * *

Vera scowled. Judging by Zoro's expression, she could guess the infamous marimo swordsman was trying to save face.

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, you know," she growled.

* * *

Everyone looked at Robin. "What'd she say?" Chopper asked.

The archeologist hesitated before answering: "I don't understand, but it might be an expression. She just told Swordsman-san that… he is in denial?"

Zoro turned an unnatural shade of purple.

"Shut up!" he roared at Vera. "I'm not in denial! You're creepy as hell! Why don't you just go back to where you came from?!"

* * *

Her hackles went up. She was guessing all the way across the language barrier, but fortunately or unfortunately, a woman's intuition was a frightful thing. "I am _not_ happy this morning! And don't you start telling me to shut up, baka marimo!" she yelled. "I would go back to my _sekai_ if I could. What with rude, buttmonkey musclehead _kenshi_ running their _mouths_ at me!"

* * *

Zoro gripped his sword threateningly. "You need to learn some _manners_!"

* * *

Vera stood up. "_You_ ruined my innocence!"

* * *

"Don't you start with me, _little girl_!"

* * *

"Oh, yeah, you're twenty-one. I'm seventeen. Respecting your elders and _all that crap_. Thanks, midori oji-chan. Not that it matters, but I'll keep that in _mind_!"

* * *

_Who's she calling a green grandpa?! _"You little bitch!"

* * *

"Aho!"

* * *

"Chijo!"

* * *

The two stared each other down, gasping for breath. Vera glowered into Zoro's hard, emerald-black irises. This guy _pissed_. _Her_. _Off_.

So she went for her ace in the hole.

"Well, I saw you naked, so you can't say _anything_ to me!"

* * *

"What the he– hey!"

Vera turned on her heel and stalked away. Zoro was about to go after her… then reconsidered it, and stumbled to an awkward halt in mid-step. He settled for glaring after her. Everyone else looked hesitantly from their swordsman to Vera's retreating back… just like Zoro, unsure of what had just occurred.

The marimo whipped his eyes around at Robin. "What did she say?"

The archeologist, normally so suave, seemed earnestly shaken. White was visible all around Robin's crystal blue irises, the expression of unadulterated shock as she murmured to herself: "Maybe I heard it wrong, she was speaking very quickly…"

"What did she _say_?!" Zoro demanded.

"S-She said…"

Robin's brow furrowed. "She _touched_ you naked."

Everyone's jaw dropped.

"_EEEEEEEEEHHHH_?!"

The swordsman made a bizarre noise, going from red, to green, to white so fast it was like watching a Christmas light. "W-When the hell did she do that?!" Zoro yelled when he finally found his voice. "And _WHERE_?!"

"First Luffy and now _Zoro_?" Chopper shrieked. "What is _wrong_ with you two?"

"What did she possibly see in that green grandpa?!" Sanji sobbed, pounding his fist into the deck. Usopp patted him on the back, still a little shell-shocked. "Oh, kamisama, is this another one of your trials…?"

Robin looked at Zoro. "You surprise me, Swordsman-san," she whispered, sounding bitterly disappointed in him. "I never would have figured you for that kind of man."

"I'm not! I swear I'm not! She, she just –!"

From the looks on his nakama's faces, he was just digging himself a deeper grave; Zoro stammered unintelligibly, then roared in frustration and turned on Nami. "Even after _that_, you're still going to make me stay?!" he screamed. "There is no way I'm doing it! No way in –!"

"If you don't, I'll add a hundred thousand berries onto your debt."

"But…!"

"Ooooooh, is da big marimo scawed of widdle Vewa?" Nami rolled her eyes at him. "_Honestly_. We'll only be gone for two hours at most. She's a seventeen-year old girl, Zoro. Grow some balls." She vaulted over the railing, using her Climatact to poke Luffy up the slope. "Come on, everybody. Let's go."

The crew stared after her for a moment.

Then they shrugged at each other and followed the navigator, leaving Zoro gaping and Usopp stunned, alone on the deck.

**.oOo.**

The sun made its way slowly but surely across the warm, periwinkle sky. The air, already laden with moisture and summer heat, had grown thicker and hotter as the afternoon wore on, and the only relief – small as it was – was to be found in the dappled kaleidoscope of rainbow-colored shade, which played across the shoulders of seven Strawhats as they trudged up the island's arduous incline. It felt like they'd been climbing for _hours_; even Sanji was starting to feel the burn. Luffy, however, darted excitedly around the forest… smelling flowers, running into trees, and chasing the occasional beetle or butterfly with his usual boundless energy.

"This is so COOL! Look at this, look at that, look at – _WAUGHLGAU_!"

Luffy's nakama tried to ignore the rubber man's cry of distress, as he was clotheslined at top speed by a low-hanging branch. "Oooooow… that huuuuuuurt…"

"May we please stop for a break, Nami-san?" Brook asked politely.

Nami, although she was tired and breathless as the rest of them, shook her head. "No," she gasped, leaning against the beaded trunk of a tall purple plant. "We have to be almost there by now. Just a couple more minutes."

"My legs are killing me!" the skeleton moaned. "Ah, but I am already dead. Yohohohoho~!"

The others rolled their eyes and kept walking. Brook sighed; he scratched his afro. Something was worrying him. "Do you really think Zoro-san will be all right?" he wondered aloud.

"Zoro's a big boy," Nami replied. "He can handle himself. Why?"

"I suppose, he just seems to be acting strange ever since Vera-san came aboard."

Robin nodded. "I've noticed that, as well."

Sanji stretched a fist towards the heavens. "It's no excuse for being so rude to our beautiful angel!" he cried, a river of tears slopping down his left cheek as he agonized over the visage of his lovely brunette. "Ah, Vera-chwan, forgive that ungrateful, shitty grandpa for telling you to go home, and in such a brutal fashion~!"

Trotting along in full reindeer form, Chopper stared intently at their cook. "Sanji, you do realize that Zoro is the same age as you," he pointed out. "Calling him a grandpa is…"

"Chopper-san."

The doctor looked at Brook. "Hm?"

"Perhaps it is best to let that go."

"But –!"

Brook patted Chopper's fluffy, sweat-matted fur. "Just let it go."

"Well, Zoro did bring up a serious issue, even if he didn't realize it." The pair started and glanced over at Nami; the orange-haired woman's brow was furrowed, her cinnamon eyes cold and calculating. "Vera… she seems comfortable now, but eventually, she'll want to go back to where she came from. But when that time comes, then what? We now next to nothing _about_ her world, let alone how to return her to it."

Luffy rushed up to her. "Hey, Nami! Look at this flower I found!"

Nami balked, taking a few steps back as a large, dark flower was shoved into her face. It was just opened – the velvety outside of its five petals so black, that they radiated a sheen of iridescent purple in the sunlight. A starburst of royal sea blue and palest lilac filled the blossom's throat, diffusing into its hoard of glittering golden nectar. It had an incredible scent… it smelled of oranges, treasure, crisp paper, bottles of newly opened ink, and a pleasant underlying fragrance of vanilla.

Luffy inhaled deeply. "Isn't it awesome?! It smells like meat and chocolate!"

The navigator waved her overly energetic captain off. "Oh, yes, yes, it smells nice. Very pretty. Why don't you go gather a bouquet?"

"Okay!"

"Like I was saying…" Nami continued as Luffy ran off, eagerly searching for the place he'd found the lovely blossom. "We need to find someone who knows about these otherworlders. I mean, Vera can't _possibly_ be the first one, right? There has to be a record of their arrivals. A celestial census, or something…"

"I'm not sure it works that way, Navigator-san."

Everyone looked around at Robin. The archeologist wore a slightly amused smirk. "Even if a record like that does exist," she was saying, "it would hardly be kept by an average immigration supervisor, would it? It would be highly classified information – more likely than not, only known by a sky-high authority in the World Government. And perhaps it wouldn't even tell us anything about this 'Other World' at all.

"All hypothetically speaking, of course, I believe our best course of action would be to find an actual otherworlder… or a person who knew one." Robin shook her head. "Either way, it would take a miracle."

Nami sighed disappointedly. "I guess you're right…"

A couple more minutes passed as they resumed hiking up the trail. Birds twittered, flirting colorful tail feathers and their sleek – with a few of them – multiple heads. Twigs crunched under the Strawhat's feet. All was quiet.

"It's too quiet," Sanji said.

The blonde cook stopped in his tracks, his ocean-blue eye panning across the discomfortingly silent landscape. "Where'd that shitty piece of rubber get to?"

Chopper looked back at him. "Didn't he go to gather wildflowers?"

"But that was at least five minutes ago."

The skin around Sanji's eyes tightened. "You don't think he got lost, do you?"

"..."

There was a moment of silence.

Then, the air filled with a storm of irate swearing. But one was most dominant amongst them:

"_DAMMIT, LUFFY_!"

"M-Maybe he made his way to the city!" Chopper stammered.

Brook pointed desperately up the hill. "Quickly, please!"

The seven Strawhats broke into a full-out sprint, racing up the hill in a scramble to get to the settlement at the apex of the island. What Chopper said was true, after all. Odds _were_ that their trouble seeking captain would end up in the one place where he could cause the most chaos. This was _bad_…!

"Ah!"

Brook looked curiously at the reindeer galloping beside him. "What do you think Franky is working on back on Lion-chan, Chopper-san?"

"_THIS IS SO NOT THE TIME!_"

* * *

_**BOOM!**_

"_Kyaaaaaaa_!"

Usopp shrieked and flailed backwards, hands flying into a defensive position as a thunderous explosion sounded from inside the workshop.

The sniper glared suspiciously as smoke began to billow out from under the door. Here he was, minding his own business, when all of a sudden Oda-kamisama decides to bring the rain! Usopp was torn – his natural response was to investigate, to see if Franky was all right. But he had somehow managed to lose Vera _already_ and was currently searching the Sunny like a maniac! He didn't have time for this! But if their shipwright was somehow injured by the explosion…

Then, raucous coughing reached his ears from behind the door. "OW! Stupid audio circuits!"

Yeah, he was fine.

Usopp drew away. _Okay, _he thought, returning to what was currently his most urgent issue, _I checked the stern, the bow, the girl's rooms, the guy's quarters, her room, below decks, I even checked in the bathroom! Where else is there to –?_

Splat.

The sharpshooter let out another girlish squeal and hit the deck as a small white projectile flew past his cheek. It struck the door with a wet smack; he lay there, trembling, waiting for the next bullet.

All at once, Usopp realized something. _Wait, what bullet goes 'splat'?_ He sat up abruptly, taking a second look at the "bullet" that had sent him into such a tizzy.

It was… oozing.

The sharpshooter hopped to his feet. Moving cautiously, he slowly peeled the thing off the door. It was wet, and warm, and it had a familiar texture.

Usopp's mouth dropped. _This is a spitball! GROSS!_

Revolted, he threw the wet ball of paper on the ground, wiped his fingers on his pants, and peered in the direction the projectile had come from. Who dared to shoot a spitball at the great Captain Usopp?! From the thing's velocity, and the – _bleughhh_ – splatter pattern, it must have come from…

Usopp flicked his eyes up to the crow's nest.

Sure enough, that impish face of Vera's was visible through the open window, the sounds of her amusement intermingling with those of the seagulls. Usopp scowled and propped his hands on his hips; he felt he had some kind of irresponsible kid. _She is __**so**__ immature, _he thought.

Suddenly, something at the base of the foremast caught Vera's attention. She grinned with malicious intent; an emotion that, on her face, already sent shivers up Usopp's spine. He followed her wicked gaze, and realized Zoro was right below her – completely oblivious, dozing against the foremast. Her cheeks swelled slightly, and her lips puckered.

Usopp's eyes widened. _She's not gonna…?!_

She was gonna.

Vera spit and ducked. The sharpshooter watched, disbelieving, as the loogie fell swiftly through the air and connected solidly with the top of the Santoryuu swordsman's marimo head.

_SPLAT._

Zoro cracked open one eye. "Splat?"

Usopp clapped his hands over his mouth, trying to smother the mad giggles that bubbled up from his stomach. The swordsman's brow furrowed. Looking almost mystified, he reached up to feel his hair.

His eye went round as a tea saucer.

Zoro leapt to his feet and unsheathed Shuusui, threatening the mob of seagulls flying above the Sunny. "WHICH ONE O' YOU FRIGGIN' BIRDS CRAPPED ON MY HEAD?! _EH_?! _THIRTY-SIX POUND CANNON_!"

A compressed wave of blue light blasted through the flock. Seagulls scattered every which way, cackling at the swordsman's expense. More than anything, the sight of Roronoa Zoro attempting to exact vengeance against a mob of goofy, bedraggled sea birds made Usopp lose it. The long-nosed man doubled over laughing. Up in the crow's nest, he was sure Vera was doing the same.

The sniper gasped, trying to catch his breath.

Still sniggering, Usopp wandered over to the rigging, tanned fingers hooking onto the first rope. She couldn't aim worth crap… but still, he couldn't help but be a tiny bit impressed by Vera's sneak attack. On both of them.

Usopp smirked, and began to climb._ And I'm supposed to be the sniper here._

**.oOo.**

"_There it is_!"

Hearts galloping, lungs heaving, and dripping with sweat, the Strawhats finally reached the top of the island. Most of them immediately doubled over, gasping for breath. Chopper even collapsed; the heat paired with the exertion had proved too much for his winter coat. Robin, however, leaned against a building, although she was panting just as hard as the rest of her nakama. But because she was standing, she got the first look at the city that crowned such a magnanimous slope.

The archeologist's first impression was that of noise. Countless throngs of people choked the carved stone streets – chattering mothers, laughing children, screaming onlookers, yelling merchants, wailing infants – all dressed in yukatas, red and orange and gold and blue and white… which led Robin to her next impression; that of color. The people were bedecked in all colors of the rainbow, just like the forest and its wildlife that the Strawhats finally had at their backs. Stalls of all types were set up on either sides of the streets, their tenders offering everything from goldfish catching to masks to fried takoyaki. Customers milled from one stall to another in a great sea of colors and shades. The smells of food, perfume, and excitement permeated the air. Lanterns were strung between the buildings, roofs dripping with banners and confetti.

Robin swallowed, finally catching her breath.

"It looks like there's some type of festival going on."

Nami raised her head. "You don't sa–?"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a hoard of cobalt-clad figures appeared – surrounding the Strawhats faster than a thought. Before any of the pirates could react, one of them had grabbed Nami; pressing the edge of his knife on the soft white skin of the navigator's belly. The rest of them lowered fearsome-looking partisans at the stunned Strawhats. It all took place in less than a second.

"Welcome to Kibo Hana Island, pirates," said the man holding Nami. "Tell us where your captain is."

"_Nami_!"

"Nami-san!" Sanji cried. He moved as if to take a step towards her.

"Not a move."

The cook froze, as did the rest of the crew. The man spoke calmly and levelheadedly. Somehow, it was even more terrifying than if he had been screaming like a madman. "Let's be professional about this, now shall we? Either you spill your guts…"

The soldier angled his weapon deliberately on Nami's exposed flesh. "Or I spill hers."

**.**

* * *

**CLIFFY! =D**

**Okay, I admit it was short (compared to the others) and it took too long to post. Gomenasai! I had writer's block. I have no excuses for the lateness of it – but I do have a reason why it's short! Because this was just setting the scene to begin SOCCP's first real storyline arc… my "Wishing Flower" Arc! **

**The **_**real**_** action begins next chapter. FOLLOW AND JOIN THE FANDOM. WE HAVE PANCAKES.**


	10. The Wishing Flowers

**YAY! Took 2 weeks, but what the heck. It's a long one!**

* * *

**Chapter 10:**

**The Wishing Flowers**

_He thought the seagulls did it!_

Vera was having trouble breathing, she was laughing so hard. Curled up in a ball below the crow's nest window, she squeaked desperately for air and pounded the floor with her palms.

"Oh! Ha ha, ahhhh…"

Finally, she sat up and sniffed, wiping tears of mirth from her cheeks. "Well, that was fun," she said to herself.

Inner Vange rolled her eyes. _You are __**so**__ immature._

Fangirl shoved her out of the way. _And you're a stick in the mud!_ sniggered Vera's voice of frivolity. _ That was __**gold**__! Encore, encore!_

Vera bowed in four directions. "Sank you, sank you, babay!" she announced, Usopp-Versus-Mister-Four-style. "Sank you, sayonara! I'll be signing autographs laters!"

Then, the girl tightened her ponytail. "Very well."

She peeped back over the windowsill, wicked smile back on her lips. "Let's search for our next target."

It was tougher than she thought it'd be. Her prime targets – the seagulls, on which she'd been practicing her marksmanship until two oblivious Strawhats had caught her attention – weren't exactly prime targets anymore. What with Zoro chasing them all over the sky with his various Pound Hous. Well, hilarious as that was. Vera felt a pathetic smile tugging at her lips. _I swear, _she thought. _Only the marimo…_

That was when she saw it.

A new ship had pulled up to the pier. Vera's wide brown eyes narrowed at the unexpected patch of blue, white, and dark grey against the colorful docks – or more accurately, the symbol on its sail. _Is that…?_

It was.

_WOW. I am freaking __**good**__. _

Vera patted her head, sending congratulations to her delightfully twisted mind. _G5, huh? Well done, brilliant little brain of mine. This should make things VERY interesting._

She plopped her head down on her arms, spitballing forgotten. _I just wish I could be there to see it first-person…_

* * *

Meanwhile, on the apex of the island, the Strawhats went still. They eyed the blue-clad soldiers surrounding them with very real caution. Those partisans looked very sharp, and their wielders capable. All around the pirates, razor-thin edges glittered threateningly in the sun – like the fangs of some exotic beast – ready to slice down and skewer them all at the slightest provocation.

The soldiers edged forward, jabbing in a well-rehearsed pattern… as if they'd done this many times in not many hours.

The Strawhats were forced back, clustered together in the circle of spears. Sanji's eyes flicked warily at those gleaming edges. He cursed aloud; if Nami wasn't being threatened, he could have kicked these stupid spears aside and opened a path for the rest of his nakama to attack.

The cook gritted his teeth. "Damn, where's Luffy when you need him?" he muttered. "Guys, on three, I'm gonna make a break for Nami-san. Then you –!"

"_No_."

Heads turned towards Robin. "These people are formidable," she told her friends.

As if that wasn't already evident. But the archeologist's blood ran cold with a sickening blend of dread and adrenaline. There was something in the way that soldier held his knife against Nami's belly; whoever… or whatever, he was, he was a capable killer. For that matter, all company present.

The archeologist ran her eyes over the crowd. "They seem very serious about killing Navigator-san if we don't behave." Surely, with a crowd as large as this, someone would have noticed the situation by now.

But what she saw made her even more wary of the citizens than the soldiers.

Many, many people had noticed the situation. No one was coming to help. No one had screamed. No one had even called out. They were _eating_ – munching on snacks, as if they were watching some kind of spectator sport – before melting back into the sea of bodies. Not one of them showed any sign that such a display was out of the norm.

"Another bunch of pirates," one adult said tiredly.

Robin noticed a bunch of teenagers that had actually stopped to watch. "Hope they actually leave a few to run this time," she heard one saying through a mouthful of cotton candy. "They're still cleaning up the bits of that last crew."

"Spill her guts, Mars!" another cheered. "Give us a show! It's been hours!"

The soldier holding Nami did not look away. "This is not a show, Broker," said he. "We can handle this. Go back to the festival."

The teens pouted, but didn't complain. They rejoined the crowds.

With that distraction gone, Robin's eyes slid back to their most immediate threat. A deep, undecorated helmet hid each soldier's face, keeping their eyes in shadow and their expressions unreadable. Their cobalt armor was light and flexible. It covered everything but their fingertips – even the observant Robin couldn't tell their skin color, or even gender, for certain. They all wore well-made boots and gloves, but they obviously weren't for decoration. Many were splattered with what looked like dried gore. But one thing they all had in common… a black and gold insignia, etched into their breastplates and shoulder pieces. It could have been a sun, or a flower.

Robin glanced around. Now that she had a chance to look, that symbol was everywhere. Deep blue, black, and gold… on banners, fans, masks, lanterns.

_I feel like I have seen that somewhere._

"I don't have all the time in the world, pirates." The head soldier bent Nami's spine a little farther, pressing in his dagger. "As this _is_ our busy season. I will ask you one more time. Where is your captain? On the ship? Among you, or already among the masses? Come on now!"

Nami piped up. "We don't know _where_ he is! He disappeared on the way up!" she yelled, outrage evident in her voice. She wrestled against the iron fingers that held her captive. "So if that's finished, let me go – _OW_!"

She cried out as the man tightened his grip on her. "Stop it! That hurts, you – _ah_…!"

The blade was lifted so that its point created a harsh dimple in her skin. Its wielder didn't even have to press down; her flesh split under the dagger's weight like the skin of a ripe grape. A solitary bead of gory red trickled over her stomach.

All the blood drained from Nami's face.

"When I said 'Not a move,' pirate _bitch_," Mars hissed in her ear. "I meant you, too!"

He gripped the hilt.

Suddenly, Robin realized where she had seen that symbol.

_**Back on the slope, Captain-san had rushed up to Navigator-san, excited as ever. "Hey, Nami! Look at this flower I found!"**_

_**Robin had smirked as the other woman balked, taken by surprise as a large, dark flower was shoved into her face. It was just opened – the velvety outside of its five petals so black, that they radiated a sheen of iridescent purple in the sunlight. A starburst of royal sea blue and palest lilac filled the blossom's throat, diffusing into its hoard of glittering golden nectar. Robin could smell its mouth-watering aroma from several feet away… like just-upturned earth, the air of a lost jungle, the pages of a new book, and various lovely fragrances that she wouldn't have thought would work together, but did. All with the underlying scent of fresh vanilla.**_

_**Captain-san inhaled deeply. "Isn't it awesome?! It smells like meat and chocolate!"**_

_**Robin had thought that was a little strange, that it would smell like something completely different to her captain than to her. She took a mental picture of the flower. Perhaps it was for aromatherapy, or some other use on this island.**_

The archeologist threw out her hands. "Wait!"

The soldier paused at Robin's outburst.

His head inclined ever so slightly; she couldn't see his eyes, but he was definitely looking at her. "And… you are?" he asked in a light baritone.

Robin's mind raced. Judging by everything she'd seen, that flower Captain-san had picked was something important enough to be the centerpiece of an entire festival. At a stretch, perhaps even an entire nation; for what reason, she could only guess. This _was_ the Grand Line. But with that in mind, if these soldiers wore the symbol _etched_ into their armor – not just painted – they were native and well-liked, possibly an elite force. Powerful enough to take down New World pirate crews like small fry. And if the teenage citizen's reactions were anything to go by, this small group of blue-armored soldiers butchered entire crews at least once a day.

But they weren't Marines. So maybe they could talk their way out of this.

"Excuse me… Mars-san, was it?"

Robin felt eyes on her as she straightened, graceful hands smoothing her sari skirt… the very image of professionalism. She aimed a level gaze at the soldier holding Nami captive. "I am afraid we cannot meet your demands, because we do not know where our captain is."

A wave of hostility swept from the circle of spearmen. The blades edged closer, shifting with the discontent of their owners. Robin heard several of her nakama swallow. "So," said Mars, an edge in his tone, "you will not produce your leader?"

"It's not that we _will_ not, it's that we _cannot_."

"I see." Mars seemed amused by her wordplay. "_Could_ you find him for us?"

Robin did not relax. "We _would_ not. We don't even know where to start; also, I suspect you of foul play. That is not exactly ideal incentive to fetch our captain."

"I could _provide_ incentive by killing your," Mars shook Nami indicatively, making her voluminous breasts bounce, "busty crewmate here."

"I'd rather you not do that."

"Then it appears we are at a stalemate."

Privately, the archeologist had no choice but to agree.

It was infuriating. Normally, Robin could talk circles around anyone she chose to. But this person was just as silver-tongued as herself. Now, she opened herself up to violent options… but here too she was met with a stalemate. New World warriors as they were, these people would know all about Devil Fruit powers. Robin had no doubt she could snap Mars's neck, but she'd have half a dozen spears in her throat before she could even shift her focus to a second. Not to mention Navigator-san's life hung in the balance; she was already bleeding, and white with terror.

Robin's stomach tightened. _Where is Captain-san when we need him…?_

"Hey, guys!" Luffy shouted.

The Strawhats all stared at their idiot captain, who was marching down the cobblestone street as if he owned it, eating a kabob of fried mystery-meat and followed by a tall man in the same cobalt armor as their assailants. However, this soldier was not wearing a helmet. Perhaps in his early or mid-twenties, he stood over six feet tall and seemed to be an officer of rank – with gilded shoulder-pieces and a gold-brushed belt, hung with a coinpurse and several fortunes in high-quality weaponry. A long black mantle billowed behind him like a raven's wings. His short-cropped hair was an ugly brown, but overwhelmed by an aristocratic nose and eyes like cut crystal. Next to the goofy, colorful parrot that was Luffy… this man was a dark, regal bird of prey.

Mars's helmet turned, but he did not draw the knife away from his captive. "Captain Hideki?"

The Strawhat captain took another bite of his questionable-looking kabob. "'Bout time you got here, guys!" he told his crewmates, not quite absorbing the scene before him. "You gotta try this, it's _sooooo_ –!"

Then he paused.

Luffy's black eyes ran over the stunned faces of his crew. The blades pointed at their vitals. The armored people surrounding them. And most importantly… the blood that was starting to trickle down Nami's side.

A vein popped out in his temple. "_What are you doing to my nakama_?!"

Then, to the neutral surprise of everyone, he whirled on the caped, blue-armored man as he came up beside him. "Where _these_ the guys you were talking about?!" Luffy roared, gesturing at the soldiers madly with his kabob. "'Cuz I sure _hope_ not!"

The man raised a heavy eyebrow, pale irises hard and sharp as he analyzed the situation. "Me too," he admitted shortly.

Mars made a quarter-turn, dragging the flinching Nami with him. "What are you doing with Strawhat Luffy, sir?" he asked Luffy's scrutinizing companion. When the large officer didn't respond immediately, Mars just shook his helmet. "Oh, never mind that. You always have your reasons. Captain, this band of pirates has refused to show me their leader."

"Right beside me, Marsie."

The helmet twitched. "…Strawhat Luffy is their captain?"

The officer actually rolled his eyes. It looked strange on such an intimidating individual – with such a sharp, clipped way of speaking. "Take it you _didn't_ go through the wanted posters like I asked you to. Yes. Let the Cat Burglar go, dearest."

The helmeted figure reluctantly released Nami.

Hideki nodded approvingly. "Good girl."

"_**GIRL**_?!"

Sanji, Nami, Chopper, and Brook all fell on their faces. Even Robin was taken aback.

But just as quickly, Sanji leapt to his feet. "No!" he cried in denial, pointing an accusatory finger in Mars's very unfeminine-looking direction. "There is no way this violent _beast_ is a woman! No lovely and delicate woman would wear something so unflattering –"

Mars pulled off her helmet.

"– And would hurt my poor Nami-swa… swa… swaaaaaaaaah…"

The erotic cook trailed off, completely stupefied. A long, glossy black dream was spilling out of Mars's helmet, falling past her shoulders in the gleaming, ebony falls of her hair. But in the face, she was not beautiful. In fact, she was very average-looking – a short and stocky, but solid build. No makeup, intelligent brown eyes, imperfect skin, and a thin, humorless mouth. Her bust size was left a mystery by the shape of her breastplate. Still, thick lashes and a long, swanlike neck balanced out her rough features into a type of rugged, military elegance; if her appearance was to be any indication, she was an old thirty, or a young forty.

She glared at him coldly. "Commander Deiter _Marsela_. Nice to meet you."

"Mars" tucked the helmet under her arm. Sanji passed out.

The soldiers had brought their spears up hastily when they had first spotted Luffy's large companion. As Chopper panicked and screamed for a doctor, said man brushed back his cape with a flourish, bowed at the waist, and took Nami's hand.

"I," he announced, kissing her fingertips courteously, "am her captain. Captain Kaiser Hideki, at your service, Cat-san. Sorry about the treatment my subordinates put you through."

"Oh, it's all right, no need to bow and scrape," Nami replied without thinking, flapping her other hand in dismissal.

Then she paused.

"_Wait a second_!"

Nami whirled on her captain. "Luffy, who the _heck_ is this guy?!" the orange-haired woman demanded, pointing at Hideki – who kept a hesitant hold on her other hand. "How do you know him? What is this place? Who are these people? And what are you doing being all buddy-buddy with him, ehh?!"

"Oh, that's Hideki!" Luffy replied through a mouthful of kabob. "He found me when I was picking those wildflowers, and asked for my name."

"Did you _give_ it to him?!"

"Yeah. Anyway, he was really nice and bought me this awesome snack! He said he had some friends that could help me find you guys. He said they were nice too, but apparently not!"

Hideki waved a large hand to stop him. "Don't be hissy. Already apologized, and I can explain everything," he interrupted.

He straightened and brushed off the front of his carapace. "Over brunch, though. Starving."

Luffy, won over by the mere mention of food, nodded eagerly. "Me too!"

The officer aimed a pale glance at Mars. "Join us, Commander?" he said. It wasn't a question.

The dark-haired woman raised her jaw and obeyed; even though it wasn't aimed at them, the Strawhats felt sheepish just being in her captain's line of vision. The odd bunch filed slowly after Luffy – a still-unconscious Sanji toted along on Chopper's back – and their cobalt-clad escorts.

Robin, however, lagged behind them.

She closed her eyes. _Oreja Fleur._

The archeologist opened her eyes, as a fair white ear appeared amongst a flutter of pink petals – on the shoulder piece of the newly discovered woman commander, Mars. The pair had been speaking to each other under their breath, but now she could hear everything they whispered.

"… these _those_ Strawhats, sir?" Marsela was saying. "The pirates the Gale Dancer foretold?"

Robin saw the captain shrug his shoulders under heavy armor. "Don't know, Marsie-chan, what do _you_ think?" he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "The only Strawhat pirates we've seen all day. They all look exactly like their wanted posters… except for Black Leg. Poor man. Wrong way to get your face out there."

"He seems crude and boorish to me."

"Well, Commander, gonna have to suck it up, 'cause you screwed up big time. These pirates? Vital to tonight's events. And their 'Vera' girl."

"Whoever _that_ is." Mars sighed, shaking her glossy black head. "You know, Captain Hideki, I've never liked pirates, and if I had not seen the evidence of that girl's abilities so many times, I would say gut the Strawhats and to hell with the consequences. But the Gale Dancer is different. Sometimes… sometimes I catch myself believing she's from another _world_."

The corners of Hideki's mouth turned up. "Yup. Girl's special, all right."

Robin's flowered ear dissolved off his armor, her real head buzzing with the weight of the conversation that she had just heard. And all it implied.

**.oOo.**

A short time later, the party of nine was seated in a quaint outdoor grill, chowing down on supposed "specialty" of Kibo Hana Island; Genghis kahn and assorted vegetables, fried with sweet oranges and drizzled with soy sauce, all on a pile of tangy pink rice. For the Strawhats, the mix of strange new flavors was a bit overwhelming at first – but halfway through their second plate, all of them liked it. Finally, the last plate was taken away and they all sat back with a sigh of contentment. Luffy was swollen like a carnival balloon, as usual.

Then, instead of dessert, the servers brought a wide tray and set it right in the middle of their table – piled high with pale mint candy. The sweets were about the approximate size and shape of Rumble Balls, but with a stunning white-green color. Immediately, the two armored natives scooped up a handful and popped three into their mouths.

Chopper blinked. "What are those for?" he asked. The little doctor had returned to his chibi form after patching up Nami and Sanji. Mars, however, ignored the cute plushie-like creature and placed another two candies on her tongue.

Hideki swallowed and smiled. "Try one. You'll see," he told the doctor.

The Strawhats looked at each other and shrugged. One by one, they took a candy… and put it in their mouths.

Almost immediately, all of them gasped.

"_**GAAH**_!"

Nami, Sanji, and Chopper catapaulted themselves out of their chairs, jittering and writhing on the floor like a bunch of Mexican jumping beans. Brook ran in circles around his chair, laughing like a maniac as violent shivers coursed through his marrow. Luffy slammed his head on the table over and over. The flavor was so powerful it was almost painful. The surface of the candy seemed to explode on their tongues, practically shocking their teeth out and sending waves of freezing sparks down their throat. Even Robin gasped, pressing her palms against her tingling eyes – it felt like her lungs had caught fire. Vision was obscured in a flash of white, hearing was buried by a roar of sound. For several seconds, the only thing that existed was the freezing, shocking sensation of the candy.

Suddenly, the pain was gone. Robin opened her eyes. She had never felt more awake and aware in her life. She could see everything in unbelievable razor clarity. She could _hear_ a dust spider walking along the ceiling. It was incredible.

The archeologist blinked several times. "Amazing…" she whispered. She wiggled her fingers, fascinated by the play of light over their etched whorls. The rest of her nakama looked just as dazzled.

Hideki, meanwhile, was laughing his head off. "OH! _Never_ get tired of that! When foreigners eat… _AHAHA_!

Mars ignored her captain's hysterics and swallowed another. "They increase your adrenaline levels and heighten brain function. They take effect fast, last long, and are certainly healthier than drugs or coffee. We call them 'boot mints.'"

"Why, if I may ask?"

Marsela raised one of her narrow black brows at Robin. "They have a 'kick' to them, of course," she replied, like she was speaking to a simpleton. She plucked another one from the dish and bounced it in her palm. "Also, if you eat more than one and aren't used to them, it becomes a potent aphrodesiac. So be careful, little bon-bon, and don't eat too many."

Robin stared at her flatly.

Behind the archeologist, Hideki looked at her sharply.

Reluctantly slipping the boot mint between her lips, Mars narrowed her eyes, turned, and bowed her head towards Nami – who squinted up from the floor. "I am very sorry for my treatment of you earlier. Please forgive me," she deadpanned around the candy, and straightened.

Her captain arched a heavy eyebrow at her. "That the best you can do?"

"Yes, sir."

Kaiser Hideki ran a hand over his bristly head. "Always have had a way with words," he sighed, picking up a toothpick. "Now that the meal is over, I guess I can start explaining myself."

He began to poke at his teeth. The Strawhats grew still… all except for Luffy, who had tried to eat another boot mint and was vibrating like he had touched a live wire.

"Mars and I are part of the group that uphold the law on this island," he began. "We don't answer to Marines or pirates of any rank or strength. On Kibo Hana Island, we are legislature, clergy, protectors of the populace… and executioners if need be. We also serve another purpose.

"To protect our queen and young goddess. Shizuka, the Gale Dancer."

* * *

Hearing the trapdoor open, Vera turned, curious as to who would be visiting her all the way up here in the crow's nest.

That was when a familiar, long-nosed face made its grinning appearance over the edge.

Usopp gave her a brilliant thumbs up. "Nice-ah!"

Vera smirked. "Oh, thank you," she said, acknowledging the sharpshooter as he climbed up into the crow's nest and shut the trapdoor behind him. A bubble of laughter burst in her belly. "Pffft! Zoro never saw that coming, did he? Ah…"

She sighed, immensely pleased with herself. "Sorry, I tend to do crazy things when I'm bored."

Usopp crossed the room, plunking down criss-cross applesauce beside her. "Kamome?" he snickered. He made flapping motions, cawing like a seagull.

He made a splatting sound. "Zoro ni kuso? Ha ha!"

Then, the sharpshooter did an amazing impression of Zoro, pantomiming swinging a sword around. "'_Poundo Hou_!'" he cried, in hilarious semblance to the marimo. "Wshhh, wshhhh!"

The long-nosed man doubled over, holding his stomach as he guffawed towards the ceiling. Vera collapsed in laughter too, partly at Usopp and partly at the sheer hilarity of what she had done. "Barrel roll!" she gasped out. "Evasive maneuvers! You have entered a falling crap zone!"

"Urusai, chijo!" came a furious voice from down below. "Amarini mo _urusai_!"

Vera and Usopp stared wide-eyed for a second.

Then burst out laughing again, slapping the walls and rolling across the floor.

"Ah!" Usopp recovered before she did, wiping tears from his eyes as he finally sat up. "Sugoi… Naze kare ga son'nani kiraina no?"

She stared flatly at him. "Any chance for charades?"

"Eto…"

He shrugged at her: "Riyu."

"Why?" Vera watched the sharpshooter closely as he pantomimed out each word; next, he pointed to her. "Me. Oh, 'I.' Why do I – um, _strangle_?"

Usopp blinked. "_Kirai_," he repeated, repeating his motion like he was throttling the air. "Nikumu? Daikirai?"

"Kill? Hate?" Her eyes lit up. "Oh, hate? Okay, why do I hate…?"

"Zoro."

…_What?_

"Nani?" Vera raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't kirai Zoro. What are you talking about?"

Usopp gaped at her. "Anata wa itsumo kare ni itazura o saisei!" he exclaimed, ticking off on his fingers. "Anata wa kare o nirami tsukeru to sakebu to kare to giron... AH!"

His face lit up.

Vera was completely lost… until a sly grin came over Usopp's face. She'd seen that face on more of her best friends to even count; when she glanced at a cute guy, or said a guy was cute or cool. And they said she _liked_ liked them.

"Anata wa," he snickered, "Zoro ga suki!"

* * *

Zoro sneezed.

* * *

Vera flapped a hand in dismissal, nose wrinkled in disgust. "Zoro? No way. Chigau. Well, sure, he's hot and badass and muscular and all that, but even if he was real and all this _wasn't_ a crack-induced _hallucination_, he'd never be more than a side of eye-candy. Not to mention he's a violent psychopath, consumed by his goals, practically asexual, and – what, four years older than me? I need a stable guy around _my_ age, who has good social skills, good looks, and a better brain. With lots of PEP."

From the look on his face, Usopp was clearly lost. "Peppu?"

"_PEP_. Potential Earning Power."

Vera smiled, tucking a rogue curl behind her ear. "My kaasan used to say I'm a bottle of contradictions, achieving hormone high over some sexy Japanese cartoon and then talking about wanting a '_sensible'_ guy."

She shrugged. "Meh, I know my teenage hormones will abate over time. When I turn twenty five, my brain will be developed, medically speaking – then I'll have to embrace reality as a fully-fledged adult. That sounds like fun, right? So I intend to enjoy my youth while I can, and all that comes with it."

Within her subconscious, Inner Vange nodded approvingly. _I'm impressed, Vera, _she complimented her sister-slash-host, a rare note of pride in her rich alto. _Under all those hormones, you really are a sensible girl._

Vera waggled her eyebrows at a stunned-looking Usopp. "Even the _visuals_… if you know what I mean."

Vange scowled. _I take it back._

Usopp, too, looked a bit taken aback. "Shinai Zoro?" he asked.

"Nope, no Zoro."

Usopp steepled his fingers, like some kind of leather-clad supervillain. "Sanji?"

* * *

Sanji sneezed explosively. Everyone jumped.

* * *

Fangirl leaned out of her subconscious office in Vera's brain, hanging eagerly on the doorknob. _Oh boy, Sanji! Here we go!_

Vera grinned, a slight naughty blush blessing her cheeks. "Ahhhh, a girl does love a man who can cook," she admitted. Then she shook her head. "But no. For one thing, he's a womanizer, yet has no idea what really turns a woman on. He's a total baka in that arena. Kind of a paradox. Two, we have the same problem with age as we did with Zoro. He has the most PEP of any of the boys on board, though – except perhaps Chopper.

"So, Sanji? Nah. Like you said… shinai Sanji."

* * *

_Not Sanji?_ Usopp thought, genuinely taken by surprise. _It's not exactly unexpected – being _Sanji_ and all – but I thought she'd be one to go for looks alone. Still, she was rambling for a while, and what was that 'pep' thing she was talking about?_

Vera seemed pleased that she'd rendered him speechless. She had; but as she turned her head to look out the window – gazing upon the beautiful foliage of the island – Usopp's eyes strayed to the cluster of bruises on her neck.

That gave him another idea. Someone else whom she might be interested in. It was a stretch, yes. But he asked her anyway.

"Luffy?"

Vera seemed to think about that for a few seconds. Then, she took a breath, and answered him. This time, she made more of an effort to help the sharpshooter understand, and her answer wasn't what Usopp had been expecting. It wasn't the last thing he would have expected, either though. It was just… surprising.

**...**

Chopper stared at Sanji with wide eyes. "Are you okay? That was a pretty big sneeze."

"Yohohoho!" Brook chortled. "Perhaps someone is talking about Sanji-san, somewhere over the rainbow~!"

"Goddess?" the cook exclaimed, not paying any heed to his captain _or_ to the ship's musician. He leaned over the table, eyes immediately transforming into pumping pink hearts. "A _beautiful_ goddess?"

Mars glared disapprovingly at the lovestruck pirate.

Robin seized on the name. "The Gale Dancer?" she smiled tightly. "So otherworldly to be considered a goddess?"

Mars glanced suspiciously at the tense archeologist.

Hideki, however, either didn't notice or chose to ignore him. "Very beautiful," he replied, with an echoing note of awe in his voice. "Voice like an angel's choir, long dark hair… and eyes like her divine mother, the Lady Sequoia. The festival you see," Hideki gestured to the madness around them, "is the grieving and the celebration of the life of Lady Shizuka, the death of her mother, and the first seedlings of the Wishing Flowers – the great centerpiece of our island's culture."

Luffy gaped. "Ohhhh! That's what you called those wildflowers I was picking!"

"Yes. Normally you'd be in huge trouble for picking them, too. They have… _special_ properties. One is that they smell like something different to everyone. Depending what they like. Or what they're thinking about."

The large man picked up his goblet and drank deeply from it as the Strawhats digested this information.

Robin, however, was intrigued. _That explains our different interpretations of the flower's scent, between me and Captain-san. _

"What are the others?" she asked politely.

"You don't need to know unless you're attending the festival." Mars interrupted, again proving herself as a world-class douchebag. "And the noise already attracts a large number of pirates from the surrounding seas, so needless to say, we get our fair share of the action," the armored woman continued crossly. "Although we do not '_side_' with any World Government authority, it is the duty of the Gale Dancer's Guard to protect our goddess from any possible threats. We don't need bored pirates roaming about and causing chaos here."

Hideki gulped down the last of his wine and placed the cup back on the table. But he did not let go of it. The man traced his finger around the rim – seemingly aimlessly – his pale, sharp eyes pinning each Strawhat pirate in turn.

When he reached Luffy, for some reason, the straw-hatted boy stiffened.

The temperature seemed to drop ten degrees as Hideki spoke. "We're not Marines," he said frankly. "You're allowed to attend the festivities if you want to. Normal procedure – which Marsie-chan gave you a special close up look – is finding the pirate captain and questioning him. Forcibly, if we have to. They're peaceful, they're on their way. If they're not…"

A flicker of bloodshed gleamed in his eyes. The pirates unconsciously braced themselves, fingers twitching at their weapons as three long seconds ticked by.

Then, Hideki smiled tightly.

"Let's not go into that. Eh?"

The strange man's battle aura – so strong a moment ago – completely vanished, leaving a warm, cordial feeling in the air. The Strawhats relaxed. "Funny thing," he continued amiably. "Won't say how, so don't ask. But we've known you ten would be coming for days. I'd personally like to extend an invitation to you to join our Lady's Festival. You could learn our history…"

Although still wary, Robin couldn't stop herself from looking interested.

"Lots of food. Good music."

"Oh!" Brook exclaimed. "I'm a bit of a musician myself!"

"Lots of games."

Chopper's eyes lit up. "Really?!"

"Some of the best gambling tables on the Grand Line."

Nami grinned wickedly. "Oh, we'll _see_."

"We've imported some of the best alcohol on the Grand Line," Mars put in. "Also, Lady Shizuka's dancing is something you will only witness once in a lifetime. She has such skill, so far beyond her years."

Sanji noodled wildly around the table. "I want to see Shizuka-chwaaaaan~!"

"I was not speaking to _you_, fool," Mars hissed. "I would personally see to it your lecherous eyes never have the pleasure."

As Brook consoled their lifeless cook, a quiet smile spread across Hideki's face. "Seems the Strawhats are coming to our festival. Isn't that –"

Suddenly, the man fell silent.

The temperature in the room seemed to drop ten degrees. For some reason, Strawhat Luffy had _not_ relaxed with the rest of his crew… and was glaring at him and Mars with a death stare that would intimidate the fiercest of villains. Hideki closed his mouth; a cold shiver ran up his back, despite the warm day.

Obsidian eyes flicked into corners, as if searching for hidden killers. "A festival about a weird flower?"

Hideki couldn't help but wonder where this was coming from. "No. I explained it."

"Games?" Luffy asked. "Like contests?"

"Yes," the man answered. "All kinds."

"Deadly contests?"

Mars crossed her arms. "There are no deadly contests at our festival, Strawhat, not unless you are senseless enough to drown yourself while bobbing for apples," the woman replied sarcastically. She had always concealed her emotions far better than her captain. "Why?"

Luffy scowled at her. She scowled right back, although her stomach squirmed with anxious juices. "A weird person in charge?" he demanded. "Does she have a flower, too?!"

When no one spoke, the Strawhat captain brought his fist down on the table.

_**BAM!**_

"ANSWER ME!"

A thrumming wave of energy tore at Mars's consciousness; she jumped back, hands scrabbling for her weapons. "_Yes_! She probably does! It _is_ her birthday, you know, she deserves a chance at ambitions too! The flowers –!" The woman hastily drew a long-handled war hammer, sweat now pouring down her back. "No! I'm not telling you anything! Now back _off_, bastard!"

"Is it on her shoulder?!"

Everyone stared at him. Luffy's eyes were wide and feverish, and he was panting – echoes of a living nightmare long past etched in every line of his willowy body. No one knew what it was, though.

After all, not even his own crew would remember it.

Mars narrowed her eyes at the Strawhat, starting to wonder if he wasn't just rash, but genuinely insane. "What. In the world. Are you talking about."

"_Is it_," Luffy hissed, "…on her _shoulder_?!"

Nami thrust back her chair. "What do you think you're _doing_, Luffy?!" she demanded, marching around the table. She gripped the rubber man's ear and twisted it violently, eliciting a pained yelp from her empty-headed captain as she glanced apologetically at their stunned hosts. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into him!" she said. "He usually loves parties!"

Mars did not lower her spiked iron hammer. "He could have fooled me… and that, Cat Burglar-san, is not something I believe he's _sane_ enough to do."

Brook flew between Nami and that deadly-looking weapon, his own rapier drawn. "Please, Mars-san, you may insult pirates all you like. But you may not hurt our crew."

Chopper rose, transforming to Heavy Point. He loudly cracked his knuckles. "And you will _not_ insult our captain."

Nami's eyes widened as her nakama began to pass her, converging on Mars. "Wait, you idiots! Stop! What's wrong with you guys?!"

Robin stood, drawing breath in preparation to calm her enraged crewmates.

But Kaiser Hideki beat her to the punch.

"_ENOUGH_."

The ground itself shook with the force of that one massive, booming command. Even Luffy went still, all eyes on Hideki pulled his dark, threatening build out of his chair… that now seemed so undersized compared to the aura of a born commander churning the atmosphere around his person. His back was to them.

Then he took a calming breath, and turned with a stare like sliced glass. "Deiter Marsela_. _Strawhat Pirates. Please. _ Contain yourselves."_

Robin watched, privately awed – as Hideki strode straight into the middle of the altercation. He stopped in front of Nami, bent at the waist, and stared a certain rubber man straight in the eye.

"Strawhat Luffy."

"Was it on her–?!" Luffy began.

But Hideki did not allow him to repeat his question; instead, the taller man continued as if he hadn't said a word. "I don't understand why you're acting like this. Sure it's something you've had happen to you in the past. Buthere, now, I don't care what it was. Continue to act like this, and you'll be a threat."

He straightened abruptly, clasping his hands behind his back and surveying each Strawhat once more – very closely, as if looking for something.

Apparently, he didn't find it. Hideki sighed.

"Do your shopping," he finally said, the disappointment in his voice very plain. "Stock up. Go back to your ship. Come to the festival if you wish. But I won't blame you if you don't."

He bowed to them all. "Sorry. Again. Please excuse us."

The Strawhats could have been statues, too surprised to move when Mars took her cue from her captain. She bowed, as well, then turned, matching Hideki step for step as he walked swiftly down the street. They began to exchange violent whispers; Robin started, rushing to sprout an ear on one of their armored blue backs before she lost sight of them.

The archeologist closed her eyes. "_Oreja Fleur_." She was barely able to catch the last snippet of their conversation before everything dissolved into the incoherent babble of the festival crowds.

"… Didn't see anything," Hideki growled. "Not a spark. On _any_ of them."

"Right now, I don't think it's a priority, sir! The Strawhats are dangerous!"

"'Course they are. Wouldn't have gotten this far if they weren't."

Marsela hesitated. Then: "Captain," she said. Robin could just detect the slightest tremor of uncertainty in her voice. "Why are you giving them permission to leave? Lady Shizuka's prophecy… if they go, what happens then?"

"They won't go. They'll be back. With all ten."

"How can you be sure?"

Hideki reached back.

Robin suddenly shivered at the sensation of a man's rough, callused fingertips barely grazing the rim of her ear. She gasped quietly.

The regal bird of prey smirked, but not necessarily at his commander.

"How can I not be?" he replied.

And then they were gone.

As soon as she lost sight of them, Robin clapped a protective hand over her ear. He had known she had been listening the whole time. He'd let her listen. This Kaiser Hideki – he was a worthy opponent; in different ways than Crocodile, or CP9, or Caesar Clown. Those men lay traps the Strawhats had no choice but to fall into and fight their way out of. As a man, Hideki was obviously a force to be reckoned with. But as a teasing idea, an open-ended question… it left Robin feeling a blend of sensations she hadn't felt in a long, long time; if ever. Fear, intrigue, excitement.

Maybe even a little arousal.

"Robin?"

The older woman turned to Nami's curious brown eyes. "What's wrong?" the navigator asked.

"AND YOU!" Furious, Nami brained Luffy so hard his head smashed into the street. Cracks spiderwebbed across the worn stone tiles. "What's wrong with you?!" she demanded, grabbing the front of his cardigan and shaking him like a rag doll. "Disrespecting our hosts like that! I want to see those gambling tables! Who knows what kind of treasure is going to be there?!"

Sanji suddenly appeared behind them, just as irate. "I want to see the goddess's dance, you shitty rubber bastard!"

"I wanted to play the gaaaames…!" Chopper whined.

"What I really can't believe is that he said 'food' and 'fun,' and you just suddenly go berserk?! You love that stuff! _Why_?"

Luffy was silent for a long while, eyes shadowed by his hat.

Then he shook his head. "Nothing," said he.

A strange note of emotion lingered in the silence that followed – ambivalence uncharacteristic of Luffy, filled with frustration, despair, resignation, and a childish confusion. Even Robin couldn't dissect his expression; despite all his naivety, Captain-san was a hard man to read. Searching her brain for an event that would make him react like this, the archeologist found nothing. Nothing related to… _flowers_. Or deadly contests.

So, she placed it in a corner of her brain – making sure she would remember this event – and returned to the task at hand.

"Everyone?"

Heads turned towards Robin. "I have something to tell you…"

**.oOo.**

Vera leaned over Usopp's shoulder. "'Whatcha drawing?'" she asked, the English rolling naturally off her tongue, like a honey balm.

He showed her. "A flower."

"'Oooh,' cool!" She smiled, the returned to her own sketch; a simple silhouette profile, with an extremely long nose and a tiny Sogeking mask out to the side. She looked to be about three-quarters done. Usopp was just adding the final touches on his drawing… although he wasn't sure why he drew this strange – but pretty – blue-black blossom.

He smirked a bit to himself. _Just came to me, I guess. I _am_ a genius like that._

"'Done!'"

Usopp glanced back at the unfamiliar English word. Beside him, Vera examined her drawing at arm's length. "'Mmm, not bad,'" she murmured.

The sharpshooter scrambled to get a look at it. "Oooo, Sogeking!" he exclaimed. He grinned at her sidelong. "Not bad!"

Vera feigned embarrassment. "'Oh, please, _stop_."

"Oh, but it is the greatest work of art I've ever _seeen_~!" Usopp sang. He danced around the room; playing along, pretending to take pictures as Vera struck a series of overdramatic poses. Finally, she laughed and pointed at Usopp.

"_You _are Sogeking," said she.

"The sharpshooter went sprawling. "EEEEEH?!" he shrieked, eyes bugging at the otherworlder girl. "How'd you know that?!"

Vera pantomimed _shoot_ _me_. "Duh. 'Not hard.'"

Usopp blinked, then sighed and rubbed his head. "You'd think I'd stop being surrised by now." He offered her his paper: "Trade?"

* * *

Vera's eyes brightened. "You bet!"

She exchanged drawings with the long-nosed sniper, smiling happily down at her gift; she skipped over a few of Zoro's weights and held it up to the window. Sunlight filtered through the paper – lighting up the picture, bringing out the deepest, most vibrant colors that made it truly come alive.

Fangirl sighed. _So pretty…_

Even Vange had to agree. _The boy would have talent, _she admitted, smacking at her coffee-colored ringlets. _That is, if that wasn't just a projection from your mind._

A tick pulsed in Fangirl's temple. _YOU JUST HAVE TO RUIN EVERY TENDER MOMENT, DON'T YOU?!_

_ Only because you turn into an emotional sap every chance you get!_

_ You buzzkiller!_

_ Buzz is our _problem_ right now!_

_ That does it! Bring it, y-you… medical student!_

_ Bring it on, otaku! _

Fangirl flew at Inner Vange, furiously tackling her host's voice of common sense. Vera moaned and lowered Usopp's drawing-slash-crack induced projection. _That's it, _she thought, as two figments of her imagination initiated a chibi version of Monday Night RAW Supershow inside her cranium. _I'm officially schizophrenic._

Suddenly, in the corner of her eye, she noticed movement in the trees.

"Hm?" Curious, Vera leaned her head out the window, squinting intently up at the high limestone bluff. An odd cluster of people had trickled out of the trees. Several of the figures were laden with barrels, crates, and bulging sacks, picking a careful path down the loose, treacherous slope.

"They're back!" Vera cried. Going as fast as she could, the girl tucked Usopp's picture into her shorts, raced over to the trapdoor, threw it open, and rattled down the steps.

"Hontou ka?" Usopp demanded.

She pounded back up the steps, popped her had back through the trapdoor, and grinned excitedly at him. "Hontou ka!"

Usopp did a joyous fist pump, "Yosha!" and followed her, slamming the trapdoor behind them as they quickly descended the staircase that spiraled all the way down the main mast, through its hidden door, through a maze of hallways, into the galley, and out onto the lawn deck just as the returning Strawhats hauled themselves over the rail.

Vera blindsided Robin with a tackling side hug. "Robin-kaasan!" she chirped happily.

The archeologist was stunned at first, but then smiled and rubbed her head affectionately. Vera turned her face upward, butting the hand with her nose – like she always did with her real mom.

Then she hugged Nami around the neck. "Nami-neechan! Okaerinasai!" _Welcome back!_

Nami muttered angrily and slapped at the slightly taller brunette. Giggling, Vera spun to avoid it; used to the same response from Vange. "Soooo?" she said, drawing out the quizzical syllable. "How'd it go? Run into Smoker or Tashigi-chan? Did I miss an epic _showdown_?! Oh, my life sucks."

Now it was Nami's turn to look quizzical. "Kaigun? Iie…" her eyes widened, "naze matsu no ka?!"

_The navy? No… wait, why?!_

Vera covered her mouth. "Crap, spoiler alert!"

* * *

Nami stared at the mortified-looking Vera for a second. Finally, she sighed and looked away; her cinnamon eyes ran over the mountains of supplies. "All right," she mused, going through her mental checklist. "We have everything."

Usopp clapped her on the back. "So, nothing went wrong then?! In that case, wait till you hear what Vera did to _Zoro_ –!"

"Oh, Zoro! Luffy will want his input on this. ZORO!"

The swordsman poked his grouchy mug around the corner. "What?" At the sight of him – or more accurately, his headwear – Nami paused. Usopp snorted. Zoro glared at them both, looking a little defensive of his protective gear. "_What_?" he repeated.

"Zoro…" the navigator began. "Is that a salad bowl on your head?"

He snatched it off. "NO. What's going on?"

**.oOo.**

About half an hour later, the supplies sat safely in the cargo hold, inventory had been taken, and the story had been told, sparing no details. Now, the crew had congregated in the galley. It was almost funny; it was the crew's second such meeting in not even three days. The only difference now was that Vera was present – playing pattycake with Luffy on the floor – and there was even _more_ unbelievable information to digest.

"_WHAT_?!"

That, of course, was Usopp's exclamation. The sniper's jaw hit the tablecloth, his eyes round as tea saucers as he stared at his nakama.

Franky haphazardly wiped the oil from his face, his brows almost disappearing over his forehead. "Ow! I guess that was a pretty good reason from taking me away from my project."

Usopp slapped him upside the head. "NO ONE CARES RIGHT NOW! What the hell are we gonna _do_?!"

Zoro, leaning against the wall, crossed his arms; the swordsman leveled an intense gaze at Robin. "So," he began, "you're telling us that this island is having a huge party for their native 'goddess,' who has some way to see the future. There are some shifty, but strong people in charge, who stabbed the sea witch… and then took you out to _lunch_ when they found out who Luffy was. Then Luffy freaked out all of a sudden and insulted them, but for who knows what reason they know about the chijo and need us to be at the festival. So our invitation still stands, and _you_ guys want to go. And some damn magical _flower_ is somehow involved in all this?"

"Yes."

Zoro rubbed his forehead, growling in frustration. "You've _got_ to be kidding me."

Chopper grinned sheepishly. "Now that I hear it like that, it _does_ sound pretty crazy."

The swordsman exhaled sharply. He aimed a glance at his captain, who was merrily playing hand-games with the chijo; he didn't like their proximity, but he let it go this time. His brain hurt too much already. "Why'd Luffy freak out?"

"He won't tell us," Sanji replied, running a hand through his golden blonde hair. He didn't look too happy with the captain's closeness to Vera either – for entirely different reasons – but let it go for the exact same reason as the marimo. His head hurt, too. "I tried threatening him, kicking him, even offering him meat! But he just kept saying I wouldn't _believe_ him! Stubborn asshole."

"I'd refuse too, if it was your cooking."

"_What_ was that, shitty marimo?!"

"You heard me."

Sanji stood up. "_You_–!"

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Nami shrieked, her fists raising merciless lumps on both of their heads. "Will you two take this seriously?!"

"W-W-What she said!"

The navigator whirled on the trembling sharpshooter. "Stay off my side!"

"Please don't hit me…"

She did anyway. Usopp joined the swordsman and the cook on the floor. Finished with beating up her idiot crewmates, Nami huffed and sat back down. "Geez."

Robin glanced at the other woman disapprovingly. "Navigator-san, I do realize violence is an outlet for you, but hitting the others isn't going to solve anything." She rubbed her fingertips together; although it was an uncharacteristic motion for the archeologist, her brain was still experiencing the hyperawareness brought on by the boot mints. "Will we attend the festivities or not?"

"Yes!" Sanji chirped.

"_NO_!" Usopp cried, head popping up.

"Yes," Zoro nodded, sitting cross-legged.

Sanji glared at Zoro, fire in his eyes. "Don't copy me, shitty marimo!"

The sharpshooter gaped at the swordsman and the cook. "_What_?!" he exclaimed. "You two are actually _agreeing_ on something?!"

Zoro grimaced as if he had just drunk a pint of lemon juice. "As much as it pains me to say it…"

"HEY!"

"I think it's best we go," the swordsman told his nakama, decisiveness like iron in his voice. "We'll never know if we don't take a risk here.

"Robin." The archeologist glanced up from her fingers at the sound of her name. "You said you have a suspicion that this 'Shizuka' woman could be from the same world as the chijo?"

Robin nodded. "The way they phrased it, it's certainly a possibility, Swordsman-san."

"Of _course_!" Nami gasped, her eyes alight. "If we go to the party and ask her, she could tell us loads of stuff about the Otherworld! She might even know how to send Vera-chan home! That settles it. We _have_ to go!"

"B-But –!" Usopp stammered. "She's their freakin' _goddess_! It's not like you could just waltz up to her and ask…" He assumed a very Nami-like expression, "'Hi, Shizuka-kami-chan, I'm Cat Burglar Nami-san, nice to meet you! Tell me about where you came from!' She'll have bodyguards _everywhere_!"

"During her _dance_, she'll have bodyguards everywhere," Nami pointed out. "I'm sure I can find her before then. You know I've cashed in on some pretty heavily guarded treasures, Usopp! I can find one woman."

"But… oh, Luffy!"

Usopp turned to their captain, his last resort. "You got freaked out because of this festival, right? You wouldn't let your nakama go into something that might get them hurt, right?!"

Luffy hesitated.

"That's the last thing I'd want," he replied.

Usopp sighed in relief. He turned back to the rest of the crew: "See, see?" he cried, a trembling grin on his lips. "Luffy says we can't go! Captain's orders!"

"But Zoro and Nami are right," Luffy continued.

"Captain…!" Usopp sobbed.

Much to the sharpshooter's dismay, Luffy stood up and kept talking. "If we leave, how can we call ourselves pirates?" he demanded of his crew. The rubber man grinned excitedly. "Plus, it's a party! It should be fun!"

Zoro's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Luffy's smile was slightly forced.

But he was the only one that noticed. The rest of the Strawhats let out crows of excitement, babbling on about the festival, games, gambling, and tactics for avoiding the Gale Dancer's guards as Usopp went to sulk in the corner. Vera glanced wide-eyed around her, disoriented by the sudden uproar.

"Yoshaaa!" Luffy crowed, throwing his hands up in the air. "We're going to a festival! So who's taking Vera?"

An extremely awkward silence fell.

"I have to go sharpen my swords." Zoro practically sprinted out the door.

Franky stood up. "Aaand… I have to finish my project before we leave tonight!" he said quickly, bowing out. "It'll be a _super_ addition to the party!"

Usopp, Nami, Chopper, Brook, Robin, and Sanji followed suit, trailing feeble excuses on their way out the door. Luffy blinked, confused when he found himself with an empty room. "Wow." The rubber man scratched his head. "Weird how they suddenly got all busy."

He grinned back at Vera. "Guess I'm taking you!"

* * *

Vera popped her lips. "Sooo… what's happening?"

* * *

**.oOo.**

Meanwhile, in the bowels of the Navy warship anchored on the shores of the New World's Kibo Hana Island, a G5 Marine pounded down the hallway – driven by the weight of urgent news. Reaching his superior's office, he threw open the door.

"Vice Admiral Smoker! Captain-chan!"

Three people turned to look at him. The first one was a man built like an ox, with slicked back silver hair, sharp black eyes, a hard, weather-worn face, and a long, sickle-shaped scar stretching all the way across his left eye. A jutte tipped with seastone was slung across his broad back. Smoking two cigars at once, he was a familiar, if intimidating, sight in the G5 branch. The second person was a voluptuous woman with an open, kind face, eyes like a clear midnight sky behind a pair of coke-bottle glasses, and long hair of the darkest blue – neatly tied at the back of her head. She was much loved by her underlings, and despite her innocent appearance, knew how to use the sword at her hip. The third man, however, was an odd one out. He was ridiculously tall, easily seven feet when standing, with willowy arms and legs so long they seemed to take up the entire office space. Luckily, he didn't seem to be carrying any weapons. He wore yellow-tinted sunglasses and a matching pinstriped suit under the coat of a Marine Admiral; with tasseled gold shoulderpads and the word "Justice" written on the back. All three of them wore some form of Navy dress, labeling them all as high-ranking Marines. Which they were.

The Marine gasped, hastily saluting to the tallest man. "A-And Admiral Kizaru!" he stammered. "W-When did you get here, sir?!"

"Ooooh," Kizaru drawled, considering that for a moment. "Five minutes ago, maybeeee."

Smoker shot a glare at his intruding subordinate. "Kizaru-san is here to help us clear out the Gale Dancer, after G4's catastrophic failure here last month. What information have you collected from the island?"

"Ah, yes, well, uh…"

"_Report_, Marine!"

The man flinched. It all just spilled out. "The Strawhat Pirates are here!" he blurted. "I saw them eating with the Gale Dancer's guardians! I came to report to you immediately, but when I left, they seemed to be getting along pretty –!"

He choked himself off at the look in Smoker's eyes. "Ulp!"

Tashigi stood in alarm. "Vice Admiral," she anxiously addressed her superior. "You don't think Kibo Hana Island could be Strawhat's territory?"

Kizaru's lips quirked upwards. "Oooh, seems things are getting interesting hereee."

The skin around Smoker's scar twitched. One could practically see the cogs turning in his skull as he weighed the options. The odds that Strawhat Luffy had managed to conquer this _particular_ island in less than a month were small; but then again, odds had never meant much when the Strawhat Pirates were concerned. The citizens of Kibo Hana had thrown their chips in with the Gale Dancer long ago. Kaiser Hideki and Deiter Marsela, too. They weren't pirates – but they were powerful, and they were enemies of the World Government. As a Marine, it was Smoker's job to bring enemies of the World Government to justice.

The result was evident.

Smoker gripped his jutte. "That's good," he said to Tashigi. "This way we can kill two birds with one stone."

"Smoker-san!"

"Smoker…" Kizaru heaved himself up from his chair, towering well over everyone in the room. "You're not getting distracted from the main objective, are yooou?"

The vice admiral glanced up at him. "No, Kizaru-san. The plan hasn't changed at all. G5 has just taken on a little more work. When the time comes, I'll take care of the Strawhats and the Gale Dancer's soldiers. You find that so-called goddess and capture her, dead or alive."

"Hmm."

Smoker turned to the Marine in the doorway. "You! Tell the men we go ashore at sunset! And arm yourselves! It's going to be rough."

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Yes, I purposefully left you in the dark with what Vera said about Luffy. =) Don't worry, you'll find out later.**

**AND YES SMILE-EVILY, Smoker is here! And Kizaru, too! Gosh, the Strawhats might be getting more than they bargained for. They're on an unfamiliar island, with a huge, chaotic omatsuri to get lost in, tough questions, tougher answers, and a Gale Dancer to find in all this mess! Not to mention a hyped-up Vera, a paranoid Luffy, a trolling Hideki, a pissed-off Mars, and an impending G5 Marine attack! **

**Coming next chapter! Review, favorite, follow… but most of all, ****anticipate****. XD**


	11. Omatsuri Part I

**Okay. So, originally, I was going to have one ridiculously long chapter called "Omatsuri," but I decided… with all that happens this night on Kibo Hana, and there are at least 3 chapters I could call the same thing, so I've separated "Omatsuri" into segments. Part one, two, three, four, etc. There are seven parts to the Wishing Flower Arc!**

**Here is the first! It's long, sweet, funny, a little sexy, and slightly creepy. Me hopes you like it. Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 11:**

**Omatsuri**

"_**Part I – Lest Ye Remember"**_

"This is so sugoi!"

"Hai, hai. Urusai."

Vera tried to hold still, hands braced against the wall as Nami helped her put on her new yukata. She had practically had a fanspasm when the navigator brought it in, and Robin said it was for _her_. She'd always wanted to wear a yukata! And this one was gorgeous, made of deep, plush violet silk with flowing sleeves and a gleaming bronze obi (the sash around her waist that Nami was currently having trouble with), embroidered with five-petaled – strangely familiar-looking – flowers, stitched in delicate golden thread. Reaching up, Vera trailed her fingers over her freshly washed, curled, and braided hair, heaped and bound up in a pretty knot at the base of her neck. Burnished copper hair pins held it in place, wrought in the shape of those same flowers. With slits in the skirt all the way up to her hips, glittering violet eye shadow, a touch of bronzer, and pink lip gloss borrowed from Nami, Vera felt like a beautiful Japanese warrior-princess. All she was missing was a katana.

_THIS! _

_IS! _Fangirl was having a field day, dressed in a pink miniskirt yukata and flying in spastic figure-eights above Vera's head. _AWESOME!_

Vange rolled her eyes. A bored yet somehow extremely excited Vera envisioned her wearing a long, clinging white yukata with navy blue embroidery; with her stylish glasses and a few rogue curls springing free of her bun, the mental projection of her neechan was gorgeous and businesslike as a sexy librarian. _Childish games, _she announced, crossing her legs atop Vera's shoulder. _The only thing interesting about it is the explanation!_

Vera cleared her throat, dismissing her whimsical and sensible consciences.

"Soooo," she said to Nami, trying to keep her voice casual, "what you're saying is that this island is having a big birthday party and everyone's invited, but the birthday girl's parents are psycho about this one species of flower for some reason, so we're avoiding them."

Nami tied off the knot with a little more force than necessary. "Hai."

Vera pursed her lips. "Alrighty. Sounds fun!"

She turned, grinning at the orange-haired woman. Nami frowned at her. Vera blinked, glanced down, and meandered over to Robin. She needed a hug.

The navigator looked like a model out of Playboy, as usual. The yukata itself was the blue-green color of a tropical sea, artfully fading to white in places, with a white obi and embroidered in copper thread. Long sleeves emphasized her curves. Glittering green eye shadow and metallic copper lip gloss. She had straightened her long orange hair, swept her bangs to one side, and pinned it with a lily flower ornament. Flaunting long, toned, curvaceous legs under the yukata's tiny skirt, in _that_ outfit, Nami's body would make the very straightest of women do a double-take – her bouncing I-cups pushed up and together to create cleavage Vera was pretty sure was illegal even in the One Piece world. The other Strawhats might be used to it, but it was pretty awkward for her to be faced with Nami like that.

Vera wrapped her arms around her Mommy #2.

"I've been scarred for life," she informed her, voice muffled by the older woman's shoulder.

She felt Robin chuckle and pat her head, carefully as not to mess up her lush chocolate locks. The archeologist looked pretty amazing too, just in a different way. Her icy blue yukata was very traditional, embroidered with silver cranes, its pastel colors shockingly offset by a bright scarlet obi… like a cardinal's breast against winter snows. Its skirt was long – so long it had a small train – and her sleeves nearly brushed the floor. Red and fuchsia glowed inside her sleeves, seeming to ripple and pulse with organic energy when she moved. Robin's shining black hair was curled and fixed in a delicate golden headpiece. The headpiece was really what made it; inlaid with rubies and glass, trailing long pieces of red silk that swirled like drops of blood dispersing in water. She was like something out of a fantasy manga.

Vera straightened. "Dang, with us three walking the streets," she smirked, throwing an arm around each of woman and squeezing happily. "Honestly… I really pity the guys at _this_ birthday party!"

* * *

Robin only understood every other word, but what she did hear made her laugh. And although she didn't understand a word the sky stalker said, for some reason, Nami couldn't help but feel flattered. Something about her tone of voice; nonetheless, she fluffed her hair, smiling. "I'll take that as a compliment," she decided aloud.

"Ah, Rosethorne-san," the archeologist chuckled. "You are quite a firecracker, aren't you?"

Vera nodded cheerily. "Yup!"

Nami checked her appearance in the mirror one last time. "Well," she said, dabbing at her lip gloss. "Let's not keep the boys waiting. Sooner we go, the sooner we can find the Gale Dancer and find a way to send you back to your 'Other World.'"

* * *

Vera didn't even bother trying to decipher Nami's rolling Japanese. "Pineapples," she replied.

* * *

"That's right!" Nami smiled at the otherworlder girl's reflection. "I guess you're finally starting to understand me after all."

Robin chuckled. Suddenly…

_BOOM BOOM BOOM._

It sounded like someone had trying to knock down the door with a battering ram. Vera squeaked. Nami jumped so hard her lip gloss veered off onto one cheek. Seeing that streak of metallic copper marring her face – something snapped.

"WHAT DO YOU _WANT_?!" she roared.

Zoro knocked again. "Come on!" he yelled through the door. "You've been in there long enough!"

"If you'd have waited one SECOND longer, we'd probably be _out_ there, dammit!" he heard the sea witch shrieking back at him. "You messed up my lip gloss!"

Zoro felt like slicing someone.

"Just hurry up! The _sun's_ about to set!"

Not even waiting for the answer, the swordsman just turned away and stalked across the deck. The sky was a rolling kaleidoscope of multicolored fire as the sun kissed the horizon. Shafts of harsh tangerine light stretched black shadows like elastic, slicing off the glittering ruby waves in blinding scimitars of radiance. Zoro leaned against the railing next to him – squinting into the sunset, arms crossed in frustration.

"Tch! Women take _forever_ to get ready!" he muttered. Nonetheless, Zoro _was_ wearing a yukata, by the insistence of his nakama…

And by insistence, that meant they'd hidden all of his regular clothes.

The marimo scratched at the getup, feeling uncomfortable with this unfamiliar clothing. Still, although Zoro would die before he admitted it, the yukata itself was nice. It suited him. It was clearly secondhand and it wasn't silk, but it was far finer than the crude linen and wool he was used to wearing; only a few frayed strings here or there. It was almost entirely black, with a green-and-white pattern of ramen noodles and fish cakes, opening in the front to expose Zoro's tanned chest and abdominals. Over his haramaki, the swordsman had slipped his three katana into a yellow sash. His fingers occasionally strayed to the knot, twitching nervously. His three earrings dangled from their usual places in his left ear, catching the sunlight and sparkling gold in the rapidly approaching twilight. The guys had even stolen his boots – now he wore sandals.

Zoro scowled at Luffy. "Seriously, why'd you have to take away my clothes?!"

Strangely, Luffy didn't answer Zoro.

Well, it wasn't like he had cause to be upset about his outfit. He wore a mid-length male yukata of plain red silk. The richly colored cloth was unstitched and unadorned, but somehow spun in a way that captured the waning ruby sunbeams and preserved them, glowing a luscious shade of crimson even in the faintest light. Falling past his hips, voluminous sleeves cut just short of his wrists, the front of the garment left his torso – muscles etched with powerful angles and marred by the scar of Marineford – open to the elements. He wore his usual worn straw sandals and famous straw hat … somehow forlorn as it drifted against his back in the salty sea breeze.

_Probably ignoring me, the stupid rubber moron! _

If faced with a _normal_ person, Zoro would think that. But it was remotely possible for this wide-open rubber kid to convincingly ignore someone.

The swordsman waited a beat. "Hey!"

Luffy still didn't react. The tide was coming in. A bigger wave slapped off the Sunny's hull, spraying a film of warm seawater on his face – Zoro watched Luffy inhale deeply. So he wasn't catatonic. Zoro felt the Sunny hum in concern.

Worry lines etched themselves in the swordsman's forehead. _What the hell?_

"_Luffy_!"

* * *

_**Soundtrack: "Sweet Dreams" by Emily Browning.  
PRESS PLAY**_

* * *

The image of the setting sun burned coal blue behind Luffy's eyes. Spangles of stinging white pain twinged around his retina.

…_How long have I been standing here?_

_**"Give me back my nakama!"**_

Luffy flinched.

_**"Unforgivable…"**_

_NO!_ Luffy gripped his head violently

The festival. The games. They'd been fun at first. He had thought it was all harmless fun… but by the time he had seen the trap, it was too late. He hadn't known about the creep with the flower. He hadn't known about the Lily Carnation. That they would take away his nakama one.

_By._

_** One.**_

Luffy screwed his eyes shut. It had been over two years. But even now, the prospect of reliving that incredible pain… that crippling _loneliness_! His heart creaked. His bowels went cold, shriveling into a stiff, blue, lifeless husk, crunching within him like the fingers of a frozen corpse. The disease – the memory – was spreading. Luffy felt his body curling in on himself, trying to protect itself from the agony. But now the floodgates had been opened.

The memory came rushing back.

_**Day was dark as the plague. Luffy had stood on a mountain of black rocks, stale air skittering around his shoulders, plucking and stinging like it intended to snatch his very skin away. The great behemoth – its opening of an unspeakable radius – looming over him like a titanic, black tapeworm. A circle of swarming color shone on the clouds. An evil organic. **_

_**But there was a second figure here. He was a broad man, with a sloping moustache and beard, a powerful bow in his hand… and a hairstyle strangely akin to a palm tree. Baron Omatsuri.**_

_**A flower sprouted from his shoulder, petals yellow and speckled pink. In its center was a happy yellow face. The Lily Carnation.**_

_**It was smiling at Luffy, even as it absorbed his family.**_

"_**You'll never let me hurt them," Baron Omatsuri mocked, through his pursed lips. He snorted, and began to laugh.**_

"_**Unforgivable…" Luffy whispered, his insides scoured raw by fury. Red, stripped, thirsting for blood. Now, only a thin wall kept his body in check, from being overrun by the insane, maniac energy that boiled and festered in his chest. But that laughter, it was too much for that wall to repel.**_

_** Suddenly, the energy ignited and exploded in one maniac scream.**_

_** "I WON'T FORGIVE YOU!" Luffy screamed. "Gomu Gomu no –!"**_

_** An arrow pierced through his palm, pinning it against the rocks behind him. His hand exploded in pain. But Luffy didn't feel it. He was seeing red, pulling violently at his impaled arm in a vain attempt to get it loose.**_

_** "One arrow."**_

_** "Dammit!"**_

_** "As you struggle, another of your nakama is disappearing."**_

_** Luffy whipped his head around. He could see it. The curves of Robin's body, slowly dissolving into the swimming white vomit that brimmed in the mouth of that great black worm. "S-STOP IT!" he screamed.**_

_** But she was gone.**_

_** "ROBIN!"**_

_** "Who will be next?" Omatsuri said casually.**_

_** "You bastard!" Luffy snarled. He drew back his second fist; he would connect this time. He HAD to. "Gomu Gomu no –!"**_

_** Another arrow flew. A white bolt of agony raced up his arm, blood spurting around the arrow's shaft as it pinned his hand just next to his other one. On the same rock.**_

_** "Two arrows." Omatsuri smirked.**_

_** "SANJI!"**_

_** "Only three left."**_

_** "STOP IT! Gomu Gomu no –!" His foot was pierced like a bug on a card. Luffy struggled madly, lost his balance, and fell to the ground. Three arrows. **_

_** "The man with the phallic nose just died."**_

_** "USOPP!"**_

_** "What will you do?" Omatsuri snickered, watching the Strawhat captain struggle to stand. "Will you fight me with just your left leg?"**_

_** "Gomu Gomu no…"**_

_** The twang of a bow string. His last remaining limb was taken out of action. "The other woman has just disappeared."**_

_** "N-Nami…" he sobbed.**_

_** "The very last of your nakama is starting to fade away."**_

_** Luffy glanced up in horror, as he saw what the man said was true. Pale white liquid was beginning to creep up around that last body, tendrils licking away at his first mate in a smell like sour acid. His face was frozen in the way he'd been taken. Mouth agape in shock and pain. Limbs spread wide… as the Lily Carnation finally swallowed him. He had been the first one to join his crew. **_

_**Now, Zoro was the last to go.**_

_** "ZORO!"**_

* * *

**Cut off soundtrack**

* * *

"HEY!" Zoro yelled into his captain's ear.

Luffy cried out and punched without thinking. _Wham_.

The rubber man cracked open one eye, only to see his first mate sprawled out on the deck before him, holding his head and twitching in pain. "Eh? Zoro?" He lowered his fist. "Why are you taking a nap there?"

"I am going to cut you in_ half _one day…!"

"Huh? Why?"

Zoro moaned and sat up; a bit more force and Luffy would have broken his nose. _Still_, he thought, glancing up at his captain as he quickly tried to collect his expression. _Even Luffy doesn't space out like that unless something is really wrong._

"Captain."

The raven turned. "What?"

"What's wrong with you?"

Luffy blinked at him. From the look on his face, he hadn't been expecting his first mate to be so blunt. "N-Nothing…!" he stammered.

Zoro stood up, leveling a serious gaze at him. "Look, I know something's wrong. You've always been a lousy liar," said the swordsman as he crossed the distance between them, stopping barely a foot from Luffy's eyes. "You're not fooling any of us. If you can't trust the ero-cook – well, that's a first even for _you_. But you can tell me, right?"

Immediately, Luffy's face crumpled. "I can't!"

"You _can't_?" he repeated incredulously. "What do you mean you _can't_? Of course you can!"

"No, I can't! Just _drop_ it, Zoro! It's not something that –!"

Luffy stopped abruptly, as if to prevent himself from saying something he'd regret. He pulled his hat over his eyes. "Maybe later," the straw-hatted boy whispered. "But not right now. Okay?"

Zoro frowned.

But he sighed, and braced his hip against the rail. "All right." If the past was any indication, there was no sense in grilling Luffy for information he did not want to disclose. He would tell him – and the rest of their nakama – when he was ready.

Franky stepped up behind them. "OW! I'm ready for the supeeeer party!"

Zoro opened his eye and choked. No yukata in the world could properly fit Franky's ridiculously disproportionate arms. So instead, he wore a huge, star-spangled robe with the sleeves torn off, his blue hair styled in a spiky Mohawk… and a sumo thong. But Zoro was used to all that. What made the marimo swordsman stare was the hulking metal giant that stood beside their enthusiastic shipwright.

"Franky?" Zoro asked, "what the hell is that?"

"That, Zoro-bro, is the product of this afternoon's blood, sweat, and tears! I worked hours on this miracle of modern musical mechanics! This is…!"

The cyborg struck a dramatic pose. "_**IPOD M.O.D.!**_"

"Sorry I asked." Zoro glared at the hulking machine. Despite its size – standing well over nine feet tall – iPod Mod looked very high-tech, and appeared to be wearing a sleek suit of gleaming black armor, with huge gorilla hands and long, silver-tipped joints. Massive subwoofers had been built into the thing's shoulders and back, and the Strawhat Jolly Roger painted onto its chest and ankles, of all places. Its face was flat, much to Zoro's uneasiness, cut horizontally across the tiny silver ball of its head; smooth, unmarked, and completely mirror-black. No eyes, no mouth, nothing but screen.

"That's SO AWESOME!" Luffy gasped, his eyes shining like Christmas lights when he saw the robot.

Usopp and Chopper appeared out of nowhere with the same expression. "Robot?"

The long-nosed sharpshooter and little reindeer doctor wore yukatas of similar cut, of medium length with open sleeves hemmed just at the forearm. Usopp's had a yellow-orange and black checker pattern, bringing out his deep tan and curly black hair; he wore dark, cushioned sandals made for both style and function. Chopper was dressed in peachy pink, spattered with a white sakura-blossom pattern. Both boys had foregone their hats for this evening, leaving their heads bare of ornament.

"_Robot_!" they chorused, joining Luffy in climbing all over Franky's new invention, examining every inch of iPod Mod's massive, futuristic black body. "_ROBOT! So cool!_"

"If it's so cool, why name it something so stupid?" Zoro muttered in the background of his idiot crewmates' awe.

Franky brandished his big red fist at the marimo. "It's not stupid, moron!" he bellowed in protest, then went fishing inside his thong for a long, painfully awkward moment for Zoro. He pulled out none other than Vera's mystery device and waved it in the swordsman's face. "I found the name of this thing deep in its memory algorithm, then got Robin to sound it out for me. It's called an iPod! Isn't that _super_ cool?!"

Zoro wasn't sure if he should be relieved or disgusted. "If you think that sort of thing is cool, then, I guess…"

"I know, right?!" The shipwright pulled it back towards his chest, gazing at the little machine in fascination. "You wouldn't believe how tiny this thing's circuits were! It was almost impossible to reverse-engineer. Yup, it's definitely from another world!" He looked back at his gargantuan mech with the pride of a new father. "'M.O.D.' stands for 'Mobile Operating Device!'" he informed Zoro. "It walks, it runs, it dances…

"It even docks."

Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper raised their heads. "_Docking_?!" they clamored, jumping around Franky's feet like enthusiastic children. "_Lemme see! Lemme see!_"

Franky raised the iPod above his head. "Behold!"

He paused dramatically.

And slammed it down into a slot atop iPod Mod's head.

"_TRANSFORM_!"

The slip of black technology stuck there for a moment, quivering. The three boys went still, enthralled… then, the device made a chiming noise, and Mod's screenface lit up with colored images; two men in bizarre clothing, shoes lettered with the English words 'Party Rock' as they danced among scantily clad girls and other guys as outlandish as they. A hard beat pulsed out of Mod's subwoofers.

Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper pressed their faces to the screen. "WHOOOOOAH!"

Then iPod Mod began to dance, throwing its weight of over two thousand pounds into a frightening move called – unbeknownst to them – "krumping."

"WHOOOOOOOOAH!" Luffy exclaimed.

"Yup, Franky definitely made that." Usopp commented.

The sharpshooter cringed as Luffy tried to imitate the robot's outlandish movement. "Captain, you look like you're possessed."

"This is so _FUN_!"

* * *

"Is that 'Party Rock Anthem' I hear?!"

Vera scampered over to the giant robot and joined in the wild shaking. She had no idea how to do the shuffle, despite looking up a new tutorial on Youtube practically every day in ninth grade. Her friends always said she was way too white to be trying things like krumping, but this was Monkey D Luffy. Breakdancing. No way was she going to let _this_ chance slip by!

"Every day I'm shufflin'! Bow dow dow dow dow dee dee dow ~!"

* * *

Nami and Robin emerged from the girl's quarters. "All right!" the navigator called, glancing down at the ten crimson cylinders in her hands, counting them for the umpteenth time. "Before we go, I have…"

Luffy, Vera, and some giant robot all starting shaking their butts like no tomorrow.

Robin felt an urge to cover her eyes. "Oh my goodness."

"Pelvic thrust!" Luffy cried.

Nami, Zoro, and Usopp lunged at the exact same time – punching and kicking the rubber man into the dirt before he could try it. Vera made a sound of protest, like that was something she wanted to see. Then she paused, eyeing Zoro's butt.

After a moment of deliberation, a wicked grin twisted her face.

_Slap!_

Zoro actually squealed. He spun, hands clasped protectively over his buttocks. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" he roared at the chijo.

* * *

"Now that's some pirate booty I would mind seeing. Oh, wait!" Vera tapped her lips, pretending to think.

She smirked evilly at him. "I already _have_."

* * *

"I AM GOING TO CUT YOU INTO LITTLE _PIECES_!"

Zoro went for his katana, then heard another slapping noise. _What?_

He looked to see Vera sitting on the deck. "Sanji-_kuuuuuuun_!" she cried, rubbing her butt and looking extremely violated. "Zoro _pervert_!"

_Oh shit._

Zoro barely had time to block the vicious kick to his face as Sanji came flying out of absolutely nowhere. He was almost surprised when his swords grated against iron-shod clogs; the ero-cook kicked off the swordsman's blade, the deep blue silk of his yukata fluttering in the shockwave. Contrasting with the pale yellow-gold of his hair, Sanji's summer kimono was long, silky – rippling with a luscious wave pattern speckled in green, black, and gold. Unlike Zoro's and Luffy's, the front of his garment was closed, emphasizing his long, pale neck and regal jawline. Now, the setting sun transformed his milky skin into the steaming red hide of a demon lord as he continued to bombard Zoro with deadly kicks.

"It was _her_!" the marimo yelled at the blue-clad, snarling blonde, trying to evade said furious onslaught. "I'm innocent! I didn't _do_ anything!"

"Yeah, I've heard _that_ one before!" Sanji growled, fire in his eyes.

Vera sprung up. "Yay!" she cheered, obviously perfectly all right. "Sanji my knight!"

The cook wiggled in happiness. "She called me her knight ~!"

He yelped in surprise, barely managing to evade Zoro's slicing counterattack. They resumed fighting. Luffy got back up and began dancing again. Usopp shook his head at Vera, trying to explain to her that using Sanji as a shield was clever and all, but… actually, that it was a pretty good idea. They started a two-person wave, shouting "Banzai!" as Franky picked up on the Party Rock Shuffle, Brook began laughing like a crazy Halloween decoration, and Chopper fretted, shouting that someone was going to get hurt. Robin chuckled.

Nami snapped.

"_**SHUUUUUT! UUUUUP!**_"

Silence fell instantly.

The navigator huffed, smoothing back her hair. "Ahem. Right then."

Nam held out the thin red cylinder; each was about a foot long with a depression in the bottom, where a thin wire hoop lay flat, its other end attached to the cylinder itself. "Before we go, I have to give you these. Everybody take one."

Nami continued as her nakama obeyed. "These are flare shooters," she told them. "Odds are at a party this big, we're going to be pretty extremely far from each other. If anything goes wrong, shoot your flare into the sky and try to stay where you are. If you see a flare, it means one of us is in trouble. But be careful what you use it for! Those things only have one shot."

Chopper glanced at an extra cylinder tucked inside her obi. "How come _you_ get two?"

Nami pulled it out, showing it to the rest of them. This flare was painted with black and yellow hazard stripes and was at least twice as fat as the red ones. A skull and crossbones adorned its side. "This one shoots a white flame," she explained. "I'm keeping it, because there's only one. If you see it – and yes, you'll _know_ when you see it, Usopp – that means it's time to go. I don't care if you're about to win a billion Berries at the slots!"

And that was saying something.

Nami scowled, tucking it back into her yukata sash. "Drop what you're doing and _get to that location_," she emphasized with a slap on each word. "I don't know about you guys… but I don't trust these people."

"It couldn't have anything to do with Mars-san pricking you with a knife, would it, Nami-san?" Brook asked politely. Where he had managed to unearth a long, black, Soul King-themed yukata, no one would ever know. "Ah, and may I see your panties?"

She punched him into the deck. "**NO**."

She propped her hands on her hips, glancing back at the others. "Any other questions?" Their only reply was mad shaking of heads – including Vera's. Violence needed to translation. "No? Well then, Captain?"

Nami smiled, turning to Luffy. "Do you have anything to say?"

The surprised-looking rubber man blinked, then slowly nodded. Nami quickly stepped down from the platform and turned as Luffy took her place; she was expecting something like "Let's go!" or "Have fun!" or maybe even "Meat!"

But what came out of his mouth was entirely different.

"Everyone, just… be careful."

Luffy gazed at each one of them, a strange look in his eye. "Okay?" he pleaded. "I know some of you won't pull that flare even if you're dying. But please, just do it. I don't want to lose any of you."

_Again_, his eyes said.

* * *

Vera raised an eyebrow, along with the rest of the crew. _Okay, _she thought, thoroughly thrown for a loop. _I know Japanese is not my best language, but that did _not_ sound like Luffy. It's usually "Ikuzo!" or "Niku!" I swear that sounded like a _warning_._

_Wait. _Vera reviewed the facts her brain presented to her.

_Okay, psycho people in charge. Check. _

_Weird flower. Check. _

_Impromptu summer festival. Check._

_Holy crap! _she realized with a start._ He's remembering Movie 6! _

In retrospect, maybe she shouldn't have spoken up – but by the time that thought crossed her mind, the Japanese words were already out.

"Daijobu!" she reassured Luffy. "Danshaku Omatsuri isn't here. You can relax."

* * *

Luffy felt like his body had turned to stone.

_That name. She knows it._

His face felt funny. His tongue was thick and heavy as lead. Oblivious to her captain's distress, Nami aimed a curious glance at Vera. "Baron Omatsuri?" she repeated. "Who's that?"

Vera's lips turned up ever so slightly.

She took in a breath to answer, and suddenly Luffy could feel his limbs again. He sprung like a wildcat, throwing all one hundred and forty one pounds of his weight into the otherworlder – and maybe an extra ton or two of desperate locomotion – bringing her down so fast, she didn't even have time to use that breath to scream. He didn't let her do it now, either. Luffy slapped his hand over her mouth, stifling her cry.

Good news, Vera had enough sense to start breathing through her mouth. Once she'd recovered from being tackled, Luffy felt her smile under his lips. She tugged gently at his arm. She thought it was a joke. Luffy tightened his fingers and gave her a look that informed her that this was most definitely _not_ a joke.

Vera went still under him. He thought he saw a flicker of fear in her eyes.

"You shitty rubber bastard!"

Sanji's voice came intruding through their bubble. The angry cook started to march towards them – to him, after all, it looked like Luffy had just launched himself at Vera and straddled her into an extremely vulnerable position. Which admittedly, he had. "What do you think you're –!"

Luffy let Vera go and abruptly turned, a cheerful grin on his face. "I'm going ahead!" he told his crew. "And Vera wants to come with me!"

He smiled at Vera. "Right?"

The wide-eyed brunette hastily nodded.

Luffy helped her up. "See?" he said. "We'll meet up with you guys later. Come on, Vera!"

Sanji's eyes followed them carefully. Luffy didn't touch her again, but the otherworlder looked like the Strawhat captain had her at gunpoint as they crossed the deck, crawled over the banister, and began to make their way up the incline towards the darkening cover of the rainbow forest.

Behind him, Nami crossed her arms. "Geez, what was that all about?"

Chopper looked nervous. "I don't know," he said, glancing around at the others. "But don't you think Luffy was acting a little weird?"

"Vera-chan, too! If Luffy pounced on her like that under normal circumstances…"

"Let's not get into that, Usopp."

"_Thank _you," the sharpshooter sighed, all too happy to comply. "But I'm just saying –!"

Sanji watched as Luffy and Vera disappeared into the trees. After a few seconds of deliberation, he announced: "I'm going ahead too!"

"_Hah_?!"

Sanji leapt over the banister. "See you there!" he called back.

And again, the Strawhats were seven, mouths agape as they watched their cook follow Luffy and Vera into the trees… sprinting up the crumbly slope with the dexterity of a mountain goat, and fading into the trees with the grace of a ninja. Zoro's eyes narrowed.

Franky popped Vera's iPod out of his dancing robot.

"What's gotten into him?" the cyborg wondered aloud, slipping the little machine back into his only-slightly-bigger thong.

**…**

As soon as the Sunny was out of sight, Luffy grabbed Vera's wrist and broke into a run. The otherworlder squeaked and stumbled, struggling to match his pace as the rubber man hauled her after him. Luffy squinted in the fading red twilight; with the trees overhead, it was very hard to tell where he was putting his feet. But he knew the city was at the top of the hill. So he only had to go one way – up.

The incline became steeper, but he didn't slow down. After a few minutes, it became apparent that Vera was having trouble. Her breath began to come fast and hard. "Luffy, wait!" she gasped.

He didn't wait. He couldn't stop.

"Please!"

* * *

Vera pulled on her wrist. "Onegai!"

Luffy was _hurting_ her. His fingers were like a vice around her wrist, getting tighter and tighter with every step. Her lungs burned, her legs quavered under her as they tore through the woods. She was _not_ in shape – she had never legitimately exercised a day in her life. She only had the figure she did because of her metabolism, for crying out loud!

"Stoppu!"

Suddenly, her legs gave out. She sprawled to the dirt, a stone cutting into her exposed hip. Luffy skidded to a stop and yanked at her arm.

Vera yanked back. "No!" she cried, scared beyond that one word.

He hesitated, but finally let go. She scrambled backwards along the forest floor – trying her best to put as much distance between them as possible. Finally, her back struck a tree. She didn't dare look away from Luffy to find a way around it; she glanced down at her wrist – even in the dim crimson light under the leaves, Vera could see the bruises of his fingerprints forming on her skin. She rubbed it. A sob escaped her throat.

Girls had fears. This one had never liked the dark, and had an irrational fear of frogs and loud thunder. But pain scared Vera, especially when it was at the hands of someone so obviously stronger than her. Tears spilled over in her eyes, burning like fire down her cheeks as she glanced wide-eyed back at Luffy.

* * *

"Nooo!" Luffy wailed in frustration.

The rubber man began to pace, sandaled feet wearing a circle in the dirt as he anxiously scrubbed his head. It looked like he was trying to rub in shampoo. "This wasn't how it was supposed to come out!" Luffy muttered to himself, so preoccupied in his own thoughts that he didn't even look at Vera. "It wasn't supposed to come out at _all_! She wasn't even there! She's not even one of my nakama! How could she know that!"

He whirled on the otherworlder. "How could you _know_ that –?!"

Luffy pulled back at the look on Vera's face. She had pressed her body as far away from him as possible, pulling her legs into a protective ball – as if she could blend in with the trunk of the squat, pale birch she was curled against. Her hip was bleeding. She held her wrist against her chest, as if it hurt.

Luffy blinked. He didn't think he'd grabbed her _that_ hard. "Are you okay?" he asked, half-stretching a hand out towards her.

She shrank back as if stung.

Guilt struck Luffy like a ten-ton wrecking ball. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…" He took few steps towards her. "Here, let me help –"

"No!"

Luffy recoiled at her scream. He stayed that way for a long moment.

The Strawhat captain sunk to his haunches – slowly, as not to frighten her – and looked her in the eyes as he would a scared animal. "I'm sorry," he apologized again. He spread his palms, trying to show he meant her no harm. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to hurt you."

Vera relaxed a tiny bit, hearing the sincerity in his voice.

She rubbed at her eyes. Luffy nodded eagerly, shuffling a few steps closer. "Yosh, yosh… that's it. I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

He had just repeated himself. Still, it seemed to do the trick. Vera relaxed more, easing her tensed-up limbs into a sitting position. Luffy took that as a signal to approach, waddling awkwardly on his haunches to cross the last couple feet between them; finally, he squatted before her.

Luffy smiled at her.

"Good."

Vera sniffed and smiled back.

* * *

She held out her wrist to him. "Kiss it and make it better?"

Luffy blinked at her. "Nanda?"

"Natsu te," she giggled, setting her palm on the spongy moss. _Just kidding._

The rubber man blew a raspberry to the side, then tipped back on his heels.

He landed hard in her lap. "Whoof!" Vera was surprised by that, to say the least. "Ouch…" she cringed.

Suddenly, the warm weight in her lap began to shift. The seventeen-year old girl felt blood pool in her cheeks. All of a sudden, she felt incredibly aware of how dim the lighting was. Felt in razor-sharp quality every tan, hard muscle that pressed against her body. Luffy's proximity. That mouthwatering aroma he gave off… like Christmas roast. A little bit of saliva pooled in her mouth.

Suddenly, she felt an unexpectedly large and _soft_ appendage rub up on her thighs.

Vera jumped like she'd been electrocuted. _HOLY –!_

* * *

Luffy shifted his weight, stretching out his legs to either side of her. It just felt like such an effort to get back up after all that. "I'll just stay here," he informed Vera.

The otherworlder nodded slightly, her face practically glowing in the dark. That settled, the rubber man sighed and glanced up at the trees, feeling at a bit of a stalemate. _How am I supposed to ask her how she knows about the Lily Carnation bastard without scaring her again?_ Luffy wondered, scratching his head. _Sheesh, I hate dealing with scaredy-cats._

_Oh, I'll just say it!_

"Vera."

* * *

She jumped slightly. "Sorry, I was uh, distracted by something else," she said, only half lying. "Nani?"

* * *

Luffy squirmed a bit closer. "How'd you know?" he asked, eyes intent on her face. She seemed intent on _avoiding_ his eyes, though, for some reason. "Not even the others know about that island. What almost happened to them… so, how do you?"

* * *

"Shima?" Vera furrowed her brow at Luffy. "Omatsuri Shima?"

He nodded so fast she thought he was going to get whiplash. "Okay, okay! Settle down."

Luffy stopped nodding, looking sheepish.

Vera wiggled her toes in an attempt to keep her circulation moving. "I don't get it," she said, gazing at him a little oddly. "I mean, yeah, I know it was a traumatic experience for you guys. But I assumed you at least, I dunno… _hinted_ that something happened! I mean, you're _Luffy_. How the heck did you keep a _secret_ – let alone a secret like _that_ – for over two years?"

Luffy stared at her.

Vera groaned. She shrugged at him: "Riyu?" She pointed at him: "Anata wa?" She crossed her arms in a negative X: "Shinai?" She splayed her wrist away from her mouth, miming words. "Tell nakama?"

_Why? You? Not? Tell crewmates?_

Luffy's face darkened. The rubber man got to his feet and moved away – invoking a curious sound from Vera. He sat on a fallen log; his eyes were hidden, covered by Boshi. "Watashi no nakama wa… nani mo oboete," he whispered. "Dakara, sorera o oshiete."

* * *

"My nakama… didn't remember anything," Luffy confessed, feeling immeasurably guilty; he always did, when he remembered Omatsuri Island. And how he'd hidden it from his crew. "So, I didn't tell them."

Vera stood, brushing off her butt. "Why?"

The Strawhat captain jumped to his feet. He was before her in an instant and slammed his palms into the tree – trapping Vera between them. Her eyes widened. "What if they didn't believe me?" Luffy whispered. "What if they _did_ believe me? They'd find out I've been keeping it from them _all_ _this_ _time_. What if they didn't trust me anymore?"

He clenched his fists. "What if... what if–?"

Vera popped Boshi with a finger.

His eyes went round as saucers, shocked into silence.

* * *

"Baaaaaaaaka!" Vera drawled, pointedly poking the scar over Luffy's heart. "You're even dumber than I thought. And that's saying something! Usopp, Zoro, Nami, Sanji, Robin, Chopper, Franky, Brook? They're all _your_ nakama, aren't they? 'Course they'll understand! If anata wa shinai tell your _own_ nakama, watashi wa tell them!"

Luffy's eyes widened. "Nanda?! Chigau, chigau! Watashi wa –!"

Vera propped her hands on her hips, sighing in exasperation. "All right… I'm sorry, that was a litle biatchy of me," she admitted. "Gomen."

Luffy stared at her.

Suddenly, Vera snapped her fingers. "Yosh, watashi wa – um, make you a deal. Watashi wa. Shinai. Tell Mugiwara no Ichimi. If! Anata wa. Tell them." She made a wide swinging motion: "_After_ the party. Hai?"

"Ah… hai."

"Geez!" she muttered. "_Men_. Always overcomplicating things."

Marching past Luffy, Vera entered the forest, brushing aside a branch as she began to pick her way through the dense underbrush. A stick poked her foot. Leaves snagged her hair. _Didn't we start out on a path?_ she thought, grimacing.

Just as she came face to face with a smooth granite wall.

Vera scowled at it.

"Luffy?" she asked the boy, hearing him come up behind her. "Where have you taken me?"

Luffy seemed stumped. "Eto…"

The brunette leaned her face against the wall. Facewall. A facepalm just wasn't enough in this situation.

After a moment, she exhaled sharply and glanced up. The wall was made of a smooth white stone, extending at least twenty feet in the air and as far as she could in either direction. Vera couldn't see any cracks or chips in the strong-looking granite. Well tended, then. And probably well guarded in sections.

Fangirl facewalled, too. _One Piece has failed us. Let's try Naruto._

Vera assumed a jutsu position. "Transport!"

Nothing happened. Not that she'd really been expecting anything. Naruto was painfully lame anyway. The girl sighed and was about to return her face to the wall, when she heard an all-too familiar voice saying:

"Gomu-Gomu no… _ROCKETA_!"

Vera snapped her head skyward just in time to catch Luffy fling himself high into the air and land haphazardly on the top of the wall, flailing a bit before he found his balance. He threw up his hands in triumph. "Ya ta!" he crowed.

Vera facepalmed, this time at herself. "_Duh_! He's made of _rubber_!" she admonished herself. "I'm so slow!"

Luffy stretched his hands down. Vera made sure she had a good grip, then held on tight as she was yanked through space. Fangirl was on the edge of bawling her eyes out. _Oh, Oda-sensei, I'm sorry I ever doubted you!_

_Oh shut up, will you? _Vange groaned.

Vera tried to ignore them, trying to make sure she wouldn't touch the wall and scrape all the flesh off her face. But finally, she crested it. Her feet tapped the flat granite slab, and Vera had her first personal look at a New World island.

"Woah…" she breathed.

As far as she could see, everything was warmth. And light. And _color_. Lamps blazed, food roasted, candles flickered, and colors dark and light shifted and skipped over each other in a beautiful, aesthetic dance. The air smelled of meat, wood smoke, sweets, and vanilla flowers. Warm amber shadows shifted and stretched like living beings. From her bird's eye view, Vera could see great bonfires burning in every courtyard, around which swarms of people were dancing – some had partners, some didn't, but every face was alight with joy and festivity. A lively melody wove its way through it all. A mad shiver of excitement coursed down her back, luring her to dance, drink, and be merry with all the rest.

Vera exhaled in awe. "Sugoi… WAH!"

Luffy suddenly swept Vera's feet out from under her, catching her neatly in his arms. He smiled at her – one of those grins bigger than a peeled banana that always meant trouble for whoever he was holding. "Ikuzo!" he chirped.

Vera stared at him. Then at the twenty-foot drop.

She shook her head. "Oh no. No no! NO NO NO NO NO –!"

He jumped.

Vera screamed so loud she felt like her hair was going to fall out. Luffy dropped like a stone, his arms steel cables around her waist and legs; nonetheless, the seventeen-year old wrapped her arms around him in a death-grip, burying her face in his chest – shrieking like a banshee into his red silk yukata.

_Tmp_.

Luffy's feet touched the ground, gently as a cat's. It was over.

Normally, Vera wasn't all that of a violent person. But she smacked his _face_. "Don't you EVER do that to me AGAIN!" she half-squeaked, half-screamed as she pried her arms from around Luffy's neck.

The rubber man rubbed his cheek. "Wari, Vera."

He didn't sound very sorry at all. Vera glared crossly at him for a moment… then relented, sighing. _He's a mess, _she thought, shaking her head._ But heck, wild? Crazy? He's still an otaku's dream._

She snorted at the irony of her own statement. _ Ha! Dream… Yeah, in more ways than one for me!_

"Oooo, niku no ebi!"

Vera blinked. Luffy stood in front of a grilled shrimp stand, staring pathetically at the pink shellfish that swelled – bursting like flowers of fluffy, hot meat in bubbles of soy sauce and lemon juice – drool pouring in buckets from his mouth. Vera wondered why he didn't just buy one, but now that she thought about it, they'd probably missed Nami's rationing out of the Berries. But as she watched, the cook glanced up and noticed him with a start. Slowly, he turned around to scan the wall of "Wanted" posters behind him. Luffy's was among them… in all its 300 million Berri glory.

The guy analyzed the pathetic puppy-dog face in front of him. Apparently, he decided to take pity on Luffy. He impaled a dozen shrimp on a stick, waved it in the air to cool it a bit, and held it out to the hungry rubber man.

Luffy's eyes lit up. "Domoooo!" he enthusiastically thanked the cook, and snatched it up. The rubber boy strutted back over to Vera, looking very pleased with himself.

The brunette snickered. _Well, he is the lucky one._

Suddenly, as Luffy pranced to her side, his nose twitched. Vera saw his eyebrows shoot up. His nostrils flared, sniffing the air intently. Slowly – as if he wasn't entirely aware of what he himself was doing – his messy raven head turned towards her. The Strawhat captain nosed closer. Sniffing her hair.

Vera blanched.

_Oh, CRAP! _she realized. _ I took a shower! I'm wearing that chocolate exfoliant! He smells it! He's gonna bite me again!_ She braced herself for his bite. _Crap crap shimataaaa…!_

Then – to her eternal surprise – Luffy pulled one of the shrimp off of his skewer.

And handed it to her.

"Arigatou, Vera!" he whispered.

With that, Luffy nosed into her ear, whuffling her scent like a happy puppy. Vera blinked in surprise. He'd given her _meat_!

"_**Luffy?" **_

_**Back then in the crow's nest with Usopp, she had thought about it for a few seconds. Did she like Luffy? Maybe. **_

**Let's see, **_**the girl wondered for herself.**_** Do the pros outweigh the cons?**

"_**Well," Vera began. She was thinking aloud, but at the same time making motions with her hands to help a puzzled-looking Usopp understand her thought process. "It's possible. Pros: He's loyal, dependable, strong, protective – but then again, so are most of you Strawhats – adorably naïve, and he's still in his teens, so the age thing isn't as much a problem. Cons: He's got the least amount of PEP I've ever seen! Aside from some of the boys back in middle school, but you get my point. And again, he's practically asexual, he's **_**dumb**_**, he's impulsive, he's a hothead, and honestly? It's a really good thing he's cute. So, do I like Luffy?"**_

"_**Maybe.**_

"_**Wait, nooo…" She paused, thinking about it, then decided. "No. No, I don't. I would just want him for his body and his protectiveness… and I wouldn't feel good about liking someone for just that." She shrugged at the sharpshooter. "Honestly, criteria speaking, I'd prefer **_**you**_** over any of them!"**_

_**Usopp's jaw dropped. **_

_**She had gotten a good laugh out of his facial expression, making him stutter and turn an embarrassing shade of crimson, before he distracted her with the idea of drawing pictures.**_

Vera popped the shrimp between her smiling lips.

She halfheartedly swatted Luffy away from her ear. "Oh stop that, that tickles," she giggled, and danced away, leading that sexy rubber cutie pie boy deeper into the festival, to discover even more sights, sounds, tastes, and smells. Her opinion of him still hadn't changed… but why not enjoy him while it lasted?

Heck, maybe there would be more venders like that shrimp guy. "Ikuzo!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the rest of the Strawhat Pirates made their way to the apex of Kibo Hana Island on the proper path, sorting coins in their hands. Nami tucked her portion of Berries into her sash. "You each have a thousand Berries to last you the night," she informed them. "Don't waste it, or I'll kick your asses!"

Usopp folded up the bills in his hand. "Nami…" he began hesitantly.

"What?"

"A-Aren't you worried about Luffy or Vera-chan at all?"

"At the moment, I'm more concerned about Franky's fashion choices than anything!" Nami sniffed huffily. "Luffy and Sanji-kun can take care of themselves, and neither one of them would let Vera-chan get hurt."

The cyborg raised his sunglasses huffily. "What's wrong with the way I look?" he demanded, in all his sumo-thongéd, yukata-spangled glory, enough to scar an unsuspecting child for life.

"You look flipping ridiculous!" the navigator responded. "And that thing! Did you _have_ to bring that _thing_?!"

Franky glanced back at iPod MOD. The ten-foot, black-armored, faceless giant robot tromped along behind him, shaking the ground with each step. "He's not doing anything! What's the big deal?"

"'The big deal?'"

Nami snarled. "'_The big deal?!'_"

They began to argue. Usopp and Chopper sided with Franky, their obsession with the musical mech overwhelming any concept of cautionary incognito from their childish brains. Brook suddenly took offense out of the blue, demanding what the robot could play that he couldn't. Zoro felt the urge to knock his head repeatedly against a tree. Robin chuckled as she crested the hill, amused by her bickering nakama… then stopped abruptly.

She smiled at the sight of a familiar figure. "It seems we have a welcoming committee," the archeologist remarked.

"Huh?" The Strawhats turned to look.

Three members of the Gale Dancer's Guard stood just beyond the stone threshold, where the hill's dirt incline became the city's expertly crafted, granite streets, headed by none other than Kaiser Hideki himself. The large man wore the same cobalt armor with the same crest, royal blue cape, and golden shoulderpieces as last time… but the city itself had been transformed by the falling night. Even the Strawhats who had seen it before exhaled in awe.

Hideki smiled at the colorful bunch of pirates. "Hello. Nice to see you again."

The pirates sobered, quickly brought back down to earth as the guard captain ran his eyes over them.

"Seven again," he observed. "Do see a few new faces."

Usopp and Franky gulped as Hideki stared them down. Zoro met his severe gaze evenly.

He nodded at the new arrivals. Then his sharp eyes automatically flicked to Robin; apparently, she had been deemed the most intelligent and mature among the present Strawhats. "Strawhat? Black Leg?"

The archeologist chuckled warmly. "I'm afraid we lost them," she replied.

"Think I see a pattern forming here," Hideki remarked humorously, his sharp, clear eyes running over the newcomers again. He noticed the swords at Zoro's hip; his eyes flicked up. Black emerald met diamond for the briefest second… then he turned back to Robin. "And I guess if that pattern stays its course, you'll discover him sometime or another. Probably somewhere he's not supposed to be. But anyway."

Suddenly, his tone changed. "You intend to make trouble here?" he asked, as if rehearsing from a script.

"No, Kaiser-san."

"Your crewmates intend to make trouble here?"

"No, Kaiser-san."

"Your captain intend to make trouble here?"

"I don't believe so, Kaiser-san."

"Guess I can take your word for it." Visibly relaxing, he rewarded the pirates with a cordial smile. "In that case, you all are now our guests.

"Welcome to the Wishing Flower Festival."

With that, Hideki turned to the soldier on his right and nodded. The armored figure stepped forward, extending a stretch of light white gossamer – on the translucent cloth, there lay ten of the large, lovely, blue-black flowers. Their golden nectar almost seemed to glitter in the half-light, as if in anticipation of the night. Their fragrance filled the air; all the Strawhats inhaled deeply as they each smelled their own version of the blossom's divine perfume.

Hideki extended a hand towards the blossoms. "Take one. You'll need it."

"These," he told the pirates as they complied, "are the _Dicota Volunta_. The Wishing Flowers. They only grow on Kibo Hana Island, and they have many special properties. The first most of you already know. The second is that one night a year, these flowers gain the ability to embalm an ambition. And that night happens to be tonight –"

"_Embalm an ambition_?" Usopp repeated, staring skeptically. "What the heck is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Was getting. To that."

The sharpshooter suddenly became very busy sniffing his flower. The rest of the Strawhats rolled their eyes and returned their attention to Hideki.

"Where was I?"

He snapped his fingers. "Oh. Right. _Volunta_ is an annual flower. Each year at midnight tonight, the Wishing Flower completes the final transformation of its life cycle. When it does, you can make a wish on it, should you so choose. If you do, it will close. And from then on, it'll preserve itself. Remember your wish –"

"_Remember_? How can a _flower_–?"

Nami bonked him on the head. "Shut up, Usopp! I wanna hear this!" She turned back to a stunned-looking Hideki, eyes sparkling. "Don't mind him! Please continue!"

"Well now I forgot."

Everyone's jaws dropped. "_EHHHHHHH_?!"

Hideki laughed. "Kidding! Kidding!" he reassured them.

Robin chuckled; the captain aimed a quick smile at her before he continued. "It'll remember your wish. And as long as you keep it on your person, it'll help you achieve that ambition. And before you ask _how_." He glanced pointedly at Usopp, who had indeed been about to say something. "Don't really know. So don't ask."

"Why not?"

Hideki looked slowly around at Robin, who gazed back at him with a tiny, mysterious smile. A moment of silence passed between them.

Then, his lips curved up in a mirror image of hers.

"Never tried it. Didn't see the point," he replied.

Robin's smile vanished. There was so much more behind those two simple fragments than they implied; the way he had phrased it, if he had not given her that echo of her own expression, she would never have guessed. And again, this man had _allowed_ her to see it.

While these thoughts occupied the archeologist, Hideki bowed ever so slightly to the Strawhat crew. "I'll be going now," said he. "Haven't eaten dinner yet. Takoyaki calling my name, and all. Hope you enjoy the festivities."

Everyone, minus Zoro, hastened to bow back. "Thank you very much!"

Hideki straightened – aiming one last befuddled glance at the ten-foot robot with a screen for a face, then deciding not to comment – and turned his back. "Thanks for coming with me," Robin heard him say to his accompanying soldiers. He twiddled his fingers at them. "Back to your stations."

"Sir!" The pair saluted and seemed to disappear into thin air.

Hideki began to walk away.

It was then that Robin made a snap decision.

The long-haired woman straightened from her bow and gracefully, swiftly, darted after the broad-shouldered man. She caught up with him in an instant, matching his long stride.

She threaded her arm through his. "Do you mind if I come along?" she purred. "I'd like to ask you a few questions about your island's history."

Hideki raised his eyebrows at her.

Robin gave him a sly, persuasive, very knowing smile. _And your history._

The guard captain smiled, reading her expression perfectly. Still, something in his eyes told Robin he wasn't just going to come out and say it.

"You're going to have to ask all the right questions, Nico-san," he told her. "There's a lot to tell."

As Kaiser Hideki led her away into the depths of the Wishing Festival, Robin realized she was doing something utterly foolish. Like, _Luffy_ foolish; being escorted by a stranger – albeit an intriguing, attractive, shortspoken stranger – through unknown territory, where the noise and crowds were so chaotic that it would only take an amateur with a knife to gut her, kill her, and leave her for dead before she could even reach her flare.

Robin glanced at the excellent, proficient weaponry on the guard captain's belt. She looked at his hands. They were covered in tiny scars and thick calluses; the result of countless battles fought and won, most likely with hand-to-hand combat as well as forged weaponry. Those hands had killed. Perhaps even recently.

Oddly aroused, the former assassin felt a thrill run through her. She was going to enjoy this.

**…**

Nami watched them go.

Her eyebrows practically disappeared into her hairline. "Well, I have no idea what that's about," said the navigator, "but I'm sure Robin knows what she's doing."

Then she turned to her crewmates. "All right, guys! It's party time!"

The rest of the Strawhats responded with an ecstatic roar.

"Okay, okay, bring it down a notch!" When they were silent, Nami waved them closer and continued at a whisper – huddled so that a random passerby wouldn't hear her words. "You guys have your own places to go, games to play, whatever," she murmured. "I'm going to find our Miss Shizuka. Have fun, but don't go crazy! And keep an eye out for Luffy, Sanji, and Vera-chan too. Be subtle as you can though; we don't want the locals watching us any closer than they already are."

Nami touched the lump in her gleaming bronze obi. "Remember, we don't know what shifty things could be happening under the surface here. Like Luffy said – weird as he's acting – _use_ your flares! They could be the difference between life or death."

Her crewmates nodded.

Nami nodded back. Then, she straightened, lips stretching into a blinding smile. "That said," she announced, returning to normal volume.

She pumped her fist in the air. "Let's have some _fun_!"

"_YEAH_!"

The six Strawhats scattered, everyone headed in different directions, hearts and minds thrumming as they joined the great sea of bodies crowded the streets. The Wishing Flower Festival had officially begun.

**.oOo.**

"Franky, where are we going?"

Chopper jogged to keep up with Franky and Usopp, as well as keep out from under the crushing iron footfalls of iPod MOD; after one of its feet came a little too close to smashing him, the little doctor shrieked and transformed into Heavy Point, stretching his yukata into practically a miniskirt as he scrambled up beside his nakama. They were walking down one of the main streets of the festival. Blazing lanterns hung over their heads, and because of Mod, the crowds gave them a wide berth in the center of the road. "Seriously, guys!" he yelped. "Where are we going?"

Usopp shrugged. "Mmm, I dunno. I just tagged along." He glanced at Franky. "Where _are_ we going?"

"The audio booth."

"What?"

Franky raised his sunglasses, waggling his eyebrows at them. Oblivious to the incredulous stares they were getting.

"You hear that beat, guys?" he asked wickedly. Chopper and Usopp listened; indeed, there was a melody in the air. "That beat has to come from somewhere, right? This is a _party_! If the broadcasting station is somewhere around here, it's the perfect chance to test out iPod MOD! If the operator lets us check out his equipment. Oh, there it is!"

The street they'd been walking down had opened up into what was most likely the main shopping center. There were even more people here than before – eating, drinking, shrieking, laughing, playing – so many that the bubble of space surrounding Chopper, Usopp, and Franky disappeared in a matter of seconds despite their obvious incongruity. The noise of the mob washed over them like a physical thing, mashing them in the heat and sweat of that sea of bodies… but still it wasn't enough to drown out the music, pulsing out from a network of massive subwoofers strung between bulbous golden lanterns, on a network of steel wire above their heads. In the center of it all, an almost tiki-hut stood out like an island of salvation. Countless wires crisscrossed its thatch roof and extended up into the sound network. Under the open-air, thatched roof, guy about sixteen or seventeen was working the complicated-looking machinery that all those cords sprouted from. Franky, Chopper, and Usopp bounded up to the stall.

"Heeeey!" the blue-haired cyborg said. "Is this the audio booth for the festival?"

The teen glanced up at the strange foursome that stood before him. "The one and only! Whassup, my homies? My name is Broker, but you can just call me M… _Ceeeeeee_! You got a request?"

Chopper blinked. "'MC?'"

Franky blinked twice. "'_Broker_?'"

"_**Spill her guts, Mars!" the anonymous teen shouted. "Give us a show! It's been hours!"**_

_**Mars, holding Nami in a threatening grip, hadn't looked away. "This is not a show, Broker," she had said. "We can handle this. Go back to the festival."**_

Franky snarled and Chopper transformed. They cracked their knuckles in unison. Usopp made a questioning sound, head whipping as he looked between the two. "Yeah," replied the shipwright. "We got a _super_ request for _you_."

The boy gulped.

Chopper tossed him into the sea of bodies. "AAAH! _NOOooo_…"

Then the crowds converged on him, and "MC Broker" was no more.

The doctor smacked his palms together, like he'd just peeled a cockroach off somebody's shoe. "He'll live," said he.

Usopp gaped at the two of them. "What is _wrong_ with you two?!"

Chopper hastened to explain the details of that afternoon to the irate sharpshooter as Franky made his way behind the turntables. The shipwright picked up the abandoned headphones and clapped them around his ears.

"Check one, two, three, OW!"

**…**

_Franky?_

Zoro looked up disbelievingly from his drink. _What the hell is he doing?_

**…**

Nami paused in her interrogation of one of the venders. _No way. That's not…?!_

**…**

Franky adjusted the mike, so he could hear his voice echo nicely. "Hey, all you brothers and sisters out there! This is MC Franky! Our previous MC had to step out for a moment, so I'll be taking over! I think you'll like our fresh new selection! It's… out of this _world_!"

He hesitated. "Mmm, ah, just a minute."

Franky lowered the mike. He crouched, extending his tiny yellow hands along the sides of the turntables until he found the cord he wanted. He yanked it out, then thrust a hand inside his sumo thong. "Psst! Usopp, Chopper!"

"Hm?"

Franky tossed them Vera's iPod. Usopp caught it – then realized where it had just come from and yelped like he'd been electrocuted. "_W_-_W_-_What the heck is this for_, _Franky_?!"

"Quick, pick a song!" the cyborg whispered hotly. "Mod, come here!"

His creation lumbered over to the turntables. Usopp stared for a moment – Franky seemed to be talking to the robot – then tried to overcome his gag reflex and pick a song. It was a little tougher than he thought; he couldn't read any of the titles, and he didn't feel right exposing the masses to music he didn't even know the _name_ of! But, but…!

"All right, he's plugged in! Hurry it up, Usopp!"

"I'm hurrying, dammit! Ah – this one!" The sniper jabbed a song. Franky snatched the iPod out of his hands and slammed it into Mod's head. It quivered for a moment, then chimed.

Usopp swallowed nervously as a thrumming bass began to play. He still didn't know what the song was called. He had just seen a series of kanji and reflexively smacked it! Not the choppy runes of English, but they didn't quite have the same look as his language. He just hoped it wasn't anything too dirty. _I mean, who knows with Vera-chan!_

* * *

Vera stopped dead in her tracks.

"Hah?" Luffy realized she'd stopped and glanced back at her curiously. "Vera?" he called.

A shiver went up his spine at the look on her face – and although he had no idea why – it was because of the music. The soundtrack for this festival had changed. It wasn't English. It wasn't Japanese. It was Korean.

K-Pop.

It was "_Gangnam_ _Style_," by Psy.

* * *

_Goodness! _Brook's eye sockets widened, glancing away from the snake charmer who'd nearly lost his life for the change in music. _All right, I admit it! I couldn't play that._

* * *

"YEESSSSSSSSSS!" Vera screamed to the heavens, making Luffy - as well as most of the passerby - jump. "THIS NIGHT CANNOT _POSSIBLY_ GET ANY BETTER! Najeneun ttasaroun inganjeogin yeoja! Keopi hajanui yeoyureul aneun pumgeok innuen yeoja~!" She began to do the dance, right there in the middle of the street. People stared at her… but honestly, she did not give a crap. It was one of the only mainstream choreographed songs that the brunette could dance to without looking like a total white person.

Suddenly, when the song hit its dramatic pause, Luffy laughed.

And joined in.

Vera couldn't help it. She screamed like a crazed Fangirl and glomped him. "I take it back!" she crowed, shamelessly riding on Luffy's back as the Strawhat captain Gangnam-Styled all the way down the street. "NOW this night cannot POSSIBLY get any better!"

She was right.

It was going to get worse. Far. Worse.

**.**

* * *

**A/N: LUFFY'S SO KAWAII! KYAAAAA!  
****Okay, I'm better now. Never seen the Gangam Style MV on Youtube? You might want to. Epic beans. X3 **

**So MC Franky has reinvented the iPod dock! (Lol, docking! But then again, what else would he call it?) But the Marines are on their way, and ****Hideki**** sure isn't gonna be on the front lines... not _escorting_ Robin around town. So it's gotta be Mars. Whatcha think? She's powerful, yes. But we don't know much about the islanders, and you didn't think Hideki and she had bounties BEFORE, didja? **

**Wonder what else they could have to hide. =)**


	12. Omatsuri Part II

_**This chapter is dedicated to our SOCCP fan and new user **__**DCKiyoshi**__**! **_

_**Love you, man!**_

**EVERYBERDY! Pay close attention from here on out. Trivial as some things may seem (the Broker incident as evidence) you'll never know when something – or **_**someone**_** – might become a recurring theme in SOCCP! So as you might guess by the title…**

**This is where the serious crap starts to go down! Enjoy, my little fanfiction ducklings.**

* * *

**Chapter 12:**

**Omatsuri**

"_**Part II – Immediate Perils"**_

Across town, Robin stood in a crowded stone street. Her long, graceful arms were patiently crossed – the ruby rays of the sunset and the gleaming flames of the lanterns lit up gold on her face, casting sharp, dark shadows over her pensive expression. The fluttering red trains of her headpiece floated in the gentle breezes off the sea. A small line was etched between her slender black brows. A mask of thoughts yet unspoken.

_** "It'll remember your wish, and as long as you keep it on your person, it'll help you achieve that ambition. And before you ask how." He glanced pointedly at Usopp, who had indeed been about to say something. "I don't really know. So don't ask."**_

"_**Why not?" Robin had asked.**_

_**Hideki looked slowly around at her. There was a beat, then, his lips curved up in sly, secretive smile. "Never tried it. Didn't see the point."**_

The archeologist gazed intently at her escort.

Kaiser Hideki was again in a very unconventional position for a man of his size; crouched beside her, drooling slightly at sight of takoyaki cooking in a vender's fryer.

"Were you telling the truth back then?" she asked him.

"'Course," Hideki replied, extremely intent on the octopus balls as the silver-haired vender plucked a dozen off the fryer and dropped them in a basket. He accepted it with a grateful smile. "Takoyaki really was calling my name. Thanks, Jen. How much?"

"On the house as usual, Hideki-kun!"

"Take this anyway." The guard captain gave her a peck on the cheek. "So hungry. You saved my life."

The takoyaki seller blushed and flapped a hand at him, calling him a shameless dog. Robin couldn't help but smile. That woman would give her husband a hard time, boasting about the tall guard captain that had flirted with her.

"You seem very popular, Kaiser-san," she remarked.

"Old habits die hard, I guess," Hideki replied, munching on his dinner. "_Mmmm_. Thas goo'."

He offered her a piece. "Wan' one?"

Robin chuckled. "No thank you, you can have them all."

Hideki didn't hesitate to eat the proffered piece. "Suit yourself."

They stood there for a minute, leaning against the takoyaki seller's cart. The street was packed with people, but crowds seemed to slow miraculously before her escort. Hideki quickly consumed his takoyaki – neatly popping them in his large mouth one after the other like they might try to wriggle free and escape from him – even as he mumbled greetings and how-dos to the people around him. It wasn't just those his own age, either… grandfathers and grandmothers. Women, children. Even babies seemed to burble with happy recognition as he passed.

Robin found herself smiling, too, as she watched Hideki socialize with the people of Kibo Hana Island. "You're really their guardian angel, aren't you?"

Hideki snorted. "'Angel.' Right. Didn't figure you for a comedian, Nico-san." He swallowed the last takoyaki and patted his stomach, sighing contentedly. "I was a pretty terrible bastard until Lady Shizuka came along. Made me take responsibility for my actions."

"She must be an incredible woman."

"Incredible, yes," he replied. "But she's not exactly a woman yet. They," Hideki waved a hand at the swarming crowds, with their lives, their joys, their sorrows, "say she's a goddess. But she's got a lot of growing up to do. And I'd know. I hope to help her truly become one. Worthy of her title."

She ignored it, and smiled at Hideki.

"You love her, don't you?"

The guard captain pinned her with those clear, sharp eyes. His mouth wasn't smiling, but his eyes were; like he had a treasure she could covet, but never hope to have. Something without a name twinged inside Robin.

"So much," Hideki confirmed. "So much I'd betray her trust, if it meant keeping her safe."

The archeologist gazed deep into his eyes. She had a far better sense of direction than Swordsman-san, but she became truly lost in that multifaceted, diamondlike stare. "To become the lover and guardian of a goddess, from what you say you were…" Robin whispered, only half aware she was saying it aloud. "This island… and _you_. You must have such a fascinating story."

"Fascinating?" He chewed and swallowed. "Not at all. Couldn't imagine anything interesting about my past. Anything that's happy, anyway."

"Oh, I doubt that."

"But as for the island…" Hideki trailed off, eyes focusing on some point in the distance. Robin glanced at him curiously as he pulled off a gauntlet and checked his watch; over his shoulder, she read eight o'clock. "Yeah," he said aloud, refixing the piece of armor. "It's about that time."

"You'll tell me about the island?"

"I got a better idea." He offered her his arm. "Come on."

Robin smiled back. She was about to take it…

When a familiar voice came over the intercom: _"OW! Check one, two, three!"_

The archeologist stared up into open air. Was that… Franky?

"Hey, all you brothers and sisters out there!" continued the disembodied voice of their perverted cyborg. _"This is MC Franky! Our previous MC had to step out for a moment, so I'll be taking over! I think you'll like our fresh new selection! It's… out of this world!"_

There was a pause. _"Mmm, ah, just a minute."_

Robin heard a brief burst of static, then Franky's voice continue; still audible, but much quieter, like he had moved away from the microphone. _"Psst! Usopp, Chopper!"_

_"Hm?"_

Suddenly, the familiar shriek of their sharpshooter came over the intercom. "_W-W-What the heck is this for, Franky_?!"

_"Quick, pick a song! Mod, come here!"_

There was a series of muffled, metallic thumps that could only be the footfalls of Franky's mechanical giant. "_Just thrust it in there, Mod,"_ the cyborg whispered. _"That's right, just thrust the hips and it'll pop right out!"_

Robin felt a headache coming on._ Oh dear, don't tell me that's where he put the…_

_"All right, he's plugged in! Hurry it up, Usopp!"_

Oh dear.

Usopp's voice came again. _"I'm hurrying, dammit! Ah – this one!"_ There was the sound of a brief scuffle, then, a song came on.

Robin's first reaction was puzzlement. The tune was undeniably catchy, yes… and the lyrics had a rhythm like her language, which was very discombobulating when she found she couldn't understand a word of it. The music pulsed and vibrated in ways the songs of this world did not. Yes, this was something from Rosethorne-san. Still, it didn't sound like English at all.

Hideki furrowed his brow at the sky. "Is that one of your crewmates in our audio booth?"

Robin took a breath. _They promise not to cause trouble, and then they do this._

She gave Hideki a contrite look. "I'm very sorry," she apologized. "Like our captain, Franky is rather… spirited."

The taller man shrugged. "I know the type," said he, bobbing his bristled head to the music. "Music is catchy, though. Seems harmless enough. Won't matter where we're going, anyway."

He offered her his arm again. "Shall we?"

Robin took it quickly this time. "And where is that?" the archeologist asked his broad, caped back, finding that both her steps and Hideki's were in synch with the otherworlder music.

"Just ahead, here."

They walked for several minutes, passing dancing fires and ever more food stands. Robin saw the occasional couple kissing in a dark corner, from the heated intimacies of romance to the hesitant pecks of youthful affection. She saw Hideki notice as many as she did; but in his eye, she identified a mysterious spark of regret. She longed to question the captain about his own past – the urge grew with the sight of every new expression – but at the same time, Robin knew he wouldn't just hand it to her on a silver platter. She was going to have to work for his indulgences.

"There." Hideki pointed towards the horizon. "See it?"

The archeologist blinked, startled out of her thoughts. She looked, and for a long moment, she did not understand what it was she was supposed to be seeing. It simply looked like another piece of the sky. It _was_ lovely, of course, with so many stars emerging in the blue behind that fading curtain of dusky rose…

But wait.

Robin cocked her head slightly as they approached the mysterious phenomenon. There were no stars in this patch of the sky. And now that she looked closer, it seemed to have a definite border – invisible but for the peculiar black smudged that marked it, stretching like… _shadows_.

Then she saw it, just as Hideki stopped at the foot of the great structure. It was a massive dome, at least half a kilometer in height and diameter, covered with a peach red, clothlike substance that seemed to ripple like water in the night-hailing breeze off the sea. There didn't seem to be any windows, doors, or openings of any kind, except for the dark threshold before Robin and her escort. Crowds poured into the great black mouth, their excited chatter bubbling into her ears. Around her, the archeologist noticed more people checking their watches, their eyes widening in delight and alarm as they also hurried to enter the pale crimson dome.

Hideki jerked his stubbly head towards the threshold. "Come on. Want to get a good seat or not?"

Robin wasn't exactly sure how to respond, so she allowed the captain to lead her over the threshold. For a long, tense moment, her world became darkness, a tumult of bodies bumping against her own. The darkness was so complete, it was as if a hood had been yanked over her head. She almost broke free – but then, she forced herself to close her eyes.

One. Two. Three.

Robin opened them.

As if by magic, an army of fluttering candle flames sprung to life before her, illuminating the great, babbling space in a warm golden half-light. A raised wooden platform was visible on the far side of the room. Countless round tables crowded the space in between, draped in white paper and lit by a single white candle. Each table could host a dozen people; not waiting for an invitation, the crowds parted around her and Hideki like a wave on a boulder, dispersing to grab a seat before they were all taken. It was filling up quickly. Far above them Robin knew was the roof of the dome, so high it was hidden in shadow.

"My…" she smiled. "I'm impressed."

"Not bad, eh? Biggest building in town, so big it can be an emergency shelter for the whole city. Made of security blanket. The stuff's waterproof, fireproof, bladeproof, coldproof, heatproof, and totally soundproof. Not even light can get through this bad boy." Hideki let go of her arm for a brief moment to pull out a chair for her over at a random table. "Back in our shipping days, we were famous for producing security blanket. Here."

"Fascinating." Robin nodded courteously and sat in the offered chair. She had found no reason not to trust this man yet. "So," said she as Hideki took a seat beside her. "Where are we?"

"Our amphitheater," the broad-shouldered captain answered, with a pensive expression. He folded his large hands before her. "An old… acquaintance of mine wrote a journal a while back. Tells his story. He was a big part of our island's history. So our best playwrights turned his words on Kibo Hana into a little artistic interpretation for the masses. Now, besides the opening of the Wishing Flowers and Lady Shizuka's dance, it's the most popular event at the festival."

"Popular…"

Suddenly, something occurred to Robin. "Kaiser-san?" she asked abruptly. "You are in charge of security, are you not?"

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Yeah. Why?"

Robin narrowed her aqua blue eyes at him. "If you are in here… who is defending your borders right now, at this moment?"

Hideki snorted. "Ha! Not the only soldier around here, you know, Nico-san," he told the archeologist, a laugh in his voice, as if she'd just told him a funny joke. "Marsie-chan might be a rogue. She's also powerful. Streetsmart. Hotheaded, yeah. But I used to be like that, too. Experience speaking, the only way to cure something like that – to make her a really great officer, is to just trust her and put her out there. Things might happen. But when worse comes to worse, Marsie can handle anything short of an army by herself."

Hideki patted his hip, where a sleepy Transponder Snail hung from his belt. "Even if something happens, we have a hotline.

"So relax. Enjoy the show."

A smattering of applause drew his eyes to the stage. He leaned over to blow out their candle; he didn't bother to secretly steal a glance at his companion, as Robin did. "Hopefully, it'll answer some of your questions."

Everyone around them blew out their candles as well. Complete darkness fell.

There were a few moments when the silence, the blackness, was almost palpable. Robin glanced behind her, curious, but her gaze was drawn back to the stage as a quiet song began to play. Chimes rang inside the amphitheater. They accompanied and contrasted the deep, tolling melody as it wove its way through the air, like a tapestry of beauty, mystery, and sorrow. Blue and golden light began to ripple over the raised wooden platform. The archeologist recognized a simulation of sunbeams filtering through ocean waves.

Just then, a young man began to speak over the music, adding his sweet, sad baritone to the accompaniment. _"It's been almost two years to the day since we arrived here,"_ he began. _"Here in this world of evil and frivolity…"_

"Is that him?" Robin whispered.

She almost jumped when Hideki's voice came out of the air right next to her ear. "No, it's an actor. Sounds a lot like he did, though. Hush."

The archeologist was happy to oblige. Arriving? This world, as if in reference to another? She had a hunch about who the writer was now… and she wanted to hear the words of this lost titan now more than ever.

No one emerged onto the stage, but the invisible speaker went on. _"For the longest time, I've hoped it was an illusion, but I think that I've always known this place was real. But if I am living, writing this in a place like this… what does that mean for the baby I now hold, in arms cold as ice? I can't bring her back with me. I could never explain her to my parents, or my friends. Her father is here, so I have no claim to this child. But I feel it is my duty to leave something for her. To know where she comes from, and _who_ she comes from._

_ "Pay attention, little Shizuka… and anyone else who might read this, so you don't make the same mistakes I did. This is _our_ legacy."_

The first figure made its way onstage; the speaker. From what Robin's hungry eyes could see, he looked to be seventeen or eighteen, with jet black hair and a somber expression.

His lips moved. _"My name is Skylar Juneko."_

A second figure moved to join him onstage. This one was a girl, several years the speaker's junior, with hair and eyes as dark as his. She skipped across the stage with a dazzling smile; a carefree and happy young teenager. _"It feels like forever ago," _the speaker Skylar continued, ignoring the girl as she took her place beside him,_ "but when I arrived here, my younger sister came along for the ride. Maybe she was the reason for all this. I don't know. She was your mother, Sequoia Juneko. We lived in our dad in a run-down apartment in San Francisco, California. I'm sure you don't know where that is, and you probably never will._

"_But I'm not here to mince words."_

**BOOM**.

**…**

Outside, warm winds blew across the newfallen night, rustling through the treetops and over the beaches, blustering impatiently around the heads of G5 Marines. Standing on the expansive deck of a G5 battleship, there were almost a thousand of them. And none of them were grunts; still, they remained in formation, shuffling uneasily as they heard the sounds of music and festivity wafting down from the apex of Kibo Hana Island. Their orders had been to move out at sunset, hadn't they?

Tashigi gripped the hilt of her sword, then turned as the slam of a door met her ears. "You're late!" she hissed to Smoker, as he walked behind her.

The vice admiral of G5 waved two bits of paper at his captain. "Keep your hair on. I had to dig these up."

"What are those?" Tashigi asked, curious.

Smoker bypassed her question and stepped atop the battlements, scowling viciously down at the murmuring crowd; any doubtful whispering that had been going on stopped. Countless eyes now stared at him, awaiting the details of their mission.

"_MEN_!"

Even Tashigi jumped to attention at his commanding bellow.

Kizaru, beside her, looked only mildly impressed. "Hm."

Above their heads, Smoker continued. "We have an important mission tonight!" he roared over the attentive silence of his soldiers. "Our orders are to capture a dangerous criminal on this island, dead or alive. It's even common misconception on this island that she is a goddess, with supernatural abilities.

"Her name is Juneko Shizuka."

**…**

There was a fantastic report as blinding rays of white light filled the dome. Several people cried out and covered their eyes; Robin was among them, her retinas searing with pain. Hideki had closed his eyes beforehand with practiced ease. But then, the darkness returned as quickly as it had gone. The dazzled archeologist blinked hastily, trying to expel the popping lights in her vision.

"_Sequoia and I landed on a pirate ship." _

Through the disorientation, she heard the Gale Dancer's uncle's words resound across the years and through the mouth of another._ "Those pirates were ridiculous in all sorts of ways, ridiculously cruel, ridiculously powerful… but my sister's ability was enough to keep them calm. I couldn't control mine then. She knew more about this place anyway."_

Ability?

When she could see properly once more, the scene had changed. Now, the lighting simulated that of a sunny day. Several vending carts, just like the ones outside, had appeared as if by magic. People mimed calling out and selling their goods, oblivious to the Juneko siblings discovered center stage.

"_We arrived on this supply outpost five days later," _the tall boy said.

"Writers skipped a lot, there," Hideki informed her at a whisper.

"Ah…"

"_The islanders were being oppressed and overworked by the people in charge. We have Marines back where I come from, but I tell you…" _Skylar jerked a thumb at the costumed Navy actors that came to surround him. _"They certainly aren't freaks like these."_

Robin chuckled with the rest of the audience.

**…**

The plume man glared intently at his soldiers. "Some of you may be wondering why HQ sent so many of you with us just to capture one woman."

A murmur went up amongst the assembly. "It is because G4 had the same mission as we did," Smoker told them, "almost a month ago. Her guardians Kaiser Hideki and Deiter Marsela, along with their small army – called the Gale Dancer's Guard – are responsible for their complete extermination. Even before that, they destroyed the Marine base on Kibo Hana and drove all of our soldiers into the open sea! They are notorious outlaws!"

**…**

_"Somehow, we ended up liberating the island! We made a few friends along the way, too."_

Robin squinted to see the two adults that came out. One was a short, muscled woman, with a dark, short-cropped hairstyle and a long-handled weapon of some kind. The other looked to be about Skylar's age, with a long brown ponytail. He brandished a live sword with enough prowess to make Robin believe he was a soldier, or guard of some type.

"_They were older than us, but they helped us out in a couple tight spots."_

The newcomers helped the Juneko siblings make fast work of the Marines. None of them struck each other – this was a stage production, after all – but in the end, the white-and-blue costumed men fled from their presence.

The venders came out from behind their carts, bowing and scraping to their four young saviors.

"_We left that island heroes," _Skylar told the audience, nervously accepting a handout from one of his admirers. Robin wouldn't have thought the occurrence was all that remarkable, if not for his next line._ "I heard a couple people calling Sequoia and me 'gods.' Our abilities were strange to even us at the time, so it almost wasn't even funny…"_

There is was again. Abilities.

**…**

The pieces of paper in Smoker's grip unfurled with a snap. "These are their wanted posters!" he announced. "Know the face of the enemy!"

The Marines below peered up at the weathered pictures.

The first showed a young man. His sharp, multicolored eyes seemed to laugh at the camera, his features handsome with the devilish expression and boyish smile of a person yet to embrace hardship or responsibility – the type of person who seized _carpe diem_ in the most primal way and made even married women take leave of their senses. His shoulders were broad, his physique muscular for a boy of his age. He was practically posing in the shot, holding the stance after completing a theatrical maneuver with his long, hand-and-a-half sword, its sharp golden edge glowing red-hot with the speed of his strike.

The caption below read WANTED: KAISER HIDEKI. 325,000,000.

The second photo wasn't nearly as crisp. This one had been taken haphazardly from a precarious angle – as if from the chest of a person lying on the ground – and showed the face of a cruelly attractive woman, gazing down with disgusted black eyes at the camera. Shimmering black hair fit her head like a helmet. She wore a rough, but fitted garment, with pieces of scrap armor sewn over her vital organs and full, compact breasts; her hands, arms, and legs were marked with the scars of a streetfighter. A weapon was propped on her shoulder; it appeared to be a warhammer, gore dripping from the head down a handle as long as her own body. The lens had been spattered so thickly with blood, it was hard to believe the soldier who had pressed the shutter button was still alive. The whole image was lit up from behind by the distant sun; like a grim precursor to the afterlife.

WANTED: DEITER MARSELA. 270,000,000.

"Kaiser Hideki," Smoker projected, holding the first poster aloft. "His bounty increased to over 300 million last month, after destroying three battalions of Marines with nothing but a sword and his bare hands. He may not look it, but he's a powerful swordsman, suspected to be just as if not more skillful than Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro! He's been seen cutting steel and fire. It's suspected he can even cut air."

He held up the second. "Deiter Marsela. Two hundred-seventy million Berry bounty. If you think she won't crush your head like a grapefruit because she's a woman, you're wrong. Her fighting style involves mixed martial arts, the element of surprise – and in particularly nasty cases, a spiked warhammer. Her technique can't be learned or predicted, like Kaiser's. It's blindingly fast, erratic, and extremely effective. Even those of you with Observation Haki will have a tough time predicting her attacks, so don't underestimate her!"

Smoker rolled up the parchments tightly. "Now, keep in mind these pictures are a little dated!" he announced, slapping the railing with it. "There might be a few things different in their appearance."

The Marines below nodded hastily.

**…**

"_Six months passed."_

**BOOM.**

The bright light exploded through the dome again. Robin threw her hands in front of her eyes, but was a beat too late to avoid the full impact on her retinas. She bit her lip, blinking rapidly until she could see the new scene change.

The girl had vanished. The woman and young man were gone. Only Juneko Skylar was left, holding a bundle of pale white gossamer close to his chest, as if Robin might try to take it away from him. Streams of blue and red light flickered around his body – immersing the air he breathed in with gentle torture, like the fires of purgatory.

_"Now, your mother is dead."_

The black form that was Hideki stiffened. "Skipped. A _lot_. There," he hissed.

But Juneko Skylar continued. _"Now, I'm back at that first island, where I'm writing this to you, Shizuka._

He looked down at the pale white bundle in his arms. _"Everyone is saying people like us have no place in this world… even your new guardian. Our blood, our bodies, our minds are just too different. There's so much hate now. So many deplorable things that I did for nothing. Things I hope you will never have to know. I thought I had no choice but to die, in that place where only the dead speak. I know this world isn't mine. It's all around me. Now that I know everything is real, it's hurting me. If I stay here much longer, it's going to kill me._

"_But, there is good news. I've found a way to get back to where I come from."_

Robin's breath caught, as the fires around him began to fade into black.

There was a way to get back to the otherworld.

**…**

Smoker held up a hand.

"But. There's one more thing," he told them.

He hesitated. "…The Strawhat Pirates are attending tonight's festival."

Just as he'd suspected, there was an uproar amongst the Marines. "_EEEEEEEEH_?!"

"The Strawhats?"

"Why would they be here?!"

"_QUIET_!" Smoker bellowed.

When it was quiet, he continued. "We suspect that Strawhat Luffy has allied himself with the natives. Maybe he's even taken this island over as his territory! To fulfill our mission, we'll be stepping on the toes of the Strawhat Pirates! Don't let our temporary collaboration on Punk Hazard cloud your judgment! They're still pirates! As justice, when you step foot on that island, it is your duty to treat them like any other criminals!

"And anyone who's with them."

The vice admiral drew his silvery white jutte and held it high. "Who's with me?!"

A thousand soldiers roared in response.

**…**

Much to Robin's disappointment, Juneko Skylar did not elaborate on the way to return to his world.

He simply went on. _"So, no," _said he, all alone in the impending darkness._ "I won't be the one to see this through. Maybe… someone will come along to finish what this cosmos began. Maybe you'll be that person. But no matter what happens in this life, don't listen to anyone who tells you you aren't worth anything! You are different here. You are human _and_ them. Feel your heartbeat. Listen to your blood!_

"_You are alive. And you have the right to be here."_

The actor bowed to his audience, just as the darkness became complete.

**…**

Tashigi unsheathed her sword. "Justice!" she yelled, saluting her superior. "Justice!" The others took up the chant, drawing their weapons – banging swords, hammers, and bronze knuckles to the beat of justice. Kizaru's thin lips quirked upwards.

Smoker nodded in approval.

"Then...

"Let's _GO_!"

Smoker pushed off – his Logia powers spreading a billowing arc of silver smoke in his wake as he flew into the dark cover of the forest. The army of G5 leapt over the rail of their warship, with an admiral, a captain, and a thousand men, all after the hidden legacy of Kibo Hana Island… Shizuka, the Gale Dancer.

**…**

_**BOOM. **_

There was a third flash of white light. Robin had the self-awareness to cover her eyes, and avoided being blinded for a third time – but when she looked, the stage was clear.

Juneko Skylar was gone.

Around her, the crowd erupted in applause. Robin nearly jumped; she had forgotten the rest of the audience was there. The applause went on for at least a full minute… but eventually, it quieted down. A thin stream of people began to trickle through the exit, back to the noise and lights of outside. Most of them stayed at their tables. The clink of cutlery met Robin's ears, and the incohesive babble of discussion that always followed such a production.

"Now you know," Hideki said through a mouthful of something. "You going to eat that?"

Robin glanced down with a start.

A plate of meat, fresh spring vegetables, and a pile of the same tangy pink rice she'd tasted at lunch sat between her hands, with a cup of steaming tea and a small saucer of boot mints on the side. She had been so enraptured by the account of Skylar Juneko that she hadn't even noticed when someone had set it before her. It unnerved her slightly.

She put a boot mint in her mouth. _You're relaxing too much, _she told herself, jumping and twitching as its frigid electricity exploded inside her skull. Her pupils contracted. _Focus._

"Kaiser-san."

"You like my name? Been saying it a lot lately."

"Oh… I'm sorry if I've offended you."

Hideki smirked at her. Robin felt an electric tingle in her loins as their eyes met; where had that come from? "Not at all," he said. "Just yanking your chain. What is it?"

_Focus._

"The goddess Sequoia – and her brother, Skylar. They were from another world, weren't they?"

"I'd think that'd be pretty obvious by now."

Robin gazed intently at him. "But it wasn't heaven, was it?"

An equivocal spark flared in Hideki's diamondlike eyes. He set down his silverware. He opened his mouth. Then closed it.

"No. But how –?"

"We have one too."

Hideki sucked in a breath to say something, but Robin pushed ahead. "She arrived on our ship three days ago in a blaze of light. She's a young lady, maybe seventeen or eighteen," she said, trying to speak calmly. This man was practically a stranger. But he knew something about otherworlders, she knew it. The boot mint sent tingling sensations coursing over every inch of her skin. _Every_ inch. She was so close. "Please, Kaiser-san, can you tell me anything about these people? From that play… the Junekos seemed to have had harnessed their power somehow. Is it possible?"

"H-Hold. Hold on," Hideki gasped. "Just. Give me. A minute. Sixty. Sixty seconds, I mean."

Robin waited. The guard captain seemed to speak in even shorter fragments when he got upset – and in this case, he was reeling. He exhaled sharply. He rubbed his face, anxiety adding ten years to his already worn features. _Shizuka-sama aside, _Robin thought, bewildered by his appalled reaction, _what could otherworlders have possibly done to make Kaiser-san act like this? The liberation of his island? I would think he'd be grateful for that. Not…_

_Frightened._

Still, she waited. Watched.

Fifty three seconds later, he finally spoke.

Hideki leveled a furrowed gaze at Robin. "I hope you got a sensible one, Nico-san," said he. "Here? We call them gods instead of people for a reason. That power he mentioned?" He exhaled and kneaded his forehead. A dozen memories and emotions came to a rolling boil, pushing under his even tone.

"It is a power to raise hell on earth."

Robin's eyes widened. "But… he said they learned to control it."

Hideki didn't look at her. "Control is the word, isn't it? Inhibitions block the power of the gods. More excited or emotional they get, the more power they possess in this world."

The archeologist's mouth tightened. She remembered what Brook-san had said two yesterdays before – after brushing elbows with death a second time – how he described his vision of Rosethorne-san's ability; how it moved involuntarily. Faster than thought. "So, it happens without their consent…?"

"Yes. But only powerful ones have complete control over what happens."

"There are powerful ones? Are you saying there are different kinds?"

Hideki shifted uncomfortably, avoiding her eyes. "I don't know what makes some different than others. But whatever it is… it alters _this_ world to suit _them_. Most of the time they won't even realize they're doing it. And if you're under their spell, you'd never know it either. You would kill and think it's out of loyalty. You would die and never realize they killed you. You would be friends with them and think it's real! You would _love_ and think it's –!"

Hideki looked at the beautiful woman that sat across from him, then away, as if ashamed.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Got carried away. Please forgive me."

Robin gazed at him, speechless. Forgive him? What was one supposed to _say_ to something like that? She'd wanted to know about the otherworlders – craved to know, even – but she had never expected anything like this. Now, doubts had been planted, their festering roots burrowing deeper into her mind. By Kaiser-san's words, there was no way to know whether their friendship with Rosethorne-san had been formed truly, or falsely kindled by otherworldly forces. What if… _she_ was under that power, influenced to believe that the girl was their friend? What if the entire _crew_ was under?

"What happened to Skylar-sama?" Robin asked, abruptly changing the topic. That train of thought led to an ugly and confusing mindset. She didn't want to dwell on Rosethorne-san that way, with no way to prove her as friend or foe. "The play wasn't exactly specific."

"Not sure, really," he replied. "He _did_ come back to Kibo Hana. Said he'd found a way to get back to his world, yeah. But he _was_ half-crazy when he said it. Along with all kinds of other crap. It scared me."

Robin tried to contain herself. "So, he did say something else?" she asked, struggling to keep her voice neutral. "What was it?"

"It was a lifetime ago. Can't remember most of it. He stayed one night, then he was gone the next morning. Might've killed himself. Might've been killed. Heck, might've been telling the truth. But I never saw him again." He took an idle sip of wine. "So I guess we'll never know."

Robin blinked.

She shook her head in utter rejection. "No," she refused. That couldn't just be _it_. "There has to be something else. _Anything_ else."

"Well."

Hideki idly tapped one of the spines in his fork. "Had this weird Eternal Pose with him. It had the spark, like he did. Creeped me out, too."

"What did it look like? What did it say?"

Hideki paused, thinking. Robin held her breath.

"… Crystal. It was made of completely crystal. He kept babbling about a chest, too. And a key. 'I have to separate the lock from the key,' he said. 'To keep them from following.'" He shrugged. "Something along those lines."

Looking at his body language, his tone of voice – the older woman realized. He was drawing back from the situation; a basic defense mechanism of the psyche, to prevent itself from further damage. Kaiser Hideki had horrible memories concerning otherworlders… so horrible even touching on the subject had made him reach his limit, and she still didn't know a thing about his past. But it was clear that he had told her all he was going to.

At least for right now.

Robin picked up her fork and began to eat, quickly but elegantly as she could. She was actually rather hungry after all that. Swallowing a mouthful, she noticed her companion wasn't eating.

Hideki gazed at his plate soberly.

His hand flicked up to catch the round green orb that flew towards his face. He glanced at the boot mint, then at Robin.

The Strawhat archeologist was smiling at him. "Nice hands," she purred.

The guard captain smirked at her. He could sense his interrogation was over. "You know what they say about big hands, Nico-san," he replied.

"And what is that?"

"Big _gloves_." He popped it in his mouth. "So. Got any hobbies?"

"Well, I _am_ reading a very intriguing book right now…"

"How intriguing?"

Robin gave him a suggestive look under her lashes. "_Very_ intriguing."

"Tell me about it. Sure I can keep up." Hideki drummed the tablecloth with his strong, adept fingers, his pupils dilating as increased adrenaline began to pump through his system.

At the sight, the archeologist felt her blood vibrate.

_Mmmm…_

**.oOo.**

Outside, the wind was starting to pick up. The squeaks and trills of the wildlife blazed up in warning – then died away just as quickly when the footfalls of an army tromped past their homes. A few of G5 were panting, thighs burning after most of half an hour at the steep slope. Tashigi felt herself sweating, but didn't allow her discomfort to show. Smoker, on the other hand, had lowered himself to walking as not to leave any of his men behind, and Kizaru looked fresh as a spring breeze. The woman captain contained a sigh of envy.

Suddenly, Smoker threw a hand up. "Hold," he hissed.

Tashigi halted. The ranks of Marines behind her were a bit slow in doing the same – some men stepping on each other's boot heels – but their formation did come to a stop.

Smoker's snapping black eyes narrowed. There, only a few dozen yards up the hill, he could see light; the warm golden light of party lamps. The sounds of sizzling food and babbling crowds fell on his ears through the nighttime cricket-song.

"We're here."

The vice admiral turned to his men. "All right, men. We don't know what's going to greet us on the top of this hill, so stay sharp!"

He looked at Tashigi. "Don't let your guard down."

She saluted. "Yes, sir!"

Kizaru glanced between them, blinked… and released a long, drawn-out sigh. "Welllll," the admiral lazily intoned, aiming a look at the starry night sky. "Not that this isn't fun, but I'm gonna go up there, get a look at the layout of this city. It could be pretty big, with all the hullabaloo coming through the trees, there."

Without waiting for Smoker's answer, the admiral disappeared into the sky with a bullet of golden light. The other Logia barely spared him a glance. "Are you ready?" Smoker called over the heads of his army. They roared in affirmation.

"Then, let's go." The vice admiral, lady captain, and the entire G5 branch of the Navy trekked up the last stretch of packed dirt road, crossed the threshold…

And stopped.

Three armored figures stood before them. Backlit by the wonderful lights, sounds, and smells of the festival, they were motionless – like cold denizens of shadow, cardboard cutouts carved by heartless shinigami. Their armor was a stunning cobalt hue that flickered in the lamplight. It looked light and flexible, suitable for both close- and long-range combat; two of them were tall, holding long, spearheaded pikes. The third was shorter, with no weaponry visible in his silhouette, but seemed to stand with authority – and before Smoker could react, he spoke.

"Well, well, what have we here?" asked the man in the middle, in a light, careless baritone. His eyes were hidden beneath the shadow of his helmet, quickly surveying the army before him.

"I believe they're Marines, Commander!" one of the taller ones stated.

There was moment of awkward silence.

Said commander turned his head towards his subordinate. "That, private," said he, "was what one calls a _rhetorical question_. Do. You. Understand?"

The soldier nodded, looking properly abashed.

His commanding officer growled. "Stupid, but better late than never."

Abruptly, his helmet turned back toward Smoker. "I take it you're in charge. State your business, Marine," he ordered. "Kibo Hana Island doesn't particularly welcome your kind since the Navy's intrusion on our shores a month ago… but I'm sure you've heard about that."

Smoker's fist clenched around his jutte.

But this infuriating shorty continued to talk, either oblivious or uncaring to the vice admiral's rising temper. "Oh, forget I said that, will you?" he said, waving away his previous comment. "Thanks. Anyway, my orders are to allow anyone in as long as they promise not to make trouble for us, the citizens, or our grand lady – Shizuka, the Gale Dancer."

"Smoker-san," Tashigi whispered, prodding his arm. "The terms. You have to read them the terms before we can legally use force."

"All right, all right," Smoker replied through his teeth. "This guy _really_ pisses me off, anyway." He stepped forward – oblivious to the shadows flickering through the ranks of his soldiers.

A helmet cocked at the vice admiral. "Oh? Do we have an upstart?"

Smoker took a deep breath… and let it out.

Zen achieved, he leveled an intimidating glare at this no-name soldier. "My name is Vice Admiral Smoker of the G5 Branch!" he said. He stepped forward, ignoring the sharp spears the taller guardians leveled at him; the blades passed through him in a wisp of smoke. "I have orders to capture your ruler – the Gale Dancer, Juneko Shizuka – dead or alive, with any force necessary. I also have permission to detain anyone who stands in my way, so please."

He stopped face-to-face before the commander, coal black eyes gleaming with ferocity. "Step aside."

Usually, anyone on the receiving end of Smoker's intimidating glare at least considered him before offering any witty retorts. But this man _snorted_. "You? Detain me?" he laughed.

His teeth gleamed wolfishly in the shadow of his helmet.

"You and what army?"

"_SMOKER-SAN_!" Tashigi shrieked.

The Logia whirled to see his captain wrestled back down and gagged by three cobalt-clad guards of the Gale Dancer. Another held a pistol on the back of her head. When the vice admiral turned to demand why his own soldiers hadn't prevented it, he was met with the sight of his army being threatened with mortars, bottlenecked at the hillside threshold. Dozens of the native Guard had appeared out of nowhere. Several stood on the rooftops, sniper rifles trained on the Marines below. Looking around, Smoker could see the eyes of at least twenty more flashing in the shadows, behind the cold mouth of a rifle or pistol.

Ten men circled him, jabbing the tips of their hungry spears into his trousers and jacket; among them, Smoker saw the "stupid" soldier who had announced his party as Marines. Now he had the cold, intelligent eyes of a killer. It had all been an act, to lower his guard. Smoker cringed as a spearhead nicked his flesh; Armament Haki. His own advice, flouted.

He went to take a step, but the snick of a blade made him freeze.

"Ah, ah, ah."

Smoker stiffened. Warm blood trickled around the razor edge of a dagger pressed at his neck; like the others, the officer behind him seemed to possess Armament Haki as well. He guided Smoker's head back around with the point of his blade. "You seem a little negligent, if you ask me, 'Vice Admiral Marine'-_san_," he chuckled, but the humor in his voice was dry and cold as a bitter arctic wind. "Also, don't get any ideas about calling the others to come help you. We've planted mines all along that hillside, and when I've killed you and have a free hand… I'll set them off. There won't be enough of your 'army' left to take back to Headquarters in a grocery bag."

The dagger sawed a full half-inch into Smoker's neck. White lights blinked in his vision; bolts of agony made his brain a pincushion. Blood began to pour.

"Or of _you_, for that matter."

The commander jerked his head. At his unspoken command, one of the soldiers circling them lunged forward – burying the head of his partisan deep into Smoker's thigh. The Logia cringed in pain: "Chaah!" At his moment of disorientation, the shorter man grabbed his arm with fingers of steel, bending him over backwards. Smoker's eyes widened as his throat was bared to that merciless dagger.

_This wasn't how it was supposed to happen!_ his brain insisted. _This wasn't…_

"Smoker-san!" Tashigi cried. Around them, crosshairs centered. Hammers clicked down. Tashigi flinched at the barrel set to her head.

The man raised his blade to plunge it into Smoker's throat.

"Kill them all."

That was when Kizaru came down from the sky, lit his entire leg in a blaze of light, and slammed it into the armored man's gut. The Guard went flying. He smashed lengthwise into a solid stone wall, scattering splinters of grey stone in every direction with an explosive report.

"Commander Mars!" one of them yelled.

Kizaru lowered his leg. "You people," he sighed. "If I hadn't happened to see your dilemma, you'd all be dead as _doorknobs_ by noooow…"

Smoker gasped and pressed a palm against his neck – he didn't have enough of his senses to use his Logia powers to heal himself. _ That person possesses the fear, as well, _he realized, looking at the soldier's form, lying motionless on the ground. _Admiral Kizaru is right. And that one isn't even…!_

"Bastards – _coff_!"

Smoker's eyes widened.

Kizaru squinted. "Aaaaah, still alive, are yooou?"

Commander Mars stirred in the debris of his impact, coughing blood and bile into the rocky dust as the Marine admiral lunged. The dented helmet twitched towards the rest of the Guard as Kizaru placed his foot on his back. "Go," he rasped. "Warn the captain."

"But –!"

"Shut up!" Mars pulled a ragged gasp and glared up at Kizaru. "_Go_!"

_**BOOM**_.

There was a blast of light, and another explosive impact. The cobalt breastplate crumpled like tin foil under the onslaught. Time seemed to stop as the smoke cleared…

Mars twitched.

_**BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.**_

He didn't move again.

Kizaru lowered his leg.

As if a spell had been broken, the Gale Dancer's Guard scattered like cockroaches under a storeroom light, vanishing in the blink of an eye over roofs, through shadows, and even into thin air. G5 went from being surrounded and in peril to eerily, utterly alone – with abandoned mortars, a motionless body, and the foreboding stench of blood hanging in the air.

Tashigi was the first to recover.

She rushed over to Smoker. "Are you all right?!" she demanded, fishing a handkerchief out of her pants and offering it to him. "Here… use it to stop the bleeding."

Smoker swatted it away. "I'm fine."

It wasn't just masculine bravado. The fear had ebbed away now; Logia smoke neatly filled up his wounds, healing his neck and leg as they became whole once more. He straightened, rubbing his tingling throat. "Thanks anyway."

Tashigi's eyes gleamed with concern, but she drew away. The rest of G5, however, was a different story. They swarmed into the plaza, crowding around their vice admiral.

"Smokey!" they sobbed. "We were so _worried_ about you!"

Smoker punched one and whacked another with his silvery jutte. "Shut up!" he roared. "Get back in formation!"

The Logia pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger as they scrambled to comply; he could definitely feel a migraine coming on. _Still_, he thought, glancing at Kizaru. The admiral flipped Mars's body over with his shoe, tapping the collapsed, bloody chestplate. _Kizaru-san was right. If he hadn't been up there watching, we all would probably be dead right now. This Guard is smart, fast, and deadly._

_And they're going to warn Kaiser, and I still have to find Strawhat!_

"Tashigi!"

The swordswoman saluted hastily. "Yes, sir?!"

Smoker gestured for her to drop the salute. "You're with me. We're going to find the Strawhats."

"Yes, sir."

Smoker raised his voice so that the whole of G5 could hear him. "Everyone else! Find those blue-armored bastards, whatever you have to do! If they happen to lead you to Kaiser, Deiter, or even the Gale Dancer herself, _do not attack_. Call Admiral Kizaru, Captain Tashigi, or me and tell us their location, but – I repeat – do not engage! We don't want a repeat of this, do we?"

The Marines were quick to shake their heads. "No, I didn't think so! So go! And be careful!"

Suddenly, a patch of yellow in his peripherals caught his attention.

"Hold on, Admiral." Smoker turned – last but not least – to Kizaru. "You'll serve us best where you were," the vice admiral told him, thrusting his jutte back into its holster on his back. "Stick to the skies and alert us via Transponder Snail if you find anything promising. We'll do the same.

Kizaru nodded and took off.

Smoker examined G5's formation with a critical eye as they began to tromp past him, the bright yellow arc of Admiral Kizaru streaking across the starry night sky. Finally, things were getting done.

* * *

"Oh look," Sanji growled to no one in particular. "A shitty shooting star."

The blonde clopped to a halt, plopping his hands on his knees as he heaved breaths of air – heavily laden with the scents of perfume, wood smoke, rum, and human excrement. The crowd simply went around him; most of them were adults, their talk growing slurred and loud with drink. Sanji glanced around his person. He didn't see a single food vender anymore.

_Where am I? This is more of a place where I'd find the marimo, not Luffy… and certainly not Vera-chan!_

Sanji cursed under his breath and straightened. _I've been running around this shitty festival for at least an hour! It has to be almost nine o' clock by now! _the cook fretted, leaning against a nearby mask stand._ I hate to think of poor, sweet, delicate Vera-chan at the mercy of that rubber idiot! _

He closed his eyes, remembering.

"_**Everyone, just… be careful. Okay? I know some of you won't pull that flare even if you're dying. But please, just do it. I don't want to lose any of you."**_

"_**I'm going ahead! And Vera wants to come with me! Right?"**_

Sanji groaned, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

_He was acting really weird when he took her away…_ he thought to himself, as a boy in a straw hat and a gorgeous brunette darted around him, chattering excitedly at the contents of the mask stand. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't sense the familiar pair as they bribed a free monkey mask from the vender and snapped it over the girl's face, who made strange animal noises as the boy laughed. _And by now they could be almost anywhere! What am I gonna –?!_

Suddenly, Sanji stopped.

He blinked.

He glanced again at the two people in front of him.

That was Luffy. The strawhatted boy rocked backward on his heels, laughing extremely loudly as Vera danced around, pointing the monkey mask at him from different angles. "HA HA HA! Vera, you're so funny!" he gasped.

"Oo! Ooo oo!" she hooted.

Sanji blinked. That was Vera.

The rubber man collapsed in gales of mirth, rolling in the street as Sanji's jaw slowly descended towards the sidewalk. Vera pointed the mask at a random passerby, flipping the person's ponytail and making monkey sounds. While her back was turned to the two Strawhats, Luffy sprung up – and seemingly out of nowhere – slapped her butt.

Vera shrieked and threw up her hands.

Sanji felt like he had been turned to stone. The monkey mask went flying, hitting the aghast blonde in the face as she hunkered down on her knees; protecting her soft bottom while still managing to keep a hold on her ice cream cone – weaseled out of a vender on the other side of town.

* * *

Vera craned her head around. "Why. In the _world_. Did you do _that_?"

* * *

Luffy looked innocently at her. "Isn't that a way of saying hello in your world? You did it to Zoro!"

* * *

Vera stood up, albeit a bit shakily. She _had_ sexually harassed Zoro, but that was the marimo! A booty slap was a little disarming… coming from Mr. Monkey D. Asexual-Everyone-Is-My-Nakama-What-Is-Libido-Is-That-Some-Kind-Of-Food Luffy.

"Um, sure," she replied uncertainly. "Let's go with that…"

* * *

Something snapped in Sanji's core.

"_**LUUUUUFFFYYYYYY!**_"

"Eh? Sanji– _gyah_?!"

The Strawhat captain turned around, just in time to avoid a kick to his head so powerful the shockwave knocked over a goldfish-catching stand on the other side of the street. Water sprayed everywhere. Goldfish flopped and gasped on the tiles. One hopped its way all the way over to Vera's feet. The otherworlder looked at it, licked her ice cream cone… then picked it up and tossed it in a nearby drunkard's glass.

That done, she eagerly directed her gaze back to the fight at hand. A few other people stopped to watch, too; from the look in her eyes, this was going to be good.

Luffy bobbed and weaved, managing to avoid every one. "It's just a greeting!" he yelped.

"Greeting, my _ass_!"

Sanji continued to launch furious kicks at Luffy, apparently trying his best to knock the rubber man's head from his shoulders. Then, cook feigned a blow at Luffy's left side. When he dodged right, Sanji darted in and snagged his captain by the front of his yukata. Luffy protested loudly and tried to get free. Sanji shook him like a rag doll in response, and when the rubber man's brains were sufficiently scrambled, he pulled him so close their noses were touching. "What the hell were you _doing_, eh?" Sanji growled.

"I told you…" Luffy warbled dizzily. "Oww…"

"And another thing!"

Sanji glared, scalding ocean blue into whiplashed obsidian. "_What the hell is wrong with you, shithead?_"

Something changed in Luffy's eyes. "I –!"

He glanced away from Sanji, lips pursed and looking very guilty. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said haltingly.

A tic went off in Sanji's temple.

The cook dropped him. The rubber man collapsed to the street, sprawled out and eyes spinning like hypno-wheels; Sanji hunkered down next to him, staring down the younger boy. "You're a lousy liar!" he hissed. "And you're not fooling any of us, dammit! Not me, not Vera-chan, not anyone! Just tell me the shitty secret so we can all get on with our lives!"

Despite himself, Sanji's eyes gleamed with concern. "What's _wrong_?"

Luffy stared up at him like a deer in headlights.

On the Sunny. _**Zoro stood up, leveling a serious gaze at him. "Look, I know something's wrong. You've always been a lousy liar. You're not fooling any of us. If you can't trust the ero-cook – well, that's a first even for **_**you**_**. But you can tell me, right?"**_

In the forest. _**"I. Not. Tell Strawhat Pirates. If! You. Tell them." Vera made a wide swinging motion, probably meaning: "**_**After**_** party. Yes?"**_

Luffy bowed his head.

* * *

Vera yawned, turned, and began to pick her way through the crowd. From her experience, this was going to take up at least two episodes, with lots of repeating themselves and ending in a blaze of glory or some touching nakamaship moment, that would make Luffy and Sanji become even stronger comrades in the end.

_Meh, I don't want to see that now, _she told herself, nonchalantly licking her ice cream. _I'd probably screw it up, anyway._

_ No, no! _Fangirl cried, tugging madly at Vera's sleeve. _Go back! I want to see it! Maybe your brain will transform it into a yaoi moment! Go back!_

Vera turned pinker than Fangirl's yukata.

"OH MY LLAMA! Did you _really_ just say that?!" she exclaimed aloud, physically swatting at her voice of frivolity. It felt like even the tips of her ears were blushing. "Don't EVER put that image in my head again! Vange, do something!"

Inner Vange pushed up her glasses and ignored her sister's pleas.

Fangirl let go of Vera's sleeve, folding her arms crossly. _Oh, don't act like you've never seen hard yaoi, Miss Purer-Than-Thou!_ _ You too, Miss Stick-in-the-Mud! _

…

Inner Vange disappeared into her mental cubicle, scarred for life after being exposed to such magazines at the con. But Fangirl had to go on. _Come on, Vera-chan! _ _You only ship ZoSan anyway!_

That was it.

"STOPPIT! It's my guilty pleasure, all right?!" Vera sobbed, tears of obsessive shame flying off her burning cheeks. She broke into a run. "So_ sue_ me!"

* * *

Smoker and Tashigi turned the corner into a rum and mask market.

"What did you say it sounded like?" the swordswoman asked skeptically. "A _goldfish_ cart exploding?"

The Logia scowled at her. "Hey, who has the stronger Observation Haki around here?" he demanded, not noticing the tall brunette with an ice cream cone running full-out towards him. And not looking where she was going.

_Splat_.

* * *

Vera yelped and fell down.

"Owwww!" she complained, rubbing her posterior – which was still stinging a bit from Luffy's slap – dang, that kid didn't know his own strength – slap. Her heart raced, spiked by adrenaline. It was less the impact than the shock of suddenly running into what felt like a hot brick wall; now, the contents of her ice cream cone were plastered all across his pant leg.

"Awwww! Ah, well, gomen."

Apologizing to the person she had beaned with her yummy dairy treat, Vera braced her legs on either side of her, in preparation to hoist her clumsy booty back onto its feet. "Sorry, watashi wa shinai saiko at basic motor skills, I –!"

Then she glanced up.

Her knees wobbled, and Vera fell back onto her bottom at the sight of Vice Admiral Smoker of the G5 Marines. His pale, slicked back hair glinted dully, almost like how smoke absorbed light, in the illumination from their surroundings. The harsh smell of cigars filled her nose; that was probably due to the pair of them fumigating between his strong, white teeth. A deep scar along the side of his face cast shallow, craggy shadows over his face. His jutte – long, pale, and sharp, reminding Vera of a monster reindeer's polished horn – hung from a thin strap of leather, sewn into his Marine "justice" coat. And even if this was the most incredible cosplayer or wannabe of all time… no human could copy Smoker's bone-chilling glare, which was currently sending goosebumps coursing over Vera's skin.

_Fangirl_ goosebumps.

Suddenly, his face relaxed.

Smoker crouched down and reached out a gloved hand to her.

Vera's gaze flicked to him, then to the hand, then back to him, slowly turning pink under her light bronze skin. She didn't trust herself to calmly take the hand. Heck, she didn't trust herself to not go completely berserk on him! I mean, this guy was her most favorite Marine of _all frickin' time_!

Fangirl, meanwhile, swooped in mad circles around her quivering body. _Omigosh omigosh omigosh! _she squealed. _This is just like his introductory episode! Is he gonna say the line? Is he gonna say the line? OH MY GOSH, IS HE GONNA SAY THE –?!_

* * *

"Sorry, ojou-san," Smoker said. "Looks like my pants ate your ice cream."

The girl _squealed_.

Tashigi nearly jumped a foot in the air. "Smoker-san! What did you _do_?!" she yelped. The long-legged brunette turned the color of a radish, turned around, and covered her face, murmuring nonsense into her palms as her entire body wiggled like a worm's.

Smoker was entirely at a loss for words. He wasn't quite sure, himself.

**…**

Luffy shook his head. "I can't tell you."

Sanji hauled him up again, a very scary look on his face. "_Eeeeh_?"

"H-Hold on!" The rubber man waited, wide-eyed, until the cook stopped snarling at him. He look into Sanji's eyes, trying to convey sincerity. "Look, I promised Vera I'd tell everyone after the festival. Can't you wait until then? I need time to – prepare myself."

Sanji glared at him for a long moment.

He dropped Luffy again. "So, you told Vera-chan but not us? How messed up is that?!"

"Sanji…"

The blonde straightened. "I bet I could get it out of her," he said confidently. "I just need some time alone with her –"

He noodled, big pink hearts pulsing in his eyes. "TimealonewithVera_-chwan_!"

Suddenly, Sanji sobered and peered around. "Where is she, anyway?" he wondered aloud.

He cupped his hands around his mouth. "Vera-chwan!"

"Vera?" Luffy glanced around. The crowd was beginning to disperse – muttering in disappointment that the fight was over – but Vera was nowhere to be seen. She had been right there… Suddenly, a flash of brown hair caught his eye, at the precise moment Sanji did.

They turned.

And saw a very familiar-looking Marine helping up their stray otherworlder.

* * *

Abruptly, Vera stopped fangirling. _Choto matte._

She lowered her hands and peered anxiously back at Smoker. _It's awesome that G5 is here – now things can start speeding up – but if he interferes with Luffy and Sanji's nakamaship moment, it'll just be a pain in the neck with all that swinging and missing and pointless dialogue and distrust drama, _she deduced._ I gotta stall him, so they can finish up. Eto…_

Vera suddenly realized the monumental stupidity of such a task.

What in the world could possibly distract White Chase Smoker from capturing Strawhat Luffy, his self-proclaimed nemesis among all pirates? _I think Smoker has Observation, doesn't he?_ she thought as she looked around, desperately searching for an instrument that could possibly assist her purpose. _It's actually a miracle he hasn't noticed yet! Let's see, let's see…_

* * *

"_VER_–!" Luffy screamed.

Sanji clapped a hand over his captain's mouth and yanked him out of sight, pulling them both deep into the shadows of the mask stand. His back hit a wall; its chill seeped through the gleaming blue silk of his yukata, the miniscule pores in the smooth stone catching his garment's delicate fibers. Normally, he would back away to spare his clothes – but right now, Sanji was distracted by something far more urgent.

_This is __**bad**__. _The cook craned his neck as he struggled to keep an eye on that shitty vice admiral while keeping Luffy quiet. _But look at that smoky bastard's face… he has no idea she's one of us. But what if he does find out? If we don't do something now, Vera-chan might get captured or hurt! If we _do_ do something, it'll be _sure_ to cause a fight and Vera-chan might get hurt in the crossfire! _Sanjiagonized._ And we promised that Kaiser guy not to cause trouble! Oh, what the hell am I supposed to –!_

Suddenly, Sanji squinted. _Wait_.

Vera was twisting and turning – looking for something. Not someone; her eyes weren't on the right level for that. Suddenly, her eyes lit up.

Luffy fought free for a moment. "What are you doing?!" he demanded, gasping for air.

"Shut up a second, will ya?!" Sanji hissed, smacking a hand over Luffy's cavernous piehole for the second time. The blonde looked back, just in time to see Vera reach inside her obi.

He cocked his head. _What is she doing?_

* * *

"Thank goodness I tucked these away in case I got stuck in a line!" Vera pulled out a sheet of drawing paper and a pen.

She held them out to Smoker, giving him her prettiest smile.

"Can I have your autograph?"

* * *

Smoker stared at the pen.

Then her face, then the pen, then her face.

He didn't quite know what to make of this girl. She was probably seventeen or eighteen, with rich brown curls starting to fight free of their flower-shaped copper pins. Beautiful brown eyes. A slender body with curves set off by a gold and violet festival yukata. She was beautiful, but she was a different type of pretty than what he was used to seeing; her features were softer, lighter, smaller in the chest and hips, and bigger in the eyes and mouth. And was she speaking some kind of different language? Still, what really intrigued him was _her_. And her presence. Trying to look away from her was like trying to keep metal from being attracted to magnets.

But it wasn't attraction. It wasn't even fascination; in fact, he wanted ignore her and continue his search for Strawhat. But for some strange reason, he just couldn't bring himself to walk away… like he was a life-sized marionette puppet.

Held in place by a thousand glowing white strings.

Tashigi laughed awkwardly, jolting him out of his reverie. "Smoker-san, it looks like you have a fan," she said.

Smoker scowled. "Be quiet, Tashigi."

He took the pen and paper from the girl, signed it, and gave it back. She grinned excitedly, saying "Thank you very much!" before folding it up and tucking it carefully back into her bronze sash.

* * *

Vera glanced back behind her.

Luffy and Sanji were gone.

She frowned. Why'd they left her behind? Luffy she had been half-expecting to be gone, but it was a little out of character for the ero-cook to disappear like that. Still, she wasn't overly concerned; it wasn't like she was going to _stay_ on this island without seeing them again. That would never happen, not if a proper storyboard director like her subconscious brain had anything to say about it. And hey! If they weren't fighting, that meant they were done with their nakamaship moment.

_Perhaps you can summon them back. It is your brain, _Inner Vange pointed out, sounding sensible as always.

_Hm_. Vera pressed her forefingers to her temples. _Worth a shot._

"LUFFY!" she yelled in a conversational tone.

* * *

Smoker blinked. _Did she just –?!_

Tashigi's jaw dropped. "Smoker-san, did she just say Strawhat's name?!"

* * *

Nothing happened.

Vera glanced around, then tried again. "SANJI!"

* * *

"Now she's saying Black Leg's name!" Tashigi exclaimed.

"I _heard_ it!" Smoker growled.

**…**

Nearby, Sanji was recovering from a close brush with cardiac arrest. "Why is she calling for us?!" he whispered hotly to himself. "Does she _want_ to give us away?!"

_Still._

Blood began to trickle out of one nostril. _She said my name~! _the cook swooned.

**…**

Smoker fingered at his jutte, black eyes snapping with wariness and suspicion as he analyzed the look on the girl's face. She stared blankly forward – at him – as if waiting for something.

"Are you… being chased by them?" the vice admiral asked.

She blinked perplexedly.

"Yes?" she answered, very hesitantly.

"What?!" Tashigi gripped her shoulders, blue-black eyes brimming with a look of pity, anxiety, and concern that would be aimed at an abused child; it seemed a little strange at first glance, considering both women were exactly the same height. "You poor thing!" she exclaimed. "Are you all right?!"

"Um, yes."

"Oh, we'll get you a drink!" Tashigi grabbed her wrist and pulled her along. "Come with us! What's your name?"

"Um. I'm Vera." The girl looked torn, like she didn't quite have to heart to try and escape from Tashigi's forced goodwill. "Wait! I… uh!"

"Captain!" Smoker shouted. "What the hell are you _doing_?"

Tashigi turned a shaming gaze on her white-haired superior. "Sir, she's been chased by two of the most infamous pirates in the world today! She can't be just fine. Also, we don't have any leads to the Strawhats' location on the island, do we?"

"Are you suggesting we debrief a victim over drinks? What is this, a spring social?!"

"With all due respect, sir," Tashigi reasonably pointed out, "it's a good place to start."

Smoker breathed heavily through his nose. He didn't know about this. They had a lot of ground to cover, and that girl was so – well, mind provoking. Even now, he couldn't drag his gaze away from her doe-like eyes. Her vision was like a spell, a sickness. It was something… otherworldly.

Finally, he sighed. "What was your name, again?"

Those soft brown eyes looked at him. "Vera. Rosethorne Vera."

Smoker glared at her, then at Tashigi. "All right," the vice admiral gave in, marching indignantly past her. "One drink, we get some answers, and then she goes. Let's do this quickly, too. I don't know what it is… but something about this girl makes me uneasy."

"Sir, that's a bit rude!" Then Tashigi turned to Vera with a smile. "Come on, let's go!" she said, beckoning.

* * *

Vera blinked at her, then shrugged and followed the two Marines. "Okay. Why not?"

* * *

Sanji watched that lovely brown head vanish in the crowd. Anxiety hit him like a slap in the face – his hands tightened. _Vera-chan, no! Come back –!_

"Sanji…!"

Luffy wheezed through the cook's fingers. "You're suffocating me…!"

The cook jumped. "Oh, sorry."

He let up on Luffy's mouth. The rubber man gasped for breath, and immediately starting shouting. "Why was she calling us?" he yelled. "Is she in trouble?!"

"You idiot, she went with the Marines!"

"WHAAAAAT?! Why'd she do that?!"

Sanji wiped away blood from his upper lip. "I don't know," he replied, remembering Vera's puzzled expression. "But if you start rampaging around trying to find her, you'll break the agreement with that Kaiser guy and Mars-chan. We promised not to cause trouble here! I don't know about you, but I'd prefer to be friends with _those_ two.

"Then what am I supposed to do?!"

Sanji picked up the discarded monkey mask and snapped it over Luffy's face; the rubber man made a strange sound as the elastic snapped around his head. "Go find everyone else!" he told Luffy, who was trying to adjust his straw hat over the mask. "I would set off my flare, but…"

"There are too many Marines," Luffy finished, using a bit of his Observation Haki. "_Dang_, there are a lot! At least a thousand of them!"

He fixed Hat to his head with a satisfying slap. "What are you gonna do?"

Sanji looked at that rapidly closing space in the crowd. "I'll follow and wait for a chance to snatch her back," he replied. "From what I saw, they didn't seem to mean her any harm. Vera-chan will be fine."

Even under a mask, he could tell the captain didn't like it.

But Luffy nodded. "I trust you, Sanji."

"_**You're a lousy liar! And you're not fooling any of us, dammit! Not me, not Vera-chan, not anyone! Just tell me the shitty secret so we can all get on with our lives! What's wrong?"**_

_**Luffy bowed his head. "I can't tell you."**_

Sanji's mouth twisted bitterly. "Yeah, yeah. Just go!"

Luffy turned and ran the other direction. "HEEEEEEEEY!" he yelled to the skies at the top of his lungs. "ZORO! USOPP! NAMI! ROBIN! FRANKY! CHOPPER! BROOK! WHERE ARE YOOOOOOU?!"

_Boom_.

Sanji cringed as the rubber idiot crashed through a wall. Maybe that had been a mistake.

Well, nothing he could do about it now. With the stealth and speed of a ninja, Sanji slid like ink through water from the shadows of the mask vender's cart. He dashed – driven by terrible apprehension – towards the place where Vera had vanished from his sight. Despite his own words of comfort, the cook now felt a cold, trembling sensation pinch at his heartstrings. _Vera-chan,_ Sanji pleaded silently as he ran. _ I told him you would be fine. _

_Please don't make me a liar…_

**.oOo.**

The amphitheater was dark, and almost completely empty. Only the tiny, wavering light of a solitary candle lit the warm, fragrant shadows inside the massive structure, and only two people sat around it. Robin traced her tongue across the wet, round curve of a boot mint, watching it fascinatedly with half-lidded eyes as it dissolved into a white, sticky fluid wherever her saliva touched. The milky liquid vaporized in her mouth – shocking and piquing her. After losing count of how many of the delicious candies she'd consumed, Robin's senses were at such a level that she twitched with each lick. Trembled. Made long, moaning noises.

Hideki was trying to avert his eyes, without much success. "M-Maybe you should stop."

"But then you'd stop looking at me like _this_."

Robin slid her fingers over the tablecloth, reaching for Hideki's big, warm, powerful hands. Her blue eyes were dark and lustful. "And I–"

His hand twitched back from her fingers. "Nico-san," he warned her. "D-Don't do that. Please."

Robin ran her fizzling tongue over moist lips. Electricity was sparking through every square inch of her body. Carnal, adult thoughts were taking over, thoughts that normally would never voluntarily pass through her brain without a repressed blush and a silent reprimand. It was strange. Where was all this coming from…?

"_Ring ring ring ring ring_."

Both adults blinked. Hideki glanced down at his Transponder Snail, which had suddenly come to life – its eye stalks erect with purpose. "_Ring ring ring ring –_"

"_Ka-chak_."

Hideki raised the microphone to his lips. "Hello?"

A rough, familiar alto gasped from the other end. "_Captain…! Thank Oda, it finally got through_!"

"Mars?!"

Miles away, Mars bit back a scream as she pried a piece of her crumpled, bloody breastplate away. From the sheer mass of agony that pummeled her brain, most of her ribs were either hairline fractured or broken. Her femurs were strained, but whole, at least. The rest of her back and some of her other body parts were painted black, red, and blue with bruising and blood. Red streamed from cuts on her arms, cheeks, and left thigh, and a massive purple-green blotch was spreading across her forehead. Her emergency Transponder Snail hadn't fared much better than she – as it had been caught in Kizaru's wrath, too.

"Captain, Marines have broken through the south entrance. An army of them! I know neither of us have the best Observation Haki, but you have at least a thousand strong headed into the festival."

Mars tugged at a particularly shredded gauntlet. Pain pierced her again as something snagged. "Kuh! Ahhnn… _mm_!"

She gripped it again, and braced herself. "None. Of them are –"

The woman ripped it off. A small chunk of her forearm came with it. "_GOD_! _AH_!"

Mars hissed, then reached into her pack and ripped off a long bandage with her teeth. She began to wrap her arm with it, wincing. "Grunts…either!" she continued, voice tight with pain. "Hideki, they have an admiral with them. They're after the Gale Dancer."

"_What_?!"

Hideki pressed a hand to his eyes. "Mars. This isn't funny."

"_No, it's a follow-up to the G4 incident a month ago! They didn't know it was me when they attacked, but we're both held accountable for that incident, Captain. Neither of our bounties are something to ignore, either. They have to be after us, too."_

"G4? Bounties?"

Hideki glanced at Robin. He groaned and screwed his eyes shut, closing her out.

"Can you fight?" he asked the Transponder Snail.

Mars gritted her teeth.

There was another terrible noise of agony, then heavy breathing. "_Not to the best of my ability, but I can if I have to._"

Worry aged Hideki's handsome face thirty years; he would never ask her to fight in such a condition. "Where's the rest of the Guard?" he asked, sounding broken.

Mars peeled off the last piece of her ruined breastplate, wrapped her tattered torso in linen, and secured the binding. "_Ow… I told them to warn you, but if this is the first you've heard of all this, I'm guessing the G5 soldiers are hunting them down like rats. Ha! But rats hunt in packs. If they stick together like you trained us – which I'm sure they will – they will hold their own, no doubts._"

Hideki was still avoiding Robin's eyes. "Just a thousand. Right?"

"_Don't you get any ideas, Hideki! I know you could take them all at once, but with your techniques, you'd destroy the entire city! No. You need someone at your back._"

There was a sudden hiss of static.

When Mars's voice came back, it was fainter than before. "_Ugh, this Transponder Snail is dying. Ow. I'll see if I can find another one and contact the rest of the Guard. We'll meet you in the audio plaza!_

"_And don't forget! You need someone to help y–!"_

The Transponder Snail suddenly quivered, and slumped into unconsciousness.

Call dropped.

Hideki hung up. He buried his head in his hands. This was terrible. This was horrible! His Gale Dancer was alone in her safe house, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what would happen if even one two-cent G5 Marine stumbled upon it. And he couldn't protect her. He couldn't even protect his city! Either the Navy would destroy it intentionally, or he would by accident… with the colossal final attack that was both his sword-style's greatest achievement and its greatest drawback. His soldiers were scattered. His best commander – his _only_ commander – was out of action. But who would help him?

Who would help a wretch like him?

"Kaiser-san?"

Hideki blinked. And looked up at Devil Child Nico Robin.

A pirate. Fabulous.

He sighed. "...Nico-san?"

Robin gazed at him, interested. "Yes?"

"Nico-san. I'm a wanted criminal. With 325 million Berries on my head," said Kaiser Hideki, extremely bluntly. "I'm a liar, a thief, an adulterer, and a murderer. I've done things that I can't change now, no matter how much I want them to. But, I have a home on this island. I have friends. I have people who know me for what I became, not what I was. So please…"

The guard captain swallowed his pride – and years of his past – and bowed his head to her. "Will you help me save it?"

The archeologist interlaced her fingers.

She smiled. "Why not?"

Hideki's head snapped up. "Really?"

"Yes. But I _am_ a pirate, Kaiser-san," she told him, gazing sultrily up at him from under her lashes. "I won't do it for free."

Hideki gazed at her warily. "What do you want?"

Slowly, she rose from her chair, leaned over the table… and whispered it in his ear.

Hideki's eyes widened. Robin drew back, watching the emotions flit across his face in rapid succession. He was handsome, in a sharp, strong way. And his expressions were always so _intriguing_ to watch.

Suddenly with an unseen trigger, Hideki gave in.

He wearily abandoned his internal struggle. He let go of the present, the past, and the future. He looked up at her with a new kind of fire in his eyes.

"Ten minutes. No more."

The woman chuckled, that same fire pooling in her cheeks and lowest belly. She took his hand. This time, he didn't pull back. He followed her, as she led him into the deepest, darkest, warmest shadows of the amphitheater. But suddenly – as she was leading him away – Robin remembered something.

"_**They have a 'kick' to them, of course," Marsela had said that afternoon. "Also, if you eat more than one and aren't used to them, they become a potent aphrodisiac. So be careful, little bon-bon, and don't eat too many."**_

The archeologist smirked.

Perhaps it was that cold, buzzing energy flowing through her veins… but tonight, Robin was feeling the opposite of careful.

**.**

* * *

**A/N: DANG. O_o **

**It's the ice-cream girl at Loguetown all over again! What the heck is Sanji THINKING, sending **_**Luffy**_** to warn everybody?! I don't blame him, though. Vera might be in serious trouble here, not to mention Mars, Hideki, and the rest of the Strawhats!**

**As for ****Robin**** and Hideki… I leave that up to your imagination. *winks evilly***


	13. Omatsuri Part III

**UGH! A major role in a Christmas play, trying to get high enough grades to exempt my exams, driving lessons, family drama, writer's block and a MASSIVE CHAPTER later… it's finally done. I worked my TAIL off to finish this chapter. Still, the other three will be easier. Dear God, I pray I'll be able to reach the timeskip by New Years!**

**Amen! Enjoy, mah ducklings.**

* * *

**Chapter 13:**

**Omatsuri**

"_**Part III – Under the Masks"**_

Brook raised his face to the wind. The night air seemed to have an electric charge as it blew up from the ocean, smelling of salt and ozone. It passed over his eye sockets, pulling at his black afro insistently; like a small child desperate to tell him something.

"Hmmm…" he mused. "Smells like trouble is brewing."

The skeleton fingered at his flare. "Perhaps I should –"

Then, he hesitated, and took his phalanges off the thin red cylinder. As had become his habit in tense situations, in his mind, Brook turned to the tiny star of ethereal power that pulsed gently in the deep recesses of his mind. It had been there ever since Vera-san had been thrown by Chopper. It quivered and rippled, pulsing serenely, secreting looping flares of excited light. Like a real living being. Brook sighed in relief; at least it was small now.

Unlike last night, in the galley.

"_**Awesome…!"**_

"_**I'm so jealous…" Sanji-san moaned, teething on a napkin in his anguish.**_

_**Brook just laughed. "Yohohohoho!" the skeleton chortled. He looked curiously at the trio of Vera-san, Usopp-san, and Luffy-san, all clustered around her iPod, their eyes sparkling with excitement – but none so brightly as Vera's. She, at least in Brook's sight, shone with the writhing, otherworldly lights that were her power. He sat a safe distance away, though. He was safe. "Who is this 'Sogeking,' if I may ask, Vera-sa –?" he began to ask.**_

_** Suddenly, Brook's eye sockets widened. **_

_**The lights were… **_**swelling**_**. **_

_**A moment ago, that ethereal illumination had been contained within the thin, delicate cell that was Vera. But now, tiny tendrils of power were sprouting up through every pore of Vera's skin… interlacing with each other and stretching out even as Brook watched, fortifying themselves into a great, squirming amoeba. That was still growing. **_

_**One of the tentacles lunged at Brook.**_

_**The Soul King yelped, jumping so hard he nearly fell off the bench. He scrambled backwards across the floor, in an attempt to get away from the fiery white organism as it stretched farther and farther out from the breached membrane of its prison, strangling Luffy and Usopp in starry cocoons of power. There was a slight flash – and both of them lit up like quavering stars. Satisfied, the sparkling wall engulfed them and reached out further to the rest of the Strawhats. They tongued at Sanji and caught inside him, spreading like wildfire through his mouth and eyes, knotting in his tissues and still-beating heart. They pierced the sleeping Nami's shoulder, interlacing with her nerves and muscles; whitewashing the skin of her torso. Robin chuckled at their sharpshooter and captain as her eye sockets were filled with blinding white ropes of the stuff, into her brain, through the tips of her hair. The furthest threads clung and grasped at Chopper's hooves, but the reindeer was sitting all the way down the table. It couldn't get a good grip on him… but everyone else was taken. **_

_**Transformed.**_

_**Franky raised an eyebrow at Brook. "What's wrong with you?" the cyborg asked as Vera's lights ignited inside him, lighting up his skull from the inside out. "You're shaking like a leaf!"**_

"_**A-Ah, so I am."**_

_** He couldn't **_**believe**_** no one else could see this! The light flung its threads at Chopper, frantic to get inside the oblivious little doctor. Still, he went right on sleeping. Brook fit his back into a corner, farthest away from the spreading fire. That was when he noticed; the star in his mind was swelling at the same rate as Vera-san's power.**_

**What in the –?!**

_**Suddenly, one of the brightest ropes drifted away – taking notice of Brook. It yanked viciously at the skeleton. Brook jumped and scrambled back. It yanked again. The light was still spreading. It brushed his face, leaving a trail of dark numbness. Brook felt fear rising up into his throat…!**_

"_**WAAAAAAAAAUGH!"**_

_**Suddenly, the net of celestial light collapsed in on itself. **_

_**Brook started – and looked back at Vera. She was yelling at Usopp and jabbing frantically at her iPod, but still she glowed. All her power had returned to her body, gently waving threads in its original state, as if nothing had happened.**_

_**The star in his mind was back to normal.**_

_**Brook sat there, jawbone agape. **_**What in the world…?**

Now, the star was the same size as it always was. Although dimmed by distance, sensations came out of it – so subtle that Brook would have to meditate for hours to identify a single sound or smell. But if he focused on it, he could detect its source, the star's insignificant signature homing in on her very existence like a dog on the trail of a fox. Vera-san. And normally – as abnormal as that sounded – that was the only source it acknowledged.

But now… well, there were _two_ sources.

"Yohoho, this is quite a conundrum!" Brook remarked to himself, scratching his afro with bony fingertips. Honestly, this whole new addition to his senses was disarming in itself – and now, just when he was getting used to one star, another showed up. And he had no earthly idea what it could be.

Finally, Brook sighed.

"I suppose there are many things about this connection to Vera-san that I will not understand,"he admitted to himself, starting off again. "After all –!"

_"She's with the Marines now."_

The skeleton stopped.

It was the voice of a woman. A deep, feminine alto whispering out from the second source, scattering a golden glow of calm notification through his mind… with a hint of wicked humor biting at its tail, like a spicy aftertaste. _"They don't want to hurt her," _it said. _"But please take yourself out of Nico-san as soon as you can… while still being polite. A troop of Marines are coming up Sake Row, and if you don't stop them there they might reach the audio plaza before their Admiral does."_

If he had a tongue, Brook would have swallowed it. "Marines? Wait, who –?"

_"Yes, I'm fine."_

"Who are you, if I may ask?!"

The source did not answer him. It sounded as if she was talking to someone else, and Brook was only hearing one side of the conversation. _"I'm very sorry for interrupting you…"_

There was a pause as the source's silent partner said one thing more. _"Okay, I'll stay where I am. Be careful, and good luck."_

"Wait, young lady! Who are –?!"

Brook trailed off as the golden glow faded from his awareness, and was as sure that the speaker was gone as if he had watched her leave. What in the _world_ had that been? A voice from the mysterious new star, with the same signature as Vera-san's… Another otherworlder? No, it wasn't quite the same. Now that Brook examined it closely, it wasn't the same at all. Against the bright white wall of the small, ethereal star – from which Vera's existence emanated like dappled sunbeams – the second source was a pale golden sunspot, radiating a warm, foreign energy.

_My, my! _

_It's almost like… a hybrid. _Brook leaned closer to it, curious as he attempted to analyze this entirely new spectrum of power. _Of our energy and…_

"How amazing this is!" the Soul King exclaimed aloud. Then, he rubbed his jawbone pensively. "But, who was that? A woman's voice? I feel like I should know this!"

Brook thought for a minute.

Then he shrugged. "Oh well!" He sat down right there, in the middle of the street, and assumed a meditative position.

"Maybe it will just… hit me."

"ORYYAAAAAAAA!"

Something smashed through a wall, trampled Brook, and kept running in the same direction. "WHERE ARE YOOOooo –?!"

The voice faded as it smashed through another wall.

Brook lay there, dusty, dirty, and injured.

"…_**?**_"

**…**

"– oooooOOOOOU?!"

_CRASH_.

The bartender gasped as a monkey-mask-wearing hooligan in a red yukata and battered straw hat smashed through the wall, ran around the room, and smashed his way out the other wall – completely missing both doors. A long, stunned silence followed from the other contributors; mostly men in their early twenties or thirties, getting away from their squalling babies and equally noisy new wives. One, however, did not fall into that category. He was new.

The green-haired man sitting at the bar slowly glanced back at the destruction.

_Was that Luffy?_ Zoro wondered.

The Santoryuu swordsman blinked, scrutinizing the settling debris for a minute longer. Then he rolled his neck, turning his head back to the bar with a grimace. _I hope they're insured_, he thought, downing another shot of rum.

Zoro swallowed, actually wincing as the liquor blazed down his throat.

"Good stuff," he complimented the bartender, setting it back on the scarred counter. The swordsman rolled his shoulders and neck, groaning slightly as his bruised and stinging joints ached in protest. "Keep it coming."

The older man glanced at him as he went to refill the shot glass. "Long day?"

Zoro flexed his tingling fingers. "Cyclone."

The bartender gave the swordsman a skeptical look. When it was apparent he wasn't joking, he just raised his eyebrows, sighed, and poured Zoro the rum. The marimo picked it up, swilling the liquor around a bit before he put it to his lips, tipping it back. He had to resist the urge to grit his teeth as the tendons in his neck fluttered in pain – seizing up as he did – and forced himself to swallow the fiery ethanol cocktail.

He set it down and grimaced. Even after the hot shower last night, Zoro had still woken to horrible stiffness and flashes of pain whenever he twisted his back the wrong way… along with a strange tingling at the tips of his fingers and toes.

_It's because you're not flexible._

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON _MY_ SIDE?!" Zoro bellowed at the pompous green-haired plushie that he had set on the counter, earning a strange look from the bartender. Little Roronoa had been riding in his haramaki all day – which surprisingly had not earned any suspicious looks from the stuffed doll's original owner. Zoro was glad for the break, at least, but he still wasn't happy about the slap on the bum he'd received. "You're the one stealing a person's face! Learn some humility!"

Little Roronoa scowled flatly at him. _Maybe if you were more flexible, Luffy would share his secret with you._

Zoro stiffened, igniting a starburst of pain between his shoulder blades.

Then he glared down at the bottom of his empty glass, and watched it disappear again under a waterfall of amber liquor. He was starting to figure it out, why he carried this doll wherever he went. He was using it as a crutch; to give voice to his doubts, without having to confess to himself that he acknowledged them.

_He seems to be awfully close to the chijo, _continued the doll, a spiteful tone entering its silent voice. _So does the rest of the crew, for that matter. Aren't you the only one who hasn't gotten used to that unnatural presence she has? _

_Maybe Luffy confided in her, and not his own first __**mate**__._

"No," Zoro said, downing another shot. "Why would I even think that? That's stupid. Luffy wouldn't confess something to a stranger that he wouldn't to his own nakama. He's not that kind of man."

_Well… maybe she knew __**already**__. She knows lots of things she shouldn't know about._

Like Kuina.

Zoro's fingers tightened unbidden around the shot glass, making it explode into a dozen crystal shards. He jumped and glanced down at the mess.

"Oh, damn," he cursed, starting to pick the glass out of his hand.

The bartender reached over cautiously, sweeping the larger chunks into his apron and dumping them into the trash can. "That cost something, ya know, buddy."

"Just put it on my tab. And get me a beer while you're at it, will you?"

Zoro worked a tiny splinter of glass out of his palm and flicked it away as the bartender grabbed a mug and went to the back to fill it with the smoky, hoppy brew he personally prided himself on. It was true, Zoro thought as he watched him go. The chijo _did_ know a lot of things she shouldn't; like his past. Hell, all of their pasts, from that stupid documentary of hers! And now that he thought about it… that documentary. They hadn't been able to see all of it. What if… what if, somewhere in all of that, there was the reason Luffy had been acting so strange lately?!

Little Roronoa stared straight ahead. _You could always ask her._

"Are you kidding?!" Zoro yelled at the doll, earning another strange look from the bartender as he set down the foaming mug of beer. "That filthy mutant _chijo_?! She'd _rape_ me or something!" He grabbed the beer and took a gulp.

The green-haired plushie seemed to glare intently at him. _Since Luffy won't tell you, she's the only option left to find out._

Zoro hesitated, fingers nervously jittering on the counter. "But…"

_If you don't, you're a dickless chicken._

"I am NOT a dickless chicken!" the marimo barked. The bartender had just stopped reacting by now. Zoro continued, raising his voice over the ding of a bell as a new group of people entered the bar. "Fine! Next time I see her, I'm demanding she tell me what she knows. So there!"

He tipped his head back, draining the last of his beer. The newcomers came up to the bar, stopping right beside the seated, green-haired swordsman.

"Welcome," the bartender greeted them. "What can I get you Marines?"

"Two waters," the tallest, silver-haired newcomer answered, examining the selection quickly. "And a White Angel for the girl."

Zoro froze. He knew that voice.

His cheeks still round with beer, the swordsman slowly turned to look at the speaker. He was in a Navy officer's uniform, trimmed with rough blue-green fur, and wore a long white jutte on his back. His friends were both women; one with glasses and blue-black hair, with a sword at her hip and a pale pink Marine captain's coat trimmed in soft white fur. The other was a… brunette, with long, curling hair and wandering brown eyes, in a gold-and-violet yukata. Zoro recognized them all.

Smoker and Tashigi, from Punk Hazard.

And the chijo.

Zoro nearly sprayed every last drop of beer out of his cheeks.

The bartender nodded, either ignoring or not seeing his nutty customer's face. "All right, have a seat."

Zoro stopped his, turned his face forward, and forced himself to swallow – eyes wide as teacup saucers as the Marines led the chijo over to a table to await their drinks. They hadn't seemed to have noticed him yet. Screw that, why was that mutant otherworlder _with_ them?! _It doesn't look like she's their hostage!_ Zoro's panicking brain scrambled desperately for answers. _So WHAT THE HELL –?!_

"Don't move, shitty marimo."

He stopped.

He looked to the side. A man sat straight and tall in the seat next to him, with shaggy blonde hair and the face of… a duck. Smoking a cigarette through the opening in his wide orange bill.

Zoro stared flatly at the guy. "Why is a _duck_ talking to me?"

Sanji gripped the edge of his mask and pulled it up on its rubber strap, revealing his curly brow, blue eyes, and familiar features. "It's me, you bastard!"

"Oh. In that case, put it back on. You look better that way."

"Shut the hell up!" the cook snarled. He snapped the mask back over his face and stole a glance at Vera-chan, sitting in a corner table, chatting with that smoky bastard. "And lower your voice!"

"What was that?!" Zoro snapped.

Sanji rooted in his pocket for a moment.

Then he pulled out a shark mask and offered it to Zoro. "Here, put this on. It'll be an improvement over that ugly mug of yours."

The swordsman swatted it out of his hands. "Like hell I'd wear that thing!" he whispered hotly.

"Is that her doll?"

"None of your business!" Zoro stuffed Little Roronoa back into his haramaki. "Why are the Marines here?! Why is the chijo with them? Why are you even _trying _to rescue her?!

"I don't know why the Marines are here, _Vera-chan_ is with them because they abducted her, and I want to rescue her for just that reason! And I can't _do_ that if your freakin' loud _mouth_ lets them know we're here first!"

Zoro glanced at her.

The chijo was smiling and laughing, chattering in English to the dumbstruck looks on Smoker and Tashigi's faces. When her drink arrived – a tall, cool white martini with lemons, coconut, and a tiny yellow umbrella – she simply nudged at the straw with a fingertip, smiled some more, and began to suck it down, making sounds of delight. Apparently, the White Angel was a tasty drink. "She doesn't _look_ like a hostage," Zoro commented.

Hearts popped into Sanji's eyes. "That's because unlike you," he swooned, "she is a fabulous actress~! I can hear the voice of her heart now, calling out 'Oh, Sanji-kun! My knight in shining armor! Please come rescue me from these uncaring brutes~!'"

Zoro snorted. "Yeah. She's a _great_ actress."

Sanji turned his livid duck-face towards him. "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?" he demanded.

The bartender brought Zoro a fresh beer. He picked up the cool, sweating mug and took a long draft before answering. "Ah," he sighed. Then he scowled at Sanji. "You honestly haven't noticed? Damn, you're slow."

"_I don't want to hear that from you_! What about Vera-chan?!"

Zoro picked up his beer. "I've been thinking and –"

"Oh, color me surprised!"

"WILL YOU STOP BEING A SMARTASS FOR ONE MINUTE AND LET ME _FINISH_?!"

Remembering silence with a start, he took a bracing swig of alcohol and sighed heavily, reasserting control over his emotions. Damn, he hated Sanji. "Like I was saying," he continued, still a bit pissed.

But as Sanji watched, Zoro's expression grew uncharacteristically somber as he went on. "Look, I don't know if you asked the captain about his recent – well, issues, but I did." The marimo gazed into his drink, feeling a trace of gloom as his eyes danced among its golden amber fizz. "And he wouldn't tell me."

"_**Everyone, just… be careful."**_

_**Luffy gazed at each one of them, a strange look in his eye. "Okay?" he pleaded. "I know some of you won't pull that flare even if you're dying. But please, just do it. I don't want to lose any of you."**_

_**Zoro had raised an eyebrow, along with the rest of the crew. This was **_**bizarre**_**…**_

"But then, when Luffy was warning us – to be _careful_ of all things, which is damn _weird_ for him – that chijo understood him. And she said something."

"_**It's okay! Baron Omatsuri isn't here."**_

"'Baron Omatsuri,' I think it was." Zoro aimed a glare at Sanji. "I know you really don't give a shit about my opinions –"

"That's for damn sure."

Somehow, he managed to control his urge to slice the shitty cook in half. "But I have a hunch on this one," said the swordsman, turning his eyes back towards Rosethorne Vera. Tashigi's head was on the table now, and appeared to be struggling with consciousness. Smoker looked like he needed something a heck of a lot stronger than water. Like a freaking baseball bat. "The way Luffy reacted… it was like he was trying to stop her from saying anything else.

"I think she knows. Why he's acting so weird."

The ero-cook was silent. Zoro didn't even look at him; he didn't need to, to know the dartbrow had been as baffled as he was.

Sanji scowled. It was true. He had suspected something, when Luffy took off with Vera-chan like that. It had been the reason why he followed them…

But _hell_ would freeze over before he'd compliment the marimo to his face!

So he adopted a dismissive expression. "Yeah, don't bust your brain too much, shitty swordsman. We all know you don't have the neurons to spare."

"_What did you just –?!_"

"Just shut up, and don't draw attention to yourself!" Sanji whispered angrily, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray. "I'm going to wait for an opportunity to snatch her back. Then leave it all to me! If you get involved, things are bound to go to shit."

He put the mask on the counter. "Seriously," he said, gazing at it pointedly. "Improvement."

With that, the ero-cook slithered under the bar and disappeared.

"W-Where do you think_ you're _going?!" Zoro demanded under his breath. He looked under the counter and all around. No trace of the shitty cook was to be seen. If not for the smoldering remains in the nearby ashtray, Zoro never would have known he was there.

"Where'd you go? _Hey_!"

* * *

Vera swallowed the last sip of her drink. "… And _that_ is how babies are made!"

She giggled at their expressions; completely stupidified. Everything was just so funny, and it was all made better by the pleasant, warm, fuzzy feeling that filled her belly. It was like she was floating on air. "I can't believe you thought I wouldn't know _that_, Tashigi-senchou!" she laughed. "Sorry if I was a little explicit, but what can I say? I'm naturally blunt! But seriously, I feel sorry for _my_ kids when they come asking about the birds and the bees! Ha ha!"

Abruptly, she smacked her lips and glanced at her empty glass. "Okay, which of you drank my drink? Oh, never mind. By the way, was that alcoholic? I'm a minor, you know!" "And I thought the Navy was the law!"

She began to giggle again. They stared at her.

* * *

_Bam_.

Completely overwhelmed, Tashigi's head just hit the table. Smoker rubbed his temples; his head felt like a pissed porcupine had decided to crawl in his ear and puncture every square inch of brain tissue he had, leaving it pulsing and inflamed.

"Captain!" he snarled to the dazed Tashigi, taking advantage of the break in Rosethorne Vera's chatter. She glanced about the bar, her cheeks slightly flushed with alcohol and smiling for no reason. "What the _hell_ do you have to say for yourself?!"

His captain's eyes still spun. "I-I didn't expect her to be a _foreigner_."

"Tashigi, we have only learned one thing from this girl, and that's that she is a ridiculous _lightweight_!"

* * *

Glancing around, Vera suddenly spotted a familiar back.

_Hey, it's Zoro!_

"I know that marimo head~!" she sang mischievously, suddenly feeling like quite the troll. Always obedient to such urges, she got out of her seat, pranced over to the bar, and began to pester him. "Marimo! Marimo!"

* * *

Zoro screwed his eyes tightly shut. _OH NO._

**…**

Smoker sighed and ran his hands through his hair, trying to ignore the girl as she fussed at a man seated at the bar, poking his sides and chattering. He was more than relieved that she had moved on to torturing someone other than himself… but he still couldn't tear his eyes away. The Logia had been attracted to women before. But this wasn't that. He could ignore that. He could not ignore this. It was so distracting, like his very soul had interlaced with Rosethorne's. But that couldn't be –!

"_Smoker-san…_"

But there was just –!

"SMOKER-SAN!"

The Logia jumped. Tashigi narrowed her eyes at her superior.

"Sir," she began cautiously. "I-If I may say so, it's not like you to be so… well, spacey! Are you all right?"

Smoker let out a breath, having to make a conscious effort to take his eyes off the bizarre girl. Suddenly, his headache dissipated, replaced by an alarming dizziness.

"_Tashigi…?_" he heard himself saying. "_What are we even doing here…?_"

**…**

"Marimo~!"

Zoro grit his teeth when the chijo poked him straight on one of his bruises, a huge, purple-black contusion the size of a potato on his ribs.

_Don't look at her, don't even acknowledge her, _the swordsman told himself. He sighed, letting his mind sink into a meditative state._ She does not exist. And no matter what she does, she cannot make me acknowledge her._

* * *

"Ooooooi…"

Vera straightened, pouting at the expressionless face of the marimo. "Hm!" she exclaimed, indignantly spinning on her heel. "He's ignoring me _again_! And no Sanji-kun to punish him this time… so…"

She tapped her smiling lips thoughtfully. "I'll have to get creative!"

Vera ran the tip of her warm, wet tongue over the shell of Zoro's ear.

* * *

"GAH!"

Zoro uttered a cry of complete and utter disgust and leapt off his seat, scrubbing frantically at his violated ear. "What is _WRONG_ WITH YOU?!" screamed the swordsman at the top of his lungs, bellowing at Vera's smirking face. "You don't just _lick_ someone's _ear_!"

Tashigi whirled. "What –?!"

Smoker's consciousness cleared instantaneously. For a hair-raising instant, the vice admiral was so disoriented by the reinstatement of his own senses that even with Observation Haki, he couldn't even locate the source of the noise. Then he spun. The Logia gripped his jutte, a furious gleam in his eye. "Roronoa!"

Zoro drew Shuusui. "AND ESPECIALLY _NOT_ _MINE_!" he roared.

The swordsman raised the black katana over his head.

* * *

Vera's expression changed from a smirk to that of sudden terror. _Oh, gosh, I think I crossed the line!_

* * *

She screamed.

The world flipped upside down. Smoker stumbled, blackness tearing at the edges of his vision.

* * *

Out of the corner of her eye, Vera noticed a streak of blonde hair as it flew through the doorway.

The next instant, she was being blown back by an explosive impact, her ears popping with the change in pressure as the air was pulverized by a massive shockwave of blade on Haki-enforced sole. The skin on her face went tight, and her ears suddenly felt like they'd been stuffed with cotton. Then, everything was silent. Vera waited for a long moment, then blinked.

… _Am I dead yet?_

She felt at her windblown, but unsliced head. _Guess not._

Feeling a curious case of déjà vu, Vera glanced up, curious as to what had saved her from Zoro's wrath.

* * *

"You_ bastard…!_"

"Sanji-kun!" Rosethorne exclaimed, jumping up happily. "Yay!"

Smoker blinked, staring at Roronoa Zoro and Black Foot Sanji – who was wearing a duck mask for some strange reason. The two Strawhats began to argue, seemingly over the girl behind them. Rosethorne smiled, clasping her hands behind her back as she waited for them to finish. "'Yay?'"Smoker repeated incredulously. "I thought she was being _chased_ by those pirates!"

"Sir!"

He glanced at Tashigi. "What?!"

She wore an expression of concern, hands fluttering helplessly at the vice admiral. "Are you all right?!" she demanded. "You just collapsed!"

Smoker stared. "Are you delusional, Captain? I didn't…!" Suddenly, the Logia blinked, realizing all at once he was indeed sprawled on the floor.

He quickly got to his feet. _What in the –?_

He looked at Rosethorne. _What –?!_

Then it clicked. The vice admiral of G5 snarled, kicking himself. "We've been duped," he snarled, drawing his weapon. Black Foot and the Pirate Hunter kept on arguing, but Rosethorne Vera's eyes went round at the sight of his long, deadly, snow-white jutte. She tugged at Black Foot's sleeve, trying to get his attention.

Smoker's cruel black eyes narrowed.

"She's not their victim," he told Tashigi. "She's their _nakama_."

Sanji glanced around at them.

"Shit." The Strawhat cook crouched down. "Get on, Vera-chwan~!"

The girl smiled and jumped onto his back. Sanji straightened, shifting his hands to get a better grip on her, and dashed across the room. "I told you you'd screw everything up!" he barked at Zoro as he passed. "But oh, _no_! You wouldn't listen to _me_!"

Zoro watched, still rubbing his ear as the ero-cook ran for the door. "Where are _you_ going?!"

Sanji glared back at him. "_I_ am taking Vera-chan to a safe place!" he snapped back. "And since you love swinging your swords around so much, shitty swordsman, YOU can take care of the Marines!"

"_Haaaaah_?"

Sanji blew a kiss to the Marine captain. "Lovely to see you again, Tashigi-chan~!" he chirped. She opened her mouth to utter a scalding rebuke, but the Strawhat cook was already gone – carrying his small but precious load.

"What are you STANDING THERE FOR?!" Smoker roared. He pointed lividly through the door. "GO!"

"Y-Yes, sir!"

Slightly terrified of her superior's rage, Tashigi saluted and drew her sword. She darted to the threshold… Then suddenly, the world flipped. Blackness crawled at her eyes. Her brain spun. She tasted _chocolate_, even though she hadn't had a candy bar in years.

The captain swayed, disoriented, and collapsed.

"TASHIGI!"

Smoker turned on Zoro, drawing his jutte threateningly. "What did you _do_?!"

Zoro grit his teeth, vision pulsing red. "You know what, bastard?" the Santoryuu swordsman snarled. He tied his black bandana around his head. "I have said 'I didn't do anything' too many damn times in the past couple days." He took off his yukata and tied it around his waist, leaving him clad in only pants and boots. "And I have just about had _enough_." He drew Kitsune and Wado, placing the white sword in his mouth. "If you want to fight me…

"_FIGHT ME_!"

He lunged at the Logia.

The pirate's ferocity was so unexpected, Smoker was nearly skewered by his first strike. The Marine recovered quickly, though, and brought his weapon back around in an attack that should have separated Roronoa's head from his shoulders. But the gleaming white handle of his weapon was stopped, creating a shockwave that blew the roof off the building.

Smoker's eyes widened. Zoro's narrowed. He had only used one sword to block the attack.

_What the hell? Where did that power come from?_

Smoker disengaged. "Soru!"

He moved around Roronoa at a speed only Strawhat would be able to follow, and moved in for another strike. He raised his jutte…

But then the pirate was below him.

"Three Hundred-Sixty Pound Cannon!"

Zoro unloaded a piledriver attack of green-white light straight into his opponent's chest, sending him hurtling into the starry night sky. Smoker coughed up a spatter of blood, seeing nothing but a whirl of black, gold, and blue. _I sensed that attack! _his scrambled brain insisted to his body. _ Why couldn't you avoid it?!_

Suddenly, Roronoa was above him. "Purgatory…!"

Smoker held his jutte in front of him and braced for impact.

"_ONIGIRI_!"

The three swords smashed into his block with an amount of force he never would have imagined, even from this opponent. He felt something crack in his chest as he flew towards the ground, body punching through the floor of the bar like it was made of sandalwood, not solid oak boards. Tashigi gaped. Smoker struggled, but his limbs wouldn't respond. _This has never happened before!_ _Not even in my cadet days! _the vice admiral thought desperately, Roronoa falling towards him for the kill. _Do the gods themselves favor his victory over me?!_

Zoro grinned at the distressed form below him. _I got him._

He raised his blade.

And twisted just the wrong way.

The burst of agony was so intense… Zoro experienced it with all five of his senses. He was blinded by an electric curtain of bursting red and white lights, deafened by his own throat-shredding scream of pain and a sound like a waterfall from under the surface. Ropes of scorching red flame sprouted from between his vertebrae, consuming his entire body in their hellish heat. He smelled the sharp, acrid scent of ozone, and tasted the flavor of his own blood; splattered over his tongue when his head hit the ground so hard he bit a chunk out of the inside of his cheek. It only lasted for a couple seconds… but to him, it felt like an eternity.

Finally, when his vision started to clear, Zoro found himself curled up in a fetal position.

Smoker stood over him.

Trembling in the effort to contain his cries, Zoro cast an eye around for his swords. Wado, Kitsune, and Shuusui were lying on the floor just a couple feet away from him. The marimo tried to grab them, but his hands felt like they were made of stone. His deadened fingers slapped the wooden floor over and over. Powerless. Useless.

Behind the vice admiral, Tashigi was getting up; still a bit wobbly in the knees, but able to stand without falling now. "Sir, we need to get after Black Foot and Rosethorne!"

But to her surprise, Smoker didn't move. He just stood there, gazing down at Roronoa's shaking form.

"…Sir!"

"I heard you, Tashigi."

The captain clamped her mouth shut. Smoker put away his jutte and began to walk towards the door. "Let's go."

"N-No…!" came a voice from behind.

Smoker paused in the doorway.

"W-We're not… finished here!" Zoro croaked through his abused vocal chords.

The Marine glared at him. The pirate glared back, a gleam of defiance among the unspeakable agony in his eyes.

"Smoker-san!" Tashigi insisted.

"All right, all right."

Smoker glanced back. "Make no mistake, Roronoa!" he told the worthy opponent, who was trembling in inexplicable pain on the ground. If he finished the Pirate Hunter like this, it wouldn't be a proper victory. He refused to do it. "We _will_ finish this. Only some other time. Right now, I have your captain to catch."

The Marines disappeared through the doorway. Zoro smacked his head on the floor. "_**SHIT**_!"

_What the hell am I going to DO?! _His mind flicked to the distress flare, tucked away in his haramaki, but he dismissed it just as quickly. _No, I don't need that, _the swordsman told himself. _I've gotten myself out of worse situations…!_

"_**I know some of you won't pull that flare even if you're dying."**_

Zoro cringed.

_**Luffy had looked specifically at him, his wide obsidian eyes more pleading than he'd ever seen them. "But please, just do it. I don't want to lose any of you."**_

… _Dammit._

He reached into his haramaki, searching for the flare. His trembling fingers had trouble locating it, but he finally managed to grip the thing and pull it out. He braced it on the ground, aiming it upwards; he fervently hoped the flare would be strong enough to break through the ceiling.

_Here goes nothing…! _Zoro thought.

He pulled it.

But just as he did, the swordsman's hand slipped.

The slim red cylinder was left a blackened, crumpled tube of burning, hollow plastic as a giant fireball exploded out of the tip, nearly searing Zoro's eyebrows off as it blazed past his face. Straight into the bar. Which was filled with bottles and kegs of highly flammable alcohol.

Zoro choked. _Oh –_

**…**

The explosion shook the ground a block away.

A far-off bell tolled ten o'clock as Sanji dashed through the crowds, avoiding the gaping and pointing pedestrians as best he could with a buzzed one-hundred-and-thirty pound girl clinging monkey-like on his back. Anxious and excited as she was, her power had spread through him quickly – she still wasn't _that_ heavy, but neither was she a feather to Sanji like she should have been.

Vera glanced back toward the rolling fireball. "Zoro be okay?" she asked. "Marimo. Fight… bad."

Sanji tried to focus on running; his agility wasn't as good as it usually was. "Don't worry about the shitty national treasure, Vera-chwan," he reassured her, rounding a corner and running for a couple more blocks. "He can take care of himself."

Finally, the blonde trotted to a halt, breathing a bit harder than usual. He shot a quick glance around – searching for any Navy blue or white in the surrounding crowd.

Seeing none, Sanji glanced back at her and smiled. "Looks like we're in the clear."

* * *

Vera smirked at him.

She pressed a hand against her alcohol-flushed cheek and gave the blonde a scolding look, her half-lidded, smoldering chocolate eyes reprimanding him sexily from under her lashes. "Naughty, naughty!" she exclaimed.

Sanji looked piqued by that alone, blue eye widening nervously at her. "E-Eh?" he responded, a slight quaver in his voice.

Vera raised an eyebrow suggestively at him.

So, slowly – so he could feel each movement in excruciating detail – she wrapped her arms tighter around his chest. In the same movement, she rubbed her breasts up against his back and raised her hips, tightening her knees so that she had trapped his slender hips between her legs. Sanji's hands stiffened as he realized he had just been touching her butt. She didn't allow him to touch it again. Instead, she ground gently against his lower spine and placed her lips next to his ear.

"Naughty…" she repeated huskily.

She blew in his ear.

* * *

Sanji turned white as a sheet and made a sound like a stuck pig. He hastily crouched so that Vera could get off, babbling unintelligible gibberish since all the blood in his head had just rushed to another part of his anatomy.

* * *

Vera snorted at his delayed reaction. "Yeah."

She squished her boobs teasingly against his back one more time before she got off. Sanji put a few feet between them and leaned against a stall, a hand pressed over his burning mouth and nose as he struggled to catch his breath.

The brunette giggled at him. "Aw, Sanji, you're such a goober!"

Suddenly, Vera was disturbed by a queer tickling sensation on her lower half. She glanced down. A trickle of crimson liquid was running down her leg. The wound on her hip – acquired from her mad dash through the woods with Luffy – was bleeding. _Well, that's just perfect!_ Vera thought, thoroughly exasperated.

She ran a finger up the tiny red stream, and stuck it in her mouth.

The coppery taste of her own blood blossomed on her tongue; her saliva glands went into hyperdrive. For some reason, Vera had always liked the taste of blood, although it had been made apparent that having a taste for the flavor was extremely disgusting to most "normal" people. If she had turned around, she would have seen Sanji getting an explosive nosebleed as she repeated the motion – cleaning her thigh with a second swipe.

* * *

Sanji clamped his hand down over his nose, attempting to stem the flow. He wasn't sure whether to feel disturbed, aroused, violated, or a combination of all three. No woman had ever done anything like that to him before! It was strange and… well, very _pleasant_. Feeling.

_I cannot believe _Luffy_ of all people was lucky enough to –!_

"_**And Vera wants to come with me!" Luffy glanced at Vera, pinned forcibly under him. "Right?"**_

Sanji lowered his hand, eyes glued on Vera as she ruffled her long, heavy hair. A good majority of her curls had been blown out of place in the shockwave of Zoro's katana, giving her previously glamorous locks a windblown, bedraggled appearance. Now, she pulled out the burnished copper pins and – after a moment of consideration – stuck them in her gleaming bronze obi. She unrolled a bronze hair elastic from her wrist, stuck it in her mouth, and proceeded to French-braid her tousled chocolate mane. _Now that I think about it, _Sanji realized, _the shitty marimo is right. I asked Luffy, too. And he didn't answer me, which means she _is_ the only other one who knows why the rubber bastard's acting so weird._

_But… _

The cook rubbed his chin thoughtfully. _But if I just come out and ask her like I did before, she might do the same thing Luffy did and avoid my questions._ _Ladies are far wilier than shitty rubber men, too; I have to approach this differently. I have to figure out some way to get her to tell me _all_ her secrets…_

Vera suddenly pulled a hair the wrong way.

"Mmmm…!" She trembled, biting her lip in pain as she slowly let up on it. The way her head was lifted, the way her teeth created a deep indentation on her soft, glossy mouth –!

Sanji's mind went in an unbidden direction.

His nose let out another short spray of red before he clamped down on it again. _Dammit! Focus! God, is this another one of your tests?!_ the ero-cook demanded, glancing heavenward. He hung his head, grinding his teeth in shame of his own weakness. _If so… this is the most grueling challenge to my abilities yet!_

_Nonetheless! _

Sanji jumped to his feet.

Vera blinked at him curiously. "Hm? Sanji-kun?"

The blonde raised a fist to the gleaming night sky, determination burning in his ocean sapphire eyes. _I'm fired up now! GOD, I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!_

* * *

"Vera-chan!"

Vera jumped. "H-Hai?" she answered.

Then, the blonde did something she did not expect.

He stood up.

But not in a simple, got-to-his-feet sort of way. Vera could practically hear his sexy saxophone theme playing as she watched it start in his shoulders – rippling chords of raw, coursing power, traveling through the defined muscles of his body, rolling through his pelvis and into those long, slim, indestructible legs. Slowly, Sanji rose up off the ground, somehow gliding closer to Vera as he did so. He straightened, and kept rising, and growing bigger and taller. Until Vera found herself chest to chest with him, their faces barely three inches apart.

Her eyes devoured him. Every bit of the five feet nine inches of this golden-haired, kickass anime bishonen.

_Daaaangiiiiiiit. _

She was nearly in tears, this guy was so hot. _Why can't he be _real_?_

"Watashi wa," Sanji hummed, gazing intensely down at her, "anata ni nanika shitai to omoimasu."

'_I want to…_ _something to you.'_ Vera's bleary mind translated without thinking, entranced by the taller man's beautiful, languid grace. Heck, she was distracted. That body, and those _legs_! Oh gosh, and that "something" could mean almost anything! I want to give something to you, I want to show something to you, I want to –!

Fangirl popped out of nowhere, practically drooling. _Oh, I'd look at __**anything**__ he wanted __**me**__ to see._

Vera resisted the urge to smack herself in the head. _Stoppit! _

She took a bracing breath. _As much as a naturally hopeless romantic – slash pervert – his character is, _she told herself, _Sanji would never take advantage of a girl without her permission! And I want to stay a virgin until my wedding night! Then I give myself permission to do anything and _everything_ I want. But until then, it's no. _

Inner Vange nodded in approval. _Very sensible._

_Not even with a mental projection. _Vera huffed in frustration. _ No matter how amazingly sexy I can make 'em._

Inner Vange facepalmed.

Vera took the hand Sanji offered. "Lead the way," she said. Still, she twisted her mouth at the Strawhat cook, letting him know she was trusting him here, and not to mess that up. He nodded, smiling; seeming to understand the meaning of her expression.

"Hai, mademoiselle."

_Hm?_

Suddenly, Sanji held a finger up to his lips. "Shikashi, sono zen ni…"

'_But, before that…'_

Vera's eyebrows shot up. But before she could say anything else, he smiled and pulled her after him, weaving through the crowd at a quick, but leisurely pace; slow enough for her to walk leisurely behind him, but fast enough so she had to actively watch where she was going. Vera's eyes narrowed, considering the back of his blonde head. There had been something in his eyes there for a moment – some kind of anticipation that had nothing to do with pervish intention. Seeing that, Vera was intrigued despite herself, and followed the Strawhat cook.

* * *

_"Ring ring ring ring."_

"Come on, come on, pick up!"

Tashigi pleaded with her Navy-distributed G5 Transponder Snail as she and Smoker tore through the emptying streets, deeper and deeper into the Wishing Flower Festival. The clock raced ahead, like the hands of a mischievous goddess had set it ahead. Midnight was in less than two hours, and they hadn't even found their primary target – the Gale Dancer – yet! If they hadn't stopped all this by then…!

"_Clack."_

Tashigi gasped. Someone had picked up! "Hello? Hello?!" she yelled.

Smoker snatched it away from her. "This is White Chase!" the vice admiral roared into the mouthpiece. "It's confirmed! The Strawhat Pirates _are_ _on_ _Kibo_ _Hana_ _Island_! It's also been confirmed that they _are_ associates with our native criminals! In addition, they're in company of a young woman named Rosethorne Vera! Around seventeen or eighteen, long, curly brown hair and brown eyes, in a violet yukata! Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro has been taken out of action for the time being, but the other Strawhats are yet to be located! HELLO?! Does anybody copy?!"

For a long moment, there was only a hiss of static.

Then…

"_Smokey! Captain-chan!_" sobbed the Transponder Snail. Sounds of battle punctuated its sobs – along with the resounding voices of a man and a woman over it all. "_We're on Sake Row, but we need help! Kaiser is here! And she is too, the Strawhat's – OH GOD, NO!"_

"_Mil Fluers!_"

"Who was that?!" Smoker demanded.

A dozen blocks away, a G5 soldier holding a transponder snail screamed as a massive pair of hands, bigger than the building he had been hiding behind, sprouted out of the ground behind a voluptuous, dark-haired woman in an icy kimono. "Gigantesco Mano!"

Robin smiled. "Slap!"

With the help of her Flower-Flower Devil Fruit powers, the Strawhat archeologist backslapped that tiny tattletale of a Marine right off the island and straight into the ocean with an impressive _sploosh_. His G5 Transponder Snail, however, was not so lucky; it lay on its side, barking against a wall in Smoker's voice as Robin uncrossed her arms and a man's footsteps trotted over to it. "_Did you say Kaiser is there?_" it demanded."_The Strawhat's what –?!_"

The tip of a sword slipped under the mouthpiece and flipped, neatly hanging up on the Vice Admiral of G5.

"Big hands," Hideki mused. "Nice."

The guard captain grinned at Robin. "That implying something?" he asked in good humor.

"Perhaps."

Hideki shook his head, chuckling even as he blocked the downswing of an attacking Marine, disarmed him, and knocked him out with a forepalm to the jugular – all in one precise, powerful movement. The Strawhat archeologist eyed him appreciatively. She was still a little out of breath from their own rigorous activities only minutes before. That man was skillful in more ways than one… even if he resfastened his belt faster than she might have liked, and abruptly announcing there was a troop of Marines coming up Sake Row that they had to take care of. He had also changed his clothes. Now, he left his arms bare - but for a pair of blue armored bracers to protect his forearms - in a sleeveless jerkin emblazoned with the Wishing Flower crest, with flexible leather boots and soft black leggings. He claimed it was better for movement and apparently, this new garb did the trick. There wasn't a mark on him yet.

Casually, Hideki confiscated the consciousness of his next challenger just as quickly. He killed no one. Robin hadn't even seen him draw blood yet. Just watching him, the older woman could tell he was holding back.

But still he dominated the battle zone, casually mowing his opponents down like daises – simply by striking sensitive bundles of nerves with his hands, knees, hilt, or the flat of his blade. His muscles flexed like a lion's in the flickering lamplight, his large, scarred hands wielding a long, golden-edged blade with blinding speed and precision.

Smirking, Hideki went for the legs of a man wielding a hammer as big as he was. "Nico-san. On your left."

Robin's flowered appendages dropped said Marine. "Please, I think we're past formalities," said she. "Call me Robin."

The giant collapsed.

Behind the limp form, Hideki shrugged. "Okay. Robin."

**…**

Dial tone.

"_Damn_!" Smoker swore.

He handed the Transponder Snail back to Tashigi. "What's wrong, Smoker-san?" his captain demanded, tucking it back into her coat. "What's going on?!"

"I think Kaiser and Nico Robin are collaborating to defeat our forces," Smoker replied. His legs dissolved into thick grey plumes; Tashigi's legs pumped harder, keeping apace with his flight. "They said Sake Row, right?" he growled. "I'm going to take care of them!"

"What do you want me to do, sir?!" Tashigi shouted as he rose higher off the ground.

"Find Admiral Kizaru and warn him!"

The woman, already a speck on the street below, saluted. "_Yes, sir…!_"

Smoker veered to the left, his wake marked with a thick trail of billowing smoke, cruised around a tall, stone, red-roofed building, and raced toward Sake Row. Small fires had broken out, glowing orange in the dark buildings that had their electricity cut. Live wires danced a deadly jig. Explosions echoed through the night, almost drowning out the cries and noises of struggle as his soldiers fought to progress against their formidable opponents. At top speed, Smoker dropped low – scraping his belt buckle on a rooftop – and landed, solid, on the street. Cracks spiderwebbed across the masonry.

Robin turned. "Hideki-san!" she called to a figure several yards down the street. "It seems we have company."

Hideki glanced up and saw Smoker. A dark look crossed his masculine features.

The vice admiral straightened, clasping his jutte with both hands. "You look taller on your wanted poster," Smoker growled. "Surrender now, Kaiser Hideki. In the name of justice."

Hideki smiled slightly, as if he'd heard something amusing.

"Justice…"

Kaiser began to shift, slowly, into a fighting position; Smoker tensed, preparing to go all out. He'd already underestimated one swordsman tonight, who he'd seen in battle before – wherever Roronoa's sudden power had emerged from. He didn't plan to do it again.

"Hunting down an innocent girl who's done nothing but good in her life. Your so-called _justice_," Kaiser continued, spreading his feet wider and holding his sword with a softer, more precise hand. "More like a dictatorship. Snuff out anything you can't understand. Or own. But that's how it works, isn't it? The victor knows justice. The loser is crazy.

"Come." Hideki beckoned Smoker. "We'll see whose 'justice' is real."

**…**

Booms echoed from below. A brightly shining comet gazed down at the ensuing battles from his eagle's eye-view over the festival. One of the bars had transformed into a roiling inferno, one of their targets had finally been found, and Vice Admiral Smoker was engaging in an intense battle with him – but the man was putting up a hell of a fight. Kaiser was glorious to watch, and Kizaru was almost tempted to take a break on his role as sentinel; maybe buy some takoyaki from a vender and sit back on that tall building nearby.

"Ahhh, but I can't do that… but I'm booored."

Kizaru glanced down at the plaza beneath him. Speakers were strung like maypole ribbons from the top of a simple thatched hut. There was a significant lack of people in it – apparently someone was evacuating the citizens. Well, he wasn't complaining; the admiral could see far better without all those pesky mobs. In fact, he could see something very interesting. Three somethings very interesting.

_Strawhats_.

Kizaru lazily spiraled down into the audio plaza. Maybe those pirates would be able to kill his boredom for a bit.

**…**

"Woo!"

Usopp held up a power fist as the last song ended. "Hey, Chopper, toss me one of those boot mints, will ya?"

"Sure!" The reindeer fished one of the little green balls out of its bowl on their improvised snack table and chucked it at the sniper. He, Usopp, and Franky had pooled their three thousand Berries and bought enough takoyaki, fried shrimp, and another unhealthies to last all night. The sniper had just recently discovered boot mints, and apparently found them exceptionally delicious.

Usopp caught it neatly in his palm. "Thanks, buddy!"

Franky let out a bark of laughter as the sniper unwrapped it, popped it in his mouth, and squealed like a little girl. "Ha ha! Super, aren't they?!" he said, sipping his cola. "Now that I think about it, you didn't taste them this afternoon, did you?"

Usopp shook his head happily, enjoying his temporary adrenaline high. "Nope! But damn, they're good!"

"How 'bout some real food now?"

"Hmmm, okay." The sharpshooter picked up a section of an okonomiyaki and took a big bite. "It's Chopper's turn!" he mumbled through his mouthful of bacon, crust, green onion, and fried egg. "Pick one!"

Chopper bounced in excitement. "My turn, my turn!"

"Go for it!"

The reindeer shifted to Heavy Point so he could reach the top of iPod Mod's head, and scrolled through Vera's songs with his massive fingertip. "Ah!" he exclaimed, finally pressing a bar. "This is a good one!"

"Idiot! You don't know if it's good or not, you can't read it!" Usopp laughed, spraying pizza.

Chopper rubbed his head sheepishly. "Ha ha, I guess not!"

They laughed together. Franky glanced at them both, shrugged, and joined in after a few seconds – but eventually, they all ran out of breath and sighed contentedly as one, settling in to enjoy the fast-tempoed song Chopper had chosen as their next selection; unbeknownst to them, "Move" by Thousand Foot Krutch.

Franky grinned at them. "My turn next."

Usopp and Chopper groaned. "But you always choose the same one! The one that keeps saying 'I'm sexy and I know it!'" they complained, mangling the English pronunciation.

"'You know it!'" Franky replied, his English only slightly better. "OW!"

The shipwright took a big gulp of cola… just as Admiral Kizaru landed right in front of their hut.

He spewed it all over Usopp.

"AH! WHAT THE HELL, FRAaaaah…" The sharpshooter's rebuttal withered in his throat as his eyes took in the very tall, very Marine Navy Admiral in a bright yellow suit and tinted sunglasses, staring down at him from over seven feet in the air.

Kizaru blinked.

"Hellooooo," he greeted them.

And raised his leg to launch a kick straight into their midst. Usopp screamed. Chopper covered his head. Franky sprung to his feet and then:

"GEAR SECOND! ARMAMENT! GOMU GOMU NO –!"

Kizaru began to turn. "Hmmm?"

A vulcanized black fist smashed into the admiral's jaw. Kizaru was sent flying across the audio plaza, crashing into an abandoned soup kiosk and its contents splattering all over him – as none other than Strawhat Luffy launched himself into the audio plaza, landing in a crouch before his nakama.

Kizaru sat up, rubbing his bruised jaw and smelling like miso.

"Well, well, Strawhat Luffy…" he mused. "Looks like the Vice Admiral and I should have swapped duties."

The rubber man's normally warm black eyes glared at the tall Marine, cold and sharp as obsidian. "Stay away from my nakama."

"_LUFFYYYYY_!" Chopper wailed, falling at the rubber man's feet. "Thank goodness you're here! Wait, why are you here?!"

"I was looking for _you_ guys!"

Usopp straightened, knees quavering like jelly. "Ha ha! I wasn't scared at all!"

Suddenly, Luffy turned back, his face becoming grave under the shadow of his hat. The Strawhats stared at their captain, as he slowly stood to face Kizaru. The admiral shook his long, lanky body clear of the rubble and straightened to his full height.

Luffy cracked his knuckles. "You guys find someplace safe," he told his three gaping crewmates. "This is _my_ fight."

Usopp, Chopper, and Franky didn't even argue. They hauled _tail_ out of that audio plaza.

Kizaru whistled and dusted off his shoes, appearing to ignore Luffy, even as the rubber man approached the ruined kiosk. His sandaled footfalls echoed endlessly around the empty stone courtyard. "Impressive punch," he admitted. "It's been a loooong time since I got hit in the face like that."

"You Marines took Vera away from me when I wasn't looking," Luffy stated neutrally, eyes covered by his infamous straw hat. "And I still owe you from the War of the Best."

Kizaru shifted his feet into an offensive position. "Then, I'd be happy to acknowledge you."

Luffy's eyes narrowed, dark and threatening. Wordlessly, he entered Second Gear and reinforced his arm with black Haki. Flames ignited along his arm, with a boom like a lion's roar… an echo of his dead brother's technique.

Luffy let out an earth-shaking cry of retribution. "RED HAWK!"

He lunged for Kizaru.

**…**

Meanwhile, a certain orange-haired navigator wandered the back streets of the festival. The livid clack of heels on stone bounced back to her off the narrow, graffiti-streaked walls, interweaving in an angry recipe with the soft mutterings of her stupidly bad luck. "Honestly!" Nami fumed. "I have been interrogating people for the past _three_ _hours_, and apparently, _no one knows_ where their own deity lives! What do I have to do, give 'em a lap dance?!"

She spotted a crumpled tin can on the ground and gave it a frustrated kick. The can pinged loudly as it struck the alley wall. Nami huffed. She didn't feel much better.

"Hey, did you hear?!"

_Hm?_ Nami listened closely; the voice of a man was coming over the wall. He sounded urgent. _Who's that?_

A second man responded to the first. "What?"

"It's been confirmed! The Strawhats are here!"

_What? _Nami's eyes widened, but she didn't dare make a sound. _The Navy is after us?_

The two men – most likely Marines – were joined by others. "We're on the lookout for them, too, as well as Kaiser, Deiter, and the Gale Dancer. Also, a girl in a violet yukata with long, curly brown hair! Apparently she's one of the Strawhat's nakama!"

_Hideki, Mars, and Vera too?!_

Nami backed slowly away from the wall. _Oh crap, this is bad!_ she thought. She anxiously fingered her thick black flare. _We need to get out of here… I'd set this off now, but it'll draw Marines like moths to flame! I gotta find somebody from our crew, tell them what's happening! I just hope I'm not too late, already! _

She took off running. _Everyone, please be safe…!_

* * *

Toing.

Vera plucked at the other three tines in her fork. Toing, toing, toing.

She smiled and placed the piece of silverware back on the napkin. She couldn't use chopsticks if her life depended on it, so she was at least glad for this little convenience. She had a friend back at her high school in Maine, who loved sushi and used chopsticks like he invented them; she still had a massive crush on the guy, but trying to spear a California roll on splinter-coated wooden spikes wasn't exactly ideal first-date behavior. Not that he would have ever asked her out. He was a clueless Narutard, after all.

_Whoa, whoa, WHOA! _Fangirl exclaimed. The pink-and-hormone side of her subconscious glared at Vera, disbelieving. _You're thinking about a stupid real-world guy when you have frickin' One Piece __**Sanji**__ in front of you?! Get your priorities straight, woman!_

Vera waved her away. _Yosh, yosh…_

Fangirl scowled and ducked back into her playroom as her host glanced around her. Along the same relative thinking – dates and all – Sanji had taken her to a casual restaurant. It certainly wasn't, like, McDonald's or anything like that; the interior was more like… a Japanese version of Olive Garden. But a _heck_ of a lot cooler! The whole place was a combination of wood and stone, and the tables were thick, warm, gleaming oak, solid despite what looked like decades of scars, bored knife-wielders, and polish. The fourth wall opened to the outside, blending with the sights, lights, and sounds of the festival. The whole place was lit with hundreds of torches and candles. Their fluttering golden glow reflected off the black water of a real, natural river – yes, a _river_! – that flowed in through a stone vein that neatly carved the room in half, then bubbled down into a natural spring on the opposite wall. A fully-grown bansai tree was growing out of it, covering the ceiling in its lush green leaves. If Vera reached up, she could touch one of the lowest branches. Now, she fingered its rough brown bark.

Vera grinned, marveling at how real it felt, comfortable with the atmosphere. A restaurant like this could easily be semiformal if it was empty – but with the coarse shouts of waiters to cooks, the loud, easy foreignese babble of the other customers, and the occasional squall of a baby or three-year-old brat, the otherworlder girl felt right at home.

_Still_, wondered she. _Why'd Sanji bring me here? Normally he's not so tactical with women as to take them out to dinner. Well, then again, no woman has ever really gave him a chance to do so! But that look he had… _

She glanced at him. Sanji tried to smile at her, but suddenly blinked, went bright red, and hid behind his menu.

_I think he might up to something._

Vera assumed a dramatic Thinker pose. _But what?_

* * *

_I'm having dinner with Vera-chwan! This is a dream come true!_

Sanji could hardly contain himself for happiness, his face blushing like a tomato and hands shaking in excitement… then he caught himself. _Oh, dammit! Focus, Sanji! _the cook reprimanded himself._ You're here to find out what's going on with your shitty rubber captain! Just break the ice with a little conversation… and don't mess this up!_

A waiter came over to their table. He had spiky black hair and cheery brown eyes behind glasses. "Welcome to the Bansai Bowl!" he greeted them. "My name is Kiyoshi, and I'll be your server tonight. May I take your order –?"

"Hello, Kiyoshi!" Vera chirped. "I'm Vera!"

The waiter glanced at her, a bit startled, then laughed awkwardly. "Um, hello to you too!"

Vera bounced happily in her seat and chattered English at Sanji. Kiyoshi blinked a couple times, then looked at the blonde for an explanation.

Sanji stammered. "Um, she's… not from around here." _Reeeeally not from around here._

"Oh, cool!" the waiter replied, seeming to take it in stride. "We don't get many foreigners around here. Where's she from?"

_Oh shit._

Sanji scrambled for a plausible lie and said the first place that came to his mind; where he himself had been born. "Um, North Blue?"

"Wow, that's long way! But…"

Kiyoshi cocked his head. "I didn't think they spoke a different language there." He craned back to call one of the other waiters: "Hey, Kenny! You came from North Blue! Do they speak a different language there?"

"Where'd you hear that?"

_Shit, shit, shit! _"Ahh, it's a very isolated island!" Sanji said hastily.

That caught Kiyoshi's attention. "Really? What's it called?"

Sanji stared at him flatly. He was honestly ready to get up and drop-kick this guy's prying ass out the door. Normally, he wouldn't hit a guy with glasses. But if this waiter didn't just _stop_ _talking_ –!

Gurpunrrblgurgle.

Sanji blinked. _What in the world was that?_

* * *

Vera flushed in embarrassment, hiding her face from the two guys while she silently cursed her very loud stomach. She had only had one shrimp and a couple bites of ice cream since – wait a minute – breakfast! She hadn't eaten a solid meal in almost twelve hours! _How could I not have realized that?!_ _I'm so _stupid_… GAH! And in public, too!_

* * *

Kiyoshi glanced at Vera just as Sanji did.

He barked a laugh. "Ha ha! I guess _somebody's_ hungry!"

"YOU IDIOT!" Sanji yelled at him. Kiyoshi yelped, nearly dropping his notepad in surprise. "A LADY WOULD NEVER DO THAT!" The cook straightened his back, tossing his golden fringe indignantly at the stunned waiter.

"Hmph! It was me!" he lied.

He peered through one eyes to see Vera – still blushing from embarrassment – smile gratefully at him. _I'll always protect your honor, Vera-chan, even if it means soiling my own! _Sanji vowed to that pink, pretty face. _ You can count on me~!_

Kiyoshi bowed hastily. "Oh, ah, my most humble apologies!" he stammered. "Please forgive me!"

"Don't mention it. I'll be ordering for us both." Sanji scanned the menu with an expert eye, blending the tastes and ingredients together to make each dish, and sampling them with his mind. Only a handful of chefs in the world could do what he was doing. But he was one of the best, after all, and in less than thirty seconds, he had selected the two all-around tastiest things on the menu. "The lady will have the fettuccini alfredo, with mixed vegetables and raspberry tea. I'll have a shrimp cocktail, light on the cloves, which will go nicely with a bottle of Vintage Winry 1890."

He handed their menus to the waiter, a slightly bored expression on his face.

"Hop to, bastard."

Kiyoshi actually saluted "Yes!" and ran to put the order in.

Sanji rubbed his forehead in a gesture of frustration. "Damn!" he swore quietly. "If I were running this place, I'd start off by firing the chatterboxes."

* * *

Vera didn't even bother to close her mouth.

"_Sugoi_, Sanji-kun!" she exclaimed, in total awe of the older man. The blonde started, glancing up surprisedly at her; she made a gesture like kowtowing. "I'm going to call you Sanji-_sensei _from now on! Su freakin' _goi_!"

* * *

"S-Sensei?!" Sanji stuttered, his face turning a flattered and aroused shade of scarlet. "Y-You want me to be… your _teacher_?"

* * *

Vera nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! Sanji-sensei… kinda has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Like 'Oda-kamisama!'"

"Oda-kamisama?"

"Hai!"

The blonde's brow furrowed, looking utterly stupefied. "Eto, nani o?"

Vera waved his question away. "Oh, it'd take too long to explain. Usopp knows! You could ask him if you _really_ wanted to know."

* * *

_Usopp?!_

* * *

"Well, maybe he wouldn't be able to tell you. After all, he was making all kinds of funny sounds like 'ba!' and 'na!' and…!"

* * *

'_Banana?!'_

Sanji felt a migraine coming on. _Oh, damn, now I know how everyone else feels –!_

* * *

"Shikashi…"

The beautiful, albeit confused man glanced up at her, wide-eyed. Vera shifted shyly in her seat. Her eyes – normally so open and bold – were now avoiding his own, and gazed demurely at the floor. The transformation was disarming and… well, not entirely unpleasant.

_Still…_

"I think the real reason I'm such a big fan of yours, is that, um."

Vera scolded herself internally, brain telling her disobedient brain to just spit it out. She always had a hard time telling people the real nice things about them; it was always easy to call them beautiful or handsome, and laugh if they don't like it or say "you're welcome" if they thanked you. But always in a playful tone. This girl never really liked to tell anyone the way she thought. People always drew away from her, or became _far_ too interested in her insights – like Vange, her mom, even her playful dad – when they were reminded that Vera was much smarter than what her childish, hormone-driven antics gave away. It was one of the reasons she wasn't looking forward to adulthood. In seven years, six months, and fifteen days, when she turned twenty five on January 13th, 2021, she would have no excuse to act like a child anymore! People would treat her for her excess of brains and looks… not the bubbly personality she loved to express.

And hide behind, admittedly.

Vera exhaled. "The real reason a _lot_ of girls are fans of yours, is that you have what they want in both a mate and a best friend," she confessed. "Courtesy, bravery, chivalry. Very funny…"

She raised her eyebrows at him. "And a great cook, of course!"

"Cooku?"

A funny light entered Sanji's eye.

"O-Of… course."

His English pronunciation was almost perfect.

"That hardly had an accent," Vera complimented him, her smile still a bit bittersweet. "You catch on fast."

Sanji beamed. His joy was so infectious; Vera found her lips curving upwards just watching the Strawhat cook blush and wiggle at her kind words – although she was sure he hadn't understood them all – and begin chattering away in Japanese to himself.

Vera finally laughed and smiled for real.

"And…"

Before she could reconsider her actions, the brunette reached over. She took Sanji's hand.

The cook went still.

Gently, Vera pulled his hand towards her, stretching his arm across the table. She turned his palm upwards, tracing her fingers delicately over it, simply marveling. His hand was that of a man's, without a doubt – big and warm, yet cool, gentle, and soft in the curve of his long, slender fingers. Vera leaned her head to the side. Sanji really did take care of his hands.

She pushed up the blue silk of his yukata, exposing the smooth, white skin of his forearm.

"It's a lot of what I want to be, too," she murmured. "Such talented hands…"

Instead of turning pinker, like she expected him to, Vera watched as Sanji's complexion slowly faded back to its normal color. He gazed at her as she spoke – so intent on her words, she felt like he could almost understand what she was trying to say.

Smiling contentedly, Vera spread her fingers over his wrist. "To tell you the truth," the girl confessed, "aside from pancakes and mix hot cocoa, I'm pretty useless in the kitchen back home. I'm pretty terrible at cooking, actually!"

The anxious pulse of Sanji's blood pumped against her sensitive fingertips, speaking life and power through his fine blue veins. Warm, and vibrant, and real as anything. "So, what you can do is pretty sugoi to me…

"Sanji-sensei."

His expression changed.

Suddenly, the cook's hand shifted under hers. Surprised, Vera allowed him to return the favor – watching him with interest as he examined the slim fingers of her dominant right hand.

* * *

There was an old proverb that a man's hands explained his personality better than words.

Sanji hoped fervently it applied to ladies as it did to men, because Vera would not be able to express herself in words. And after all, if he was going to teach her cooking… he would be sharing his kitchen with her, along with so much more of what made him a chef. And not even a lovely lady could just walk in on that. He needed to know more about her.

"Um –!"

"Shhhh…"

Sanji ran the more sensitive pads of his fingertips over every inch of her hand; he needed silence. This wasn't a move. This was an interview.

He started where he was.

Her fingers weren't glamorous or manicured like Nami-san's, but her nails were long, healthy, and strong. _A sign of relaxed, tolerant nature,_ Sanji noted. _If her nails were short or chewed at she would be nervous enough to chew them or impatient enough to grow them long._

Her knuckles were smooth and unmarked.

_Not a fighter. If she was, she'd have scars, or calluses. That doesn't necessarily _mean_ she's not hard working! _

The muscle at the base of her thumb was thick, but most of the others were only developed to the most elementary state. _She does a lot of writing, or holding her hands up over a keyboard. Either intellectual, imaginative, or both. _However, her pinkie and ring finger were shapely and dexterous; simple writers didn't have those kind of muscles there. _Sign of an artist, from constantly turning and pressing around a pencil and paper. She's very skilled… or always wants perfection bad enough to take the time to do it. In which case, she's patient._

Finally, Sanji examined the inside of her arm, almost scared of what he would see. But to his relief, he found the skin there smooth; no scars, or pockmarks of a needle. _Never taken drugs, at least here, and has never cut herself either. It doesn't imply anything about her lifestyle, though; some kids have an easy ride through life and still think they have a shitty life. Still… it means she's smart enough not to try it._

He released her arm and leaned back. He lit a cigarette, drawing the calming smoke into his lungs as he completed Vera's hand-profile.

_Relaxed. Tolerant. Patient. Creative. Intelligent. Innocent._

Sanji smirked, blowing the smoke out through his nostrils. "Damn, I'm good."

* * *

Vera coughed, placing her right hand politely over her nose before extending her left one. She really hated the smell of cigarettes. "Did you want to take a look at this one, too?" she offered, snorting like a bull in an attempt to rid her nostrils of that nasty, acrid, nicotine smell.

* * *

Sanji glanced down at her non-dominant hand, and started at the sight of her index finger.

He leaned in close, eyes wide in concern.

"Vera-chan," he whispered, tracing the jagged, bleach white scar that marred the skin just above her first knuckle. "What is _that_ from?"

* * *

"Oh, this?" Vera asked, flaunting it like a young fiancée did her engagement ring. She always loved to talk about this scar. "When I was twelve, I was cutting up an apple with a Cutco knife! And you know how those things always get stuck _right_ in the middle of an apple, right? So I turned it a different way and jerked it, and that sucker came flying just the wrong way! The blade got stuck in the _bone_! Hurt like heck, and mom had to call 911, but I didn't shed a single tear even when they were sewing it back up! I even ripped the scab off a few times to make sure I got a scar."

Vera's eyes lit up. "Oh my gosh, you wanna see my crown jewel?!"

She extended her leg, tracing her finger across a dappled white streak on the inside of her right calf. The scar was faded, but almost six inches long and slightly raised yet. "I was fourteen and I went to this place called Fantasy Lake, yeah? And they had these – oh my gosh – maybe _fifty_ _foot_ rope swings that you could jump into the lake with! But… well, it was kind of embarrassing. It wasn't just one rope, it was a bunch of plastic and pulleys, and there were _instructions_ on how to ride it safely? But I didn't see the sign and just jumped on! My leg got tangled in one of the ropes, and halfway out something _yanks_, and suddenly I am _flying_ like a South Bird! Destroyed a bunch of nerves, too; I didn't even notice half the skin was ground off my calf until I got out of the water. I still can't feel a thing when I touch it."

She grinned up at Sanji. "Ha! Talk about a rope burn, right?"

He was staring at her, his gaze equal parts freaked-out and fascinated.

Vera blinked, then straightened.

She rubbed her finger with a slightly embarrassed smile. "Yeah, I get that look a lot," she admitted. "I know it's stupid and creepy of me to love scars but they all have a _story_, you know? Even if it was caused by a dumb mistake – heh, like not reading the instructions on a _rope_ swing – it's proof you've survived something. Something cool, in hindsight."

Then she remembered something. "Hey!"

"O-Oi!"

Sanji stared at Vera puzzedly as the girl grabbed at his hand again. "Nani?"

She only had to search for a second before she found it. She touched the short scar on Sanji's thumb. "You got this when cutting an apple, too!" she said, glancing mischievously up at him. "Looks like we have something in common."

Sanji stared at her for a long moment, looking awed… and slightly unnerved.

_Hm, well, I did read it on Wikipedia._ She looked down at his thumb again. _Maybe that wasn't right?_

Then, Sanji grinned and sat back.

"Hijō ni yoi," said the cook. "Wareware wa Sunny-go ni modottara, anata ni shiunten o ataerudeshou. Omedetōgozaimasu."

* * *

"Very good. When we get back to the Sunny, you've earned yourself a trial run. Congratulations."

Sanji took a draw on his cigarette, although now, he felt calm and warm as he'd ever been. He honestly had enjoyed himself the last time he had cooked with Vera-chan. He had been the helper then… but tomorrow, he would be the sensei! "We'll see how you do!"

* * *

Vera waved a hand in front of her face and coughed. "Eto… arigatou?"

Now, for a matter of minutes she had been hearing her iPod – for whatever reason it was over the loudspeakers – playing one of her faster songs, "Move" by Thousand Foot Krutch. Maybe the shuffle was getting around to her party playlist… but now the previous song ended, and a rippling spray of pale silver notes sang through the air. Vera gasped in delight as she recognized it immediately.

Her favorite Nightcore remix of all time…

"**Once Upon a December." **

"Oh…" she breathed, swaying back and forth to its beautiful, haunting melody. "I love this song…

"_Dancing bears,  
__Painted wings…  
__Things I al-most remem-mber~"_

Vera got up from her seat, singing along with the pure crystal soprano as she spun slowly through the open fourth wall. People parted for her like the Red Sea did for Moses – not completely sure why they did so. Sanji watched her, entranced.

Oblivious to her spreading power.

"_And a song  
__Some-one sings…  
__Once u-pon a Decem-mber~"_

* * *

Without any sort of apparent cause or warning, Hideki whirled towards the city center, the white showing all around his eyes.

Smoker seized advantage of the opening and let out a triumphant cry, plunging his jutte deep into the man's right pectoral. Hideki gasped at the unexpected pain.

"AH!"

"Hideki-san!" Robin shouted.

Smoker jiggled the hilt of his weapon. His opponent shivered involuntarily, stimulating his muscles and staining the end of the gleaming white jutte with his hot red blood. "I thought you'd be more skilled," smirked the Logia. "Leaving yourself wide open like that."

Hideki drew a shuddering breath.

He glanced down at the reddening spike protruding from his torso. Then back at Smoker.

A bestial expression took over his face.

"_Get_ _out_," he snarled. "OF MY _WAY_."

Smoker's eyes narrowed. "What did you just –?"

Before the Marine could even finish his sentence, the guard captain had coated his fist and legs in Armament Haki, punched Smoker in the nuts and the jugular, and dealt him a flying kick that even Sanji would have envied – sending him crashing through six buildings, to finally lay in a pile of rubble within the seventh. Which then collapsed on top of him.

**…**

Brook jumped as an angry red spark suddenly shocked his meditating brain. "Ouch!" the skeleton yelped, rubbing his skull as the crimson speck faded from his awareness. "What…?"

**…**

Robin gaped in amazement. "Hideki-san," she gasped in amazement. "That was – where are you going?" The guard captain was running off into one of the back streets that led back towards the city's central plaza.

"Hideki-san!"

She hesitated for a moment, then darted after him.

**…**

Suddenly, Brook started. "Oh my…!"

That unexpected red spark transformed into a fleeting memory. The star's power had suddenly popped, snapping and crackling as it increased in diameter and filled the Soul King's brain with rippling white waves of tranquil joy. He could hear music in the distance; the plucking, high keys of a piano and the background thrumming of delicate harp strings. Singing. He could hear singing. Ah, it was getting louder!

The skeleton jumped up. "W-Where's it coming from?"

He ran in the direction of the singing – vaguely aware he was heading towards one of the plazas, where the star's source was brightest.

"_Some-one holds me safe and warm…  
__Hor-ses prance through a sil-ver storm…  
_

* * *

"_Figures da-a-ancing gracefully~!"_

Vera reached the center of the wide stone courtyard. Somehow, she was completely unaware of all the people that watched her, that followed her every move with their eyes. They didn't even whisper, which was bizarre. They just _watched_.

She raised her arms towards the stars. "_A-cross my memory-y…"_

* * *

Sanji watched her, humming along with a song he'd never heard before in his life, his eyes glazed over with the sheer beauty of her dancing form. Her lovely white dress sparkled in the moonlight. Long and silken, with diamond jewelry and snow white gloves. Snow glittered and gleamed as it fell into her hair, melting and refreezing to form scintillating prisms that cast mirrors of the stars. And the way the people took partners, dancing in pairs through the fluttering snowflakes. It was all so beautiful…

_Hang on._

Sanji blinked. _This is a summer island, and it's a new moon! Why is there all this light and snow? _He looked closer at the gorgeous scene before him – but now, everything seemed all muzzy.

He blinked again. Hard.

When he opened them again, what Sanji saw made him gasp in shock.

Vera was still dancing and singing, but there was no snow. She was not dressed in white. And the dozens of people left in the square were not smiling, nor dancing in beautiful pairs, like the denizens of a winter paradise. They were moaning, slumped, heads lolling on their necks, drooling like zombies as they shuffling aimlessly and forgetfully around each other. Sanji watched, wide-eyed, as a small child gazed straight over him; their eyes didn't see what they looked upon. Some murmured words of the song. Occasionally a man would touch a woman at the hips, like one did when ballroom dancing… but he would always adopt a puzzled expression and move away. With the haunting, crystal notes of the music, the scene was horrific and eerie – a twisted, half-formed version of the one Sanji had seen before.

Suddenly, Kiyoshi came up behind the blonde cook, eyes focused on the food he was carrying. "Okay, that's a fettuccini alfredo and a shrimp cocktail and one bottle of Winry 1890 –"

He passed out.

Sanji moved to catch the waiter without thinking. "Whoa! Are you _okay_?!"

Black consumed his vision as well. The Strawhat cook swayed – dead to the world even as he stood – and folded to the ground like a wet piece of paper.

"_Some-one holds me safe and warm…  
__Hor-ses prance through a sil-ver storm…"  
__Figures da-a-ancing gracefully~!  
__A-cross my memory-y_…"

Around her, more people began to pass out.

"_Far a-way~!_  
_Long a-go~!_  
_Glow-ing dim as an em-ber~!_"

Footsteps entered the courtyard, obscured by the sound of moaning and falling bodies.

"_Things the heart  
__Used to know…  
__Things it yearns to rem-ember.  
__And the song…" _Vera hummed._ "Some-one si-ngs~!"_

There was only one person left standing.

"_Once u-pon a Dece-ember…_!"

The song came to a close, just as Hideki stopped behind her.

* * *

Someone tapped her on the shoulder.

Vera jumped almost a foot in the air, unintentionally doing a one-eighty turn as she did so. "GAH! Oh my…" she murmured. A strange man stood right behind her – at least six feet tall, with a ripped body, a nut brown buzzcut, and the most amazing eyes she had ever seen.

He bowed at the waist to her. "My name is Hideki Kaiser," said he. "Are you Vera Rosethorne?"

Vera blinked. She wasn't sure what to react to first; that the guy knew her name, that he had just spoken perfect English, or how hot he was while doing all of the above.

"Ahh, yeah."

Hideki straightened, his lips curving in a small smile. "I have someone who wants to meet you."

She stared at him like a dazzled carp.

* * *

Internally, Hideki breathed a sigh of relief.

_Finally. I found her._

The guard captain touched Vera Rosethorne's shoulder, drawing the entranced otherworlder after him into the deepest recesses of the city. _And now the Gale Dancer's prophecy about the Strawhats actually makes sense. Oda knows I was confused._

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Wow. It's so peaceful. Haunting. Mystifying…**

**Wait a minute! No it's not! Zoro's trapped in a burning tavern! Luffy is fighting Kizaru! Mee hee hee… I'm so evil. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking ever closer to midnight and everyone keeps getting themselves deeper and deeper into the yogurt! What's to become of the Wishing Flower Festival?! Will we ever meet the mysterious Gale Dancer?! And what's to become of our handsome waiter Kiyoshi (whom I borrowed temporarily from DCKiyoshi's fic _"The Cut of A Blade"_)?**

**Nami: *pissed* "Do you EVER shut up?!"  
****Robin: *polite* "What happens next, Author-san?"**

**Review, follow, and find out soon! =3**


	14. Omatsuri Part IV

**ONE WEEK UPDATE! YAY!**

**My goal was to be finished with the Wishing Flower Arc by New Year's Eve, but unfortunately I don't think that's gonna happen. But on the up side, t****his chappie's a doozy! And not just because I had major oral surgery yesterday, right before I posted it.**** Owwwwwwie! I'm actually in a lot of pain, and your reviews ease my discomfort. **

**So it might seem selfish... but please leave lots! =3**

**Enjoy, my ducklings!**

* * *

**Chapter 14:**

**Omatsuri**

"_**Part IV – The Gale Dancer"**_

In the distance, a bell tolled eleven times.

Nami wound through the backstreets of the city at Kibo Hana, long, curvaceous legs pumping as she dashed past stragglers and dodged the groups of Marines that accumulated on the corners. She skidded to a stop as she encountered another group, running in the other direction before they could see her. Around her, people had mixed reactions to the Marines. Some whispered to each other and stared, some held their children closer to them, and some just walked away. One person raced past Nami, yelling: "Hey, they're evacuating us to the amphitheater in the security plaza! Hurry up!"

"Oh my gosh, what happened here?!" another voice yelped.

"Did you _see_ that?"

Small clusters of people were crowding at the edge of a city square. Nami barely spared them a glance as she flew by… until she heard what was being said.

"Yeah," someone murmured. "Who was that girl?"

_Hm? Girl? _

Nami slowed down, listening closer to what they were saying. "You think she was one of those Devil-Fruit eaters?" someone else wondered aloud, nervousness audible in his voice. "All these people…"

The navigator walked over. She tapped the speaker on his shoulder. "Excuse me," she asked as he turned around. "This girl, what did she look like?"

He considered it. "Well… she had brown hair, brown eyes… she was really pretty!"

"Beauty mark? Violet yukata? A little unusual?"

"Uh, I guess."

_Yup, that's Vera! _"Excuse me, pardon me!" Nami announced. She began to work her way through the crowd, squeezing through little cracks and occasionally stepping on a foot. Yelps and shouts of protest went up from the onlookers as she pushed past them. "Can I get through here? Yeah, thanks."

Finally, she reached the edge of the mob and squeezed through into open space. Nami straightened her back, raising her eyes to examine the square.

She gasped.

Dozens of bodies lay scattered around the courtyard, limp and motionless as broken dolls. Some had collapsed against the buildings, chins on their chests and eyes devoid of light. Nami didn't see any blood, nor bruises, nor marks of any kind – but whether they were unconscious or dead, they all wore the same expression of dazed bewilderment, deadened eyes all fixed on the same spot in the center of the square. _What the hell happened here?!_

Suddenly, a spot of gold against the pavement caught Nami's eye. She looked, and gasped in horror at the sight of a familiar blonde head against the stones – lying in a very scary puddle of crimson liquid.

It was Sanji.

"SANJI-KUN!" she cried out.

The navigator rushed to Sanji's side. The blonde's dull, half-lidded eyes – like all the other bodies – were fixed on a point in the center of the courtyard, as if he'd been watching something before he had succumbed to the mysterious force that assaulted his body. His golden hair was stained red by the warm substance leaking across the stones; Nami could only assume it was blood. She fell to her knees beside his motionless form, frantically checking his pulse. It was faint, but it was steady. The navigator nearly started crying in relief. "Oh, thank god! He's alive!"

She gathered the unconscious cook into her arms, crying out for assistance. "Help! I need a doctor! Somebody! _Anybody!"_

"Navigator-san?"

"Nami-san!"

"Robin? Brook?" Nami turned to see two familiar, dark-haired figures enter the plaza, both from tiny backstreet openings between buildings and abandoned kiosks. The archeologist's and the skeleton's heads turned from side to side, eyes widening in shock as they saw the sheer number of unconscious bodies sprawled out over the massive stone courtyard. "Guys, something's wrong with Sanji!" Nami cried, cradling their cook's limp body. "Help me!"

Robin and Brook rushed over to kneel beside their unconscious nakama. Nami sniffed, trying to hold back tears as the archeologist moved her hands over Sanji, checking his pulse, temperature, and eyes.

Finally, Robin sat back. "Other than being unconscious, he seems to be all right," she concluded.

"B-But –! Then what's with all this blood?!"

Robin touched Sanji's wet hair, smelling her red-touched fingers. "This isn't blood, it's wine. A vintage Winry 1890, I believe. Cook-san is fine."

Nami sighed in relief. "Oh, good."

Robin looked at her. "Did you see what happened here?"

The navigator shook her head regretfully. "No…"

Brook glanced about. In his vision, the skeleton could see the last sparks of pale white, ethereal power, fading from the air around the plaza. "If I might make a guess," he murmured as he watched them slowly fizzle out of existence, "I think Vera-san might have caused this."

The women stared at him.

"T-There's no way!" Nami exclaimed. "Vera has a weird power, but she couldn't do something of _this_ magnitude!"

Robin nodded grimly. "Navigator-san is right. Rosethorne-san has to touch people extensively to spread her power to them. She couldn't have possibly touched all these people at once, and even if she had, even then it shouldn't knock her victims unconscious."

Brook shook his head.

"No. I witnessed something last night in the galley, that makes me think otherwise," he confessed. "With my own eyes. If I had any! Yohoho!" The skeleton gazed at Robin and Nami. The women stared back at him, eyes wide with attentiveness. "You see," he said. "I have a theory that, if she becomes overexcited or emotional, Vera-san can affect people _without_ touching them. And apparently…"

He gestured at the bodies around them. "Her abilities can have a different effect then."

"Oh… _no_!" Nami gasped. "You mean, she might not have a limiting range?!"

Brook hung his head. "If she was angry or intense enough… no."

The navigator covered her mouth in shock.

"_**It's a power to raise hell." **_

Robin's eyes widened as the implications of that statement sunk in, remembering Hideki's words from the amphitheater. _**"Control is the word, isn't it?" **_he had said. _**"Whatever power it is, inhibitions block it." "More excited or emotional they get, the more power they possess in this world." "Only the powerful ones can control what happens." "I don't know what makes some different than others. But whatever it is… their powers alter this world to suit them. Most of the time they won't even realize they're doing it."**_

_A power to raise hell, indeed. _

Robin's mouth tightened into a grim line. _Erratic, involuntary, uncontrollable, and omnipotent. And Rosethorne-san doesn't even know she has it. _

"If that's true, we might be in danger here."

Robin looked up at them, her eyes deadly serious as she met the curious gazes of the navigator and skeleton. She had to say it. "And not just from the Marines. From Rosethorne-san."

There was a long, painful silence.

Then, Nami gently transferred Sanji's head to Robin's lap. She stood, rummaging in her obi; the archeologist and the skeleton gazed at her curiously as she pulled out her red flare. Nami leaned back from the head of the cylinder, aimed it to the sky, and pulled the string.

_POW!_

The flare exploded from its prison with a deafening report. Nami quickly dropped the mess of hot, ruined plastic in her hand and shielded her eyes, watching the progress of the roiling ball of flame as it left a long tail of pale smoke behinds itself on its way towards the stars. About a hundred meters up, it burst into a firework. A flash followed, bright and fast as lightning. Then it was gone, scattering pale crimson sparks which were quickly extinguished and blown away by the wind.

Nami sat back down. "That should bring the others in," she said, the stress evident in her voice.

Robin smoothed Sanji's bangs away from his face and closed his eyes, leaving the blonde man with a peaceful expression. He could have been sleeping. "You do realize that the Marines will have seen it, too."

Nami's brow furrowed. "Yes."

**…**

Usopp stopped in the middle of the road, staring up at the sky. "Franky! Chopper!"

The shipwright and the doctor stared at the same spot among the stars, which tingled purple in their ruined night vision. They were all panting and overheated from running almost halfway across the city. "Was that a signal flare?" Chopper gasped, and looked at the other two.

Franky grit his teeth. "If it was, that means at least one of the others is in trouble!" he huffed. "It looks like it came from the next block."

They ran for the source of the flare. "Let's go!"

**…**

Zoro awoke to an inferno.

The bar was on fire, like a piece of hellscape. Flames licked up the walls. The air trembled with heat, darkened with guttural black flumes that pierced and ached in his lungs. The snap and crackle of burning wood met his ears, only overwhelmed by sheer roar of the flames. The ceiling, of course, was long gone – revealing a sky blue and studded with diamond stars, blissful and cool in comparison to the its bright, scorching roar. He felt like a man damned to look up at the peace of heaven while stuck, doomed, in the fiery pit.

Out of the corner of his eye, Zoro noticed a star brighter than the others.

The swordsman coughed, blinking ash out of his eye, and tried to sit up. _That's a signal flare. I gotta…_

He cried out, nearly passing out again. Even the slightest movement made intolerable waves of pain shoot from his spinal cord, causing his muscles to twitch involuntarily with the wasted electrical signals. It was an uncomfortable… and vulnerable sensation.

Zoro's vision flickered black around the edges. _No! Don't pass out again!_ he ordered himself.

The swordsman squinted at the burning walls through darkened eyes, feeling his body trying its hardest to keep a hold on consciousness. He looked down at his hand, grit his teeth, and tried to make a fist. Slowly, _excruciatingly_, his fingers curled inward.

Halfway there, Zoro stopped, panting for breath.

This was _bad_. His body was tough enough to withstand anything but a _mountain_ falling on him, but even he wasn't flame retardant.

So he decided to blame Sanji.

_That damn dartbrow! _the marimo roared in his mind. _ If he hadn't run off with that filthy mutant otherworlder bitch, this wouldn't have happened! I hope he's dead in a hole!_

_He's not the one who made you collapse._

The little bump in his haramaki piped up. _And we both know you didn't defeat Smoker on your own power._

Zoro growled. The plush prick was right.

When Smoker had turned on him, the swordsman had stepped forward to deny the charges – but as he did, he stepped right across where the chijo had been standing. A rippling pulse of power had infused him. He had heard himself returning the threats, felt himself drawing his swords and attacking with a strength and speed that were far from natural, felling a Marine Vice Admiral with so little effort it was almost comical. His movements weren't his own, though, and neither were his words. He had done it all without thinking twice about what exactly he was doing. Like something else had been controlling him.

And the rest, of course, was history.

Zoro scowled. _I don't know how_… he admitted with reluctance. _But it had to have been the chijo! Nothing this weird or painful ever happens to me unless she's involved!_

_You have no proof of that, _Little Roronoa pointed out.

"I DON'T CARE!" the big marimo roared, ignoring the spasm of agony his outburst ignited. "You know what, that's it! No matter what, I'm getting out of this! Then I'm gonna find that chijo and give her a _piece_ of my _mind_!"

He braced his weak, twitching hands against the log. The blazing overhang creaked threateningly over his head, shaking more ash into the swordsman's face. Zoro shook it out of his good eye. He sucked in a breath, braced himself, and –!

_**I am NOT gonna die here!**_

"_GrrrrRAAAAAAAH_!"

He shoved with every ion of strength he could muster.

Just as the building collapsed on top of him in a great explosion of flame.

**.oOo.**

A familiar voice called out from behind them: "Hey, guys!"

Nami, Robin, and Brook turned to look at Usopp, Chopper, and Franky as they rushed up to them. Immediately, the doctor and the shipwright doubled over, gasping for breath; the sniper went all-out, collapsing to the ground, the cool stones heaven on his hot, sweaty skin. "Phew!" Usopp panted. "Thank goodness we found you guys! You wouldn't believe what Luffy –"

Then, Usopp noticed Sanji unconscious and dripping with red, very scary-looking fluid.

"KYAAAA!" He bolted into an upright position, tongue flying. "HOLY SHIT! WHAT HAPPENED TO SANJI!"

Chopper looked at him a little funny. "What are you talking abou…"

The doctor glanced down. "GAH! SANJI! THERE'S BLOOD FREAKIN' _EVERYWHERE_! SOMEBODY CALL A DOCTOR!"

"_That's you_!" everyone yelled.

"Oh, right."

Chopper dropped to his knees to examine the cook; Robin transferred his head to the doctor's lap as she reassured him with a smile: "It's not blood, it's wine."

Usopp let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness! Damn, Robin, tell us these things earlier!"

The archeologist chuckled. "So sorry," she apologized. "Now, what were you saying about Captain-san?"

"Oh! Right!" As Chopper made his diagnosis, Usopp quickly told them about Kizaru ambushing the audio plaza, Luffy showing up to save them, and the rubber man's wish to fight the Navy Admiral alone.

"EEEEEEEH?!"

"There's an _Admiral_ here?!" Nami shrieked.

"Yohoho, this is bad, bad, very bad!" Brook yelped, running around in circles on his skeleton legs.

The skin around Robin's eyes tightened. "Captain-san will not be answering to flares anytime soon," she said to her nakama. They fell silent when she spoke to them. "We have to assume he will not answer to our flares at all."

"Don't say such a morbid thing!" Usopp yelped angrily.

The archeologist aimed a serious look at him. "I'm not just saying that, Long Nose-san. If Captain-san is fighting such a strong person right now, he might not have even seen the one Navigator-san just set off. In fact, I hope he didn't. In battle with an admiral, distractions could get Captain-san killed, or seriously injured."

"Damn…" Usopp swore quietly. She was right.

The Strawhats grew quiet again, the situation foreboding and heavy on their shoulders as a sack of iron scrap.

Suddenly, a quiet moan broke the silence.

Sanji stirred and opened his eyes. "Mmmmm –?"

Everyone gasped and leaned over the cook, shouting exclamations all at the same time. The cook's gaze wandered over them all, the stunning blue eye not hidden behind his hair was bleary and slightly unfocused. "SHUT UP!" Chopper yelled at the others.

They closed their mouths sheepishly; the reindeer put his face in front of Sanji's.

"Sanji, are you okay?!" Chopper demanded. He held up two fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?!"

Sanji blinked once.

Then, the cook reached up, touching the fur on Chopper's face with a loose, sloppy grin. "Nami-san, when did you dye your hair green?" he asked, eyes almost crossed. "It looks good on you~! Not like the shitty marimo… wait."

Everyone stared at him.

"It's just Chopper."

Sanji dropped his hand, head lolling on his neck. His vision blurred and spun as he raised his head to look at the other Strawhats, eyes crossing and uncrossing with the horrible dizziness that was made his vision flip and spin like some kind of carnival ride. He smacked his lips: _I taste chocolate_, the cook realized. _That's random._ "Ugh, someone stop the damn room, I wanna get off… hey, it's a shitty butterfly!"

He twitched his fingers at a very empty space of air. "Hellooo, shitty butterfly…"

His head flopped back into Chopper's lap, eyes spinning. "Ow. Okay, thanks for stopping the room, but will ya turn the lights back on?"

"Sanji," Chopper told him, "open your eyes."

The cook acquiesced. "Shit, and now the room is spinning again. Thanks for nothing, ya bastard…"

Chopper just stared at him for a moment.

Then he looked seriously up at the rest of the crew. "He appears to have a severe mental disorientation."

"_WE COULD HAVE SEEN THAT FOR OURSELVES_!"

Sanji let out an airy giggle. "You have a _face_."

"Well, at least everyone is accounted for, now." Usopp shot a cautious look at the loopy, chuckling blonde. "Sort of."

"Except for Rosethorne-san and Swordsman-san," Robin pointed out; suddenly, the beautiful woman paled as a dreadful thought occurred to her. "She was with Captain-san… what if she was caught up in the battle between him and the Navy Admiral?"

Franky shook his head frantically. "No, no! Damn, no. She wasn't with Luffy when he showed up."

"Then where could she be?"

Sanji piped up. "Oh, she's with me! She's right there…"

Everyone's eyes followed his finger as he pointed to the center of the plaza. To the point where all the eyes of the bodies were aimed.

"Oh, she's gone." Sanji dropped his finger, looking pouty. "She _was_ there."

Robin felt a chill run up her spine. _So Rosethorne-san is responsible for this, after all._ "So, we have no idea where she is."

Brook consulted the star within his mind. Having returned to its normal size once more, its light still pulsed – healthy and happy with an odd spike in estrogen. However, tracking it was difficult; he could only assume she was moving, unlike when the star swelled during the song. "I'm sure if Vera-san was in fear or pain, I would sense it," Soul King assured his nakama. "She's fine, wherever she is."

Nami made a mental note to ask him how he could sense Vera later. "Well, that just leaves Zoro, I guess!" she deduced. She glanced around at the crew. "Anyone seen him?"

Sanji raised his hand, inadvertently smacking Chopper's hat off. "I have, Nami-swan~!"

"We don't have time for your loopiness, Sanji-kun," the navigator replied, raising an eyebrow at the cook.

Chopper scrambled for his hat and fixed it back on his head, only to have it knocked off again when Sanji flailed his hand about.

"Nooo! Nami-swan, I really have seen the shitty swordsman!" he claimed. Chopper huffed and grabbed his hat again; he resisted the urge to strike Sanji, since the cook was mentally impaired at the moment. "Marines showed up. Then he was gonna hit Vera-chwan, so I stopped him and took her. A lady's safety takes precedence over an idiot marimo like him…"

"Wait, is he talking about Zoro-san or Marine-san now?" Brook murmured to Usopp.

The sharpshooter rolled his eyes. "Who knows?"

Sanji continued. "When we left, the shithead was fighting that smoky bastard from Punk Hazard! I bet they're still having at it, the –"

Robin blinked.

"No, he's not," she interrupted.

Everyone looked at her. It was rare for their archeologist to be so rude as to cut someone off.

"Eh?" Usopp asked. "What? Have _you_ seen Zoro?"

"No, unfortunately. But I have seen Smoker-san, only a few minutes ago. Hideki-san took care of him before…" Suddenly, she paused as something occurred to her. "…Before he came in this direction. I followed him here."

The archeologist glanced towards the square center, eyes narrowed pensively. _Could Hideki-san have –?_

There was a pause.

Then, Sanji's giggle interrupted her train of thought. "Robin-chwan, there's no way~!" he scoffed, but his eyes – which were finally starting to refocus – said differently. "The marimo would never let someone beat him, and he never runs away from a fight."

"I saw him, Cook-san, and Swordsman-san was _not_ in pursuit," the archeologist insisted. "I'm sure of it." The blonde stared at her, eyes wide.

Nami glanced incredulously at the others. "You don't suppose –?"

Sanji sat up, and swayed dangerously.

"Hey, Sanji!" Chopper warned, moving to catch him. Everyone watched nervously as the cook waved him off. Slowly, he braced a knee against the ground and stood up– swaying at such precarious angles it looked like a ninety-year old hag could send him sprawling with a breath. But he was upright, still.

"H-Hey, Sanji…" the little reindeer whispered. "Where are you going?"

Sanji took a step forward and fell over. Everyone exclaimed, their hands extending automatically to catch him – but the man caught himself on the edge of a cart. He shakily hauled himself back up. It was _painful_ to watch; he was just so unstable, so confused that his body wasn't obeying him.

"The bar where I left him, dumbass!" Sanji replied, turning his head weakly, trying to shake off the dizziness that so incapacitated his movement. "If anything happened to that shithead, it's my fault!"

He took another shaky step down the road.

Everyone gazed worriedly after his unstable form. Usopp looked at Chopper. "What do you think?" the sharpshooter asked.

The doctor hesitated. They all knew Sanji. "Well…"

"_THERE THEY ARE!_"

The Strawhats wheeled around just as a hoard of Marines entered the plaza, wielding guns and swords and hammers and mortars and who knew what else. The hulking soldier at their head pointed at the group of pirates. "The Strawhat Pirates! I told you they'd be here!"

He raised a hand. "Ready!"

The Strawhats found themselves staring down the throats of almost hundred muskets, the sound of their safeties clicking off like a forest of angry locusts.

"Shit!" Usopp yelped, wide-eyed.

Nami snatched up the pieces of her Sorcery Climatact and connected them. "Ready your weapons, men!" she cried to the crew, giving the finished weapon an experimental swing. The rest of the Strawhats pulled their weapons. "We're gonna have to fight our way through!"

"YES!"

The Marines triggers creaked. "Aim!"

Nami hunkered down. "Brace yourselves!"

Sanji cursed impressively and grabbed for a wall. Franky armed his missiles. Chopper shifted to Heavy Point. Usopp readied his Matured Black Kabuto. Robin raised her arms. Brook unsheathed Soul Solid, ready for the…

"FIRE!"

The Marines pulled their triggers.

And suddenly, everything stopped.

"…Huh?"

Brook glanced about, puzzled. "What is this?"

_You can hear me, can't you?_

Brook gasped, recognizing the voice from before as his mind suddenly erupted in golden haze, filling the recesses of his darkest consciousness with mysterious light of omnipresence. Every last secret of his existence was exposed to that revealing, intoxicating radiance. In the total completion – the presence of such power – the skeleton was almost afraid to answer.

"A-Are you talking to me now?" he asked to the skies.

A warm puff of amusement entered his awareness. _Yes. _

**…**

_Please excuse me, but I'm going to have to use you as a medium._

Far away, a small white hand passed over glittering, amberesque eyes. _Sorry. This is going to tickle._

**…**

In hindsight, "tickle" wasn't the word Brook would have used to describe it.

The speaker's presence compacted into a white-hot mass in the center of his mind. That was almost painful in itself… but then he heard an eerie sound; a combination of a hiss and rattle, like his skull was filled with a thousand tiny copper rattlesnakes, and then – in his sight – his vision was filled with a massive, blinding, golden flash. A horrible shriek accompanied it, akin to a teapot's angry whistle, as the power rushed from his bones. The light sprayed into the sky and burst into bloom. Stunning copper sparks rained down on the plaza like a flower's pollen, smoldering silver when they settled, coating everything in sight with beautiful, glittering permafrost.

But what happened next would make Brook have nightmares for evenings to come.

The sparks on the unconscious bodies suddenly flared a violent magma red… and the people began to rise. Angry red veins stood out from their skin, spreading up their necks and wrists like the lines of an infection. Their eyes glowed solid gold as they rushed the Marines with a speed that scared Brook. But their limbs twitched erratically, their footfalls too heavy to be natural – as if they were marionettes controlled by an amateur puppet master. As small as it was in comparison to the Marines own forces… a mob of twitching, golden-eyed creatures rising as if from the grave and coming after you at top speed was a sight to strike fear into anyone.

"What the hell?!" a soldier yelled. He fired on the mob.

_Ping_.

The bullet bounced off one of the animated citizen's heads. Its skull did not stretch. There was no mark. Just _ping_. The Strawhats and the Marines both gaped as the unscratched bullet rattled across the stones.

The next instant, the same creature opened its mouth and made a terrible retching noise.

In the back of its throat, Brook saw a gleam of metal.

It gurgled one last time… then vomited a dagger.

A _dagger_; at such velocity it flew through the air in a silver blur and buried itself hilt-deep in the offending Marine's side. The soldier screamed a curse and fell. The rest of the Marines cried out and – forgetting all about the Strawhats – turned their guns on these terrifying not-beings. A chorus of pinging met their efforts; bullets had as much effect on the rest as they had on the first one. As they fired, two new creatures came forward.

The first made another terrible gargling noise, and began to spew a stream of pale, yellowish liquid onto the Marines. Brook smelled it.

Gasoline.

Then, he heard the second creature click its teeth. He saw a spark.

"_Get down_!" the skeleton yelled.

He tackled his nakama. Nami started as she fell. "W-What the…?!"

"Nami-san, may I see your panties?"

She struck him. "_LIKE THIS IS THE TIME_!"

Brook perked up. "So, later?"

_**BOOM!**_ A rolling wall of scalding heat smacked them like a giant's fist, sending the eight pirates flying all the way across the square –smacking against walls, knocking over tables, chairs, and carts before skidding to a stop on the rough cobblestones. Usopp crashed into a trio of crash cans, causing a terrible din. The other Strawhats sat up, gazing wide-eyed back at the source of the explosion.

Marines were screaming, running in all directions, their uniforms, hair, and skin ablaze in roiling fire. The creatures advanced. They fell on the soldiers that tried to stop, drop, and roll – their fists rising and falling as one. Brook heard bones breaking, and screaming. The screams of the Navy officers as they were chased, caught, and attacked by the golden-eyed other-beings, one by one.

_Men fear things they don't understand._

Brook stiffened as the woman's golden voice verberated through his being.

**...**

_That was for my mother._

**...**

Then, just like before, it faded away.

Whoever… or whatever had caused this… was gone once again. Meanwhile, Usopp sat up from the trash cans. The sharpshooter looked to be on the verge of wetting himself. "No one can fight those things…!" he whimpered.

Nami gulped.

She looked back at the equally terrified Sanji. "Where was that bar again?"

He pointed down an alley. "That way, if I'm right!"

Everyone bolted down the dark passage, leaving their cook in the dust.

"Hey, shitheads!" Sanji bellowed. "Little help?!"

The blonde tried to get up again and fell flat on his face. Chopper doubled back, threw Sanji over a shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and ran to catch up with the others. "This is undignified, you idiot!" his burden complained.

"It's better than being left behind!" the reindeer retorted. "So shut up, you ungrateful bastard!"

"Which way now, Sanji-kun?" Nami called.

"Turn left, my beautiful Nami-swan~!"

Robin glanced back. "At least Cook-san seems to be back to normal," she commented, smiling as the wind blew long, black threads of her hair around her face.

The archeologist tried to chuckle, but the strain in her voice gave her away.

Nami grimaced worriedly. "I'd feel a lot safer if we had all three of the Monster Trio with us, and not just one who can't even walk yet," she replied, making a sharp left. "I just wish Zoro and Luffy were here."

_Wish…_

Seeing the archeologist's eyes widen in panic, Nami started as well. "What is it?" the navigator asked, watching the woman reach into her yukata. "Is something wrong?"

Anxious, Robin searched her garment, her pale, graceful fingertips searching for the reassuring texture of that soft, velvet bud. Then she felt it. Robin extracted the flower from her scarlet obi, touching its wide, silky, purple-black petals with a sigh of relief. For a few anxious seconds, she had feared it had been crushed.

She had completely forgotten about her _Dicota Volunta_… her Wishing Flower.

But now, it looked completely different. In the short amount of time since the Strawhats had received them, the beautiful blossom had undergone an incredible transformation; instead of the deep sapphire and pale amethyst hues that had contrasted to dazzlingly with its dark petals, only the underside – the outside – of those five velvety tongues retained their violet-black sheen. Now, like a vampire's throat, the flower's petals had been bleached snow white, palest lilac, and powder blue, its glittering golden nectar nestled in a center awash with a deep, violent blood red. As she watched, the crimson hue seemed to shift, draining even more color – more life from the blossom. And it might have been Robin's senses still playing tricks on her… but the lovely smell of books and fresh earth it had before was all but gone, overpowered by the fragrance of vanilla.

"_**Volunta is an annual flower. Each year at midnight tonight, the Wishing Flower completes the final transformation of its life cycle," Hideki had informed them. "When it does, you can make a wish on it, should you so choose."**_

The petals rustled against her fingers, as if wishing to close.

All of a sudden, it all just became too much. Who could make a wish for the future, when you didn't even know what was happening in the present? Gods, otherworlders, powers no one could understand… Robin had never felt so overwhelmed, so desperately groping in the dark for answers she might never discover. What _was_ happening? What was the purpose in all this? No one knew! So, who could even speak of the future without being a hypocrite? The Gale Dancer, with her mysterious blood and power of foresight? Or Rosethorne-san? Or Hideki-san? Or those _creatures_ back in the plaza? There was no one, not in this world.

But perhaps there was in the next.

So, she clutched the flower to her chest in a fervent prayer. _Otherworlder-san, or King, or God, or whatever you are. Is it all you, or fate, or just chance that decides the future? Please… deliver us safely beyond this disaster. And if your will allows – as the future unfolds, show me the purpose of this night for our lives. Because…_

**.oOo.**

* * *

"I'm confused."

Hideki turned to look at her. "Hm? Why?"

Vera threw her arms up high, stretching luxuriously up towards the sky. The stars winked coldly down on her through the trees – silent, otherworldly watchers. The leaves on the trees rustled in a cool wind, carrying the scent only late-night winds carried on their backs, delivering the smell of sleeping vegetation and summer soil to Vera's nose. She blinked hard, still regaining her night vision; the dark wood was quite a transition from the lively chaos of the festival. This Hideki guy had taken her _way_ out of the city, along at least a dozen back streets, avoiding the occasional Marine (one of them had been on _fire_, what was _that_ about?) and slipping through a secret passageway in the high stone wall she and Luffy had vaulted on the way in to enter the woods. The moon was new, so he'd grabbed a lantern to light their way. Now, they were traveling along a beaten path, their footfalls the only sound in the entire world.

A squeak was solicited from her as the crick in Vera's back popped soundly; she sighed and lowered her arms. "_Mm_, that's better! Like I was saying," the brunette continued, rolling her shoulder, "if that festival is a birthday party, why haven't we seen the birthday girl yet?"

* * *

Hideki stared at this strange but sensual being, wondering if his English was failing him. The memories associated with her… _kind_ didn't help. Just _being_ around an otherworlder again was making him tense. His fingers itched around the lantern handle. He wished they were around his sword hilt. He would have felt a lot more secure.

"Birthday party?" he repeated in the same language, redirecting his eyes on the path. "Where'd you hear that?"

"Nami."

_Suppose it was the best that navigator could do with the language barrier. Can't even keep track of their own captain, I'm surprised the girl's survived _this_ long. Probably a couple days until Marines attack and she dies. Still, better sooner than later. If the Gale Dancer didn't want to see her…_

_I'd do it myself._

"Orange hair?" he asked, just because the otherworlder was expecting a response. "Big boobs?"

Vera barked a laugh. "Yeah, monstrous! Anyway, you know the birthday girl?"

Hideki nodded neutrally. "Yes."

He heard the interest in her voice. "Really?" she asked, almost tripping over a bush. "Woah! What's she like?"

Hideki's fist tightened, anger boiling in his stomach. This _thing_ had no business asking about the Gale Dancer like that. He didn't trust himself to speak to the creature without screaming, and that'd be sure to scare her – enticing her to run. Or inadvertently activate her powers on him, which would be far worse. But the tense silence was getting longer…

Then, he was saved from answering by the sight of Shizuka's shelter glimmering in the distance. Its small, but warm light filtered through the trees, illuminated by countless candles blazed from within the shelter. Their flickering yellow light had been turned a peachy pink glow by the rose gossamer curtains draped around a graceful, wood-and-iron frame, casting blushing radiance over the thousands of _Volunta Dicota_ that covered the grass around them.

Out of the corner of his eye, Hideki saw again the dark patch of plucked stems, their blossoms withered and cast aside in the nearby underbrush. His goddess was his world. The one person he really loved. And when Hideki had found Strawhat Luffy picking the Wishing Flowers – so close to the Gale Dancer's haven – he had very nearly lopped his head off there and then. Looking back, in all this mess, the guard captain still wasn't entirely sure that sparing the pirate's life had been the best course of action.

But despite all of that… a small shadow, hazy and flickering, still moved inside.

Shizuka.

The sight of his goddess's figure calmed Hideki's raw, sore emotions. The guard captain inhaled and exhaled, tasting her presence, breathing it in like a fine wine… until finally, he had cooled his temper enough to speak.

"You'll see in a minute," he replied to Vera, touching the beautiful gossamer curtain. "You're about to meet her."

Hideki lifted it and went inside. "Stay here, please."

* * *

"Wait, what?"

But he was already gone. Vera blinked, watching his large shadow flicker and dance behind the thin, soft barrier. She opened her mouth, then closed it… then pressed her ear against the curtain.

* * *

"You've been busy."

* * *

The deep, mellifluous voice of a woman came floating through the air.

She heard Hideki chuckle. "Gomen, Shizuka-sama," he replied, his shadow crouching down. "Shikashi, watashi wa kanojo o mitsuketa."

"Hontou?"

One glorious moment of comprehension, and then back to mooshmush brain-disintegrating foreignese. Freaking_ fabulous_. Vera didn't need to hear the rest of a conversation she couldn't understand; she pushed away from the curtain and blew a frustrated raspberry, glancing about in boredom. What else was there to do out here…?

After a few seconds, Vera's eyes strayed down to the flowers at her feet.

She hunkered down in the grass and plucked one of the large blossoms, turning its soft, velvet shell in her hands as she examined it. The shape of it reminded her of a lily, but it was slightly smaller and broader than one – almost half again as large as her hand, petals colored a beautiful, deep purple on the outside, tinged with notes of black as they slimmed into a long, bright green stem. The inside was a surprising contrast, though. It was almost completely white, with all but invisible shades of pastel blue and lilac hue. If it weren't for the flower's splash of gold and red in the middle, the blossoms would have reminded her of mother-of-pearl seashells – her favorite kind. Vera raised it to her nose, inhaling its scent. It was a glorious fragrance… with hints of what reminded her brain of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, her mother's perfume, the amber musk of her father's aftershave, and the clean air that flowed down from the Alps in Maine. The fragrances of home.

Vera has suddenly overcome with another wave of homesickness. This One Piece delusion was cool and everything… but she wanted to wake up already! She wanted to see her house. She wanted her friends. She wanted to write her stories. She wanted to see the faces of her family – Mom, Dad, Vange, Eva – and give her stupid, lovable dog a hug he'd never forget!

The brunette swallowed the lump in her throat, but it just popped right back up. _I hate it when I'm miserable, but not enough to cry._

So, as she usually did when she was lonely, Vera just sucked it up.

_Quit feeling sorry for yourself! _she ordered that scared, self-abusive, little emo part of her personality – which, hopefully, would never manifest like her voices of common sense and frivolity did. _You're not crazy! You're Alice in Inception. Time may be weird, and you might be here for what feels like a long time! But eventually, you're gonna wake up from all this! You might have to go through rehab, if things went wrong… but after all this crap, you're gonna go home, you're gonna live, you're gonna see everyone again and you're gonna fall in love and have a happy ever after like a frickin' Disney princess! So suck it up! There are more important things in life than tears._

She stuck the flower in her hair, cleared her throat, and stood up, bravely brushing her butt off as she made a resolution. No matter what, she was going to get out of this. Then, she was going to find that middle-aged Japanese guy who filled that dome with crack and give him a piece of her mind!

She was **not** gonna die here.

Suddenly, Vera heard a whisper of cloth, and turned toward the source of the sound. Hideki was back. The man gave her a look of distaste.

Then he raised the curtain a little further, and beckoned her inside.

"Come in."

_Time to meet the birthday girl!_

Fangirl jittered with excitement. Vera looked at Inner Vange for confirmation; her voice of reason shrugged, indifferent, and waved her on.

So she took a bracing breath and ducked under the curtain.

And emerged in probably the coziest, warmest little hidey-hole she could have ever imagined. Like something out of the dream of a six-year-old Spanish princess, it was a small, but comfortable space, the floor hidden, piled with soft pillows and rose petals and layer upon layer of pink lace, red velvet, and plush, expensive-looking rugs. Countless candles lit the room with a pensive, flickering light. Their beams were enhanced and brightened by the fist-sized chunks of clear crystal that hung from a network of fine, thin golden strings that crisscrossed and wrapped around the framework; each one glowing like a miniature lantern in the light of the candles. Several of them hung over a small, polished table in the center of the room, the only place not covered by rugs, pillows, or toys. Three of the same flowers that grew outside sprouted in a pot on a miniature lattice. A small, but fine porcelain teapot sat beside the plants, and in the corner, beautiful china dolls had been carefully arranged. One – with shining black hair and glittering amber eyes – had been placed so that it gazed intently at the entrance… its eyes so bright and alive, Vera almost expected it to start talking.

_Weee!_ Fangirl swooped from her shoulder to wriggle into a pile of warm pillows. Her face popped out the top, smiling gleefully. _Birthday girl is living in the lap of luxury! I'm jealous!_

_But, where is she?_ Inner Vange wondered aloud, observing their surroundings very closely with her sharp, bespectacled chocolate eyes.

Vera took a look around for herself. _Huh! _

Like her big sis had pointed out, no one else seemed to be here. She glanced at Hideki. "Um… who was I going to meet?"

The man pointed. "Her."

A small rustling sound made Vera turn around… just in time to see one of the dolls _stand up_.

"My name is Shizuka Juneko." Out of the its tiny body came the voice of a fully grown woman, smiling at her with teeth like seed pearls. "Some call me Gale Dancer. Nice to meet you."

Vera's jaw popped open.

Shizuka wasn't a doll, or even a woman.

She was a _girl_. A human baby girl. And judging from her size, not even two years old – which explained why Vera had mistook her for one of the china dolls. Although, it hadn't been an entirely misled conclusion; she was as beautiful as one, with pure, perfect skin that shone white as snow and smoother than satin, and long, shining black hair that glowed in the candlelight. Her eyes, too, were like none Vera had ever seen. The biggest she'd ever seen on a child, her eyes were framed artfully with long black lashes and glittered like gems in flame, gold and copper and amber chips ablaze in deep, dark irises far too wise for their youth. She was dressed like royalty, in elegant robes of red-black silk embroidered with gold. Her feet were bare and unmarked, peeking out from underneath her long, regal garments. A crown of flowers adorned her shining black head, like the halo of an angel of nature… and it was all disarming enough, such finery on such a tiny young body.

But what freaked Vera out the most was that this girl wasn't even a toddler. She was a _baby_. Like, a baby baby. There was no possible she could have been standing by herself, let alone talking! Yet the baby child stood there with easy grace, speaking with all the vocabulary and diction of an experienced adult. Everything about her screamed unnatural. Unintended. More than just human. It unnerved Vera to a terrifying extent.

Fangirl exploded into pink powder and fluttered to the ground. _WHOOOOOAH! I did NOT see that one coming!_

Inner Vange just stared.

The candle flames fluttered in a sudden breeze of warm, summer night air. Still a bit shaken, Vera jumped, turning halfway around to see Hideki raise the rosy gossamer curtain to the outside once more. "W-Where are you going?" she demanded.

Hideki glanced back.

Vera blinked, slightly taken aback at the look in his eyes. Was he… _glaring_ at her?

* * *

Ignoring the otherworlder's question, the guard captain looked over her shoulder and nodded at the tiny form that was Shizuka. "Sorry I can't stay," he apologized, purposefully saying it in Japanese. "But I have things to take care of."

His goddess smiled. "Have fun."

* * *

Vera's hackles went up.

"Speak freakin' _English_!" she squeaked angrily. "You were speaking it _fine_ just a minute ago!"

But the cheeky prick seemed intent on ignoring her. He ducked under the curtain and back into the night, leaving Vera standing there with nothing but a bunch of pillows, seven dolls, and one baby toddler that was precocious and creepy as heck.

The brunette blinked again. She looked at Shizuka.

The unnatural child smiled at her.

Fangirl glanced between them, and slowly retracted her head back into the pillows. _Awkward…_

Vera scowled and crossed her arms. _Birthday girl, huh? _she thought vengefully, avoiding the baby's old, searching eyes. She really hated to be ignored. _I bet that guy was one of the psycho __**parents**__ Nami-neechan was talking about!_

"I apologize about him."

Vera's chocolate eyes flicked to Shizuka, watching the girl's eerie dexterity. "He's had bad… oh, what is word… experience?" she continued, picking her way around the pillows and rugs to sit at her tea table. Her English was rougher than Hideki's, and she had a noticeable Japanese brusque – which came as no surprise – but her diction was better than Vera's own. "Hai. Bad _experience_ with person of the other world."

She traced her miniature fingers over the china teapot. "Would you like drink?"

Vera hesitated.

Then she sat. "Is it tea?"

"Hot chocolate with milk," Shizuka answered. She poised the spout over Vera's cup, her tiny hands shaking slightly with the weight of the beverage inside. "Would you like?"

Fangirl perked up. _Chocolate?_ Smiling greedily, she floated over to the table and peered into the spout, sniffing. _Who would say no to that? It smells yummy!_

Vera's mouth twisted, still hesitant.

Then she sighed and grinned. Honestly, this kind of creepy precociousness was something her delightfully twisted mind would present her with! The form Shizuka took had just surprised her so much initially, she'd even forgot it was all in her head, that was all.

"All right." She poked her cup forward. "Hit me!"

Shizuka cocked her head. "Hit… you?"

Vera snorted. "Sure, I'll have a drink."

The child glanced down to pour the steaming, frothy brown liquid into Vera's cup, raising her eyebrows and widening her eyes in an extremely adolescent expression of relieved exasperation. Vera couldn't help but laugh; she been making the same expression more and more often lately, mostly when the Strawhats were speaking foreignese. But it was still strange, seeing such a teenager-like expression on such a youthful face.

Shizuka poured herself some hot chocolate and set down the pot. "It's so nice to finally meet you!" she said.

Vera glanced up curiously. No one in this delusion had claimed to know her personally before. The child reached out with her little hands, trying to gather the cup closer in order to blow on its steaming contents. Vera pushed it closer for her. "Arigatou. Ever since I foresaw your arrival, I wished I would have opportunity to talk with you."

The brunette tried to sip her hot chocolate and burned her tongue. _Ouch! Great, the gaki's a fortuneteller. _

"Look."

Shizuka glanced up; Vera smacked her lips, blowing on her drink. "You seem like a nice chibi hime," she said, using the words for _little_ and _princess_, "but why am I here in the first place?"

The Gale Dancer hesitated.

Her tiny hands folded around her cup. "If… I could _see_…" she began. "If I could see futures that concern people of other world, you would not be here. I would be able to see where they come from… what it is like.

"You see, my mother is from your world."

Vera's eyes narrowed confusedly. _My world?_

She rolled her eyes back at the ceiling. _Okay, am I on some kind of LSD __**thought-control **__experiment? _she thought at the whitecoats that were undoubtedly supervising the brain activity in her drugged-up, unconscious body.

Shizuka went on despite her guest's strange behavior. "When I was born, my uncle left me a journal for me to read when I am old enough, but…"

A sorrowful light entered her eyes. "I am not like other children."

The Gale Dancer looked up at Vera, her ancient, amberesque eyes wide and begging. "That is why I am very, very… what is word… curious? Curious about _where_ you come from. I only know what my uncle told me about my mother, and it is not enough. I want to know more. Please… can you tell me more?"

Fangirl was almost in tears by now. _Awwwww…_

Even if Shizuka was a figment of her imagination, Vera felt a surge of pity for this tiny baby. She knew she would never have been the person she was without her mom. Dads were your protectors and role models, and good dads were great… but good moms? Moms were your caretakers. They loved you, they were your shoulders to cry on. Vera never wanted to imagine a life growing up without her mom. She empathized with Shizuka. She couldn't sympathize, but she could empathize.

Vera smiled, feeling a little sadness in it. "What do you want to know, Shizuka-chan?"

The little girl's eyes lit up.

The questions poured forth like water from a broken dam. Was the sky a different color? Did the Marines there really wear camouflage? How many countries were there? What was the weather like? What were _planes_? What was a hamburger? Did Vera have a favorite food? Were there Devil Fruits where she came from? Islands? Pirates? Treasure? Fortunetellers?

Vera took sips of her hot chocolate – which had cooled enough her to detect the flavor – hot, creamy, and delicious. She answered each question as best she could, saying all she knew. After all, if she could talk about anything about right now, it was the place she wanted most desperately to return to.

_Dang, I'm homesick…_

* * *

**.oOo.**

"_Ring_ _ring_ _ring_– clack!"

Tashigi jumped on her Transponder Snail. "H-Hello? Who is it?!"

Sweat poured down her face and neck, she gasped for breath, and her legs burned with exertion as the woman captain ran down street after street, alley after alley, plaza through plaza. Smoker had ordered her to find Admiral Kizaru and tell him the news of a new Strawhat, but the glimmer man was positively _nowhere_ to be found! Tashigi was starting to wonder if she'd _ever_ find him.

And she was running out of time.

"HELLO?!"

"_C-Captain-chan_!" Surprise was evident in the voice of the soldier on the other line. "_You normally never sound so angry! What's_ _wrong_?"

"What's _wrong_?!" she demanded. "It's only twenty minutes until midnight, we haven't found a single trace of the Gale Dancer yet, and you're asking _me_ what's wrong? _Please_ tell me you called for a reason!"

The Marine scrambled to reply. "_Oh, ah, yes! That girl that Smokey told us about? I saw her!"_

Tashigi's eyes widened. "Where?!"

"_She was with Kaiser Hideki, heading towards the city limits!_" he replied._ "He seemed to be taking her somewhere!"_

The swordswoman's mind raced. If the islanders _were_ cooperating with Strawhat Luffy like she thought, Kaiser couldn't be taking the newcomer hostage – _And not if he wanted to stay sane_, she thought, thinking back on her own experience with Rosethorne Vera's loquacious and incomprehensible tendencies. She had to be going of her own will. And odds are, Kaiser wouldn't be leaving in the middle of a battleground to bring her just anywhere. He had to be taking her to see…!

"Thank you, soldier!" Tashigi yelled into the receiver. She approached the entrance to another plaza. "You've been a great –!"

"_**GOMU GOMU NO JET BAZOOKA!**_"

Tashigi cried out, shielding her eyes as a huge shockwave blasted her back – and of all people, Kizaru came flying past her, flipping to skid to a stop on his feet. The captain gasped. "Admiral?!"

Echoing, straw-sandaled footfalls made Tashigi glance back.

She gasped as none other than Strawhat Luffy emerged from the smoke. A terrifying look in his cold obsidian eyes, the infamous rookie's face streamed blood from gashes on his cheeks and forehead – marks from his tangle with Kizaru – and bizarre steam wafted off his glowing, crimson skin. Red dripped down his arms, off his brutally clenched fists. He was breathing harder than Tashigi; he'd been fighting a long time.

"Captain."

Tashigi glanced back as Kizaru stood, wiping a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. The Admiral was just as bad as Strawhat; bruises and lacerations marked a trail of abuse all across his long, lanky body, his bright yellow suit dusty and dirty with warm, red bloodstains spotting the fabric. "Get out of the way," her superior said.

Tashigi looked between them, gauging the situation. Strawhat had become a worthy opponent for Kizaru in the two years since Marineford, and even as horrible as both of them looked now, she knew from experience that – fueled by fury and adrenaline – these men still had hours of fight left in them, maybe even days. _But I don't have that long!_ she reminded herself.

So, she bucked up her courage.

She stood her ground, between a Navy Admiral and one of the strongest pirates of the age.

And saluted.

"Admiral Kizaru!" she announced, trying her best to keep her voice from trembling. "I am very sorry, but I have an urgent report to make!"

Luffy raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. "Hah?"

Kizaru looked flatly between her and Strawhat. "…Now? I'm a little busy at the moment."

Tashigi gulped. "It is very urgent!"

There was a moment of silence.

Then the Admiral sighed. "Very well," he acknowledged. "Go ahead."

Tashigi allowed herself a moment of relief. Then she continued: "The new member of the Strawhat Pirates, Rosethorne Vera, has been spotted in the company of the notorious outlaw Kaiser Hideki, worth 325 million Berries!"

Luffy's jaw dropped. "_HAAAAAH_?!"

The captain ignored him. "Sir, I believe he has taken her to meet the Gale Dancer."

"Where?"

"Somewhere on the outskirts of town."

Kizaru raised an eyebrow at her. "That's not very specific," said he.

"H-Hold on!" Strawhat Luffy demanded, glancing between them. "What are you talking about? Hideki's got a bounty? Why are you after this Gale Dancer person? And where the hell is Vera? Is she okay? You better tell me or –!"

Tashigi gazed pleadingly at Kizaru, fearing he would start to fight again. "Sir, this is the festival of the Wishing Flowers!" she cried. "Every man, woman, child, and pirate on this island has received that legendary flower! We have to capture the Gale Dancer before all those wishes are granted! We only have _fifteen_ _minutes_ to prevent the balance of the world from being thrown into chaos!"

Kizaru's expression grew grim.

He nodded. "Fine. Let's go."

The Admiral walked past her, and Tashigi exhaled in relief. If Kizaru was with her, they might actually pull this off!

Luffy stared after the backs of the retreating Marines. "HEY!" he bellowed, clenching his fists. "Where are you going?!"

He lunged after Kizaru. "I WAS TALKING TO –!"

Kizaru crouched, turned on his heel, and delivered a devastating blow to Strawhat's jaw. The red-clad pirate was sent flying far into the night sky. His scream of pain and protest faded into echoes as his figure completely disappeared from view, landing in an explosion of smoke and debris several miles across the city.

The Admiral straightened, casting his awareness in all directions. Then, deep in the hillside woods of Kibo Hana Island, a spark of golden, otherworldly energy met his senses. It was tiny, elusive, all but invisible; unless he was purposefully looking for it – and if it wasn't in such an abandoned area of the wilderness – he would not have sensed it.

He formed a mirror of light between his hands. "_Yata no Kagemi."_

Tashigi shielded her eyes from the blinding flash as Admiral Kizaru teleported himself into the sky and across the night. She had finally fund him, and he had finally found the Gale Dancer. _We might actually succeed in our mission!_

Then, Tashigi felt a twinge of worry in the back of her mind. _But… where could Smoker-san be?_

**…**

Shizuka touched the petals of the flowers in her crown.

The red in their throats had completely disappeared; the outside of the blossom had become a pale lilac now, and was rapidly approaching the pure snow-white of its final rigor mortis. But against the rest of the flower's pallor, its nectar glowed with a light like molten gold, shifting and shimmering impatiently at the impending hour of its climax, its final hour.

Midnight was nearly here.

"It's almost time…" she murmured to herself.

Shizuka rose from her seat and climbed up a mountain of pillows, checking the fluttering flames on a tier of candles. "Don't fall asleep yet, please."

* * *

Vera was resting her head in her arms; she was worn out by excitement and homesickness, and had been answering the questions of an unnaturally precocious baby child for almost forty minutes straight. It was needless to say she was tired. "Mmmm?" she murmured sleepily. "Wh'not?"

"You will be needed before this night is out."

Vera sat up, slapping her cheeks lightly as she tried to wake up. "Aw, come on! The Strawhats will keep things under control… well, in the relative since of the word."

Shizuka paused.

Then, she took a bracing breath.

"_A wish will be made in the time of the night  
__When pale blossoms glow and the time is right  
__To find her way home,  
__But still she will roam.  
__Sheltered by pirates and luck and lore  
__Pursued by three lovers and a promise of war  
__Days many have passed  
__Then the truth revealed at last  
__But the final decision she makes must be best  
__Before the red power takes  
__And all lay to rest."_

Shizuka looked at Vera, who gazed back with sleepy, oblivious brown eyes. "It is about you. And your pirate nakama."

The brunette yawned. "Well, that's really pretty and mysterious and crap, but technically I'm not a Strawhat yet," she replied. "It's not just being on a ship. Luffy would have to ask me, and honestly?"

Vera plopped her head back on her arms. "Honestly, I'm not sure if I would _say_ yes."

"Why?"

The baby child sounded puzzled. Vera sighed in exasperation and took her head off her arms: "Well, if I _said_ yes, my mentality would feel obligated to stay in this place to fulfill my role as their nakama!" she elaborated, impatient. "And who knows how long that would take. Mugiwara nakama _never_ _die_ and they _never leave _and they always get attached! Join the Strawhats and I'd become, like, Oda's Favored! I don't want to stay here for what feels like months, or years on end. I have my own dreams."

"What dreams?"

Vera smiled cheerfully at the girl. "I want to be the next Mel Gibson!" she replied.

She rested her cheek in her palm. "Obviously not his reputation, but he's a really good movie director! He directed Braveheart, The Passion of the Christ, What a Woman Really Wants, some of the biggest classics out there! He has some raunchy stuff too, yeah… but the point is that he has enough credit in the industry to write, produce, direct, _and_ star in his own movies! And we all know the film and television industry in America has gone down the toilet. Especially Disney! What were they freakin' thinking, spending FOUR _BILLION_ dollars that should have gone towards our national debt, not buying the rights to Star Wars and undoubtedly planning to screw over the best sci-fi series of all time?! You see, it's that kind of thinking that shows how desperate they really are! They need ideas, and new blood in that industry! I've been dreaming about it since I was a kid… and I know it's gonna be hard to get there! But I am going to become the _best_ person in the industry! Oh, I'm getting goosebumps just _thinking_ about it!"

But then she looked at Shizuka.

The child – the figment of her imagination – was just staring at her, with the blankest look she'd seen all night.

Vera let out a gusty sigh. "See?" she said, gesturing pointedly at her expression. "You have _no_ idea what I'm talking about. And that's just it! You're a supposed fortuneteller, so you get it! My dreams mean nothing here! I have no _future_ here! I can't even _speak_ _Japanese_! I –!"

A hot tear traced down her cheek.

Vera shut her mouth. She fell silent. Her heart was a cold, heavy lump of iron in her throat. Just feeling it, she could tell she wouldn't be able to swallow this one without busting out the waterworks. She ran her hands through her hair and took clear, shallow breaths. Making sure no more of her tears would fall.

"…Never mind."

She felt Shizuka's old amber eyes boring a hole in the side of her head.

The girl opened her mouth to say something…

Then suddenly, both girls jumped as one of the curtains was ripped from its frame. The candle flames guttered and whipped violently in the sudden gust – and all went out. A tall man's shadow filled the doorway with a foreboding mass. There was long silence in which Vera and Shizuka stared, hair flowing in the night breeze that permeated the darkened tent.

Zoro scowled.

"Machi… doko da?"

* * *

**.**

**A/N: Honey, I'm home! XD**

**So, we've finally met the Gale Dancer. I'd bet you didn't see that one coming either, did ya?! But now we're in dangerous territory! It's a Marimo VS Chijo and Kizaru is on the scent! And the rest of the Mugiwaras have been exposed to some pretty weird stuff this night… what are they going to think when they find a burned-down bar.**

**And no Zoro? O_o**


	15. Omatsuri Part V

**FRIDAY UPDATE! KYEEEEEE, I COULDN'T WAIT! ****You know I'm excited about a chappie when I can write over 10,000 words in 6 days! XD**

**Anyway. 'Tis a transitional to the climax so it **_**could**_** have been shorter, but I had to extend it. Hey, I was depressed this week, since I couldn't eat solid food cuz of my stitches. Ergo I had WAY too much time to get emotionally involved in juicy nosebleed prose… but there are important, epic, and heartstring-yanking occurrences in here as well! Seriously, I teared up quite a few times writing this.**

**When you get to them, you'll know what they are. Read on! X3**

* * *

**Chapter 15:**

**Omatsuri**

"_**Part V – Ashes to Ashes"**_

"Now take a right!"

Nami panted, her legs pumping along with the rest of her crewmates' as they rounded another tight turn. "Are you sure we're going the right direction, Sanji-kun?" she asked.

"Of course I am!" the cook replied, bouncing atop Chopper's broad shoulder. "We're almost… all right, we're here!"

Then they rounded the last corner and saw it.

The Strawhat Pirates came to a dead halt, staring in horror.

Sanji had led them to what had once been a bar… but now, it was razed to the ground. Where they had been expecting to meet their swordsman, a blackened, sodden, burned-out shell of a building met their eyes. The twin stories had been crushed to the ground, as if smashed by the careless sweep of a giant's hand, leaving only a smoldering skeleton of iron, glass, and boards; one could see the epicenter of an explosion, where shards of liquor bottles had been blown across the wreckage, blackened and warped by fiery tongues. Sewer pipes had burst in the heat. Some still worked, sending dying spouts of stinking, yellowish water pouring into the mud, like blood from a severed limb. But worst of all – in the middle of it all – there was a smeared outline of ash, approximately the size of a man.

Sanji gaped at the blackened silhouette, his brain refusing to acknowledge what his eyes where telling him. "N-No…!" he whispered. "That's impossible…!"

Nami's eyes burned with tears. "No…"

"ZORO!"

Robin covered her mouth, appalled. "Swordsman-san…!"

"You shitty marimo!" Usopp yelled. Tears streaming down his cheeks, he marched straight into the wreckage, uprooting debris in his search for their first mate. "This isn't _funny_! Get out here, dammit!"

Suddenly, the sharpshooter spotted something metallic, gleaming from under what remained of the bar.

Sobbing, Usopp pulled it out.

It was one of Zoro's swords.

The white one, that he always showed such specific care for… its blade now blackened and stained by clumps of soot. And God knew what else. A shifting sound came from behind him as Brook pulled two more out of the rubble.

"Where are you…?" he whimpered.

Usopp screamed into the sky. "WHERE ARE YOU, ZOROOOOO?!"

**…**

Frustrated, Zoro exhaled sharply. "I could have sworn the flare came up from over here!"

Suddenly, an unexpected coughing fit took him off guard, making the swordsman hack and double over in its intensity. It didn't even last for thirty seconds – but by the time he straightened, stars winked in his vision that had nothing to do with a clear nighttime sky.

"Damn, I inhaled a lot of toxins in that fire_._"

Zoro massaged his shoulder with tingling fingers, still feeling a little woozy; darkness flickered at the edges of his vision again. Echoes of the pain from before.

He leaned against the framework of the mysterious shelter he'd found, spitting a lump of charcoal-tasting bile into the grass. Zoro blinked rapidly, trying to clear away the fluttering purple smears that obscured his vision. He had seen this place in the distance and figured he would find the rest of the crew here. But thanks to those candles flaring up, his night vision was ruined and he couldn't see a thing now!

"So much for finding the chijo," he muttered to himself. "Now what am I gonna –?"

* * *

_It's the stray moss. Figures._

Vera sighed, rubbing her face. "Koko de nani o shite iru, midori oji-chan?" she asked the figure, the Japanese words flowing off her tongue without even thinking. She really wasn't in the mood for this; not now.

* * *

"What are you doing here, green grandpa?"

"Ch-chijo?!" Zoro yelped, nearly having an apoplexy when that dreaded voice came out of the darkness in front of him. The purple smears were starting to fade; now he saw the glitter of those evil chocolate wells, the soft gleam of her braided hair in the starlight. "What the _hell_!" _Scared me half to death…!_

The marimo grit his teeth. _Oh, screw that! I have a bone to pick with this bitch! _

"Well, now that I have you here…" Zoro propped his stinging hands on his hips, glaring daggers down at the chijo. "Don't you have something to _say_ to me?"

Vera rolled her eyes and turned her face away from him.

A tick mark exploded in Zoro's temple.

"DON'T YOU IGNORE ME!" the swordsman yelled, pointing an accusatory finger in her direction. "You're the one that violated _me_ back there!"

* * *

"I only apologize for things if I'm actually _sorry_," Vera hissed. Even in her own ears, the words sounded sharp, cold, and spiteful. "And I don't know what you're so pissed off about, but right now, I'm pretty sure I'm _not_."

* * *

"I nearly just got burned _alive_ because of you! I don't know what you're so pissed off about right now, but I demand an apology!"

* * *

Vera stood up, turned, and slapped him with all her strength.

Shizuka gasped. Zoro stiffened.

The brunette lowered her hand, feeling a cool indifference settle over her heart. "Why don't you just do the world a favor and get lost?" she said. "It shouldn't be hard for _you_."

Tears surged at her eyes again.

Vera placed the heels of her palms into her eyelids and pressed down until they hurt; white, aching flowers blossoming over a black curtain of sadness. "Just… _go_!" she murmured, struggling against the assaulting tears. "No one wants you here."

* * *

Zoro touched his cheek, baffled by her behavior. The blow hadn't hurt him so much as it had surprised him. But, well, he _had_ been expecting a reaction of some kind. Yelling, a lecherous gaze, a pervish slap, things like that. But not a blow like _that_ – filled with such genuine malice and hate. "Are you PMSing or something?!" he demanded. "What's _wrong_ with you?!"

"Shut up!"

Zoro growled.

"You got some nerve, telling _me_ to shut up!" he bellowed, grabbing her by the front of her yukata. "Say it again, and I swear I'll –!"

"S-Shut _up_!"

Zoro froze as he heard her breath hitch. She dropped her hands and glared with those piercing, vicious, golden brown eyes up into his furious emerald black ones, her eyes gleaming with an emotion he'd never seen in her before. It was terrifying, albeit not in the traditional sense – but like every man before him, it paralyzed him like a deer in headlights.

The chijo started to cry.

* * *

Vera released a dry sob. _Well shoot, now I'm crying…!_

She scrubbed at her cheeks, with some difficulty since Zoro still had a grip on the front of her yukata. _Augh, I HATE stupid girl hormones! Stop it, already, Vera! You're better than this!_

* * *

Zoro stared at her like a deer in headlights. "A-Are you _crying_?" he stammered.

* * *

"**YES, I'M CRYING**! Bakaaaaah…!"

* * *

The swordsman was so stunned at her unexpected ferocity, he didn't even resist when she grabbed the front of his soot-stained yukata in return and buried her face in his chest – feeling her slender frame send tremors through his body, racked with the force of her sobs.

The chijo slapped him. Now she was _hugging_ him.

Zoro didn't move a millimeter. He was too freaking scared. "Get her off!" he begged fervently of anyone who might be nearby, still completely paralyzed. "Get her off get her off get her off get her off get her off get her _off_…!"

"Roronoa Zoro."

The swordsman whirled at the sound of his name, only to flinch and shield his eyes as a small figure struck a match – Zoro blinked, feeling his pupils expand as the tiny creature began to relight the tiers of candles, spreading their radiance through the broken structure once more. As more candles were lit, Zoro saw more… and his eyes widened in disbelief as he finally discerned the mysterious speaker.

"I was hoping _you_ would be the first to arrive. I thought it was a hope against hope, with your sense of direction…"

It blew out the match and turned. "But here you are."

The tiny child chuckled, smiling at Zoro as if inviting him to share in the joke. Goosebumps coursed down the swordsman's back at the sight of her snow-white, bloodless face… glowing brighter than the candles with all the youth and infectiousness of the baby girl child she was, but twisted with all the wry humor, age, and bitterness of a fully-grown woman. Her body should have been flush with mother's milk, plump with being carried for all the few days she'd lived – but her muscles were developed to the point of a seven or eight-year old. Her eyes were eerie and ancient and overbright; almost reflective, irises set with glittering facets, like amber gems. But what unnerved Zoro the most… was her _hands_. Her fingers were impossibly tiny and dexterous, with fingernails small and bright as minnow scales. Like the hands of a great lady… shrunken to a grotesque size, and transplanted onto the wrists of this unnatural, malformed child.

Without thinking, Zoro pressed Vera against his chest, assuming a protective stance. "How do you know my name?" he demanded. "Who the hell are you? _What_ the hell are you?"

The child giggled, sending a chill down his spine. "Hee hee! You already have a hunch!"

She posed for him, another eerily precocious expression of wry amusement twisting her mouth. "I'll give you three guesses."

Zoro swallowed. He only needed one.

"Shizuka. The Gale Dancer."

"Bing bong!" The Gale Dancer pranced over to the swordsman; Zoro pressed Vera closer to his chest, extracting a squeak of protest from her significantly softer form.

"Ouch!"

* * *

Vera sniffed and whacked the marimo's chest, glaring up at him. "Oi, be gentle with me!"

The brunette started, taken by surprise when Zoro flinched and released an unexpected, pained noise. The swordsman shoved her away, chattering angrily away at her in Japanese.

* * *

Zoro grunted and winced at the unexpected assault of pain on his senses.

"The hell?!" he yelled, furiously pushing her away. He pressed a hand against his wound; the chijo's palm had slapped him right on top of his biggest burn. "Why would you do that?! _Damn_, that hurt!"

* * *

Vera propped her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows incredulously at his hunched form. "Geez, I didn't hit you that… hard…"

She blinked.

And glanced at her palm.

Vera gasped at the sight of the blood and ash that covered her skin. "Zoro, what the heck –?!" she yelped. She quickly crouched, trying to scrub her hand clean on the grass. "Geez, this is why you always get hurt the worst of all the Mugiwaras, because you never freakin' _say_ anything!"

"_Nanda_ _tou_?!" Zoro snarled.

"You never. Say. Anything!" Vera repeated herself, slapping the ground for emphasis. "If there's pain, _say_ something about it! Baka kenshi!"

* * *

"Now, now…"

A small, cool hand touched Zoro's shoulder. The swordsman stiffened, turning slowly to see the Gale Dancer – speaking in the chijo's language even as she examined his burns. He didn't want to move, but he didn't really want this unnatural being touching him, either.

Suddenly, Vera's mouth dropped as the tiny girl finished her statement. "WHAT?" she exclaimed.

Zoro flinched and glanced at the Gale Dancer. "What did you just tell her?"

"The truth," she replied. "You escaped a burning building by the skin of your teeth, so of course you would have burns. These need to be treated soon or they will get infected, Roronoa Zoro. Please come inside. I have first aid equipment."

The swordsman gaped at her. "What?! No way! You're way too creepy! And you're probably not even qualified!"

_He is a stubborn one_, Shizuka sighed internally. _I suppose I will have to resort to blackmail._

She leaned over, feeling the swordsman stiffen as she whispered quietly into his ear. "If these wounds are not covered within the next four minutes, there is a good chance you might die of infection for reasons I cannot disclose for the future's safety."

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Hah?"

"In the meantime, I can answer any question you have about your current circumstance. I can translate for Rosethorne Vera, too. I can relay all the statements and questions you want," she promised him. "Also, if you don't straighten soon, Rosethorne Vera will notice that small green-haired plushie in your stomach warmer and she'll be very likely to reach in and try to –"

* * *

Zoro nearly sprinted into the shelter.

The brunette looked on curiously. "What did you tell him?"

Shizuka giggled and followed the marimo into her three-sided tent. "The truth."

Vera hesitated for a moment… then shrugged and did the same. "I'm just surprised he hasn't noticed yet that all his sheaths are empty," she said, sitting at the table and pouring herself some more hot chocolate, taking a sip to ward off any leftover tears that might slip out. "Heh, I just hope no one else finds them before he does! It might cause a misunderstanding…"

**…**

The wind blew silently over the city of Kibo Hana. Its invisible grip came down, sweeping through the backstreets, picking up the ashes of a burned out bar and twisting them into a pale black dust devil – spinning about the heads of seven grief-stricken Strawhats. All under the impression that one of their nakama was dead.

Sanji chuckled, the acrid smell of smoldering wood and glass burning his nostrils. "It's all my fault," he realized aloud.

"Sanji-kun?" Nami whispered.

Franky stared at the cook for a moment, then jumped when he realized what had just been said. "O-Oi, Sanji!" he exclaimed. "Don't _say_ things like that! This wasn't any of our faults! R-right, everyone?"

The blonde just stared straight ahead, a slightly deranged look on his face. "No, you don't get it…" he murmured. "It's _all_ _my fault_. I told that idiot marimo to stay here. I told him it was his job to fight! It's all my fault! IT'S ALL MY DAMN FAULT!"

"_Stop it_!"

Sanji glanced over, wide-eyed. "Robin-chwan…?"

The archeologist stepped forward. "Cook-san, you may think this is your fault… but right now, we have another matter to attend to."

Everyone turned to look at her.

Robin hesitated, her expression that of grave sorrow. "Captain-san," she said with difficulty. "We have to tell him somehow, and… he surely will not take this news easily. We all know how he reacted when his brother died. " Everyone grimaced; they all had received the news of Luffy's rampage on Amazon Lily in the aftermath of the War of the Best. "We have to figure out a way to break it to him very gently, very slowly…"

Suddenly, at that moment, a sound reached their ears on the wings of the wind.

It was a familiar sound. One that they'd heard many times before – but now, it made their hearts sink in dreading anticipation.

_"…aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHH!_"

And none other than Monkey D. Luffy came hurtling out of the sky, bounced thrice, and landed with a great crash in the middle of the wreckage, sending up a big poof of rekindled embers and mushroom cloud.

The Strawhats stared at the spot. _No… not now. Not him._

There was a pause.

Then, Luffy's familiar figure broke out from under the ashy debris he had been buried under. He noisily gulped down breaths of fresh air, and ended up swallowing a few pounds of black dust as well. "Ahhhhh! Oh, gross! Ptooey! Blaugh!" After coughing and spitting for a few seconds, he looked down at himself and grinned, his smile blindingly white against his charcoal-stain face. "Ha ha, look how dirty I am!"

"L-Luffy…?" Nami's question came out a hoarse whisper as their captain fumbled his way free of the ashy debris. "W-What are you doing here?"

Luffy's expression grew soundly irritated. "I was fighting that Glimmer Glimmer Admiral, but then Captain Glasses showed up and dragged him off somewhere else!" he explained, trying to brush off his yukata as well as he could. "I tried to stop them, but the bastard didn't want to finish our fight, so he kicked me all the way here!

"But enough about me." He shook like a dog – casting off most of the remaining ash – and stared at his crew's sorrowful expressions. "What's with the long faces?" he asked bluntly. "Sheesh, who died?"

Chopper burst into tears. "_Zorooooo_mph!"

Two graceful white arms sprouted from the reindeer's neck, gently clamping the mourning animal's mouth shut; still, Chopper continued to cry. Nami buried her face in his fur, bursting into tears as well as Robin stepped forward – feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Captain-san," the woman began, her voice shaking. "T-There's no easy way to say this. But… Swordsman-san…"

"Hm? Zoro?"

Luffy's happy, oblivious expression became too much. Robin pressed a hand over her mouth. She couldn't say any more. It was too cruel. "Hey! What about Zoro?" Luffy pestered. "Hey, tell me –!"

Then, he spotted the swords in Usopp's grasp.

The blackened outline in the ash.

The captain blinked, long seconds passing as his stunned brain registered the images that reality had presented him.

Then, he glanced back up at his nakama.

"Ha ha, come on, everyone!" Luffy laughed. His mouth smiled, but his eyes did not. "This is a pretty lousy joke!" he told them. "Seriously, where's Zoro? Robin?"

The archeologist felt like her heart was being rent in two. She shook her head.

Luffy's smile grew smaller.

He turned to the next in line. "Sanji?"

The cook trembled. He didn't even look at him. He couldn't.

The rubber man's smile faded completely. "Chopper?" he demanded. "Nami? Franky? _Brook_? _Usopp_?!"

His voice grew more and more desperate with each name, waiting for someone to crack a smile, to say it was all just a sick joke. But none of them did. They all remained silent, or looked away, or shed silent tears.

Luffy backed away from his crew, disbelieving. "_No_… No, it's not true?!" He fell to his knees, fingers raking through the blackened ash – as if he could reach through the urn and bring back his first mate.

It was still warm.

"_**NOOOOOOO**_!" Everyone jumped as Luffy uttered a long, tortured wail… slamming his fist into the ground again and again, as his tears puddled to create a mud black as death. His sorrow was so powerful, one could taste it in the air – like the bitter farewell kiss of a corpse.

"_I TOLD YOU TO BE SAFE!_" he screamed at the ashes. "I _**told**_ you!"

Usopp was appalled by this reaction. He had been depending on Luffy to be the positive thinker, to tell them that Zoro wasn't dead. That everything was okay! "H-Hey, captain!" he exclaimed, reaching out to the other boy. "G-Get ahold of yourself! Why are you acting like thi–?"

"_**SHUT **__**UP**_!"

The sharpshooter flinched back. A horrible moaning sound – filled with grief and despair – started from somewhere in Luffy's chest, and swelled up his throat, stuttering out of tear-choked lungs. He gasped for breath.

"This is just like Omatsuri Island…!" he whispered.

All of a sudden, saying those words, it was like a dam had burst in Luffy's chest. He blurted the whole thing out – about the island, and Baron Omatsuri, and the Lily Carnation, and watching all of them die before his eyes, helpless and unable to do a thing to protect them. In the salty heat of his sorrow, he felt so terribly hurt – yet so oddly distant, as if he was hearing somebody else weave a fantastic and tragic tale while he slept in the embrace of a nightmare. It went on and on, the captain pouring his soul out into that black, salty mud. But finally, he finished.

Luffy gasped for breath, feeling hollow, empty, and very, very delicate. Like a thousand-year-old vase, as if one word would make him shatter.

At first, all was quiet.

Then, Sanji's sigh broke the stunned silence.

"You rubber bastard." The cook aimed a halfhearted glare at his captain. "You must have been in a lot of pain, keeping a shitty experience like that holed up inside of you all this time! Moron."

Luffy's face lit up with joy. "Sanji!"

Chopper was crying, too. "_I'm-so-sorry-you-had-to-go-through-something-like-that-Luffy!_" he sobbed. "_UWAAAAH_!"

"Chopper!"

A soft, sympathetic smile curved Robin's lips. "Of course you wouldn't want to talk about something like that, Captain-san."

"Robin!"

Their navigator huffed angrily, bouncing her breasts as to inconspicuously dash away tears. "Idiot, it's not your fault!"

"Nami!"

The cyborg scratched his head. "Well, I wasn't part of the crew then…" he admitted. But he still smiled at Luffy. "It sounds horrible. But it sounds like it was all that Baron Omatsuri bastard's doing. None of yours."

Brook raised his bony hand. "That is my humble opinion, as well!"

"Franky! Brook!"

Luffy was on the verge of tears again. "Everyone…!"

Finally, Usopp stepped forward. "And you know, we're only _assuming_ Zoro is dead," he said, glancing at the rest of the crew. "We didn't find a skeleton, did we?"

Luffy hesitated, then slowly shook his head. "No…"

The sharpshooter carefully shifted Zoro's naked swords in his hands. "And where are the sheaths for these things, huh?" he demanded, confidence growing visibly. "There's no way Zoro's dead! I bet he's sitting in the lap of luxury right now, getting his wounds treated by a pair of pretty nurses or something!"

Franky pressed his nose. "It's not _super_ reassuring coming from our local Pinocchio," he thought aloud.

"Hey!"

Another wacky hairstyle sprung out of the shipwright's set follicles. "But Usopp's right," he admitted with a shrug. "That'd be just like him to have two beautiful nurses treating his wounds while we worry over him in this burnt-out shithole."

Usopp stared at him dubiously. "_Seriously_…?"

Behind him, Luffy sniffed. "You think so?"

The sharpshooter seized on his reassurance. "I-I know so!" he lied. "In fact, I saw him on the way over here!"

"Damn Long Nose!" Sanji snarled. "You're lying again!"

"Yeah, I'm lying!" Usopp laughed, rubbing his head nervously. "Come on, there's _no_ way that'd ever happen!"

**…**

* * *

"Wrap it gently."

"Nn."

Vera worked to follow Shizuka's advice, avoiding Zoro's distrusting black gaze as she quickly and gently bound the swordsman's treated wounds. In times like these, she wished she had more medical experience. Fortunately, Zoro was a toughie. He didn't make a sound, and for that she was grateful; the smell of blood and antiseptic never bothered her as much as the idea that she might be hurting her patient further. Vera taped a pad of gauze over the burn on his chest, taking an unusual amount of time to make sure it was on securely... stealing a glance at Zoro as she did.

It was a sight to rival even the night she'd caught him in the shower. Shizuka had cut off all his clothes, as not to aggravate his burns. Zoro was lying on his back now, with only a blanket of gold-and-red silk to cover his private areas, arms spread wide, fully exposing himself to wandering eyes. And wander Vera's eyes did… absorbing the candlelight that caressed the taught, powerful lines of his body in soft threads of golden fire, playing along his strong, naked torso as his breath made it rise and fall in a smooth, hypnotic rhythm. Deep black shadows flowed like ink through the crevasses between his muscles, throwing the golden hills of his abdominals and pectorals into a soft, angelic relief – but just as it did his body's beauty and sensuality, it threw into relief the ugly black and red burns that marked him, as well. His dark black-green eyes glared malevolently up between the rose cloth ceiling and Vera. He exhaled sharply; the girl almost laughed at his expression. It held the same resigned frustration of a smoldering demon in his sexual prime, irritated at his summoning from Hell by a mistress with a history of jumping her guests.

Vera repressed a giggle. _Heh, I wonder if he thinks of me like that._

She wordlessly unrolled another strip of clean, crisp linen. When Shizuka had asked her to bind the marimo's burns after she had treated them, it had occurred to her that playing nurse – having Zoro laid out in front of her like, well, _this_ – would end in a hormone high or a disastrous case of Fangirling. But surprisingly, both Fangirl and Inner Vange were unexpectedly silent, leaving Vera to do her work in peace.

She snipped off a bandage and picked up his wrist. _It won't last, _thought she,_ but I love taking a break from my obligation to all those annoying teenage antics. Being a pervert is fun, but just silence is really nice sometimes…_

* * *

Zoro aimed a distrustful glare at the chijo as she placed his hand in her lap. He didn't like her touching him. It felt weird, and being all but naked didn't help things.

At least his haramaki hadn't been burnt. The comforting green garment – with the tiny bump that was Little Roronoa – lay folded on top of the rest of the clothes the Gale Dancer had laid out for him in the corner; strong black breeches, flexible leather boots, a black sash, and a sleeveless leather jerkin with the Wishing Flower symbol etched into the back. He didn't even care why the creepy kid had men's clothes ready in her tent, or how she even knew his size. He just wanted them on.

The chijo finished wrapping up his wrist and reached over him for the other.

Zoro pressed his head into the pillows, glaring away from her round breasts as they hung over his face. "You just couldn't wait to get my shirt off again, huh?" he muttered.

* * *

Vera glanced down at him. Then she looked at Shizuka. "What'd he say?"

"He say…" the little girl translated. It really helped to have a bilingual in the building. "You just couldn't wait to get his shirt off again, could you?"

The brunette chortled. "Well," she replied.

She aimed a halfheartedly lewd expression down at Zoro. "Don't get _too_ excited, marimo."

* * *

The chijo responded. "She says not to get too excited," the Gale Dancer translated.

Zoro glared. "Tch."

The swordsman lay his head back down, eyeing the chijo warily as she wrapped his other wrist with a gentle hand. He knew it sounded strange, but he would have almost been _reassured_ if she'd have tried something by now. But no, she just sat there, wrapping his wounds as if they were total strangers. Zoro should have liked that, viewed it as a welcome reprieve from the norm. But somehow, he just felt… uneasy.

"Oi!" he barked. "Stop it."

* * *

Vera glared at him. "Stop what?"

* * *

Zoro blinked, slightly taken aback at the hostility in her voice, but pushed on nonetheless. "Look, it's not like I'm concerned or anything," he continued. "But you annoy me, okay?"

The girl blinked, then looked at Shizuka for a translation. When it came, she snorted a reply and went back to her work.

"She says, 'Congratulations to me,'" she translated. "'Is that all?'"

Zoro sat up. "No, it's not!" he yelped, feeling offended. "You're _not_ annoying me right now, so what the hell is wrong with you?!"

Shizuka translated. The chijo gave him a look that was – again, to his surprise – extremely annoyed, and replied in an extremely hostile tone. "She says 'So being annoying is in my nature?'" said the tiny girl. "'Then don't put up with me. Go away.'"

Zoro's jaw dropped.

"Why are you so bitch-ugly _nasty_ all of a sudden?!" he demanded of her. "And why do you hate _me_ so much? You don't hate any of the others!"

**…**

"But I'm not lying about one thing!" Usopp went on. "Zoro's a fighter, and I know in my gut that he's not dead! Like Vera says…!"

* * *

Vera scowled. "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt."

* * *

"That doesn't even make _SENSE_ in this context!" the swordsman bellowed. "And will you _stop_ saying that!"

**…**

Robin glanced at the sharpshooter uncertainly. "Long Nose-san, I don't believe that's how the phrase is properly used."

Something snapped inside Usopp. "Well, _sue me_, Robin! I had to say _something_!"

* * *

Something snapped inside Vera.

"It _does_ make sense!" she yelled. "You are in denial because _I don't hate you_! I admire you! You're one of the most incredible people ever created! You're loyal, badass, sexy, powerful, one freaking heck of a fighter, and the first mate of the Strawhat Pirates! You're Roronoa Zoro, inventor and user of Santoryuu, and a freakin' dumbass for thinking I hate you! And it's really sugoi and kowai when you yell at other people but it really scares me and pisses me off and makes me get really defensive when you yell at me and I really hate cussing especially when I do it so kindly_ KISS OFF AND STOP YELLING AT ME_!"

* * *

Zoro blinked, completely taken by surprise at the unexpected confession.

**…**

Luffy blinked, completely taken by surprise at the unexpected reference.

_Vera did say that… didn't she?_

Suddenly, Luffy took a surprised breath as a memory rose to the surface, unbidden by the rubber man. It was from last night… the texture of her long, heavy curls, the feel of her soft body and breasts under his fingertips when she had twined her body around his. How she spoke – how even when he couldn't understand her, her voice was still easy to listen to. The way her scent blended with his own, to create a new, incredible, mouth-watering fragrance. He could still smell traces of it on his skin, even now.

Luffy blinked again, puzzled at the strange sensation that spread through his body at the memory. If he had been asked to describe it, he wouldn't be able to answer… but, it was indescribably warm, tingling unbearably in the rubber man's stomach and chest. Like a thousand molten butterflies in the grip of hurricane force winds. Luffy had no idea what to think.

But uncomfortable as it was…

He giggled without even realizing it. _I kinda like it!_

Still, the feeling was very distracting. He couldn't afford to be distracted right now – so for the moment, Luffy decided to dismiss it. He'd think on it later, when everyone was back together and all this crap with the Marines and the Wishing Flowers was over with. So Luffy grinned, wiped his nose one last time, and stood up, back to his cheerful old self.

"Thank you, everyone!" he said to his nakama. He felt like a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "Really, thank you."

The rest of the crew exhaled in relief, trading smiles at their captain's renewed happiness.

"Still!"

Luffy crossed his arms, pursing his lips and staring pensively up at the stars. "It would be nice if we knew for sure he got out of this. I know Zoro, and he wouldn't leave his swords behind…"

Suddenly, Chopper raised his nose to the wind. He gasped as he detected a familiar scent.

"Hey, guys!"

"Hah?"

Everyone looked at their doctor as he changed to his full reindeer form, eagerly sniffing at the ground. "I didn't smell it before because of all the ash and soot!" Chopper proclaimed, clopping over to an overturned crate. "But –!"

He sniffed it, and flipped it over – revealing the start of a trail of sooty black footprints; leading away from the wreckage of the fire, across the street, and into the forest behind the bar.

The Strawhat's faces lit up. "_Zoro_!"

"He's okay!"

Robin sighed, relieved. "Thank goodness."

Sanji tossed his golden fringe. "Tch."

"That's _super_! But…" Franky raised an eyebrow at the meandering path of the marks. "Where do you think he was going?"

Nami's palm met her face. "He probably saw our flare and was trying to follow it."

"But they're going in the total opposite direction!" Chopper gaped.

Sanji lit a cigarette. "Dumbass…"

"Shishishishi!" Luffy chuckled. "Well, that's fine!"

"NO, IT'S NOT!" Nami shrieked, boxing him into the ground. "He'll get into trouble! And we still have to find Vera-chan!" She pressed her hands to her cheeks, flustered. "Ohhhh, where in the world could _she_ be…?"

**…**

Zoro stared at Vera.

Then his eyes narrowed. "I'm not Chopper," the swordsman growled. "Flattery won't get you anywhere with me."

* * *

Vera sucked in a breath, held it for a moment, then released it – letting go of Zoro's half-bandaged wrist and rubbing her face, as she tried to catch her breath from that one massive outburst. She suddenly just felt so tired.

"It's not flattery if it's true," she sighed.

She continued even as Shizuka translated to Zoro, whose expression grew harder and harder with each word the little girl spoke. "And… I'm sorry, all right?" she finally apologized. "If not for the reasons you'd think. I've just been homesick and my inner demons are acting up and I'm tired of expressing myself to such extents all the time. It's _exhausting_. This whole _place_ is exhausting. I can only hope I won't be here for too much longer."

* * *

Zoro glared at her – but it was one of those glares where he didn't even realize he was doing it. "Won't _be_ here much longer?" he asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

* * *

Vera sighed, getting up from her place by Zoro's side, in favor of a seat at the round, solid table. She propped her chin in her hand, gazing out into the dark, starry sky.

"Who knows," she replied. "It's not like anyone cares about me here."

She glanced at the swordsman. "Even you," said she, smiling bitterly. "You said so, yourself. I have no place here, ne?"

* * *

"_**Maybe it's for the best," Zoro had said just two days ago, gazing out onto the beautiful azure water. It was so calm now, with no sign of the raging cyclone from only minutes ago. "This wasn't her world. She didn't belong here, with us."**_

Zoro scowled at her. "You're smarter than you look."

The chijo shrugged. "Yup."

Then he stood. "But!"

"Hm?" He heard Vera perk up. She turned around to look at him – then kept right on turning when the cloth dropped, her face hotter than the candle flames that lit the place – as he began to put on the clothes the Gale Dancer had set out for him.

"Oi, Shizuka. Translate for me, will ya?"

The Gale Dancer covered her eyes politely. "Of course."

Zoro took his time buckling his pants as he formed his response to the chijo. Hell, she'd already seen it all, no point in modesty now. "Yeah. It's true that _I_ don't want you here," he told her, taking care with his pronunciation. He didn't need a misunderstanding now with what he was about to say. "You creep me out and you're a total pervert. But it's _not_ true that no one cares for you."

* * *

Vera kept her eyes covered. "…Hontou?"

* * *

Zoro rolled his eyes, even though she couldn't see him. "_Yes_, really. I don't understand for the life of me why…"

He slipped on the jerkin, took one look at the intricate lacing, then left it open and reached for the boots, "…but I get the feeling that Luffy likes you a lot. It goes without saying the dartbow does, although that might just be that you have boobs and a –"

* * *

Shizuka paused in her translation. "I won't repeat that last word."

Vera raised her eyebrows.

* * *

Zoro strapped on his sheaths, not really looking at them. "Despite what you can do to him, Chopper likes you. You, I don't know, _fascinate_ Brook and Franky for some reason. The sea witch treats you like a little sister. I've seen mothers act more hostile to their babies while nursing them than the archeologist does when she's talking to you, and Usopp thinks he's your best friend on the boat!" He slipped his haramaki up around his waist, inconspicuously adjusting Little Roronoa so his bulge wasn't as easily seen. "I don't know about you, but I think his feelings would be hurt if he heard you say that."

"Usopp?"

Finally, Zoro fixed his black kerchief around his bicep, tied it with a tug of his teeth, and turned to face her, fully dressed in the hand-to-hand combat costume of the Gale Dancer's Guard; albeit with the addition of a green haramaki, the jerkin wide open, and most of his exposed flesh covered in bandages. "Yeah. Usopp."

She stared at him with big, sparkling doe eyes. Defenseless. Lonely. No way to get back to the people who cared about her.

Zoro realized he'd just dug his own grave.

"OH, NO!" He made a frantic X-motion with both his arms. "NO WAY!"

"'But Usopp!'" translated the Gale Dancer, who giggled eerily at the sheer underhandedness of it all. "'And Luffy! And Sanji! And Brook and Nami and Chopper and Robin and Franky! They care about me! You said it yourself!'"

Vera smiled terrifyingly at him. "'You _have_ to take me back with you!'"

"NO WAY IN HELL!" Zoro refused outright. "Whenever you're around, weird and painful things happen to me!"

The chijo waggled a finger at him. "'No excuse!'" she chimed. "'If you don't, your nakama will never forgive you!'"

"YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!"

"'Oh, _can_ I?'"

Zoro opened his mouth to yell in protest… then sighed in defeat. "_Fine_," he groaned. "I'll take you back with me! Damn! Why am _I _always the one stuck with the shitty jobs?"

Then, Shizuka piped up. "Oh, you should take me with you as well."

"_**WHAT**_?!"

Zoro roared in frustration, grabbing his head with both hands. "AUGH! How could this get any _worse_?!"

"Admiral Kizaru about to crash through the ceiling with both the will and means to kill you, me, and Rosethorne Vera all at the same time."

Zoro froze.

"…Eh?"

_CRASH!_

With a deafening report and a blinding explosion of bright yellow light, a huge leg smashed through the framework of the Gale Dancer's shelter, broken bits of crystal and china flying through the air like shrapnel from the discharge of a grenade. Zoro grabbed both girls and threw them bodily out of harm's way before he was buried in the debris; Vera made a half-squeak, half-scream of surprise as she was knocked off balance and landed in a bush. Shizuka's baby body, having expected it, flew in a controlled arc far over the bush, across the clearing, wrapped her arms around the branch of a young sapling at the edge of the forest, and hung there calmly, several meters off the ground.

Admiral Kizaru straightened, surveying the damage he had caused. "Oh my…" he murmured. "What a quaint little hovel in the middle of nowhere…"

"_Coff_! Damn!"

Zoro tossed what remained of the tea table off of him. "Who did that?!" he yelled, coughing violently as he shook fluff and china dust from his hair.

He turned around, and saw Kizaru.

The Admiral raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh, Roronoa Zoro…?"

Zoro gently knocked his head against the ground. "Great."

Then, the swordsman picked his head up off the grass, sighing resignedly. "But I guess it can't be helped," he muttered to himself. He got up, brushed the dust off his pants, reached for Shuusui's hilt…

And his fist closed around air.

Zoro blinked. "Hm?"

Then he looked. All three of his katana were gone.

"_**EEEEEEEEH**_?!"

* * *

Vera facepalmed. _**Now**__ he notices._

Shizuka sighed resignedly, hanging from her slim tree branch. _Roronoa Zoro. There's your first lover for you,_ thought she. _Strong, sexy, and completely oblivious._

* * *

Kizaru glanced between the speechless Strawhat swordsman, the scratched-up brunette, and the baby hanging in the tree, torn between which one to go after first. Roronoa Zoro was the most immediate threat; without his swords that threat was decreased, but still not completely eliminated. The brunette was most likely Rosethorne Vera – the new member of the Strawhats Vice Admiral Smoker had spoken about over the transponder snail. Kizaru tried to analyze her power level…

_That's strange,_ the admiral thought, puzzled as he watched the girl knuckle her forehead in frustration. _She's sitting right in front of me… yet I can't sense her, even with Observation Haki. How bizarre._

But he could deal with that later. Instead, the Admiral turned his gaze on the last individual – the child, hanging in a tree on the edge of the clearing. The subtle golden presence that had drawn him to this spot, indeed, radiated from her. By the process of deduction…

That was the Gale Dancer.

Kizaru sighed. "All this trouble over a child," he murmured to himself, going to step around the swordsman…

An iron grip fastened around his ankle.

The Logia started. "Hm?"

Zoro grabbed him with a second hand, turned – and with a roar of effort and fury – hurled the Navy Admiral _bodily_ over his head, through the air, and straight into the stout trunk of a hundred-year old oak.

CRASH!

The marimo grinned in satisfaction. "Just because I don't have my swords doesn't mean you can ignore me, Navy bastard!"

* * *

Vera felt like her eyes were going to pop right out of her skull. "_DUDE_!"

* * *

"IT'S RUDE TO STARE AT PEOPLE!"

The chijo shut her mouth, her eyes still round as teacup saucers. Zoro exhaled sharply – he felt uncomfortable with his back to her, perhaps as a result of the shower incident – and turned his eyes back on his opponent. "Just grab the Gale Dancer brat and get out of here!" he yelled, assuming a defensive position. "Run! I'll take care of the damn yellow monkey!"

**-(TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: "Kizaru" literally means "yellow monkey.)-**

* * *

Vera heard "kuso," "Gailu Dansa," "gaki" and "nigerou." _Damn_, _Gale_ _Dancer_, _brat_, and _run_.

"Ogata!"

She shot him a thumbs up to show him she understood, then hastened to disentangle herself from the prickly bush and rush over to Shizuka's perch. "Let's go, honey!" she called up to the baby, who hung like a lumpy, overripe fruit amongst the topmost branches. "This is one fight we sure as heck don't want to get mixed up in!"

Her eerie, womanlike voice echoed down. "Catch!"

Vera choked at the very idea. "Okay, uh… bad idea!" she yelled back up. "I'm sure you're pretty light, but my upper body strength is, like, zero!"

"Do you expect Shizuka to _climb_ down?" came the reply.

Vera raised an eyebrow, feeling slightly offended. "I could do without the sarcasm! Weirder things have happened! And do you have any idea how strange you already are?! Can't you, like, float down or something?!"

"I could. But there's problem with situation!"

"What's that?!"

"Called gravity!"

For a second, Vera was torn between laughter and getting pissed off. She settled for scowling and yelling back up the tree: "Zoro's right! You are a brat!"

Suddenly, the sound of breaking wood made her turn. Kizaru was getting up.

Vera's eyes went wide.

"Okay, change of plans!" she called. "Jump!"

"You sure? Could _float_ down."

"URUSAI, GAKI!"

Shizuka dropped into her arms with a light smack; Vera's breath whooshed out of her for a second, then she gasped, hitched the child's legs around her front and took off running, darting between trees and over the underbrush as fast as she could.

* * *

Zoro watched her go. _She's no Usopp, _he thought._ But damn, that chijo can run._

He redirected his attention to Kizaru, who had nearly recovered completely from the swordsman's throw. _Now I only have to focus on one thing…_

The Admiral straightened, brushing splinters from his jacket lapel. Then he raised his leg, the blinding yellow beams powering up as he prepared to launch a devastating attack at the Strawhat swordsman.

"Don't do that again," Kizaru said.

And fired.

**…**

_Boooom…_

Luffy perked up. "Hm?"

The Strawhats all turned towards the explosion as it echoed over the city.

Nami grimaced and looked at the others. "You don't suppose that's –?"

Usopp finished tying Zoro's swords onto his back; they made him look pretty badass, after all. "Yup."

"Yoooosh!" Luffy cried, pumping his fists in the air. "Let's go! To Zoro and Vera!"

The Strawhats took off running. "_YEAH_!"

* * *

_**BOOOOOOM!**_

Vera cried out and clutched Shizuka's tiny form closer to her chest, flinching as the aftershock of Zoro deflecting another of Kizaru's attacks knocked her against a building. Full brown locks whipped free of her braid, dust settling into her hair and her bright violet yukata. Debris bounced off her face and body. A stray glass shard cut into her cheek. She pulled it out – not even registering the pain through her adrenaline – adjusted her grip on Shizuka, then pushed off the wall and kept running. Kizaru had pursued them all the way back through the forest, over the wall, and into the city. For some reason, he _really_ wanted to kill her in particular! And he would have long ago if it hadn't been for Zoro.

The Admiral grabbed the marimo's foot and threw him bodily, going after the girls again. But before he could hit the building headfirst, Zoro flipped around, blindingly fast – his muscled body twisting in midair – and brought his elbow down in a crippling blow to Kizaru's collarbone.

The tall, lanky Marine smashed to the street.

Zoro landed on his feet and jumped back, bracing himself for the next attack.

Vera had to force herself to tear her eyes away from their furious battle and watch where she was going. She knew, from the Davy Back Arc and several other circumstances in the anime, that the Strawhat swordsman was just as proficient in unarmed combat as the Strawhat cook was in swordplay; evidence from his fight against Wanze pre-Enies Lobby. But seeing it in person was positively _unreal_.

The brunette nearly smacked headlong into a streetlamp.

_Gah! You can geek out over it later! _she admonished herself, darting around it. _Focus on running!_

* * *

Zoro panted as he warily eyed the Navy Admiral's motionless form. "Why isn't he getting up?" he muttered to himself. "There's no way that blow finished him –!"

"_Yata no Kagami._"

Without warning, Kizaru vanished in a flash of gold.

Before Zoro could react, a bright yellow beam of light bounced off the street, three walls, and rematerialized behind him into the Navy Admiral – and a blinding white starburst of pain opened in the swordsman's skull, as his opponent's powerful kick launched him farther into the stratosphere than any Coup de Burst had ever taken him. "_GAAAAAaaaaaaaahhh…!_"

The Strawhat faded into a speck in the deepest part of the night sky – then disappeared from view completely.

Kizaru put his leg down. "Have a nice fliiight…"

Then he directed his eyes to the other Strawhat, and her precious cargo. She had stopped completely, gaping in disbelief at the sky. Kizaru smiled and tucked his hands into his pockets, approaching at a leisurely pace.

"Soooo," he drawled. "Decided to stop running, have yoooou?"

Rosethorne Vera realized he was speaking to her, gasped, and changed her course, quickly darting down an alleyway.

Kizaru sighed tiredly. "Awww, this is getting so tedious," he murmured. "Time to cut this chase short."

The Admiral raised his hands, forming a disk of light between them. "_Yata no Kagami._"

Using the same technique he had against Roronoa, the Glimmer Logia transformed into a thick beam of golden radiance, ricocheting off the street and walls – shooting like a bright yellow bullet down the alleyway and materializing before Rosethorne.

"GAH!"

The brunette shrieked, stopping so quickly she fell. She landed hard on her backside and, eyes wide in panic, scrambled backwards away from him. The hand not holding the Gale Dancer searched desperately behind her… but all her fingers met was the wall.

Kizaru took his time approaching her. She had nowhere to run now.

"You can't get away from meeeee…!"

* * *

_Gravity gravity gravity gravity gravity! Bring Zoro back, pretty pretty __**please**__! _

Vera's eyes flicked between the heavens and her death, heart beating faster than a scared rabbit. She had never been this scared in her life. Never. _You did so good just a minute ago with the Gale Dancer brat! _she prayed desperately. _ Do it again! Come __**on**__, gravity!_

"Flare…" Shizuka whispered.

Vera froze. Her mind went blank.

She stared down at the soft, tiny baby, curled motionless between her breasts. "…W-What?" the girl breathed.

_**Vera examined the thin blue cylinder Nami had just handed her. "Nani?"**_

_**It was six hours ago, back in the women's quarters on the Thousand Sunny, when she, Robin, and Nami were getting ready for the festival. The navigator had just finished fixing her glittery copper lip gloss after Zoro's disturbance had caused her to mess it up. Now, she rolled her eyes and turned to Vera, chattering in Japanese.**_

_**The brunette stared vacantly at Nami for a moment, not even pretending to listen.**_

_**Then she looked away. "Robin-kaasan?" she asked the archeologist. "Rough translation, if you please?"**_

_**Robin chuckled quietly. She considered it for a couple seconds, searching for the words: "Sore wa… flare? Special blue for you. If trouble. We come. Hai?"**_

_**Vera gasped. "Oooooh. Useful!"**_

_**She stuck it in her obi. "With you guys on the island, there's gonna be trouble, that's for sure!" she laughed. "But anyway, cool! Yeah, thanks!"**_

"FLARE!" Shizuka screamed.

Vera threw the child off her lap, yanked the thin blue tube out of her sash, and fired it.

If Kizaru hadn't been a Logia, he would have had his head blown off as a searing cerulean fireball exploded out of the tip – soaring into the sky like a phoenix, trailing a plume of dark sapphire smoke, and bursting all at once in a lightning flash of false daylight. Just as quickly, it dissolved with a dazzling _bang_ into bright azure sparks. They filtered down, almost to the ground, then fizzled out of existence. Needless to say, Kizaru backed up real quick.

Completely driven onto her back now, Vera gasped for breath. She stared in shock up at the stars – mouth open, chest heaving.

Then she closed her mouth.

She turned her head – feeling like she could shoot the same fire out of her eyes – and aimed the most intense glare she had ever delivered at Kizaru.

"_You better say your prayers now._"

Vera snarled the words. When she spoke, her voice came out sounding two octaves lower than it normally did. She had never felt like this before… like a goddess of wrath, beautiful, terrifying, and invincible. "_You know your Pika Pika no Mi?_" she purred. "_It's a childish toy. But I… I have a much more powerful Devil Fruit at my disposal._

"_It's called the Badass Badass no Mi…_"

* * *

Kizaru blinked, his Logia powers instantly restoring his vision from the blinding flash of whatever attack she'd just launched at him.

"Well, that was certainly unexpected…" he drawled. "But –"

* * *

"GOMU GOMU NO –!"

"BOQUETIÉRE –!"

"MUTORYUU –!"

For a fraction of a fraction of a second, Vera's eyes literally flared up – irises spinning white and bright and fiery like Fourth of July sparklers. "_**MODEL MUGIWARA NO ICHIMI!**_"

Zoro roared down like a comet from the sky; teeth grit tighter than a vice, both fists descending down in a terrific pound to the crown of Kizaru's head. Sanji – who had found himself balancing on his hands at the base of the Admiral's feet, curled up like a spring to focus all the power in his body at one point – now launched himself up, unleashing every ion of that force into a devastating, duo-legged shot to Kizaru's jaw. Luffy materialized out of nowhere, already in Gear Second, and slammed both his red-hot, steaming fists into the side of Kizaru's head.

"_JETTO BAZOOKA!_"

"_SHOOTOU!_"

"_TORA GARI!_"

From the side, from below, from above.

Now, even for an admiral… with a triple combo headshot from the Monster Trio, Vera was surprised that Kizaru's skull didn't burst open like a ripe melon. There was quite an impressive blood mist, though. And as the three men followed through on their attacks, Luffy's bazooka was apparently the greatest action in this jacked-up-on-stereoids example of the Third Law of Motion – although Isaac Newton had as much of a role in the universe of One Piece as a fairy princess does at a Monster Jam Grave Digger Freestyle truck rally – and Kizaru was sent flying down the alleyway and smashing into the opposite building.

"_THAT WAS AWESOME_!"

Vera double fist-pumped, completely fangirling. "I still really wish you foreign people could have appreciated how freakin' EPIC that line was, usually I can't think of those things till later, but I won't pester you about it till later because that was _so! Freaking! Awesome_!"

Lying crumpled in the street, Kizaru made a wet, gurgling noise.

"What's that?!" Vera stood up and cupped a hand around her ear, leaning mockingly towards the Admiral. "I can't hear you over the sound of how _incredible _that _headshot_ was! I'm _sorry_!"

She turned to the Monster Trio and raised her hands over her head. "High fives all around! Don't you _dare_ leave me hangin'! That was _too_ fabulous!"

* * *

_How childish, _Shizuka thought.

She frowned disapprovingly against the ground… then paused, considering her situation, and facepalmed at the irony of her own statement.

* * *

"Vera!"

Luffy certainly didn't leave her hanging. He _tackled_ her, one hundred and forty one pounds of ecstatic teenage rubber boy. And unlike Boa Hancock, Vera was far from a six foot three Amazonian Suchibukai; she went down like a bowling pin. "WHOAH!"

They crashed to the ground.

The brunette thought that was a good time to get back on her feet, but Luffy obviously wasn't done hugging her yet. "Yogata!" he was laughing, wrapping his arms completely around and rubbing up and down against her. "Anata wa daijobuda! Ha ha ha!"

Vera turned bright red. _There's that appendage again…!_

Then – to her relief – he stopped, seeming to realize something. "Ah!"

Luffy sat up, still straddling Vera against the ground – who was glowing bright red and panting from the grinding she'd just received – and grinned at the marimo. "Anata mo, Zoro! Shishishishishi!"

* * *

"'You, too?!' _Show some more concern_!" Zoro bellowed. "I was nearly burned to a crisp in a bar fire! And _what_ _the hell _do you think you're doing?!"

"WHO CARES ABOUT THAT?!" Sanji shrieked. "You shitty piece of rubber, _what the hell do you think you're doing_?!"

He launched a vengeful kick at his captain. Luffy yelped and ducked down, wrapping himself around Vera's torso. The cook's foot stopped short; it was either that or smash the girl's ribcage along with his face. "Get up, bastard!" he roared. "I can't kill you when you're plastered all over Vera-chan like that!"

The rubber man pouted from his position between Vera's breasts. "In that case, I'm never getting up," he told Sanji. He was enjoying an upsurge of that warm, tingly feeling from before, anyway.

"WHAT?!"

* * *

Shizuka covered her eyes; she knew what was coming next. _Black Leg Sanji. There's your second lover for you, _thought she. _Chivalrous, jealous, and ALSO completely oblivious._

* * *

Vera gasped when Luffy squeezed. "Ah…!"

The boy blinked.

Then he grinned. _Ha ha! She made a funny noise! Let's see if I can do that again~!_

Luffy moved his pelvis again. She yipped and squirmed. The rubber man raised his eyebrows. _How interesting!_ Fascinated by her reactions, Luffy began to squeeze and poke in different places to see what would happen – extracting more moans, gasps, and stifled shrieks as his hands roamed ever… lower… Because for some reason, her voice made weird parts of his body feel really, _really_ good.

Luffy traced down the V of her hipbones. _What happens if I touch here?_

* * *

His hands reached the tip of the V and cupped it.

Vera choked. _Holy crap, is he trying to –?!_

* * *

Zoro's eyes bugged. Sanji spontaneously combusted in an ambivalent explosion of fire and nose blood.

And then…

"Oi oi oi oi oi!"

The foursome turned around to see Usopp crawl over the fence at the other end of the alleyway, moving carefully so the naked blades of Wado Ichimonji, Shuusui, and Kitsune III wouldn't shishkabob him in the butt. Nami, Robin, Chopper, Franky, and Brook followed after, considerably more gracefully. "Where did you guys suddenly run off to – AH! IT'S ZORO!"

"Zoro?"

"Zoro!"

"_ZOROOOOOOO_!"

The swordsman found himself buried in an avalanche of bodies, yelling, and tears. "Okay, okay, I get it!" he croaked. "Too much!"

Distracted by something more noisy than Vera, Luffy grinned.

Finally… his nakama were all back together.

* * *

Shizuka peeped between her fingers, checking to make sure it was all over. _And Monkey D. Luffy. There's your third lover for you,_ thought she. _Sweet, cute, and – that's right! – COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS._

Vera went limp with relief. _Thank you, _**God**_, he stopped!_

* * *

"ADMIRAL KIZARU!"

"Hm?"

Nami turned and jumped. "_Gah_!"

The rest of the Strawhats looked around – and gaped as they saw that an army of five hundred G5 Marines had materialized out of nowhere, just outside of their alleyway. It seemed the pirates had remained unnoticed in the wake of the sight of their most powerful officer lying in a crumpled, bloody heap in the middle of the street. But for some of them, their eyes were wandering. Cries and murmurs alike rang out; where were they? What was that light they just saw? How did they get here? Was this everyone?

Suddenly, one of those wondering soldiers spotted Luffy.

"AH! It's the Strawhats!"

A cry went up amongst the army. "_**EEEEEEEEH**_?!"

Zoro knuckled his forehead. "Well, shit!" he muttered. The swordsman grabbed Usopp and reached for his katana. "Gimme those, Long Nose!"

"No 'thank you, Great Captain Usopp, for saving my swords?!' Oi oi oi oi oi, careful! Don't cut me!"

Nine Strawhats braced themselves, as the entire army of G5 turned their sights onto the mouth of the alleyway. In an instant, the tiny opening was bristling with pistols and bayonettes and swords and all other manners of nasty killing objects. One of the soldiers strained to squeeze through a crack in the armed weapons – and finally popped free.

"Don't think you can escape now that we've found you!" He stepped forward, brandishing a fearsome-looking sword at the small cluster of pirates. "In the name of justice, we place you under arrest! Surrender!"

Luffy blinked and let go of Vera.

"No!" he replied.

The soldier bristled. "You've got balls, Strawhat Luffy, I'll give you that! But _we_ have five hundred elite Navy soldiers, a captain, a Vice Admiral, and an _Admiral_! We're not running from a measly ten pirates and a baby just off mommy's milk!"

Shizuka straightened. "If you must know, I never even tasted my mother's milk."

The mass of weapon shifted as their owners balked at her unnatural seeming. Even the unnamed Marine's face lost some of its bravado.

Then, Luffy grinned at him… the cherry on top on the whole scary sundae.

"Shishishishi!" he giggled. "Well, congratulations!"

Sanji lit a cigarette and stepped steadily forward, the last of his dizziness fading. The Strawhat cook took a draw on his smoke, his visible eye blue. And bright with bloodlust.

"Cause now the shit hits the fan."

And then, dozens of the Gale Dancer's Guard appeared out of thin air. Their light footfalls pattered on the roofs, movements swift and deadly as they cocked pistols and sniper rifles on the small army of five hundred Marines clustered below them. Many of the Navy soldiers gulped audibly. Half of their number had been taken care of. And although all of them showed signs of battle, not a single member of those blue-armored monsters was missing from their place. Hideki materialized out of the shadows, Mars – shining black hair bound up out of her face, which was bloodied, bandaged, and extremely, hellishly pissed – wielding a very scary-looking warhammer at his right.

He hefted his golden-edged blade on his unbandaged shoulder. "So get ready to have your asses handed to you…"

Luffy cracked his knuckles, grinning delightedly. "Navy bastards."

Something changed in the air.

The unnamed Marine felt like wetting himself. _Me and my big mouth…!_

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Yes. Yes. YESSSSSSSSS!**

**Phew. Next is the…**

_**FINAL CLIMACTIC BATTLE SCENE!**_

**of the Wishing Flower Arc! I'm so sorry to the people who were expecting an update sooner! (You know who you are! *tear*) But I had to split Ch16 into two - it was just too dang long - but I have summaries all written out and all I have to do is type them up****… and quality is important, so please be patient with me! Love! Anticipate! Review. HAVE A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR'S! And I'll see you as soon as I can, my ducklings!**


	16. Omatsuri Part VI

**First part of the CLIMAAAAAX! I am EXCITEEEED!**

**Sorry for the wait! With my sister moving out, chaos with college portfolios, a short story due for English, a monster Ethics essay to take a bite out of, and writer's block on top of it all I started this chapter TWO WEEKS AFTER I WANTED BOTH POSTED. Ugh. Also, I drew a picture of Vera and put it up on Deviantart. Same username there as on here, if you wanted to see that. Btw, Ch16 and 17 bisect the climax. **

**So, cliffy warning. BIG cliffy warning. Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 16:**

**Omatsuri**

"_**Part VI – Red, Gold, and White"**_

"_Smoker-san… _Smoker-san!"

Smothered in the black, lightless blanket of unconsciousness, Smoker twitched and groaned. A woman's voice reached down through the darkness, accompanied by the all-too familiar clashes and roars of battle. Trying to speak was like lifting the sky on his shoulders; every inch of his body felt like it had been pounded with a meat tenderizer. But somehow, the Logia struggled towards the surface – fighting tooth and nail for every inch – and slowly, painfully, opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was a pair of concerned blue-black eyes, barely a foot away from his own.

Seeing him awake, his subordinate released a surprised squeak. "Smoker-san!" she gasped, quickly backing away to give him room. "Are you all right, sir?! Your wounds…"

Smoker sat up with difficulty, looking around with wide eyes. He was definitely feeling his battles with Roronoa and Kaiser, but the complaints of his body came second to the chaos around him. Everywhere he looked, it was a sea of bodies, flashing with blades and flying bullets. Occasionally there was a tiny break in the wild thrashing of white and blue and red – revealing a flash of the other, darker colors of the enemy. But then the opponent was gone, lost in the chaos. The noise was deafening. The air roared with gunshots, the explosions of mortars, rent with the wild keening of pain – the sounds of men struggling in a losing battle.

Smoker opened his mouth, but his throat closed up when he attempted to speak. The Logia gagged and pressed a hand to his abused trachea – swallowing several times before trying again. "Tashigi?" he croaked, struggling to be heard over the raging warzone around them. "W-What's going on?"

Tashigi looked just as confused as he was. "I found Admiral Kizaru like you ordered me to, and I was following him up until he took off somewhere, then there was a white flash and I suddenly was here! The same thing seems to have happened to every remaining member of our forces… five hundred Marines, you, and me. I have no idea how it happened, but somehow we ended up next to the Strawhats! Then the Gale Dancer, Kaiser, Deiter, and the rest of the Guard appeared out of nowhere and waged a war on us!

"But that's not the worst of it." Tashigi pointed behind him. "Look!"

Smoker did, and immediately regretted it. Lying in the dust and wreckage of a building practically broken in half – sunglasses broken, covered in blood, and dead to the world – was none other than the strongest officer with their force.

"Admiral Kizaru has been defeated!" Smoker rasped. "But how?!"

"I don't know," Tashigi despaired, shaking her head. "I didn't see it. Sir… with you and Roronoa, and now this? It's like the Strawhats have been given a power even _we_ couldn't foresee."

Smoker coughed, spitting a clod of dust and bile into the street. "Don't start getting all superstitious on me, Tashigi. It has to be some kind of trick, or a steroid. There's nothing they have that we don't –!"

Suddenly, through a break in the sea of fighting, Smoker saw a familiar body.

Kaiser Hideki glided between his opponents – taking down soldier after soldier effortlessly, gracefully. His swordsmanship was part of the reason why his bounty had skyrocketed so high over the past year; it was so close to the type taught at Navy HQ, close enough to fool his trained opponents into following the exact forms… then cutting their feet out from under them with an illegal lash of the fist or foot. Not much was known of Kaiser Hideki – but now, seeing it in person, his fighting and how he seemed to know precisely how and when to break the form to elicit the most amount of confusion in his similarly-educated enemy – Smoker could guess the man might have even been a Marine once. A good one. He had the look in his eye, the tact, the cooled bloodlust. Now that he knew to look for it, the vice admiral could see it in every line of his body.

Marine. Officer.

Traitor.

A vengeful fire ignited in his chest at the sight. _ Kaiser!_

Smoker went for his jutte… and suddenly, the black blanket clamped down over his body, muscles seizing and the world swilling into darkness from its dizzying pressure.

_W-What?! _The vice admiral started, struggling against the infinitesimal force that he'd overpowered countless times, but now so easily dragged him over the edge. _I-I'm not this weak! I'm stronger than this! I should have been able to get up and claim that criminal's head without a second thought, so what in the world is happening to… ahhh…_

Unconsciousness claimed Smoker again, leaving him – quite literally – in the dark.

**…**

"_Yohohohoho_!"

Brook's laugh soared above the noise as the skeleton effortlessly cut his way through a group of the enemy, Soul Solid feeling light as a feather in his grip. "Yohoho!" he squealed. "This is spectacular! I haven't felt this good in _years_!"

Panting in ecstasy, he spun to a stop. Brook breathed in and out; high on the buzzing energy that fueled his bones, marveling in the sparkling white haze that hung in the air around him and everyone else. When he first saw it he had panicked, thinking that it would paralyze and kill him just like the other excrements of Vera-san's abilities, but its true effect seemed to be precisely the opposite! Everyone – Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Robin, Nami, Usopp, Chopper, and Franky, even the members of the Gale Dancer's Guard – had breathed in the invisible, sparkling powder that only Brook could see… and their strength seemed to have increased by tenfold!

Without a doubt, the Strawhats would win this battle. Marines folded beneath their onslaught like wet paper. It was almost sad, how one-sided the fight was becoming.

_Not that I'm complaining, no siree!_

Brook let out another gale of his eerie, ghostlike laughter and dove back into the fray.

Hideki whirled as three of the enemy charged him at once, driving one's brain against the inside of his skull with a flying kick – then following through, grabbed the other two's head, cracked them together like eggs, and dropped them. A fourth came from the side, roaring like a barbarian with a hammer raised over his head. The guard captain snorted and rolled his eyes at the sheer imbecility, breaking the Marine's nose with the hilt of his blade. Then he let him lie down.

"Marsie!" Hideki called.

"Yes?!" The commander was locked in a contest of her own, less against the G5 Marines and more against Usopp, taking out the Strawhat sharpshooter's targets before he could even take aim. Poor guy had to shoot like a maniac just to get his share of the soldiers. The result was an empty space at least twenty feet in diameter around the only two people that needed protecting in this party – Shizuka and Rosethorne.

Hideki parried a sword, directing its tip into another Marine and then striking the resulting mess into the street with a well-placed Armament fist to the kidneys.

"Keep them off my back for a minute!" he yelled. "You too, sniper!"

Usopp launched a missile into the crowd. A huge maneating plant exploded out of the street. "Got it!" he yelled, and began to fire Green Star Devils at random, knocking Marines into the sky like dandelion seeds.

Mars grinned, teeth strong and white like a wolf's. "With _pleasure_!"

She brought her weapon over her head, spun it, and whipped it across in a vicious sideswipe strong enough to blow back six rows of her enemies. Hideki winced at the _crack_ their skulls made when they hit the ground. Yow. Fighting against Mars, you had to feel sorry for them.

With his allies' attacks distracting the majority of the enemy, the guard captain slid like ink through water across, over, and under the snarl of soldiers. He entered the circle faster than thought and ran to his Gale Dancer, crouching before her.

"My lady!" Hideki whispered. "You okay? Anything hurt?

Shizuka smiled at him. "I am fine."

He touched her cheek, eyes checking her small, perfect body for injury. "I swear, if they laid a _finger_ on you –!"

Shizuka smoothed her cool, tiny hands over his huge, hot, bloodstained one, knowing her touch soothed her big overprotective guardian. "Honestly, sir," she reassured him. "I am absolutely perfect."

Hideki released a breath heavy with relief. He hadn't realized he'd been holding it for all the tension, but now he allowed his soul a second for relief… stroking his thumb over the Gale Dancer's soft, unmarked cheek. This little girl was his world, his life. If anything happened to her, he would be unable to live with himself.

Usopp backed up a few feet, making sure his pop greens were doing their job before he spared a glance for Vera – still playing dead on the ground. "Hey!"

She jumped a little. "Hah?"

Usopp raised an eyebrow at his friend. "You okay?" he asked, a bit concerned over the radiant glow of her complexion; it looked like it hurt. "You're a little pink… well, everywhere, actually."

* * *

Vera considered that. "Ummm, hai. Well, actually, iie. Betsu ni." She offered him her hand, asking for help. "Tasukete?"

* * *

Usopp blinked, then shrugged and helped her up.

Hideki watched their interaction, a bitter feeling spreading through his belly. He plucked Shizuka off the ground and braced her against his hip before hefting his sword again, spinning its golden-edged blade in a half-moon slice. Its tip – with a shape as if broken, but forged specially to be so – created a feral whistle as it whipped through the air.

"You need to get out of here," he informed the Gale Dancer. "Marsie will evacuate you and the otherworlder to the security plaza with the rest of the –"

"No."

Hideki paused mid-sentence and stared at Shizuka. "Bu–!"

"No," Shizuka repeated. Her eyes – like golden gems – glittered with an ethereal severity, a knowledge and conviction beyond her years. "There's something coming."

"What is it?"

"Something bad. It will change the tide of this battle. And when it arrives, you will need me here."

"Quit dancing around it." Hideki gave his precious cargo an exasperated look. "You know what it is or not? Lives hang in the balance here. Yours. Mine."

"_I know_."

"And?"

Shizuka opened her mouth… then closed it, and kept it closed.

Hideki's eyes widened.

This could only mean one thing.

The guard captain growled and set Shizuka back on the ground. "Fine," he murmured, then turned, yelling to Mars again: "Oi, Marsie!"

The stumpy, ferocious woman knocked another enemy on his rump, raised the spiked end of her hammer, and gave him an extremely messy castration. Everything with ears within fifty yards flinched at the high, tortured keen of her unfortunate victim.

Mars glared back at him, splattered with blood and bits of mystery matter. "_WHAT_?!"

Usopp and Vera looked like they were going to vomit. Hideki's mouth twisted. That was his commander in a nutshell; a wee bit excessive at times, but very effective.

"Take two of the others and evacuate the otherworlder to the security plaza!" he yelled with some difficulty. "Keep it safe!"

Mars choked. "No way! Just being _near_ that abnormal, gutless, puny, injudicious _freak_ of nature gives me _nausea_!" she roared back, braining another of her enemies with each word. "You couldn't _pay_ me to do something like that!"

Usopp was a bit taken aback. "How rude!"

"Besides!" She paused for breath, gazing intently at her captain. "You need me here!"

Hideki gave her a warning look.

Mars glared back for a moment…

Then the woman groaned, giving up. "Cap!" she bellowed. "Juso!"

Two blue-armored members of the Gale Dancer's Guard paused in their own fights; the same men that usually flanked her. They called back in unison. Always did.

"Yes, Commander Mars?!"

The woman switched her hammer to the other hand and grabbed Vera by the arm. The otherworlder squeaked in terror, scrabbling at her hand. "Get over here!" she ordered. "We have one more citizen to evacuate!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

Mars rolled her eyes and ran, yanking Rosethorne after her as she weaved her way through the warzone, Cap and Juso trotting at her tail like a pair of loyal hounds. In less than a moment, they were gone. Hideki prayed they would go safely in the wake of what was to come.

Usopp, on the other hand, was in blind panic. "W-Whoah, hey!" he yelped.

He stammered after Mars for a moment, then whirled on Hideki. "What the heck are they doing?!" he demanded. "Where are they taking her?!"

The guard captain barely spared him a glance.

"Amphitheater," he replied shortly, sending a man stupid enough to try and incapacitate him flying into a brick wall. "Safe place. Got it under control. Just fight here!"

With that, the battle closed back over them. Usopp suddenly found himself without the breath or the time for conversation. He shot like a madman, using Fire Stars and Pop Greens alike, now unable to spare even the minute amount of focus to think on Vera's welfare; with Mars gone, there were more than too many targets.

_Shit…!_

* * *

One moment, Vera was next to the security of her friend the Strawhat sniper – and the next found herself being yanked through a warzone by an extremely muscled, extremely irritated, Japanese-looking woman, who moments ago she had just witnessed making sure one of her opponents would never father children again. Everything around her was a blur of blades and screaming, the grip on her wrist was _way_ too tight – cutting off her circulation – and even in the knowledge none of this was really happening, Vera was confused and utterly terrified.

The brunette yanked at her captor's grip. "O-Oi, hanashite!"

The abductor either didn't hear or ignored her plea to be released. Vera wrenched at those bruising fingers – but finally gave up. This was crazy! The woman had a grip like a gorilla. Still, the younger girl cast a desperate glance around; she had to get away somehow, but how –?

Suddenly, Vera spotted her chance about ten yards ahead. A bulky Marine – whether dead or unconscious she couldn't see – was sprawled across the path they were taking. _With a jump that big,_ she thought, _I might be able to…!_

They leapt over the body.

Sure enough, in that instant, her captor's hand loosened just a fraction. Vera yanked loose and immediately spun, hands cupped around her mouth. "Usopp!" she cried, eyes wide as she searched for a familiar spot of color in the clashing sea of blue and white. "Luffy! Sanji! Tasuke–!"

_Snick! _

A backswung blade had come out of nowhere and slashed her arm open, just above the bicep. She shrieked and grabbed the wound, biting her lip as blood spilled down around her fingers – but, of course, her bad luck never just left her at one. It was always a one-two punch.

_BAM! _

At nearly the exact same moment, a man's elbow bashed into the back of her head, with more force than Vera thought possible to come out of a human body. The whiplash made the brunette nearly bite through her cheek, and she sprawled onto the street without a sound… a trail of blood trickling from her lips, dead to the world.

So much for a hallucination.

* * *

Mars saw her go down. "Crap!"

Bobbing and weaving through the smash of limbs, the commander doubled back to the unconscious otherworlder. She hunkered down by its side, evaluating the damage its body had taken: _Blade wound on the arm, possible head trauma_, Mars noted.

She jiggled the arm.

Blood welled up and over the slice, dripping in alarming volume onto the ground. _It's infuriating!_ the woman thought to herself, shaking her head; thoroughly exasperated about the fragility of these beings. _This wound would be nothing for me, but on this soft little pixie it needs to be bound soon or it might cause her to go into circulatory shock._

Suddenly, a broad Marine flew at her. "RAAAAAA –!"

Mars faced him – eyes gleaming through the air as she turned – and raised her warhammer.

BAM.

Cap and Juso's heads turned, attention claimed by the unexpected sound of a soldier's head being introduced to the ground. "Commander?" they asked in synch as their superior officer tore off a long strip of the Marine's coat and bound Rosethorne's wound with it.

Mars threw the otherworlder over her shoulder and raced after her men. "I know it's far from perfect but it'll keep her from bleeding out!" she barked.

She passed them. "Now let's _move_!"

"_Yes, sir!_"

Mars rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah…"

Cap and Juso followed her as she took the lead in their odd little triad, quickly resuming their hasty retreat from the battlefield. As a member of the Guard, sucking up your superior officer wasn't even a rule; in fact, more casual, friendly relationships were discouraged. She just couldn't help it that she and Captain Hideki were so… well, superior.

Mars scowled. _I still think he could have used my help…!_

**…**

Brook glanced up. "Ore?"

The sight that greeted the skeleton surprised him. Up until a moment ago, the noise of the battlefield had been all but deafening, but was surprisingly quiet now. Now, an army of five hundred Navy soldiers had been reduced to a few dozen stragglers, who Brook could see in the distance being picked off by the other Strawhats.

But… that wasn't what made the Soul King pause.

Up until now, he had been surrounded with the sparkling film of Vera-san's power – the strange phenomena that the skeleton had no doubt had assisted them in this battle – but now, the pearly glitter was fading from the air. It began to lose its luster, completely disappearing in sections. The star in his mind, too, was fading; but it didn't seem like the star itself was losing its power. Just getting… farther away.

Brook stood up straight. "How bizarre…"

"Tch, I know." Beside him, Zoro sheathed his swords and took the white blade out of his mouth. "It was almost _too_ easy. How boring."

"Hup!"

Luffy stretched his way over to the bulk of his nakama, a hand on his hat– a slight pout on his lips as he glanced around at the effortless carnage. "Yeah…" he agreed with Zoro.

A huge grin stretched his face. "But –!"

Luffy threw up his hands. "WE WON!"

"_YEAH_!"

The Strawhats rose up a victory cry. But in the mouth of Shizuka's alley, Hideki frowned.

_Their swordsman is right_, he thought, watching the pirates slap each other triumphant high-fives and fist pump the air. The guard captain looked down at the golden eyes of his goddess – where he always looked for answers. The Gale Dancer was shifting sporadically and nervously, as if insects had crawled inside of her dress._ This was too easy._

A drop of cold sweat ran down Hideki's back. _I have a bad feeling about this…_

* * *

"Itai…"

Vera flinched, rubbing her head as she slowly surfaced from the sticky black lake of unconsciousness. Her skull hurt something terrible – but it was nothing compared to her arm. The poor limb had its own heartbeat, hot and pulsing with pain.

Well, pulsing with a rhythm. For some reason… she was bouncing up and down.

Oh! Now it was apparent; someone was carrying her piggy-back style. A thick, mostly armored body, twined with bandages.

A ponytail brushed Vera's ear.

Immediately, the girl's body had the only reaction it could to the feeling of someone's hair swatting the inside of one of the most particular parts of her oratory; a massive, full-body spasm of a shiver, starting from her toes and shuddering all the way up to the crown of her head, trailing goosebumps all the way. "Yeee… AH HA!"

* * *

Mars glanced back at her burden, scowling._ Oh, great, the monster's awake._

* * *

Vera winced in the aftermath of her involuntary ear-spasm; the muscles twitched painfully around the white-hot slit in her arm.

She inhaled slowly, trying to ward off a bit of the dizziness. She wasn't squeamish around blood, but seeing – and losing – so much of her own was a whole other matter. And now, too, it became apparent that the person carrying her wasn't a Strawhat, like she'd been expecting, but the same prickly Japanese woman from before. But her abductor was being gentler in this new position; plus, now that they were out of immediate danger, Vera's fight or flight response had calmed, and could allow her body to relax. Her body still _hurt_, hallucination or not! But finally, she managed to raise her head off the other woman's shoulder and – curious as to where she was being taken – take a look around.

She, the woman, and two of her friends seemed to be running full-out down some kind of main drag. It was a wide cobblestone street, with tall buildings on either side. Vera spotted an overturned takoyaki stand, and realized with a start that she had been down this road before, with Luffy! Then, it had been packed with packed with people, noise, and light… but now, everything was desolate. Guttered lamps lay strewn on the sidewalks, and the air was dead silent. The only sounds were the echoes of her escort's footsteps, bouncing off the dark, abandoned buildings and trashed, overturned vending carts.

Vera pushed up, risking precarious balance to try and get a better look around. "What in the… GAH!"

Of course, at that moment, the universe decided to pull another fast one on her. She lost her grip and nearly fell right off her escort's back, but the woman who was carrying her jumped – and grabbed her butt to steady her, iron fingers squeezing almost painfully around the globe of muscle.

The brunette tensed up.

Then she relaxed. She stared over an armored shoulder at the side of her bearer's face.

"Ma'am, I don't mean to disappoint you by saying this," said she, painfully bluntly, "but I am straight as a board."

No one seemed to understand her around here, and she honestly hadn't been expecting her to _understand_ the comment… so it was needless to say Vera was very surprised – and embarrassed – when the woman answered back.

In English.

"Urusai, you ill-manner feak of nature!" came the snarling reply. "Befo I knock you out again!"

Vera flinched. _She understood me?! _

_Well…_

She shrank a bit inside her skin. _That's __**really**__ awkward…_

Then what she'd said registered, and Vera wilted even further against the armored back. "'Freak of nature?'" she repeated, only half to herself. She pursed her lips in an indignant pout. "Geez. I must admit I've never been called _that_ one before…"

* * *

Mars snarled and dropped her. "Bitch!"

* * *

Vera landed hard on her behind. The shock shot straight to her head and her bicep. Both her wounds flared with up in agony, then faded just as quickly, leaving a terrible, bone-deep ache that made her want to scream. Her vision flickered white for a moment; the slash throbbed horribly.

"OW!" Vera grabbed her arm, hissing in pain.

Furious tears in her eyes, she glared up at the woman. "What the heck is your problem?!" she demanded, not realizing it might not be a good idea to antagonize off a short, pissed-off Japanese person with a 1-ton sledgehammer in hand. "Do that again and I'll – _geez_, OW!"

* * *

Mars grit her teeth, glowering down in hate. She'd eaten things that didn't squall as much as this filthy alien whore! And it would be so easy to silence her. For good. She couldn't complain with her brains dashed all over the ground, could she?

Mars's fingers squeezed the handle of her dripping red weapon. Just one little swing…

"_**Take two of the others and evacuate the otherworlder to the security plaza! Keep it safe!"**_

Captain's orders.

The commander exhaled, and with some difficulty, squashed the urge. _It would have been so much hard for him to resist destroying this thing_, she told her more rebellious side. _It made have made him want to vomit – to tell me to _keep it safe_. Despite what her kind did to him._

Mars opened her eyes again.

And pointed with her hammer, at the great entrance of the amphitheater, behind the otherworlder. They had arrived.

* * *

"Go in."

Vera blinked in confusion, turned, and jumped. Behind her, there was what appeared to be at first glance a giant _mouth_, with bloodred lips and cheeks that extended farther than her peripheral vision could see. The rest of the face was obscured, as it faded out into blackest shadows as it neared the eyes. But upon closer examination – in the light of the flaming wreckage around – it was a humungous red _structure_ of some kind, circular in shape and bigger than the average planetarium. Whatever was inside, there was no guessing.

Vera stared wide-eyed for a moment.

Then, she glanced warily back at the stout Japanese woman. "Why?"

* * *

Mars resisted the urge to snarl at her. _This impudent –!_

* * *

She rolled her eyes. "Oh… You'll like it, ne? Juss go!"

Vera crossed her arms, careful to avoid her injury. "What do you mean, I'll 'like' it?" she asked crossly. "Hey, wait!" But the stranger was already gone, running as fast as her thick legs would carry her and mumbling irately in Japanese; unbeknownst to Vera, about thick-headed semikami not knowing their place.

Vera scowled at the woman's retreating back. _What does she mean, I'll 'like' it?_

She glared back at the red giant behind her, curiosity prickling at the back of her neck._ But it's strange_, thought she. _I'm getting the weirdest sense of déjà vu…_

* * *

A short distance north, Luffy glanced around, searching for one face in particular amongst his nakama.

"Oi, where's Vera?" he asked.

"Oh, Hideki said she was taken to the amphitheater in the security plaza," Usopp answered. "Sounds pretty safe to me. Don't worry, I'm sure no one's gonna get her there!"

"Oh." For a moment, the rubber man seemed a bit distraught – but then he grinned. "Well, that's fine!"

Brook sheathed Soul Solid, slowly allowing his nakama's voice to become background noise as he consulted his star. Vera had stopped moving now, and she seemed to be just fine. That was reassuring; but now, he sensed yet another presence on his radar. This one was _very_ different from Vera's white radiance, or even the subtle golden sparks from minutes before.

This one… was _BIG_.

Like, island-size big. Approaching from the west, sure and powerful as an aeon-old mammoth – yet hot and wet and _slimy_. Like the breath of a rapist, organic and disgusting as the maggots that writhed in the flesh of rotting corpses. Brook found his bones shivering uncontrollably, because the longer he tried to identify exactly what it was that was coming, the more confused, horrified, and sickened he became. The power… it was almost on top of them! Oh, God, it was –!

Something snapped in the atmosphere.

_"It's here."_

Without thinking, Brook turned his head towards the source of the voice. Behind him – wearing a grave expression that did not belong on such a baby face – Shizuka gazed at Hideki, her eyes gleaming gemlike in the darkness of the alley. _"You feel it, too."_

Her lips didn't move. But Hideki nodded.

The Soul King stared, eye sockets round as tea saucers. _Gale Dancer-sama was the voice from before?! _he realized with a start. Momentarily, he forgot the approaching threat._ But if she, then what is he –?_

**_Haaaaaah…_**

Then, the stars went dark, and every single hair on Brook's skull stood straight up.

From over the horizon it came. A wall of blood-colored fog – a thousand feet high and thicker than soup, consuming the sea, then the shore, then the island, then the city and all that was in it, clutching with hot, wet, reaching fingers. It moved faster than a natural mist. And it _stank_! It stank of fear and decay. And of ravenous hunger.

Brook couldn't see his finger bones in front of his face. It was just red. Red. Vision obscured, he began to turn – looking for something, anything to orient himself with – but it was all around. Red. Red. Red. Red! Red!

"Hello?!" he cried out, reaching. "Is anyone there?! HELLO!"

Nami stared at Brook, seeing nothing. "Yes, you can't see because you have no eyeballs to see with!" she sighed, exasperated. "Will you quit messing around?"

"No…"

The navigator turned to her captain. "Luffy?" she asked, sounding concerned. "What's wrong with you?"

The rubber man's face was pale and sweaty; so were Zoro's and Sanji's. The ones with the power of Observation. Their skin was clammy. They couldn't see anything… but their deepest instincts were telling them something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Nami stared at the other two. "What's wrong with _you_?"

Then, as Brook watched, the red fog began to condense. It collapsed in on itself, adapting a darker hue – more black than red, now – imploding into thin trunks, in which he could see tiny sparks of scarlet light. Their tips were malformed, strange, blunted. Like tentacles, they probed along the ground, swilling around the legs of his nakama. Flowing into the mouths and eyes of the Marines. The skeleton nearly cried out when one brushed his ribcage; he stumbled back…

Suddenly, Brook spotted something in his peripheral vision that made him stop and do the biggest double take of his afterlife.

Over there, by the alley's mouth… Hideki had thrown his arm in front of the Gale Dancer. That in itself wasn't all that strange; he was her protector, after all, and with carefree Luffy acting so unnerved he would definitely suspect something had run afoul in nature. But what boggled Brook's mind was that – despite the apparent truth that only he was able to see this mist – the guard captain was _looking straight at it_. And as the tentacles moved, he did as well. Constantly shifting his body so that he was always between the blood-colored fog and his youthful charge. They never touched him, nor her, but still he did it!

The skeleton stared at the man. _ He can… see them! But why can he, how can he –?_

Hideki winced.

At the same moment, a red spark flared.

Brook clutched his skull, gasping in pain. "Ah!" he flinched, then let go of his afro, starting to turn around to look for the source. White sparks – Vera's aura – didn't cause him _pain_. But this one crimson light… it smoldered against his consciousness, so hot it burned cold. It felt like he had swallowed a live ember. "O-Oh, my goodness! What in the –?!"

Hideki's eyes widened at something behind him.

Then, without warning, Shizuka whispered… in the deepest, most unnatural tone Soul King had ever heard on this earth.

"_Mother._"

Brook stared, his strange pain and fright momentarily forgotten. "'Mother?'"

Suddenly, Hideki swore. The skeleton jumped; taken by surprise as the man grabbed up the Gale Dancer, seized her tiny body to his chest, and _ran_ from the alley as if both their lives depended on it. Shizuka squirmed against his grip: "W-Wait!" she pleaded with her guardian. "Stop! It's mother! She is here!"

"_Don't start this again_!" Hideki ordered.

The Strawhats watched them go in stunned silence, the man's back disappearing from view with a swiftness none of them would have suspected of the laid-back guard captain.

Nami raised an eyebrow after him. "What's wrong with _him_?"

"Mother?" Brook repeated, tapping his jawbone in puzzlement. "Hmmm…"

Suddenly, behind them, someone spoke.

"Amphitheater, you sayyyyy…?"

* * *

Vera glanced at the entrance. It didn't look very dark inside. After all, it was nighttime, but the dome didn't seem thick enough to block out all of the illumination from the fire and starlight. Inside there should be enough to see by, but out here….

The girl leaned a little farther over, trying to look deeper. Nope. Just dark enough. She couldn't see what was inside from out here.

Vera glared up at the structure, like it was purposefully obstructing her. _This thing is taunting me._

* * *

The Strawhats slowly. Turned. Around.

From the ash and dust of his broken nest, Kizaru was rising back up… like a broken marionette yet pulled by the merciless yank of a puppetmaster's strings. Blood streamed from his face and mouth. His eyelids opened, but his eyeballs were rolled back in his skull – baring sclera spiderwebbed by pulsing scarlet threads. In Brook's vision, a hellish crimson fire burned in his belly. Tinged with black and throbbing to the same sluggish, erratic rhythm as the admiral's unnatural pulse.

His head snapped to the side with a sickening crunch of vertebrae.

"KIZARU IS A _MOTHER_?!" Brook shrieked, skeletal hands thrown skyward in surprise. "I'm shocked!"

Nami punched him. "DUMBASS!"

The red-eyed creature staggered to unsteady feet, staring unblinkingly over the Strawhats' heads. "Sayyyyyy…?" creaked and spluttered bloodsoaked vocal chords. "You sayyyy…?"

Luffy snarled, throwing up his fists. "You still wanna fight, monkey?! Bring it!"

"Yooooooouuuuu…"

"UWOOOOOOOOOOH –!"

"No, Luffy!"

Nami threw out an arm to stop him, too late. The rubber man bellowed a war cry and charged, hurling both hands backwards so fast Usopp and Sanji had to scramble to avoid being struck. "Gomu Gomu no –!"

Luffy launched his bazooka. "BA –!"

_Crack._

It never hit. Not even the Strawhats with Observation Haki saw it coming. One moment, the being stood there, not a thought in its brain… and the next, Kizaru's leg had compacted in on itself, whipped around, and buried itself in Luffy's gut as if on its own accord… eliciting a sickening, crunching pop below his belly button and to the right. The sound was like the crack of a whip. Or a thick rubber band snapping.

The scream that rose out of Luffy's throat was shapeless and animalistic, accompanied by a gruesome, acidic mix of blood, bile, and vomit. The mess was ejected with such velocity, drops splattered the cobblestones red from a dozen yards away. His nakama could only watch – horrified beyond words – as their captain lost consciousness.

Luffy collapsed to the street, eyes wide and staring. Stunned.

Kizaru's leg lowered itself. "Ooooh…?" the admiral's throat spluttered. He stumbled over the fallen pirate. "What was thaaaaaat…? A flyyyy…?"

Finally, the Strawhats found their voices.

"_**LUFFY!**_"

Chopper stared, not believing his own eyes, his own ears. _H-His appendix! It burst… from a single kick?!_

Suddenly, Brook doubled over, flinching and letting out tiny sounds of pain as more of the red flames popped into existence. Just as they kindled, more Marines rose – streaming blood, missing limbs, exposed bones and organs that pulsed with unnatural life in synch with the unifying, throbbing tempo of the red-and-black flames that burned in their bellies. The skeleton reeled as he saw the sheer number of them. They were even more than before.

_There have to be a thousand strong of these monsters!_ Brook realized with dread.

He stared through the haze of agony and fire, at the motionless form of their captain. _ And Luffy-san is… Luffy-san is –!_

"_Soul King Brook."_

The skeleton stiffened at this new voice in his head. It was that of a woman; a deep, feminine alto whispering out from the second source of Vera-san's star, scattering a golden glow of calm through his mind and soothing the pain from the red flames. He had heard this voice before.

"_Gale Dancer-sama?"_

**…**

"_Yes."_

Pressed against her guardian's hard chest, Shizuka had covered her eyes with her small, perfect hands, focusing as much as she could on the boney pirate's light. "_You _can_ hear me, can't you?"_ she reaffirmed.

_ "Well, yes, but –!"_

_ "Good, then listen to me, because I might only be able to say this once. Those soldiers aren't running on their own power. Someone – or something – else has interfered here. Something with infinitely more power than any of you, strong as you are. Take your friends and run, now. I will use my own powers to hold off the enemy."_

Shizuka reached deep into her mind's well of copper radiance. The ability that was her otherworldly mother's legacy. _"I am sorry," _she apologized,_ "but I will have to use you as a medium one more time."_

**…**

Brook's eye sockets widened.

"_A-A medium?_" he stammered._ "I-I would prefer not, the last time you did that was not exactly comfortable –!"_

She did it anyway.

Just like back in the central plaza, the Gale Dancer's presence compacted into a white-hot mass in the center of his mind, built on a bizarre sound – like a combination of a hiss and rattle, like his skull was filled with a thousand tiny copper rattlesnakes – and then was blinded by another massive golden flash. A horrible shriek accompanied it, akin to a teapot's angry whistle. Shizuka's power funneled through from his marrow, rushing forth from his bones. Stunning copper sparks sprayed into the sky. But unlike last time, when the embers fell to the ground… they sped off to the south. The chorus of lights disappeared in the night. Where they had gone was anyone's guess.

Brook gaped after them for a moment.

"WAS THERE A POINT IN THAT?!" the skeleton shrieked.

"Brace yourselves!" Zoro yelled. "It's coming!"

Brook whipped around, to see that while he had served as medium for the Gale Dancer, the creature Kizaru had become had raced into the Strawhat crew's midst – leg raised for another catastrophic blow.

"Byeeee byeeee…!" the monster squealed.

Zoro, Sanji, Robin, and Franky spread their legs apart, bracing for impact. Nami, Usopp, and Chopper shrieked in terror. The skeleton yelped and covered his head – then, Shizuka's voice came again.

"_Your friends might want to back up."_

Brook blinked. _Back up?_

Kizaru's leg came down.

**BOOM. **

A massive shockwave nearly blew Brook head over heels into a bunch of trash cans. As it was, the lightweight skeleton was launched back several feet before he managed to regain his footing. He gasped, panting for breath.

Then, the smoke cleared. And Brook shrieked.

Three of the golden-eyed creatures from the plaza had materialized out of thin air to stop the admiral's attack dead in its tracks. Two were men, the other a young woman no older than Nami-san. Just like before, they wore yukatas. Citizens. Festivalgoers. And now, made unnatural monsters by a higher power… just like the Marines had been.

Kizaru wore no expression of surprise. "Oooooh…?" he droned.

The scarlet-eyed admiral lowered his leg, backing up from the triad of golden-eyed as behind him, in the ranks of the hundreds of mutated soldiers, even more of Kibo Hana's creatures rose up through the cobblestone street. For a long moment, neither of the monsters seemed to notice each other. They just stood there – unnatural eyes glowing, ethereal fires shimmering within their veins.

The pirates, meanwhile, gaped openly.

"N-No way…!" Usopp croaked, on the verge of tears with terror.

Robin swallowed. "The beings from the plaza?"

Zoro gripped his swords, eyes wide. "What the hell are these things?!" the marimo demanded. "And where'd they all come from?!"

* * *

She stared down the entrance for a whole minute, but finally, Vera realized had no choice but to face the truth.

"Aw, screw it."

She had to peek. Vera bent over, her brown eyes straining; making one last attempt to discern something – anything – inside the structure. But as she half-hoped, it proved fruitless. So she straightened, took a bracing breath, and strode inside.

Her first impression was that of color, or rather, the scheme of it. The orange light of the flames flickering outside filtered through the red dome to create a dim, almost frightening scarlet half-light. The space was huge, too! Looking up, she could barely see the ceiling, swathed in shadow and silence. Then, looking down, Vera glanced around.

No one else was here. She was alone.

* * *

Cap and Juso glanced up, and happened to notice something in the distance.

"Commander!" they yelped in unison. "Unidentified figure at 12 o'clock!"

Mars glanced up. "Hm?"

She frowned as she, too, spotted the figure running towards them. She squinted, unsure who it was; but as it came closer, Mars recognized Hideki – holding the Gale Dancer close to his chest. "Morons!" she scolded them. "It's the captain!"

"Sir!" Cap and Juso chorused, stopping in the middle of the street and saluting as their superior raced towards them.

Mars stopped too. "Geez…!" she panted, bracing her hands on her knees for a moment. She was reaching her threshold on this pain thing – but still, she managed to straighten up when Hideki approached.

"All citizens evacuated, captain," she grunted.

Hideki darted between his subordinates, holding Shizuka like a football. "Not anymore," he informed her.

Mars blinked.

Then the commander turned on her heel and raced after him. "Excuse me, _what_?!" she demanded, matching his pace as Cap and Juso scrambled to catch up. "What is that supposed to mean?! If the citizens aren't evacuated, then where in –?"

"Shh. Gale Dancer's using powers. On them."

Mars glanced wide-eyed at Shizuka. The tiny goddess was covering her eyes – as if about to play peekaboo – but the woman knew very well that unveiling this mystery had far more dangerous consequences. "Dear Oda!" she exclaimed in a whisper. "Twice in as many months? Against what?! Don't tell me those G5 cockroaches were enough to –?!"

"Yes and no."

Something in her captain's voice made Mars pause. She glanced up at him, analyzing his expression as he continued: "She knew something would happen. Couldn't see exactly what. Which means –!"

Mars's eyes narrowed. Hideki's face was drawn and bloodless, pale as death, and his words were sharp, short, and clipped as she'd ever heard them. He had just witnessed something frightening… and not just from present memory. Past ones, as well.

"An otherworlder…!" she growled.

The commander faced forward again, her shining black hair flying in the wind. "Anyone we know?"

"Don't think so," Hideki replied tersely. "Power came from over the sea. At the very least from the next island. Dark red aura. Never seen anything like it."

Mars's mouth twisted bitterly. "_Shit_!" she swore. "I _hate_ it when things get complicated!"

Hideki placed a protective hand over Shizuka's ear. "Oi."

Mars rolled her eyes. "Sorry, I forget," she apologized halfheartedly as they hurtled south down the main road, back towards the security plaza. "No cussing around the deity."

**…**

Meanwhile, back in that quiet backstreet of Kibo Hana…

One of the golden-eyes clacked their teeth.

That one tiny sound did it. As if some invisible spell of tranquility had been broken all to pieces… all Hades broke loose.

Unearthly shrieks rent the air as the two armies engaged each other. Both moved with blinding speed. Weapons clashed on iron skin. Showers of sparks ignited rivers of napalm and gasoline, twisting tornadoes of fire through the tangle of bodies. Daggers and swords flew through the air like deadly silver darts, both from the throats of the golden-eyed and the hands of the red-eyed. In the chaos, Brook's eyes played tricks on him. He thought he saw a small child transform into a snow-white wolf the size of a small building, before engaging a huge Marine with both his arms missing. Their teeth snapping, each unable to get a grip on the other for their indestructible flesh. But for the Soul King, the most dazzling part of it all was the _lights_. It was like watching a fireworks finale right there on the ground. Red and black and gold and white, clashing and spinning up into the atmosphere in bright corkscrews of fire before coming back to earth with a thunderous _bang_! Each impact threw off a shockwave – and with hundreds and hundreds of strikes in an instant, impossibilities and transformations left and right – trying to stay close to the battle was like trying to tame a tsunami of wind and flame.

It was terrifying. And positively glorious.

"Amazing…!" Brook breathed.

Chopper and Usopp clung to each other, looking less than thrilled. "_So_ _scary_!" they sobbed in unison.

Suddenly, a bulge protruded from the center of the war and burst in a spray of shrieks and flying bodies. Kizaru ascended shakily on a guttering column of crimson light – like a corrupted, ill-conceived version of his original devil power – trailing clinging golden-eyed as he went.

"Amphitheater, you sayyyyyy… sayyyy… sayyyy?" chanted that wet, broken croak from his throat like a broken record. "A-A-A…? Sayyyyyy?!"

Nami risked squinting up, half-blinded and -deafened by the battle of the Red versus Gold. "Why does he keep saying that?!" she shrieked.

Then it occurred to her.

_**Luffy glanced around. "Oi, where'd Vera go?"**_

_** "Oh, Hideki said she was taken to the amphitheater in the security plaza," Usopp answered. "Sounds pretty safe to me. Don't worry, I'm sure no one's gonna get her there!"**_

The navigator's cinnamon brown eyes went round. _Oh no!_

"Somebody stop him!" Nami screamed to be heard over the noise. "He's still going after Vera-chan!"

Zoro and Sanji stared up at the monstrous admiral's irregular, jerking path to the south. "_No, he's not_!"

The cook and the swordsman launched themselves into the sky at the same time – which, unfortunately, brought each of them to the other's attention. And so, in hindsight, a conflict was inevitable.

"Oi, marimo!" Sanji called mockingly. "I'm surprised to see you up here! Did you get lost?! The ground is _that_ way!"

"Shut the hell up, you pervert cook!"

The blonde just smirked, tossing his golden fringe. "_Sorry_," he said, not sounding apologetic in the least. "I thought you weren't into saving damsels in distress! Why don't you go play with your little kiddie swords and leave this to the professionals? _Amateur_!"

"Have you been under a rock all night, 'Professional-san?!' I've been covering that chijo's ass all night, and I'm sure as hell not gonna let you mess it up now!"

"What'd you say about Vera-chan's ass?!" Sanji demanded, grabbing Zoro by the front and getting in his face. "Stay away from her or I'll fillet you, you shitty swordsman!" The bickering continued… neither of them seeming to realize they were still flying through the air on a collision course with Kizaru.

"Shitty cook!"

"Green shit!"

"Dumb blonde!"

"Stray moss!"

"Question!"

* * *

Vera blinked as her eyes adjusted.

"Well, this is crap! There's nothing here!" she pouted. Rolling her eyes, she made for the exit. "That woman was just playing mind games w–!"

* * *

Just then, both Zoro and Sanji were blown away by Kizaru's wake, smashing into the street with enough force to shake the entire city.

_**BOOM!**_

* * *

The floor lurched to the right.

"GAH!" Vera staggered, then flailed to the left as she overcompensated for her weight. Her foot slammed to the ground and the girl's arms pinwheeled, very slowly for a moment… but finally she found her balance. There she waited, lungs heaving.

* * *

Nami gaped at the smoldering craters on the opposite sides of the street. "_Zoro! Sanji-kun!_" she cried.

A beat passed.

Then, Sanji broke free of the wreckage, a tick in his forehead. "What'd you call me?!" the cook roared, grinding his cigarette between his teeth. "'Question?!' That doesn't even make sense, you asshole!"

Zoro stood up, sloughing dust and broken bricks off his back. "It's your eyebrow!" he snarled, voice a deep rumble in his chest. "It's curly, like a question mark! Don't ask questions, Question!"

Sanji's eyebrow twitched. "You son of a…!"

The two launched themselves at each _other_ this time, yelling and screaming as they kicked, stabbed, slashed, and just tried to kill the other in general.

"GIVE IT A REST!" Nami shrieked at them.

The navigator then whirled on Chopper. "Chopper, you gotta grab Luffy! We have to get out of here!"

The look on the redhead's face was not one to be argued with; the doctor switched to Heavy Point and went to do as he was bid. Usopp, however, remained where he was seated. "Where are we going?" the sharpshooter asked.

"After the Admiral!"

Usopp nearly swallowed his own tongue. "'_After the Admiral?!_'" he repeated incredulously, choking a little bit. "You want to go _after_ the guy who just blew Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji over like newborn kittens?!"

Nami shot him a look of desperation. "Usopp, think about it!" she told him, gesturing madly at the warring creatures behind her. "If we can't handle this kind of heat, Vera sure can't! Once she's out of the line of fire then we can regroup and strategize, maybe even figure out a way to take down these monsters, but right now she's in serious danger! Rescuing her is our first priority!"

Chopper popped back out of the warzone, Luffy's limp body over one shoulder. "I got him!" the reindeer gasped.

"Great! Which way was the security plaza?!"

Robin pointed. "That way!"

_**BOOOOOM!**_

The eight Strawhats clamped their hands over their ears, wincing as another gas explosion shattered the air.

"Then haul ass!" Nami bellowed. "RUN!"

**…**

"So you just left the Strawhats there?" Mars asked dubiously.

Hideki shifted his grip on Shizuka, trying his best not to disturb the child as they sprinted down the street. "If they're smart, they ran," he replied. "If not… the Semikami's Curse would have killed them soon enough anyway."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

_ CRASH!_

Suddenly, several dozen yards ahead of Hideki and Mars, the Strawhats smashed screaming through a building just ahead of a blazing fireball and landed in an enormous, shouting, complaining pile on the street.

Mars stared flatly. "Guess they went with smart."

Coming to a stop beside the massive tangle of arms and legs, Hideki made a quick assessment of their pirate guests. No one was dead, at least with what he could see. A few bruises or burns here and there, but none of them the worse for wear.

Except for Strawhat Luffy.

Hideki raised his eyebrows at the captain – who lay unmoving on the shoulder of the crew's furry doctor, unconscious. His eyes were wide open and blank, his cheeks, chin, and chest splattered with blood; as if he had coughed it up. "What happened to him?" the soldier asked.

Chopper yanked himself free of his nakama. "One of his minor organs just exploded, asshole!" the reindeer sobbed. Tears streamed down his face as he whipped out a sheet from his medical bag – which had somehow magically appeared from who-knows-where – spread it on the street, and rolled Luffy onto it. "I have to operate on him before the damage becomes permanent! I need six people on standby!"

"What?!" Nami yelped, waving her hands at their surroundings. "Here in the middle of the street?! That's hardly sanitary!"

"I have no choice!"

"But what about the admiral?!"

"What _about_ the admiral?" Mars interjected, crossing her arms.

"He's heading towards the amphi-whatsit! We have to rescue Vera-chan before he gets there or –!"

Hideki turned around, just in time to spot a figure as it reached the scarlet hemisphere of the amphitheater.

"Too late."

The others turned, helpless – as Kizaru brought his leg down with a red-on-red flash of immeasurable, catastrophic force onto the security blanket. Its impact shuddered down into the foundations, with enough leftover force to rock the island like a seaquake. Kibo Hana's ground slammed under their feet. More than a few of them were knocked onto their behinds… and those left standing could only watch in horror, waiting for the red building to collapse in on itself. Surely, nothing could withstand an impact like that!

* * *

Vera blinked, thoroughly puzzled. _What the –?_

But that was all she had time to think. The floor yawed violently away from her a second time; steel girders thick as an elephant's legs creaked under the cloth walls, shuddering in protest at their abuse. Vera yelped as her legs were lifted, then slammed to the concrete again. Her knees buckled. She threw her hands out in front of her, barely avoiding a broken nose when the next concussion came.

_What is HAPPENING?!_

* * *

Far in the distance, eleven spectators watched nervously as the surface of the amphitheater jiggled like jello in an earthquake…

But somehow, it held.

_"EEEEH?!"_

"What?!" Nami yelped. "How in the world can that thing still be standing?!"

"Sugoi…!" Usopp gasped.

Even Robin was taken aback by the hardiness of the huge structure. _What is it made of, to withstand such an attack? _the beautiful archeologist marveled. But then she remembered. _Ah! That's right…_

_**"Not bad, eh?" Hideki said, pulling out a chair for her. "Biggest building in town, so big it can be an emergency shelter for the whole city. Made of security blanket. The stuff's waterproof, fireproof, bladeproof, coldproof, heatproof, and totally soundproof. Not even light can get through this bad boy." **_

"That structure is made of security blanket."

Everyone looked over at Robin's exclamation. She glanced at Hideki. "That's how it could repel an Admiral's kick, ne?"

Hideki smiled tightly at the archeologist. "Good, Robin. Very good."

Sanji's hackles went up. "Oi, where the hell do you get off calling Robin-chwan by her first name?!" the cook demanded, poking a finger in Hideki's face. "You don't even know her, you – oh."

Without a word, the guard captain handed the Gale Dancer to him.

Taken by surprise, Sanji started when he suddenly found himself with an armful of plump baby goddess. "What?" he said, raising his curly eyebrows after Hideki. "Why are you–?"

"Right now, Shizuka-sama has imbued every citizen on this island with her power. Without it, they'll die in an instant against those Navy monsters. But she needs focus to do it. Disturb her, and you'll be responsible for the deaths of hundreds if not thousands of innocent people. No pressure."

Sanji made a strangled sound, gaping in terror at the deceptively innocent-looking child hanging in his hands.

"Also…"

Hideki walked around the speechless cook. "Drop her, and I'll make sure you'll never drop anything again."

Sanji shut his mouth.

Mars's mouth tightened with disapproval, and was about to tell her captain as much, when she saw Hideki pull off his gauntlets. He stripped every weapon off his belt but his golden-edged sword, the blade especially forged for his greatest fighting techniques – Iris – and set them in a neat row on the ground. He _never_ did that. Unless…

Her eyes widened. "W-Wait."

The Strawhats all stared at the rogue commander. They'd _never_ heard her stutter before.

Mars stepped towards Hideki's back, as the younger man checked his sheath for catches or dents. "Don't tell me –!"

The guard captain rolled his shoulders, then began to stretch. "Citizens are under Shizuka-sama's protection. Buildings can be rebuilt. But that guy needs to be stopped _now_."

"What?!" Nami yelped. "What can _you_ do that we haven't already tried?!"

"And if the security blanket is impenetrable, why hurry?" Robin asked. "We can devise a strategy, and maybe –"

Hideki straightened. "Not the security blanket that's the problem. The amphitheater's foundations were never built to withstand that kind of attack," he replied. "Take a few more hits like that, anything'd collapse. Want your otherworlder to be squashed under a couple hundred tons of steel and concrete while you 'devise a strategy?' Be my guest."

"Are you crazy?! He just blew Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji-kun over like bowling pins!"

Hideki ignored the Strawhat navigator. Nami sputtered like boiling teapot, then whirled on Mars. "You're his girlfriend!" she barked. "Are you just gonna let him dive into something that dangerous?!"

Mars twitched.

"What are you – AH!"

Nami yelped in protest as Mars grabbed the front of her yukata and dragged her down, so that their noses were less than an inch apart. "All right… three things, pirate bitch," she told the taller woman, a tick pulsing in her forehead. "One? Call me his girlfriend again, and I'll really spill your guts this time. Two, with his techniques, it's not _him_ you have to worry about! And third…"

Suddenly, she seemed to hesitate.

Then, she abruptly released the navigator. "Tch."

Nami yanked away. "Geez, what's wrong with you?! I'm just saying maybe you should cut your losses and –!"

The shorter woman grit her teeth, then looked away. "With that kind of attitude, I don't suppose you can understand the third."

The orange-haired woman closed her mouth.

Something changed in Mars's tone. "But…"

Nami rubbed her chest, disgruntled – then followed her gaze to land on Hideki's broad back. "Even though he's younger than I am – and, okay, I'd be the first to admit that he can be stupidly reckless," Mars admitted, watching the guard captain preform his final stretches. "but aren't all men like that? He's my captain for a reason. He's been through hell in his lifetime, and he's had all the excuses to just give up and die! But he is strong, and loving, and honorable, a mentor and a true friend, and is true to his word. So you can just shut your mouth and respect his choice. Because I won't give a damn if you say otherwise."

Nami blinked. That look in Mars's eyes, her words, her tone; they perfectly matched the fierce loyalty and faith that she herself – that the entire Strawhat crew – had in their own captain.

She looked back at the two other men, that always stood by Mars. That always had her back, her trust. Did all those blue-armored knights feel the same way about him? Feel such loyalty and protectiveness to Shizuka as well as each other?

Then it hit her. How would they feel in the Guard's situation?

Their home invaded, their nakama fighting, their most precious possession and power threatened? Then a bunch of snot-nosed kids come in and try to tell them when to quit. They would never let anyone say such things. They would never quit. They would never hesitate. And they would _never_ stop.

Nami bowed her head to Mars.

"I'm sorry," she apologized in earnest. "I was out of line."

Her nakama's jaws hit the ground. _NAMI IS APOLOGIZING?!_

_The sea is a strange place…_

A nervous drop of sweat trickled through Chopper's fur. Then he went back to spraying disinfectant onto Luffy's lower belly; he had to hurry. The area was already starting to turn an ugly, blotchy blackish-red with blood from the burst organ.

Meanwhile, the dark-haired woman harrumphed and crossed her arms, looking down her nose indignantly on the lowered tangerine-colored head of the navigator.

"Yes," she replied, a slight blush on her cheeks. "Yes, you were."

"Fighting for my honor, Marsie?" Hideki called. A trollish smile on his lips, he bounced on the balls of his feet, gauging the force it would take to jump onto one of the high buildings. "Good girl. I'll buy you a cookie when I get back."

"I DON'T WANT A COOKIE!"

"Then I'll eat it."

Hideki's leg muscles bunched. His eyes narrowed. "Wish me luck."

"_Good luck_," the three Guards and nine Strawhats droned.

Another concussive impact verberated through the air. Hideki turned towards its source. He had no idea who, or what, was strengthening their attackers. What had provided this immeasurable power. He was going in blind. _But still_, he thought. _Can't just stand by. Not when __**that**__ is at stake._

He steeled himself. _Here goes nothing –!_

"Hold on."

Hideki stopped, just before he launched himself onto the rooftops, and turned back; the Strawhats stared as one of their nakama stepped forward.

"Zoro…?"

Roronoa Zoro planted his feet in front of Hideki. The hilts of his three katana chimed against each other as their master scowled stubbornly, folding his arms across his chiseled chest.

"I'm going with you," the green-haired pirate stated.

Mars opened her mouth, but Zoro overrode the Guard commander – all the while never breaking eye contact with her captain. "I'm a swordsman, too," said he. "Don't get me wrong, I'd be just fine whether that perverted otherworldly chijo lives _or_ dies, but if our captain were awake… he'd want to save her. And aside from him, the only ones that could keep up with us are Idiot Lovely over there –" Zoro jerked his thumb at Sanji. "Who's now on babysitting duty, apparently –"

The blonde cook made a face at the marimo; he wouldn't risk disturbing the Gale Dancer with a verbal rebuke.

Zoro pointed over his other shoulder at Chopper. "– And our doctor's Jumping Point, but he's getting ready to perform an honest-to-shit _C-section_ on our captain in the middle of the street."

"What is he, pregnant?!" Usopp shrieked in the background.

The swordsman scowled. "Which just leaves me. And honestly…"

Zoro crossed his arms again, his one emerald black eye gleaming fiercely in the shadow of his bandana. "I've been curious about your fighting style ever since we arrived," said he. "The shape of your sword – it had to be made custom to suit your techniques. I'm right, aren't I?"

The guard captain blinked. "Her name's Iris. She's a good girl. And you are…?"

"Roronoa Zoro. I use Santoryuu."

Hideki looked the other swordsman up and down. Measuring him up. In proper etiquette between swordsmen, openly giving the name of one's fighting style was akin to sports captains shaking hands before their teams clashed in battle; a sign of friendship, but a brusque, aggressive, and very temporary one at that. Acknowledging him, and giving the name of his swordstyle in return, would be forging an unspoken agreement to fight in the future. By the smug look on his face, the green-haired pirate knew perfectly well it was a challenge as well as a pact.

And while they were wearing the same uniform, too.

The guy had balls.

Hideki smirked. "I use the Zephyrus Style."

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Zephyrus?"

"Based in the Navy training academies. With mixed martial arts and a few tweaks of my own. Forged right under the nose of old ex-fleet admiral Buddha Sengoku himself."

Zoro's eye widened slightly.

There was an uproar amongst the Strawhats. "_**WHAAAAAAT**_?!"

"Yup. When that rabid hellhound Sakazuki took over, though," Hideki continued. "Hell, wasn't gonna put up with that. Not that I had any say in it. Was assigned to this island's Marine base even before the War of the Best. But…"

In the back of Hideki's mind, the past reared its ugly head.

The guard captain took a bracing breath, forcing himself to relax. "A lot happened. The Navy labeled me a rogue asset, but by then I'd already quit."

He offered his arm to Zoro, showing teeth to his challenger. "Guess I was just too scary for them."

The green-haired man seemed more than a bit taken aback, as did the members of the Gale Dancer's Guard that were present. Mentioning their captain's being a former Marine was a bigger taboo than suggesting Commander Mars would look good in a dress; the circumstances surrounding his "retirement" were even more untouchable. To think he would even hint at it so openly to a stranger – and a hostile _pirate_ on top of that – was unthinkable.

Then, something occurred to Mars, who knew enough of swordsmen's etiquette to interpret the signs. _Oh, I get it,_ she realized, staring intently at Hideki's proffered forearm. _It's a test. At this point, there's no way out of challenging him without looking the coward. Either he's got the balls, or he doesn't!_

But then, Roronoa Zoro grinned.

"Interesting!"

And he clasped Hideki's forearm, sealing the agreement.

Mars smiled. Her captain looked pleased. She could see that when it came to matters of the sword, the grins of those two men matched; white and strong and predatory as two alpha wolves. _Those two are cut from the same cloth,_ thought she._ No doubt about it._

"Alright then." Hideki released Zoro's forearm and turned. "Try to keep up."

He vanished.

Zoro grinned. "Who do you think you're talking to?!"

He vanished, too.

Nami gazed nervously after them – the swordsmen reduced to all but invisible blurs of speed in the sublime light of the stars and moon, and their silhouettes only fleeting black flashes against the harsh red beams of Kizaru's corrupted power. Another impact shuddered through the air.

"I hope they'll be safe…" she murmured, half to herself as she watched the amphitheater jump and bounce in the distance.

"No point in hoping now."

The navigator looked at Mars. The shorter woman had crossed over to where Chopper was, crouching next to the little reindeer. "All you can do is cover your head, hold onto something, and pray to God you won't get sucked in. Anything I can do here, raccoon?"

Chopper was too focused on the path of the scalpel to even catch her "raccoon" remark.

"Yeah," he replied. "Hand me those forceps. The small ones."

Nami looked away, favoring to hunt along the walls for a good handhold as Mars handed Chopper the tool. She didn't want to see Luffy's insides. And besides, from the commander's description…

All hell was about to break loose! Again!

* * *

_BOOM_!

The ground concussed again. Vera scrambled backward on her hands and knees. Her back nestled up against the cloth wall, and there, she curled into a ball – memories of elementary school earthquake drills coming back to her under duress – scared and confused.

Oblivious to her spreading power.

* * *

An unexpected light made Brook turn from his duty of siphoning off Luffy's blood. What he saw rendered the skeleton speechless.

In his vision, sparks had caught near the lower edge of the amphitheater's structure. Now, a great wave of pale, shimmering fire bleached the scarlet security blanket to a corpselike hue – like something had been taken away from it. Something vital.

"Oh, my…!"

…

Hideki suddenly swore.

Zoro started. He glanced around to see the soldier had stopped; landing on a building several blocks behind the Santoryuu swordsman. "What're you stopping for?!" he yelled.

Hideki unsheathed his sword. "Power's negating the security blanket!" he bellowed back, raising Iris above his head. "Gotta do it now!"

"What?!" Zoro looked at the scarlet structure. "I don't see anything! How can you tell?!"

"Can't explain now! Just get out of the way!"

Zoro's eyes narrowed, but something in the Zephyrus swordsman's tone told him it would be unwise to disobey. He landed on the nearest roof – luckily, it was flat; maybe a bakery or something. The marimo turned back. "What does he think he's gonna do from there?" he muttered to himself, looking between Hideki and the amphitheater. "We're still at least a mile away…"

_Hoooooo…_

The guard captain swung Iris experimentally. _Okay._

He took a bracing breath, adjusting his hand around her hilt, breathing in… and then out. Letting everything else fade away but him and his blade. And – one other thing. A memory. A memory both so precious and so hated. A recollection that was both his greatest weakness and his greatest strength. It was what gave him this power. The ability that had escaped the grasp of so many masters of the blade.

In.

Out.

In…

There. Hideki could feel it. The rhythm of the golden-edged steel, humming against his fingers like the cautionary growl of a wildcat. He eased his grip just to _that_ place, where he could barely sense his weapon's voice – only a kitten's purr in the quiet. Then, slowly, deliberately. He raised the murmuring sword.

"_**Zephyrus**_…"

Hideki's eyes flashed open. "_**RAZOR VOID!**_"

He clenched down on his hilt, feeling the shriek of the blade in his very veins, and swung.

Zoro waited.

And waited.

A full three seconds passed. The green-haired swordsman raised an eyebrow. _Was something supposed to happen? _he wondered. _Sheesh, that's embarrassi…_

Then, a foreboding rumble shuddered through the atmosphere.

Every hair on Zoro's neck stood straight up.

The Santoryuu swordsman snapped his head, looking into the place where the sound had emerged. It just looked like an ordinary patch of sky. But then, suddenly, the air shivered…

And with a great surge of the heavens, split open like a ripe grape.

A long, black-violet gash burst forth, slitting the sky at a speed light could barely match and wrapping itself in ropes around Kizaru's form. In the blink of an eye, all that was visible of the admiral was a writhing cocoon of dancing black radiance – the epicenter of a hungry, ever-expanding mouth, spreading its fingers through the sky over Kibo Hana. Even from this distance, Zoro's ears popped. Skin stretched tight on his face. Air pressure thundered. Without the protection of security blanket, small and tall buildings alike were blown away around the amphitheater – steel and concrete and brick, all sucked into the deadly mouth and ejected as waves of dark grit sprayed into the stratosphere; debris, pulverized so perfectly it held the semblance of dark sand. As he watched, even more veins of that strange blacklight opened… forever rising, forever starving. To witness such complete destruction on such a large scale.

It was like watching the end of the world.

_Did he…? _Zoro stared, his one eye wide with disbelief and envy at the incredible display before him. _Did he just cut air?_

Suddenly, the marimo's thoughts were interrupted by a disturbance in the pattern of the sandfall, about half a mile away and coming in fast.

Aftershock.

**FOOM.**

Zoro was able to brace himself in time. But when the shock hit, it hit _hard_… punching his front like the forcepalm of a furious giant. If not for his incredibly disciplined body, Zoro would have been knocked flying. Even so, he immediately doubled over, trying to make less of a target of himself, but still the angry winds pushed at him with undeniable force. He felt the bottoms of his boots creaking, skidding slowly back across the rooftop. Finally he got to his knees and managed to stop – particles of threshed wood and glass and steel shrieking around his head, pinging and scraping along his exposed skin.

_Shit! _Zoro thought, flinching and covering his head. _It's strong–!_

* * *

The sound of tearing fabric drew Vera's panicked eyes to the ceiling. A whipping gale had suddenly torn the structure's cloth covering to so many large shreds, letting in beams of radiance – an unexpected strange, shade like violet blacklight – that pierced her retinas like javelins. She felt her pupils contract painfully. Multicolored dots swarmed across her vision, blinding her.

Just as the shockwave hit.

A shriek tore its way out of Vera's throat as she felt herself tossed three feet off the floor, then hurled back down again with a bruising thud. She'd feel that in the morning.

Vera pulled her face off the floor, cringing. _What is this, some kind of freak tornado?! _she demanded of her hallucination. _ This is just like when –!_

She froze.

_This is just like when… I came to this world in the first place!_

Vera's gaze darted around like a dragonfly on the water, beaming with joy as everything fell into place. _Of course! There was a white dome then and a red dome now, a Japanese guy then and a Japanese woman now… and the shaking just like before! My subconscious must be replaying the last things it remembers from reality as best it can, trying to tell me I'm on my way out! Yata!_

She staggered to her feet, eyes fixed on the bent-in ceiling.

If memory served, in a second, there'd be one last shock – and she'd be on her way!

* * *

Miles away, Chopper pulled the last of Luffy's stitches tight.

"Phew!" he sighed. "All finished!"

The little reindeer leaned back from his patient, letting Robin dab his forehead with a sponge. Mars blew a raspberry and rocked on her haunches. She patted her roughly bandaged wrists and winced; the bleeding had stopped a good half hour ago, but the strips of cloth she'd used to patch herself up were nearly soaked through with all the fighting she'd been doing.

"I'll need to change these soon…"

Suddenly, a distant sound caught her attention. Mars stiffened.

"Get down."

"Hah?" Chopper glanced at her. "What?"

"AFTERSHOCK!" Mars bellowed. She threw herself to the street, covered her head with her hands, and clenched her muscles for impact. "GET _DOWN_!"

Nami blinked. "Wha –?"

**FOOOOOOM.**

In a blinding flash of blue-black light, an iron fist of wind, sand, and raw fury blew over the unprepared Strawhats easier than a winter storm would a pile of long-dead autumn leaves. Nami screamed as she was hurled into a wall and pinned there by what felt like at least three tons of negative air pressure which – with her hypersensitive navigator's awareness to changes in the air – for an instant, fooled her senses into thinking she was right in the middle of a ship-destroying, mutant bastard child of all New World storms. Her ears popped. She tasted blood and ozone. Chopper's medical instruments flew everywhere, like deadly silver darts. The rest of her nakama had either copied Mars, lying flat on the ground, or pinned up against the wall like Nami. Luffy, with no way to brace himself, had been knocked twice as far as any of them; his motionless body had been hurled into a brick wall, bounced off, and now lay sprawled on the ground, still completely unconscious.

Franky buried his huge fingers into the concrete. "What is that?!" the cyborg screamed, trying his best to keep from being blown away, with such a large surface area.

"Razor Void!" Mars yelled back over the roar of her captain's attack. "It's a slash technique, so powerful it creates a massive vacuum where it hits! It literally cuts the air!"

**…**

Iris howled in her master's grip.

Hideki cringed – and with titanic effort – wrapped his other hand around her hilt, muscles quivering as he struggled to get a handle on the vicious backlash of this technique. His sword shrieked and thrashed against him, her broken golden tip glowing red-hot with the creation of void itself. "Hurry!" he yelled to the wide-eyed Zoro. "Go! Can't keep this up forever, you know!"

The green-haired swordsman looked at Hideki.

Then down at the maelstrom, at the veins of deadly blacklight bursting open to shred steel and concrete like a wheat thresher did grain, with no way to predict whether an unexpected surge would part the air and swallow him whole to discharge him as a tiny pile of red marimo-dust.

Zoro steeled himself, then lunged into the typhoon.

Even for one of the most superhumanly powerful, agile, and stubborn creatures in existence, the passage through the Razor Void was perilous. Zoro leapt from building to building with increasing difficulty, the slipstream pulling at him harder and harder, as he got closer to the tattered amphitheater. The dry, ravenous wind plucked at him with hungry fingers. Dark, silvery grit whistled through the air at horrifying velocity, tearing at his clothes and scouring his exposed flesh. In seconds, Zoro felt like his entire body had been scrubbed raw with steel wool and bathed in lemon juice. But still he fought the drag, stinging and hurting and bleeding from thousands of tiny cuts, and reached the edge of the amphitheater.

Suddenly, as he passed Kizaru's black cocoon, Zoro felt his body fly upward in an alarming tug of the slipstream. It was far stronger here than he would have anticipated.

A bubble of panic swelled in his chest. _Oh, shit!_

He flailed for something to grab onto. Luckily, his fingers found the edge of a battered steel beam, protruding from the top of the amphitheater's wrecked framework. Zoro grabbed it and held on for dear life.

Dragging his body back down, the marimo's good eye flicked upwards to the bulging, purple-black mass of void that inked out the stars around Kizaru. By now, surely the Logia had to be shredded into particles.

But, he was astonished to see there was still a struggling form within it!

_What the hell?! _Zoro exclaimed internally. He didn't trust himself to open his mouth; in this precarious position in chaos, he might bite his own tongue off. _If it's this bad down here, it's gotta be a thousand times worse in that thing! I don't care if he's an Admiral or not! How is that guy still in one piece?!_

**…**

Mars had seen it, too. "It's actually pretty ironic!"

The commander yelled to be heard over the noise, hands over her ears as she continued. "The only thing that can't pass through the Razor Void is _light_!" she told the cringing Strawhats. "I guess it's the only way that Glimmer Logia could _ever_ get trapped in _anything_! Anything or anyone else, though, the Void pulverizes! Flesh, bone, steel, diamond?! It doesn't matter!"

* * *

The pull of reality tugged Vera's hair upward, whipping her curls into a typhoon around a face alight with anticipation. She jumped… but the pull of gravity was still just a bit too strong! Her sandals touched the ground again. Rays pierced through the scarlet canopy, dancing around the wind-dashed otherworlder.

"Come on!" she yelled to the heavens, oblivious to the concrete that vaporized around her feet. "One more!"

* * *

Mars winced, looking into the storm.

"Get caught in that slipstream, you're good as dead!"

* * *

"Yes!"

Vera jumped again, and let out an exultant shout as the wind finally picked her feet up off the ground, carrying her towards the strange, pulsing light – slowly at first, but building speed as it drew her in faster and faster. Grit, like sand, smacked her in the face as she cleared the rim of the broken dome. Suddenly, Vera felt like she was flying through a desert storm minus the sunshine, spitting out the stony grit and barely managing to keep it out of her eyes. New tendrils of purple-black split open around, missing some of them by mere inches as she flew past. Wind. Pain. Noise. Light.

Then, she broke through… into the eye of the hurricane.

In the epicenter of a wall of shifting black sands, pulsed a long, thrashing ball of the deepest, darkest radiance yet. It was so quiet, Vera could hear the very wheeze of her lungs as she gasped for air. There was no noise; none at all. There was wind, but it all went in one direction… towards the mysterious mass.

And it was only five yards away, and closing in fast.

_That has to be the portal!_ Vera realized. _Hypothetically speaking, of course._

Four yards left, she reached out. The fabric of her sleeve shredded like rice paper. Her fingers stung and bled as the flesh on their tips was split from the molecular level and whipped across the dimensions to Earth. Vera didn't even register the pain. She didn't even notice.

Three yards. She was almost there!

Two yards. So close!

One yard.

In that moment, all her homesickness returned in a rush. Her family's faces flashed through her mind; Mom, Dad, Vange, Eva, and Milo. Her house. Her own bed. Recently, these nostalgic memories were painful… and sad.

But now, a radiant smile spread across Vera's face, lit by the spinning violet beams. _I'm finally going home, guys! _

She shouted out, voice snatched away by the wind.

"_BANZAI_!"

Then, a huge mass of muscle, sinew, and marimo-green hair smashed into her, snagging her by the waist and dragging her back through the wall of the hurricane, almost five hundred feet down, and slamming to the ground with a frightening impact. The muscular body of her savior absorbed most of the shock, but the brunette's head still violently smacked against the stone. The impact broke skin. She cried out in pain as red warmth trickled through her hair and down her neck. She could only feel it, but the person who held her saw it; he swore in Japanese and unsheathed a sword, burying its black blade in the pavement.

Through her hazy vision, Vera suddenly uttered a shapeless cry of rage when she realized what he was doing. He was trying to _keep_ them from being sucked in.

"Let me _go_!" she yelled.

She hit, kicked, bit – furiously trying everything in her power to break free of Zoro's grip. This denizen of her hallucination was trying to keep her here. Over her _dead_ _body_ was she missing this chance. "_HANASHITE_!"

* * *

"_LET_ _GO_!"

The chijo's teeth sank into his hand. Zoro actually shouted – it hurt him a lot more than he thought it would – and nearly lost his grip on Shuusui's hilt. The slipstream ripped at him, howling for its prize as the swordsman struggled to keep a grip on both his anchor and his ungrateful, squirming burden. Normally he wouldn't have this much of a problem but now –!

_She's effecting my strength! _he realized. _Damn! At this rate, we're both gonna get sucked in! Oh, why am I always –?!_

Then he paused.

_Wait… _

Zoro looked at Vera. The girl had gone absolutely batshit crazy, kicking and scratching at him like a rabid cat; but now, the sight set off a light bulb in Zoro's brain. _If she's effecting me…_

He looked back up at the pulsing black cocoon. _She could also effect –!_

**…**

Luffy's eyes flew open to find himself in a storm of chaos.

The rubber man sat up abruptly, head whipping from side to side as he tried to figure out what was going on. "W-What the – _ngh_!"

Chopper glanced over. "Luffy!" the reindeer cried out, as he watched their captain double over in pain. "Don't move! That kick from Kizaru ruptured your appendix, and I just performed major surgery on you!"

Luffy pressed a hand against his lower belly to find a fresh, slightly bleeding line of stitches. So he had.

"What's happening?!" the boy yelled.

Mars piped up across the way. "The admiral is trying to kill your otherworlder!" The woman glanced towards the source of all the noise, long black hair tangling over her face in the wild gale. "Your swordsman and Captain Hideki went to rescue her, but –!"

_ Zoro?!_

A flash of Observation Haki told Luffy the entire story. Hideki struggling to contain the powered-up Kizaru. Zoro had Vera, but her power was negating his superhuman strength. Now he was fighting a losing battle against the raw power of Razor Void.

All because that Glimmer bastard had to get up.

A tick went off in Luffy's forehead.

"_**KIIIIIIZAAAARUUUUU!**_"

Chopper gaped at him. "No!" the doctor yelled as Luffy leapt to his feet, a positively terrifying expression on his face. The Strawhat captain's fist lashed out, then pulsed back into his body in a burst of steam. In a flash, his skin had acquired a throbbing red glow. "If you move around too much, your stitches might break!"

"_I DON'T CARE!_"

And before anyone could say anything else, Luffy launched himself across the sky, flying across the stars straight towards the black-violet vortex.

Mars gazed after him, her hard eyes mildly impressed. "That is one insane pirate."

**…**

"_GOMU GOMU NO –!"_

On the rooftop, Hideki glanced up as Luffy flew over his head. The captain shuddered; both he and his blade were at their limit. If he kept it up any longer, the Razor Void could backlash on Iris and vaporize them all.

_I have to let it go…!_

He braced himself – and with a colossal roar of effort – broke off the technique. The captain fell to his knees, too spent to even watch the gash in the sky seal itself up, racing ahead of even Luffy. All around, stars and clouds began to reappear. With the slipstream gone, particle ash began to fall from the air in showers and tidal waves, burying the streets and all that was left of the city in a cover of black-grey powder. A wall of the stuff roared towards Luffy like an avalanche. But he burst through it like a bullet and kept going. He was taking down that admiral for good, no matter what!

Hideki sheathed Iris and lay down, heaving for breath. _Go get him, Mugiwara._

**…**

The pirate was almost on top of it now. The dregs of the slipstream yanked at him, howling their final death cry… then disappeared.

Luffy threw back his fist. _"JET –!"_

On the ground, Zoro threw Vera with all the strength he had left in his body – just as the vortex sealed itself with a sound like thunder. The brunette shrieked as she hurtled through the air… and smashed lengthwise into a disoriented Kizaru.

**…**

A pure radiance flared from the star in Hideki's mind.

His eyes flashed open, just in time to see the ropes of white sparks ignite inside the admiral's body – racing through the bloodstream, tangling in muscles, lighting him up like a dying supernova as the red flame was purged to shine white as snow. Even as he watched, the lanky Marine reeled in shock and began to fall, just from the damage he'd already taken.

But then…

"_PISTOOOOOOOOOL!"_

Luffy's fist smashed into Kizaru's ribcage, distributing its own special brand of rubbery wrath in shockwaves of destruction throughout the body his old enemy. The rubber man's arm almost went straight through him; muscles and organs bulged against each other, barely managing to hold together against the onslaught. Blood sprayed from his mouth in a final moaning rattle – and finally, Admiral Kizaru was defeated. This time for good.

But one thing Luffy hadn't thought about…

Whiplash.

Against an even frailer body.

The fury-fueled attack of a superhuman rubber berserker, in deliverance, was far more effective than even its wielder intended. The whiplash snapped her head back with a sickening crack, the leftover shock pounding through Kizaru's body and entering Vera's. The impact stopped her heart, killing her instantly.

Vera had no idea what had hit her.

* * *

All she knew was that now, she was surrounded by black.

But surprisingly, as hard as she'd just been struck – and unlike when she'd entered this hallucination world – it didn't hurt. And it wasn't the sparkling darkness of sleep, or the flat black of unconsciousness. This was something… very… different…

And there it was again. The nurses!

Relief washed over her at the sound of their angelic tones. _Yogata…_ she sighed. _ I didn't miss it. I didn't miss my chance to get out. And now, when I open my eyes again…_

_I'll be home. _

Vera allowed her breath to leave her in a soft, final exhale of release, and finally surrendered.

_Finally… home…_

* * *

The star winked out in Brook's mind, leaving nothing but empty blackness behind.

"NO!"

**.**

* * *

**A/N: I WARNED YOU OF DA CLIFFY. X3**


	17. Omasturi Part VII

**One-week update, a very happy unbirthday to ME! ****SECOND PART OF THE CLIMAX! FINAL PART OF OMATSURI! GAH, WHAT HAPPENED TO VERA?! ****THE WAIT IS OVER! NOW YOU FIND OUT!**

* * *

**Chapter 17:**

**Omatsuri**

"_**Part VII Final – Toll of the Midnight Hour"**_

Smoker twitched.

_Ahhhh… my head…!_

He didn't know how long he'd been out – but all of a sudden, like someone had turned the lights back on – he was awake again. Every inch of him ached, as if he'd been trampled by a stampede of wild beasts, and although it had ascended, the black blanket was still dangerously close; the vice admiral carefully sat up, rubbing his sore forehead, as to not invite its swift return. He couldn't afford to lose consciousness a third time, not with a battle going on –!

That was when Smoker realized.

The sounds of battle were gone. It was quiet. Dead quiet.

He looked up, confused by the lack of noise… and choked at the sight before him. Bodies covered every square inch of the ground. His men and – surprisingly – countless citizens of Kibo Hana Island, piled up on each other, layers deep; he couldn't even see the stone of which this street had been constructed. The Marine's uniforms were stained with blood, their flesh marred with dark bruises and bleeding lacerations. Their expressions were flat, nonexistent. Defeated. In his shock, Smoker had to stare for a moment before he realized that the unconscious festivalgoers did _not_ have wounds… yet their eyes were as blank and staring as the decimated G5.

The vice admiral looked desperately around, trying to simulate any kind of somewhat-realistic situation that could produce such an end result. But nothing occurred to his shell-shocked brain. Nothing came. For the first time in his adult life, Smoker was completely and utterly _dumfounded_.

Suddenly, across the way, he spotted a familiar pink coat, buried under the bodies of three Navy soldiers.

"_Tashigi_!"

Smoker staggered to his feet – taking care not to lose consciousness again – and picked his way through the carnage to his woman subordinate's side. Gripping her slender arm, the Logia dragged her out from under the pile. "Oi!" he yelled authoritatively, gently slapping her cheeks. "Get yourself together, Captain! What happened here?!"

She moaned and stirred, eyes spinning. And said something Smoker would never have thought she would say in a thousand years.

"Dancing unicorn~!"

Tashigi giggled, swooned, and passed out again.

Smoker glared at the unconscious woman passed out in his arms. "Great," he muttered to himself, thoroughly exasperated. "She's useless."

He glanced around, looking for anyone else who he could ask – but no one else was getting up.

The vice admiral grit his teeth and placed Tashigi over his shoulder. _Either way, we have to get out of here. In case whatever did this comes back!_

So, carrying his subordinate on his back, Smoker picked his way back over the bodies, finally making his way to the entrance of a dark backstreet, and racing as quickly as he dared down it. All the while, he was on the lookout for signs of life, but there was nothing. Not a whisper, not a footstep. The silence was eerie… even swallowing up the sound of his own heavy footfalls bouncing off the high, filthy brick walls etched with a delinquent's graffiti. _Was everything this dirty before?_ Smoker wondered to himself. There was some kind of silvery-black grit, absolutely _everywhere_. On the ground, in the walls – even in his hair, when he reached up to feel it. Looking up, he noticed the altered skyline, buildings he'd known were there before. Now completely erased. And again, he wondered…

"What in the _world_ just happened?!" Smoker growled.

Then, suddenly, he heard something.

"_–era…!_"

Smoker started.

"_Vera…! _

Even in the dead, unnatural quiet permeating the city, it was very, very faint, shouting, from a long, long ways away… but he'd know that voice anywhere.

_That's Strawhat!_

The Logia began to sprint, heading towards the sound.

"Chopper, do something! She's not breathing!"

He was getting louder now; Smoker turned a corner. He heard the sound of more footsteps, and then began to slow as more voices joined Strawhat's, all of them sounding panicked. Shocked. Some even on the verge of tears.

"I can't find a heartbeat!" squeaked one.

A gasp. "Oh my gosh, Vera-chan!"

"Holy shit…!"

"What the hell happened?!"

Strawhat spoke again, the pain and anguish in his voice evident even to Smoker. "Zoro threw her so that I could take out the glimmer bastard, but when we got back to the ground she _wouldn't open her eyes_!"

Then, Smoker turned one more corner and stopped abruptly, retreating quickly back into the protection of the shadows. The backstreet had suddenly opened up into another huge plaza, laced with flaming wreckage and dunes of that strange, gleaming black sand. Scraps of red textile lay all around – on the ground, in the corners, larger rags even hanging off the buildings in the square – hanging off thick steel girders bent and twisted worse than an eight-year old's drinking straw. At the base of one of these… lay Kizaru. The admiral was unconscious again, but this time in even worse shape; at that point, what was left of this massive amphitheater probably retained more of its internal structure than Kizaru did. But that wasn't the worst of it. The entire Strawhat crew was grouped in the center of it all, clustered around something on the ground. Smoker peered closer… and balked when he realized it was a corpse. He recognized its long, bronze curls; its darkened chocolate eyes, before so full of life. But now they were flat. Dead.

It was Rosethorne Vera.

There was a long, tense silence among the Strawhats.

Then, Black Leg turned slowly around – and grabbed the front of the Pirate Hunter's jerkin, tearing the stunned swordsman's eyes away from the motionless body Chopper was so desperately performing compressions on. There was no humor in his eyes. Only anger.

"_So_…" he growled, low and dangerous. "Thisis_ your _fault_._"

Zoro's hackles went up. "S-She survived a New World cyclone without a scratch!" he yelled, instantly defensive and just as angry. "How was I supposed to know she'd keel over from a single punch?!"

Luffy whirled, a furious look in his streaming eyes.

"Are you trying to blame this on me?!" the rubber man demanded, getting in his face. "Eh? Zoro?!"

"N-No! I just said –!"

Sanji's fingers curled into a fist. "Well," he hissed, "neither of you have been very concerned about _anyone's_ safety tonight!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

Smoker watched the spectacle, aghast. He had seen these pirates defeat impossible enemies, elements, and odds alike. Seeing them fight… it was almost frightening. The vice admiral looked past their shifting bodies – their screams fading into the background – and into the deadened brown eyes of Rosethorne Vera. _What was it about this girl?_ he wondered, mystified. _What was it that made the unthinkable become reality?_

"Guys, stop!" Nami yelled, trying to make herself heard over the noise. "Fighting isn't going to make anything better! _Guys_!"

Chopper pressed his ear to Vera's chest.

"I got a heartbeat!" he gasped.

Smoker's eyes widened.

"What?!" Luffy exclaimed. He pushed through Zoro and Sanji; the cook and swordsman, however, didn't move. They grew still – only able to watch with wide, dumbstruck eyes as Luffy rushed to Vera's side and leaned over her. "Oi! Vera!" he yelled, heart almost breaking in desperation. "Vera, open your eyes, I _know_ you can hear me! Don't you dare ignore your captain! OI!"

Even Smoker watched, breathless. For what felt like an eternity, nothing happened. But then, the girl twitched, groaned something, opened her eyes…

And froze.

* * *

_"…Vera…!"_

In the deep, lusterless black, the girl with that same name stirred in response.

_Oooooooooowwww… _Vera thought to herself, wincing internally. Her body felt like one massive bruise – and not like the nice pink or pale green ones, the huge, literally black-and-blue blotches that resulted from activities like football or frickin' rugby! Especially her chest; it felt like someone had unloaded an entire clip of paintballs into her torso at point-blank range. _Sheesh. Waking up, you'd think they'd give me some painkillers, or something!_

Suddenly, she blinked, glancing up.

A light glittered far above her eyes, like the sun from the bottom of a murky light. Beckoning to her.

Her face lit up. _Ah! There it is!_

She tried to get up – but her body wouldn't respond. _Oh…_ the girl realized, feeling disappointed. _Well, this is a pickle._

"…Vera…!"

"Awwww_, urusai –!_" she groaned, fingers twitching in irritation. That voice was disturbing her concentration…

Wait. No, it wasn't! It was coming from the light! Vera watched, marveling as her connection with the surface solidified – drawing her up from the dark, towards it. Unfortunately, as she got closer, the pain increased – but she tried to ignore it. She was gonna be back home! In just one… more… little bit…

Vera regained the ability to open her eyes all at once. So, she did.

And froze.

This… was a face she had not been expecting to see.

"Yogata!" Luffy sighed, his voice full of happiness and relief. "Bukkuri shita! Ore wa anata ga daijōbuda ureshī!"

She blinked.

Vera's eyes flicked up, her breath spiking, eyes growing wider and wider as they saw each face – a blonde man with streaming sapphire eyes, a redheaded woman alight with joy, a green-haired man who looked so stunned someone could have knocked him over with a feather. There were more, too. All of them she recognized. But none of them were the people she wanted to see. Starting to panic, she told her eyes to look again. But it was useless; her brain had gone completely numb.

Vera stared blankly. _What…?_

_I thought…_

* * *

Luffy's smile faded slightly. "You… are okay, right?" he asked, reaching out.

"**NO**!"

* * *

_SLAP._

Vera whacked his hand away with all of her strength. Luffy recoiled as if scalded, expression aghast as she scrambled backwards, away from them all. Debris – sharp rocks and thin shards of glass, cut into her palms. Her abdominal muscles bunched, wanting to cry out in at the added damage to her abused body, but she bit it back. She dragged herself to her feet… but she took one step and fell right back down.

Luffy jumped up, eyes wide in concern. "Vera –!" He made a move as if to help her up.

"Stay _away_!"

He stopped in his tracks. "D-Daijo–?"

"No, I'm NOT okay! I want you to GO AWAY!" she screamed, not caring if he understood her or not. She pointed to each of their faces; Franky, Chopper, Nami, Robin. "You and you and you and ALL OF THIS! Iie! Kurai! Hate it! Yamero…"

Her throat constricted. "Stoppit…!"

* * *

Hideki lined up his crosshairs on the otherworlder's skull.

Among the Strawhat Pirates, only Soul King Brook could see the same danger Hideki could. Rosethorne Vera's power was swelling at a breakneck pace, driven by frustration and confusion – driving the skeleton to scramble backwards ten, twenty, thirty yards.

_If she gets any more upset, she'll enter that state… _

His crystalline eyes narrowed through the scope of his borrowed sniper's rifle. It was getting hard to see his target in the reflection of the ballooning radiance; but still, he could see her face. Crumpled, crying. Defenseless. She was so young…

_No. First her. Then them. You can't let anyone else come under that influence, _he told himself, before his resolve could waver._ Do it._

_Three. Two._

His finger tightened around the trigger. _One…!_

* * *

Vera choked, sobbing brokenly into her bleeding hand. She had been so _close_…!

"Just stop it…!" she whimpered.

After so long of being overly happy, energetic, hormonal, and stupid just for the sake of otaku immaturity, she finally lost her will to fight. She curled up – right there on the dirty, unforgiving stone ground – and started to cry.

* * *

There was a long silence, which was only broken by the sound of her soft sobs.

"Captain-san?"

Luffy blinked, startled out of his reverie. He glanced down at Robin. "Huh?" he asked. "What is it?"

The archeologist gestured at his chest. "Your hand…"

"Hah?" He looked down. Sure enough, he was cradling his hand. _Why?_ he wondered. _It doesn't hurt. _

Luffy looked back at Vera. _Not even a little bit._

He wanted to say he was okay. He _was_ okay.

Wasn't he? The captain took inventory of his wounds, but it only confirmed what he already thought; he'd walked away from fights in worse shape than this. So, what was that horrible, bone-deep ache he was feeling, seeing Vera cry? Right in the middle of his chest?

Luffy touched the cross-shaped scar over his heart, baffled by the pain. "Yeah…" he replied. "I'm a rubber man, so that won't work on me…"

He dropped his hand.

His crew gazed at him concernedly for a moment; then suddenly, Nami spoke up.

"What's wrong with her?" she wondered aloud, just as confused as her captain by Vera's uncharacteristically violent behavior, as well as more than a little offended. "You think she'd be happy to see us!"

"I think I know why…"

"Eh?"

Nami looked around at Usopp. The sharpshooter's face was downcast, full lips twisted in a grim line. "It's because she's not," he replied. "She's not happy to see us."

"_What_? What do you mean, not happy to see us?!"

Usopp pinned her with a look, sorrow in his long-lashed obsidian eyes. "She lives in the Otherworld, doesn't she?"

The sharpshooter's voice was heavy with sad empathy; he looked over at Vera. "I don't know if she told any of you guys…" Usopp hesitated, as the others followed his gaze to his sobbing friend. "But she has a _family_ back in that place. A mom and a dad, and two sisters. One younger, one older. And – oh, I don't know! But, after all that's happened…"

He looked at the others. "What if she thinks _dying_ here… is the only way to get home?"

"But that's so stupid!" Chopper yelped. "Who would literally _kill_ themselves to –?!"

Zoro crossed his arms. "Chopper…"

Everyone glanced, wide-eyed, at the swordsman; of all of them, he was the last person they expected to defend Vera. He had practically declared himself her natural enemy, after all.

_**A light touch on his leg made Zoro jump. **_

_**It had only been yesterday – but it felt like weeks since the cyclone that had nearly claimed Luffy, the ero-cook, and even Zoro himself. The swordsman had glanced down at the chijo; she was pale as a ghost, staring up at him with dark, half-drowned eyes. A trail of bubbles escaped from the corner of her mouth. Her expression was deathly afraid, agonized, and instinctively desperate, yet somehow calm enough to be described as… relieved. That face had rung a bell somewhere in Zoro's brain. It was a face he had made in his sleep, he realized, many times as a child. When he was about to die in a dream… but he knew it was okay, because he knew he would just wake up.**_

Zoro gazed at the ground for a long moment. On the outside, his face was blank… but on the inside, his soul was at war with itself. For days, the swordsman had anchored himself in the assurance that there was absolutely nothing he would ever sympathize with that girl about. But now, in this moment – he understood.

"Think about it, Chopper."

He glanced up at the reindeer. "You're trapped in a strange world where you can't even speak the language, with no friends, no strength, and no way out. Strangers take you in. But no matter how nice those strangers were, they aren't your nakama. Wouldn't you do anything you could to get back to _us_? Even if there was only the slightest chance it would work?"

Chopper hesitated… then hung his head. "You're right," the doctor admitted, tears shining in his eyes. "I would."

The swordsman nodded once.

Even Sanji was taken aback. "Vera-chan…" he murmured, looking at the girl whom he had supposed was always carefree, always happy. "I never thought…"

Luffy stepped forward.

Everyone's heads snapped towards their captain, watching him as he walked slowly across the ruined plaza, skirting piles of sand and flaming wreckage, hopping over craters taken out of the cobblestones – and stopping several meters short of Vera, curled up and trembling on the ground. Luffy stood there for a moment. A bit of a strange look in his eyes.

Then, the Strawhat captain sunk to his haunches – slowly, as not to frighten her.

* * *

Vera noticed him all at once and balked. "No! Stop!"

* * *

"Hey, it's okay!" Luffy reassured her. He spread his palms, as he would to a scared animal, trying to show he meant her no harm. "It's okay…"

Vera hesitated – but despite herself, relaxed a tiny bit at the sincerity in his voice.

Luffy nodded eagerly, shuffling a few steps closer. "Yosh, yosh… that's it. It's okay, it's okay."

He was just repeating himself. Still, it seemed to do the trick. Vera scooted back again – but this time, only a few inches. Her stiffened limbs eased at his approach, legs sliding into a sitting position. Luffy took that as a signal to approach, waddling awkwardly on his haunches to cross the last couple feet between them; finally, he squatted before her.

Luffy smiled at her.

"Good job."

Vera sniffed. A heartbreaking look entered her eyes – she was trying to crush her tears into cold wariness, to drive him off. But her body betrayed her mind, shaking and trembling. Luffy placed his knees on the ground… patting his lap. "It's okay," he repeated. "Come here."

He held his arms out.

* * *

Vera trembled violently at the sight.

And threw her arms around his neck, grasping the red silk of his yukata so hard the glass in her palms drove deeper, drawing blood. She didn't care, though. She just cried, burying her face in the warmth of Luffy's chest. His muscles were warm and reassuringly solid as they wrapped around her, patting her back and stroking her hair, just waiting for her tears to run dry.

"S-Senchou…!" she whispered past the rock in her throat.

There was a pause.

Suddenly, there was a tap on her shoulder. Vera looked up, wiping her eyes. "Nan–?"

Luffy popped her in the forehead with a finger.

Vera hiccupped in surprise and stared at him, shocked into silence.

* * *

"Oi!" Sanji roared, shaking his fist at Luffy. "What the hell do you think you're doing, shithead?!"

Zoro rolled his eye. "Oh, will you just _shut up_?"

"Why don't you make me, Marimo Head?!"

"Maybe I will, Moustache Eyebrow!"

Their fight – and Usopp and Nami going to break it up – faded into the background. Luffy grinned at Vera, pleased with himself for getting her back from their first encounter like this; just a couple hours ago in forest. Except she'd been the one setting him straight. Now it was his turn!

"Baaaaaaaaka!" he drawled. "You can't call me captain unless you're part of my crew! Everybody knows that!"

Luffy sighed, scratching his head. "But then again, I did say that a minute ago, didn't I? Hmmm… this is confusing." He grinned down at Vera. "But all you have to do is join my crew, and then it's all good, right?"

She stared blankly at him.

He just grinned. "Vera… join our nakama!"

* * *

"Vera… ore no nakama ni aru no!"

Vera's eyes got.

Really.

Big.

_Did he just say… what I think he said?!_

"H-Hontou?" she choked. Her face felt funny. Her brain wasn't in much better shape, in the wake of being asked the second most world-rocking question in existence, fandom or not; the number one being "Will you marry me?" Number two being Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece asking somebody to be in his crew.

* * *

Hideki's eyes narrowed through the scope.

Her power was retreating, withdrawing its fiery net from the air and back into the confines of her skin. She was out of the danger zone, well within her inhibitions again.

For a tense moment, he considered pulling the trigger anyway.

Then he pulled up the muzzle resignedly. The guard captain clicked the safety back on and slung it up and around his back – long, scarred fingers stroking Iris's gilded hilt. The sword hummed uneasily: "I know, girl," Hideki murmured to the cursed blade.

He crossed over to the fire escape and began to climb down. "I don't like it either…"

**…**

"Of course, really!"

Luffy pursed his lips in a babyish pout. "Geez!" he muttered. "_Girls_. Always overcomplicating things."

Meanwhile, a figure in the shadows stirred in astonishment.

_That means she wasn't one of their crew in the first place! _Smoker realized.

Faced with the bleak if questionable reality of this situation, the vice admiral stared at Rosethorne Vera, who was gaping at Strawhat and making the occasional odd squawking sound of shock. _This is bad, _he thought._ This is very bad. I don't know who, or _what_ she is – whatever they were saying about her coming from the Otherworld – but a youth with power enough or power such as to take down Admiral Kizaru?! _

Smoker backed further down the alley, his face hard with grimness and desperation. "I have to contact Headquarters and request reinforcements…!"

A dark mass dropped down behind him.

"Oh, no you don't."

The bashing head of a hammer smashed him in the kidneys, throwing him out of the concealing shadows and into the plaza. Smoker's face hit the stones; Tashigi flew out of his grip. Her limp body struck the ground a few yards away, well out of reach. Still the vice admiral reached out – in vain – wincing in a red haze of pain as his assailant circled around, and came into view. It took Smoker a moment to recognize her… but it was the hammer, dripping in the blood of her enemies, that made him realize.

"Deiter Marsela…!" Smoker spat. "You'll regret that…!"

Mars made an exasperated sound, setting down an unnatural, dark-haired child that could only be Shizuka, the Gale Dancer. "Bitch, please," she replied, stepping down on his already injured back – and none too gently, either.

The tip of a sniper rifle poked Smoker's cheek.

"Stay down," Kaiser Hideki told him. "Nice entrance, Marsie."

"Likewise, Captain."

Glancing up, Hideki noticed Shizuka had uncovered her eyes. "How'd we do, my lady?" he asked, redirecting his gaze back to Smoker.

"Complete win," she informed him happily.

"Casualties?"

"None."

"And the citizens?"

The Gale Dancer smiled… and as if on cue, citizens of Kibo Hana Island began to trickle into the plaza; murmuring in confusion, rubbing their heads as if dizzy – but none had a single injury more than a bruise. Hundreds of them accumulated around the edges of the courtyard. Some gasped in shock at the blazing ruin. Others didn't react at all, shrugging it off as soon as they saw Shizuka smile quietly in their direction. Some just muttered amongst themselves, pointing fingers and uneasy glances at Smoker; who grimaced in shame under Deiter Marsela's foot.

"A bit loopy from having their memories erased," the Gale Dancer replied. "But other than that, right as rain."

Hideki sighed in relief. "That's my girl," he praised her.

Shizuka giggled happily – and for a moment, she transformed into the beautiful, happy suckling baby she resembled.

Now, Strawhat Luffy noticed Smoker's presence.

"AH! Bastard, you still wanna fight?!" he yelled, springing to his feet and assuming a fighting stance. "Bring it!"

Smoker at him. Then, his eyes ran over the crowd, at Tashigi and Kizaru. At Kaiser and Deiter. The Gale Dancer. The rest of the Strawhats. And the puzzled face of Rosethorne Vera, still flushed and teary from minutes before. Their sniper helped her up, offering her his handkerchief with a sensitive consolation… then, she blew her nose on it and offered it back to him. Usopp made a face of revulsion and held up a hand. _Keep it._

Smoker exhaled.

"No."

He looked up at their surprised faces. "I lose. I know when I'm outmatched," said the marine, every line of his face etched with defeat. "Give me a couple hours to collect our injured, and we'll be on our way."

Kaiser and Deiter glanced at each other. Then they looked down at the Gale Dancer.

The tiny girl nodded in approval.

Mars took her foot off his spine. Kaiser lowered his weapon. "One," Hideki said as Smoker stood up. "You get one hour."

The marine nodded and crossed over to Tashigi, feeling their eyes on him as he gathered up his subordinate. He didn't try anything; he had meant what he said. Even if Kaiser had lowered his gun, he could sense at least three Haki-capable snipers with their crosshairs trained on his head. Not to mention the Strawhats – the pirates were twitchy on their weapons as he passed them on his way to collect Kizaru. Smoker pulled the admiral from the debris and tucked him under one arm.

And as Smoker turned, he caught Rosethorne Vera's eye.

Even the Gale Dancer aside, it was hard to believe that such a being could be the cause the defeat of G5. There was something very different about her… her manner, her language, her looks, even the air around her.

Something otherworldly, indeed.

The vice admiral scowled and strode forward, carrying Kizaru and Tashigi through the mob of Strawhats – they, too, watched him closely for any false moves. Rosethorne, however, just stared at him, the look in her eyes both scared and so in awe of him.

"I'll be seeing you again," Smoker murmured.

Then he brushed past her.

* * *

Vera stiffened at the contact.

* * *

Smoker did not look back… but he felt her eyes on his back the entire time, even as he made his way across the plaza, under the watchful eyes of the Guard snipers, Deiter, Kaiser, and the hundreds of citizens that murmured and whispered at every step he made. They were waiting for something. And as a navy man… Smoker knew exactly what that was.

The man picked up the receiver on his transponder snail.

"Broadcasting on all frequencies," he said into it, loud enough so that the entire plaza could hear. "This is Vice Admiral Smoker of G5, ordering a full retreat on Kibo Hana Island."

Smoker turned his back on the lights of the city, defeat and shame weighing heavy on his shoulders.

"We're done."

Behind him, the residents of Kibo Hana sent a great roar of victory went up to the skies. The Strawhats followed soon after, joining the mob of people in celebration. They jumped, and yelled, and danced. They had driven off the mighty G5! But, Usopp – cheering along with the rest – suddenly grew quiet when he glanced at Vera. She wore a strange expression on her face, something between anxiety and indecision.

"Oi. Oo okay?" he asked her in mangled English.

* * *

The brunette wavered, unable to tear her eyes away from Smoker's back even as he faded into the shadows of the backstreets. She had an eerie feeling of something left unfinished. Somehow, through a single touch and phrase, Smoker had made it evident; the Navy retreating this time meant nothing. These cheers? Nothing.

No. This was a battle far from over.

"Yeah…" Vera replied, feeling like the autograph in her sash weighed twenty pounds heavier.

* * *

_BONG_.

In the distance, a clock tolled – deep and authoritatively over the noise.

Midnight.

Immediately, everyone fell silent. Luffy, confused, looked towards the source of the noise; behind him, Shizuka suddenly grinned and scrambled with inhuman agility to the very highest point of the wreckage. "Oh, what now?" he muttered, wearing an irritated expression at being interrupted in the middle of celebrating.

"My subjects!"

"Hah?"

The Strawhats turned around to see the Gale Dancer far above their heads, her teeth gleaming like tiny pearls as she raised her hands over the crowd. "It is midnight!" the tiny girl announced. "The time of your wishes reckoning is upon you. Raise your blossoms to the sky and think on it, so that it may help you on your way to the greatest desire of your heart!"

The pirates started as, all around them, people began to pull out their wishing flowers – their Dicota Volunta – and hold them high above their heads.

Usopp blinked, and rubbed his eyes. "Are those things… _glowing_?"

Robin reached into her obi and took out her own blossom. Her lips parted in amazement when she saw it; the last time she had looked at it, the flower had lost most of its color but for a spot of scarlet in its very throat. Now, the inside of the blossom had dyed itself the color of the richest ruby – and the outside of its petals the icy blue-white of newfallen snow. But the most amazing thing was the _nectar_… it was literally _glowing_, shining with its own light, like a beautiful beacon in the palm of her hand. "They are!"

"What?!" Nami scrambled at her sash. "Well, quick, do what the brat says!"

Luffy glanced around in a panic as the rest of his nakama pulled out their flowers. "What? What?" he exclaimed. "I didn't get a flower! Hey!"

* * *

"Nanda? Nanda? Ore wa hana o shutoku dekimasen! Oi!"

Vera glanced at Luffy, slightly mystified by the rubber boy's antics. He was whirling this way and that in a panic, as everyone else began to pull out those weird flowers. _Oh, he never did get one, did he? _she realized.

Taking pity on him, Vera reached up, plucked the blossom from her hair – which had somehow managed to stay where it was through all this hullabaloo. "Here."

She offered it to him. "You can have mine."

Luffy looked at the flower. "Hontou?"

He took it; Vera shrugged her shoulders. "I know even less than you do about what's going on," she replied. "So why not?"

* * *

Sanji wiggled over, hearts in his eyes. "Vera-chwaaaaan~!" he swooned. "I don't have one either~!"

A shimmering blossom was thrust in front of his face. "Here."

"Eh?" Sanji blinked in surprise. The blonde turned his head to the left to see who would so willingly give up a free wish.

Hideki shrugged, in the same sort of manner Vera had.

"Wishing's useless for me anyway."

The ero-cook made a face at him. "Sorry, I don't accept flowers from bastards."

"Don't want it?" the guard captain asked, returning a mirror-image of his sneer.

Sanji scowled – but the light from the flowers was getting brighter by the second. "It's not a gift from Vera-chan," the blonde pouted, taking it sulkily. "But I guess it'll do."

Robin hesitated, hearing their conversation. She glanced over, her aqua eyes gazing concernedly at Hideki. The guard captain – noticing her – gave the archeologist a bittersweet smile, to let her know everything was alright.

A collective gasp went up among the crowd as the glow increased, squeezing their flowers between her fingers excitedly.

"Here it comes!" Nami called.

"Time to wish, everyone!" Brook announced.

Everyone wished as hard as they could…!

Then everything went dark.

"Eh?"

The Strawhats peered at their flowers as their blue-white petals closed – sealing themselves shut with a clear, glassy sheen of diamond varnish. The blossom's soft surfaces grew smooth and cold to the touch, making the pale, pretty buds hard and opaque and shiny as marble. Even its stem had turned a glossy white, curling in on itself to form a seamless circle at the base of the petals. The final result; a stone-hard object, scintillating as a gem, in the shape of a long teardrop and roughly the size of a man's fist. It could have passed as a large pendant, or a belt or purse ornament – sold for a couple hundred Berries at a curios shop.

Usopp looked at it disappointedly. "Well, that was anticlimactic."

"It's pretty, though!" Chopper said. "What'd you wish for?"

"I can't tell you! Then it'd never come true!"

The resulting bickering faded into the back as Luffy bit the flower and nearly broke his tooth on it. "Ouch! That'th hard!"

Indifferent, Zoro placed his glistening petrified blossom in his haramaki… and came across something small and fuzzy that made him look hesitantly at Vera. Meanwhile, Luffy tucked his own memento in his pocket and propped his hands on his hips. "Tho, what happenth now?" the rubber man asked no one in particular.

Mars answered that one. "Well, normally Shizuka-sama dances for everyone in the amphitheater But since that's _destroyed_ thanks to a couple _specific_ people…" she replied, aiming an accusatory glance at Vera and Hideki. "Your guess is as good as anybody's."

"OW!" Franky struck his signature pose. "Well, that's no good! It's not gonna feel like a victory if we don't do _something_ to celebrate!"

"OH!"

* * *

Vera flailed her hand in the air. "Oh! Oooh!"

* * *

The Strawhats stared at her for a moment.

"Um…"

Franky pointed to her nervously. "Vera…?"

The otherworlder rushed over to the cyborg. She beckoned for him to lean down; he did, listening closely as she whispered something into his ear. The others looked on curiously.

Then, Franky's face lit up. "Aw, _hell_ yes! I even have a remote!"

He pulled out a flat black box from his sumo thong.

* * *

Vera didn't even care where it came from. She was just too excited!

She snatched the box and tapped the touchscreen, scrolling down through the songs until she found the one she wanted… and pressed it with gusto. The signal traveled through the air – miles over the island, over buildings and overturned kiosks – and diving deep into the rubble of the audio plaza, left from the aftermath of Luffy's first showdown with Kizaru.

Where iPod M.O.D. was still plugged in.

The slim machine in the giant robot's head lit up, with the title of a Willow Smith song. Vera handed the box back to Franky, bobbing her head as a familiar rhythm brought the speakers back to life.

"_**I whip my hair back and forth! I whip my hair back and forth! I whip my hair back and forth! I whip my~!"**_

"Hop up off the bed, get my swag on," she sang, moving her hips to the music, "pay no 'ttention to them hatuhs cuz we whip 'em off~! And we ain't doin' nothin' wrong!"

She picked up a lock of her hair and ticked Luffy's nose with it, smiling at him. "So don't tell me nothin'!"

He sneezed cutely.

Vera suppressed a fanspasm and spun to Nami. "I'm just tryin' to have fun~!" she hummed, glancing pointedly at the redhead and moving her hips to the music. "So keep the party jumpin'! So what's up?"

Nami smiled, shrugged, and began to move her hips, too.

Vera grinned. "Yeah!" she yelled over the pulsing beat, nodding in approval and moving to Usopp; in the corner of her eye, Sanji noodled spinelessly over to Nami, making goo-goo eyes and screaming _Nami-swaaaaaaan~!_ until she bashed him over the head. Vera grabbed both of Usopp's hands and twisted her body one way and then the other; the sniper caught on fast, and soon he was dancing, too. "And if we don' know what to do we turn our back and whip our hair and just shake 'em off… shake 'em off… shake 'em off… shake 'em off!"

She nudged Zoro with a hip. "Don' let hatuhs get me off my grind~!"

The swordsman barked something at her and scuttled off into a corner. Vera just laughed. "Keep my head up, I know I'll be fine!" she barked back at him. The brunette struck a provocative pose and mimed a punching motion at him; Zoro scowled.

"Keep fighting until I get there~! When I'm down –!"

Vera braced her hands on her knees. Everyone was looking at her now; dance fever had infected most of the Strawhats by now, and Luffy laughed aloud, staring openly at her with the same unabashed, childish grin as a kid at his first circus.

"And I feel like givin' up –!"

Vera slung her head forward, throwing her long, heavy curls up and over – just as Luffy jumped next to her, assuming the same position.

"_I_ _think_ _again_."

A wicked grin spread across her face… and she _whipped_ it.

Luffy did, too – and like everything else he attempted in his life, no matter how stupid or outlandish, the onlookers found his energy contagious. Soon, the nine Strawhat Pirates and the entire population of Kibo Hana Island was whipping their hair, in what was possibly the largest impromptu flash mob in history. The flames around them were no longer a sign of destruction – now, their light flickered on the mass of dancers like a party bonfire. The dunes of gleaming black sand weren't the pulverized remains of someone's home – it was glitter, flying in the air and shimmering a thousand different colors. The ruins weren't something to be rebuilt – they were something you could worry about tomorrow. Vera laughed, feeling so incredibly excited and free and energetic and _painless_. She danced, shaking her hair and hips in ways she normally never could around other people. Luffy let out a whoop beside her in the crush of people. He was enjoying it more than any of them… at least until Chopper snuck up on him, stabbed him with a tranquilizer, and hauled his snoring body away; muttering in Japanese about the obscene health risks of dancing so wildly after surgery. But Sanji took his place next to Vera immediately. Having recovered from Nami's blow, the blonde proved himself to be an incredible – and smoking _hot_ – dancer, whipping his hair like a natural and moving his strong, slender hips in ways that made Vera think she was gonna have a legitimate nosebleed.

Then, Sanji dropped it.

And Fangirl completely lost it.

_HOOOOOOLYYYYYY JUUUUUUNK! _she shrieked, writhing in ecstasy as Inner Vange squeaked, covered her eyes, and hid under her desk.

_I know, right?! _Vera squealed back internally. _They should call him Stank-Leg Sanji!_

Suddenly, a tap on the shoulder made her start.

She turned – Sanji's attention claimed by several island girls with similar reactions – and was surprised to see none other than… Zoro, wearing a subtly embarrassed expression. "Zoro?" she asked, unable to take the grin off her face. "Nani o?"

The swordsman hesitated…

Then, reached into his haramaki and offered her Chibi Zoro.

Vera stopped dancing.

Stunned, she looked at the marimo… then the plushie, and then the marimo again: "_Nani_?" she exclaimed, disbelieving. "You're giving him _back_?"

* * *

Zoro ground his teeth, glaring into her eyes. "It's a small compensation for almost killing you, all right?!" he barked. "Do you want it or not?"

* * *

"Chigau, chigau!" Vera replied, hastily accepting the doll from him. "I do shitai it."

She hugged it to her chest and nodded. Apparently, her acceptance got across; Zoro harrumphed and tucked his hands into his breeches pockets, looking awkwardly at the sky. Vera blinked at him. With the pulsing music, surrounded by a thrashing mass of bodies and the only two people standing still… in complete and total silence…

Vera smiled awkwardly. "Arigatou!"

She offered a hand for him to shake. Zoro stared at it like it was going to bite him – but regained his composure just as quickly.

"Tch!" was his only reply. He made a sound of disdain, turned his back, and walked away.

Completely leaving her hanging.

Vera scowled, disgruntled. Again ignored by a marimo.

So, she darted forward and slapped him on the butt again. Zoro squealed like a stuck pig, and – whirling around with hands on his buttocks and head resembling a strawberry, leaves and all – yelled back at her: "AHO CHIJO!"

Then he beat a hastily retreat through the dancing mob.

Vera's laughter rang after his vanishing back. Finally, she raised Chibi Zoro above her head, spinning in circles happily, celebrating the long-awaited completion of her Monster Plushie Trio. Finally, at least for tonight… everything was right with the world.

* * *

On the side of the courtyard, Robin chuckled, laughing and clapping along with her friends.

_Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves_, she thought.

Suddenly, a bit of movement caught her eye. The archeologist paused, and turned to see Hideki walking away from the plaza – a solemn expression on his features, carrying Shizuka delicately in his arms. "Hideki-san!" she called.

He stopped.

"Aren't you going to join us?" Robin asked, gesturing at the party with a smile.

The guard captain didn't respond at first; over his broad shoulder, the dark-haired woman saw the Gale Dancer's golden eyes gleam animalistically.

Hideki turned, aiming a crossways glance back at Rosethorne Vera.

"No," he replied shortly.

Then, his diamondlike gaze refocused on Robin. "Someone has to supervise the G5 cleanup. Right?" he asked, his voice regaining a bit of its humor. But it still seemed forced. "And I… don't dance."

With that, he resumed walking away.

Robin gazed severely at his retreating back. "Something tells me it's not dancing – or even duty, Hideki-san."

"Sharp as ever, Robin."

He didn't pause this time, or even look back.

Shizuka smiled at Robin from over her guardian's shoulder. "Do forgive him, please," she purred, in that eerie, feminine voice that sent shivers up the archeologist's spine. "His… experience with those of the god's realm is not one to wish upon anyone. But worry not! We shall both be there to see you off in the morning.

"Enjoy the rest of your time here on Kibo Hana Island, Nico-san."

With those final words, the Gale Dancer and her mysterious ally were absorbed by the shadows, and disappeared into the night… leaving Robin to gaze after them, a bitter taste in her mouth. But soon, the archeologist was drawn back into the energy of the celebration and Vera's strange, but exhilarating music. Hours passed. The stars raced above their heads, like silver notes in the night sky's own song. The party lasted until long after the Marines had departed, after the roosters began to crow, into the wee hours of the morning. And in the distance – at four hours past midnight – strawberry dawn broke over the New World. It tasted of triumph, and even more adventures to come.

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Boom. ^_^**

**Next chapter is the wind-down of the Wishing Flower Arc – but the power to raise hell won't escape notice of the Navy, not in Smoker's report! And I have one more surprise in store for you in Ch18… and it's a DOOZY.**

**Review! Follow! Favorate! Anticipate.**


	18. Three Lovers & A Promise of War

**The Gale Dancer's prophecy plays a major role in the storyline of SOCCP. Look back on it in the future. It wasn't just words. **

**And now, here's that doozy I promised you last chappie! **

* * *

**Chapter 18:**

**Three Lovers & A Promise of War**

The next afternoon blazed even hotter than the one before, with a blinding orange sun and air thick as soup. Snowy white cicadas chirped, complaining noisily of the heat under the protection of the multicolored forests – their calls shrieking through the forests and all the way to the shoreline, where the Thousand Sunny bobbed merrily on the lukewarm cerulean waves – waiting patiently as her nakama bustled up and down the rocky bluff, loading up, scrambling to make the tide.

Well, most of them, anyway.

"I feel so much better –!" Zoro yawned. The swordsman put his hands behind his head and leaned back against a tree at the top of the bluff, content as a fat cat back in his regular green robe, violent sash, and black pants. "My normal clothes are so much more comfortable…"

"You could help, you know!" Nami barked, passing by. "And what happened to your yukata, anyway?!"

"It got burned and cut up."

The navigator made a note to herself. "Well, there's the price of that onto your debt."

"WHAT?!"

Meanwhile – on a grassy knoll about halfway down the rocky slope – Luffy's voice overrode the resulting argument between his first mate and his navigator. "You two have some weird powers! You should join my crew, too!"

Hideki snorted. "No."

Beside him, Shizuka smiled politely. "I'm sorry, but I'll have to decline as well."

"Awwww!" Luffy pouted, rocking back and forth on his heels. "I thought since neither of you are in armor, you would be more open to things!"

It was true, at least on the matter of dress; the pair had dressed casually for seeing off their pirate guests. Unlike yesterday, the guard captain just wore a loose white shirt and plain breeches, both garments clean and worn soft by use. Iris was the only weapon on his belt this morning, her golden hilt hanging low on his hip, gleaming gold under the dappled shade of the trees. As for Shizuka, in place of her lovely, regal silk robes of the night before, she wore a plain, sleeveless dress with a billowing white skirt and subtle silk embroidery. Her shining black hair was intricately braided and bound up, with pale silk ribbons fluttering in the brisk ocean breeze off the tide. Smiling with dimpled, rosy cheeks and her eyes closed against the blazing sun, she looked like nothing more than a simple, happy child… in the back of their minds, it had occurred to several of the more cerebral Strawhats that this was what Shizuka normally looked like, as to not unnerve unaccustomed seafarers or pirates into attacking. But it wasn't like they were leaving the island unprotected to come see the Strawhats off; Hideki had explained before that New World currents were chaotic after the new moon, and most pirate ships couldn't even get to Kibo Hana short of swimming upstream. It was the reason why the islanders could have a day of rest after the Wishing Flower Festival. It was also the reason why the Thousand Sunny had to catch the tide now, in the morning while they could still predict it – otherwise it could very well be another week before they could leave.

Hideki raised an eyebrow at Luffy. "You stupid?"

Shizuka waved her tiny hand in dismissal. "No, no…" she replied, setting the rubber man straight. "What people wear day to day doesn't change their mindset day to day. Well, not normally, anyway."

"Oh."

"And besides…"

The Gale Dancer gestured behind him, a quiet smile on her mouth. "You still haven't gotten an answer from the last time you asked that question."

Luffy blinked. "Huh?"

Usopp glanced up. "Oh!" he exclaimed; he turned around and called to the others. "Hey everybody, Sanji and Vera are here!" The sniper picked up a heavy crate, staggering precariously down the rocky slope with his load. "We better get going, then!"

The rubber man looked around, spotting Sanji's figure approaching through the trees. On his back, Vera dozed. Her face was gentle in sleep… buried in the crook between Sanji's neck and shoulder, occasionally twitching and murmuring in a dream as he carried her down the path – moving cautiously, carefully… as not to disturb his precious cargo.

"Don't rush me, long-nose!" Sanji half-shouted, half-whispered. "You haven't seen her when she gets woken up! It's damn _scary_…"

"Wow." The breath whooshed out from the sniper's lungs as he set the crate down on the Sunny's deck, then he straightened, wiping his forehead: "_Oof_. Phew! Well, best to just put her in her bed and wait till she wakes up then. Want me to take her?"

"Her bed?" Sanji stammered.

He felt a little sinus pressure at the concept. "M-Maybe you should…"

"Okay. Come here." The cook walked past Luffy to the sniper, carefully shifting Vera's sleeping body from his back to Usopp's. "Be careful…"

"What do you _think_ I'm doing?!"

Luffy's eyes followed the transfer a little too closely. He didn't seem to quite realize he was staring so openly.

Hideki noticed it, though.

His face darkened, and he was about to say something about it… when the rubber man turned back around and kept right on talking, as if nothing had happened. "I see," Luffy replied. "So where's the Hammer-baasan?"

The guard captain blinked, a little stunned by the sudden change in topic. "Marsie?"

"Deiter-sama was very heavily injured last night," Shizuka answered. "Honestly, she should not have even taken part in the battle between your nakama and the Marines… but she is alive and kicking, and I suppose that's all that matters. She should be receiving treatments by our doctors about now."

"HA!"

Hideki laughed so hard he doubled over. "That's an understatement!" he guffawed, slapping his knee – which earned a confused look from all the Strawhats within earshot. "She really hates you guys! Says you guys are nothing but trouble, and that the world would have to come down around her ears to get her down here! Hahaha!"

Shizuka chuckled along with her guardian. Still, her golden eyes flicked to the forest and up, up, up the winding dirt path; towards the city that crowned Kibo Hana Island. Far away – too far for her to have seen – a News Coo flew through the clouds, bound for the same destination.

The little girl smiled, as if sharing a private joke with herself. "All's well that ends well, I suppose."

**…**

"Just hang in there for a few more seconds, Commander!"

"The doctor's almost done!"

Lying on a table shirtless in the Guard's temporary infirmary tent they'd set up in the security plaza, Mars rolled her eyes at Cap and Juso as a needle tugged at the skin of her back. She'd been "almost done" for two hours already – three hours since the doctor even started stitching her up. Even the tough-as-nails woman was getting uncomfortable lying on her stomach for so long. She felt like a Raggedy Annie… but still, she lay her head back down on her arms, trying to ignore the aches in her joints just as she enjoyed feel of the sun – playing along the iron sinews of her back and arms – and the babble of the citizens falling on her ears, who were busy clearing out the wreckage so they could rebuild. Nearby, another member of the Guard was struggling with housing arrangements; until homes could be rebuilt, some families would have to shack up with others. Mars could hear a disagreement breaking out and sighed in relief. That would have been her job, usually. She would rather being getting stitches… which she was.

Mars sighed, not even wincing as the needle went in and out. "Seriously, boys, keep your hair on," she calmly told her anxious soldiers. "I've survived worse."

Cap and Juso looked at each other.

Then they looked at her. "You seem to be in a surprisingly good mood, Commander…" Cap said, a drop of nervous sweat tricking down his neck.

"What's going on?" Juso finished, flailing his arms around. "Normally you'd assign us to latrine duty for showing such concern in a public place! And aren't you worried?!"

Mars lazily opened one eye. "About what?"

"G5!" they exclaimed together. "White Chase _Smoker_ was their leader! We agree it was the civilized thing to let him go, since he gave up and everything, but he'll go straight to Navy Headquarters with a full report! Annihilating G4 and then driving off G5, the Marines might decide Shizuka-sama isn't worth capturing alive! Kibo Hana might get a Buster Call! _Aren't you worried?!_"

There was a pause as they gasped for breath.

Mars stared at them for a moment… then she closed her eye again. "No, I'm not. There's no way we'll be Buster Called for this."

"HOW COULD WE _NOT_ BE BUSTER CALLED FOR THIS?!"

Mars's brow wrinkled. "You two are annoying!" she muttered. "For one, they'll probably cover this incident up. Just picture the headline: 'Mighty G5 Defeated by Strawhat Pirates and Team of Sacrilegious Ragamuffins!' The Navy would be a joke, and they know it. They did the same thing with the event with G4, and even the overthrowing of the Marine base here a couple years back; not one word of it in the newspapers."

_Plop._

Suddenly, a newspaper dropped on top of her head. The impact elicited a flat, irritated look from Mars. She glanced up to see the News Coo flying away.

"Fluffy little buzzard…" The doctor finally snipped off the thread; Cap and Juso turned their backs so Mars could sit up, pulling on a robe to cover her breasts. She popped her neck and rolled her shoulders. "Let's just see what quack is trying to predict the weather today…"

Mars shook open the paper and scanned the front page.

Her pupils contracted.

"Oh no…" she choked.

Cap and Juso turned back around. "What's wrong?" they asked together, then closed their mouths when they saw Mars's expression. All the blood had drained from their commander's face, leaving it stark white in shock. Her hands – trembling – loosened; the sheaf of wanted posters inside the paper fell out in a pile.

Mars looked down… and noticed one in particular.

Fingers shaking, she reached down. And picked it up.

"Oh _no_…!"

**.oOo.**

Nami raised her head to the brisk, warm wind coming in off the waves. "That's it, guys! Let's go!"

Her nakama hurried to finish their tasks with new energy, yelling and squabbling as they struggled to haul the last of the supplies on board the Sunny; Robin looked back at them, a look of quiet amusement on her porcelain features.

The archeologist turned, gazing down at Hideki. "I suppose… this is goodbye, then?"

Sitting on his rock, the guard captain gave her a reassuring smile. "Probably," he replied. "But maybe not. The New World is a strange place, after all. Maybe our paths will cross again."

He rooted in his pocket. "But until then… ah."

Hideki's strong, scarred fingers extracted a small bundle of paper from his breeches; he took her hand, placed it into her palm, and folded both their fingers over it. "Don't hesitate to write me. For anything. Okay?"

Robin smiled at his inconspicuous squeeze on her hand. "All right," she chuckled.

Hideki's lips turned up, giving her a quick smile in return before he let go. The archeologist had turned away, when suddenly, the guard captain's sudden exclamation made her look back: "Oh!" Hideki smacked his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Sorry. Forgot to say I also put the recipe for boot mints in that bundle, too. Give it to your cook, will you? Thought he'd like it."

Robin got a mischievous look in her aqua-colored eyes. "You'd think to replace my morning cup of coffee with your _candies,_ Hideki-san?"

He laughed. "Just don't eat too many. Don't want you getting in trouble again, do we?"

The archeologist gave him a genuine smile. "No," she replied, her teeth sparkling in the sun. "I suppose not. And as for your address…"

She clasped the paper in her hand. "I would love to write to you."

Hideki nodded in approval. "I'll look forward to hearing from you," he told her. His diamondlike eyes watched her – keen on her retreating figure as she turned away from him, and finally began to descend the hill. "Goodbye!" he called.

Her deep blue eyes gleamed back at him. "Goodbye."

With that, Nico Robin stepped onto the deck of the colorful pirate ship, descending to the lower decks in preparation for the Sunny's departure. Hideki exhaled – half sighing after the departure of a beautiful woman, half grateful she was gone – then cleared his head and directed his mind to the next matter of business; he reached into his pocket again, pulling out another slip of paper and offering it to the green-haired man reclined on the ground a few yards to his left. "You too, Roronoa."

Zoro opened one eye and closed it. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"What? Can't write?"

"Of course I can write, you rude bastard!" the marimo snapped. He folded his hands behind his head, muttering grouchily to himself; he was still nursing a hangover. "Geez, implying that I can't _write_ –!"

Hideki waved the paper around a bit more. "If you don't write," he asked, smirking, "how will I know when you're ready for that fight you promised me?"

The marimo's eye eased open at the cocky tone in his voice.

"Who said I'm not ready now?" Zoro replied, low and threatening. He gripped his swords. "Let's go."

Hideki raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

He thumbed his own sword. "So… you found a way to get around my Razor Void?"

Zoro glanced at the Zephyrus master's shimmering golden weapon. Unfortunately… no, he hadn't. And – having seen the destructive, all-consuming force that could be summoned by that blade – Hideki's technique intimidated the swordsman more than he'd ever admit.

"Maybe," he challenged, sliding Wado's blade out a few inches. "Why don't you find out?"

Hideki chuckled and waved him off. "That's okay. I can take a 'maybe.'"

Zoro waited a beat, then slid his sword back into its sheath. Still, he gazed at Hideki's Iris… curiosity gnawing at his mind.

"How do you do it?" he asked.

Hideki stiffened.

Then he turned – meeting Zoro's cold, challenging, emerald-black gaze – considering him. The tension was so heavy in the air, one could pluck it like the string of a violin; it was a serious breach of the swordsman's etiquette to ask directly after another style's technique, akin to asking a woman about her menstrual cycle. But Zoro didn't look away, or take back his question. He simply sat there, waiting for Hideki's reply. If he answered explicitly, he would be disrespecting both himself and his style. If he remained silent, it would – in return – be a serious breach of etiquette. The only way to retain both his pride and still be courteous was to politely refuse… or give a cryptic hint.

"You have to be just like air," Hideki replied. The man looked away, his crystal eyes fixing pensively on some point in the distance. "Gentle as a breeze, yet stronger than a hurricane."

Zoro frowned. Cryptic it was, then. He hated those.

Suddenly, behind him, Shizuka made a very unladylike snort. The marimo whirled around to glare at the brat – but her face was straight, and after a moment, Zoro narrowed his eye uncertainly back at Hideki's neutral expression. _He's holding something back…_

"OI, ZORO! Get your butt over here or we'll leave you behind like last time!"

Hideki laughed. "Someone's calling you."

Zoro growled and dragged himself to his feet. "Witch…" he muttered, trudging down the slope.

The guard captain slapped his arm as he passed. "Don't worry," he reassured the other swordsman, an amused grin still on his lips. "We'll settle this eventually. Santoryuu."

Zoro pulled himself over the railing. "Count on it, Zephyrus."

"Okay, Zoro's here," Nami called as she saw the green-haired finally get on deck. She glanced around, counting heads. "Is that everyone?"

"Yeah, that's everyone!"

"Yosh!" Luffy crowed. "Let's blow this popsicle stand! SET SAIL!"

"YEAH!"

Hideki rubbed his shoulder, listening to the pirate crew's enthusiastic reply – then a scramble of frantic footfalls as they ran to release the sails. To leave. He was surprised Shizuka hadn't said anything yet. _Still, _he thought.

He massaged his wound, reopening it through the bandages; the pierced muscle creaked under his fingers and began to bleed again. He used to pain to ground himself… and allowed his mind to wander to the otherworlder Rosethorne Vera, sleeping peacefully in the bowels of that ship.

_Wonder if I should have told them…_

The man sighed. _But too late now, I guess._

"_CAPTAIN_!"

Mars crashed through the treeline at the top of the hill.

Hideki spun around. "Marsie?" he exclaimed, extending his arms in concern as his commander hopped and skidded down the slope to where he sat, gasping for breath. The Strawhats paused in their mad activity and stared from the deck of the Sunny. "What are you –? Wait. Did you just run all the way here from the city in, like, three _seconds_?"

Mars gulped down lungfuls of precious air. "That's not important!" she gasped, shoving a paper in his face. "Look!"

Luffy leaned over the rail. "What is it?"

Hideki took the paper from her. "Geez, Marsie!" he muttered, shaking open the crisp printed sheets and taking a look at the headline. "Didn't you say earlier that you wouldn't come down here unless–?"

Then he realized what he was looking at, and fell silent.

Luffy craned his neck, trying to get a look at what the guard captain was holding. "Oi, what the heck is it? Oi!"

Hideki ignored him.

"This…?" His voice cracked; he swallowed and tried again. "Did this just…?"

Mars nodded. "Yeah," she replied, reaching into her pants pocket and extracting a roll of indiscriminate brown paper. She unrolled it and slapped it in front of the headline. "And it came with _that_."

Hideki's pupils contracted all the way.

By then, the curiosity was killing Luffy. The rubber man vaulted over the railing, flying through the air and landing just behind Hideki – who had gone still as a statue. "You're just completely ignoring me, aren't you?!" he pouted.

Luffy peered over the bigger man's shoulder. "What is…?"

His expression went blank.

Nami wheeled around and nearly had an apoplexy when she spotted her captain back on shore. "You idiot, get _back_ here!" she roared. "Didn't you get the memo?! We're _leaving_!"

When Luffy showed no signs of moving, the navigator cried out in exasperation and vaulted over the railing, too.

Zoro looked around. "Hah?"

Sanji poked his head out of the kitchen. "Nami-san?"

"What's happening, if I may ask?" Brook said to Chopper and Usopp, both of which were carrying a heavy crate.

"Dunno," Usopp replied. "Let's find out."

The rest of the Strawhats abandoned their tasks and followed the navigator. Meanwhile, Nami stalked up behind Luffy, furious as a thundercloud. "I cannot _believe_ you!" she snarled. She smacked Luffy's head out of the way and glared over Hideki's shoulder; the rest of the crew gathered around, trying to get a look at the paper, too. "What could possibly be so important you'd risk us missing the…"

Then they saw what Hideki was holding.

He was holding what looked like an ordinary News Coo paper, but what really claimed their attention was the wanted poster that obscured its headline. It was normal size and shape… but several things about it made it stand out. For one, it showed a beautiful young woman – with messy, tousled chocolate curls and brown eyes that glittered mischievously up at the camera. The picture had probably been taken from a rooftop, if the angle was anything to tell by. In the middle of a moshpit of anonymous arms and legs, her figure was apparent – good curves and a thin stomach, but muscles less than toned – in a ripped and dusty violet yukata. She was sticking out her tongue, hand poised as if she'd just slapped her butt at the camera. The bounty read a one and eight zeroes. One hundred million Berries. 100,000,000. But the most bizarre thing about the poster was that, under WANTED… the first two words in "Dead or Alive" had been crossed out, leaving only the letters A-L-I-V-E.

And that the name on the poster was _Rosethorne Vera_.

Nami choked. "…Current…!"

"_**EEEEEEEEH?!**_" the nine Mugiwaras shrieked. But only eight were in disbelief; Luffy looked positively ecstatic as he snatched the new wanted poster off the newspaper. "This is _SO_ _COOL_!" the Strawhat captain crowed. He waved the battered bit of paper around like a victory flag, then grasped it with both hands to grin in all his toothy glory. "A hundred million for the first time?! That's _amazing_!"

"_NO, IT'S NOT_!" the rest of his nakama yelled at him.

Luffy pouted at them. "Why not?"

Usopp snatched the poster from him. "Luffy, don't you know that the higher a person's bounty is, the more the World Government views them as a threat to society?!"

"Well, what's the big deal then? Mine is _way_ higher than that."

"BUT YOUR FIRST BOUNTY WAS ONLY 30 MILLION!" The sharpshooter shoved the poster in his captain's face, poking the number pointedly as he screamed. "This is one hundred freakin' million for Vera's _first_ _time_! And this provocative picture?! The Navy might as well have written on it 'Bounty hunters, come and get me!' Ohhhh, what could she possibly have done last night to piss them off so bad…?"

"This."

Nami found herself being handed the newspaper. Hideki sat down hard on his rock and buried his head in his hands, running fingers through his bristly hair – obviously distraught as the navigator glanced at the front page. It sported one large picture and several smaller ones, but the main centerpiece was an eagle's-eye view of Kibo Hana's main city in the aftermath of Hideki's Razor Void attack. The destruction was clear, even catastrophic. Nami herself had seen most of the damage inflicted on the skyline, but as terrible as it was, even this had obviously been exaggerated! That in itself was offensive… but what really cleaned her whistle was the smaller pictures. Luffy, Vera, Zoro, almost all the Strawhats, Vera, a line of bodies covered in sheets, a bloody Kizaru, Vera again, even a host of Shizuka's golden-eyed monsters. The article covered nearly two whole pages of the paper in itself, and was titled in bold black lettering: "TALK OF A SECOND SCARE? A TERRIFYING NEW FORCE ON THE NEW WORLD SEAS!"

"Guys. Listen to this."

The other eight members glanced back curiously as Nami read the first paragraph aloud: "'Chaos broke out last night at Kibo Hana Island's world-famous Wishing Flower Festival, when the Strawhat Pirates – led by their captain Monkey D. Luffy – revealed that they hold possession of one of the rogue superhuman weapons known as 'semikami.' Many of us know of these weapons from the Divine Scare, which ended just recently, almost six months ago. But this late arrival, after inflicting billions of Berries in damage and countless casualties on the populace of Kibo Hana, may have just given Strawhat Luffy enough power to spearhead the coming age… and a second age in the Scare.'"

"Superhuman weapon?" Leaning over Nami's shoulder, Franky raised his sunglasses to get a look for himself. "A semi-what? Are they talking about _Vera_?"

Luffy blinked and wrinkled his nose in confusion. "Why do they keep talking about _me_?"

"Vera-san didn't cause any of that damage!" Brook exclaimed. "What are they talking about?!"

"Casualties?!" Chopper panicked.

Zoro's eye narrowed suspiciously. "There _were_ no casualties," the swordsman murmured. He aimed a look at the Gale Dancer. "You _said_ there were no casualties."

Her golden gaze glittered neutrally back at him. "That is because there wasn't."

"J-Just wait a second!" Nami yelled. The others fell silent, staring at their navigator as she turned on Shizuka. "Okay, you seem to know everything!" She thrust the paper in the child's face, mind reeling with questions of her own. "Just what the hell is this 'Scare?!' Why is this article talking about the events last night?!" she demanded. "And why didn't the Navy just cover this up?! This was an isolated incident on a tiny island in the middle of the New World! Why put it on the front page? And why _lie_ about Vera doing all this?!"

"For the same reasons the World Government gave her such a noticeable bounty."

The Gale Dancer pinned Nami with a gaze that made the navigator feel like a mouse in the eyes of a cobra. "They know exactly what she is. They want her alive. And they want her now."

"W-What do you mean?" Nami stammered. "An otherworlder?"

Shizuka lowered her gaze from the older woman's stunned expression.

And when she spoke again, her already deep, husky, feminine voice… seemed to drop two more octaves… almost like something else was speaking through her. Hideki started; Mars balked. Chopper nearly wet himself. Even Luffy – fearless and stubborn as a bag of rocks – swallowed and backed up a step as the creature proceeded to explain, in the thrumming tones of a being omniscient and ancient and scary as hell. Even to its bearer.

"_**Sometime in the years preceding my birth**_," it began, "_**there was one moon when beings with the power to force their will on reality appeared rampant on the seas. They invested themselves as they wished, moved as they wished, and behaved as they wished. They scared the people of your world… but the ones they did not frighten away wanted the power for themselves. Pirates. Corrupt Marines. Even the Celestial Dragons joined the chase once they found out. As a result, more otherworlders died than were captured. And strange things happened that moon, and in the months to come as the remaining survivors joined name-dropper pirate crews all across the New World. Some died. Most went missing. And more often than not… the crews that hosted them followed the same fate. More pirates died that year on average than the previous decade. The deaths were mostly hushed up, dismissed to the public as a simple upswing in New World fatalities. Some called it chance. Others called it bad luck.**_

"_**But what it truly is… is a curse.**_"

Around them – the atmosphere grew dark and cold, despite the warm sunbeams and pale blue sky.

The Gale Dancer went on: "_**It is the word 'semikami,'**_" she informed the Strawhat navigator, who was frozen in fear,"_**that was invented to refer to the inflictors of such a curse. It literally means an almost-god. They have abilities that are erratic and unexplained and impossible to control, and because they are not of this world the unexplained forces of our world fight back against their very existence, like antibodies against a parasite in the body. Along with the existence of **_**anyone**_** or **_**anything**_** associated with them.**_

"_**Which. Means. You.**_"

Shizuka rose her slender, polished, unnatural finger to point directly at the Mugiwara no Ichimi. At their Jolly Roger. At their Sunny. And the oblivious beast that slept peacefully in her belly. "_**You thought your lives were tough now?**_" boomed this child with the voice of a universe. "_**If you take her in, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. You will pay with your blood, your promises, even your lives. Every hurt inflicted on your nakama will be because of her. And the closer you get to her, the worse the curse will become. Friendship will mean torture, and romance? Death.**_"

Behind her, she could feel Hideki's internal struggle – an icy butterfly against the back of her mind. It was true. And he would never have told them, even when he had been a victim of the curse himself. If only _he_ had been told…

Normally, the future wasn't something to be revealed before it's time.

But now, Shizuka could not acknowledge that silent rule. She gazed at the pirates aggressively, intensively, waiting and watching as the implications of her statement finally registered. Their stunned expressions – second glances at the Thousand Sunny as she bobbed in the waves – confirmed what she had already foreseen. Like all the others before them, the Strawhat Pirates had _never_ expected this. For such an innocent person to bear such a foreboding price tag. It was a shock, she knew. But it had to be done. She had to test them.

"_**Are you prepared to confront this fate?**_" the Gale Dancer murmured. "_**Are you willing to accept that young woman as your nakama, even though–?**_"

"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS_ THAT?!_"

Shizuka started – and glanced up as Nami smacked Luffy, bouncing his rubber head off the ground and yelling: "Don't interrupt the beasty-voice, baka!" she cried.

The rubber man swiftly warded her off. "Bug off!" Shizuka watched, fascinated, as the rubber man set his infamous hat on his hair, its tattered straw brim rustling in the brisk sea wind; he wheeled around and pointed his finger authoritatively in her direction: "And you!" Luffy yelled. "Talking about fate and curses and crap like that! Gimme a break! From the moment we decided to be pirates, we already discarded our lives!"

Strawhat Luffy planted his feet, even as each member of his crew smiled… and one by one, came to stand behind him. Strong. Faithful. Unwavering. "And if we die, it's not gonna have anything to do with Vera!

"WE DECIDE OUR OWN FATE!"

The captain raised his voice to the sky in yet another thoughtless, brainless challenge against the world, frightening flocks of birds to take flight from the trees and rise up above the forest in a great vortex of color and noise. The Gale Dancer took a step back, the wind from their wings blowing her long, shining black hair around her face. A ribbon slipped from her locks… the slip of shining white satin carried to sea in the wake of his declaration.

"You got that?" Luffy panted. "Ya creepy brat?!"

A beat of silence passed.

"HA!"

Mars split the quiet with a brief, harsh bark of laughter – her first – and glared flatly at the pirates. "They're all gonna die," she stated neutrally.

Hideki nodded. "Yup."

Both adults buried their heads in their hands and heaved a gusty sigh. The Gale Dancer, however, stared at the Strawhat crew's determined expressions; for once, the goddess child was utterly speechless. _These people…!_

Then, Shizuka smiled. _Well… _she thought with a quiet giggle. _I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything less from the future King of the Pirates._

"All right. Just one more thing."

She felt all eyes turn to her. The beautiful child's mouth curled up, once more, into that soft, knowing smile of hers… her mind not on those who watched her, but on the strip of shining white satin that danced through the wind and sunshine – finally free. The Gale Dancer was a bit jealous of it… but she folded her hands, patient, reassured that her time would come.

Shizuka met Luffy's eyes. Gold on obsidian.

"What would you do… if a creature – with more power than you have ever faced – threatened to drive your nakama apart?"

Luffy didn't even hesitate.

"Nobody splits up my crew," he replied. "Nobody."

The Gale Dancer read the conviction in his eyes. He was telling the truth. She could take reassurance in that – although he had no idea what was coming – that statement would stay true, if nothing else.

Shizuka nodded. "Then I am satisfied."

The goddess child clasped her hands before her, meeting the eyes of each member as she did; detecting the same conviction in them all. "I know you will take care of her, Strawhat Pirates," she told them. "Don't prove me wrong."

Another wind fluttered through her hair. "_**Now go.**_"

* * *

_**A/N: "We Go!" One Piece OST Soundtrack**_

_**PRESS PLAY**_

* * *

Suddenly, a hurricane-force wind swept across the unsuspecting group – causing them to yelp and grab at unsecured articles as it pulled at their clothes and hair. The Sunny leaned all the way out to one side; her anchor ropes yanked tight, creaking, threatening to snap and sail out to sea without her crew. Nami saw it and panicked:

"That's it, guys!" she yelled. "We're out of time! Get on or we're not gonna get another chance!"

The pirates ran for their ship, scrambling and stumbling and rolling down the slope in their overwhelming hurry. They leapt onto the Sunny – some (ahem, Luffy) even getting too excited and jumping so high he got tangled in the rigging. The rubber man struggled like a fly in a spiderweb, calling out for help; the others ignored him. The deck exploded into a flurry of activity, pulling ropes, releasing the sails, bringing in the anchor, turning the wheel and the rudder and using the swell of the wind to ride the waves and sea spray… finally turning away from Kibo Hana Island. Back towards the open ocean and whatever adventure awaited them next!

Finally, Luffy managed to disentangle his limbs from the rigging. Quickly, he darted to the Sunny's aft. "See ya!" the rubber man yelled, waving his hands over his head at the figures on the retreating shore. "It's been fun!"

Mars shot him the bird. Shizuka waved back, calling goodbyes in her deep, bell-like voice. Hideki raised a hand in farewell, smiling half-heartedly at the Strawhat captain as the Thousand Sunny pulled away from their shores, cruising merrily over the frothy cerulean waves – in her captain's eternal pursuit of the glorious horizon.

As Kibo Hana island faded from view, Luffy lowered his arms, smiling contentedly.

Then he remembered something. "Oh."

The rubber man turned to his swordsman, who glanced at him curiously at with his good eye. "Zoro, I need to tell you something."

* * *

**A/N: (soundtrack fadeout...)**

* * *

When the pirate ship was a tiny speck in the distance, Shizuka suddenly giggled.

"'Gentle as a breeze, yet stronger than a hurricane,'" she repeated in an exaggeratedly prophetic tone. "That was surprisingly poetic for you, Hideki-sama!"

Mars raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? You said what? Okay, even _I_ know that isn't how you cut air."

Hideki smirked.

He lowered his hand and turned, hunkering down beside Shizuka. "Well, thank you for not saying anything."

Shizuka smiled at him. "You're welcome."

Hideki's smile grew wider. "And since you know everything, tell me the real secret."

The little girl reached up, her slender baby fingers wiggling with demand. Hideki laughed. He picked her up, kissed her on the cheek, and tossed her up. The tiny goddess-child shrieked with glee as she flew through the air. Mars leaned her bruised noggin against a tree trunk and watched them. Watching the mismatched pair, her sullen face looked almost pretty with happiness.

After a few tosses, Hideki caught the giggling baby. "Spill it."

"You have to hold your sword the same way you would hold someone you love!" she replied.

"Correct."

He planted a stubbly kiss on her soft, round cheek. Shizuka patted his nose.

Mars took her head off the tree. "Ugh, it's so sweet I could _hurl_," the woman moaned, managing to actually sound nauseated. Then she aimed a sharp glance at Hideki. "But seriously, why didn't you just tell him _that_? You were certainly never one for beating around the bush before."

Hideki adjusted his arms around Shizuka. "Would've sounded too much like their cook. Wouldn't have listened to me. Besides. Even if he had, what could he do?" he said, cradling his charge's doll-sized form. "He's never loved anyone that way. The look in his eye, doubt he ever will. And it'd have to be a pretty crazy woman to love someone like him."

Shizuka pouted at him. "That's not nice! Mother loves you, and she's crazy!"

Hideki's smile vanished so quickly it was as if she'd wiped it off his face.

He set her down gently. "Shizuka. Don't. Don't start this again."

"Hm?"

Hideki gazed at her sternly. "I told you before," said he. "Don't talk about Lady Sequoia in present tense. Not insane. Not even alive. She's dead. And I am. _GLAD_. You never got to meet her."

Shizuka shook her head, smiling. "No. Mother is alive. I saw it."

Hideki let out a heavy breath. This was the eighth time they had had this same conversation, and each time they ended at an impasse. Shizuka's visions had yet to be wrong. But Hideki had seen the Lady Sequoia die with his own two eyes… felt the blood pouring from her cold corpse with his own two hands. Otherworlders popped up more often than people knew – even today – but most of them never lived through their first twenty-four hours. And although she'd lasted far longer than that… Sequoia's death had been one of the worst.

He still remembered that night in the skyless dark, among the sheetrock and stone. Sobbing, swearing, cursing God and man as he cradled the petite corpse.

Now, Hideki relished the memory. And that he wasn't proud of.

The man rubbed his eyes, mind spinning between the black memories and Shizuka's face – which so resembled the one on that enjoyable corpse. "Fine. You can think that. But it's wrong."

Shizuka was silent for a minute. She could tell she had upset him.

Then, she reached out, cradling Hideki's face between her baby hands.

"I love you, Father."

Hideki felt his eyes fill with hot, prickling tears. He hugged her, although it was pointless – trying to keep her from seeing him cry. Shizuka had once told Hideki that he would not be the one to raise her. She would grow up in a land of white and silky pines, live twenty eight healthy years, then catch an incurable disease from a fool and die surrounded by enemies. She would never fall in love. Never be happy, but never be unhappy, either. Never have friends. Not even able to wish she could create her own destiny! His poor, beautiful daughter would never belong anywhere. Forever cursed with this unnatural intelligence, this power of foresight. The blood of her parents clashed in her veins like oil and water, forever two halves… and never a whole.

Shizuka patted his shoulder understandingly.

"Don't cry, Hideki-sama. I'm all right."

Mars averted her eyes, mouth pressed in a grim line. She knew her captain's pain. And seeing that Rosethorne girl had just made it all the worse; it had reminded him that the power to raise hell was still out there, in the hands of another naïve, defenseless, seducible young woman. And now, the Marines were after it… which meant that every other bloodsucking power-seeker couldn't be far behind. Bounty hunters, elite pirates, the Seven Warlords, maybe even the Four Emperors.

_When the tide shifts, I truly hope those Strawhats can protect her._

Mars gazed at the product of the last time that happened, as Hideki wiped his eyes and mumbled reassurances to his little daughter. _Because if they don't…_

**.oOo.**

_**– MARINE HEADQUARTERS, NEW WORLD –**_

Vice Admiral Smoker stalked down a corridor of the uppermost floor of Marine Headquarters, footsteps echoing off the walls and floor – moving with a single-minded ferocity towards his destination.

A couple of officers walking down the same hall noticed him and snickered.

"Hey, Smo-yan!" one of them called. "Hear you got your ass handed to you by a seventeen-year old girl!"

Their raucous laughter followed Smoker down the hall. His bandaged fingers involuntarily crushed the sheet of paper clenched in his fist; the Logia was taped across with gauze pads, constricting his movement for the healing of his internal injuries… but that was nothing compared to the damage his ego had suffered with the story of G5's colossal failure being made public. And now a wanted poster for Rosethorne Vera?! Someone had to answer for this.

Smoker burst through the double doors.

_BAM_!

A secretary jumped. "V-Vice Admiral Smoker!" she exclaimed. "Do you have an… appointment…?"

She trailed off as the huge officer walked straight past her desk, crossed the room, and walked right into the office of Fleet Admiral Sakazuki.

Smoker let the doors close behind him. "Sir!"

He marched across the room and slammed the wanted poster down on the massive steel desk. "With all due respect…" he snarled. "What the _hell_ is this?"

Fleet Admiral Sakazuki – also known as Akainu – looked at the paper.

Then, he turned his cruel black eyes onto Smoker. Normally, one look from the Red Dog was enough to send an ordinary man running for his mother, with a build like Mt. Vesuvius and eyes like flint; a gaze with just as much emotionless power and hellish wrath as the volcano. Permanent frown lines were etched in a cruel and stony face. Even sitting behind his desk, Akainu was the personification of his own devil fruit ability – magma, the most unstoppable force of nature.

"A dangerous individual," the fleet admiral rumbled.

He glared at Smoker. "And with all due respect, _why_ _the_ _hell_ are you in my office, Vice Admiral?"

Smoker glared right back, despite the man's superior size and rank. "False charges, sir," he replied. His bandaged finger poked Rosethorne Vera's wanted power. "On her. I filed my report, saying that the battle between my soldiers, the Strawhat Pirates, and the Gale Dancer's Guard caused the damage to that city. The girl did none of this, so why does _she_ have a bounty and not the others?! And what crazy bastards are working at the media, talking about things like 'semikami' and something called a 'Divine Scare?' They state it like it's common knowledge. Even I've never heard of a 'Scare.' So what are they…?"

"Shut up for a second, will you?"

Sakazuki opened a drawer in his desk; Smoker fell silent, glaring attentively at his commanding officer as he waited for him to find what he was looking for.

There was a rustle of paper.

Then, Sakazuki stood. And the hand the size of a trash can lid slammed down two other wanted posters – two wanted posters Smoker had never seen before.

They were faded by time, creased and worn out by overhandling. The first sported two people; a young man and a girl barely in her teens, both with black hair and similar faces. The second was a young woman, but with the faded quality of the picture, she could have been anyone.

Seeing the pictures next to Rosethorne, the vice admiral felt a prickle of apprehension on his neck. Were they…?

The fleet admiral pointed at each of the three posters, in order. "These people all have one thing in common," growled Akainu. "They all came from another world… a world very different than ours.

"They are all _semikami_. Gods, in their own right."

Smoker struggled to contain his incredulousness. But some of it showed on his face; Akainu saw it and scowled. "Studies have been conducted on them and we've found that – if handled poorly – the powers of a semikami can be utilized as weapons of _infinite_ destruction," he told the disbelieving officer. "The reason you didn't know about semikami is because their existence was classified to the highest degree… so the 'Divine Scare' never happened, in essence."

The plume man started. _They covered something like this up? _he thought, stunned.

"Then why reveal it now?" Smoker asked. He gazed at the three semikami with new fear and awe. The creatures stared back at him through time and the lens of a camera… expressions frozen and dull in such an insufficient setting; like diamonds in tin. "And so publicly?"

The fleet admiral glared down at the top of Smoker's head, so intently as if to burn a black mark into the vice admiral's snow-white hair. "We need to capture Rosethorne Vera. Now."

Smoker craned his neck to meet the Hellhound's eyes. "But _why_?!" he demanded.

"You want to know so badly?" Akainu touched the posters again. "The biggest names of the Scare… the Juneko Siblings. Bailey Danielle."

He picked up the most recent one and thrust it in Smoker's face. "And now this… _Rosethorne_ _Vera_," he growled. "Understand this if nothing else. If semikami aren't killed or captured within the first 24 hours of arriving in this world, they survive to join pirate crews, form alliances, gain power, even bastardize _children_ out of pirate scum! Half-breeds like that Gale Dancer, Juneko Shizuka! Their powers allow them to force their will on our world! Force their will on our _justice_! And as for the article…"

Akainu looked at the crumpled image in his fist.

Then he looked back up at Smoker. "Don't underestimate the power of the grapevine," the fleet admiral told him. "Even if they don't, people will act like they know to save face. Word will spread like wildfire. Soon, every bounty hunter and citizen in the New World will be on the lookout for this girl."

The vice admiral stiffened. "But that's –"

Akainu's cruel black eyes narrowed. "Lying to the populace is a small price to pay…"

Slowly, deliberately, he crumpled the poster in his fist – making sure Smoker watched. "To keep creatures like this from people who would use them against us."

His hand transformed into bright molten rock.

Rosethorne's image vaporized in a flicker of flame.

Smoker grit his teeth, feeling a bizarre urge to throttle Akainu as the fleet admiral lowered his arm. Falsifying his report, publicly ruining his reputation, and then using the papers to lie about the events at Kibo Hana, just to capture a girl who hadn't even _done_ anything?!

"Sir," Smoker hissed through his teeth, "this is _wrong_."

Akainu's eyes narrowed. "Don't lecture your superior officer on means to an end, _chibi_," he snarled. "Not after G5's colossal failure on Kibo Hana Island. That I didn't even have to exaggerate. It must be _so_ _embarrassing_ for you."

Smoker's fists clenched. Only years of harsh marine training kept his urge to leap over that desk and punch Akainu in check.

Meanwhile, the Hellhound sat back, sighing. "Lucky for you, I'm giving you a chance to redeem yourself, Vice Admiral," he told Smoker, so _infuriatingly_ at ease. "I know that Strawhat Luffy is your personal vendetta, and since you currently have no unit to command, I'm putting you in charge of capturing his semikami. Congratulations."

The plume man grit his teeth. He wanted to respond with another phrase that wasn't quite so nice as "congratulations." He wanted to say a lot of not-so-nice things now… but his superior officer had made it clear. This conversation was over.

"_Thank_ you," Smoker spat. "_Sir_."

He turned away, and began to walk back to the door – sheer fury churning his stomach to nausea – when a voice made him stop.

"And by the way."

Akainu leveled a stare at Smoker's back that bordered on murderous. "Watch your _attitude_, Marine," he rumbled. "One might think you have _feelings_ for the enemy."

Smoker stiffened.

"And keep in mind, you might be a vice admiral," Akainu threatened. "But that could change at any time."

**…**

**_SOMEWHERE IN THE LATTER HALF OF THE GRAND LINE…_**

"Captain! Captain!"

In the deepest recesses of a New World island, a hulking silhouette shifted in the darkness, curious. It was uncharacteristic of his first mate to be in such a hurry. "Ehh?"

A newspaper was forced into his hands. "Look at this."

It was a wonder that he could even accept it in such utter blackness, but the captain's cruel, narrow eyes flitted over the headline. He immediately flipped it open and scanned the article. "Strawhat Pirates… Marines retreat… massive damage… talk of a second Scare…"

"There's this, too."

Rosethorne Vera's wanted poster fluttered into his lap.

The man picked it up. "HA!" he barked. "One hundred million?! Alive?! HA! Marine HQ must be shitting themselves! An otherworlder bitch hasn't gotten a bounty that high since the Scare back when! Only that brother and sister got higher – oh, what was their name…?"

"Juneko."

The captain laughed again. "That's right, Juneko!"

He crumpled the bounty poster into a ball and threw it into the shadows. It bounced against something soft, and landed with a soft splat into a pool of black blood. "Brings back memories, doesn't it, baby?!"

A guttural snarl answered him.

He kicked up his feet, grinning. "Feisty today, aren't you?"

The first mate glanced at the poster, which was slowly crumpling back open as it soaked up the black, gummy blood – like a parchment flower, desperate for water. "We're not going after her?" he asked. "The last otherworlder we found is on its last leg over at the research center. If we get a fresh one now –"

His captain scowled. "Not if she dies before we get to her. Then she's useless to us."

"But –!"

"But nothing," he said with deadly calm. "Those things are rare and extremely delicate. I'm not expending my resources to start a war with the Strawhats just to have her killed in the crossfire, or before we even get there. No." He placed his hands behind his head, smirking at the cave ceiling, as if sharing a private joke with it. "Remember, we have a spy in the Navy. Let the Marines do the heavy work. Then we'll reap the _benefits_."

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Dang. Okay, who saw that doozy coming? ****I DID! **

**Oh, wait… I'm the author. I don't count. Whoops.**

**Well, whatever.  
****Only uno más capítulo until the end of this arc! It took far longer than I anticipated… but we're finally getting there, aren't we? I don't know about you, but I'm a little sad about the Strawhats leaving Kibo Hana Island. We're not gonna see Hideki, or Mars, or Shizuka again for a long, long time… and I've kinda gotten attached to them! But the Mugiwara no Ichimi are on to even greater adventures, now plus one nakamaaaah…. HEY! Vera still hasn't answered Luffy's question! AUTHOR, HURRY UP AND MAKE HER SAY YES! Oh wait, I'm the author. Whoops. ****What do you think, yes or no? She's a fickle character. Honestly, it could go either way… all depends on her mentality... ****Follow! Review! Favorite! Anticipate! As always.**

**But you might not have so long a wait this time, I'm hoping to have Ch19 up by President's Day! So e****njoy your long weekend, my ducklings! I'll see you on Monday!**


	19. Nakama

**Happy President's Day! Last chapter for this arc… Enjoy. ^/^**

* * *

**Chapter 19:**

**Nakama**

Vera sighed wistfully.

Dangling her feet down from her perch in one of Nami's mikan trees, the brunette raised her face to the wind. Stars already glittered in the east. But in the west, the sun was setting… a beautiful, blazing orange display in the twilight-blue tapestry of the sky. Its glory glowed on the inside of her eyelids, warming her face as she adjusted her earbuds and inhaled the balmy, sweet-and-salty scent of the air – soothed by the subtle scents of sea and citrus. Waves lapped on the hull of the Sunny, and leaves rustled around her hair… but it was just background noise to her iPod's music. She was listening to – of all things – a One Piece soundtrack. "Mother Sea," on a quiet, pensive volume.

Vera sighed again, placing her head gently against the smooth tree trunk. _Even if it is the Going Merry's funeral dirge…_ she thought, smiling peacefully. _It's so pretty._

Realizing the song was coming to a close, Vera pressed the Autoplay button to Replay 1, set her head back against the tree, and listened tranquilly as the song ended and began again. The flutes, bells, and piano keys perfectly suited her mood. It was sad… but beautiful and serene. In this moment, it was truly the echo of her soul.

A couple minutes ago, she had – again – woken up in her bed on the Sunny. The events of the previous night had come back to her in a rush. For a while, she had just lay there, staring at the ceiling. Realizing that what had probably been the only chance to return to her reality… she had missed. But after a few more minutes of feeling sorry for herself – maybe a few tears had been shed, she couldn't remember – she had finally sucked it up, got out of bed, and changed out of her tattered yukata into one of her short-sleeved, red-striped shirts and a pair of denim shorts. Her iPod had been set on her nightstand; she took it and immediately put in the earbuds. She didn't even put on any shoes. She had just left, leaving her bed unmade and her yukata on the floor, to find a place where she wouldn't have to talk to anyone for a while. Eventually, she had climbed into a fine, upstanding member of the Sunny's mikan grove and settled down to watch the sunset.

_**"Vera… ore no nakama ni aru no!"**_

The girl almost sighed again – but caught herself and released the breath normally. She looked down at her hands, picking at the bandages; Chopper must have fixed them up and given her some painkillers, because they didn't hurt at all now. But still, the memory of the glass buried in her palms invoked a mysterious, not entirely unwelcome pain in Vera's chest.

"Nakama, huh?" she murmured to herself.

She looked back up at the sky, thinking back on what she'd said to that weird kid, Shizuka:

"_**Technically I'm not a Strawhat yet," she had told her. "It's not just being on a ship. Luffy would have to ask me, and honestly?" **__**Vera plopped her head back on her arms. "Honestly, I'm not sure if I would say yes."**_

"_**Why?"**_

_**The baby child sounded puzzled. Vera sighed in exasperation and took her head off her arms: "Well, if I said yes, my mentality would feel obligated to stay in this place to fulfill my role as their nakama!" she elaborated, impatient. "And who knows how long that would take. Mugiwara nakama never die and they never leave and they always get attached! Join the Strawhats and I'd become, like, Oda's Favored! I don't want to stay here for what feels like months, or years on end. I have my own dreams."**_

_Mentality, obligation, getting attached…_

Vera thumped her head against the tree, none too gently this time. A few narrow leaves fluttered to the ground. _Geez, why'd it have to _happen_, though?! _she thought, huffing in frustration. _I never even remotely thought Luffy would ask me to be a Strawhat. I didn't want him to, and since I thought he was my imagination he wouldn't want to either. But aside from that…_

_Compared to them… _Vera's eyes flicked to the crow's nest. _I'm pretty useless and weak. _

She laughed to herself. _Heck, I _AM_ useless and weak! But still… _

_I kinda want to, now._

Vera sat there, awkwardly, for a minute.

No response.

Internally, Vera stalked to the doors in her subconscious labeled "Hormones" and "Common Sense" and rang the buzzer about fifty gazillion times. _HELLOOOO?! _she shrieked, drumming on both their doors. _What's wrong with you two?! No rebuttals? No fanspasms? I'm thinking some really crucial and stupid stuff out here concerning my mental health versus the fandom! A little input would be nice, here!_

No one answered at first.

Then, the door labeled "Hormones" opened just a crack.

Fangirl stuck her head out, wearing a sullen expression. _The medical student said to be quiet, _she told Vera. _She said you gotta do this on your own._

_On my own?! _

Vera whirled on Common Sense. _Are you freaking __**kidding**__ me, Vange?! _she squeaked in outrage. _ Normally I can never get you _to_ be quiet, and the one time I ask for your advice you clam up on me? What kind of conscience are you?!_

Inner Vange opened her door, folded her arms, and leaned back against the frame.

Dark eyes gleamed at Vera behind her stylish glasses, completely calm despite her little sister's indignant fury. _I think you have a different view of what I do here than what my job really entails, _the woman said.

Vera blinked. _What?_

Inner Vange sighed and pushed up her glasses. _Look… I am a piece of _yourmind_, sister dear. The same applies to that squealing brat over there. _

_Hey! _Fangirl protested.

Inner Vange ignored her fluffy hormonal counterpart. _In any case, _she continued, _this situation is completely alien. You don't know what to think, even in the deepest recesses of your cerebral understanding. That is why we can't speak. We can't tell you anything you don't already know, sister dear. We're only figments of your imagination, after all._

_Then, what am I supposed to do?_

Vera stared pleadingly up at the beautiful, always-practical image of her big sister. Vange had always been her anchor, the voice that kept her on the straight and narrow. Any wise decision she'd made in her life was because of her guidance. _Can't you just, I dunno, make an exception? _she pleaded, staring down at her feet. _Just this once? Please?_

A moment passed.

Then, Inner Vange reached out… and rubbed the top of her little sister's messy head.

Vera glanced up, startled to see a rare, affectionate smile gracing her features. _Wow, you're really serious, aren't you? I'm really gonna have to decide by myself._

Her voice of reason nodded. _Yes. You have a good head on your shoulders, Vera. I know you'll do well._

Vera frowned.

She reopened her eyes to the sunset. "Doing something well is different than doing something right…" she muttered to herself.

Suddenly…

"Mitsuketaaaaa~!"

* * *

"Found yooou~!"

Vera nearly jumped out of her pants as Luffy slungshot himself onto the same branch – but overshot just a bit. "W-Woah woah woah!" he yelped, shaking the entire tree when he nearly fell right back off again; the brunette seized her mikan tree in a death grip, leaves fluttering to the ground as the rubber man struggled to right himself. But finally, Luffy found his balance.

"Phew!"

He sighed – patting Boshi to make sure it was still in place – then grinned at Vera. "Did you have a good nap?" the Strawhat captain asked. "You sure slept a long time!"

* * *

Heart beating a mile a minute, Vera pried a hand loose from the trunk with some difficulty and paused her iPod. "I-I guess…" she gasped, still a bit shaken from almost being knocked out of a tree by a flying rubber boy.

* * *

Luffy nodded. "Well, good."

Vera pressed a palm to her chest, exhaling noisily upward before she took out her earbuds, muttering in English as she wound them around her iPod and shoved the little black machine in her pocket. Luffy just sat there happily, swinging his feet and watching her. The way the sunset lit her up… he really liked the way it made her skin and hair glow, like liquid gold. He could smell her too. But not in a bad way; she smelled really good – although most of the chocolate scent from her exfoliant had faded over the past two days. If someone had asked him what she'd smelled like now, Luffy would have answered "Vera." He just didn't have anything else to compare it to. But he liked it.

He scooted a little closer.

Vera felt the branch bounce. She paused – then squinted at him, a smirk tugging irresistibly at the corners of her mouth.

Luffy smiled, scooted all the way across the branch, and knocked their foreheads together.

* * *

Vera burst out laughing. "You're so _weird_!" she chuckled, smacking his foot with her leg. "Did you want something?"

* * *

"I told everyone," Luffy informed her happily.

"Told?"

The rubber man nodded. "About Baron Omatsuri and everything," he enthused. He looked out at the ocean, satisfied to feel her eyes on his face. "And you were right! They were okay with it. Even Zoro."

"Oh."

He glanced back at Vera. "So, thanks!"

Vera blew a dismissive raspberry and waved him off. "Noooo… not me."

She busied herself with pulling a leaf out of her hair and examining its texture – not looking at him at all. Like she was avoiding something. Suddenly, Luffy's expression went blank as that something occurred to him.

_**The Gale Dancer gestured behind him, a quiet smile on her mouth. "You still haven't gotten an answer from the last time you asked that question."**_

"You know, that kid was right!"

Luffy swung his leg up and over, so he sat criss-cross-applesauce on the branch – and looked her straight in the eyes; Vera started, staring at him like a deer in headlights. "You never _did_ give me an answer about joining my crew!" he stated, suddenly serious. The Strawhat captain slapped his palms on his knees. "You have to say yes, so just say it already!"

He went still, squinting up into her eyes. "Go!"

* * *

Vera fidgeted – both intimidated and amused by Luffy's intense eyes. It looked like he had initiated some kind of Olympic staring contest.

But… unfortunately, she knew what he wanted.

"Nakama, huh?" she murmured.

Luffy nodded. "Nn!"

Vera exhaled wearily, tucking one of her hated curlicues behind her ear. She'd been dreading this moment, even before she'd found out she'd have to face it without Fangirl and Inner Vange. Honestly, she didn't feel like she could make a decision like this on her own! And fandom aside… this was a big deal. Like she had said to Shizuka, saying yes to Luffy would make her mentality feel obligated to stay with the Strawhats. To fulfill her role, so to speak. If that was the only variable to this equation, she would have definitely said no.

But… last night, she had _missed_ the opportunity to go back home. And it had taken days to present itself. How long would it be before the next came along? Weeks? Months? A year? It was all questions, and no real answers, and Vera was starting to think she might be stuck in this world for a lot longer than she had thought. In the meantime, what was she supposed to do? Where was she supposed to go?

_When I think about it…_ she realized. _I guess I've been the one in denial all this time, not any of them._

With that, Vera decided.

She brought her leg up and over, so she straddled the branch – and looked straight into Luffy's eyes. The rubber man stared back intently, waiting.

"Yes."

* * *

Luffy's face lit up. "Yes?!"

The girl laughed at his expression. "Yes."

"YES!" Luffy threw his hands in the air. He leaned over, calling down through the branches: "Did you hear that, guys?! Vera's our nakama now!"

* * *

"YA TA!"

"GAH!" Vera shrieked and jumped so hard she tipped to one side, slipped, and toppled out of the tree. She hit the grass with a bruising _thud_.

* * *

When she didn't get up, the rest of the Strawhats blinked.

They lowered their arms nervously. _Is she alive…? _they wondered, peering at her motionless form.

* * *

Vera coughed and gasped for air. "Are you frickin' crazy?!" she yelled. She stood up, irately rubbing her sore back. "You Mugiwaras will give me a heart attack at this rate!"

* * *

_Good, she's alive._

"Hup!" Luffy jumped out of the tangerine grove and landed on his feet beside Vera. The Strawhat captain straightened, smiling at his crew – Sanji, Nami, Usopp, Chopper, Franky, Robin, Brook, and…

Luffy counted heads again and looked around. "Oi, where's Zoro?" he asked.

"He said he was tired and went to the crow's nest." Sanji exhaled a lungful of smoke, then dropped the finished cigarette and ground it out on the lawn. "That shithead's going without dinner tonight for missing Vera-chwan's welcoming party…" he muttered vengefully.

The crew chuckled at Sanji's comment.

Luffy laughed aloud and grinned. "More for us!" the rubber man proclaimed. "Now let's welcome our new nakama!"

He gripped Vera by the shoulders, pushing her forward. The surprised otherworlder suddenly found herself caught up in a whirlwind of enthusiastic handshakes, hugs, greetings, and congratulations. Even Chopper and Brook, although they couldn't touch her too much, gave her a slap on the back (or in their doctor's case, her hip) and a "Welcome to the crew!"

When she reached Sanji – surprisingly, the cook didn't have the same reaction as the others. He took her bandaged hands, touching them concernedly; Vera blinked in surprise, turning a bit pink at the gentle fingering of her hands.

Finally, Sanji seemed to finish his examination.

He bowed, maintaining a hold on her right hand. "I'll make dinner tonight," the cook told her, blue eyes smiling up at her. "But when your hands are healed… don't expect me to go easy on you, protégé."

He kissed her fingertips. "Even if you **are** a lady."

* * *

Vera felt her blood pressure spike. She turned bright pink, noodling in place. _I have no idea what he just said… _she fangasmed. _But it sounded HOT~!_

* * *

Luffy brought an end to her raging hormone high by throwing his arms around her from behind. "We should have your pancakes to celebrate!" he chirped. "Chocolate chip pancakes! Chocolate chip pancakes and meat! Lots and lots of meat!"

"_DID__ YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID, YOU RUBBER IDIOT_?!" Sanji yelled. "Vera-chan can't cook until her hands are –!"

"Actually…"

Sanji turned around at Nami's voice. The navigator wore a thoughtful expression, drumming her fingers on her stomach. "Pancakes sound pretty good!" she said.

The other members of the crew got the same expression, and started agreeing all at once. Vera let out a mild strangled noise, which went unnoticed. Sanji hesitated for a moment…

Then, the cook straightened.

"All right!" he consented happily, lighting a new cigarette. "If it's for my sweet ladies~!" Then Sanji aimed a glare at the boys, shutting his lighter with a _ping_ and tucking it in his pocket. "But _I'm_ cooking them."

"Yosha!" Luffy crowed.

He released his stranglehold on his newest nakama. "Let's go, men!" he called, starting for the galley. "Food, food, food~!"

* * *

"Matte."

Everyone turned around.

Vera grinned wickedly at her crewmates. "You guys wanna help me with something?" she asked. She jerked her head towards the crow's nest. "After all… I have yet to say 'arigatou' to the marimo for tossing me into a Kaigun taichou. Who's with me?"

For a few seconds, Vera waited – watching the cogs turn in their heads.

Then the lightbulb went off… and it was like Oars's horns getting stuck in the ground all over again.

Fangirl grinned. _Mugiwara rapefaces are the freakin' best~!_

Vera giggled evilly.

_Yes_, she agreed as the Strawhats converged on the main mast. _Yes, they are._

* * *

**.oOo.**

Zoro yawned and sat up, stretching. "Ah… good nap!"

The swordsman smacked his lips and looked around. Night had already fallen; it was dark in the crow's nest, the only light streaming through the windows from the stars, a sliver of a moon, and faint lamplight from somewhere down below – painting flickering patterns on the floor. Zoro blinked back the last of his drowsiness and went to the window, looking out. Even from here, he could see the galley was ablaze with light and noise, shadows flitting erratically over the portholes as his nakama toasted, ate, drank, and made merry.

"Dinner already? Nobody called me!"

Zoro opened the trapdoor, strapping on his katana and rattling down the stairs. "The shit cook probably just told them to start without me," he muttered as he followed the sound of their voices through the labyrinth of hallways. Finally, he stood outside the galley. "That bastard! I'm going to kick his ass!"

He threw open the doors.

And as if someone had cast a spell over them, the entire room went instantly silent. All eyes turned to him.

Zoro glanced around.

"…What?"

Then, the doors closed behind him – and everyone burst out laughing. Not inconspicuous giggles, either, real gut-wrenching gales of mirth that had them falling off the benches and rolling on the floor. "WHAT?!" Zoro demanded of his nakama. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?!"

"Yohohoho! Oooh, my stomach hurts!" Brook gasped. Then he paused. "Ah! But I don't have a stomach to hurt! YOHOHOHOHO!"

Usopp was practically in tears. "Stop it! I'm gonna pee!"

"I can't take it!" Nami cried, slapping the table.

Even their normally stoic archeologist was chuckling. "You might want to check a mirror, Swordsman-san," Robin informed him.

The baffled kenshi hesitated… then darted down the hallway to the bathroom, threw open the door, clicked on the light, looked in the mirror – and choked. Zoro's green hair was now the color of straw, and someone (or several someones) had used a black marker to add asymmetrical spirals to the ends of his eyebrows and write the characters for "NATIONAL TREASURE" across his forehead; he looked like the ero-cook's retarded cousin! The laughter of his crew echoed down the hall as the man stood there, paralyzed.

"Trust me!" Sanji called, wiping his streaming eyes. "You've never looked better, Zoro-kun!"

A tic went off in Zoro's forehead. The others might have known, but one person would have initiated something like this.

"_**CHIJO!**_"

* * *

"Busted!" Vera squeaked. She got up from her seat and walked speedily for the door. "Nigerou!"

* * *

Her fingers had barely touched the knob when Zoro burst back into the galley. "I AM REALLY GOING TO KILL YOU THIS TIME!" he roared, reaching for his katana. The chijo shrieked, turned tail, and ran out the other door; he pursued, all three swords drawn. "GET BACK HERE!"

* * *

"Relax!" Vera cried as Zoro chased her around the grass, now in full Santoryuu-beast mode. "The ink isn't permanent! And the dye washes out in, like, three days!"

Then she happened to glance back at his pissed features.

Vera snorted. "Sorry…" she giggled. "I just can't take you seriously with that face."

"NANDA TOU –?!"

"Sanji-sensei~!"

"_TEMEEEE_!"

Vera skipped to a halt, bending over to catch her breath as Zoro and Sanji clashed in a whirlwind of blades and long legs. Behind her, the rest of the Strawhats filed onto the lawn – and after a moment – clustered around Nami, placing bets on which blonde would win the fight. Vera smiled at the backs of her silly crewmates… the backs of people that she had known for years, that she knew all about. Up until now, it had only been through a computer screen, or the pages of a manga. But now – whether this was real or not, no matter how long it took to get back to her world – they would always be with her. Always there. Always fun. Always dependable.

_After all_, she had reasoned, _if I'm going to be stuck here for an indefinite amount of time, I might as well be entertained. Right?_

Vera giggled, and then started to laugh aloud.

The sound of her laughter mixed with lapping waves, Zoro and Sanji's bickering, the clink of coins and the bets of her nakama. The stars winked knowingly in the dark sky. This – they knew – was the start of something great; an adventure that would be the disruption of nations, inspiration of urban legend for decades to come… a long, beautiful friendship that would transcend the worlds and change them all.

And nothing – _nothing_ – would ever be the same again.

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Yup. Vera's finally a Strawhat, and so the chaos will ensue. **

**Up go the Author's Notes for da first timeskip! I'm taking a few weeks to work on my "SOCCP: Between the Lines" drabbles, but I might not be able to stay away from my darling canon for very long! Graduation is coming up in the fall, and nothing is certain but that diploma! So, as always… **

**Review! Follow! Anticipate! Vote in the poll on my bio! Love you, my little fanfiction ducklings, and I'll see you when I see you! ^/^**


	20. AUTHOR'S NOTES -1st Timeskip-

**Behold, the first timeskip! XD**

_**Huge**_** shoutouts to the readers that have borne with me all the way to this point! I love you guys!**

* * *

**Chapter 20:**

– **AUTHOR'S NOTES –**

_**1**__**st**__** TIMESKIP**_

**Hey, Brunetta6 here!**

**Sorry if you were expecting a story update, but I do need a chapter buffer for the timskip. And I have IMPORTANT THINGS TO SHARE WITH MY READERS! So please read.**

**First!**

I have a poll concerning the prospective VeraxStrawhat pairings on my bio! Make sure to vote in that. I'm curious to see who the majority ships at the moment. (Also, feel free to PM me any other pairings you ship or name-blends that might pop into your head. For instance, "Veffy" is a lot cuter and easier to type than "Vera x Luffy." Etc, etc…)

**Second.**

The timeskip length. So just to clear things up... the anime con, where Vera fell through some sort of dimensional hole into One Piece, was in the later months of summer 2013 and she landed on the Sunny approximately the same time of year. The timeskip opens out in late November, a couple days short of Halloween.

**Third?**

Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "Come _ON_! All the crazy stuff in this fic happened over just four and a half flippin' _days_! And you're skipping TWO MONTHS of shenanigans?! That's horrible! There has to be so much great characterization and so many fights and pranks and laughs and great slash moments we're missing! You gotta give us _SOMETHING_!"

I am! ** ^3^**

As my loyal followers might have seen already, I have posted another story called "SOCCP: Between the Lines." It's a drabble fic, encompassed of my reader's requests and recommendations… and maybe a few rogue ideas of my own. They're written so you can choose to view them as canon or not. Guidelines will be posted there. Unless specified otherwise, the drabbles will by default take place during the timeskip(s).

What? Oh, yes_. _

_There's more than one._

**I suppose that's it for this author's note! Won't be another one like this for… 2 ½ STORY ARCS. SOCCP gets even better from here on out! Thanks to all my fanfiction ducklings for supporting me! I hope you'll continue to do so as I take you ever deeper into the romance dawn of Rosethorne Vera…**

* * *

**And when I do, expect a tale of the greatest kind.**

**Your humble author,**

_**-Brunetta6**_


	21. Two Months Later

**HISASHIBURI~! Long time no see! But after a month of hiatus, SOCCP is back and better than ever! Two months have passed on the Sunny since we last left off… so what has changed since then? Now, I present to you… the introduction chapter to the ****newest**** arc of Slightly Overdone Chocolate Chip Pancakes…**

**The You-Are-What-You-Eat Arc!**

**I know, like, what the heck. But you'll see what I mean as the plot unfolds. You always do, right? Anyways, I'm gonna stop talking and let you dive in! Enjoy, my ducklings, and nice to have you back!**

* * *

**Chapter 21:**

**Two Months Later…**

"Hurry up!"

"I am hurrying!"

The sky was a clear, blazing blue over Isle 10-J – also known as Dead End – of the New World's Black Nautilus Keys, the sun glaring its hot red eye furiously down on a town under siege. Columns of smoke drifted up from ruined buildings and craters in the packed-dirt roads. Explosions echoed over the dusty city… oddly enough, preceded by cannonfire that sounded oddly like a tinker-toy horn. Three bounty hunters crouched on a rooftop, peering over the edge at something on the street. All of them showed signs of battle. Not one of them didn't have a bruise or a scrape of some kind or clutch a sword or hammer, and their clothes were dirty and torn.

"We called almost ten minutes ago!" the first man hissed to their newest arrival. "Where have you been?!"

"Fighting off a giant dinosaur-tank thing on the next block! The thing's a monstrosity! More importantly, why'd you call right in the middle of a fight like that? You nearly got me killed –!"

His comrade grabbed the back of his head, forcing his eyes down onto the street.

He choked. "Is that…?"

Quickly, he reached into his pocket and took out a battered piece of paper – unrolling it to compare the image of the wanted poster to the real thing. It showed a beautiful young woman, with messy, tousled chocolate curls and brown eyes that glittered mischievously. Her skin – pale copper when the picture was taken – had been tanned a luscious russet by two months of sailing under the New World sun. Her muscles were nothing special, but trying to keep up with an infamous pirate crew had toned them, adding to an already apparent figure. On the wanted poster, she had worn her hair loose and a violet omatsuri yukata that looked like it had been dropped in a wheat thresher… but now, she sported a different fashion statement. A blue-and-white striped, long-sleeved shirt exposed her trim stomach under a black canvas vest with the Crimin label on the back, matching shorts, and combat boots. Swatches of blue and orange added color to the ensemble, along with a belt striped yellow-and-black not unlike hazard tape. A small gun was tucked in a black, garter-style holster on her right thigh. Her nails were painted black as well, and her curls were braided in a long, thick plait that lay lazily over one shoulder and tied at the bottom with a pretty blue bow. But there was no mistake.

Walking down the street, as if she owned it, was none other than their target… the reason why their bounty hunter's nest was now under siege from the Strawhat Pirates. The girl who'd in the last two months come to have an epithet, due to the abnormal printing of her poster and terrible rumors of things she – and her crew – had done to anyone who tried to capture her.

He gulped. "Rosethorne Vera," he whispered in awe. "The 'Live One.' One hundred million berries."

The first man let go, a greedy expression on his face. "That's why we called you. That girl has been the ultimate prize for Barker-sama for over a month now!" he continued, saying the name of their organization's boss. "And she's all alone! We got the drop on her."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" The second man was the most cautious (albeit gullible) of them. "I heard a rumor that the first person that tried to take her alone ended up in the hospital with a bullet up his ass!"

"You're so gullible! People make up stuff all the time about high-bounty criminals!"

"And now that bounty's gonna be ours!"

The first man drew his sword and vaulted off the rooftop. After a moment of hesitation, the other two Barker lieutenants followed. A loud thump made Vera start and turn around as three big, mean-looking guys dropped out of the sky, each wielding a fearsome-looking cutlass and a fiercer expression.

The leader raised his blade. "Let's get her!"

They charged. "RAAAAA –!"

Out of nowhere, a streak of red, blue, and green fell from the rooftops as well. _** WHAM**_.

The three Barker agents were sent flying backwards by a vicious barrage of roundhouse kicks to the face, punches to the gut, and slashes to the chest. They smashed through a storefront on the opposite side of the street with a massive report. They lay there for a long minute, moaning – brains scrambled in their skulls – as the Live One's defenders straightened.

Monkey D. Luffy grinned wider than a peeled banana. "Shishishishi!" the 400-million Berry bounty laughed, pushing up the brim of his infamous straw hat. "You were right, Zoro! That worked like a charm!"

Pirate Hunter Zoro scowled irritatedly. "I was tired of the wild goose chase," the 120-million Berry bounty replied in a voice that rumbled like the earth itself. "And I know how bounty hunters think."

Black Leg Sanji took a long drag on his cigarette. "I'm surprised," the 88-million Berry bounty commented, tossing the golden fringe of his hair. "I always thought traps were a bit too complex for muscleheads like you."

Zoro snarled at the blonde. "_What_ did you say, bitch?!"

Sanji exhaled a lungful of smoke and glared at the swordsman warningly. "Don't snap at me. You should be thankful it worked, because if Vera-chan had been so much as _scratched_ being your 'bait' I would have kicked your shitty green ass!"

"You couldn't kick my ass even if you wanted to!" the marimo snapped.

"Wanna bet on that?" the cook sneered. "Ehhhh?!"

* * *

"Omaeraaaaa!"

Vera glomped onto Sanji's arm. "Watashi no ue ni tatakawanaide kudasai! Watashi wa genkidesu," she reassured him, smiling prettily up at her overprotective sensei. _Don't fight over me, please! I'm fine._

* * *

Sanji repressed his blush with a bit of difficulty – but managed to prop his other hand on his hip and gaze at her sternly. "It doesn't change the fact that you _might_ have been hurt!" he insisted.

His student shook her head playfully. "Sanji-sensei, Zoro, and Luffy protect me! No way!"

Luffy turned to look at the pair, his lips pursed in an adorable pout. "How come Sanji gets all the attention, then?" he whined. "I punched one!"

"Aww! Sorry, Luffy."

Vera released her sensei's arm, skipped over to the rubber captain, and threw her arms around him with exaggerated aplomb. Appeased, Luffy laughed happily, wrapping his arms around her waist and spinning her around a few times for good measure. A month ago, Sanji might have kicked his head in for such impertinence. But now, the cook swallowed his protectiveness and remained silent; he watched Luffy's hands _very_ closely, though… making sure they stayed above the equator. If they didn't – self-control or not, that damn rubber boy was going DOWN.

Finally, Vera's feet touched the ground again. She giggled and patted Luffy's cheek. "Good boy."

Turning, she noticed Zoro glaring in her direction and grinned. "You want attention, too?" the young woman purred seductively.

She tossed her hair. "Zo."

Tucked it behind one ear. "Ro."

And winked at him. "Samaaaaa?"

"LIKE HELL I'D WANT ATTENTION FROM YOU!" Zoro bellowed.

The chijo laughed. The swordsman grit his teeth, glaring at her. "Tch!" he muttered. "Quit messing around! We set up this trap to catch some of these Barker bastards so they could take us to their boss –!"

He turned back to the demolished storefront.

No one was there.

Zoro let out a sound of exasperation and whirled around. "That's _great_. You let 'em get away. Where'd those idiots go?!"

"YOU FOOLS!"

"Hah?"

The Monster Trio blinked. They glanced up at the voice shouting from the rooftop, where the three bounty hunters stood; the second man smacked the first, who had been the one speaking. "You idiot!" he yelled. "They saw us!"

"It doesn't matter!"

With that declaration, he resumed shouting down at Luffy. "Foolish Strawhat!" he declared. His voice was slightly slurred due to the fact his cheek was starting to swell up like a balloon. "You've fallen right into our trap!"

Luffy stared up at him blankly, still holding Vera tight against him.

"You're pretty dumb, you know that?"

* * *

Vera whistled. "Oooooh! OUCH! You want some aloe vera?" she called up to the rooftop. "You just got _buuuuuurned_!"

* * *

The Barker lieutenant grit his teeth in fury. "We'll see who's dumb!"

He raised his fist to the sky. "NOW, MEN!"

There was a roar of affirmation, and in the next instant, the foursome found themselves surrounded on all sides by Barker agents. They had come in from all sides – shops, alleys, every nook and cranny of the street.

The man on the roof threw his arms wide at the crowd assembled below. "Behold!" he shouted, the sun glaring red and threatening behind his thick figure. "All 200 of our Woofer Captains!"

* * *

From Luffy's arms, Vera glanced around, not particularly impressed by the countless evil chuckles and brandishing of sharp weapons so stereotypical of a mob of two-cent enemies that had no idea what they were getting into… but she was more unnerved by the fact that none of them looked the same. They were all shapes, looks, and sizes, and each one had a distinctive outfit and design. Which had to mean they weren't just small fries.

Her palms fisted on Luffy's chest. _Well, crap._

* * *

Sanji bit down on his cigarette. He recognized a lot of these sorry bastards, some of which still bore bandages from the kiss of his Diable Jambe.

"Shit!" he growled frustratedly. "One or two of these guys would be nothing. Ten or twenty would be an annoyance…"

Zoro drew his third sword, tucked it between his teeth, and bit down hard, making sure he had a good grip on it before swinging Shuusui and Kitsune a few times experimentally. He'd had his share of fights with the Woofer Captains this week, too. "But with the chijo to protect, two hundred's gonna be a problem."

* * *

Vera eased out of Luffy's hold. "Bikkuri?" she muttered incredulously in Japanese, half-frustrated with herself for not realizing it earlier. _You surprised?_ "Barker Syndicate wouldn't have made a name for itself in the Shin Sekai if they were _complete_ pushovers, Zoro-kun."

* * *

Luffy laughed, carefree as usual. "Shishishishi! She's got a point!"

The Santoryuu swordsman exhaled hotly and ignored them both. A beat passed. Tension hung thick in the air; Franky had already reported a sub coming in from the coast, and they had only so long to find the Barker boss before he picked up roots and used it to flee to yet another island of the Nautilus Keys. It had been happening all week – this frustrating game of come-and-get-me – but the Strawhat Pirates were determined it stop this week, this day, this hour. The Woofer Captains had come out for a reason. They were _sooooo_ _close_. But defeating them normally would take longer than they had!

IF. They did it normally.

Sanji plucked the softly burning cigarette from his lips and stepped forward. "Looks like we have no choice."

He grinned back at Vera. "Ready to test out your new bullets again, _protégé-_chan?"

The girl's eyes widened. "Ehhh? But…"

Shamefaced, she gazed through her lashes at the ground. "But last time –!"

* * *

Pat.

Vera started as she felt a big, warm hand touch the top of her head. She blinked, then looked up into a gaze sparking with such unbelievable trust and pride it disarmed her for a second – leaving her staring up into her captain's gorgeous black eyes like a retard.

Luffy smiled. "Vera ni sore o nokosu." _Leave it to Vera._

He ruffled her hair one more time. "Wareware wa hijō ni chikai!" he told her.

Then, Luffy turned his eyes on his enemies; the ones that would hurt his nakama. Something changed in them. A murderous light shone out from under the shade of his infamous straw hat.

He cracked his knuckles, grinning in anticipation. "Ganbatte!"

_We're so close! Hang in there!_

Vera blinked, trying to get her brain working again as he walked over to take his place between Zoro and Sanji. Close to what? Leave what to her?

Then she shook herself. _Oh, right._

Vera reached into the back pocket of her shorts and pulled out a slim ammunition cartridge that had been patterned with the same black-and-yellow stripes as her belt; Usopp and Chopper had given her these, saying they were experimental and not to be used unless under dire circumstances. She stared at the box's bright hazard colors, torn. This wasn't really _dire_, was it? The last time she tried it in battle she'd misaimed and it had exploded over Sanji-sensei's head, knocking him unconscious and costing them an hour in retreat. Because of her, they'd missed the boss and had to pursue him here, to Dead End. The cook's only injuries had been a popped eardrum and a few scratches from the shell fragments… but it still invoked hesitation in Vera. What if she hit Zoro this time? Or even worse, Luffy?

_OH, SCREW IT. JUST SHOOT IT!_

Before she could rethink her decision, Vera grabbed her gun from its holster, dropped the used cartridge, and slipped in the new one. She heard it snap into place. She took aim above the Monster Trio's head – _well_ above, this time – sucked a breath in through her nostrils…

_Here goes nothing…! _ she cringed.

* * *

The Barker lieutenant leaned over the edge of the roof, squinting down at the Live One. "What the hell is she –?"

Vera pulled the trigger. _POW!_ _Pop! Pop! Pop! _

A series of reports echoed off the dusty stone walls as the first shell was fired from the gun's initial shot, then when the delicate outer coating almost immediately imploded on itself from air pressure – releasing a trio of smaller, armed spheres, too big and too few to be shotgun pellets. That, and they were _ticking_. For a long moment, the three tiny bombs seemed the hang in the air over the Woofer Captain's heads. Then…

_**BOOOOM!**_

They all exploded at the same time in a burst of deafening noise, packed gunpowder, and shrapnel. Vera yelped and covered her head; Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji stood tall, riding out the storm. Meanwhile, the Woofer Captains yelped and cursed as they were showered in a mysterious red mist – heated to boiling by the violent detonation.

**…**

Across town, Brook turned his head towards a sound echoing over the rooftops; akin to setting off a bomb right after firecrackers at New Year's. But not because of the sound. Because, in that direction, a thin film of white otherworlder energy bloomed over the darkness, and folded over; one, no, two hundred figures. The Soul King could sense them like the painful afterimage of a bright flash in the black. Radiating around the central star that was Vera-san, he caught an echoing sense of awe and anticipation… and the image of Luffy-san, Zoro-san, and Sanji-san lunging forward into battle.

"Yohohohoho…"

The skeleton turned back to the bay and raised the binoculars back to his eye sockets, humming cheerfully as he watched Franky and Nami-san destroy the Barker submarine. "It worked swimmingly that time! I'm so happy my heart could burst!"

He lowered the binoculars. "Ah, but I don't –!"

**…**

* * *

Vera put in her earbuds, nervously reloading her pistol with normal lead shots. She quickly hooked in her earbuds and clicked to a random song on her newly created "Fight Playlist." _I really hope this works…!_

She pressed play.

* * *

_**A/N: "Remember the Name" (Clean Version) by Fort Minor**_

_**PRESS PLAY**_

While the others were panicking and cursing, one of the Woofer Captains touched his face. He examined the fine crimson drops on his fingers.

His brow furrowed. "Koreha –?"

_WHOOM_.

Sanji's foot broke the sound barrier and buried itself in the man's gut so hard, he flew backward through the crowd of his comrades and smashed into the wall, taking several dozen with him. The cook lowered his foot cautiously, watching…

Then – blood decorating their faces like sweat-smeared warpaint – they slid to the ground. Out cold.

Sanji grinned in excitement. "Umaku itta!" he yelled. _It worked!_

Then he proceeded to turn his wrath on another unsuspecting group of Woofers. Zoro and Luffy had already discovered it for themselves. The rubber man punched out ten guys at a time. The cook sent bodies flying like a wrecking ball through bowling pins. The swordsman sliced the air into a frenzy of razor wind. Each attack – even though the Monster Trio was at their normal strength – seemed to cause a hundred times the damage it normally did. Vera stomped her foot, silently fangirling… then regained her head and aimed her pistol.

_Now this is more like it!_ she thought.

And proceeded to take potshots at legs and arms as her boys plowed their way through the crowd of Woofers; unfortunately, her fire attracted the attention of a smaller captain who unfortunately had stayed clear of Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji's initial assault. He roared and rushed at her, hammer raised.

Vera ejected her spent cartridge and slapped in a new one.

_Snap_. "Baka."

Hearing her ammo click into place, she raised her gun and pulled the trigger.

_BAM_! The bullet pierced straight through his upraised elbow like a hot knife through butter. The idiot screamed and dropped his hammer. With the threat of his weapon gone, Vera ran in under his guard while he was still discombobulated. She kicked him in the fork of his legs with her heavy, steel-toed combat boots (a gift from Nami, actually), hoping fervently he wasn't wearing a cod. It became clear pretty quickly that he wasn't; he squeaked an octave higher than any man whose balls should have dropped should, grabbed his crotch, and fell to his knees. Vera struck a sensitive piece of his skull with the butt of her gun. He went down.

She smirked, high with bloodthirst by the rap in her ears. _Twenty percent, anyone?_

The otherworlder brought her weapon back up and proceeded past him, her shots ringing out as she closed closer into the melee. Only about fifty of the enemy were left after less than a minute. Sanji-sensei immediately took notice of her. He quickly smashed a man's skull against the ground then backed up so their backs would be touching.

"Daijōbu?" the blonde man asked out of habit.

He roundhoused another guy into Vera's range. She shot a bullet under the Woofer's shoulder blade – incapacitatingly painful, but not fatal. Gone was the helpless girl of two months ago, relying on the strength of the Strawhat Pirates to keep her safe. She'd taken lessons from the King of the Snipers. She'd spent hours watching the feral moves of the battlefield. And it hadn't taken long for Rosethorne Vera to become just as much as a presence in combat as her nakama. Maybe not as strong, or as skilled. But… it made her feel powerful. Which made her enemies believe it, too, invoking the fear and intrigue of a cobra with its rattle erect. She _loved_ that feeling.

Vera turned her head, grinning viciously at Sanji. "Mochiron!"

* * *

Sanji blinked… then returned the feral smile before returning his attention to the battle. Now he was eager to kick some ass. _That's my student!_ he thought.

Adrenaline jumped in his veins. _Her attitude's damn contagious!_

Meanwhile, across the way, Luffy punched out another Woofer captain and whirled – but suddenly, something caught his eye on the rooftop. His eyes narrowed; the three first bounty hunters had seemed to realize this fight wouldn't end well for them, and were attempting to make an escape before they drew too much attention again.

A vein pulsed in his temple.

Luffy whirled. "OI!" he yelled to Sanji and Vera.

Fighting back-to-back about fifteen yards to his right, they turned to look. The captain launched his rubber arm across the distance – getting a grip on Vera's hand, where her power wouldn't have full effect on him. "They're running away!"

He yanked. "GET 'EM!"

* * *

Vera barely had time to say "Eh?" before Luffy slingshot her across the dusty pavement and into the air. She hadn't even had time to hear what he said… but now, she was soaring over a rooftop. But quickly, the brunette spotted the three guys that had attacked her first (trying to be all sneaky and make an inconspicuous getaway off the roof, yeah right!).

She had never taken a midair shot before, and by her count, she only had two more bullets left. Or was it three?

The semikami cocked her pistol one more time. Well, _they_ didn't know either. _And if I make this shot, wouldn't it be the coolest thing in the world?!_

So, Vera squeezed off two rounds.

The first one found a home in the third man's knee, effectively hamstringing the bounty hunter and lodging in the back of his kneecap. He shrieked and folded like wet paper. Unfortunately, the second one missed, missing its target on the far left and impaling itself in the rooftop. Vera would have tried again, but by then she had hit the top of her curve, so she snapped the safety back on, stiffened her legs, let gravity take over…

And SLAM! Her heavy boots smashed into the middle guy's lower back, right in the kidneys – the loud idiot who'd summoned all the Woofer Captains. The impact knocked him to the ground, leaving Vera sitting on him, shoes planted on his shoulders and a pistol cocked on his skull.

"I know what you're thinking," Vera informed him casually. "Did I fire six shots or only five?"

The man's eyes stiffened. He obviously didn't understand English (which was a real pity for such an epic quote as this) but it was just as apparent he didn't like her tone of voice. So Vera went on. "Well, truth is in all this excitement I've lost track, myself," she told him. "So, you only have to ask yourself one question! 'Do I feel lucky?'"

She clicked off the safety, the last thunder of music fading from her ears.

"Well? Do ya?" Vera grinned, smirking down the muzzle of her gun with as much cockiness as she could muster. "Punk?"

**(A/N: soundtrack fadeout…)**

He hesitated. She felt it. "Go ahead. Make my –"

"GOMU GOMU NO… ROCKETA!"

"KYAAAAA!"

Of course, that had to be the _exact_ moment when Luffy slungshot _himself_ onto the rooftop. The last guy squealed like a girl as the Strawhat captain landed on top of him, knocking him to the ground and putting his lights out with a well-placed fist. A green-haired swordsman and a familiar hotrod blonde followed him up onto the roof with ease. Zoro and Sanji looked around, surveying the aftermath.

The man under her butt sweatdropped.

Vera rolled her eyes at them. "Sure!" she announced, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Just go ahead and steal my thunder, I don't mind at _all_."

* * *

"Shishishishi!" Luffy chuckled happily. "We did it!"

_HONK_!

Suddenly, a building across the street exploded all to bits – as if hit by cannonfire. Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and Vera all straightened, looking curiously over, expecting another threat… then all of them smiled and relaxed as none other than the Sunny's Channel Five, Brachio-Tank 5, rumbled through the smoke. The huge dino-like gigasteel weapon rolled over to the foot of their building and came to a stop.

Its top opened.

Usopp popped his head out. "Hey!" the sharpshooter greeted, waving merrily.

Vera brightened visibly. "Usopp-kun!"

Zoro glared at him crossly as the chijo hopped off the bounty hunter and went over to give their long-nose a hand up onto the roof. "You're late," he informed him. "We already took care of them all."

"It was surprisingly easy," Sanji said. The cook lit another cigarette. "I admit, the concept of bullets filled with Vera-chan's blood repelled me at first, but it was surprisingly effective."

Usopp's face lit up. "Ha ha!"

He looked at Vera for confirmation. "So they worked?!"

"Mm!"

"That's _awesome_! Blow it up!" the sniper told her in halfway decent English. He held out his fist; Vera pounded it, blew it up, and brought it back. Both did an ostentatious pelvic thrust to the left. "Uh!"

"So!" Usopp turned emphatically to the other boys. "Give me the details! Blow by blow, don't leave anything out!"

Zoro scowled thunderously at him. "Aren't you _forgetting_ _something_?"

The sniper blinked, confused. "Hah? What?"

"YOU MORON!" The marimo aimed a look at the last remaining bounty hunter, who'd been trying to quietly army-crawl away from the Strawhats; now Zoro viciously planted a boot against his back, ending any hopes of that. "This guy's boss! That bastard Barker! We gotta find him now or he's gonna get on his damn submarine again and run away to who-knows-where, AGAIN!"

"Oh! Brook's group destroyed that sub. He's not going anywhere," Usopp told him. "And Robin found his hideout."

He gestured behind him, where Chopper and Robin waved from the cockpit of the Brachio-Tank. "Everyone's heading there now. We just stopped to pick _you_ guys up."

There was a moment of tense silence.

"Well… _why did you tell us that in the first damn place_!" Zoro demanded. He unceremoniously pitched their captive bounty hunter off the roof and marched down into the tank, positively seething. "Geez! Let's get going, already!"

Usopp raised an eyebrow. "What's got him in such a huff?" he asked.

Vera shrugged. "Zoro having a hissy fit?" she replied, smirking.

"SHUT UP, CHIJO!" the swordsman snapped from the cockpit. "You're the reason we're doing all this, so get the hell in here already!"

"Hai, Zoro-_chwan_."

Zoro was reduced to inarticulate squawks of fury as Sanji chuckled evilly, bowed, and gave his trollish protégé a hand down into the cockpit before entering, himself. Usopp followed, closing the hatch over their heads. Engines snarling back to life, Brachio-Tank 5 rumbled off down the street to the southern coves of Dead End.

**.oOo.**

In the darkness of a subterranean submarine-dock, a hulking shadow paced nervously. Wrapped in a raggedy trenchcoat, built like an old, stony hill, and wearing a soft, floppy hat hid a face doughy and unthreatening as uncooked gingersnaps, Birchen S. Barker – boss of the Barker Syndicate and in truth, criminal _**un**_extraordinaire – wiped beads of sweat off his upper lip. He wrapped his stubby fingers back around the large parcel in his hands. That sub had been scheduled to arrive twenty minutes ago! Where –?!

Finally, Barker spotted a stirring deep in the water. "Finally…!"

He sighed in relief and lumbered over to the edge of the stone outcropping just as a dark, navy-blue sub surfaced. "What took you so long?!" he demanded as the hatch opened. "The Strawhat Pirates are literally _right_ behind me!"

He stepped up onto the craft. "We're starting to cut these things _way_ too close –!"

"STRONG RIGHT!"

Franky popped out of the top of the Shark Submerge and punched the old fatso off his creation. Barker flew backwards, bounced off the rough-hewn stone wall, and rolled with his massive girth down the path back toward the entrance of the coves.

Brook poked his head up beside Franky. "What just happened, if I might ask?"

Nami punched past the skeleton and landed in a crouch on the outcropping, Climatact in hand. "Don't let him get away!" she yelled.

Franky and Brook saluted. "Roger that!"

A good ways already down the path, Barker's heart – already overtaxed by his obesity and stress – was going into overdrive from fear. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit –!" the man repeated over and over, rolling on and on through the maze of corridors. "They found me they found me they found me! Now I'll never get my hands on that girl! I'm dead! I'M _DEAD_!"

_ HONK! __**BOOM!**_

Barker's life flashed before his eyes as the Brachio-Tank 5 blasted its way through a wall, again launching his body backwards into stone. He smacked his head and landed with an awkward _splat_ in a pile of pebbles, almost under the treads of the tank; meanwhile, Usopp popped the hatch again to take a look around.

The sharpshooter blew a frustrated raspberry. "I don't see any water! Dammit, Robin, are we lost?"

"Pulling a marimo, are we?" Sanji whispered in Vera's ear. The brunette snorted and started to giggle; the cook did, too. Zoro aimed a suspicious glare at them.

_I hate it when they do that,_ he thought, still a little pissed from being addressed as a "chwan."

The archeologist peered through the tank's peephole… and with a start, spotting a gargantuan lump of quivering flesh only a few yards away from her face. "Long Nose-san," she called. "What is that?"

Usopp looked down at her. "What is what?"

She pointed, even though he couldn't see. "There. At two o' clock, near the treads."

"Hahhh?!"

The sniper craned his head to the right, and finally managed to see the mound he'd very nearly run over. "Oh, I see it. Oiii!" he called. "Old man, you okay down there? Are you taking a nap or what?"

Nami skidded around the corner. "It's not some old man!"

Franky and Brook rounded the corner just behind their navigator; they all rushed the Brachio-Tank. The shipwright grabbed the fat lump and threw it into the open. The three surrounded it, aiming their weapons warily at its shivering surface.

"It's Barker!" she yelled.

The next moment, Usopp was squashed against the rim of the hatch as his six other nakama lunged up from the cockpit to get a look. "EEEEEEEEH?!"

A couple minutes passed as they tried to get themselves in order. More than a few people got bumps on the head from Nami for making too much noise… but finally, they had the elusive Barker chained to a stalagmite. They'd even used seastone, in case he had an unexpected Devil Fruit ability. They didn't know much about this guy, and they sure as hell weren't taking any chances.

The fact of the matter was, for the past month agents from the Barker Syndicate had been consistently, persistently, and _always_ pursuing Vera, no matter where the Thousand Sunny went or who went with her. Even after they'd taken to having Zoro himself be her bodyguard (that or Nami threatened to increase his debt by the millions), they'd still attacked. Finally, they'd captured one of them and gotten out of him two pearls of information – the name of his syndicate's boss, Birchen S. Barker, and that he had made the capture of Rosethorne Vera their top priority before anything else. Three weeks after that, they'd tracked the Barker Syndicate headquarters to the Black Nautilus Keys… and for an entire week, the Strawhats had been island-hopping around the ten small islands that made up the Keys, led on a wild goose-chase by Barker's hit-and-run tactics. There had even been half a dozen _fake_ Barkers! Many of them had compared the chase to trying to catch a specter with your bare hands. But no one dared even suggest they give up – not with Luffy's fury towards the Barker Syndicate's threatening Vera, not to mention his hatred for such cowardly guerilla warfare. Now, they were glad they hadn't given up the ghost.

Robin's mouth twisted in distaste. "So…this is the real Birchen S. Barker," she mused.

Her aqua eyes narrowed as she looked over their grotesque, trembling captive. "What a disappointment."

Zoro's blunt fingers drummed audibly on his sword hilt. "_This_ is the bastard that forced _me_ on bodyguard duty?" he growled. "I bet Usopp's grandmother could have beat this son of a bitch up!"

"Not sure how I should take that…"

The sharpshooter aimed a trollish glance at him. "Zoro-chwan."

He offered Vera a fist. She giggled and touched it with one of her own.

The Santoryuu swordsman debated slicing Usopp to teach him a lesson… but decided after a moment Luffy wouldn't get off his back if he did. So he just ground his teeth and stayed quiet. He'd get that chijo back someday.

Nami hoisted the package Barker had been holding. "This seemed pretty important to him," she observed. That was an understatement; it had taken three of them to make the fatso let go of it. She lifted some of the rags it was wrapped in. "Wonder what it is?"

Barker's head whipped up. "Don't touch that!" he begged. "_HE_ gave it to me! You can't touch it –!"

But Nami already had it open. The mountainous man's doughy jaw dropped as he watched the Strawhat navigator carelessly sort through the contents. "You didn't even _hesitate_!" he exclaimed, struggling against his chains. "Have you no respect for other people's property?! Cat Burglar?!"

Nami didn't even look up. "That's rich, coming from you."

The rest of her nakama gathered around her to get a look at what was in the box; Luffy jumped up onto a low boulder, crouching so he could see better. "What's in it?" he asked impatiently. "Huh? What's in it, what's in it?!"

"DON'T RUSH ME!" Dragon-Nami snapped.

Properly chastised, Luffy pouted and rocked back and forth on his heels, watching the redhead reach back into the package… and pull out a slim white box.

Nami blinked. "Eh?"

She peered closer at it, flipping it once, then back over again. It didn't seem to be a remote of any kind; the buttons weren't big enough, and they were on the sides, not the top. Instead, there was a strange, raised double-rectangle pattern and some kind of black lens on the bottom corner of one side. "What is this?"

* * *

"Oooo!"

Vera plucked it out of Nami's fingers. "A 3DS! I always wanted one of these!" she exclaimed, excitedly flipping it open. She pressed the on button, half-expecting it to stay black. But the screen lit up!

"Holy _crap_, it has power!"

The semikami pulled her braid out of the way and sat on the floor, oblivious to the stares of her nakama. "Oh pleasepleaseplease have Pokémon! I haven't played a gaming system in months~!"

* * *

"Hey, it's another one of those doll things!"

The Strawhats started, glancing back just in time to see Luffy pull out a plushie – one of the same size and materials as the pretimeskip dolls of the Monster Trio Vera had brought with her to this world. Except this one they didn't recognize; this one was obviously a girl. It had long violet hair, thick bangs, and big eyes of the same color, dressed in a cute mint green dress.

But the strange thing was… the entire right side of its body was splattered with red dye. And it held a stuffed, bloodstained butcher's knife. Sewn onto its right hand.

Even without the gory nature of the plushie's design, the rest of the Strawhats were disarmed enough by just the appearance of another of these eerie dolls. Once Luffy realized what it looked like, he screamed and dropped it like a hot rock. Nami let out a bloodcurdling shriek before she clamped her hand over her mouth. Chopper and Usopp clung to each other, trembling violently. Sanji took a step back. Only Zoro stood his ground. Robin's eyes widened. "A knife on the same side of the body as blood that thick, with that splatter pattern?"she realized aloud. "She would have had to have stabbed her own carotid artery."

The archeologist cringed visibly. "Over and over."

"STOP MAKING SUCH MORBID COMMENTS!"

* * *

"Well, shoot!" Vera muttered. "It's only got Mario Smash Brothers. I hate that game!"

She turned off the power and placed the 3DS on the ground. With that, the brunette picked herself up and wandered back over to her nakama to see what had gone wrong. "Alright, do shita no?" she asked, peering over their shoulders.

On the ground, Vera spotted a plushie of Rika from the anime Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni and grimaced. She'd never seen a doll made to resemble its character's own death scene. Geez, that was creepy!

The semikami picked it up, brushing some of its purple-yarn hair out of its red-speckled face.

"Well, I'll take Gory for 400, Alex," she commented, and dropped it back in the box. "Got anything else?"

When all she got was a universal Strawhat-jaw drop in response, she peered inside, looking for more goodies. But all she saw was an old, beat up letter – yellowed and spotted by time and seawater. Even though it didn't look too interesting, Vera fished it out and opened it.

"Well, I'll be darned it's in English!"

Vera squinted at the blurred writing. It was shaky and weirdly spaced, too, like someone had wrote it when drunk or half-asleep. "'Eustass Captain Kidd,'" she began to read, "'I know you are pursuing me, and eventually, so you'll find this note. I originally planned to return to my world, but now I know I'll die of exposure and starvation before I ever get close, so I intend to take my own life before this place affects my brain even more. By the time you read this I'll have already met my demise, so I want you to know something that will make you hate me even when I am dead. I took the baby, you lousy mother –'"

Vera placed a thumb over the second half of the word. "Whoah. Dang, this guy had a temper."

She continued. "'You'll never find her. I sealed the crystal pose, too. The key is at the bottom of the ocean with Alucard, but you'll never find him, either. Feel free to search. Waste your life and drown in blood, you…'"

She hesitated again. "Uh, 'mmmmm-ing mmm.'"

The brunette waved the letter at her nakama. "Signed by some guy named _Skylar Juneko."_

"Nani?!"

Robin took it from her, running her eyes desperately over the English runes. "Juneko?" the archeologist repeated; she looked up at Vera. "Anata wa _zettai_ ni kakushin shite imasu?"

_Are you absolutely…?_ Something. _Are you absolutely sure?_

The otherworlder nodded. "Nn," she replied. "That's what it says. Naze?"

* * *

"Why?" Vera asked.

Robin didn't answer. She just looked at the weather-beaten letter again, mesmerized by the mysterious text. Even after months of picking up English words and phrases from Rosethorne-san, it was nearly humiliating to realize that – for all her knowledge – she was completely illiterate in the dead language of the otherworlders.

Robin chuckled to herself. It was almost amusing.

Barker chose that moment to speak up. "I-I said not to touch that!" he yelled. A shadow came over the archeologist's eyes. She tucked the letter surreptitiously into her cleavage and turned to face the large man chained to a rock who was making so much noise. "You can't –!"

"Who gave you this package?" Robin asked. "What for?"

Barker blinked. "W-What?"

"I hate slow people."

Barker choked.

"_Who_. _Gave_. _You_. _This_. _Package_? _What. For?_" the woman repeated, like she was speaking to someone retarded. A dark aura was exuding off the Devil's Child, making even her crewmates shrink back for fear.

The pathetic syndicate boss swallowed. "Him! I-I mean… the scientist!"

Nami stepped forward. "What scientist?" she demanded sharply. Now they were getting somewhere.

"I-I can't…!"

By this time, Zoro was getting to the end of his rope. Subject to a pet honorific, forced to be a bodyguard for the chijo, and finding out the guy behind all of it was a spineless pansy all in one day?

"TELL. Us." Zoro snarled, pulling out one of his swords – aura blazing with killing intent. "_NOW_!"

After that, Barker didn't need much persuasion. Maybe a new pair of pants, but definitely not persuasion.

"The Marine scientist!" he sang, terror throwing his voice to such a high pitch he actually _sounded_ like a canary. "He lives on the center island of the Keys! Isle X-J! About two months ago, he brought me to there and gave me a job! Really simple, free ride home, pay on delivery stuff! Just capture that crazy Live One bounty everyone's been talking about! I asked why and he gave those to me, saying they're proof of beings from another world! He's frickin' crazy! You have to believe me! I mean, he gave me a meal and on the sail home I grew THESE! Then I went back to give him back the stuff, say I wasn't his man and he COLLARED ME!"

Barker shook off his big floppy hat, in the same motion knocking down his trenchcoat collar. "Look!"

The Strawhats all took a step back.

Underneath the doughy man's hat were ears. Not human ears… _**dog**_ ears. Big, twitchy dog ears, so infested with fleas they could see the black specks swarming from all the way over there. But what Barker had been hiding on his neck was even more bizarre; a chunky, mechanical ring with a homing light peeping over his Adam's apple. A tiny lens scoped in and out – zooming in on the Strawhat's stunned faces.

Chopper swallowed. He rubbed his neck, as if checking for one around his own throat. "Ears and a collar… just like a dog."

Franky raised his sunglasses. "Well, at least his name suits him."

"I'm not _joking_!"

Barker shook his head. Tears and snot streamed down his face; even Robin was taken aback. When he was caught and chained, at least he'd tried to keep a semblance of composure. Now, just mentioning a single man had reduced him to a blubbering mess of fleas and fat. "You guys have no idea what you're dealing with!"

He glared up at them. "You've been to all ten of our islands, right?! Look at your log pose!"

Without thinking, Nami glanced down at the magnetic compass on her wrist. Given to her on Fishman Island, the New World log pose had three needles instead of just one – and normally, each needle was supposed to point to a different island, each one shivering at its own rate by how dangerous the indicated land mass would be. Nami knew it all.

So it threw her when she saw all three needles were pointing in the same direction. All shaking so hard they'd put Raijin to shame.

Nami's pupils dilated in shock. "What the –?!"

"What's wrong, Nami-san?" Sanji asked concernedly.

The others turned to look as their navigator tapped the globes on her log pose frantically, but none of them changed. The fiery redhead whirled on Barker. "What the hell is this?!" she demanded, pointing indicatively at the misbehaving needles.

Barker sniffed up most of his snot. "Your pose been caught in the All-Catch Current," he informed her. "And now you have no choice but to go there. To that island."

He gazed up at them, only trembling slightly now. "Why did you _think_ this island is called Dead End?"

Then, Barker sneered – staring at something just behind them with the eyes of a man with nothing to lose. "I guess it's true…" he murmured. "He does always get what he wants! Ha ha.

"Ha! _HA HA HA HA HA HA_ –!"

A foreboding shiver ran up Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Chopper, Usopp, Nami, Robin, Franky, and Brook's backs – even if skeletons couldn't get goosebumps. They all turned around to see what he was looking at…

* * *

Vera stared back at her nakama, who were staring at her like she'd grown a second head.

"...What?"

**.**

* * *

**A/N: This chappie was originally intended to be combined with the next (a loooong one for coming off hiatus) but there was a good stopping point right there and Ch22 will be loooong even without it. **

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed! This was what is was; just a prologue to the You-Are-What-You-Eat as well as how relationships have established themselves over the past 2 months. The next chappie will go into better detail, be much longer, and a LOT funnier… but I'm curious to what you think so far. So review! You help yourself by reviewing! They make us writers motivated to write. ^_^**

**And thanks. It's nice to be back~!**


	22. The All-Catch Current

**Yay! I had so much fun writing this one…and I used my ENTIRE spring break to finish this one for you guys, so I hope you appreciate it. **

**Enjoy~! xP**

* * *

**Chapter 22:**

**The All-Catch Current**

Sanji took the last drag on his cigarette. The dawn burned red as its soft, crackling tip, and the sky glowed like a blacksmith's forge in the east – its bloody rays piercing both eyes, even through his curtain of shimmering golden hair.

He exhaled a lungful of smoke. _Red sky in the morning, sailor's warning._

Silhouetted against the rising sun, the cook pulled the spent filter from his lips and swiftly flicked it overboard. He spared a moment to watch it go out – sizzling in the warm, flat cerulean water, growing dim, and begin its long, long journey to the depths – then turned away from the rail and began to pace around the lawn, occasionally grunting frustratedly to himself. That morning had dawned harsh, sweet, and cold. The sails of the Sunny hung lifelessly, and each day had been growing colder than the last, Sanji had been sleepless for three hours already…

And now the All-Catch Current pulled incessantly at the Sunny's anchor, creating the only ripples on the sea he could see, drawing them ever closer to the mysterious island of Barker's acclaimed "mad scientist."

"_**HA HA HA… OOF!"**_

"_**Sanji-kun!" Nami exclaimed at their cook, who had just cut off Barker's maniacal laugh with a kick to the gargantuan gut. Sanji pulled his shoe from the folds of the syndicate leader's belly fat, grimacing in disgust; but it had been worth it to finally smash the wind out of that fat lummox. They were back on Dead End, confronting Barker in the southern coves – and now all eyes were on Sanji as he set his foot down to the stony cave floor, a fierce gleam in his eye. **_

"_**And what would your crazy man want with our Vera?" he growled at the heaving, fleshy mountain before him. "Eh?!"**_

_**Barker gagged and stared back up at him, still trembling and winded from Sanji's kick. "How should I know?!" he yelped. "He said he'd pay me good money for her and I gotta eat too, ya know!"**_

_**Chopper glanced concernedly at the syndicate leader's gut. "That's for sure."**_

"_**Oi… don't be rude. But man, he rules a thousand cannibal Aborigines, controls a bazillion maneating monsters, and has a frickin' KRAKEN as his pet!"**_

"_**Aborigines?" Robin repeated, tripping a little over the pronunciation.**_

"_**Cannibals?! Monsters?!" Usopp squealed.**_

"_**A KRAKEN?!" Luffy exclaimed, starry-eyed. "That's amazing! How big is its poop?"**_

"_**THAT'S NOT THE QUESTION WE SHOULD BE ASKING!" the Strawhats yelled, smacking their irresponsible captain into the wall. "GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!"**_

Sanji grit his teeth as he paced back and forth. He pulled out his lighter, flicked on a flame, then shut it with a ping – a nervous tic he'd developed after a 24-hour incident when Vera had been held prisoner by a bunch of mountain bandits who'd also had the gall to steal his last pack of cigarettes. Needless to say, one pirate cook had proved himself worth far more than just twenty of those shitsacks… but the habit had stuck, anyway. _A mad scientist, weird currents, monsters, cannibals, and a kraken? That Barker bastard had to have been delirious from fear, or drink, or something! _

Sanji sighed and shut the lighter. _I sure _hope_ he was exaggerating or out of his mind!_

'_TIS NO MATTER~!_

Deep in the recesses of his brain, a door opened and out popped the voice of his playboy side of thinking – whom, in Sanji's mind's eye, had an eerie resemblance to his appearance of two years ago but for one significant difference; his eyebrow didn't curl into a spiral, but a heart sort of shape. And he _never sobered_! This recently developed voice of the more women-obsessive side of his conscience, Sanji had grudgingly come to acknowledge as "Loverboy."

_Tis no matter what perils lie beyond the claims of a fat criminal bastard!_

Loverboy spun about Sanji's head, then whipped out a rose and offered it dramatically on one knee to the rising sun. _I will always protect my ladies~! _he proclaimed, sparkling dramatically.

"Who're _your_ ladies?!" Sanji challenged the little man, enraged (even if it was just himself).

_Honestly!_

The cook groaned as the other recently developed door in his mind opened… and out walked the visage of his own mentor, Zeff, who had apparently claimed the role of reminding him of his duties as a proper sensei and a _sane_ man of passion.

Inner Zeff scowled disapprovingly at both of them. _You're both idiots, you damn brats!_ the older man told them, pulling smartly at his ridiculous mustache. _Whether he was telling the truth or not, you're not always going to be able to protect everything! Especially your protégé! How many times has she gotten nabbed right out from under your nose because you weren't looking?!_

"That wasn't just me!" Sanji defended himself. "It also happened under the shitty marimo's watch, Nami-san's and Robin-chan's watch, Usopp's watch –!"

But Inner Zeff would not have it. _No excuses! It doesn't change the fact that you're still an unreliable sensei!_

Sanji opened his mouth to utter a blistering retort… then hung his head. Unfortunately, it was probably true. "It's always like this! Always 'not good enough, not good enough!'" he muttered crossly to himself. "And it's not even Zeff that thinks it, it's me!"

The blonde marveled exasperatedly at that simple fact. "Dammit, I'm never going to live up to even my _**own**_ standards!"

He sighed, depressed at the burden of responsibility Inner Zeff never ceased to remind him about. It wasn't like the damn old geezer cared about Nami or Robin – as a chef, he only associated himself where the protégé was concerned and left him to Loverboy's mercy the rest of the time – but his voice was surprisingly powerful over Sanji, giving the younger man a sense of contrast between behaviors he'd never truly realized. It was embarrassing in hindsight, really. But bottom line… just like back at the Baratie, he was still being called a "damn brat." And Sanji hated it.

_WHO SAYS I'M UNRELIABLE?!_

Meanwhile, Loverboy had rushed Inner Zeff, snagging a handful of the geezer's apron and getting in his face. _Say it to my face, you old fart!_

He glared unimpressed into the towhead teenager's fiery eyes. _Unreliable kid._

A tick went off in Loverboy's forehead, and the next moment they were fighting like cats and dogs, kicking up a cloud of dust and swearing over Sanji's head. The cook groaned in exhaustion, shook back his sleeve, and checked his watch past a massive yawn; seeing if there was enough time to squeeze in another REM cycle before starting breakfast, but to no avail. _Figured_ that as soon as he got tired again, it would be time to get up!

Sanji sighed wearily. "I guess there's no helping it…"

He crossed the lawn – leaving his scrapping consciences behind – and opened the door to the hall. Tucking his hands in his pockets, he yawned again as he trudged along the hall, turned a few corners, rattled down the steps, and crossed through the aquarium bar to finally enter the passageway Vera-chan's room was on… but not before ducking into a bathroom to check his appearance. The route had become routine as anything else on this ship; he would wake up, get dressed, go outside to have his morning smoke, then come down here to wake up his student so she could help him prepare breakfast. The cook admitted to himself many times he had definitely streamlined her apprenticeship, compared to his experience with Zeff. But she was a lady! Of course he would never bust her ass like his grizzled mentor had.

After running his fingers over his hair and straightening his tie, Sanji deemed himself presentable and exited the bathroom, closing the door behind him. The blonde half-hopped over to his student's door, nervously polishing his shoe on the back of his pant leg.

He knocked gently. "Hey…?" Sanji whispered, in a voice soft as rose petals. "Vera-chan? You awake?"

A soft grunt greeted his ears. "Mmm. Yeah…"

Sanji raised his curly eyebrows, pleasantly surprised. "Really?" he asked. He returned to a conversational tone, turning the knob and slowly pushing open the door. "Did you sleep all right? Normally you –"

"GAH! DON'T COME _IN_!"

The man immediately squeezed his eyes shut and slammed the door, a hand over his bright red face. "Oh damn, I'm sorry!"

Sanji averted his eyes away from the door, flushing with embarrassment and restraint. "Uh… it's ham and tamagoyaki and bacon and bagels with mikan juice today," he informed the ceiling. "When you're ready, can you pick some fruit from Nami-san's trees and bring them to the kitchen, please?"

"S-Sure!" came the flustered reply. "See you then."

The blonde nodded an affirmation, even if she couldn't see it, and beat a hasty retreat back down the hall to get started on the bagel batter – the tips of his ears still a little pink.

* * *

Vera stared wide-eyed at the door for a long moment, bright pink and paralyzed, waiting for the sounds of Sanji's retreat to fade completely…

Then finally released a gusty sigh of relief. "_Phew_!" she exhaled. The semikami pressed a hand to her breast, trying to slow her still-racing heart. "That was a close one…"

That was when a certain someone's messy black bedhead popped up from under her covers.

"_Hamu_?!" Luffy exclaimed, starting to drool.

Vera gave the rubber boy a stern look down her nose, which was the only position she could give him one ever since he had figured out "his special spot" for these practically _every_ _night_ excursions of his. Under the covers, using her boobs as his pillow. "Figures _that'd_ be the first thing you hear." She sat up on her elbows, turning to place her feet on the floor. "Honestly, if I hadn't already been up Sanji would've caught you."

She started to get up. "Ya cheeky little gomu…"

"Yoop!" Suddenly, a pair of lean, strong arms wrapped about her neck from behind. Vera started – but allowed their owner to pull her back down onto the bed. Luffy tucked her head possessively under his jawline, resting his chin on the crown of her hair; her heart thrummed slightly as she felt the warmth and hardness of his body through their pajamas like they weren't even there. But – somehow – she braced herself and pushed it back down.

The brunette turned her head slightly to look up at her captain. "Nani?"

Luffy giggled. "Shishishishi!"

* * *

He grinned down into Vera's questioning brown eyes. "You can't leave!" he told her, squeezing lightly. "You're trapped~!"

Vera raised an eyebrow at him. But Luffy just smiled, enjoying the glowing feeling that he got every time she looked at him. It always originated from somewhere just below his heart, blossoming in waves of warmth from the deepest cavern of his being. The feeling had changed since Kibo Hana, growing from fuzzy butterflies in his belly to a flood of incredible heat that filled his chest, and then his entire body… like drinking a steaming pot of hot cocoa after a long day of playing in the snow. At one point, he'd thought something was wrong with him and went to see Chopper about it. Why he wanted her to look at him, why he felt so deliriously happy when she laughed or when they touched, but when the rubber man had described the symptoms, Chopper had gotten the weirdest look on his face, then smiled, told Luffy to stop pulling his leg, and pushed him out. Luffy eventually decided that meant it would get better on its own and went about his business. However, instead of going away… the feeling had gotten worse, if nothing else! So Luffy had decided to embrace it. And, honestly, he'd been feeling better and better ever since he had.

* * *

Vera snorted and patted his cheek. "Omedetōgozaimasu," she congratulated him.

Then she leaned up. "_Shikashi_…!" she whispered into his ear. A shadow came over her eyes, and her lips stretched eerily to bare her teeth in a threatening rapeface. "Nani ga toki Sanji-sensei _anata_ _o_ _kensaku_?"

_But…! What when Sanji-sensei searches for you?_

Luffy's reaction was immediate. "AH! Shimatta!" he panicked. _Forgot!_

He quickly released Vera, bounced off the end of her bed, latched onto the porthole, and squeezed out with some difficulty onto the side of the Sunny… where he would slingshot himself onto the main mast, run across in bare feet and PJs, stretch down to get through the window of the men's quarters, and scramble under his covers before Sanji opened the door to check that Luffy – the little bed-rat – was still in his bunk and not in his protégé's room.

* * *

_Squeak_.

"OOF!" Usopp was rudely awoken by a foot in the middle of his back as Luffy jumped down from the window and leapt to his bunk – wriggling under his covers just as Sanji jerked open the door.

For a long moment, the cook glared across the room at Luffy's bunk.

Then he scowled and shut the door.

Luffy listened to Sanji's footfalls fade… then exhaled in relief. In the next bunk, his squashed sniper twitched and let out a long, abused groan. "Cutting it a little close this morning, aren't you?" the long nosed-man croaked.

The rubber man grinned into his pillow. "Shishishishi~!"

* * *

Lying against her tousled covers – still smelling Luffy on her skin – Vera let out a long, sleepy groan…

Then smacked her pillow with a decisive squeak and forced herself upright. She walked over to her closet, grabbed one of her long-sleeved, riftless shirts (maybe a red-striped one, today) and started to pull it over her head, not for the first time wishing Luffy would stay in the guy's quarters where he belonged. It always left her bed feeling _way_ too comfortable.

The brunette sighed and pulled her hair out from under her neckline. Still, it wasn't like this was a new thing.

She pulled on her shorts and vest, snapped the clasps closed on her boots, then trotted into the bathroom down the hall to brush her teeth and braid her hair; thinking as she did so. Every night – for what _plausible_ reason remained a mystery to her – Luffy would come a-knocking on her window wanting to share the same bed. At first, she'd tried to gently kick him out… but she soon found out that was like trying to gently kick out an abused puppy. So some way or another, that little rat always managed to wriggle his way into her bed, snuggle up, and fall asleep even before she could.

His actions were synonymous to a boy with a _crush_! Ridiculous. This was Monkey D Asexual Luffy we were talking about.

Vera smiled drowsily to herself as she left the bathroom, trotting down the hallways on her way to the kitchen, finally ready for the day ahead. But still… nothing kept away nightmares like snuggling with a Luffy.

She opened the door to the galley. Sanji had his back to her, but the sound of someone entering made him turn to look. Vera felt a little tingle wake her up at the sight of his gorgeous blue eyes and soft blonde hair. Again, she pushed down her hormones and saluted with a sleepy smile. "Rosethorne Vera reporting for duty, sensei-san," she announced.

Sanji blinked.

"…Mikan wa?" he asked.

Vera blinked.

And facepalmed. "Augh! Shimatta!" she groaned. The brunette whirled and stalked back out. "I swear, I have the memory of a goldfish!"

Sanji stared after her for a moment… then laughed once to himself and went back to the bagel batter.

**.oOo.**

Outside, the sun inched its way up the horizon, the scarlet sky giving way to cool pinks and blues, and finally brightening to a gentle periwinkle blue scattered with iron grey clouds. A swift, curving wind began to blow in– again propelling the Thousand Sunny with the All-Catch Current, bound in a curving northeast path across the ocean – but with the sails full and a beaming golden sun, the foreboding scent of the air faded with the cooking fragrance of sizzling ham and tamagoyaki. Sanji and Vera worked away in the galley, listening to the Sunny come to life around them as the delicious smells began to rouse their nakama.

Vera smiled privately to herself. The moments spent with Sanji were always her favorite parts of the day. Something about the charismatic but industrial air of the galley, the scent of cooking food, helping to create the master's culinary masterpiece… it just put her at peace.

"Vera-chan, tamago o watasu ka?"

Vera passed him her carton of eggs. "Koko ni." _Here_.

Sanji accepted the ingredient, cracking and swiftly beating the whites into a froth before she could take a breath, adding a dash of sugar, mirin, and soy sauce as he did, then pouring it onto the grill beside the ham; where eventually he would fold it up to become a new tamagoyaki. Her sparking brown eyes flickered to her sensei's swift, graceful hands and back.

Of course Fangirl would have to make an unnecessarily dirty comment. _Wonder what else those hands could do~!_

_Oh, urusai, will ya?!_

The feminine voice of the fandom oozed from the half of Vera's brain that lately seemed hellbent on making her lose her mental virginity, taking form on her right shoulder with a dirty smirk on her face. _Come on, you can't tell me to shut up! Check him out! You know you want to!_

Vera scowled, feeling a slight pinking in her cheeks.

And let her eyes stray to Sanji, slowly trailing up and down his long, lithe form. He'd taken off his suit jacket and rolled back the sleeves of his dark red dress shirt for cooking. The color was unusual for him – she was used to seeing him in blues and yellows – but it looked good on him. Like, _really_ good. The dress shirt broadened his already substantial shoulders, and with the tie loosened and its top few buttons undone like Sanji always did around the heat of the oven, Vera was presented with an incredible view of the long, smooth white column of his neck and a teasing peek at his collarbones and the top of his pectorals. She blinked… dazed for a moment at that… then shook herself mentally. The semikami's eyes strayed unbidden down his torso, past the equator and below; over the last few weeks, it had stunned Vera how overlooked Sanji was by eye-candy fangirls. Even if he hardly ever took his shirt off (unlike a certain marimo), her sensei really had an amazing body. He really was muscular. And his legs went on for, like, miles…!

Her eyes flicked around to the seat of his wondrously fitted black pants. _And don't even get me started on that –!_

* * *

Sanji let out a long breath through his nostrils. He reached up, massaging and rolling his neck, groaning quietly; looking down at the griddle always left an annoying crick in his spine. Suddenly, a quiet intake of breath caught his attention.

He glanced over. "Hm?"

Vera stiffened when his eyes landed on hers. Sanji blinked in surprise. "What?" he asked, still rubbing his neck. "Something wrong?"

His student closed her mouth (had she had it open in the first place?) and hastily resumed chopping ham – blushing like he'd caught her at something embarrassing. "Ah… um, no, nothing!"

Sanji rubbed his neck. _Hm, _he thought,brow furrowed pensively at her uncharacteristic actions_. That's weird._

Suddenly, as if on cue, Loverboy appeared in a puff of smoke beside Sanji's ear, spinning about the stunned cook's head like a ballistic top. _HOLY DAMN! Was she just checking you out?! She was __**totally**__ checking you out!_

The blonde blushed bright pink. His eyes widened. _Eh? _

* * *

_GAH! YOU JUST RUINED THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY!_

Fangirl smacked at Vera's head, screaming at her flushed, embarrassed host. _He just asked "Do shita no…?" in that hot dang SEXY voice and you just had to duck your head and go "B-Betsu ni!" like a proper Mary Sue?! You're so freakin' HOPELESS!_

Vera grit her teeth, beating down the heat that was attempting to make her cheeks redder than last night's steamed lobster. _Shut up! _she demanded. _It's not like I would say anything else, you dumb-A!_

_Oh, yes you could._

Fangirl wrapped an arm around her shoulders, grinning like a mobster. _You. _

She pointed. _Go over there, get between him and the grill, and tell him to let those eggs burn. Then finally find out what that sexy tushie __**feels**__ like~!_

Vera choked at the image.

* * *

Sanji stared at the side of Vera's face; she was a little rosy, too. _No way. She wasn't checking me out…!_

He blinked. _Was she?_

_She was! _Loverboy insisted. The voice of the playboy side of his brain wrapped his arms around the back of Sanji's head, the heart in his left eye thumping at a mile a minute. _Come on, aren'tcha gonna do anything about that?! She's three feet away from you! She was just checking out your __**ass**__! You got her in the palm of your hand! You should just walk over there, sweep her off her feet, and KISS HER!_

Sanji swallowed, _K-Kiss her…?!_

He hesitated, allowing his brain to entertain the thought for a moment.

"_**Oi."**_

_**Vera straightened at the feel of a warm, hard chest against her back, and slowly turned to face him. Her cheeks the same striking shade of pink as the first roses of spring. Her dark, beautiful eyes avoided his. "Y-Yes?" she whispered, like her voice couldn't bring itself to full volume or she would explode.**_

_**Sanji let out a bracing breath.**_

_**Then, he reached up, trailing his fingertips along her jawline, gentle as a butterfly's wings. She hesitated, then looked up. Their eyes met. As soon as he saw the want there, Sanji twisted a leg around both of hers and gently bent her already weakening knees. With a squeak of surprise, Vera began to fall… but the blonde caught her neatly and spun, settling her hips neatly over his own. Her legs on either side of his waist.**_

_**He thrust teasingly. She let out a luscious moan, hands fisting in his hair.**_

"_**You want this?" Sanji smirked.**_

"_**Nn!" Vera panted.**_

_**His hands cupped her jaw, leaned in, and…!**_

_STOP THAAAAAAAAAAAAT!_

Sanji, Vera, Loverboy, and Fangirl were all startled out of their nosebleeds by Inner Zeff and Inner Vange bursting through the dirty mental fantasies to smack the tar out of their respective counterparts.

_YOU DAMN BRATS! _Inner Zeff roared, knocking Loverboy over the head with his wooden pegleg. _YOU for tempting the kid! _

Then he smacked Sanji. _And YOU FOR ENTERTAINING THE THOUGHT! I don't care about what you think with the other women on this ship, but when you took that girl under your wing – allowing her into the kitchen, the most sacred place of your being – she became as much part of you as your arm or your leg! Treat her as such, dumbass!_

* * *

Inner Vange knuckled the sides of Fangirl's head until she saw smoke. _You never, never, never, never __**think**_! she shrieked at her squealing counterpart. _Groping a helpless, hormone obsessed guy who doesn't know any better?! Did it even __**occur**__ to you what kind of consequences could result from that?! And even if nothing happened here, you spend at least an accumulated __**eight**__**hours**__ with this man __**every**__**day**__! I couldn't even guess the tension that would escalate if she did something so stupid and impulsive on whim! _

* * *

Sanji choked. _Shit, that's right!_

He shook his fist at Loverboy. _How dare you try and lead me astray! Sensei duties come first, asshole!_

* * *

Vera furiously (and happily) assisted in helping Inner Vange beat up Fangirl. _You annoying piece of crap! I'm a good girl, baka ga, quit trying to turn me into a temptress because you know it would work!_

* * *

Robin knocked gently, easing open the door. "Excuse me…"

Then, she stopped – stunned by the bizarre scene before her; the cook and his assistant muttering wildly to themselves, stomping their feet, and shaking knives or fists about their heads, as if tiny imps buzzed there whispering unwanted blasphemies into their ears. She stared for a long moment…

Then the archeologist chuckled.

"Pardon my intrusion!" she said, louder this time.

Sanji and Vera blinked and turned, finally spotting the voluptuous, dark-haired woman in the galley doorway. "May I borrow Rosethorne-san for a moment?" Robin asked. "It's not urgent."

"OF COURSE, MY ROBIN-CHWAAAN~!" Sanji loverboyed.

Then he heard Vera's snort and caught himself. "Ah, I-I mean…"

Sanji rubbed his head sheepishly and turned back to the cutting board. "Uh, sure, Robin-chan. We're almost done anyway," he amended, scraping the leftover mikan peels into a tupperware container for later use. He popped a lid onto the container and handed it to Vera. "Put that in the fridge on your way out, then go see what our LOVELY ARCHEOLOGIST NEEDS~!"

_Shit_! "I mean, what Robin-chan needs. But make it quick, breakfast is in five and I want you back here in time to serve it."

The cook rolled up his sleeves and moved back to the griddle, hastily moving to try and save his burning tamagoyaki. "I'll finish up here."

Vera blinked, turning the container over in her hands. "You sure, Sanji-sensei?"

He avoided her eyes. "Yeah! Go ahead."

The brunette hesitated, but finally shrugged and did what he said – placing the mikan peels in the fridge and following the Strawhat archeologist out into the hallway. Sanji waited until the galley doors stopped swinging…

Then hurled his spatula at the wall like a throwing knife (where it stuck), snorted like an angry bull, and collapsed into a messy heap on the kitchen floor, thumping his fist against the floorboards and growling in the helpless frustration of a man at the mercy of his own mind.

**…**

Out in the hall, Vera cocked a hip curiously at Robin. "What's up?" she asked, oblivious to the mess she'd just left behind.

The dark-haired woman spared a moment to smile at the quiet thumping sound coming from behind the galley doors, slightly less oblivious to their poor Cook-san's dilemma. She considered saying something about it to Rosethorne-san. But as always, after a few seconds she just chuckled, shook her head with amusement, and redirected her attention onto their waiting semikami.

Robin reached into her cleavage.

Vera raised her eyebrows as the older woman extracted a square of paper; the letter they'd discovered the day before. She pointed: "Is that, tuh…?"

"Yes." Robin nodded, unfolding it. "You read it to us yesterday."

She looked at the lines of mysterious English runes for what felt like the umpteenth time. "And I sorely wish to know what it says…" the archeologist sighed.

She glanced up at Vera. The brunette stared back blankly.

Robin eased out a breath through her nostrils, folding the letter back up with a patient smile. "I also wish one of us had the vocabulary to sufficiently translate it, but luckily for us, I know someone who does. However, I don't want to send the original to him; it might very well get lost in the mail and then we'd be in trouble."

She offered the paper to the semikami. "So, will you be a dear and make a copy for me?" she asked. "I would do it myself, but I might make a mistake in lettering."

* * *

"Kopi?"

Vera accepted the letter and opened it for herself, eyes flickering over the contents. Her mouth twisted disapprovingly over the f-bombs in it. _Copy this? Geez. _

"Subete no _wādo_?" she whined. _Every __**word**__?_

* * *

Robin nodded, smiling. "Yes, preferably," the older woman replied. "We don't want to miss anything subtle in translation."

Vera aimed a scowl at the wall. "Yeah. 'Subtle.'"

The archeologist waited patiently for a verdict… and was finally rewarded by a gusty sigh.

Vera folded the document back up, her expression that of annoyed acquiesce, and tucked it in a pocket of her vest. "Fine, I'll _do_ it," she groaned, exaggerating her reluctance to a comedic level.

Robin laughed courteously and scratched the top of her head. "Thank you."

Vera giggled and waggled her tushie like a puppy wagging its tail. "Hai, kaasan!"

"OI! BREAKFAST TIME!"

Sanji's voice came bellowing out from behind the galley door. The two women stiffened, hearing it verberate across the ship.

A foreboding rumble shook the floorboards.

Vera choked. "Uh oh."

"FOOOOOOOD~!"

Robin and Vera leapt to either side of the hallway, just in time to avoid the avalanche of hungry pirates as they tore down the corridor into the dining room – but mostly Luffy, yelling about ham and Nami yelling at _him_ to leave some breakfast for the rest of the crew. "Vera-chan, _now_ would be nice!" Sanji yelled.

Vera checked to see if any more trample hazards were on their way, then pushed off the wall. She glanced at Robin.

Then she shrugged and bowed her in with a smirk. "Hungry?"

The archeologist laughed in earnest at that. "Cheeky," Robin chuckled, and went into the galley.

**.oOo.**

Breakfast passed in the usual whirlwind of flying food and yelling crewmates. Like every morning, Luffy had claimed his spot next to Vera, so the otherworlder spent most of the meal frantically trying to dodge his rubbery arms… and the tamagoyaki and silverware their nakama hurled at the captain in retribution for their lost entrées. Some mornings she was more successful at it than others; today, she got blindsided by a piece of ham (which Luffy promptly ate off her face, Sanji didn't like that), half an omelet, and would probably have a bruise on her shoulder from a spoon that Chopper _had_ to have thrown with the force of a ballistic missile. After that, she'd launched herself over the table and went all Jackie Chan on the tanuki – which ended up leading the rest of the Mugiwaras on a frantic chase across the Sunny trying to catch and calm a rogue reindeer. They'd finally caught Chopper, rescued their semikami, then went back to finish their now-cold ham. Vera had decided to lie down instead. But at least it was good Chopper's transformation hadn't taken her by complete surprise; through a set of equally bizarre circumstances, the Strawhats had managed to convey she had some weird power that could – what, neutralize? – the One Piece-brand crackish ones. Sometimes it came in handy, when battling a ridiculously durable enemy. But it wasn't voluntary, so other times…

Well, either way, breakfast had ended. Everyone quickly sank back into their daily routines or non-routines; Luffy and the boys scampered around the poop deck, getting into trouble, Franky had gone to make some adjustments to Mod's algorithm, Chopper had disappeared into his office, Zoro went to work out, Sanji was in the kitchen, and the women sunned themselves on the lawn deck. The sun continued to climb in the sky. Soon, it was almost noon.

Lounging in swimsuits with the other girls, Vera heaved a full-breasted sigh, set down her pen, and picked up her (extremely procrastinated) finished copy of the Skylar guy's letter.

She blew on it to dry the ink and handed it to Robin. "Here you go."

The archeologist glanced up from her own project. "Ah. Thank you."

She accepted Vera's offering and laid it carefully beside her, then went back to sketching out the careful lines of text of her own letter.

Nami peered sneakily over at it. "_Another_ letter to Hideki-san?" she smirked.

Robin aimed an amused look at the younger woman. "Is that suspicion I hear?"

The Strawhat navigator adopted an overly-innocent look. "What? Suspicion? You must be imagining things! I have no reason to be suspicious. You've only been trading correspondence for almost two months _straight_!"

"You make it sound like such a scandal, Navigator-san," Robin laughed, resuming her writing.

"Well, you can't blame me!" Nami scooted over, boobs bouncing as she tried to get a better look at the letter's contents. "Whatcha writing him about? Send him a sexy picture this time! I'll take it! I'll even give you a discount."

The archeologist smacked her lightly between the eyes with her pen. "It's not like that," she told her, amused. "Naughty girl."

Nami sat back, lips pursed in a pout as Robin traced the last line of characters and started to reread the paragraph. "Juneko Skylar, the man who wrote that letter… was an otherworlder," the older woman continued. "And Hideki-san knew him."

Robin paused, thinking back on that conversation on Kibo Hana Island, in their famous amphitheater.

"_**An old… acquaintance of mine wrote a journal a while back," Kaiser Hideki told her hesitantly, settling in a seat across from her. Even in the dim half-light of the amphitheater, it was clear he was a man of capable strength and power; a gilded sword hanging on his hip, he was handsome in a clean-cut, mercenary sort of way, like a great bird of prey among a flock of starlings. Bluntly, Robin found him very attractive… and in about half an hour she would witness his **_**capability**_** on a whole other level. "Tells his story. He was a big part of our island's history. So our best playwrights turned his words on Kibo Hana into a little artistic interpretation for the masses. Now, besides the opening of the Wishing Flowers and Lady Shizuka's dance, it's the most popular event at the festival."**_

_**After the play, Robin had spoken up. "What happened to Skylar-sama?" she asked. "It wasn't very specific."**_

_**Hideki avoided her eyes, his large, scarred fingers plucking at the tongs of his fork. "Not sure, really," the captain of the Gale Dancer's Guard replied. "He did come back to Kibo Hana. Said he'd found a way to get back to his world, yeah. But he was half-crazy when he said it. So… yeah. Don't know."**_

Robin decided her letter was appropriate for her request and folded it into thirds.

"Juneko Skylar's message is dated a little less than a year ago," she went on. The woman picked up Vera's copy of the otherworlder's last words; Nami watched as she slipped it into the envelope along with her letter and sealed it up. "That would place him just after leaving Kibo Hana, give or take a few weeks. He was intending to return to his world. I suspect this letter might have an important piece of information regarding the matter. If we knew, we might be able to help Vera-san somehow."

"Wait. Then –?"

"Yes. I cannot read it, but Hideki-san is somehow bilingual in both our language and in English. He can translate it. That's what I'm asking him."

"Oh."

Nami's brow furrowed. "Hey, speaking of Kibo Hana…"

The fiery redhead glanced up. "Did you see them?"

Robin's sober blue eyes followed the navigator's gaze upward. "Yes, I did."

Both women stared up, watching the sparkling point far above their heads. From this distance, it appeared to be just a scintillating light, quietly tinkling in the wind from its place on the banister of the crow's nest… but closer, it was revealed to be a wind chime, constructed by Usopp in the recent weeks before all the crap with the Barker Syndicate went down. It was a pretty thing, with a frame of tin and steel burnished so bright it could have been silver, and etched with patterns of vines, flowers, and seashells. Nine slender wires of varying lengths extended down from the frame – wound around pieces of colorful sea glass that chimed against each other in the wind – but they weren't the main centerpiece. The tip of each wire was wrapped soundly around one of the Strawhat's sealed _Dicota_ _Volunta_; stone-hard, blue-white flower buds, each roughly the size of a man's fist coated in a clear, glassy sheen of diamond varnish. At least, normally.

But now, their blossom's icy hues had given way to a warm… _pinkish_ color. They weren't clinking freely against each other any more, either. Like holding a string of paper clips next to a powerful magnet, they had risen up, as if some invisible force were pulling them towards the northeast horizon. As if they were caught in the All-Catch Current as well.

Nami recrossed her legs. "Weird, isn't it? I just noticed them this morning."

Robin nodded. "Very strange…" she whispered. "For them to all react the same way. You don't suppose we all wished for the same thing…?"

A moment passed, tension heavy in the air as they both gazed up at the unnatural behavior of their Wishing Flowers.

Then, the navigator aimed a dirty smirk at the envelope in Robin's hands. "I still think you should send him a sexy picture!"

"Oh, hush."

* * *

"Mmmmm! Shpeaking of sexy…"

Feeling Robin and Nami's curious eyes on her, Vera stretched luxuriously and got up, rolling her shoulders. "I'm gonna go find me some. You women speak Japanese waaay too much."

She walked off. "Zoro-kuuuun!" she called. "Doko daaaa~?"

* * *

Nami blinked. "What'd she say?"

Robin opened a magazine. "I believe it was 'Zoro-kun.'"

The navigator made a face at their archeologist and went back to getting a tan, the bright sun setting the inside of her eyelids aglow in warm, buttery scarlet.

**…**

Zoro, meanwhile, had taken shelter in the cool, shade-drawn solace of the crow's nest – doing his usual after-breakfast warmup of a thousand reps. In his focus, the swordsman didn't care about much else, other than keeping his chiseled arms steady as he slowly raised and lowered a humungous iron weight. Despite the darkness and cooler temperature, chilly sweat streamed down his shoulders and neck. His jaw was set, and the tendons in his neck stood out; one didn't have to be a genius to tell he was in a discomforting amount of pain.

_Nine hundred ninety-eight, nine hundred ninety –!_

Zoro winced, gritting his teeth as a shot of fiery agony sparked down his arm. "Ngh!"

His hand involuntarily spasmed and he nearly dropped the weight; the marimo forced his burning, tingling fingers to tighten their grip, sucked in a breath, and painfully finished his last two reps. _Nine…! One… thousand!_

The swordsman set down the gigantic dumbbell with a metallic _thud_. He retreated from it, breathing heavily. Finally, his sweaty back hit a wall.

Zoro groaned and slid down it, sitting cross-legged across from the enormous iron weight.

"Why…?"

He glared down at his hand, which still tingled and burned.

"Why is this getting _harder_?!" Zoro growled.

Jaw set in frustration, he forced his disobedient fingers into a fist and tapped his forehead with it. These last few months, he had been experiencing a strange torment. It had started as just a mild tingling in his fingertips, switching on and off, no more noticeable than the uncomfortable sparks after a limb falls asleep. It hadn't hindered him much, so Zoro thought it would disappear over time like any other injury… But it had gotten worse. Far worse. Now, his fingers and toes were constantly consumed by a fiery, pins-and-needles sensation that – at the slightest provocation – would lance his brain with lightning bolts of staggering pain. Sometimes they weren't that bad, but other times…

Zoro groaned, knuckled his forehead. Other times… it could come so hard and fast he would drop his swords.

"You're still too _weak_…!" the Santoryuu swordsman snarled. He was so stressed he didn't even notice the trapdoor open. "Yeah, you can chock it up to luck one of these attacks haven't occurred in a real fight since that flower festival! But if that Smoker bastard had been less of a man… you would have been _dead_. Full stop. No restarts."

There was a pause, then the trapdoor closed and a pair of bare feet padded slowly across the floor. "And next time, it might not be just your life on the line," Zoro muttered, gazing intensely at the floor. "So whatever this is, I won't let it beat me!"

"Hey."

Vera hung her head upside down to peer at Zoro. "You okay?"

The swordsman scratched his head, scowling. "Of course I am. Don't get worried."

"Never said was worried."

"Really? Huh."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"… GAH!" Zoro nearly jumped out of his pants when he finally realized who was talking to him. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?! How many times have I told you not to _come_ in here?!"

* * *

Vera smirked. "Awww, did da mawimo get lost in his thoughts? Oh… HA HA!" She burst out laughing, realizing the hilarity of her own statement. "'Lost in your thoughts!' That's great! HA!"

* * *

"Get out!"

* * *

"_Persuade_ me," Vera purred suggestively.

Zoro's glare met her eyes viciously, but it had little effect on the semikami. For some reason, she felt no respect for the badass swordsman today. In fact… she actually felt a little pissed at him for acting so alienated by her lately.

She jerked her chin up, challenging him.

* * *

Zoro ground his teeth – dismissing her legitimately spiteful aura as just another lecherous chijo move. _She needs persuasion?!_

He got up. _I'll give her __**persuasion**__!_

**…**

Robin handed her letter and its shipping fee to the passing News Coo. "So," she commented to Nami, watching the uniformed bird fly off. "When are you going to tell us all about the information you dug up on our mysterious center island, Navigator-san?"

The redhead shrugged. "I was planning on telling everyone after lunch. Seems like a good time…"

"Nami-swaaan~! Robin-chwaaan~!"

The two women turned to look as Sanji spun over, balancing a tray of three crystal flutes. The blonde bowed, and delicately placed a beautiful tropical drink before each woman. "Enjoy, my angels," he purred. "I made them with love!"

The navigator sipped from hers, barely looking up. "Oh, thanks, Sanji-kun."

Robin accepted her drink and smiled at him. "Thank you, Cook-san."

"Hai~!" Sanji loverboyed.

Suddenly shifting gears, the cook took the third glass off his tray – unlike the other two, it was empty – swishing around its imaginary contents as he looked around. "Have either of you lovely ladies seen Vera-chan, by any chance?" he asked. "It's almost time to start lunch, but I thought I'd show her how to make this before then."

"Yeah, she –"

"_OUT_!"

"Hah?" Sanji, Nami, and Robin looked around to see Zoro kick open a door with their semikami in tow. He stalked across the lawn deck, hauling Vera along by the scruff of the neck like a bad puppy. "Oi, cook!"

The marimo head dumped her on Sanji. "This is yours?!"

The blonde immediately wrapped his arms around Vera. "Green bastard!" he barked at the swordsman. "How dare you manhandle my Vera-chan?!"

"Just keep her out of my space!" Zoro barked back, pointing an irate finger at the glaring semikami. "I get enough of her with bodyguard duties! This is my quiet time!"

Vera made an angry noise through her teeth.

"DID YOU JUST _HISS_ AT ME?!" the Santoryuu user yelled disbelievingly. "_Kono_ –!"

Sanji petted her head. "Come on, Vera-chan," he crooned. "I wanted to teach you something anyway."

He aimed a sneer at Zoro. "Leave the marimo to his bitching."

Zoro snarled. "Just keep an eye on your _bitch_, bitch."

He stalked away back to the shady privacy of the crow's nest, growling hotly under his breath. Sanji made a face at the swordsman's back and drew his protégé protectively to his chest. Nami and Robin sighed and went back to their magazines; this was pretty much standard routine, as well, although only Usopp had really ever bothered to ask how Vera managed to drive their cool-headed kenshi into such a tizzy. When asked, he said they didn't want to know. And Zoro got pissed and inexplicably defensive with anyone who asked him, so they'd finally just decided to take the sniper's word for it. But still… such exchanges were always ended by a snarky-sounding English comment or an indignant raspberry blown at the offending marimo's back. It broke the tension. Marked the finish line. Gave permission to drop it and move on.

So, when Vera was silent and still in his arms, Sanji was surprised. He glanced down.

Her eyes were narrowed on Zoro's retreating form, her normally smiling mouth in an emotionless line. Every inch of her glittered with malice.

Loverboy blinked. _Hey… she's wearing a bikini!_

Inner Zeff whacked Loverboy upside the head. _CAN'T YOU THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE?!_

Sanji sighed wearily – the tension left in the air still weighing on him, he gently guided Vera towards the kitchen. "Come on, time to start lunch."

Luffy peered out behind the mast, watching them closely…

Then he crawled after them.

**.oOo.**

_**Shwack!**_

Vera viciously whacked the head off a giant fish. "Kidnap the Sandy Claws, lock him up _real_ _tight_!" she hummed in English, and angrily tossed it in the scrap bin. "Throw away the key and then, turn off all the _lights_~!"

Sanji held onto the head of lettuce like it was his own head.

"What are you singing?" he asked, slightly scared.

The semikami glanced at him blankly; he was sure she didn't mean to glare. Still, it wasn't the question he wanted to ask… but the cook knew when Vera was in moods like this, she had to be soothed before she would answer any deeper questions. _She's been getting like this more and more often lately, though,_ Sanji thought silently, waiting for her reply. _I wonder why?_

She stared at him for so long he finally realized she hadn't understood him. "Oh! Um, singing?"

Sanji hummed exaggeratedly as an example. "You know?"

"Oh."

* * *

Vera groaned frustratedly. "It's a song from 'The Nightmare Before Christmas,'" she replied. "It's been stuck in my head since breakfast!"

Sanji stared at her blankly.

"Oh, uh… stuck in my head?" The girl twirled her index finger around her temple, miming a record. "Replay?"

"Ah."

Vera smiled. "You don't get it at all, do ya?"

Sanji shook his head. "Chigau…" he admitted, grinning sheepishly.

"And come on, admit it." She hooked her thumbs under the straps of the frilly apron she wore. "You just got me in here so you could see me in an apron and bikini, you rascal."

Sanji turned bright red.

Vera blinked, startled by his painfully obvious embarrassment – then whacked him on the shoulder and started laughing. "Ha ha ha!" she giggled. "You're so hopeless, sensei! Ha ha!"

* * *

Luffy scowled at Vera's laughter. She looked _way_ too happy.

"Stupid Sanji!" he muttered under his breath. "Quit making her laugh!"

Usopp strode into the galley with an armful of stink bombs and fireworks. "Okay, Luffy, I got the stuff you wanted me to. Where do you want it –?"

Then he stopped dead in his tracks. "What are you doing?" he asked flatly.

Luffy was crouched down in the middle of the dining room, peering through a crack in the kitchen door with a sour expression on his face, like he'd drank an entire carton of lemon juice (he would know, it wouldn't have been the first time). "Spying!" the rubber man replied. Not taking his eye away from the door, he held out his hand towards Usopp. "Alright, gimme one of those fart bombs."

The sharpshooter smacked him over the head. "YOU DUMBASS! Quit dragging me into these schemes! We've been over this before; she's his student, of _course_ they're gonna be close!"

Luffy pouted. "I still don't like it…"

"You don't _have_ to!" Usopp facepalmed. The captain really was hopeless when he got like this. "Geez!"

Finally, he sighed, relenting. "Look, if it makes you feel better, I can switch shooting practice to tomorrow so we can play hide-and-seek after lunch, all right?" he bargained. _Brook said he needed some practice with that tracking ability he has, anyway. And since nobody can sense Vera with Observation Haki, that's an invaluable asset for us. _

Peril momentarily forgotten, Usopp allowed himself to be impressed by his genius solution. _Kill two birds with one stone, right? _he thought, chuckling pompously. _As expected from the great Captain Usopp!_

Beside him, Luffy's face lit up. "Really?!" he exclaimed. "Thanks! That's really cool of you, Usopp!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the sniper muttered, disappointed at being pulled from his self-congratulations. He dragged at Luffy's arm. "Come on, let's get out of here before Sanji sees us!"

"Okay!"

_Phew!_ Usopp thought, wiping his forehead with relief as he pulled his compliant captain back towards the lawn deck. _Good thing, too. If Sanji caught us at that he'd kick us so hard we'd start sneezing through our belly buttons. But I can't celebrate just yet –!_

"Oh!" came Sanji's sudden exclamation through the door. "The song's stuck in your head! I see…"

**…**

The blonde wiped his hands on a rag and tossed it in the sink. "Well, we'll just have to fix that, eh?" he smiled.

He raised his voice. "OI! Franky, plug Mod in, will ya?!"

"_Super leave it to me~_!" came the shipwright's voice from far away. "_Start from the usual track?"_

"If you'll please!"

**…**

Luffy blinked. "Hm?"

Usopp's jaw dropped. _AHHHH! CRAP!_

"C-Come on, Luffy, let's get out of here!" he whispered, frantically trying to get the other boy out the door. But the rubber man was already making his way back across the galley, his arm stretching out in Usopp's grip. "GAH! Will you quit it?! Get back here!"

Luffy looked through the crack again. "No. I'm spying."

**…**

Back in the kitchen, Sanji pulled off his shoes as a swift jazz tune started up – echoing in superb sound from speakers Franky had installed around the ship a short time after Kibo Hana, as a solution for iPod Mod not being able to be everywhere at once. Now the huge metal giant mostly made its berth in the shipwright's workshop, broadcasting the music from Vera's iPod for all the Strawhats to enjoy, no matter where they were! It also made for a killer background track when they fought Marines on the seas… not to mention it creeped the _mess_ out of most Navy soldiers when a song like "Bangarang," or even "American Idiot" came on. But it also served other purposes – like Vera's occasional dancing lesson.

"Okay, remember!" Sanji reminded her. He tapped his toes indicatively against the floor. "Start with the right foot."

Vera tapped her right foot. "Yup."

"Good." He straightened and took her hands. "Ready?"

"No!"

She gripped his fingers harder, a determined light in her eyes. "Let's go!"

Sanji grinned. "That's the spirit!"

He looked down at their feet; he'd have to be careful not to step on her. Even without shoes, his feet could hurt her. "Okay…"

* * *

"Ichi to ni to san to shi. Go, roku, nana, hachi!"

_One and two and three and four, _Vera kept count along in her head as they slid through the first few steps with the ease of practice. It helped that her sensei was far from a one-trick pony; he was good at leading. _Five, six, seven, eight!_

"Yoku yatta!" Sanji congratulated her. _Good job!_

"Arigatou…" Vera replied tersely, trying to focus. But suddenly, the blonde stepped back around, bringing the brunette after him into a quick spin.

"Tsugi e!" _Next!_

The girl stiffened._ Aw crud, I hate this part!_

* * *

**…**

Usopp raised his eyebrows as Vera winced, but managed to glide smoothly into Sanji's arm. She cringed for a second – then opened her eyes. The taller blonde gave her an _I-told-you-so_ look. Vera pursed her mouth, shoving him playfully; Sanji laughed and took her hand again, leading her into the next form. A couple months ago, if someone had told Usopp that their woman-crazy ero-cook would actually manage to act _cool_ around a girl so pretty and scantily clad as Vera, he would have called for Chopper to give them a mental check up. But something had changed in Sanji's mindset, at least around Vera. He didn't entirely understand it himself. Still, he was glad.

"Oooh…!" the sniper breathed, impressed. "They're not half bad!"

Usopp looked at Luffy. "What do you think… huh?"

He blinked. Luffy was gone.

The sniper's jaw dropped, horrified. _Kaaaaaaah!_

He whirled, checking under the table and chairs, searching every corner of the galley for his vagrant captain. _Luffy, where the heck did you GO?!_

Then, something horrible occurred to him.

_Oh no._ Usopp scrambled back over to the kitchen door. _Don't tell me he –?!_

He peered inside, and sure enough, there was Luffy. Wearing that stubborn expression of his, sitting criss-cross-applesauce on the counter and munching on fish like he owned the place. The only reason Sanji and Vera hadn't seen him yet was because their backs were to the counter.

"GET… OUT…!" Usopp mouthed frantically through the window.

Luffy shook his head and popped another piece of fish into his mouth.

The sniper grit his teeth – then choked and ducked down out of sight as Sanji turned towards the door. _That's it! _he realized. The trajectory they were spinning would put Luffy right in their line of vision!_ He's screwed!_

**…**

Ding!

Sanji stopped. "Oh! Cake's done."

* * *

Vera leaned back against the counter, grateful for a chance to catch her breath as the blonde went to take the flambé cake out of the oven. Heat rose unbidden to her cheeks as he bent over; paired with Sanji's hotness and the fact he could dance _and_ cook – and was teaching her to do _both_ – made her feel a little… well, naïve, she supposed. It turned her on, yeah. But it also reminded her Sanji was _waaaay_ out of her league.

_Not to mention he's still too old for you!_ Inner Vange piped up. Her proper conscience crossed her arms, feeling satisfied with herself that she had finally had a turn at speaking first.

But, of course, Fangirl got defensive. _It wouldn't make much difference if she was 21 and he was 25!_

_Uh, yes it would! She's real! He's not!_

Vera sighed, a bit depressed. That was always her nee-chan's ace in the hole, she remembered as Sanji brought the cake back over to the counter. It had been so long she sometimes forgot all this was a dream…

"Sore wa soko ni mada aru?" the blonde asked.

Vera glanced up. "Eh? 'Sore wa?'" _It?_

Sanji set the cake on the counter, raising a finger to touch his head. "Songu. In headu?"

Vera blinked.

Then she groaned wildly, facepalming. "AUGH! It wasn't until you _mentioned_ it!"

Sanji winced. "Ah…!" He moaned, smacking himself in the forehead. "_Baka_! Gomen'nasai, Vera-chan!" he apologized.

Vera sighed and patted his shoulder. "Meh, sore wa daijobu," the brunette reassured her depressed sensei. A bright smile overtook her face. "At least you tried, ne? I'll just be happy when Halloween is here, so my insanity will suit the season."

Sanji gave her a sidelong look. "Harou…een?"

The otherworlder stared at him. "Uso!" she exclaimed, disbelieving. "Anata wa Halloween no koto o kiita koto ga nai?!" _Liar! You've never heard of Halloween?!_

Sanji shook his head. "Chigau. Nanisore?" he asked.

Vera's face brightened. "It's only the third greatest holiday _ever_!" she enthused, prancing over to the calendar. She tapped the square on the 31st, which she had long ago marked with a little smiling pumpkin; she'd gotten a few weird looks when she did it, but now she knew why. "Behind Christmas and one's birthday! Everyone dresses up like _bakemono_ and goes from house to house to get treats! Somebody's house is always teepeed, sure, but it's usually stick-up-the-butt teachers or principals or popular people… if you're the latter, I'd think it might be worth it! But either way, it's free candy and there are haunted houses – oh, uh, _obakeyashi_ – spiderwebs, decorations, and you get to dress up in costumes as scary or fun as you want~! It's sai, sai, _saaaaaai_ sugoi!"

Luffy sparkled with amazement. "Oooooh! Candy?!"

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Spidawebus?"

Vera nodded. "Nn! And the best part? The thing most people don't know is that, spiderwebs? They're better than gasoline with lighting quick fires! I tried it one time…"

She mimed a massive explosion. "_Boom_!"

Then she reconsidered. "Well, not quite _boom._ But there was this massive flash and I accidentally lit Eva's _hair_ on fire! She was, like, only two at the time so you better _believe_ Vange chewed my ear off about _that_. Then it melts, like cotton candy or something."

* * *

_Her ear or the spiderweb? _Sanji wondered.

Inner Zeff and Loverboy shrugged at each other. They had no idea what to make of it, either.

But after a moment, the cook sighed. He looked at Vera and smiled: "Well, why don't we do a Halloween theme tomorrow night?"

Her eyes lit up. "Seriously?!"

Sanji nodded. "Yeah!" He beckoned her over. "But right now, why don't you decorate the flambé cake with your 'spiderwebs' and we'll light it up, huh? I'll be done with the sashimi by then, and we want everything ready at the same time."

"Okay!"

She bounded back over to her place at the counter, fishing in the cupboards for black and white icing; Sanji reached into a drawer for the lighter, placing it beside the sink before fetching his kitchen knives. He checked the edge of a thin, razor-sharp number and gave it an experimental flip, caught it delicately by the tip and tossed the handle back into his palm.

Perfect. The cook turned to the giant salmon he'd had Vera decapitate, ready to fillet it into a platter of first-class sashimi…

And saw nothing but a skeleton.

Sanji choked. _WHAT_?! _Who did this?!_

Out for blood, the cook cast his eyes around for the culprit – and landed on none other than Luffy, who was trying to inconspicuously inch his way across the floor to the door.

A tick exploded in Sanji's temple. _Who else…?!_

"THAT WAS OUR LUNCH, YOU SHITTY BOTTOMLESS PIT!"

_**SLAM!**_

He drop-kicked Luffy, sending the screaming rubber man flying across the room and straight through the galley doors. Usopp shrieked girlishly as the captain crashed into him – but the worst was yet to come. Because when they fell, they fell on the whole mess of stink bombs and firecrackers they had brought in with them. The firecrackers had to be lit.

But _every_ _single_ _one_ of the stink bombs went off at once… releasing a noxious yellow cloud smelling of sulfur, gasoline, and several other unspeakable things.

"Oh _shit_!" Sanji swore, clamping a hand down over his nose. "What the hell – _coff_?!"

Behind him, Vera had finished decorating the cake, sprinkled it with lighter fluid, and had picked up the lighter. She struck a flame… then sniffed and very nearly swore, herself. "Holy crap!" she gagged. "What _is_ that?!"

Suddenly, in her hand, the flame flickered. Sparked.

Sanji's heart dropped into his stomach.

"DROP IT!"

Vera jumped. "W-Wha –?!"

She was too darn _slow_! The cook lunged. He grabbed the lighter out of her hands and hurled it towards the sink, then snatched up his student. He had torn across the kitchen, kicked open the door, and was halfway across the galley when he _felt_ the gas spread throughout the air catch fire. And the lighter fluid was still open.

_FLABOOOOOOM!_

The resulting explosion struck him in the back like a fist, launching him through the galley doors to the outside with a burp of superheated gas and flame. Sanji braced himself for impact – and winced when his shoulder hit the ground with both his and Vera's combined weights, skidding across the lawn deck hard enough to leave green stains on his dress shirt. Once they came to a stop, he gasped to reinflate his flattened lungs. Impacts hurt a lot more when you were affected by semikami power.

Immediately, Sanji grabbed Vera and twisted her face up so he could see it properly. "You okay?" he demanded, checking her for burns or bruising.

Vera's face was drained of all color; too terrified by almost being blown up to blush. "Nn…"

Suddenly, two black blobs flew out of the galley doors and landed ungracefully beside the two cooks.

Luffy sat up, a 100-karat smile contrasting highly with his sooty skin, singed-off eyebrows, and blown-back hair. "LET'S DO THAT _AGAIN_!"

Usopp blew a smoke ring and passed out.

A shadow came over Sanji's face. "Do you know…" he murmured, shoulders shaking with barely-contained rage, "…what you just _did_…?"

He stood up. "You just…"

Vera scurried away.

"DESTROYED MY KITCHEN, YOU ASSHOLES!" Sanji roared, exploding into murderous flames and proceeding to kick the crap out of Luffy and Usopp – the sound of his fury reaching to the very heavens.

**.oOo.**

Those same heavens faded from cornflower blue, to the dull pinks and oranges of a forgettable sunset, to the diamond-studded, deepest-black velvet sky of a gorgeous autumn night. It was one of those nights nearing a new moon when darkness seemed like a tangible entity – swallowing even the light from the stars and slender moon before it could touch the earth. Still the wind and currents flowed in a seamless, unnatural curve from the southeast, and for at least fifty yards in every direction the Thousand Sunny seemed the only source of life on the ocean.

Noise, laughter, and light blazed from a homey picnic-like setup on the lawn deck, where the ten Strawhats were eating an odd assemble of sandwiches, scrounged from salvageable bread and palegg from the blackened wreckage of the kitchen. Still, not one of them complained. After lunch had been canceled due to Luffy and Usopp's little fiery mishap, everyone was hungry.

Especially Luffy and Usopp, who had been forced to sweep, scrub, and air out the kitchen all afternoon. Now, they sulked in a corner with only bread and water to eat.

"Sanjiiiii…!" Luffy whined over to where the blonde was sitting. "Can I have a sandwich? Just _one_?"

The cook breathed out a lungful of smoke. "Make a water sandwich."

"But that's just soggy bread!" the rubber man sobbed. "You're so _heartless_!"

"Not my problem."

Across the cloth, Zoro packed some bologna, lettuce, and tomato in his sandwich and took a big bite. He chewed, paused. "Needs mayo… oi! Chijo!"

Vera stiffened at the sound of her pet name and turned her head, eying the swordsman with a chilly glare.

"Pass," Zoro said, indicating the jar next to her hand.

She glanced down at the mayo, up at him… then scooted the jar about two inches towards him and went back to her conversation with Chopper.

Zoro's hackles went up. _The hell?!_

"So!" Chopper continued through a mouthful of bacon and cheese as the marimo got up, walked over, and got the mayo himself, sneering at Vera on the way back to his seat. Vera ignored him soundly. "Judging from the success of those new blood bullets Usopp and Franky invented, I think we've finally figured out where Vera's powers originate from!"

"Eh? Really?!" Brook exclaimed. "Where from?"

Everyone stared at him.

The skeleton shifted uncomfortably. "What?"

Chopper hesitated. "Uh… her _blood_."

"Ah!" Their musician took another bite of his sandwich. "Makesh shensh!"

"Yeah!" the reindeer went on. "I've been working on it seriously for almost a month and a half, but I think we can safely say the powers of a semikami lie in their hemoglobin! But weird thing is, it only seems to work when the blood is warm."

"Can we stop talking about warm blood at the dinner table?" Robin asked politely, aiming a look Franky's ketchup-soaked meal.

The shipwright noticed the revolted glances aimed at him. He blinked cluelessly. "What?"

Then Robin glanced at Nami. "Didn't you have something you wanted to tell us, Navigator-san?"

"Ah! That'sh right."

The redhead swallowed the food in her mouth, set down her BLT, and stood up. "Okay, listen up, everybody!" she yelled, claiming the attention of her crewmates. "I meant to tell you this at lunch, but with all the chaos…"

She aimed a glare at Luffy and Usopp. "It got delayed."

The two miscreants hung their heads.

Nami pulled out a large sheet of paper and spread it out before them. Everyone leaned over the map she'd drawn of the Black Nautilus Keys over the course of the past month. True to its name, the ten islands were spread in a counterclockwise spiral – just like its namesake shell – getting larger and larger the closer they got inward; an old-fashioned cardinal rosary sketched in the top right corner so they could tell which ways were north, south, east, and west.

Nami tapped her finger on the filled in landmass closest to the center. "This is where we just came from, Dead End."

Then she pointed to the blank space she'd left in the very center of the map. "And _this_," the navigator told them, clicking her nail against the paper, "is where we're heading. As you can tell from the shape of the islands, the 'All-Catch Current' – as Barker called it – is like the water in a toilet when it's being flushed. It picks up everything around the inside edge of the Keys and brings it towards _this_ spot. However, it's not just tidal. It's magnetic, too. That's why all three needles on my log pose are pointing _here_."

"Alright, we get it. So what was it about that island that had Tubby so scared?" Franky asked. "Aside from the mad scientist."

Nami's brow furrowed. "You know, that's just it!" she replied. "Before we left Dead End, I looked around the city, I searched the book shops, I hunted through the registration, and there was no indication there is anyone living on that island at all! Only when I asked the merchants down by the piers I started getting answers…"

"And?" Usopp had scooted back into the circle. "What'd you find out?"

"It turns out this guy gets fed by the living dead."

Nami pulled out a page that looked like it had been torn out of a registry ledger and pointed at a column filled with numbers and scribbled-out names. "Look at that! No one has ever returned. Ever! And every single shipment of food taken to that island is _huge_, way more than is needed for one person. Even Luffy couldn't eat this much in a month!"

Robin touched her chin thoughtfully. "So, either he has a lot of helpers…" she mused. "Or he has a lot of _pets_."

"_**He rules a thousand cannibal Aborigines, controls a bazillion maneating monsters, and has a frickin' KRAKEN as his pet!"**_

Everyone wore a grim expression as they remembered Barker's words.

Nami nodded. "Yes," she acknowledged their archeologist. "But that's not even the weirdest part."

She sat back with a confused expression, adjusting Nojiko's gold bracelet just beneath the spinning log pose. "When I asked around with shopkeepers and even everyday residents, everyone knew _about_ the island. No one knew about the scientist guy, but the island seems to be common knowledge."

Luffy leaned on Vera's shoulder. The girl stared at him incredulously, a grin tugging unbidden at her lips. "What's weird about that?" he asked innocently.

"Shut up, I'm getting to that."

Luffy scowled adorably. Vera finally gave into her smile and put an arm around him; he smiled and stretched like a contented cat, snuggling into her lap. She took off his hat, running her slender fingers through his long raven hair.

"Where was I?" Nami wondered aloud. "Oh yeah. But the thing is, apparently, that island wasn't always there!"

"That's still not _that_ weird," Usopp pointed out. "We've seen moving islands before."

"But have the people said different times on when it appeared?!" the navigator demanded.

The sharpshooter was stumped. "Uh… no."

"Exactly." Nami looked at the others. "Look, guys. The weirdest thing is that some people actually believe – without a doubt – that it's been here all along. Other people told me, with the same amount of conviction, that it's been here for ten years. Others say eight, still others say it's only been _one_! Then if I asked them again, some of them got confused, I guess. Started changing their answers. A couple people stared at me for a second… then it was like their _minds_ got reset! They asked who I was and why I was standing in _front_ of them like that!"

The redhead rubbed her suddenly aching temples. "It was weird. Very weird."

Luffy made a thoughtful sound. "Huh! So it's a mystery island!"

Chopper trembled. "Uwooooh… I don't _wanna_ go to this island anymore!" he sobbed.

Nami braced herself, sighing; this was obviously something she had been trying to avoid mentioning. "That's the thing, everyone," she finally told them. "I don't think we have a choice anymore."

"WHAT?!"

"I'm sorry!" Nami yelled, a rare note of helplessness in her voice. "I just can't see a way out of it!"

She pointed to the blank section of the map again. "Look, in order to avoid this place we'd have to row east _against_ the All-Catch Current for over _two_ _hundred_ kilometers to escape it. But thanks to the little explosion in the kitchen this afternoon we don't even have enough food for breakfast tomorrow, let alone the weeks it would take to take to traverse that kind of distance! And even if we could make it… well, then what?! The log pose would still be stuck on that center island! We'd be drifting, helpless, and likely long-dead by exposure or starvation. I don't see any other way."

"Then let's just go there."

Everyone turned to look at Luffy, who was reclined in Vera's lap like he hadn't a care in the world. "The scientist guy had all that stuff from the Otherworld, right?" he pointed out. "Maybe he knows something."

Nami was a bit shell-shocked. She'd forgotten how observant Luffy could be when it really mattered. "That's right."

Usopp, Chopper, and Brook gazed worshipfully at their captain. _It really makes you want to respect him~!_

Luffy grinned up at the stars. "Shishishishi! Then it's simple! We go to this island, stock up on food, have a chat with this Marine guy, check out his awesome kraken, and leave after the log pose is set! Simple!"

Usopp, Chopper, and Brook deflated. _He was just thinking about the kraken…_

* * *

"Well!" Vera announced blatantly. "All I heard was 'shigi shima!'"

She gave Luffy back his hat and got up, bare feet padding over the grass as she headed for the door on her hallway. "And if that's the case, I'm taking a shower," she muttered. She yawned wide, sarcastic with weariness. "I want to be all squeaky-clean arriving on my first _mystery_ island."

* * *

Everyone watched as she faded into the shadows. A door closed.

Luffy stretched exaggeratedly and yawned. "I'm tired, too!" he claimed.

The rubber man jackknifed to his feet and began to swagger after her, only to be pursued and slammed into a double-knee backbreaker chokehold by Sanji. "OH, NO YOU DON'T! You're planning on sneaking into Vera-chan's room, aren't you?!" the cook bellowed, squeezing his legs harder around the younger boy's neck. "Well I WON'T HAVE IT!"

"I was _not_!" Luffy protested, eyes sliding suspiciously all the way up and to the left.

Sanji grit his teeth. "YOU'RE A SHITTY LIAR!"

"GYAAA! Help meeee!"

The noise of Luffy being choked faded into the background as the rest of the Strawhats went back to the remnants of dinner, easily ignoring their captain's pleas for assistance. "Geez," Nami grunted. She picked her BLT back up. "He never learns, does he?"

Robin smiled at the scene. "But it's kind of cute how he tries, isn't it?"

"_Meh_."

Everyone shrugged and returned to their sandwiches.

Zoro, however, scowled. The swordsman wiped crumbs from his face and got up, slipping away into the dark – the sound of his nakama's conversation fading into silence as he opened the galley door and closed it behind him. He glared at the blackened mess for a moment… then moved on, passing through the other set of doors and trudging down the hallway on his way to the men's quarters. Unlike the others, he was _actually_ tired.

He passed the bathroom. Steam and quiet humming wafted out from under the door.

That's right. _She_ was in there.

Zoro ground his teeth and walked faster. Just thinking about the chijo got him irritated; she had been with them for almost two months and she had only gotten worse around him! But for about a week now – two after he had become her unofficial "bodyguard" – she had started to act… different when she was _alone_ with him. She didn't touch or talk to him anymore. And that should have been a relief! But whenever she did talk to him it was always in this distained, clipped tone, like he'd punched her sister. He hadn't _done_ anything. He didn't understand it!

Frustrated, Zoro stopped in front of the men's room. _Stupid, overdeveloped sense of vengeance of hers!_ he thought, gripping the doorknob. _ I still don't like the cook spending so much time with her, or the captain. It's not like I'm jealous or anything. Please! Just the opposite! _

He sighed and turned the knob. _It's just… not right._

Zoro pushed in the door.

And nearly jumped out of his pants for the second time that day. "Holy –!"

Little Roronoa stared at him. At first glance, it looked like the plushie was floating in the middle of the doorway… but if he looked carefully, Zoro saw it was suspended at eye level by a piece of fishing string, tied to a tack stuck in the doorframe.

The swordsman's hackles came up. "Overdeveloped sense of vengeance, indeed!" he growled.

Zoro pried the tack out of the doorframe, stalked back down the hall, stuck it over the _bathroom_ door, stalked back up the hall, and slammed the door, muttering in rage all the while.

**.oOo.**

* * *

About half an hour later, Vera opened the door and was startled when a green-haired plushie bopped her in the forehead.

She reeled for a second – reaching for a pistol that wasn't there – before she recognized Chibi Zoro.

"Oh." _Found you, did he?_

Vera reached up on her tiptoes to take the tack out of the top of the doorframe. Sticking the plushie in a pocket of her robe, she groaned privately to herself. Just as she thought, it would have felt forced to laugh.

The semikami wrapped her short, fluffy, hazard-striped bathrobe more tightly around herself and padded down the hallways to her room. Once she'd entered her room, Vera cast it off, leaving her clad in nothing but a lacy black babydoll top and black silk pants, crossed the floor, and jumped onto her bed, her long hair dripping water as she went, which was still wet and warm after a towel-drying. She pulled her wet curls off her neck, spreading them over her pillow to dry.

Vera sighed.

Then she got back up and fetched Chibi Zoro from her bathrobe. She placed him on the shelf over her headboard, with the other two Monster Trio dolls.

She kicked back on her bed again with another gusty sigh, gazing up at the memorabilia she had decorated her walls with over the months. Smoker's autograph, her torn yukata from Kibo Hana Island, trinkets purchased at various islands, dried-out flowers and stems, a billowing sheet of pink silk that added a bit of color to the ceiling, Usopp's flower picture. Her plushies.

Normally, looking at all of it made her feel at peace, like she'd been rather productive in this world. But tonight, Vera felt nothing like that. Instead, she groaned through her teeth and adjusted a strap of her babydoll; she'd been feeling just so out of _control_ lately! Being interested romantically in Sanji really took a toll on her inhibitions. Even pulling stuff over on Zoro had lost its zing. For some reason, she'd been really, just, _frustrated_ at the swordsman lately! Like he caused an itch deep inside her body that, no matter how hard she might try, she just couldn't scratch. It was so frustrating she would only do anything pervy anymore to make him avoid her.

"I've really gotten used to this, haven't I?" she whispered. "And it's been so long…"

Vera turned on her side, gazing longingly at the picture of her family she'd drawn so long ago. She had pinned it on the wood panel right beside her pillow, so that she could fall asleep looking at it when she felt down.

She brushed her fingers over the smiling graphite faces of her mom, her dad, her sisters, and her big, snuggly mutt Milo. "Maybe I should just start treating this place like my new reality…"

_Knock knock._

Vera blinked. She rolled over, and saw something was blocking the light from her porthole. Or _someone_.

She smiled, rolled her eyes, and got up.

Walking over to the porthole, she unlatched it and pushed it open; sure enough, Luffy hung there with a black eye, a split lip, and a grin brighter than the slender moon. "Moshimoshi!" he chirped.

Vera tapped his injuries. "Wakarimasu ka?" she scolded him halfheartedly. "Kore wa nani ga okoru ka toki Sensei wa anata o kyatchi!" Roughly and with terrible grammar, _You see? This is what happens when Sensei catches you!_

She propped her cheek in her hand, raising an eyebrow at him. "And you're still in the doghouse for blowing up the kitchen, you know."

The rubber man stuck out his tongue at her. "Pan to mizu wa jūbun ni batsudatta!" he retorted. _Bread and water was punishment enough!_

Vera snorted when Luffy's stomach made a loud noise. "Naruhodo." _I see._

"Hmmm, shirimasen." She tapped her chin, feigning indecision – letting him fidget for a few seconds – then relented and backed away from the window. "Oh, fine. Come on in. But if Sensei finds out I'm not defending you!"

It was their traditional back-and-forth, the threat of Sanji. At first, she'd really meant it (after all, Luffy had bit her in his sleep the first time they spend the night in the same bed) but after a while the warning was just routine, and Luffy knew it. He nodded eagerly and squirmed in through the tiny porthole, popping into Vera's room like a cork. He waited for her to peel back the covers. Vera normally made him work for it a while more, but tonight she was tired; she threw her comforter to the base of the bed, climbed in, and opened her arms for Luffy. The rubber man came willingly to his favorite place between her breasts.

Vera squirmed a bit. "Geez, your hands are _freezing_!"

"Wari." Luffy pulled the covers over their heads and snuggled in. It _was_ getting chilly.

* * *

Settling in, Luffy was a little surprised when he felt her body swell against him, soft, slender arms wrapping around him more tenderly, more tightly than usual. He hesitated… then propped his chin up on her chest, looking at his nakama.

"Are you okay?" he asked. It was a little weird for her to be this compliant.

Vera seemed to consider that for a minute. "I don't know," she finally replied. "Just not feeling the best."

"You're sick? I'll get Chopper."

"No, no. No." He felt her hands smooth over the muscles of his back, as if to stop him from leaving. "Not for medicine," she reassured her captain, hugging him closer. Then she hesitated. "Don't think."

"Okay."

Luffy didn't give it a second thought. He burrowed back in and was asleep in a moment. He hadn't really wanted to leave in the first place, anyway.

* * *

Vera sighed, buried her face in his hair, and eventually fell asleep, too. The best part about having Luffy with her every night was that he always brought hope into the covers with him. He neutralized her frustration with Zoro and restrained attraction to Sanji, and he was honest. She could be open with him.

Maybe she'd feel better in the morning. After all, there was nothing like snuggling with a Luffy to keep away the nightmares.

* * *

Outside, Chopper yawned.

The little reindeer had been assigned to sentry duty tonight. Under the stars, his fluffy back against the banister of the crow's nest, he was armed against the cold with a big, warm blanket and a thermos of hot tea; but perhaps that hadn't been the best idea. It was making him sleepier… and sleepier…

_Maybe it'll be a Navy-controlled spa which is so good no one ever wants to leave…!_ Chopper thought wistfully. _Unlikely, yeah… but isn't everything in the Grand Line…?_

Finally, he drifted off, snoring lightly in the silence.

Even if he had been awake, in the blackness, he never would have seen the water become cloudy with a deep, dark, foul-smelling substance – seeping in from the northeastern sea. From the blank spot on Nami's map.

From their "mystery island."

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I'll admit, a LOT of things in this chapter just **_**happened **_**while I was writing it… but I think it turned out pretty well, don'tcha think? **

**HOWEVER. The Halloween bit was not impromptu, nor were Sanji's little voices OR our little exchange between Zoro and Vera! Just what is going on with those two, anyway? Women are so hard to understand, sometimes even with ourselves… but something just happened with the ocean! And tomorrow the Strawhats will wake to a **_**nasty**__**surprise**_** surrounding our mystery island. How suspicious~!**

**Review! Follow! Favoraite! As always, anticipate! And don't forget to vote in the poll on my bio! ^3^ **


	23. An Upset

**Enter the villain of You-Are-What-You-Eat Arc. HE IS… bleaaaaaaaah! *SHIVERS* I got more than a couple cases of sick, excited goosebumps writing this. It might just be me because I KNOW what's to come, but nonetheless I hope I successfully unnerve or gross you out with this chappie!**

**Oh. And mindbomb hazard. Enjoy~! *EVIL GRIN***

* * *

**Chapter 23:**

**An Upset**

"Ahhhh… ahhhh~!"

Chopper sneezed awake. "_Kachoo_!"

A chilly autumn wind raked its claws through his fur. The Kibo Hana windchime clinked around his ears as the reindeer sniffed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes; his blanket was in a ball next to him, and his thermos was cold as a dead man's fingers. Judging from the light that glanced off the crow's nest wall, it was about seven in the morning.

Chopper got up, working a crick out of his back. "Mmmmmm!"

He yawned, turned around to look at the ocean…

And froze.

**…**

"_KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_"

"WHAT THE –?!"

Sanji sat up so fast he bashed his head on the bunk above him. WHAM! "**OW**!"

Then he promptly lost his balance and fell on the floor. "Uuu_waaaAH_ –!" _Slam_.

The cook curled up into a ball, coddling his aching skull and swearing like a sailor. Usopp sat up zombie-like in his own bunk, frowning crossly at all the noise; somehow, all the other guys managed to doze on. "Sanjiii… shut uuup… iz too early for thizz…!" he muttered, still half-asleep.

Sanji sat up abruptly. "I heard a scream!"

He immediately got to his feet and sprinted down the hall. "Ladies, I am comiiiing~!"

A door opened. "Nami-swan! Robin-chwan!" came the blonde's voice from the direction of the women's quarters. "Are you all ri–?!"

WHAM! "_DON'T COME IN HERE, YOU PERVERT!_!"

Slam.

Sanji sprung back to his feet and took off again in the other direction. "Vera-chan!"

Usopp blinked, yawned, then turned his head, smacking his lips…

And saw the bunk next to him was empty. The sharpshooter's eyes bugged. _**OH SHOOT, LUFFY!**_

Sanji skidded up to Vera's door, landing two quick knocks on it. "Vera-chan, you awake?!"

He pressed his ear against the door. No response.

"I'm coming in!" the cook announced. He yanked open the door and barged in.

But… a beautiful scene, like out of a fairy tale, met the romantic's eyes. Thick, hazy golden sunlight filtered through the porthole. Dust motes danced with their own radiance, like tiny stars, or planets, in the air. The sunbeams themselves danced over the sleeping figure of his Vera-chan, kissing her long, ruffled curls, beautiful face, and lips with a soft, divine radiance – gentle and slightly parted with her dreams.

Sanji breathed in both awe and relief.

Then… Luffy stuck his messy bedhead up from behind her.

The rubber man took one of his arms out from around her waist and scratched his head, looking around in confusion. "Hmmmmm…?"

Then he saw Sanji frozen in the doorway.

Luffy's jaw dropped. "EH?!"

Sanji gaped at him. "GAH!"

"JEEEAAAH!"

"OOOOIII!"

Both men pointed accusingly at each other, screaming. "_Gwooooooooohhh_–!"

* * *

Vera trembled in barely contained irritation – then abruptly sat up in her bed, utterly furious. "_DAMARE_!" she shrieked. "Some people are trying to _sleep_ here!"

* * *

"YOU SHITTYYYYYY –!"

"GWAAAAA!"

**Boom**.

The impact shook the hull of the Thousand Sunny. In the men's quarters, a picture dropped from the wall and hit the floor with a crash. The other guys stirred, sitting up and complaining about all the noise.

Even Zoro sat up, yawning wide enough to put a hole in the ozone. "What is that spazzy ero-cook doing now?" grouched the swordsman.

Usopp facepalmed. _Geez, Luffy…!_

Meanwhile, outside Chopper had shifted to Heavy Point. "Uwaaaah! How could this happen in the one night?!" he squeaked, grabbing his hat in a panic and scurrying around the crow's nest in anxious circles. The reindeer's voice and loud footfalls echoed all the way down the mast. "This is the Grand Line, but _still_!"

Down on deck, the rest of the crew started to trickle out from the lower decks, most of them still in their pajamas; since Sanji hadn't gotten up early to make a huge breakfast they'd _all_ slept late. The cook dragged Luffy kicking and screaming from the lower decks: "Before I fry this asshole up for breakfast, what's with all the shitty noise?! Eh, Chopper?!" he yelled up at the mast.

Their doctor leaned over the railing, pointing so hard they all half-expected his arm to fall off. "LOOK!"

Everyone turned to look.

And gasped.

While they had slept, the seascape had completely changed. A biting chill had entered the air, raising goosebumps on every inch the Strawhat's exposed skin despite the contrasting hot white eye of the sun, glaring down mercilessly from a sky darkened from its usual light, robin's-egg blue. Now, it was a fearsome, dark, and deep cobalt color, an unnatural hue for a morning sky in any part of this world. But alarming as that was, the ocean had gone through the most dramatic transformation of all. It was not the white-tipped, clear cerulean green of the day before. It wasn't even _blue_ anymore. No, the sea was now flat, mirror-smooth, and terrible, thick… crimson. Gone was the scent of sea salt from the breeze.

It smelled _coppery_.

Hanging in their cook's grip, Luffy blinked. "What the hell?"

**.oOo.**

A couple minutes later, the pirates hauled a dripping scarlet bucket of the ocean water up and over the side of the Sunny. They set it on the lawn deck and gathered around.

Luffy peered into the bucket. A red, rippling reflection stared back at him with curious eyes.

He sniffed at it. "It smells like blood!"

Zoro dipped his fingers in it, rubbing them together to check the consistency. "It _is_ blood," he said. He wiped his hand on his robe indifferently. "It's been mixed with the seawater, but there's no doubt about it."

Usopp, Chopper, and Brook clung to each other, trembling. "_Scaaarrryyyy…_!" they sobbed in unison.

Nami stared, frightened, around at the scarlet ocean with new eyes. "How could _this_ _much_ blood even _get_ in the ocean?!" she squeaked.

Robin looked pensive, scratching notes on this strange new environment in her notepad. "Perhaps something in these waters is capable of massacring entire schools of Sea Kings?"

Then she paused. "Ah… but then we'd see skeletons."

"You called?!" Brook called. "Yohohoho!"

"QUIT WITH THE JOKES!" Nami shrieked, throwing her hand out over the banister to punctuate her words. "This is _serious_–!"

_Sploosh_!

Suddenly, a giant, saw-toothed shark broke the red surface of the water. Time seemed to slow down as it flew through the air – blood and brine falling in sheets from its sleek, black-speckled skin, its wide, rabid eyes glowing with an insane light – jaws slowly opening as it aimed to… bite… off… Nami's…!

Zoro lunged forward, bringing Shuusui in a flying side slice at the threat and knocking it away. A long cut opened in the shark's side, spraying blood, and landed back in the ocean with an enormous splash. The marimo landed back on the deck. _Tmp_.

He flicked his hand to rid Shuusui's edge of blood and resheathed the black blade. _Clink._

The navigator swallowed, realizing she had almost just lost her arm. "Th-Thank you, Zoro…!"

The swordsman grunted.

"You damn marimo!" Sanji howled, falling to all fours and slamming his fist into the deck. "It's _my_ job to save the ladies!"

Zoro glared, golden earrings chiming. "Shitty job you're doing."

* * *

Vera clenched her fists, feeling a fiery knot of vengeance burn under her breastbone for her sensei. _Show-off. Thinks he's soooo cool –!_

* * *

Nami peered over the rail, down at the corpse floating in the water.

A new pool of blood spread around in the water. Then, pinprick ripples chorused around the dead shark, and a school of smaller, black-speckled fish – like piranhas – with razor-sharp jaws erupted from the water and dragged the corpse down into the ocean. There was a thrashing deep in the water.

They were _eating_ it.

Nami swallowed and looked around. Now that she was watching for it, there were the same pinprick ripples popping up in random places all around the Sunny. They were being _stalked_ by bloodthirsty, maneating fish – smart enough to wait for a stupid sailor to stick out an arm or a leg and then strike for their meal.

"The blood in this water…!" she whispered, realizing a gruesome reality. "It draws marine predators. But there is no way normal fish can survive in this kind of environment, so they're forced to feed on each other. And anything else they can possibly find. Entering that water would be _suicide_ for a human."

"W-Wait a sec," Usopp realized. "Of course jumping overboard is out of the question, but with all those fish in the water… couldn't we catch some?"

Chopper started to drool. "That means –!"

Luffy's eyes lit up. "BREAKFAST!"

Nami rolled her eyes and turned away from her crewmates as they scrambled over each other in a race to get the fishing poles, looking down at her log pose to check their course. _Blood ocean or not,_ she thought, her head growing cool again as her eyes sank back to the wavering needles. _We're still caught in the All-Catch Current. And come on, we've been traveling all night!_

Her gaze traveled up, scouring the horizon out of habit. _That means we have at least be getting _close_ –!_

Suddenly, the redhead stiffened, her pupils dilating at the sight before her.

But she recovered quickly. "Oi, guys!"

At the urgent tone in their navigator's voice, Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper stopped scrapping. Sanji, Franky, Vera, and Brook turned, making sounds of curiosity. Robin glanced up from her notebook. Zoro opened his eye. Nami raced to the rail and pointed. "There!" she yelled in a sailor's voice. "Off the north bow! Somebody get me some binoculars!"

"Oh! Uh… yeah!"

Two black-speckled piranha leapt from the scarlet ocean, snapping at the redhead's extended finger. She yelped and snatched it back. The fish landed back in the water with dissatisfied _plop_s as Usopp raced to fetch his binoculars. Nami didn't even watch him go. She rubbed her finger and kept her eyes on the dark lump on the horizon, like it would disappear if she looked away; she stayed that way for until the sharpshooter came back – huffing and puffing – with his binoculars.

Usopp bent in half, bracing one hand on his knee with exhaustion. "H-Here you go!" he gasped, offering her the tool.

Nami snatched the binoculars from him and put them to her eyes.

She stayed that way, still as a statue against the cobalt sky for a full minute – so long, that the others started to wonder if she was frozen that way. One by one, the rest of her nakama began to get up one and join her at the rail – squinting at the line of land on the horizon; trying hard as they could to see something, but all in vain.

Meanwhile, Nami's cinnamon eyes narrowed intently through the binoculars, getting the very first look at their "mystery island." It was a huge landmass; bigger than the land level on Fishman Island, at very least over _double_ the size of Dead End, and its geography could have been described as nothing else than the three stairs up to Hell's door. At the lowest level, a flat plain of ash covered the entire southern tip of the island, crisscrossed with massive craters and dry cracks that could be seen even from kilometers away. Nami felt her throat go dry just _looking_ at it, gauging the sparse scrub plants to be filled with sharp thorns and leaves that made you itch. She swallowed, blinked, and looked back through the binoculars, moving onto the second level. The arid land extended at least ten miles from the shoreline – and there, a thick, treacherous army of strange-looking trees stood. Their trunks looked… weird from this distance. Bark the pale yellow of a drowned man's skin, with thick, intimidating crowns of black-emerald foliage and thorny green undergrowth at their feet. This level seemed to cover most of the island; the alien trees extended in every direction Nami could see, obscuring any sign of a town or village there might have been. The 2nd biggest volcano the navigator had _ever_ seen was a pointed black mountain on the tip of the island furthest to the Sunny. Even from this distance, she could see the glow and the fumes. At first sight, their "mystery island" immediately earned a spot in Nami's Top Ten "Places I Would NOT Want to Live." Everything about it looked hostile; the only _possible_ sign of a resident she saw was a house.

Nami had to look again to make sure she wasn't seeing things. That was right! A big terra-cotta _house_, anchored three-quarters up the side of a volcano. It took a third look, but she finally identified a thin, fuzzy line, too; an insanely long staircase cut out of the igneous rock, connecting the building to the very foot of the volcano, hidden in the forest far, far below.

The navigator lowered the binoculars, an unnerved look on her face.

"Well," she mused. "There it is. And there's at least _one_ person living there."

Eyebrows raised at this new piece of information. Brook's jawbone dropped. _Incredible!_ the Soul King thought, equal parts amazed and terrified. "I can hardly believe my ears. If I had any. Yohohohoho! But, um…"

Heads turned toward the skeleton. "Not to alarm you, but is it just me?" Brook asked. "Or is that thing getting bigger?"

Nami whipped her gaze back towards the island – but, suddenly, she felt the salty, copper-scented air change.

A slopping sound registered in her trained ears. Immediately, the redhead leaned over the railing, wide brown eyes trained on the water below. Moments ago, the scarlet brine had been still and thick as one of Sanji's soups. But now, she saw frothing, pinkish-white tips and definitive ripples, different than that of the fish.

All of a sudden, she felt it.

_FWOOSH!_

"_Whoah_!" Everyone yelped, staggering when their feet were nearly knocked out from under them. The Sunny surged forward, like a toy boat yanked by a string, moving at breakneck speed. On a growing wave right towards the hostile-looking island.

Nami wrapped both arms around the railing. "No!" she yelled, as if it weren't already apparent. "We're getting _closer_!"

**…**

* * *

_**A/N Soundtrack: "I Kissed A Boy" Cobra Starship**_

_**PRESS PLAY**_

* * *

"_**Yo, check it out, I gotta plaaaan**_!"

Oblivious to the ship speeding towards his island, the figure of a lean, shaggy-haired, mostly naked young man danced recklessly around the massive foyer of his house on the volcano, fingers ripping at guitar strings he had no idea how to use. Despite all the curtains being thrown wide to let sunshine in, along with a blinding, eagle's eye vantage point over the entire island. Its resident always said the only thing worth climbing all those stairs was the view. Seeing his trees, his ocean, his sky! However, the sheer size of the room swallowed up all the light before it could even illuminate half of his main room – leaving the back wall shrouded in shadow. The audio system, however, was up _full_ _blast_. The clashing notes of an iPod song and the horrible squealing of his guitar bounced off the walls and floor aimlessly, endlessly, only getting louder with each revolution around the room. It even drowned out his tone-deaf shrieking of the English lyrics.

"_Here's_! _**MY INTENTION~**_!"

The figure banged his head on the strings of the abused instrument, producing a shrill feedback that echoed in his ears like a woman's scream. "_**The frat boys in the club are LAAAAME!**_"

Some of his long black hair snagged. He thoughtlessly ripped free.

"Let's start… an _altercation_~!" he hissed, teeth gleaming madly in the sun.

His fingers hooked back into the strings and yanked hard enough to break one loose. The young man writhed back across the floor, his bare toes wiggling and clenching in psychotic ecstasy. Sweat gleamed on every inch of his exposed skin; his taught, willowy physique clad in nothing but a pair of polka-dot boxers.

"_I got my! Whole damn CREW~_!"

He threw his hair back – casting drops of sweat into the air – grinned, stuck out his tongue to catch one as it fell back to his face. Splat.

The madman shivered, opening eyes black as pitch.

"_**COME OOOOON!**_"Jackal screamed. "_**WHAT'CHA GON' DOOOO?!**_"

**…**

On the rolling deck of the Sunny, Nami finally managed to get to her feet. "Furl the sails and brace for impact!" she screamed over the sea and wind, then renewed her grip on the banister, eyes intent on the rapidly approaching shore. "This is gonna be a rough one!"

**…**

"_I kissed a boy an' they liked iiiit~_! _Got all the honeys in the club exciteeddd…!_" Jackal sang, again terribly off-key as he shook his hair back and forth in the sunlight.

In a shaded corner, a pair of eerie, glinting, ghost-green eyes blinked open. A second – these wider and a blinding, solar yellow – followed swiftly and narrowed. Slit pupils dilated in fury at the sight before them. A chorus of guttural hisses rolled through the room, a fearsome warning in irritation that something would disturb their sleep. But the tall, gangly human took absolutely no notice even though the snarls overwhelmed even music that shattered the air itself, continuing his train wreck performance as the owners of those feral eyes uncurled from their corner… and stepped out from the shadows. There were two of them; both wore clunky steel collars, but other than that they were two contrasting members of a kind. The first was unmistakably male and homogenous in color; a life-sucking black. Standing six and a half feet tall, its muscles were long, hard, and lithe as a panther's, coiled like thick iron springs ready to be sprung. However, the second was smaller.

She was feminine, with a beauty mark on her left check.

Long lashes, and the curves of a young woman under her silky, bright gold, tiger-striped hide. Other than the small, keen ears, razor-sharp teeth and claws on all twenty digits, and lengthy tails that twitched in annoyance, they might have borne a humanoid semblance. But even in the poor light, they moved precisely, low and silent as animals. Their aura was that of a hungry predator. Not even a blind man could have mistaken these beasts for human.

The insane, mostly naked scientist noticed them emerge out the corner of his eye. "I kissed a boy just to start shiiiit~!" he grinned at the predatory creatures. He spread his feet, dropped it, and shook his butt at them. "_And homeboy was NOT about it!_"

The male monster's ears flicked back against its head of shaggy black hair. It snarled angrily; claws slid out. The female just rolled her yellow eyes exasperatedly, tossed her long mane, and began to clean one of her paws.

Jackal danced aimlessly away without a care, still waggling his hips provocatively as he went. "I know it's wrong, but I don't mind! Now I'm gonna start shit tonight~!"

Then, out of the same shadows came a huge, fluffy brown wolf the size of the ten-foot-diameter chandelier on the ceiling. It licked its grizzled chops, which were stained with fresh blood. Scars decorated its body in a grotesque tapestry, inflicted by tooth, claw, blade, and fire – and where its left eye once was, there was a gaping hole, lined with a dried-on coat of pus, old blood, and wriggling maggots. It wore a bulky collar, too, although it was significantly more beat-up than the others. The animal panted excitedly and bounded forward. Its wake was so powerful it blew the smaller, lither beast a step away. Green eyes flashed in irritation; he aimed a swipe at the creature's hindquarters at it passed.

"I kissed a boy just to start shiiiit!  
Bitches loved iiiit~!"

"AROOOOOOO~!"

Jackal laughed and jerked a thumb at the wolflike creature. "Urufu likes it!" he yelled conversationally over the music, and continued singing, his voice now punctuated at odd moments by the beast's rabid howls.

"Nah, you don't even know my _name_!  
It _doesn't mattah_!  
Don't even front, you got NO game!  
_You're just a suckuh~!  
__So what now?! _ I c_lowned YOU!_"

Jackal sank to his knees, beckoning to the feminine beast. "And I'm _stealing_ your girl too~!"

The tiger-girl grudgingly stopped cleaning, came over to him, and sat at his feet. "She wants a secure dude…" he whispered.

He grabbed her ears roughly, squeezing them to the point of discomfort.

Then, in one fluid motion, Jackal stood back up, threw his hands up in the air, and thrust his pelvis teasingly towards her fanged throat; once and with force. "_And_?"

He made a face at the dark-furred hybrid. "THAT'S JUST NOT YOU!"

**…**

The island rushed at the Sunny like a truck.

"_BRACE_!" Nami yelled. Everyone grabbed onto something.

But suddenly, just as she was about to hit the shore… the Thousand Sunny was jerked 90 degrees to the right by the same vicious current, and the broad side of the ship was suddenly under full onslaught of her own momentum. A tidal wave of bloody brine sprayed over the side of her deck.

_**WOOSH**_.

Cold, stinking crimson slime splattered the Mugiwaras. Several cried out in disgust.

**…**

"Me. And. My. Bros. That's how we _roll_! You never know. How _far we'll go_~!"

Jackal beckoned the last two forms that had emerged, urging them to join him. A huge, hulking, absolutely hairless creature with resemblance to an eight-foot-tall bodybuilder with wet, slick grey skin and grotesquely distended muscles. Its face was sexless, with neither lips nor hair. Its hands and feet were incredibly, grossly out of proportion, webbed and spiked with strange nubs all along the joints – like they were not natural and the body was rejecting them. Its eyes gleamed a wet, solid black, no whites or pupils; its bulky legs lumbered like they weren't used to walking on land. Meanwhile, behind him, came the first full humanoid to be seen. It was a spindly, porcelain-skinned girl, barely older than thirteen, with snarled red hair, tiny breasts, thin, wiry muscles, and big hips. Her arms and legs were nicked by claw scars. She wore nothing but what – bizarrely enough – looked like _spider_ _silk_, plastered sparingly over what needed to be covered on the female anatomy, and her fingernails were freakishly long and polished. However, like all the rest, her mode of locomotion was unusual… and hers the most freakish of all. She crawled. On all fours, knees and elbows jutting unnaturally toward the ceiling. It seemed like such an awkward way to walk, but the spindly girl managed to scuttle at an alarming speed across the floor; faster than most men could run. They, too, wore the same thick, blinking steel collars around their necks.

The bulky one glanced down at the frail one. Her round eyes flicked up to him, blinking wetly. Finally, they seemed to reach a soundless agreement and joined their master and wolfy friend.

"You're only here for our…"

Jackal pointed at the dark monster and smirked. "A~MUuuuuSE~MEeeeNT."

It seemed to actually roll its pale green eyes as the master of the house danced away, followed by the enormous, fluffy Urufu, the hairless grey hulk, and scantily clad woman in a conga line so bizarre and twisted it was almost funny to watch. He aimed an exasperated look at the tigress, who still remained where she'd sat on the floor. She bared her fangs slightly, hissing at the other wildcat – then turned her nose up and slunk back over to sit beside him. Meanwhile, Jackal resumed singing and abusing his guitar.

"_I kissed a boy and they liked iiit!  
__Got all the honeys in the club exciteeed…!  
__I kissed a boy just to start shiiiiit~!  
__And homeboy was __**NOT**__ about it!  
__I know it's wrong! But I don't mind~!  
__I'm gonna __**start**__ shit tonight!  
__I kissed a boy just to start shiiiiit…"_

Jackal tossed the instrument noisily to the floor and threw his arms wide. "_BITCHES LOVED IIIIT~!_"

* * *

_**:SOUNDTRACK END:**_

* * *

A shirt slapped him in the face.

Jackal frowned past the fabric hanging off his head. "Everybody's a critic…" he muttered.

The black wildcat snarled impatiently. "Oooo, fine fine fine fine fine!" the dark-haired human snapped. He switched back to Japanese, words tumbling over each other as he pulled on the shirt over his boxers. "Say what you like, yooooou not-morning-kitty! Hyo really really _really_ isn't a morning kitty. I thought it was pretty badass, so shut shut shut _shut up_. Don't-you-guys-agree, hah?"

Urufu yelped in agreement and scratched his eye, knocking a few maggots loose; the red-haired girl scuttled over to the larvae and licked them up off the floor.

Jackal caught an eyeful through an armhole. "Five second rule applies to anyone, I guess. Just don't have any leftovers, Kumo-chi. I'm still picking mice out of the curtains from last time."

He went back to wrestling with his I'm-With-Stupid tee shirt. "WHERE IS THE DAMN HEAD HOLE IN THIS THING?! AND WILL SOMEBODY GO GET ME SOME COFFEE, ALREADY, SAME?! I AM TIRED! Grrrrrr!"

The hulking Same ground a set of saw-like teeth. The wolfy Urufu growled and coughed with laughter, aiming a _sucks-to-be-you_ look as the lumpy grey mutant lumbered clumsily away. The slender Kurokumo's round, expressionless eyes watched the scene for a moment… then used her dexterous toes to scoop the rest of the maggots into her mouth. She tucked her catch under her tongue, scuttled to the open window, and hopped up on the ledge, ready to take the half-mile leap to the forest canopy at the base of the volcano – and stopped.

She stared at the figure of a lone pirate ship moving toward their shore, hazy in the distance.

Jackal popped up behind her. "What'cha-lookin'-at-hah?" he slurred speedily.

When she didn't respond, the mad scientist waited for a moment. Then he leaned over, pressing his cheek forcibly into hers until she clacked her jaws in sudden alarm and scuttled over. Jackal's wide black eyes blinked as they matched Kurokumo's previous line of vision.

The rest of the monsters gathered at his back. The sunlight threw their faces into sharp relief, revealing every detail of their beastly or outlandish forms. Save for the two hybrids who held back to the shadows – yet obscured.

"…_**COMPANY**_!"

Jackal screamed at the top of his lungs, sending Urufu, Kurokumo, and Same scrambling for shelter. The grey giant actually fell down, shaking the floor with the impact of his 3-ton body, but continued to flop across the floor like a fish out of water. "_**PIRATE SHIP! SOUND THE ALAAAAARM**_!"

When all three of them were out of sight… Jackal grinned cheerily. "Just kidding~!"

The bizarre young man skipped over to the only two of his pets that remained in shadow; Hyo, the dark panther, and the tigress woman. The great cats.

He had just hunkered down before them when suddenly, something about him changed. A cold, murderous light entered his eyes. A psychotic grin replaced the trollish, playful one of seconds before. His voice went from obnoxious and espresso-fast to a cool, deep, reassured tenor… with all the confidence of an experienced serial killer ready to hit his next target.

Jackal stroked the tigress's soft golden hide. "Just take care of them for me…" he murmured.

He smiled into her shaded yellow eyes. "Will ya, kitten?"

Tora's teeth bared in excitement.

And the tigress took off in a blast of wind, moving faster than the eye could see down the mountain… then hooked her claws into the soil and launched into serious gear, racing into the emerald underbrush no more than a blur of glistening teeth as she made her way to the coast. The scent of blood was always in the air here. But now, the scent of new prey filled the monster's nose.

Jackal's eyes gleamed after his pet. "Give me a _show_."

Behind him, a snarl met his ears.

The mad scientist turned towards his panther, cheery persona restored as if it had never left. "Hey, don't give me that, Hyo. You went last time~!"

**…**

The Sunny continued to splash through the thick, soupy ocean for several hundred more yards along the shoreline. But slowly, the splashing ebbed, and within moments she had slowed to a quiet cruising speed through the scarlet sludge, riding another sea current that carried her crew in a gentle curve around the grey, arid lands of the island.

It was so quiet… almost like a tour cruise.

For a few minutes, the Strawhats waited in the silence, tense as coiled springs. For an attack, or a sign of life, they knew not.

But finally, Nami noticed the treeline approaching.

The redhead's eyes narrowed at it, then she made a decisive sound and stood. "Drop anchor here!" she called, walking back along the deck. "It would be too easy to attack us from the cover of that forest. Best to stop here, in open space."

The navigator raised her voice, looking at the rest of her nakama. "Make your preparations! Catch fish for breakfast, polish your weapons, whatever! In one hour, we move out!"

**.oOo.**

"Ready… aim… fire!"

_BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!_

Vera unloaded all six shots at once into her target. A neat cluster of holes appeared in its right shoulder, her default hotspot on an enemy's body; always painful but almost never fatal. This enemy, however, did not feel much in the way of pain. It was a static, elementary-level stuffed dummy Usopp had made to teach her how to shoot, made in the shape of a man and filled with ballistics gel, Styrofoam pellets, and red dust as to easily see the shots where they landed.

"Wow," the Strawhat sharpshooter commented, taken aback by her sudden aggression. "Don't we usually we just go one at a time? And remember! You only use that pistol to defend yourself. _Never_ aim for the –!"

She reloaded.

_BAM_! A bullet blew out the back of her target's head.

"Uhh… okay then. I-I guess you didn't quite catch what I said!" Usopp stammered, grinning to try and hide the fact he was sweating nervously. "Let's try one of those blood shot pellets! I've been really looking forward to seeing how they –!"

Vera inserted the black-and-yellow striped cartridge, dropped to one knee, and fired with barely a pause. A blood shot pellet tore into the crotch of the dummy, blasting its upper torso clean off and splattering the tattered stump with _real_ blood. A mushroom cloud of red powder wafted through the air.

"Vera…?" Usopp squeaked, feeling an urge to cross his legs. "You're scaring me…"

* * *

Vera stood up. "Can we just move on to the moving targets?" she asked with as much politeness as she could muster, impatiently reloading. "Back on the last island, I missed a shot because I forgot to compensate for his movement."

She switched off the safety, spun, and aimed for the thigh. "I need more practice." _BAM_!

* * *

Usopp flinched when she opened a hole above the dummy's kneecap. "Vera, hold on."

_BAM_!

The sharpshooter raised his voice. "Vera, I said _hold_ _on_!" he yelled. "Can't you even understand _that_?! Listen to me!"

"Oi, oi…"

Vera stiffened, blood rushing to her face at the sound of a familiar, deep, grouchy voice. Slowly, she turned to look at the green-haired swordsman leaning back against the mast. She hadn't even heard him settle there. And even then, he _should_ have been sleeping! "What do _you_ want?" she growled at him.

But Zoro opened his eye and glared in her direction. "Control yourself, will you?" he snarled back at her. "If you can't control your temper, you're gonna hurt somebody."

"SHUT UP!" Vera yelled. "LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING, KENSHI!"

Usopp jumped, biting back a squeal as the semikami emptied the rest of her cartridge into the dummy's kneecap, rammed the pistol into her holster, and stalked away, gritting her teeth and glowing bright pink with fury.

He recovered quickly and whirled on Zoro. "_Zoro_!"

The marimo closed his eye again. "What?"

"_Don't go back to sleep_!" The sniper stamped his foot, steam tooting out of his ears in exasperated spurts. "What was _that_?! Look, I don't get why Vera's been so pissed with you lately, either. But that's no reason to bait her! It just makes more trouble for me!"

Zoro sighed and looked at his long-nosed nakama. "I wasn't baiting her," he insisted. "I was just telling her the truth."

Usopp scowled and crossed his arms. "With all due respect, _kenshi_, Vera's right in that aspect of things. Swords are your specialty, Zoro. Sharpshooting is mine. I wouldn't have put a gun in her hand if I thought she couldn't handle it."

The Santoryuu user's eyes gleamed scarily. "Then what was that '_hold on_' just then? Hm?"

Usopp opened his mouth, drawing breath to answer…

Then he released it in a sigh. "You know, I honestly don't know!" he replied, scratching his head of curly black hair. "It's funny, she used to tell me everything! Up until about a week ago. Since then, she's been asking me for more lessons on shooting, more moving targets, asking about better bullets. More destructive ones. I asked her why in the world would she need more firepower when she barely ever uses the thing for real, but she just made this weird annoyed face and walked away, like she hadn't even heard me."

Usopp rubbed his face, perplexed. "For the first time in a long time, I feel like she's gone back to being the foreign, English-speaking sky stalker! But now she barely laughs for _anyone_ besides Sanji anymore and…"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, brow furrowed. "Zoro, she's _bloodthirsty_! I don't know what to make of it –!"

_Snoooooooore…_

The sharpshooter's head snapped up. Zoro's mouth was wide open, snoring like a chainsaw with a huge snot bubble inflating and deflating in one nostril. "BASTARD, I SAID DON'T GO BACK TO SLEEP!" Usopp roared.

Zoro waited until the sniper had stomped away.

Then, he stopped pretending to be asleep and opened his eye again. _This started a week ago for Usopp, too? _the marimo thought, admittedly with some small measure of relief._ So, it wasn't just me. She __**is**__ acting weird. Even for her…_

* * *

Vera screamed in her head, so loud it came out in sections as whispers. _That… that AHO! That's it! _she thought irately. _ Line in the sand, period, full stop! I am just __**avoiding**__ Zoro from now on!_

Vange glanced at her a little weirdly. _What are you so mad at him for, anyway?_

The otherworlder stomped past Brook, blushing angrily. _I DON'T KNOW, ALL RIGHT?!_

* * *

The skeleton barely noticed the semikami girl muttering to herself. He sensed her emotions more strongly through the star, anyway; right now, it pulsed with a plethora of fury, confusion, and helplessness, some of those three emotions being felt because she was feeling those emotions in the _first_ place! The female mind was a complex web he hardly understood, even after two lives. He was almost glad Usopp-san was the one who had to deal with it.

But no. Our "Soul King's" attention was on something else.

Namely, the mass of otherworldly red fog Brook could see rising from this island and the ocean around it.

_**Brook sheathed Soul Solid. They had just finished defeating the army of G5 Marines (and with very little difficulty, he might add). But then, upon consulting his star, he had abruptly sensed a new presence on his radar. This one was very different from Vera's white radiance, or even the subtle golden sparks of Shizuka-sama's aura. **_

_**This one… was BIG. **_

_**Like, island-size big. Approaching from the west, sure and powerful as an aeon-old mammoth – yet hot and wet and slimy. Like the breath of a rapist, organic and disgusting as the maggots that writhed in the flesh of rotting corpses. Brook found his bones shivering uncontrollably, because the longer he tried to identify exactly what it was that was coming, the more confused, horrified, and sickened he became. The power… it was almost on top of them! Oh, God, it was –!**_

_**Something snapped in the atmosphere. The stars went dark, and every single hair on Brook's skull stood straight up.**_

_**From over the horizon it came. A wall of blood-colored fog – a thousand feet high and thicker than soup, consuming the sea, then the shore, then the island, then the city and all that was in it, clutching with hot, wet, reaching fingers. It moved faster than a natural mist. And it **_**stank**_**! It stank of fear and decay. And of ravenous hunger. Brook couldn't see his finger bones in front of his face. It was just red. Red. Vision obscured, he began to turn – looking for something, anything to orient himself with – but it was all around. Red. Red. Red. Red! Red!**_

_It's like that time… on Kibo Hana Island! _ he realized slowly. _But then again, this is also _not_ like it._

The skeleton reached out, watching some of the filmy scarlet mist waft up from the water and brush against his phalanges. _It's not as thick, nor is it as malevolent. It doesn't have those strange embers in it. There's no life fire either, it is just… here._

Brook spared a look back at Sanji-san, Zoro-san, and Luffy-san – who had just had his hook stolen from him by a fish with teeth sharp enough to cut his fishing line, and was currently yelling for it to get back here and jump onto the girl, you bastard. _Those of us with Observation Haki haven't given away any suspicion of it, _he confirmed. _ If they thought something was wrong, like back then, they would have said something by now. _

He braced his bony elbows back on the railing, gazing back on the shoreline. _I won't give anyone due alarm, _he decided._ But it shall be one of the things I ask the mad scientist man on this island! I swear on my life~!_

The skeleton paused. _Ah. But I'm already –!_

_**SPLAT.**_

"KeeeeeeeYOOOOO HOOO!" Brook half-screamed, half-laughed. The musician nearly fell backwards, nearly peeing himself in sheer terror as a clawed hand – stripped of its skin, soaked with slime and blood – shot out of the water and slammed onto the rail.

A dripping red creature pulled itself onto the deck of the Sunny and raised its nose to the air, inhaling deeply.

The Strawhat crew stared at it for a long, tense moment.

Or more specifically, the features that became clear as the scarlet filth from the ocean continued to slip, slowly, from its fur and claws.

"Oh my…" Robin murmured.

"W-What is it…?" Nami chattered tremulously.

"Is that a _tiger_?" Chopper squeaked. As a reindeer, other than Luffy (and even him, sometimes) carnivores seriously unnerved him.

"It came out of the ocean, idiot!" Franky said, pointing out the obvious.

"Well, what the hell is it, then?!" the doctor snapped back.

"It looks just like _Vera_!" Luffy exclaimed.

Well, not exactly like Vera. This creature only resembled her in the face – eerily so, in the cheekbones, the eyelashes, the height of the forehead, the chin – it even had a beauty mark in the same spot on its left cheek, visible through pale whiskers and the dark caramel markings that striped its lithe, furred body; which Brook had mistaken for the frayed fibers of exposed tissue. Instead of hair, its mane was bizarrely long and pale and sprouted down its back instead of its front – unlike most animals – making it look strangely like the creature had a head of long, blonde, _human_ hair. Its feminine breasts and hips matched almost exactly Vera's own curves. There was even a similar spark of mischief in its long-lashed yellow eyes, echoed in a soft, white-tipped tail that flicked around bestial hind legs. Small, slender fingers were tipped with razor claws. The monster wriggled them as the Strawhats watched, loosening her neck then cracking each joint one. By. One.

* * *

_That thing… what the heck?_

Vera peered around Sanji's back, more creeped out than she'd been in a long time_. It looks… just like __**ME**__!_

* * *

**…**

Jackal collapsed into his spinny chair and put his feet up on his desk. There wasn't much on it. He wished he had a high-tech wall of mounted security monitors like all the Navy HQs nowadays, but all he had was a few keyboards and a monitor from the stone age; a snarl of cables attached it into a complex, peeping system of relays and fuses only a handful of people in the world would know what to do with. That was his own handiwork, though, no thanks to the stingy Marine treasurers that managed his budget.

Humming a little ditty, he crammed a handful of popcorn into his mouth and pressed one of the buttons.

Miles away, Tora's ears twitched, hearing the quiet clicking of the camera lens in her collar as it turned on, focused, and adjusted to the lighting. A group of stunned faces stared back at Jackal from his computer screen.

He kicked his feet up. "Aww, it already started!"

"_Hey, somebody go talk to it_!" said a smiley kid wearing a straw hat onscreen, his cheery voice sounding raspy and metallic through the cheap speakers.

A freaky, speedo-wearing robot freak smacked the kid's shoulder, eliciting a hollow pinging sound from his metal body. "_Leave this to me! I'm a SUPAH conversation-starter_!"

The dark-haired man slipped his favorite iPod out of his desk drawer and scrolled through the playlists for a phat beat to drop this fight to: "_Oi! We come in peace! You got a leader? See, we heard this scientist guy was here and we wanted to talk to him. You know him? Helloooo_?"

Finally, he came across one. Jackal clicked it, stuck the otherworldly device in his boxers, and went back to eating his popcorn, waiting for the part where this blue-haired freak in front of Tora would make breakfast of himself.

**…**

The tigress stared at Franky blankly. She gave him a sniff.

"Hm." The cyborg turned and shrugged at the others. "Doesn't seem she can talk…"

The moment the shipwright turned his back, Tora's eyes flashed. She opened her jaws so wide they made a sickening _crack_ –!

Luffy sensed what she was about to do. "FRANKY, GET OUT OF THERE!" he screamed.

The cyborg jumped. "Eh?!"

Too late.

The tigress sank her teeth into the thick muscle between Franky's neck and shoulder with more than ten tons of pressure per square inch. Tora snapped his steel-reinforced clavicle like a toothpick, ripped it free, and shoved both hands inside, razor claws grasping at hot, pumping, bloody muscle with the excited, ravenous look in her eyes of a six-year old left alone with an entire bowl of raw cookie dough. Gore and sparks sprayed across the grass.

A blood-chilling roar of pain tore free of the shipwright's throat. "_**GRAAAAAA**_!"

"_Franky-san_!"

Brook had drawn Soul Solid in a flash. He ran towards the beast on the cyborg's back, even as Franky bellowed and attempted to dislodge at his assailant with all he had, but to no avail; the panting, drooling monster was wrist-deep in his body, stuck like a tick. A satanic look glowed on his skeletal features. "Let go of him _NOW_ –!"

The tigress's eyes flashed up.

Luffy sensed it coming again. "BROOK, NO!" he screamed.

Tora moved so fast it even blurred in the rubber man's vision; slamming both her forelegs straight into Brook's ribcage and tearing a handful of Franky's muscle from elbow-deep in his body in the same motion.

_Crunch_. _Rip. __**SLAM!**_

Brook went flying backwards into the wall. Franky fell to the deck. Meanwhile, the powerful muscles in the tigress's forelegs bunched, shuddered, and sent her soaring high above their heads. She landed on the very tip of the main mast, gripped the wood, and perched just so just above their pirate flag, clutching her ragged, dripping prize.

Franky's blood dripped onto their Jolly Roger. Luffy's eyes widened in outrage.

"_Franky_! _Brook_!" Chopper rushed over to their two downed nakama. Franky was somehow still conscious, but his wound was gushing blood at a rate that he wouldn't be conscious for long. Brook shuddered, gripping at his midsection. Several ribs had been cracked, maybe even broken.

**…**

"BRING DA PAAAAIN, TORA-CHI~!" Jackal squealed, bouncing up and down.

**…**

As if she could hear her master, Tora growled an affirmative. She grinned… and stuffed the piece of Franky's body past her scything jaws. She swallowed it whole, feeling a delicious amount of raw, fiery energy flood into her reserves of fighting power. The steel-coated bones had been a pain. But the strength from its owner's flesh had whetted her appetite.

Luffy went from furious to battle-mode in less than a second. "Everyone, she wants to _eat_ us!" he cried.

"_NO_ _SHIT_, _SHERLOCK_!" everyone yelled.

The captain raised a leg and slammed it back to the deck to enter Gear Second. His flesh ballooned, expanding his blood cells and hastening his heartbeat. "She's strong, too!" he told them, using Observation Haki. "_Really_ strong. But not as strong as all of us! If we fight together, we can beat her!"

"_RIGHT_!"

Everyone pulled out their weapons. Zoro's swords unsheathed. Nami's Climatact and Usopp's Kabuto came out. Robin crossed her arms, blue eyes flashing open.

Chopper transformed into Heavy Point and gently dragged Franky and Brook out of harm's way. "Stay here and stay alive!" he whispered to them, taping a thick pad of gauze to the gushing hole in their shipwright's shoulder (he wasn't quite sure how to deal with Brook's bones yet) and rushing back to the rest of the crew.

The cook turned forward again, lighting a cigarette. He tapped his shoe on the grass. _It might look like a lady, _he thought positively, _but that thing is most definitely _not_ a woman. Which means I'm in the clear to go all out!_

Vera stepped forward, hand on her pistol…

Suddenly, Sanji threw a hand out in front of her. "Vera-chan, stay back!" he commanded her. "You'll don't have a place in a fight like this. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

He gave her a pleading look. "Please. Just go hide somewhere."

* * *

Vera's mouth twisted like she'd eaten something foul. _Right. I __**forget**__._

But she took her hand off her weapon and backed off, a dark look in her eyes. _ I forget that's ALL I'm fricking __**good**__ for in this crew!_

* * *

The monstrous wildcat roared an earthshaking challenge down at the assembled Strawhats.

She leapt from the mast – and the battle began.

**…**

"Hmm… I'm recognizing that Jolly Roger…" Jackal realized. He bit his thumb, jittering spasmatically in his chair as sounds of violence began to pour from the old speakers, arousing him with the combination of the song's dirty lyrics. "Strawhat Pirates, right? I feel like I'm forgetting something about that crew! Hmmmm…!"

About half a second later, he waved a hand dismissively. "Eh, I'll figure it out later."

He went back to watching the fight, holding his fists up like a boxer and bouncing excitedly in his chair. It was starting to get good. These Strawhats were definitely a challenging battle. "Tora's gonna get some kinda power from eating these guys~!" he crowed. "Ooh! Right! Left! Oh, that one knocked _six_ of 'em flying! Oh shit, watch the kid! Jeee, too close! YOWCH! That gotta hurt! Jump! Duck! **OW**!"

He winced and hissed sympathetically as Tora's paw slammed a long-nosed guy in the throat. "Oooo, I _felt_ that one. Sock it to 'em, girl!"

**…**

The tigress lunged forward, pinning Usopp to the deck.

"No no no no no! HELP – guuuk…!" he tried to scream, but it was choked off by the merciless tightening of claws around his jugular. His bestial assailant licked at her fangs, long tail flicking in circles eagerly as she tested the texture of his flesh with one of her talons. The soft skin of Usopp's neck parted like a miracle.

Blood pooled in the small cut. The sniper's eyes became huge with fear.

"USOPP!" Vera shrieked. Without thinking, she snatched her pistol from its holster.

Zoro lunged. "_Damn_!"

**…**

Jackal leaned forward, twitching in anticipation. This was his favorite part!

Tora was like Urufu and Same with her quick, impatient kills. It wasn't always as fun as watching Kurokumo's "creative" techniques or Hyo's long, drawn-out "savoring" policy, but that _flash_ of her victim's eyes as their throats were ripped out?

He licked his lips. It was positively… _orgasmic_.

**…**

Inhaling deeply, Tora rolled back her eyes into her skull in pleasure. A thick rope of drool dangled from her jaws. This man was nowhere near the level of strength of the cyborg, but he was her favorite kind of human meal. He was afraid. She could smell it. Hot and fresh, trembling in terror, pungent with fear and confusion.

Vera cocked and aimed. Zoro gripped his sword.

Oblivious of both, the tigress decided to screw savoring, and lunged for the kill.

Just as Vera fired right for the skull, just as she'd been told never to do.

_**BAM**_.

However, she had – again – failed to compensate for the speed at which her target was moving. Instead of connecting with the right temple and punching through to the brain, as she'd intended, the bullet streaked across the distance, shattered the black, shiny lens set in the side of the monster's collar, and ricocheted off. Ping!

Right for Zoro's head.

**...**

The collar feed disappeared in a burst of static.

"_HEY_!" Jackal yelled in outrage, throwing his hands in the air. Popcorn went everywhere. "What happened to my throat-ripping?!" he demanded. "_Who shot my camera_?!"

**…**

_**Shlick**_**. **_**Whump**_**.**

Blood spattered the grass. The bullet buried itself in the wall behind it.

Every single Strawhat froze, eyes wide in disbelief. Vera stared, mouth open, pupils contracted with horror, head turning from the smoking barrel of her pistol… watching the swordsman slowly begin to fall towards the deck.

His hand slipped from his katana.

* * *

Her blood ran cold. _Zoro_. _Oh my god. Oh my god. Omigod omigod omigod omigod omigod omigod omigod –!_

* * *

_**WHAM!**_

Zoro's boot slammed onto the deck. His hand flew to his bleeding cheek, which had been sliced open by her skewed bullet. "WHAT THE HELL, CHIJO?!" he screamed, shaking a fist at her. "YOU TRYIN' TO _KILL_ ME?!"

Vera gasped a breath into lungs still paralyzed with terror. "_Huh_ –!"

Tora whirled. Her golden eyes locked onto the otherworlder. The tigress snarled, ears laid flat against her skull. It was hard to ignore being shot at. Food would have to wait. This was a threat. She roared and launched herself off the sharpshooter, the fur on her back standing straight up. Still shellshocked by the belief that – however temporary it had been – that she had killed Zoro, Vera was too slow to react. She didn't even notice the monster until it was almost on top of her. With their faces so similar, she was disarmed further. It was like looking into a carnival mirror from Hell.

She _screamed_.

Suddenly, a streak of blonde hair flew over her head.

A familiar growl met her ears. "_**MUTTON –**__!_"

Sanji's eyes flashed open. "_Shot._"

With a Bruce Lee-worthy impact Inner Fangirl had to replay three times in her head to get the full effect, Sanji met the great cat's teeth with his most powerful kick short of Diable Jambe, sending its golden body crashing through the opposite railing and into the bloody sea.

The blonde stood there for a long moment, hunched and breathing hard.

"I don't care how much you look like her, _monster_!" Sanji snarled protectively, even though the beast was gone. "I'm not letting you _touch_ her."

Behind him, all the blood drained from Vera's face.

Feeling her knees start to give, she covered her eyes with one hand, flailing at the ground with the other until she could sit in a controlled manner. Hearing her relieved exhale, Sanji whirled on her small form. "I told you to stay back, Vera-chan!" he cried, almost yelling at her in his distress. "You could have been killed! What can you _do_ against something like that?! What was going through your _mind_?!"

* * *

"…I don't know, Sensei," Vera whispered. "Gomen'na."

She curled up into a trembling ball against the railing. Shame rolled off of her in waves. _I had to be saved… _she realized. _**Again**__._

* * *

Sanji stood over her, his visible blue eye angry and upset.

Then, finally, he sighed and hunkered down, relenting. "All right, all right. I'm sorry, too," the cook murmured. "Please don't cry." He cocked his head, trying to get a look at her face. "Please?"

"Not crying!" Vera retorted, her voice muffled by her knees. "That was just scary…"

Although he was still upset, Sanji tried for a reassuring smile. "It's okay!" he told her, ruffling her hair. "That damn cat's gone now! And it won't be coming back."

Now that the danger was gone, seeing the cook's hand on her head, Luffy crossed his arms and stuck out his lower lip. _Stupid Sanji…!_

* * *

"WAAAAH! Zoro wa shukketsu shite iru _**mo**_!"

Vera raised her head from her knees at the sound of Chopper's voice, watching the little reindeer fuss over the slice in Zoro's cheek. "Sore wa nani mo nai! Ore o hana~tsu! Furanky to Brooku o tasuke ni iku!" the swordsman barked, trying unsuccessfully to ward off their incessant doctor. _It's nothing! Leave me alone! Go help Franky and Brook!_

Chopper remembered suddenly and darted off. "Ah, soka!"

Meanwhile, Zoro pinched the two flaps of his slice flesh together… and aimed a smoldering glare in Vera's direction. Like: _WHAT did I tell you?!_

The otherworlder's eyes narrowed, then filled with regret and looked down at Sanji's shoes.

_It wasn't the neko that scared me… _she thought silently.

* * *

**…**

"I CANNOT_ BELIEVE _THIS!" Jackal shrieked.

The long-haired, willowy individual picked a piece of popcorn off his lap and crunched it up, thoroughly disgruntled. "I mean, who shoots out someone's _camera_ lens?! I didn't even get to see how it ended!" he muttered crossly to himself. "That is not cool at _all_!" He bit his thumb pensively: "Maybe I should have sent in the kraken instead. Sure, I don't get as good a view, but…"

The coffee timer went off. _Ding_.

The dark-haired man perked up. "Oo!"

He hopped out of his spinny chair and shimmied over to the espresso machine. The sound of pouring coffee echoed throughout the house. All was tranquil. All was quiet. The air smelled of caffeine, chemical sugar, and fresh-brewed coffee beans. Just how he liked it.

Suddenly, a shadow raced past the entrance to his office.

Jackal straightened. "Hm?"

He looked. The hall was empty.

The mad scientist hesitated, wondering for a moment if he had just seen the figure of a kid hauling a giant sack past his office.

Then, he shrugged, decided it had been his imagination, and went back to knocking back shots of espresso. "Mmmmmm…" He poured himself another. "Coffee coffee coffee~!"

**.oOo.**

Usopp touched the band-aid on his neck.

"Damn, that was scary…!" he sobbed to himself, getting a little teary-eyed just at the memory.

Mikan leaves rustled soothingly over his head; the sharpshooter was on the lush, green aft deck, picking and choosing from his own gardens for the trip. The tigress attack had definitely shaken them. However, Nami had announced they would leave on schedule in about half an hour – and so there had been a mad scramble for rooms and fishing gear (Luffy still wanted breakfast, after all that!). She had told Franky and Brook that they didn't have to come if they didn't want to. The cyborg, although still a little pale after a few blood transfusions and some heavy narcotics, proclaimed he felt super and if Luffy was still going, he was, too! Brook, also, had announced cheerfully all he needed was some sleep and some calcium, then promptly guzzled their last bottle of milk and passed out in the galley. Chopper was having a good day; he had even managed to trap Zoro long enough to get a band-aid on his cheek. Admittedly, it'd been only twenty minutes since the attack, but somehow, knowledge that there was at least one less of those monsters in the world made the Strawhats feel more at ease. "Geez, if there are demons like that on this island I'm taking _all_ of my Pop Greens!" Usopp muttered to himself. "Let's see…"

He picked up a dark green one. "Devil."

He plopped it in the Devil pouch in his satchel and plucked another. "Take Javelin."

A reddish-pink one. "Rafflesi–"

"Oi."

Usopp turned. "Hm?"

Vera was standing _right_ behind him; the sharpshooter's heart leapt into his throat. "HOLY HELL!" he screamed, nearly falling on his back. "Don't _scare_ me like that!"

* * *

Vera blinked. "Oh."

She gazed down at the grass. "Gomen'nasai…" she apologized.

* * *

Usopp stared at her for a second as the semikami plucked a blade, stripped it into thirds, and began to braid it. Suddenly reading her body language, his eyebrows shot up. _Oh, damn, she's depressed!_

The sniper resisted the urge to smack himself in the face. _Well, of course she is. She just messed up __**really**__ bad with shooting Zoro…_

He glanced back at her. _But what does she want _me_ to do about it?_

Vera had almost finished braiding the blade of grass. Usopp scratched his head in puzzlement. He was running out of time –!

Then a lightbulb went off in his head. _Ah! That's it!_

* * *

"Oi, cannu oo do vee ah fahvoru?"

_Hey, can you do me a favor?_ Vera translated in her head. Her eyes flicked up eagerly. "Nn!" she replied, nodding.

* * *

Usopp shared a private moment of relief with himself. There had been one time like this when he misgauged the cause of her depression and gave her a job when she had just wanted a listening ear. She hadn't talked to him for an entire afternoon because of that. _But thank goodness she was depressed because she was feeling useless this time!_

He started to harvest all of his Pop Greens at once, sending the seeds rattling into the bottom of a wooden crate that happened to be sitting nearby. "I'm going to go sort these out on the main deck," he told her. "While I'm gone, can you keep watch?"

"Nn!"

"Great! _Oof_." Usopp picked up the box (it weighed more than he thought it would) and started to walk to the stairs. "Yell if you see anything."

* * *

"...Usoppu?"

He turned back. "Hm?"

Vera opened her mouth – then closed it, hesitating. "I…"

Her eyes darted down to her fingertips. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone!" she spat, like those words were something nasty in her mouth. "I just didn't think! I didn't aim right! Or that thing was too fast! I want to say it's not my fault but it _**is**_ and… oh, I don't even know anymore."

"Ah nu!"

Usopp smiled sunnily at her. "Vera goodu shottu. Juss nee puracutissu, ne?" _Vera good shot. Just need practice, ne?_

Vera stared at him.

Then, the semikami felt her lips curve up, spreading wider and wider until her grin felt as big as Luffy's. "Anata wa watashi no shin'yūda, Usoppu!" she told him. _You're my best friend, Usopp!_

She gave him a quick hug. "Arigatou. Hontou."

* * *

Usopp turned bright red. "H-Hey hey hey! W-What are you saying?!"

He cleared his throat noisily. "I-I mean… don't go getting all mushy on me now!" he blustered, sticking his nose up in the air. "Word will spread that your great Captain Usopp has gone soft! And we don't want that, do we?"

Vera gasped in mock horror. "Oh, heaven _forbid_!" she exclaimed.

"T-Then, go back to your post and I shall forget this ever happened!" the sharpshooter ordered.

The semikami gave him one last squeeze, then jumped to attention and saluted. "Yessir!"

"At ease!" he barked.

* * *

Vera laughed, watching him goose-step down the stairs. Even the tips of his ears were red. _Boys are so adorable when they blush~!_

She sighed happily and walked over to the railing, enjoying the wind shifting its cool, mellifluous fingers through her hair. She felt a little better now; even if it was a paltry, boring one like keeping watch, the fact that Usopp would entrust her with any job at all meant she still had his support. The girl wasn't sure if there was a line where the long-nosed sharpshooter's forgiveness stopped, but she always feared someday she'd accidentally cross it… and he wouldn't be there anymore. In this world, she had come to rely on Usopp a lot more than she would have liked to admit. He _was_ her best friend.

Vera's heart sank. Even when she did really stupid stuff, like almost shoot Zoro in the head.

She grit her teeth, smacking herself in the forehead over and over. _I swear, I am so _stupid_!_ _Usopp's the Clint Eastwood around here, not me! Quit giving yourself false bravado! _she admonished herself._ Know your limits._

_Limits…!_ Fangirl sighed, hanging listlessly over the lip of her desk. _Such a depressing concept. Especially for us!_

Suddenly, her voice of whimsicality flipped over, eyes lighting up. _But don't you just want to _totally_ lose control? You know… just once?!_

Inner Vange smashed that argument flat. _**NO!**_

Fangirl let out a pathetic noise and withered under her desk. Vera sighed listlessly as her voice of common sense floated to the outside, settling on her shoulder, speaking blunt truths into her ear as always. _Once will become twice, and twice will become a thousand times,_ Vange said. _It is good to know your limits. It makes you humble._

Vera groaned. _But…_

She gazed down at the deep, red water. _The Strawhats are such – limitless people,_ she admitted. _It's… It's just hard._

Inner Vange didn't have much to say to that; nothing she hadn't already said. Slowly, her sexy librarian glasses-wearing, stick-in-the-mud, and recently admirable figure of her older sister faded into the air. Vera, on the other hand, remained as solid, trapped by gravity, and in over her head as ever. The semikami sighed, running her hands through her hair in exhaustion.

_Grfnnnnraglll_.

Vera's mouth twisted in discomfort. Dang, she was hungry!

She shielded her eyes and glanced up at the sun, not wishing for the first time that the _Sunny_ had a _sun_dial in the gardens. What time was it, anyway…?

Suddenly, something moved in the corner of her eye.

Vera started… and looked back down at the water.

Huge, vibrating ripples were humming over the surface of the water, as if something positively _massive_ was swimming just under a meter or two of this thick, red –! Then she saw it. A long, dark shadow, just as it pulled back down away from the surface. Deep into this fathomless lake of blood.

_Was that…?_

Her eyes widened. **_A TENTACLE?!_**

"Holy crap!" Vera pushed away from the railing, wide-eyed as she turned. "Min'na, we got a –!" The semikami slammed into something hard. She yipped in surprise and reached for her pistol, but that was when she realized…

She was face-to-chin with Zoro.

Vera swallowed. "Problem…"

* * *

Zoro squinted down at her. "'_Problem_?'" he repeated in English. "What the hell are you babbling about?"

* * *

Vera moved to slip past him. "Nothing," she replied tersely. Maybe if she ignored him, he'd go away. "Doke." _Out of the way._

"Chigau."

_Wham_.

* * *

Zoro slammed a hand onto the railing to block the chijo's path. She stopped – staring at the muscular forearm between her and escape – then stared up at him.

The swordsman glared. "We need to talk."

* * *

Vera felt her hackles start to come up again. _Why does this guy have to make it so hard for me to __**avoid**__ him –?!_

Inner Vange popped up again. _It's not like he's done anything to you, _her big sister pointed out. Her elegant hand stroked Vera's hair, trying to soothe this bizarre mood swing. _You should hear what he has to say._

The semikami sighed. Vange was right as usual.

Vera crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the banister, directing her gaze away from Zoro. _But if he starts yelling at me, I am NOT going to be happy. The only person who can yell at me is you! _

"Nani o?" she asked the clouds, forcing her voice to a conversational level.

* * *

Zoro frowned at her surprisingly accepting tone. _She's actually gonna listen to me?_ he marveled. _The hell. That's new._

Still, her body language was pretty closed. Arms crossed, legs crossed, and no eye contact. The swordsman hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was even worth wasting his breath over or if it would just go through one ear and out the other, like usual… but after a moment he just exhaled. His golden earrings chimed. He'd already gone through the trouble of getting the chijo alone, right? He might as well say what he came to say.

"Look, I think giving you a weapon was a mistake."

The chijo's brows shot up. Her eyes widened, flashing with disbelief as Zoro continued. "I think you shouldn't have it while you're on the ship," he stated. "I get that Usopp gave it to you to protect yourself. But attacking?"

He tapped his bandaged cheekbone. "He's too nice a guy to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure we saw a couple minutes ago how well that works."

She didn't respond.

Zoro raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you getting _any_ of this, chijo?" he asked.

He jabbed a finger at her thigh holster, throwing in a couple of the only English words he knew. "'You.' 'Pistol.' 'Bad.'"

Vera's eyes narrowed spitefully at the horizon.

Zoro saw it. His brows furrowed in frustration; could he really not say _anything_ to her without her getting pissed at him?! "I'm trying to tell you you gotta be more careful in serious fights, idiot!" he told her, feeling the boiling beginnings of his own wrath start in his gut. "Recognize when we have it handled! Doing shit like that will just get you _and_ others killed –!"

She moved to the opening on his other side.

"Oi, where do you think you're going?!" Zoro demanded. He blocked that side too. "I'm not finished yet!"

* * *

Now trapped between both his arms, Vera hissed through her teeth and glowered at him. "Nanda yo?!" she demanded.

Meeting his intense glare made her body physically jump, as if she'd been tased. The girl swiftly brought her eyes up, focusing over Zoro's head instead – but it didn't help much. Her blood still simmered with enough residual heat to fry an egg on her face.

* * *

"Whaddya mean 'what?!'" Zoro growled.

A vein pulsed in the marimo's temple. Really?! She _still_ wouldn't look at him! "And will you _quit_ that?!" he yelled, reaching for her. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

* * *

Vera actually yelped as Zoro's fingers grabbed her jaw, forcing her to meet his gaze. "I-Itai! Hanashite, baka!" _**Too close, too close, too close, too close…!**_

* * *

"'_No_!'" he barked back at her in English.

Her fingernails scrabbled along his wrist, instinctively aiming for the sensitive spots the crew had taught her for being grabbed by enemies. And for some reason, that pissed Zoro off to hell and back.

"I am NOT your enemy here!" the swordsman snarled.

He knocked her hand aside. "_Listen_ _to_ _me_, _dammit_! You got lucky this time but I won't take the chance of one of the others getting killed because _you_ start trying to play tough! You have to remember, you're _NOT! _ _LIKE!_"

* * *

Hot blood churned in her veins. Every muscle in her body screamed with tension.

* * *

"_**US!**_"

Vera felt something snap.

She grabbed two fistfuls of his robe, dragged his head forward, and slammed her mouth onto his – cutting him off mid-sentence.

* * *

"…**!**"

For what felt like an eternity, Zoro was so dumbstruck he could do nothing but stand there and stare. There was no way he could do anything else; it felt like his brain stem had been severed, her lips pressed so vengefully against his own like that, with no hint of hesitation, remorse, or even attraction. For a long, electric second, she remained stiff – rock hard with anger and frustration – then, to Zoro's surprise, he felt her muscles actually… _relax_. Her lips parted slightly. She sighed into his mouth. Her fists loosened, fingernails trailing down his front like they'd lost all their will to fight.

Zoro, however, felt like he'd just been punched in the gut.

The swordsman regained the ability to move his limbs all at once and immediately pushed himself away from Vera, violently breaking the contact as he retreated all the way across the aft deck – appalled and repulsed by what she had just done to him. "Did you _seriously_ just – guh!"

He furiously wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "What the hell is _wrong_ with you?!" he yelled at her.

Back against the railing, Vera stared at him. Her breast fluttered with fast, shallow gasps; heart beating faster than a hummingbird's. Her cheeks were mantled in shameful pink… but every line of her body seemed to be etched with _relief_.

Then, all at once she seemed to remember she was angry.

Her hackles were up again in an instant, and the blush transformed from pink to a blotchy, furious red. Something snapped in the atmosphere. Crackles of volcanic thunder boomed from the dark blue sky. The wind roared sporadically, sending the otherworlder's long hair fluttering every which way in the small cyclone of wrath that surrounded her. And something weird was going on with her eyes…!

* * *

"You think I don't already _know_ I messed up?!" Vera shrieked at him. "I know I'm _stupid_ and _temperamental_ and _hotheaded _and you hate my guts and I hold all of you back and I _know all that frickin' crap_! But don't give a person power just to take it away! I'll use _my_ gun how _I _see fit! SO _SHUT UP ABOUT IT _AND PISS OFF!"

* * *

Just as suddenly as the wind had come, it left. The sky quieted.

And she ran from the gardens.

**…**

Usopp was elbow-deep in his pop green box when he heard Vera's familiar footfalls rattle down the steps. "Did you see something?"

He started and sat up when his friend raced straight past him, across the deck, and through a door so fast he couldn't even see her expression. "O-Oi! What's wrong?!" he called after her in English. "_Hey_!"

_SLAM!_

Usopp was taken aback. "Sheesh, what's with her?" he muttered, seamlessly switching back to Japanese.

The sniper went back to organizing his seeds, and had only dropped three more into his satchel when he heard another, heavier, slower set of footsteps coming down the stairs. He identified the pod in his hand as a Devil, tucked it in the appropriate pouch, and turned. "So, how did _that_ go, Zoro?" he drawled, smiling; he was still in a good mood from Vera calling him her best friend. "Cuz I'm pretty sure a couple people back in East _Blue_ heard that conversation! Still, what was with that weird pause in the middle of –?"

Usopp nearly did a somersault backward when he saw the swordsman. "HOLY HELL!"

Zoro was white as a ghost. A sheen of cold, unhealthy sweat gleamed on his face and chest, he was breathing like he'd just run a hundred miles, and gripping at the rail like it was the only thing keeping him from falling flat on his face. Flailing his arms, the sharpshooter managed to regain his balance. "Damn! Don't scare me like that, bastard!" he yelled, slapping his palms frantically on the grass. "What happened to you?!"

The swordsman paused.

Then he looked up, glancing at him with soulless eyes.

Usopp felt a chill rake its claws up his back. "Jeeeee!" he cringed.

He watched hesitantly as the swordsman moved from the bottom of the stairs to the galley doors. "Hey…" he called. "Seriously, are you okay? Where are you going?"

Zoro gripped the handle. "To boil my face."

Then he'd pushed through, and he was gone.

_Slam._

* * *

Usopp blinked, stunned. "Whaaaaaaat?" he whispered in English.

* * *

The thing about boiling his face? Yeah, that had been a lie.

But knowing the long-nose, Zoro knew if he had told him the truth – Usopp would have followed him. He would have called Chopper. Asked questions. The man staggered down the hall to the men's quarters and opened the door… hoping more than anything that none of the other guys were in there, because he couldn't even see properly anymore. He didn't know if he could manage to hold off this blackness tearing at the edges of his vision for much longer. All he knew was he needed to lie down. _Fast._

He closed the door. He took off his katana, laid them against the wall, and suddenly his brain did a backflip in his skull.

The swordsman swayed violently, clamping his hands down over his eyes. _What did she just __**do**__ to me…?_

Zoro stood there – motionless, with his head in his hands – as he waited for the feeling like nauseous pain to subside. For what felt like hours, the only sound in the room was that of his labored breathing. Time just seemed suddenly such a difficult concept to grasp.

Finally it passed. Slowly, carefully… he moved to go to his bed.

And without warning, his knees buckled suddenly out from under him. Zoro stifled a surprised noise and grabbed a hold of the side of his bunk, hauling himself back up as best he could; his other hand came away from his head, scrabbling at his throat of its own accord. Finally, the swordsman found his pulse and stiffened. Just as he thought.

His heart was thrumming. A fast, fleeting rhythm he hadn't felt in a long… a _long_ time. Fear.

He grit his teeth, swallowing the unwanted, alien force sucking at his consciousness, and sat down on his bunk.

The blackness closed in suddenly and without permission. The invincible marimo folded like a wet cloth, landing heavily onto his pillow, where – to anyone who might happen upon his motionless form – would think he was just taking a nap. A foreboding, chilly wind whistled through the porthole, rustling his pale green hair.

He did not get up.

**…**

Suddenly, outside – where the Sunny's anchor cast ripples on the water – a hand shot out of the thick red slime.

Tora hauled herself up and molded the cartilage of her broken nose back into place, hissing in pain, snarling vengeance on full human lips. The tigress was changing form. Her topical fur had shrunken into a smooth, russet complexion, leaving her face completely that of a young teenage woman. Soon, the power she had absorbed from eating that bit of the shipwright would reach full transfer.

Then, she'd get back on that ship and destroy them _all_.

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Ooooooooh snap. ON SO MANY LEVELS. And y****es. Yes, I AM just that evil to you, my ducklings. ^3^**


	24. Death to Apologies

**This chappie was originally supposed to be merged with the next one, but I knew you guys were excited to know what happened after the last one! Also, I found an excellent cliffy opportunity and I couldn't let it pass by. Lol, I'm so mean to you guys! XD **

**Still, enjoy your Monday update, my ducklings~!**

* * *

**Chapter 24:**

**Death to Apologies**

Vera darted into her room, slammed the door, took a flying leap onto her bed, and screamed bloody murder into her pillow until her lungs were sore. But she still didn't feel satisfied, so she punched her covers once – as hard as she could – then flipped over on her back to glower at the ceiling.

She could only manage to stay still for a moment.

Then, the girl sat up, furiously grabbing Chibi Zoro and hurling the plushie under the bed. It slid along the floor, smacked lightly against the back wall, and flopped onto its side; Vera collapsed back to her bed, covering her face with her hands and letting out a high-pitched keen, drumming her heels against the floorboards like a five-year old having a tantrum. Her head practically steamed with fury and embarrassment.

"Graaaaaaah… NAZE?!" she yelled at the ceiling. "Why?!"

Inner Vange and Fangirl popped up, both in the extremities of their respective majors. _**"WHY?!"**_ her big sister shrieked. The cerebral-looking woman looked like she was about to pop a blood vessel. _I think a more appropriate question is "what!" __**WHAT**__ possessed you to __**plant **__**one**__ on that overly-muscled jarhead __**dropout**__?!_

Fangirl noodled around in a total fanspasm, hands pressed to her burning cheeks. _I kissed Roronoa Zorooooo~!_ she sang. _And I'm not deaaaaaad~!_

Vange pulled out a Japanese katana, eyes glinting. _That's it. You die._

"WILL YOU FRICKIN' SHUT UP FOR FIVE FRICKIN' SECONDS?!" Vera bellowed, sitting up. "I CAN'T _THINK_ WITH ALL THIS CRAP IN MY HEAD!"

They disappeared.

"_Thank_ you!" she huffed.

The semikami lay back down, sighing heavily and rubbing circles into her forehead. Geez… this was a mess. She didn't even understand why she'd done it! Kissed Zoro, that is. The baka kenshi told her that he didn't trust her with her weapon, for crying out loud! Did you see her telling him what to do with his weapons?! No! But, he'd gotten too close, grabbed her, and her body had just – _lunged_ forward. Vera's mind was still scrambled, admittedly, but she couldn't offer a single plausible explanation for her actions. Maybe a month or two ago she would have blamed Fangirl, shallow as that was…

Vera pulled her braid loose and shook it out, raking her fingers sheepishly through her hair. The truth was, her view of the marimo had changed too much in the weeks since Zoro had become her "bodyguard" against Barker's drones. That wasn't it.

Vera huffed in frustration. So what _was_ it?

* * *

"Hmmmm…"

Outside in the hall, Usopp, Luffy, and Chopper pressed their ears against Vera's door. They had all heard the – uh, heated conversation – between their semikami and their swordsman. In all earnesty, other than the unusual volume to which Vera reached this time it wasn't so horribly out of the ordinary; lately, her verbal battles with Zoro had reached an impressive count, engaged almost as often as arguments between him and Sanji. But after that big explosion at the end, most of them had expected her to _keep_ yelling at him, not run off like that. And what had been with that weird pause in the middle? None of them could figure it out – especially with the way Zoro looked afterwards. So, they had taken a much-needed break from their frantic packing (or fishing) to come see what was wrong.

Usopp swallowed. "She was screaming and throwing stuff around a minute ago…" he muttered nervously. "But now I can't hear anything."

Chopper took his velvet ear off the door and glanced up at him. "Maybe we should come back another time?"

The long-nosed sharpshooter nodded emphatically; he still hadn't forgotten how pale and empty-eyed Zoro had been coming back from this argument. "Sounds good to me!" he exclaimed. He and Chopper started to walk away. "Let's go."

Luffy, however, didn't budge from his spot. "Hold up!"

Usopp let out a terrified squeak as a long, rubbery arm grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him back. "Nooooo!" he squealed, getting yanked fast to his captain's side. "Lemme _go_! Whaddaya _want_?!"

The rubber man peered curiously at him. "What do you usually do when she's upset?" he asked.

"It depends! Ask what's wrong, give a listening ear, but sometimes she just honestly wants to be left alone –!"

Usopp glared at Luffy uncertainly. "…Wait, why?"

The strawhatted captain blinked – then directed his gaze back to the door. "You're going in there," he replied.

"EEEEEEH?! Why me?! Can't _you_ do it?! You're the one who likes her!"

"What does that have to do with it?"

The sniper groaned silently at the clueless look on Luffy's face. Trying to explain to their clueless captain the difference between like and _like_-like was like trying to teach a brick wall how to fly. "I still don't speak English that good!" Luffy went on. "And you're her friend! She'll talk to _you_."

Usopp pursed his lips. "Well, sure, but –!"

Luffy grinned. "Shishishishi! Then it's decided!"

The boy pulled the stammering sharpshooter to his feet and pushed him at Vera's door. "Go talk to her! Find out what happened! And cheer her up, please. Captain's orders!"

Chopper's eyes lit up. "You're going in? Ooooo, you're so brave~!"

"But _Luffyyyyy_ –!" Usopp tried to protest, turning around… but trailed off when he saw the look of childish awe on Chopper's face and the one of utter, mule-stubborn confidence on Luffy's. He gasped at them for a second.

Then closed his mouth and glared. "'Aye aye, _captain_,'" he drawled in English, turning the knob to Vera's door.

Luffy nodded approvingly. "That's the spirit!"

Usopp saluted mockingly – a foul look on his face – and went inside, shutting the door behind him.

_Geez!_ the sniper thought, scratching his head as he turned towards her bed. _I hate it when Luffy gets all _like_-like protective and doesn't even realize it. It's annoying… but okay, how am I gonna say this?_

He opened his eyes. Vera wasn't on her bed.

Usopp blinked, discombobulated. He looked around the room for his friend. "Hah? Where'd she go?"

* * *

"You got lice or something?" Vera asked.

* * *

Usopp squeaked and whirled to see the semikami, watching him neutrally from her spot in the shade behind the door. "Oh! Ha ha ha…"

He glanced at her nervously. "So, uh, you heard all that?"

Vera pushed herself off the wall. "Little hard not hear."

She felt Usopp's eyes on her back as she crossed the room, plopped down on her bed, and brought up her legs to sit criss-cross on top of the covers. She patted the spot next to her. Usopp released a resigned breath through his nostrils and went to sit with her. Looks like she wanted to talk after all. But, suddenly, just as he was making himself comfortable…

The sniper noticed an anomaly in the room. The three plushies of Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji that she always kept in their place of honor on a shelf above her bed – only two were there.

The little Zoro was missing.

Usopp raised an eyebrow at that, but then shifted his attention back to Vera. "'What's up?'" he asked in clumsy English.

* * *

"Whassuppu?" Vera repeated incredulously. "Whassuppu?! I'll tell you whassuppu…"

Usopp leaned in. "Nani nani?"

One look at her best friend's face was enough to make Vera hesitate. She stared, wide-eyed, down at her crumpled bedclothes; how was he going to react to this? Would this one finally cross the line of his tolerance?! But… she had told him _everything_ up until now. It was what best friends did. And she would never know unless she said it.

So. She just said it.

* * *

Usopp blinked.

Then…

He started laughing his butt off. "HA HA HA! That's funny!" the sniper exclaimed. He stuck a pinkie into his ear canal, trying to clear it of any possible degree. "I must have heard you wrong or mistranslated or something, 'cause I could have sworn you just said that you _kissed_ Zoro!"

Usopp picked a bit of wax from his ear. "Ah, that's better!"

He flicked it at the floor and turned back to Vera, smiling patiently. Waiting for her to repeat what she really said. But, then, the semikami did the worst thing possible in this situation.

She bit her lip and avoided his eyes.

Usopp stared at her, his tiny smile frozen on his face. "…Really?"

Like a criminal confessing to an unspeakable crime, she very. Slowly. Nodded. A strange noise rasped between Usopp's smiling lips. Tiny beads of sweat started to break out on his forehead. He took a slow, steady breath…

"_**WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!**_"

The force of Usopp's cry nearly blew down the door. Luffy and Chopper were knocked onto their behinds, ears ringing from the sheer volume of the sharpshooter's surprise.

"What the_ hell…_?!" the captain exclaimed, incredulously slamming his hat back onto his head.

The Strawhat doctor sprung to his hooves. "Usopp, what happened?!" he called.

There was a long moment of silence.

Luffy and Chopper stared at the door, waiting…

Then, the doorknob turned.

It opened just a crack and Usopp poked his head out, looking perfectly composed. "Nothing at all. Geez, don't get so worked up!" the long-nosed sniper admonished them, seeming almost exasperated but for the slightly strained note in his voice. He made a face at them and made a shooing motion at them. "Now go away, nothing to see here."

He pulled his head back in and shut the door. _Click._

Luffy and Chopper blinked in surprise. They looked at each other. But finally – after a moment of silent deliberation – they wandered hesitantly back down the hall, leaving with even more questions than they'd come down here with.

* * *

Usopp pressed his ear against the door. He waited until their footsteps disappeared completely… then he whirled on Vera. "NANIIIII?!" he shrieked at the shamed, blushing semikami. "_Zoro_ ni _kisuwoshita_?! How yu no _deadu_?!"

Vera was having just as much of a panic attack. "I dunno, alright?!"

They both screamed at the ceiling. "_RIIYAAAAAAAAAA_!"

* * *

Usopp recovered all at once. "Wait, THAT was what that pause was?!" He leapt back onto the bed, grabbing Vera's shoulder and shaking her back and forth. "You cut him off with your _lips_?!" he demanded. "What a weird way to shut someone up! Why'd you do it?!"

"I don't know…!" she moaned.

"You must've had _some_ reason!"

"Told you, I don't _know_! Leggo!"

Usopp realized he was still shaking her like a rag doll. "Ah."

The sniper let go. The semikami girl immediately buried her burning face in her hands again. "I don't _know_…" she whispered helplessly into her palms, now on the verge of tears. "I really _don't_…!"

Usopp slapped himself in the face at the sheer stupidity of his poor friend – then sighed and relented, running his fingers through his hair as he tried to see any kind of up side to this situation. _Vera's really got herself in some deep shit this time –! _he groaned internally.

* * *

Vera sniffed, slowly waiting for the tears to dissolve in her eyes.

When she was out of the danger zone, the brunette glanced up at Usopp. "…Anata okotteru?" she asked. _Are you mad?_

* * *

The sniper took his hand off his head, raising an incredulous eyebrow at her. "Me? Mad? About what?" he replied. His hand smacked back into his lap; he sighed, thinking of another dilemma. _The only one who might be mad about this is Luffy… _

Usopp's jaw dropped. _**OH SHOOT, LUFFY!**_

"Well, _damn_!" the sniper groaned, grabbing his head and yelling at the ceiling. "You doing _that_ out of the blue to _Zoro_?! Out of anyone you coulda done it to! Oh, we're all in for it now. How the hell is he gonna _react_ to this…?"

* * *

Vera rubbed her dry eyes out of habit, watching her best friend spazz out on the other half of her bed for a minute… then, a strange bubble of laughter fluttered up from her stomach and burst.

She giggled quietly, relieved. _Not sure what "he" Usopp's talking about… but at least he's not mad. Yogata –!_

"Shimata, Zoro mo!" Usopp realized all at once.

He stared wide-eyed at Vera. "How Zoro? How he actu?!"

The otherworlder girl's bittersweet smile twisted into a wry one. "Ha! He looked like I'd punched him in the nuts," she replied. "Now he's probably gonna be like…"

Vera pushed back the hair from her face and adopted a grouchy, Zoro-esque expression. "_Uuuuu_, kuso chijo!" the girl growled in an exaggeratedly brusque, manlike voice. She waved her other hand in a shoo-shoo guesture. "Get away! You're a _disease_!"

She broke character, giggling like a madwoman. "Sono yōna nani ka~!" _Something like that!_

* * *

"THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER!" Usopp shrieked. "NOR A TIME FOR IMPRESSIONS! No matter how good they are…"

The sharpshooter's tone seemed to startle Vera. "Eh?"

Usopp heaved an exhausted sigh, propping his chin in his hands. "Look…" he began, interjecting English words wherever he could. "Zoro… he's not made out of stone. And I think sometimes you forget that. I'll admit, I don't know what goes on his that brain of his…"

_**Usopp nearly did a somersault backward when he saw the swordsman. "HOLY HELL!"**_

_**Zoro was white as a ghost. A sheen of cold, unhealthy sweat gleamed on his face and chest, he was breathing like he'd just run a hundred miles, and gripping at the rail like it was the only thing keeping him from falling flat on his face. Flailing his arms, the sharpshooter managed to regain his balance. "Damn! Don't scare me like that, bastard!" Usopp yelled, slapping his palms frantically on the grass. "What happened to you?!" **_

_**The swordsman paused.**_

_**Then he looked up, glancing at him with soulless eyes. **_

Usopp's face got serious. "But I think he was seriously affected by this, some way or another. You should apologize to him."

* * *

Vera raised an eyebrow at him. "Pff! Zoro? No way."

The sniper blinked, stunned. "Aaaaah?"

The brunette scowled at her friend. "Name one thing that makes Zoro human, other than his appearance," she challenged the sniper in English. "He can lift _houses_ on his shoulders. He can bleed _gallons_ and shrug it off like a papercut. He uses _three_ swords when a normal person can barely use _one_! He trains, he fights, he drinks, he sleeps, repeat. He doesn't cry. He doesn't laugh. He has no emotions, he feels _nothing_! So why would _this_ situation be any different?! Apologize? HA! Screw that!"

Usopp was appalled. "Vera…!"

Vera fell back against her headboard with a sharp knock. She shrugged off the pain in her skull, glaring up at the ceiling. "You of all people should be able to sympathize with me, Usopp," she muttered. "Trailing behind some Mugiwara monster, unable to do anything for yourself…"

**…**

* * *

Zoro's eye flew open.

The Santoryuu swordsman gasped and bolted upright, heart drumming in his chest. Immediately, an overwhelming dizziness crushed down on him and he nearly collapsed again. He grabbed the side of his bed, fist twisting in the sheets as he fought to stay upright.

Suddenly, the fabric under his fingers shifted, gaining a different texture.

Zoro blinked past his hand. "Hm?"

He glanced down, wondering if his brain was playing tricks on him. Because he would've sworn it felt like he was holding something with _scales_…

_**HISSSSS!**_

The swordsman yelped when he saw that he was holding in his fist what his _eye_ told him was a six-foot desert _cobra_. The big snake had its hood fully extended. Baring fangs dripping with clear beads of venom, it hissed violently and lunged for his hand –!

Zoro's eye narrowed. He got a better grip on the snake, whipping it to the side in a motion that would break its neck before it could bite him…!

When suddenly, the cobra dissolved into sand.

The swordsman blinked, stunned as the tiny grains fell through his fingers. "What the –?"

_Hisssssssssssss…_

Zoro looked around, and jumped again when he saw that the entire floor of the men's quarters was covered with writhing, hissing snakes – asps, cobras, rattlesnakes, copperheads, all slithering over and under each over in a massive, living nest of scales, fangs, and reptilian flesh. All at once, it all blurred. The swordsman swayed; he pressed his hand harder into his face, overtaken by another bout of dizziness.

Suddenly, in the corner of this smearing vision, Zoro noticed a few snakes blink out of existence.

He blinked once – hard – and looked again. The nest of poisonous reptiles refocused… but if he squinted, he could see that some of the creatures were blurry around the edges, like the mirage in a desert.

_Am I… seeing things?_

Zoro looked at the snakes, then at his hands.

They closed into fists. There was only one way to find out.

Slowly, the swordsman lowered his dominant hand down… towards… the floor…

_HISSSS! _

An asp lunged for his fingers, so fast it was a blur. But Zoro was faster. He grabbed the thin black snake around the head – trapping its jaws closed – and slammed it against the wall. This one exploded into pale grey smoke. The swordsman watched cautiously, until the mist vanished. It did not dissipate into the air. It straight up _vanished_.

He flexed his tingling fingers through his narrowed eye, finally deciding it was an illusion. He glared down at the rest of the snakes.

That meant he_ was _seeingthings…!

Warding off another bout of dizziness, Zoro braced his feet on the floor, pushed up, and began to walk to the door – wincing when more than a few sets of fangs sank into his ankles – but managing make his way down the hall, leaning heavily on the reassuring solidness of the wall. The snakes that had bit him trailed along behind his steps like untied shoelaces as he walked unsteadily into the bathroom. Zoro bent over the sink, panting in pain and nausea…

The swordsman glanced down at his poisonous passengers. As he watched, they were beginning to dissolve into nothing… grains of sand and flakes of scales.

_Did she do this to me, too? _Zoro wondered distantly.

_**Back against the railing, the chijo stared at him. Her breast fluttered with fast, shallow gasps; heart beating faster than a hummingbird's. Her cheeks were mantled in shameful pink… but every line of her body seemed to be etched with relief.**_

_**Then, all at once she seemed to remember she was angry.**_

_**Her hackles were up again in an instant, and the blush transformed from pink to a blotchy, furious red. Something snapped in the atmosphere. Crackles of volcanic thunder boomed from the dark blue sky. The wind roared sporadically, sending the otherworlder's long hair fluttering every which way in the small cyclone of wrath that surrounded her. And something weird was going on with her eyes…!**_

_When she did that…?_

He turned on the cold faucet full blast, splashing water on his face. Almost immediately, the pressure on his ankles disappeared. His head cleared.

The marimo paused to breathe… then scooped another handful of icy water onto his face. Another went over his head, and a few more to his belly. Refreshed and dripping wet, Zoro slicked back his hair and braced his hands on either side of the sink, allowing himself a bracing breath.

He glanced up at his reflection. A surly, green-haired man with one piercing, emerald black eye glared back at him.

Zoro glanced down at the mouth. And nearly punched the mirror.

A tic mark pulsed in the man's temple; the sound of heavy breathing filled the bathroom, echoing furiously off the tiled walls as the swordsman struggled to keep the sudden urge to go grab his swords and slice an enemy into bite-sized _pieces_ under control. Why had this happened?! _Why the hell had this HAPPENED_?! First the chijo starts ignoring him, then she starts getting hostile, and then she _kisses_ him? What was wrong with her?! What was going on in that _otherworlder's_ damn _head_?! Zoro hated things he couldn't understand, but usually the solution was simple – to cut them up – and there was no way he could, or _would_, do that in this situation.

Zoro finally got himself under control. His breathing slowed back to a normal rate.

Slowly, deliberately, he forced himself to think back for what felt like the umpteenth time in the last three or four days. To the last time he recalled Rosethorne Vera acting like her normal self… just before all this crap with the chijo had begun.

_**The swordsman glared crossly at the sky. "Damn, remind me why I was dragged into this?!"**_

* * *

_**Vera slapped at him playfully. "Awww, marimo! Lighten up a little! Arigatou for coming."**_

* * *

_**She went back to sifting through her shopping bag, checking up on the dinner ingredients she'd just bought. "But you can't understand their concern. You gotta remember, I'm not like you guys! With fighting and whatnot."**_

_** Zoro growled. "Damn straight, you aren't," he muttered. "If you were, you could've done this shitty chore on your own."**_

_** The sun was setting in the west, sending ruby javelins of light over Isle 3-J in the Black Nautilus Keys, about six days and seven islands before they'd arrived on Dead End. A pure, salty breeze blew through the emptying streets; it was late, so the citizens were clearing out, going home after a long work day… but they moved even more quickly at the sight of "Pirate Hunter" Roronoa Zoro and "Live One" Rosethorne Vera strolling through downtown. Zoro was in a particularly bad mood – on top of capturing the Barker boss only to find it was a decoy, after all the chaos the shitty cook had discovered he was short on ingredients for dinner. So, as her unofficial bodyguard, Zoro had been sent out with the chijo protégé to pick up a few things before the market closed. The swordsman had protested, but then the sea witch had brought his debt into it, then Luffy got involved (everyone knew how the captain was with dinner). And so here he was.**_

_** Vera nodded good-naturedly. The chijo was surprisingly mellow tonight. "True."**_

_** She closed the bag and continued down the street. "Well, relax. We almost back to Sunny. Just don't get lost, ne?" she chuckled clumsily in their language.**_

_** "Shut up, you," Zoro groaned. **_

_**He yawned, putting his hands behind his head; he could feel her lecherous gaze on the exposed muscles of his torso, but he was almost completely used to her chijo-tendencies by now. Admittedly, Zoro's guard was lower than usual… but it wasn't like this was the first time he'd been out with her alone on "bodyguard duty." And after the Barker Syndicate in this town had all been defeated or driven off, they'd have to be idiots to try attacking again, right?**_

_** At least, that's what he had thought.**_

_** That was why he didn't sense the dart coming until it was too late to stop it.**_

* * *

_**There was a sharp bite of pain on her neck. Vera blinked and went to smack it – thinking it was a mosquito – but then her fingers met a short, metallic cylinder.**_

_** She plucked it out. Tranquilizer dart.**_

"**CRAP**_**."**_

_**Her legs folded under her, and she collapsed.**_

* * *

_**Zoro lunged to catch her. "Shit!"**_

_** His arms snagged her around the waist, her long hair falling down around his broad shoulders as the swordsman yanked her to his chest; trying to make the chijo's already-slender frame less of a target. He pushed past her curls to feel her pulse. She was breathing hard, her eyes were hazy and unfocused… but she was still breathing, and her heartbeat was steady. **_

**A muscle relaxant, **_**Zoro thought. **_**Or poison.**

_**Her body started to shake in his grip. **_**Aw, shit! Don't be poison, please don't be poison.**

_**But Zoro held down his panic with practiced ease – panic would do him no good – and cast his gaze about for the bastard who'd shot her. They'd learned long ago that semikami powers negated Observation Haki as well; he'd have to do this by line of sight. "Well this is great!" the swordsman rumbled deep in his chest, unable to sense that something else was coming. "Just frickin' great –!"**_

**THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD.**

* * *

_**Vera blinked, confused in the haze that clouded her mind. **_**What was that…?**

* * *

_**Five arrows had sprouted from Zoro's back. **_

_**Normally, he might have been able to remain standing, but affected by Vera's power, the people of this world were much more vulnerable to the trials of the flesh – pain, pleasure, et cetera. The swordsman gasped and fell to his knees, fighting unconsciousness. Red, writhing blackness pulsed at the edges of his vision. He choked, his breath coming harsher and more erratic, trying not to cry out as he heard three Woofer Captains step out from the shadows.**_

_**Zoro turned his head towards them. "Attacking from behind –!" he snarled, shaking with pain and fury. "Cowards –!"**_

_**One spoke into a Transponder Snail. "Good job, the Pirate Hunter's down."**_

_**Another propped his hands on his hips, sounding frustrated. "He's still not letting go of the girl, though!"**_

_**The first hung up. "Just one of those arrowtips is coated with enough poison to kill a normal man in five minutes," he replied. "But a beast is most dangerous when it's cornered. Just wait him out."**_

_**Zoro had shuddered, feeling blood pool in the back of his throat. They'd shot **_**poisoned****arrows**_** at him!**_

**Typical bounty hunter thinking –!**_** he'd thought, coughing. **_**Kill the protector, then take the prize –!**

* * *

_**The semikami's small, soft hand reached up to touch his trembling chest. "Zoro…?"**_

* * *

**...**

Back in the present, Vera exhaled through her nostrils and closed her eyes. What had happened next, she would never forget, even through the haze of the drug she had been under.

"To not be able to do _anything_ with your own power…" she whispered, only half talking to Usopp now.

**…**

Back in the present, Zoro exhaled through his nostrils and closed his eyes against the man in the mirror. Even now, he wasn't sure what had come over him – in that moment that she'd said his name, in that voice he'd heard a thousand and one times. Poisoned and in agony, all he'd known was that he could not let those cowardly bastards have their nakama. He _would_ not. He was the first mate of the Strawhat Pirates.

That was his job. To protect.

_**Remembering the limits of her power, Zoro grit his teeth and – summoning his remaining strength – gripped Vera's vest and shoved her away from him; she slid limply across the cobblestones. Her back hit the wall with a soft **_**thump**_**. She lay there, gazing at him through hazy, heavy-lidded eyes.**_

_**His assaulters balked and lunged. "He's doing something, get him!"**_

_**One of them threw his hands in front of them. "Stay back!" he commanded, glancing back at Zoro. "He hasn't got long! Just wait."**_

_**The marimo swordsman collapsed to all fours, hacking blood onto the street. It was a vulnerable position, but he stayed where he was, waiting for the semikami's power to follow after its master. For a scary moment or two, nothing changed. But then… slowly, he felt strength begin to ebb back into his limbs. His limits seemed to tremble and push forward; the pain did not lessen, but suddenly he could handle it.**_

_**Zoro braced himself.**_

_**Then, gauging his balance, he got to his feet. "Scars on the back are a swordsman's shame…" he whispered.**_

_**The Woofer Captains backed up. "Impossible –!"**_

_**The green-haired man turned around, eyes shadowed as he viewed their horrified expressions. "When you attacked me from behind –!"**_

_**He drew his swords. **_

"_**You better have been ready to DIE!" Zoro snarled, and lunged forward.**_

_**It was a short fight. But even in the burn of the poison and the heat of battle, Zoro never lost awareness of the slender, delicate body that lay behind him – feeling her eyes watching his back through their passive haze. Afterwards, he had sheathed his swords, walked back to her, gathered up her passive frame in his arms, and somehow managed to get back to the ship. He remembered someone screaming, everyone demanding to know what happened, Chopper gently prying his hands loose from the chijo and taking her to the infirmary, then coming back to freak out over his wounds. The next hour or two was a blur of talking, cursing, and antiseptic. Zoro had remembered a knot uncoil in his stomach when Chopper had assured him Vera had only been hit with a muscle relaxant, and the arrow wounds would heal without a scar. He'd done his evening workout, then gone to bed in an unexplainable daze.**_

_**But all throughout that, the swordsman could have sworn… that girl's eyes never left him the entire time. He never had figured out the meaning behind that look. That ambivalent, shamed look.**_

* * *

**...**

Vera sighed and opened her eyes back to the sniper's stunned expression.

"I don't think even you were ever in a situation like that. Even two years ago," she said bitterly. "It took _one_ freaking _dart_ to put me out of commission. I could only lay there like a rag doll from a prick to the neck while Roronoa Zoro – with _five poisoned arrows_ in his _back_ – took down three hulking bounty hunters, then walked over and carried me _bridal-style_ back to the Sunny! It was humbling. And it was _humiliating_!"

The semikami raised her head. She raked both hands through her hair, her heart growing cold and stonelike in a defensive reaction against the memory. "It really made me realize first-hand the gap between you guys and me," she admitted, actually saying it aloud for the first time. "I guess I'm wondering… how can we be nakama if I do absolutely _**nothing**_ to contribute to this crew?! My heart keeps telling me it's because we're friends, but…"

Vera gazed emptily at the picture of her family on the wall. "My brain and my pride are telling me something different…"

* * *

Usopp opened his mouth – then closed it – his own memories rising to the surface.

"_**I've been thinking about this for a while. To be honest, I don't think I can keep up with your monstrous strength. Like today, I can't even watch over money. I'll just keep causing you guys trouble."**_

_**Two years ago, on the Going Merry, Usopp stood with some difficulty – the injuries he'd suffered at the hands of the Franky Family sending complaints rampant up his spine – and turned to face his captain. "You don't need weak friends, right? Luffy… you're the man who'll be King of the Pirates. **_

"_**But I don't have to go that far up."**_

_**The words were almost whispered, but they sounded louder than a scream in the silence that filled the galley. The faces of Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, and Chopper grew nothing short of appalled as Usopp continued: "Thinking back, when I was about to sail out, you guys asked me to join you."**_

_**He hung his head. "But that's all that's tying us together…"**_

The sniper bowed his head. He opened his hands, gazing at the callouses on his palms thrown into relief in the sunlight from the porthole behind him; back at Water 7, abandoning the Going Merry might have been the thing that pushed him over the edge.

But he knew exactly how Vera felt. Exactly.

**...**

Zoro exhaled through his nose. It was right after that that the chijo had started acting strange. Not leering at him as much, doing more shooting practice. For a while, Zoro hadn't minded – in fact, he had found the change rather welcome, albeit bizarre. The important thing was that everybody was safe. Not to mention the ball and chain that was his bodyguard duty had been lightened by the addition of Luffy or the ero-cook (or both!) that insisted on coming along after that little dart-&-arrow incident. But then she'd started speaking to him in that clipped tone, talking to him like _he_ was the criminal here! After all he'd done!

Zoro touched his mouth.

And then… she'd just…!

The swordsman's teeth clashed together, and he slammed his fist into the mirror. The glass actually cracked, sending spiderweb breaks racing across his reflection. _Damn semikami gives me all that shit, and then she does _this_?! I don't GET it! _he thought furiously, a shadow coming over his eyes. _Does she have no idea how serious that kind of contact is?! To just do it randomly like that –! _

Zoro opened his eye. _It's despicable!_

For a long minute, the marimo remained in that position, head bowed and fist clenched against the mirror. But finally, the swordsman sighed. He loosened his fingers – which were now sparking and tingling from the pressure he'd put on them – and rubbed his face tiredly, brows furrowed in frustration as he left the bathroom and wandered back to the men's quarters. The man opened the door; as he'd figured, the rest of the snakes had vanished, too. He sat back down on his bunk, face in his hands. Maybe a kiss didn't mean the same thing in the Otherworld as in this one. Maybe this shouldn't bother him…

Zoro growled. But he couldn't help it. It did.

**…**

* * *

Vera's mouth softened as she realized something. Her face fell.

"You know… it's not like that was _my_ first kiss," she murmured, picking at her nails in an attempt to seem nonchalant. "I got mine years ago, but knowing Zoro, he was too busy smacking full-grown men with bamboo swords during his teens to even consider girls.

"I probably stole his first kiss…" she whispered.

"Fuaasuto kisu? _Zoro_?" Usopp repeated, seeming dumbfounded. The sharpshooter's face twisted – probably in an attempt to imagine it – and failed. He waved his hand around as if to ward off a weird smell. "Iie, iie," he agreed.

Then, he paused, seeming torn. "Shikashi, sore ga nai _kanōsei_ ga arimasu…" he muttered. _Still, it's __**possible**__ that it's not…_

Vera's eyes flicked up at him. "You think?"

Seeing hope in her eyes, Usopp nodded with enthusiasm. "Shoo!" _Sure!_

She sighed, burying her face in her hands. "Ugh… I hope so. But in any case, you were right," she admitted, voice muffled by her palms. "Even if I can't take my actions back, I need to apologize to him. It's all I can do, ne?"

* * *

Usopp was still a little weirded out by trying to imagine Zoro kissing _anyone_ voluntarily, and he didn't know exactly what had just happened. _But this is progress!_ the sharpshooter realized. _And we've never asked Zoro about that sort of thing, so we don't NOT know that idiot hasn't ever kissed anybody before. _

So he kept nodding. "Yeah!" he encouraged Vera. "It's a good first step."

* * *

Vera propped her chin on her fist. "Sooo… how should I do it?" she asked him.

Usopp stroked his small black goatee thoughtfully. "Hmmmm, should keep shimpulu!" he decided, dramatically raising his finger. "'Sumimasen deshita, yurushite kudasai' should bay goodu. Turai ittu!" _Try it!_

The brunette let the Japanese roll over her tongue, getting a feel for the phrase. "_Sumimasen_ deshita," she repeated. "Yurushite kudasai."

Usopp gave her a glorious thumbs-up, practically shining with pride. "Goodu!"

Vera watched him sparkle for a second… then snorted and rocked back, guffawing at the extremely dramatic anime goofball that was her reliable BFF. "Ha ha ha!" she laughed. "You're such a baka, Usoppu!"

The sniper pouted at her for a second, then snorted and began to laugh with her. The room was filled with the sounds of their mirth – and for a few seconds, everything bad and confusing that had happened earlier that day seemed to vanish, replaced by the warmth of friendship. Vera had always thought these kinds of moments were overwhelmingly cheesy and exaggerated and overrated… but now, she guessed it had been because she'd never had a good enough friend to have those kinds of moments with.

Vera chuckled one last time, then sighed with resignment. One that had ever really _lasted_, anyway.

* * *

Usopp smiled and hopped off the bed, startling the semikami out of her thoughts. "Well, shall we go?" he asked.

The sniper held out a hand to her. "No time like the present, right? And truth is, I _do_ still have some pop greens to pack."

* * *

Vera balked. "Wait, now? Like, _right_ now?"

"Yeah!"

The semikami looked at him – then at his hand. She shifted awkwardly on her bed, seeming hesitant to take it. Usopp smiled understandingly at her; he wouldn't blame her for feeling that way, if she did. Vera blinked, looked back up at him, then back at his hand…

Then she rolled her eyes and took it. "All right."

* * *

Usopp grinned. "Great!" he chirped, helping her up off the bed and pulling her towards the door. "C'mon, let's go! Don't worry, it'll all be fine~!"

**…**

Meanwhile, on the lawn deck, Luffy and Chopper emerged back into the sunshine and cool, copper-scented air. The little doctor sighed restlessly, thoughts spinning as his captain craned his head around to survey their surroundings.

"…Luffy?"

The rubber man jumped slightly. "Hah?!"

Then he realized it was just Chopper. "Oh. What is it?" Luffy asked, glancing down at him.

The man reindeer blinked. "Are you okay? You seem a little jumpy."

Luffy sighed, scratching his head. "I dunno," he admitted. "Something just feels kinda off about this place. Not really, like, evil or particularly malicious or anything, but beyond that, I can't sense anything very well. Beyond that treeline, it's all just one big _blob_."

His dark eyes flicked around restlessly at the cobalt sky and bloody ocean. "Like my Haki is being veiled somehow…"

_GRRRROONNNNNGGGGLLLL._

Luffy moaned pathetically. "Awwww, I'm soooo hungry…!"

He folded to the deck, curling into a ball around his complaining stomach. "Uuuuugh, I haven't had anything to eat since my water sandwiches last night!" he groaned, tongue hanging out. "I'm gonna _dieeeee_ –!"

"EHHHH?!" Chopper shrieked. "NOOO! LUFFY, PLEASE DON'T DIE!"

He started to run around in frantic circles around their moaning captain. "Somebody get a doctoooooor –!"

Suddenly, Luffy sobered. "Oi."

The reindeer stopped, stunned by his sudden seriousness. "Eh?"

Luffy sighed quietly. He pressed his face against the grass; green blades brushed against his cheeks, tickling against his hair as he inhaled its clean, fresh scent, like springtime. Like a girl's fingers. Or… one certain girl.

_**Luffy leaned on Vera's shoulder. The girl stared at him incredulously, a grin tugging unbidden at her lips. "What's weird about that?" he asked Nami innocently.**_

"_**Shut up, I'm getting to that."**_

_**Luffy scowled adorably. Vera finally gave into her smile and put an arm around him; he smiled and stretched like a contented cat, falling into her lap with a carefree **_**plop**_**. She took off his hat, running her slender fingers through his long raven hair.**_

Luffy exhaled, feeling that spring of warmth bubble over at the memory.

Then – regretfully – he opened his eyes, returning to the present. "I wonder what's happening with Vera?" he murmured, running his hand over the soft grass. "Usopp was acting weird. And things have been going on with her lately that I don't understand."

Chopper started. The doctor gazed at the slightly frustrated look on Luffy's face for a moment, whites visible all around his irises; even after this much time, it was still a little surprising when he showed _that_ kind of concern over Vera.

Then the fluffy creature sighed. "Yeah," he admitted. "I was wondering, too."

There was a long moment of quiet, where both of doctor and captain stewed in thought and memory…

_GRRRROONNNNNGGGGLLLL!_

"RAAAAAH! I'M TOO HUNGRY TO BE THINKING THIS HARD!" Luffy roared, making Chopper jump. The reindeer stared at him as he jumped to the rail, staring furiously down at the shadows that moved in the red sludge beneath the Sunny. "I want breakfast! Come here, you fishy bastards!"

The rubber man spun his fist around. "Gomu Gomu no…!"

He launched it into the water, towards the biggest shadow. "_Pistol_!"

Luffy's hand broke the surface with the speed of a bullet; any normal fish would be unable to avoid his grasping fingers. But these huge sludge-dwellers had developed muscles to propel themselves through their thick, soupy environment, and could move even faster. The target evaded Luffy's attack, circling around like a shot to resume its original position – as if taunting him. A tic went off in the strawhatted pirate's forehead.

"You wanna play that game?!" Luffy yelled at the fish. "Fine!"

He entered Gear Second. "_Gomu Gomu no_…!"

A pair of yellow eyes broke the surface just below the Thousand Sunny's hull, glancing up – then widened and jumped from the water in a stream of red. Neither pirate noticed the slender, dripping frame reattach itself to the hull, slink over the edge, and scramble soundlessly up the mast behind them.

Luffy's fists flew. "_JET_ _GATLING_!"

Chopper smiled weakly, feeling faint. "That's a little overkill, don't you think, captain…?" he whimpered.

But as what happened next proved, apparently overkill worked.

Luffy's face lit up as his hands hooked around a huge, squirming form. "Got one!" he cried, and slungshot the massive, scintillating fish onto the deck, the disgusting seawater releasing it with a sickening sucking noise as it hit the grass with an impact that shook the entire ship.

Chopper squealed in both surprise and delight: _Still, _he thought as he shifted to Heavy Point and rushed to help hold down Luffy's struggling catch. _I hope everything goes all right with that conversation. Nothing bad or really unnatural has happened yet, but we never know what might happen around Vera. Her being a –_

His brows furrowed. _Well… her being what she is._

"Uwooooh! BREAKFAST!"

The Strawhat captain's joyous cry echoed throughout the Sunny, and Chopper joined in after a moment of hesitation – both oblivious that far above them, Tora hung hidden behind the furled sail, watching hungrily. Waiting for the opportune moment to take her _own_ breakfast.

**…**

_Knock knock knock._

Zoro raised his head from his hands, hearing someone at the door. _Who is that? _

He got up from his bunk, walked over, and opened the door.

"Usopp?"

The crew's familiar long-nosed sharpshooter stood there. He grinned at Zoro and waved at him. "Yo!" he chirped casually.

Vera peered cautiously from behind her friend.

The swordsman's eye narrowed. "I'm a little busy here. What do you want?"

"Eh?" Usopp blinked, slightly taken aback. "Uh, Vera has something she wants to say. Vera?"

He stepped aside, waving the sheepish-looking brunette forward. She hesitated… but came out from behind him and stopped before the swordsman, eyes glued to the floor.

Zoro's guard was instantly up. He glared down at the chijo; the last thing he wanted to do was listen to anything that girl had to say… and if it were just her standing in his doorway, he would have just shut the door. But Usopp was there. Anything that long-nosed gossip generator witnessed would spread through the crew like wildfire, in a highly exaggerated tone, and then Zoro would have a pissed ero-cook or sea witch or archeologist to deal with. So he just stood there, glaring down at her.

The chijo looked up at him, opened her mouth – then closed it and stared back at the ground. She stubbed her shoe on the floorboards. Zoro waited. For a long moment, she didn't say anything.

"_What_?" Zoro finally growled. "Spit it out already."

* * *

Vera flinched.

This was one of the worst parts about apologizing… before one apologized, when both people were still pretty mad at each other. But Zoro had a good reason to be angry with her, especially after she'd been so incredibly stupid and boneheaded and just all around _rude_ to him. Inside, she was definitely kicking herself. It wasn't an excuse, though. Just made her feel terrible. And it didn't get anything accomplished.

All she could do was apologize.

Bracing herself, Vera swallowed her pride.

And bowed her head to the swordsman. "Sumimasen deshita," she pronounced. "Yurushite kudasai."

* * *

"I am very sorry. Please forgive me."

Zoro blinked.

Usopp exhaled in relief, smiling at Vera's bowed head. He was afraid for a minute that she might try a smart remark or something to brush it off.

The sniper inconspicuously clenched his fist in triumph. _But, good news!_

He aimed a pointed glance at Zoro, whose blank face made it obvious he hadn't been expecting it, either. The tense part was over now. _She apologized! Quite nicely, too. All thanks to my miraculous language skills! _He nodded to himself, utterly convinced of the outcome of this little encounter. _Surely he'll forgive her. It wouldn't be like the zen-master marimo to keep something like this against her, especially if she's admitted it. All he's gotta say now is –!_

Slam.

Zoro shut the door.

Usopp's jaw hit the floor. _**EEEEEEEEH?!**_

* * *

Vera raised her head.

The door was closed.

"What just happened?" she asked. "Please tell me that's Strong-but-Silent for 'No need to apologize.'" She looked at Usopp, who was choking out a chorus of disbelieving and outraged squeaks, like a flock of little mutant starlings from his throat. "Usoppu?"

The sharpshooter forced Vera's head back down, extracting a squeak of surprise from her. "Shtay herah!" he said in mangled English.

Usopp threw open the door. "_ZORO_!" he yelled, darting inside. "Ittai _nanida_ yo?!"

_Slam_.

Vera stared at the floor. She exhaled slowly, stunned. She'd never been… _not_ forgiven after apologizing. Swallowing your pride, to wholeheartedly say you are sorry for something you've done – and mean it – and be shot down for it? It was a new feeling.

And it hurt.

A lot.

The girl scowled, raised her head, and walked back down the hall. _I was right about him being an emotionless superhuman freak? Fine, _she decided, a cold fury filling her bones._ Let him think what he wants of me. I don't even __**care**__ anymore._

**…**

* * *

Usopp slammed the door behind him and whirled on their swordsman. "Zoro! What the heck?!" he yelled. "What was that?!"

Zoro sat back down on his bunk with a dark look at the sniper. "Usopp, it's not something she can just _apologize_ for," he growled.

Usopp choked in disbelief. "_Apologi_–?! All she can do _is_ apologize!" he cried. "She doesn't know how to _do_ anything else! What else could she have –?!"

Suddenly, the sharpshooter blinked.

"Wait… you said 'she,'" he realized aloud. "What's different about her kissing you versus someone else doing it?"

Zoro hesitated. "…"

Usopp's eyes bugged. "Oh. My. God! _That __**was**__ your first kiss, wasn't it_?!" he screamed.

The marimo got defensive. "N-No, it wasn't!" he roared.

"You mean you've kissed a girl?!" the long-nosed man yelped. He jumped onto Zoro's bunk, scrambling into a cross-legged position and leaning in. "When? How?!" he demanded.

"It wasn't a _kiss_!" Zoro barked. Leaning back at the younger man's proximity, he furrowed his brow at the ceiling, avoiding Usopp's prying gaze. "I-I was sixteen, some village girl caught me by surprise on my way back from the dojo. Dumb broad said it was for a dare, then turned tail and ran. Seemed pretty terrified, actually."

Usopp scratched his head.

"Huh. Guess I can't blame her," he mused. "You do have a pretty scary face."

A tick went off in Zoro's forehead. "Oi."

"Still, wow! That surprises me!" the sharpshooter exclaimed, as if he hadn't even heard the swordsman's protest. He aimed a look at Zoro. "But still, what's different about Vera… uh… blocking your mouth versus someone else doing it?"

The swordsman's mouth twisted in agitation as Usopp continued. "I'd think it wouldn't matter much," he mused. "Trust me, I know Vera better than anyone else on this ship, and the person most like her is you."

Zoro balked. "Like _me_? How?!" he demanded. He could not believe Usopp could say something so stupid! "How the _hell_ is she like _me_?!"

Usopp aimed a look at him. "Well, for one, you're both stupid in weird ways."

Zoro scowled.

"You both certainly have your pride!" the sniper continued, sticking his nose in the air. "But you're also both brave, loyal, and semi-good hearted. You both love your weapons…"

"Where is that coming from?"

Usopp raised an eyebrow at him. "You're not very perceptive, are you?" he asked. "Look, we _all_ heard what you said about her gun. Zoro, think about it. How would you react if _you_ accidentally misaimed a slash and someone tried to take your swords away from _you_?"

Zoro hesitated, aiming a protective glance at his katana in the corner.

"…I'd kick their asses," he admitted.

The long-nosed man threw his hands up in the air. "Bingo, we _have_ a winner!" he cried, exasperated. His arms fell back in his lap with a _smack_. "She _can't_ kick your ass but I'd betcha _mine_ that she sure wanted to! She _loves_ swords, too. And you'd know this but you always run away when you see her looking, so…"

"I don't _run_ _away_!"

The sharpshooter covered a silly grin and flapped a hand at him dismissively. "Awww, we all know you're a tsundere!"

Zoro squinted at him. "A _what_?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, I dunno either. Vera used to call you that all the time in private."

The marimo opened his mouth to ask another question, but Usopp had already moved on with his list, ticking off each point on his fingers: "You aren't squeamish at the sight of blood, you're both fascinated by the art of combat, wish to be stronger, are extremely blunt when someone's being stupid or otherwise, and most importantly, want Luffy to be King of the Pirates. You guys have a lot in common!"

The line between Zoro's brows deepened. He glared stubbornly down at his palms; he didn't want to admit it, but the way Usopp had said all of it… it could very well be true. He still didn't like it. He still didn't want to acknowledge this. And he certainly couldn't just _let_ _it_ _go_. It wasn't that simple –!

Still…

Usopp's face grew serious. "Zoro, she said she was sorry," he murmured. "Why can't you just forgive her and move on?"

The swordsman's brows furrowed.

And suddenly, a massive impact shuddered through the Sunny. Usopp squealed in surprise, arms flailing even as Zoro jumped, grabbing the frame of his bed.

"_Uwooooh_!" someone that sounded a lot like Luffy yelled from the upper decks. "_BREAKFAST_!"

Closing his eye resignedly, Zoro sighed and got up. "I'll figure out something," he replied to Usopp, moving to the door. "But right now we better go see what that idiot captain of ours is up to."

"Oooooh!" the sharpshooter exclaimed. He hopped up from the bunk, following Zoro out into the hall. "So you're gonna accept her apology?"

"No."

His jaw dropped. "WHAT?! You stubborn idiot! All you have to do is say 'It's okay!'"

"But it's _not_ okay! It's _really_ not okay!" Zoro yelled. He grit his teeth, walking faster down the hall towards the lawn deck. "Tch. Look, I don't know how to deal with this right now and I'd appreciate it if you got off my back about it!"

"Fine. Geez…"

Usopp followed him for a few more paces. "…But you _are_ gonna eventually accept her apology, right?" he confirmed.

"I don't know!" Zoro snarled.

"Right?"

"No!"

"Right?"

"NO!"

"Tsundere~!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

**…**

"Oi, Sanji!" Luffy yelled. His eyes sparkled at the sight of the fat, scintillating, twelve-foot fish he'd just yanked from the ocean with his Gomu Gomu no Jet Gatling, writhing around on the deck; Chopper quickly switched to Heavy Point and hurried over to help pin it. "Sanji! Look, look! I finally caught one! Now we can have breakfast, right?!"

Crossing the deck, Sanji looked over. "Oh, good job!"

_Paff_. The cook set down the straps of the two big, woven harvesting baskets he had been carrying and rolled up his sleeves. "You might have just redeemed yourself, shithead. That fish looks like it'll be great with the fruits and vegetables Vera-chan and I are going to get from the island."

Nami emerged onto the balcony and saw the baskets. "Sanji-kun, are you going ashore?" she called.

"Hai, Nami-_swan_~!" the cook sang. "You ladies need breakfast, so I'm going to see what we can scrounge!"

She tossed something down. "Well, if Vera's going with you, take this!"

"Hah?" Sanji caught it and glanced curiously down at it. Sitting in his palms was a tiny, blue-green transponder snail with a yellow shell and a single band of red across the back. A small button was placed on the top. "What's this?"

Nami held up another transponder snail of similar size and shape, except there was a light bulb in the top instead of a button. "It's an emergency signal," she replied. "After that thing attacked Franky..."

Concern etched a line between her brows. "I don't trust this island."

She pointed authoritatively at the little creature in Sanji's hands. "You got that?! If you get in trouble, pressing that button will send a signal from that one," she tapped the bulb atop her own snail, "to this one. We'll come help you."

Sanji let out a cry of exhaltation, throwing his arms in the air for joy. "Oh, Nami-swan is an angel to worry about meee~!" he swooned.

A shoe slammed into his skull. BONK!

_"Mellorine~!"_ he moaned.

He tipped and fell backwards. "BAKA GA!" Nami yelled from the balcony as he collapsed to the deck. "It's not for you, it's for Vera! She can't defend herself like you can, and we all know she's a trouble magnet. If you two accidentally get separated..."

Sitting up, Sanji exhaled quietly, rolling his neck. "Don't worry, Nami-san."

He tucked the emergency snail into his jacket and smiled up at the busty redhead on the balcony. "I'll take good care of Vera-chan," he reassured her.

"Wow, Nami!" Luffy exclaimed, a big grin on his face. "You're just like an overprotective big sis! Aha ha ha –!"

The navigator threw her other shoe at him. "SHUT UP!"

BONK! "_OW!_ What was that for?!"

"Quit saying stupid stuff!" Nami yelled. Turning away, she harrumphed and marched back the way she came. "I'm gonna go change! Keep it down out here, will ya?!"

Sanji saluted happily. "Hai, Nami-swan~!"

When the navigator was gone from sight, he propped his hands on his hips and peered around. "Where is Vera-chan, anyway?" he wondered aloud. "We should leave soon or – oh, there she is now!"

He waved frantically at the semikami coming across the grass, heart pumping in his eye. "VERA-CHWAAAAN~!" loverboyed the blonde. "OVER HEREEEE~!"

Then he caught himself. "Ah! I mean, uh…"

* * *

Vera stopped in front of him and propped her hands on her hips. "What is it?" she asked tersely, her face dark with indignance.

* * *

_Where does she get off talking to her sensei like that?!_ Inner Zeff grumbled.

Sanji rolled his eyes at him internally_. Oh, relax, damn geezer._

Loverboy wiggled around, trailing hearts of infatuation for their pretty protégé. _Yeah, you shitty old fart~! Shitty relax~!_

Zeff kicked him overboard. WHAM! Kasploosh.

Luffy's eyes flicked over from his wriggling fish – and did a double take when he saw Vera, waiting with a cross expression for Sanji's answer (which seemed rather slow in coming, for some reason). The rubber man looked at his writhing catch, then back at Vera, forth, back; then, he clenched his fist triumphantly. _Yosha!_ he thought, a big grin spreading across his face. _This time I'm gonna steal her attention from _you_, Sanji!_

"Ooooooi, Vera! Looku, looku!"

* * *

Vera blinked and turned around, brow furrowed at the sound of Luffy's voice. Her captain was grinning like a goofball at her, slapping the tail of the biggest non-Sea-King fish she'd ever seen. Normally, she'd be more impressed… but right then, she just wasn't in the mood.

"Oh, sure. Sugoi," she deadpanned.

* * *

Poor oblivious Luffy grinned. "It _is_ sugoi!" he enthused, proud of himself for getting her to talk to him. He jumped up, leaving Chopper to wrestle alone with the bucking fish as he jumped around and punched the air excitedly, reenacting his glorious battle for her to watch. "He was a slippery bastard! He evaded my regular Pistol, but then I caught him with my Jet Gatling! Isn't that so cool~?"

"Right. Cool. Fine."

Vera turned her back to the huge fish. "So, what going on?" she asked Sanji in broken Japanese.

The captain's jaw dropped, making a sound of disbelief – then the fish's tail slapped him upside the head and he went back to wrestling with it. Meanwhile, Sanji slipped the straps of the harvesting basket over Vera's shoulders. "Well, _we_ are going ahead to get any fruits or vegetables we can find," he informed her. "Hopefully we'll bring back enough to give everybody a decent breakfast before they all head ashore. You ready to go now?"

Vera gazed solemnly at the ground, adjusting the straps to length. "Mm."

The cook hesitated – slightly concerned by her tone – but nodded approvingly and went to go put his on. "Alright then," he told her, gesturing to the hatch that led down to the Sunny's Soldier Dock System. "Go on and hop in Mini-Merry. I'll be there in a sec."

His student nodded. She walked over to the hatch and grabbed the handle. Meanwhile, behind them, a door opened onto the lawn deck and Zoro and Usopp came out.

The sharpshooter reeled back, eyes bugging at the sight of the small whale of a fish writhing around on the grass, flicking drops of stinking red ocean slop all over the place. "Whoah!" he yelped, arms flying into a defensive position. "Okay, what'd we miss here?!"

Zoro crossed his arms over his chest, taking in the situation...

By accident, Vera's eyes met his.

He blinked – then he shifted his gaze to her hands, which had the hatch in the deck halfway open. "You going somewhere?"

Sanji casually lifted the harvesting basket onto his back. "I'm all she needs, _baaaaaka_!" he drawled, adjusting the straps with a mocking smirk. "Just stay here and take a nap."

Zoro eyed the reddening shoe-mark on the blonde's forehead. "Yeah, that's a real confidence-booster, curly cook," he muttered, automatically checking for his swords at his hip and stepping forward with a resigned look. "Well, let's just get this over with…"

Suddenly, the semikami girl slammed the hatch shut.

CLANG!

Zoro stopped.

Vera's eyes widened dangerously at him, a white spark flickering around her iris. "_**Don't**_ _**even**_ _**bother**_," she hissed.

Her tone was entirely different than Sanji's playful one. The Strawhat semikami's voice sounded strange and harsh in their ears, as if it consisted of two layers… spoken in English, but thrumming with dark intent, leaving only the meaning of her words ringing in their minds. For a split second, the very atmosphere seemed to vibrate with a wave of sheer malicious, blatant _spite_. Even if it was directed at the swordsman, everyone felt it. All across the Sunny, heads were turned – eyes wide with alarm – searching for the source of power that caused their teeth to buzz like angry hornets within their skulls.

The force struck Sanji full in the back. The blonde was sent stumbling forward a few steps, bones vibrating.

Then he whirled to stare at Vera with wide eyes. _What the –?!_

Usopp and Chopper froze, petrified. Robin stiffened in the corner. In his workshop, Franky dropped a wrench, staggering back. All the way in the women's quarters, Nami dropped the patterned blue bikini top she was holding, clutching her head and squealing in pain. On the deck, Luffy's pupils contracted in shock. All the blood drained from Zoro's face again, voice silenced against his will by that sparking, otherworldly gaze.

Everyone stared at Vera. The semikami did not take her eyes off Zoro, silently daring him to come _one_ _step_ closer to her and _see_ what would happen. Silence reigned for what felt like a year… when it was probably more like three seconds at most.

Sanji swallowed, moistening his dry throat. "V-Vera-chan…?"

His whisper seemed deafening in the suffocating silence. "W-what – I mean… what did you just…?"

She did not turn around, eyes freezing a ghostly-pale Zoro in his tracks.

"_**Sometimes I even wonder if that **_**grasshead**_** even has a speck of humanity left in him**_," she hissed.

The skin around Zoro's eyes widened, then tightened.

* * *

Then Vera broke eye contact, opened the hatch, and began to descend the ladder. "Ikuso," she muttered flatly.

* * *

Sanji didn't move for a second.

Then he realized she had been speaking to him. "O-Oi!" he yelled. Hurrying after her, the man braced a hand on the hatch and called down after her: "H-Hold on, that's not what I –! _Vera_!"

She reached the bottom of the ladder, crawled into the back seat of the Mini Merry, and waited. It was as if she hadn't even heard him.

Sanji shook his head, bewildered. "Wha –?!"

He glanced first at the marimo and then at Usopp. "_Wha_…?" he mouthed.

The swordsman stared straight through him – his eye narrowed, mouth twisted into a grim line, but his face pale as death under his bronzed complexion. The sharpshooter looked just as confused, baffled, and taken aback as the cook, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide with shock.

Sanji realized he wasn't going to get an answer from them… so he closed his mouth, descending the ladder and closing the hatch behind them without another word.

_Clang_.

A few moments later, the deck trembled slightly under their feet, releasing the Mini Merry into the sea. On their port side, they could hear it paddling its way up to the shore. Finally, the engines stopped; the cook and his protégé, got out, tied the shopping boat to a sturdy-looking bush, and disappeared into the trees with their big, woven harvesting baskets.

The Strawhats remained motionless the entire time, staring straight forward as if in a trance. Looking back, they weren't sure if they had been doing it by themselves or if something – or someone – had forced them to stay that way.

Suddenly, Luffy looked down at his fish.

His eyes bugged.

"GAAAAH!" he wailed. "WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?!"

Several people nearly jumped out of their skins at their captain's scream. They whirled to see that, in the place of the massive, twelve-foot meal that had been wriggling around on the deck, there was only a single one of those tiny, black-speckled pirahanas; the same kind that they had seen eating the shark that had attacked Nami. It lay in the grass next to a glowing pile of excretions, limp as a noodle. Everyone gaped at it in disbelief.

They weren't sure which to be more surprised about. That their entire crew's breakfast had just turned into an appetizer for one… or the fact that said appetizer's poop was _glowing_.

Nami banged open a door, changed and ready. "Guys!" she exclaimed. "What was that weird feeling in the air just now?! Eh? Where are Sanji-kun and Vera-chan?"

Franky entered from the opposite side. "Oi, guys! What was that –?!"

The shipwright raised an eyebrow at the piranha passed out on the deck. "Eh? What's with the skimpy fish?" he asked, completely clueless.

Luffy got up – a cloud of depression hanging over his head – and trudged towards the front of the ship, where he would sit on Sunny's figurehead and mope for the next ten minutes.

Zoro moved away, too; Usopp saw it in the corner of his eye, then gasped and did a double take. "Hey, where do you think you're going?" he demanded of the swordsman as he began to ascend the steps to the aft deck.

The green-haired man didn't look back. "No point in stressing out while we wait for them to come back," he replied neutrally. "I'm going to take a nap."

With that, he resumed climbing the stairs.

Usopp watched him go. He grit his teeth, frustrated by the swordsman blasé behavior. _Geez, that guy –! _

Nami, on the other hand, glanced after Luffy.

_What's with him?_ the redhead wondered. She followed him.

**...oOo...**

– **TEN MINUTES LATER –**

Leaning back against a mikan tree, Zoro huffed quietly and put his hands behind his head.

Leaves rustled in the wind, filling his ears with their whispers. A lovely breeze – cool as autumn but warmed by the sun – caressed his face and ran gentle fingers over his hair. Even if the air was heavy with the musky, coppery stench of blood, it was a beautiful day, and under any other circumstances the swordsman would have done as he had claimed to Usopp and dozed off right then and there.

"_**Sometimes I even wonder if that grasshead even has a **_**speck**_** of humanity left in him."**_

Zoro growled to himself. He didn't even know the chijo knew how to say "humanity," let alone form a sentence in their language like that! "What possessed her to _say_ something like that?" the swordsman muttered hotly to himself.

"And questioning my _humanity_?"

He closed his good eye, oblivious to the tigress slowly closing in on him. "How unreasonable can she get…?"

A few more seconds passed in silence.

Then Zoro shifted uncomfortably, glaring crossly at the dark cobalt skies. "Why am I even stressing about something that chijo said anyway…?" he admonished himself quietly.

Hidden in the brush, Tora ran her tongue over her full lips. She took the final step that would take her within optimum pouncing distance, that powerful surge of her legs that nothing and no one could avoid at close range, almost drooling as she pictured sinking her teeth into all that _meat_ –!

Distracted, she made an elementary mistake. She stepped on a twig. _Snap_!

Zoro's eye flew open.

Her element of surprise gone, Tora snarled a violent curse, lunged from the bushes, and went for his throat.

A yellow-gold blur streaked from the bushes in the corner of his eye; Zoro automatically turned, arms shooting forward to meet whatever force was coming at him… and come it did. With a bone-shattering impact of fur, coiled sinews, and flashing teeth, it slammed into him with enough force to uproot the mikan tree he was leaning against. Zoro started, choking in surprise as the trunk creaked alarmingly – then gave against his back, sending both the swordsman and his unidentified enemy sprawling to the deck in a flurry of dirt, leaves, and swearing. A shot of fiery pain lanced up his arms and back; beads of cold sweat popped up on Zoro's forehead. The marimo bit back a cry – muscles straining with the unexpected agony – as razor teeth snapped wildly at his face. But with one superhuman heave, he threw his assaulter off of him, leapt to his feet, and whirled in anticipation of the next attack…!

Zoro gaped for a moment at the sight of the thing that had just tried to tear his throat out. "Chijo –?!"

Then he cut himself off as he saw the long, feminine, tiger-esque body. The golden hide, dark stripes. The tail. But its face was the thing that threw him for a loop.

It was Vera's face. With long, tousled blonde hair, predatory teeth, and murderous yellow eyes.

Those eyes.

The swordsman grabbed at his katana, abruptly recognizing the tigress that had mauled Franky. "_You_!"

He was just about to unsheathe his blades, when suddenly, Luffy's cry echoed over the trees, accompanied by yipping battle screams and sounds of battle.

"_**CANNIBALS**_!"

Zoro whirled. _WHAT did he say?!_

The tigress bared her fangs and lunged again. The swordsman felt it more than saw it, but by the time he turned, those huge, scything jaws – in such familiar housing – were barely an inch from his face. So close he could see the bits of human meat stuck between the monster's carnivorous molars. His eyes widened. He didn't have time to dodge…!

**.**

* * *

**A/N: CLIFFY! X3**

**Sanji and Vera are on their own on a hostile island, Tora's back, cannibals came with her, and there's a pile of glowing fish poop on the lawn deck?! Review, follow, favoraite, anticipate, and find out next chapter! Because… well**…**a LOT can happen in just ten minutes…**


	25. Of Monsters and Maneaters

**Okay… THIS is when I warn you that, in **_**my**_** opinion, You-Are-What-You-Eat has the most disturbing/gory content of any other arc until the finale. As you might have guessed from the title of this chappie, this is where SOCCP – a light and fluffy fic up until now – starts showing its darker colors. And just giving you fair warning… it gets worse.**

**Cliffy warning, too. Enjoy~! ^3^**

* * *

**Chapter 25:**

**Of Monsters & Maneaters**

**.oOo.**

– **TEN MINUTES BEFORE… –**

No birds sang on the island X-J of the Black Nautilus Keys. Sanji glanced around, soundly unnerved by the unnatural quiet and the blood-chilling, stomach-dropping sensation of sheer _exposure_ under these unearthly trees.

Dark, milky green sunshine filtered down from a thorny canopy two hundred feet above his head, dying everything – even his skin – a sickly, washed-out color. It messed with his depth perception; the blonde found himself smacking into the long, lanky vines that dangled all the way down from the treetops. Sanji frowned and whacked it out of the way, only to find his foot had been snagged again. For what felt the hundredth time since he'd entered the forest, the cook growled and kicked his way free of the briar that had entangled his leg; the foliage that they had mistaken as underbrush from a distance was in fact a network of spiky, low-growing weed, sprouting in one giant trip hazard as far as the eye could see… only broken by the bizarre, yellowish-white trunks of the trees. They were like no trees Sanji had ever seen before. Set few and far between – spaced far enough apart for even a Ruskaina elephant to walk comfortably between them – they had an impressive girth and, from a distance, their bark seemed to reflect the jade sunlight strangely. But when one got a closer look… you were suddenly glad they were so far apart. Because the trunks of these trees were absolutely _covered_ in needlelike thorns. And every single one of them – from the ones short and tiny as butterfly needles around the base, to the enormous impaling spikes bigger than full grown men that ringed the trunks about three-quarters up – was hard as iron and sharper than broken glass.

Inner Zeff scowled at those painful-looking points.

_Thorns here, thorns there, thorns everywhere! _grouched Sanji's voice of common sense, crossing his arms. _It'd take a miracle to find anything edible in these woods._

Sanji winced at his own loud, crunching footfalls. This really was treacherous footing, trip hazard aside; with all this noise and the trees so far apart, even a deaf old hag could've heard them coming from a mile away. _Yeah_, he agreed privately. _Any fruit-bearing plants would've been choked to death by all this a long time ago. Maybe we should…_

Whack!

Another vine smacked him in the face. He yelped and reeled backwards before he realized what it was, then in a fit of fury grabbed it and ripped it from its purchase far above. As it began to pile on the ground next to him, he harrumphed and began to continue on his way. When suddenly –!

Something big and rustley hit the briar behind him. _THWUMP_.

Sanji jumped.

He stopped, peered around… and his eyes went round as tea saucers when he saw what had landed behind him. It was a dry, emaciated human corpse, cocooned in what looked like the silk of a ten-ton spider. He could tell it was a pirate by the hat – emblazoned with an unfamiliar jolly roger – that clung stubbornly to the poor bastard's skull despite his own hair fluttering in chunks to the ground, knocked loose by the impact. The body couldn't have been strung up there long; maybe a week at most. But it was like someone, or _something_, had stuck a straw into him and sucked him dry of all his soft muscle and inner organs.

The eyeballs and tongue were the only things that were still _juicy_…

Sanji felt a shiver of disgust rake its cold claws up his back. He turned away, still feeling those wet, colorless eyes on his head. _**What a damn creepy place!**_

His mind went to the small lump in his inside breast pocket; the emergency transponder snail Nami-san had given him. _I'm almost glad I have this now…!_

Suddenly, Loverboy popped up. _Quit admiring the scenery!_ he yelled, bopping his host's head with chibi kicks. _Aren't you forgetting something?!_

Sanji frowned, rubbing his slightly bruised head.

He gazed over at the person who had been walking through the woods with him all this time. Her long brown hair was black in the darkness, her russet skin dappled a sickly jade hue by the cold, intrusive sunlight.

_** "You going somewhere?" the shitty swordsman asked.**_

_**Sanji casually lifted the harvesting basket onto his back. "I'm all she needs, baaaaaka!" he drawled, adjusting the straps with a mocking smirk. "Just stay here and take a nap."**_

"_**Yeah, that's a real confidence-booster, curly cook," Zoro muttered, automatically checking for his swords at his hip and stepping forward with a resigned look. "Well, let's just get this over with…"**_

_**Suddenly, the semikami girl slammed the hatch shut.**_

**CLANG!**

_** Zoro stopped. **_

_**Vera's eyes widened dangerously at him, a white spark flickering around her iris. "**_**Don't even bother**_**," she hissed, her tone entirely different than Sanji's playful one.**_

_**The Strawhat semikami's voice sounded strange and harsh in their ears, as if it consisted of two layers… spoken in English, but thrumming with dark intent, leaving only the meaning of her words ringing in their minds. For a split second, the very atmosphere seemed to vibrate with a wave of sheer malicious, blatant spite. Even if it was directed at the swordsman, everyone felt it. All across the Sunny, heads were turned – eyes wide with alarm – searching for the source of power that caused their teeth to buzz like angry hornets within their skulls. **_

_**The force struck Sanji full in the back. The blonde was sent stumbling forward a few steps, bones vibrating. **_

_**Then he whirled to stare at Vera with wide eyes. **_**What the –?!**

The blonde's blue eyes softened. "Of course not_…_" he murmured.

Vera heard a quiet mutter. She turned her head, meaning to just look back at her sensei – but the anger that still boiled in her chest accidentally transformed it into a fearsome glower. "Nani?" she asked, forcing her voice to neutrality. "I didn't quite catch that."

Sanji waved his hands frantically. "O-Oh, no. It's nothing!" he scrambled to reply.

Those dark, threatening eyes watched him for a moment longer.

Then she heaved an exhausted sigh and redirected her gaze back to the front. Lowering his palms, Sanji held in a breath of relief when that gaze left him… but he stared after her for a long minute. Concern brimmed in his eyes. He'd overheard a couple conversations with Usopp or Zoro – when they had said Vera-chan had been acting strange lately – but he had always seen nothing but peace in her when she was around him. So he had written it off as one of the sharpshooter's chronic exaggerations and the swordsman's "chijo" complex…

But after _that_? He had never felt _anything_ like that. And there was no doubt it had come from Vera. That force that had nearly sent him sprawling… and even now, made his knees feel like they might disintegrate into Sanji-jelly and drop his body to be riddled by the thorny briar beneath his feet. But what was it –?!

Suddenly, his eyes widened as a near-forgotten memory made itself known.

"**They have abilities that are erratic and unexplained and impossible to control, and because they are not of this world the unexplained forces of our world fight back against their very existence, like antibodies against a parasite in the body. Along with the existence of anyone or anything associated with them.**

"**Which. Means. You.**_**"**_

_**Juneko Shizuka – the young Gale Dancer of Kibo Hana Island – rose her slender, polished, unnatural finger to point directly at the Mugiwara no Ichimi. At their Jolly Roger. At their Sunny. And the oblivious beast that slept peacefully in her belly. **_

"**If you take her in, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. You will pay with your blood, your promises, even your lives.**_**"**_

Sanji squinted at the ground.

_Was that little girl talking about this sort of thing…?_ he wondered silently, glancing up at Vera's back. _That force… was her ability as a semikami? But that means…_

"**Every hurt inflicted on your nakama will be because of her**_**," the child continued in the voice of the universe. "**_**And the closer you get to her, the worse the curse will become. Friendship will mean torture, and romance?**_**"**_

He swallowed.

"**Death.**_**"**_

_ROMANCE WITH VERA-CHWAN?!_ Loverboy exclaimed. His nostrils flared, blushing and noodling with a pervy smile. _It might be worth death~!_

Zeff kicked him in the face for the second time that day. _GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT, DAMN BRAT!_

_OW!_

Then Inner Zeff turned to Sanji. _As for you, _your_ priorities are clear! _he told the younger chef. _Don't get involved with her! If you do, you either risk getting yourself killed or getting every single one of your nakama killed._

Loverboy grabbed his counterpart's front and shook him back and forth like a rag doll. _HEY! Don't say it like there are no other choices, eh? What if the kid was a fluke?! She said that over two months ago, and this was the very first time something like that ever happened to the crew, ya superstitious old man! Cut poor Vera-chwan some slack!_

"_Superstitious old man?!" Do you EVER use your brain?!_

_Do you ever use your HEART?!_

_Dumb blonde!_

_Moustache freak!_

_SHUT THE HELL UP! _Sanji roared in his mind. _I could make a decision on my own if you two would lay off each other for just FIVE FRICKIN' SECONDS! _

Zeff scowled. _Curly brat._

Loverboy pouted and crossed his arms. _Hardass._

A vein pulsed in Sanji's head… but nonetheless, they fell silent, waiting for his verdict. He took a breath and forced himself to calm down, exhaling slowly through his mouth.

Then, he closed his mouth gently.

His eyes flicked back up.

Vera had moved ahead of him, now – her long, heavy curls touching softly against her shoulders, her back, caressing her tall, light-boned body in ways he had only ever wished he could.

Sanji smiled softly without even realizing it, his memories of long hours with Vera rising to the surface… like the bubbles in a delicious sparkling wine. Of talking to her, even if she might not understand everything he said. Of his hands over her smaller, more delicate ones, guiding them as he taught her how to mince with one of his sharp knives. Of watching her peel her first mikan all by herself. The slightly puzzled look she got when she accidently flipped a pancake into the ceiling that one time. Her shielded giggles, and the way she blushed with such adorable embarrassment when she messed up and he had to help her out. Small things like that. Then, the other side of her. The one she showed outside the kitchen; the furious, intense spark in her eyes, the cocky smirks that were even hotter than her incredible smiles, the way she was aware of, but never seemed to realize just how _sexy_ and _powerful_ she looked when she held her gun. When she was fighting.

Truth was that – just as much as his All Blue, his kitchen, or his cooking knives – Vera never left his mind. His closest nakama, in all honesty. She was his student! The one he shared his very soul with. His love. His life.

For those reasons, Sanji's mouth hardened.

He closed his eyes and nodded determinedly, deciding with finality. _I refuse to believe that she would ever hurt us! _

* * *

Vera perked up and squinted intently at something in the distance. "Sensei, mira," she said, pointing.

* * *

Meanwhile, the cook shrugged to himself, smirking self-assuredly: _That thing back on the Sunny doesn't mean her abilities are out of control, either_, _not at all! I mean, the shitty marimo probably was just being stupid or nothing all that important, anyway, _he thought._ It was a one-time thing. Nothing more. _

* * *

Vera dropped her hand. "Sensei?"

* * *

Sanji clenched his fist triumphantly. _So take that, ya damn geezer!_

A grinning Loverboy held up a scorecard that read 1-0. Zeff facepalmed, but sighed and got over it.

* * *

Vera actually turned around. "_Sensei_!" she insisted.

* * *

Sanji's heart leapt into his throat. "Y-Yes?!"

His protégé's brows furrowed in puzzlement at his reaction, but she turned and pointed again. "Look," she repeated.

The golden-haired man raised his eyes in the direction she indicated – and was surprised by what he saw. In the distance, there was a shaft of warm, white sunshine glowing through the trees… unfiltered by the thorny green canopy. The low-bearing briar ended abruptly before natural light could touch it; beyond it, Sanji recognized the familiar gleam of regular grass.

The man perked up. "Oh, it's a clearing!" he exclaimed, heaving towards the glow. "Let's check it out."

**…**

"What just happened?"

"What's the deal with Luffy?"

"Who knows…?"

A soft, copper wind blew against the side of the Thousand Sunny, setting her furled sails to rustling and her timbers quietly creaking. Pale grey clouds mumbled in the western sky of a drizzling rain – perhaps later in the afternoon – but the sun still stared down on the Strawhats with its blinding bright eye, unshielded and intrusive on the confusion that plagued the pirates.

Chopper picked up the limp, skinny piranha and gave it a pitying look. "Poor Luffy!" he sighed, dropping it with a _splat_ back to the deck. "All that effort to catch a big fish for nothing…"

Usopp crouched down, eyeing something on the deck. "And what the _heck_ is with this?"

Robin raised her black-rimmed sunglasses glanced up from her book, aiming a look at the pile of pellets the very little fish had excreted onto the grass. It was growing fainter now from exposure to the air, but it was still very noticeably _glowing_ – with a faint purple light, infinitesimal shafts of light poking through tiny percolations in dull brown mush.

"Perhaps it ate something that glows?" she wondered aloud, glancing back to her book. The archeologist had changed her usual outfit. Now, she wore a clinging blue mini-dress with long, warm sleeves and a skirt that barely reached past her hips, sapphire hoops in her ears, a dark belt snug around her hips, and buckled black boots that reached up to her calves. "Or is it just something about the island?"

Usopp grimaced in disgust. "I really hope not… that'd make for an awkward trip to the bathroom."

"So what's going on with it?" Chopper asked.

"Who knows…?"

Meanwhile, a certain busty redhead slunk away. She had changed her clothes, too; sporting a new bikini top – pale beige and dark green with black straps and a scale-like pattern – covered by a dark brown army jacket to ward off the autumn chill. She wore her usual pearl earrings, her heels matched her jacket, and she had collected her blazing hair into a high-rise ponytail, which fluttered in the wind as she slowly climbed the steps up to the Sunny's figurehead… where Luffy had sulked off to moments ago.

Nami peered through the spaces between the mane's orange petals. Sure enough, there he was… slumped listlessly on Sunny's head.

Then, she heard him let out a gusty sigh.

_**Nami banged open the door to the lawn deck. "Guys!" she exclaimed. "What was that weird feeling in the air just now?! Eh? Where are Sanji-kun and Vera-chan?"**_

_**Franky entered from the opposite side. "Oi, guys! What was that –?! Eh?" The shipwright raised an eyebrow at the piranha passed out on the deck. "What's with the skimpy fish?" he asked.**_

_**Luffy got up – a cloud of depression hanging over his head – and trudged towards the front of the ship.**_

_What's with him? _Nami wondered when he sighed again, raising an eyebrow. _If he's this depressed it couldn't have been just Franky's comment._

She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should just walk away.

…_Ah, screw it._

Nami climbed the last few steps so that she could see her captain clearly, and he her, leaning casually against one of the petals. "Luffy, what are you doing?" she asked openly.

"THINKING!"

Nami reeled back at his enraged scream. She wasn't expecting his answer to be so violent…

Then what he said registered.

"_THINKING_?!" she cried, shocked.

"How do people _do_ this all the time?!" Luffy whined in frustration. He grabbed his head with both hands, brain throbbing with this strange new use. "It's not like you get anything _useful_ out of it!"

Nami blinked. "You mean you got something out of it?"

Luffy threw his head back, groaning. "That's what I said! _Nothing_ useful!"

The navigator stared at him. _Might as well ask_, she thought. "What were you thinking about?"

"GIRLS!" Luffy replied indignantly.

Nami blinked again.

There was a long pause – so long, the navigator was sure she'd misheard him.

"…'Scuse me, what?" she asked. Her voice cracked; she cleared it quickly, rubbing her throat and staring down at her captain. "I didn't quite catch that…?"

Luffy glared out on the ocean. "Girls!" he repeated, brows furrowed in an uncharacteristically annoyed expression. "Girls are _confusing_! How the hell do you get their attention?! I swear I've tried _everything_! Cool machines, shiny rocks, and what is cooler than a ginormous _fish_?! Everything I do, she just turns right back around! It's driving me _crazy_!"

He slapped his hands down on his knees. "That's it!" he declared, and moved to get up. "I'm going ashore to find a kabuto beetle!"

Nami shrieked and grabbed him by the cardigan. "YOU IDIOT!" she yelled, throwing him back on his butt. "DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE THE SHIP! YOU'LL JUST GET LOST!"

Luffy rubbed his butt. "Owwww…!"

The navigator propped her hands on her hips, glaring down disapprovingly at her captain. "Geez…" she muttered as she watched him. "You're the one who's confusing! Girls aren't interested in stuff like that."

He glanced curiously up at her. "Eh? But _you_ like shiny rocks."

Nami frowned. "Well, gemstones, sure, I guess," she shrugged. "But you're thinking about this all wrong, baka!"

Luffy stuck out his bottom lip. "Ehhh… so technical!"

Then his eyes lit up. "Oh! That's right!" the rubber man exclaimed. He sprung to his feet and grabbed Nami by the shoulders, grinning victoriously. "_You're_ a girl!"

"You're just noticing this?"

"_You_ can tell me how to get a girl's attention! Luckyyy~!"

The redhead raised an eyebrow at his deliriously happy expression. "You were really stressing about this," she observed. "Why are you so interested in what girls like, anyway?"

Luffy sobered so fast it was funny. "Because Sanji gets all Vera's attention and I want her to pay more attention to me."

A bead of awkward sweat trickled down her hair. _So honest!_

Nami hesitated for a moment… but finally sighed. "All right, all right," she gave in. She sat down on Sunny's head, tucking her legs beneath her. "But let's sit." _This might take a while to explain to him…_

Luffy smiled and obeyed, sitting criss-cross-applesauce. "Yosha, yosha~! Tell me, tell me!"

One look at his oblivious face and Nami knew she was in over her head. The navigator scratched her head; her captain really was an idiot concerning women. She was really starting with a blank slate, here, wasn't she? _Oh, where do I begin with this guy?! Not to mention if this is for Vera, I really should get Usopp over here to oversee this conversation… _

The rubber man was growing more insistent. "_Tell_!"

"Okay, okay!" Nami snapped.

Luffy shut his mouth. Once he was quiet, she sighed and rubbed the place on her forehead where she was _sure_ she was getting frown lines. "Well, I dunno about otherworlder girls, it might be a little different where they come from."

She scowled pensively and glared at the ground, as if she might find the perfect answer in the polished paint of Sunny's head. "But with the kind of 'attention' you're looking for, I _guess_ the traditional methods would work…"

Luffy cocked his head. "'Traditional?'" he repeated. "Like what?"

Nami stared at him. "You really don't know, do you?" she asked, completely incredulous.

"Know what?"

Nami smacked herself in the face. _That's Luffy for ya._

Finally, she sighed and lowered her hand. She might as well start simple. "Girls like flowers," she began. "If you give a girl a pretty flower, it lets them know you think they're pretty."

Luffy seemed to have a revelation. "Ohhhh~! So _that's_ why Sanji gave you a rose when you first met?"

"Yes!" Nami replied, nodding. Good, he was catching on.

"Wait, does it _have_ to be a rose?"

"No, no! It doesn't have to be a rose, just a pretty flower."

He nodded. "Ah. Okay. Anything else?"

The redhead tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well," she mused, "I guess if you wanted to go a little more hardcore… an arm around her shoulder or holding hands."

Luffy shook hands with himself. "Like this?" he asked.

"No, no." Nami held hands with herself, showing him very clearly the way she laced her fingers together. "Like this."

It took him a couple tries, but finally he got it. "That's tricky!" Luffy exclaimed. He raised his eyebrows as he wiggled his intertwined digits, fascinated by the sensation of delicate nerve endings in the webs between his fingers rubbing against one another. "And it feels weird. Tingly. Is that normal?"

"Yes, Luffy. Tingly is normal," Nami sighed. She glanced down at her hands. "You can even –" _oh, do I dare…?_ "– use your thumb to rub little circles into her hand."

"That _works_?" he asked.

"Didn't I tell you to stop saying stupid stuff?!" Nami demanded. "Who's the girl, here?!"

**…**

Kicking free of the thorny, scraggly briar, Sanji and Vera finally stepped into the clearing, out from the darkness back into natural light.

Almost immediately, the cook cringed and shielded his eyes, pupils contracting painfully – after so long under the milky green illumination of the forest, unfiltered sunlight felt pale and harsh – but after a few second of rapid blinking, Sanji reopened his eyes and took a look around. It was a decently large clearing, roughly about half the size of a football field. Higher, leafier bushes grew around the edges and grass covered the ground; the foliage so bright green it was almost florescent and scraggly with softer-stemmed, flowering weeds, like a suburban front yard in need of a mowing. It felt more natural, more peaceful. With the huge, spiked behemoths towering on every side – long vines fluttering in the breeze generated at the mixing of warmer forest air and cooler open air – Sanji felt more at ease, but still somehow nervous, as if he stood within the eye of a hurricane.

Behind him, Vera went to go examine one of those leafy bushes. Meanwhile, the blonde man sniffed, detecting a subtle chemical smell in the air.

_What is that?_ he wondered.

Inner Zeff appeared, his hooked nose twitching. _Maybe that perverted cyborg spilled some weird oil on you._

Sanji took a whiff of his jacket. _Mmmm… nope, it's not me! _he replied._ Where's it coming from?_

Suddenly, something occurred to him.

The cook glanced suspiciously down at the strangely bright green grass. _I wonder…?_

* * *

Vera pulled the straps of her harvesting basket off her shoulders and placed it on the grass beside her.

She knelt in front of one of the bushes, peering deeper into its leafy boughs with a searching eye. Admittedly, this might not have been the first place in the world that she wanted to be right now. Honestly, the agitated embers of her burning temper – the leftovers from when she had snapped at Zoro – made her need to squash down urges to scream aloud or throttle a bush or kick a stump. But from past experiences, none of these would make her feel any better. Doing crap like that was pointless and embarrassing in hindsight… so, without even thinking, she had swallowed her anger, hardened her heart against it, and when she was sure she had herself in hand, went back to the _task_ at hand.

The semikami girl squinted up into the bushes. She could've sworn she'd spotted a blob of color in here somewhere. A fruit, perhaps?

The brunette scrutinized the stem and leaves for a moment. One of the first things Sanji-sensei had taught her was how to identify fruit-bearing plants and forage safely from them. It was a harder-learned lesson than she would had thought; but after several nasty cases of itchy red bumps and eating a funky berry that made her spew out both ends for an entire afternoon, she had finally learned to recognize the filmy spots and subtle varnish that indicated a poisonous plant.

From what she could see, this one didn't have any of the signs so there was no reason to doubt it. She reached up into the bush, past broad, shiny leaves and slender branches, and plucked a fruit.

Drawing it out into the light, Vera saw that it was a small thing. Dark purple in color, maybe two thirds the size of an apple. Like a large plum… except when she knocked on it, she discovered the skin was hard like an apple.

But finally – deciding it, too, looked innocent enough and the worst thing that could happen would be a bug living inside – she bit into it.

The fruit gave a satisfying _crunch_ as her teeth broke the skin, its sweet juices bursting into her mouth. The inside was firm and cold. It was simple, domestic, nothing exotic but still tasty. Actually, it tasted like what it looked like… a grape-flavored apple.

_Hm!_ _Not bad. Not bad at all. _She looked up into the bush again, munching on the new fruit. _Are there more?_

Then, suddenly, she noticed something on the branch that made her stop.

* * *

Sanji crouched and inhaled again.

He cringed. Sure enough, the acrid scent became stronger the closer he got to the grass. He brushed his hand against it, plucked a blade, and rubbed it between his thumb and forefingers. Upon close examination, he discovered it was coated with a light, sticky film of colorless substance.

* * *

Taking another bite of the grape-apple-plum thing, Vera pinched a slender branch between her fingers.

She glared suspiciously at the end of it. The dark, hard wood stem was marred by a white, uneven cut mark.

See, it was hard to do in Maine, with all the cold weather and the location of their house so close to the coast, but her mother Laura Rosethorne had always kept roses in their windows at home – joking in that beautiful, regal voice, that since they were the _Rosethorne_ family, it had to be done. Those beautiful flowers bloomed under Laura's care in all seasons… her dad Van and the real Vange had even constructed a small greenhouse to keep a bit of the garden alive during the snows. But during spring and summer – if it had been up to Vera and Eva, every part of their yard would have been absolutely _covered_ with roses, of every size, shape, color, and scent. When Vera was younger, she had loved inviting her friends over for dress-up and tea-parties in the yard and pretending they were rose fairies or princesses; a tradition little Eva happily continued to this day.

It was for this reason, the two youngest Rosethorne daughters would rush out and raise up a storm of crying and complaining when the time came for their mother to clip back the blooming, beautiful vines they loved so much. Vange had always snapped at them, yelling for them to shut up. Van had just sighed and went to go chug a few cans of his New Year's coke.

Laura, however, took it in stride with a gentle smile June after June. She always explained that the process was called "deadheading," and assured her two daughters that pruning the roses in springtime would make sure they would be even prettier than last year. Vera and Eva had always pouted, saying that wasn't possible, and their mother had laughed and she always ended up clipping the roses despite their protests. And although the two little girls winced at each full bud that she removed… they did kinda like the June deadheading, because they got to keep all the leftover roses and stick them in their hair.

For this reason, Vera recognized the mark. It matched perfectly the tips of her mother's rose garden every June; matched perfectly the mark of a pair of pruning shears.

Vera glanced down the row, eyes narrowed as she searched for the telltale white cuts. As she'd thought, the other fruit plants had similar marks. They were faded, maybe a few days or even a week old, but there was no mistaking it.

Someone – or several someones – at least _directed_ by someone with agricultural knowledge had clipped these bushes. Pretty recently, too.

* * *

Sanji smelled it directly and nearly gagged. _Shit! Ugh! Damn, that's nasty!_

He let the blade of grass flutter back to the ground, scrubbing at his watering eyes; the cook felt like he'd just been sprayed in the face with one of Usopp's pop green garden bottles. He was pretty sure all his nose hairs had been singed off. This was unmistakably the rank stench of a heavy-duty plantcare chemical. _Probably a pesticide…_

Then he blinked in surprise. _Wait. _

_Pesticides don't happen naturally! _he realized, looking down at the sharp-smelling grass. _A person had to have done this. Most likely more than one! But we haven't even seen the tail end of a cricket, let alone a person._

Sanji stood up. _So… where are they?_

* * *

Vera turned around, about to point this out to her sensei. "Eto…"

But then, something behind her sensei caught her forager's eye. She hadn't seen it at first because of the ragged state of the clearing, but over there, in a particularly bright shaft of sunshine she recognized the familiar, leafy green foliage of a carrot patch.

"Ah." She pointed. "Seisei, mira. Ninjin."

* * *

Sanji glanced over. The blonde's face brightened. "Ah!"

He got to his feet, smiling. "So it is!"

**…**

Deep in the forest, a slender, misshapen shadow flickered between the trunks of the trees. Feet tapped the great thorns without fear, propelling it and its massive, round burden through the forest at breakneck speed.

"Just a little farther!" croaked the voice of an ancient old man. The source was unseen. "Then you can eat!"

"O-Okay…"

**…**

* * *

Vera followed her delighted sensei over to the vegetable patch. To her examination, it seemed even more well-tended than the fruit bushes. Not to mention – while the green tops of normal carrot plants only stuck up a foot or a foot and a half at most – these long, leafy sprouts were easily double that, reaching a few inches past Vera's waist over three feet off the ground.

* * *

Sanji uprooted one and found the carrot were a dark blood orange and almost as long as his arm. He eyed the length of the unusually shaded vegetable. "Well, seems normal enough aside from the color and… uh… size," he observed.

**…**

The figure staggered. Blackness flickered in eyes like the sun beneath the trees. "I-It's… I can't…!" gasped the tones of a young boy, just as broken and aged by tiredness as the first voice. "My body…!"

"There's Suicide Patch! GO!"

The figure broke through the trees into harsh, unfiltered sunlight.

**…**

* * *

"You sure it's safe?" Vera asked uncertainly. She didn't like unusual colors; not with veggies.

* * *

The cook identified her wary tone and guessed what she said. "One way to find out," he replied, and went to take a bite…

Suddenly, a youthful voice screamed.

"DON'T EAT THAT!"

Sanji choked and spat it out, whirling around to locate the source of the voice.

Standing at the edge of the clearing was the panting, heaving figure of a child no older than ten years old, dressed in nothing but a knotted loincloth and a frayed poncho so old and worn its pattern could no longer be discerned, carrying a burlap sack at least twice his size on his back – bulging with its contents and stuffed to bursting. His face, however, was hidden in the shadowed eye sockets of a massive, razor-toothed horned skull that he wore over his head like a helmet. Outlandish as that seemed, things got stranger still; a ferret – a bedraggled, real, live ferret, with fur grey and old as the hills – was twined around the boy's neck, staring with round, unnervingly sharp eyes at the two pirates.

But the animal fell to the back of Sanji's mind. The Strawhat cook's eyes widened in shock as he stared at the state of the poor boy. At least he _guessed_ it was a boy.

Because… the child was so grotesque emaciated Sanji couldn't even specify its gender. Pale russet skin hung in folds from young bones. What little muscle there was looked brittle and starved. A racing heartbeat and heaving lungs pounded so roughly against those delicate, birdlike ribs one almost expected his chest to break open like an eggshell and spill its withered scarlet yolk to the emerald grass, a hot, fresh breakfast for the wandering scavenger. For a moment, Sanji and Vera could do nothing but gape in horror. How could a body like that still live? Let alone _stand_ like that…?

Even as they watched, the boy dropped his sack, unable to bear its weight any longer. "You _want_ to die…?!" came a gasp, echoed by the skull's confines. "You _ass_…!"

With that comment, the body wavered – and collapsed to the grass.

"W-Whoah! Hey!" Sanji cried.

The ferret squeaked in terror and sprinted for the trees. Sanji dropped the carrot like a hot brick, rushed to the crumpled form of the boy – an alarmed Vera close at his heels – and knocked on the hard skull helmet. "You okay in there?!" he demanded. "Oi!"

* * *

Vera held her arms close to her chest, eyes wide as she frantically hopped from foot to foot. She wanted to help but was too hesitant to touch the kid for fear she might _break_ him! "S-Sensei, do something!" she yelled.

* * *

Hearing nothing but desperate gasping for air, the blonde man started to panic. Close up, the kid's body looked even worse than he'd thought. He ran his hands over gleaming bone, searching for a way to open it – a crack, a fissure, a button, anything! All he knew was that this kid was dying! He had to _do_ something…!

Finally, Sanji discovered that the skull's fanged jaw was loose. He pried the thing open, revealing a face beneath. "Hang in there! Can you hear me?!"

Milky green eyes… slowly… opened.

Agonizing in their pace, they trailed over to Sanji, squinting up at him through a haze of confusion. Then, suddenly, they flashed wide open. Gleaming with a crazy, ravenous light.

_**I WANT TO LIVE!**_

Sanji blinked – suddenly overcome by a memory. But in that fraction of a second that the cook was caught off guard, the boy's hands shot up so fast they were a pale brown blur.

Grabbed Sanji's arm.

Sharp white teeth bared, stretching so far his jaws creaked… and _gnashed_ down on his forearm.

The Strawhat cook roared in pain. "GAAAAAAAH!"

* * *

Vera flinched, but didn't make a sound, watching with horrified eyes as Sanji grabbed the boy's head, trying to pull him off his arm. But it only seemed to make him bite down harder. The man grit his teeth, smothering his cries – but she could see the tendons in his neck standing out in agony as the skull-kid began to rotate his jaw, driving his teeth deeper into Sanji's flesh. Blood sprayed onto the grass near her shoes.

"K-Kick him already…!" she whispered.

"_Chikusho_!" Sanji swore violently, lifting a leg. "_Tebenasu_!"

* * *

He slammed down his foot, fully intending to break one of those skinny knees to make this damn little biter let go! However, the kid brought up his feet – making Sanji's deadly kick slam harmlessly into the ground – then, with a strength that sure as _hell_ did not belong to a starving ten-year old kid, locked his legs around the bigger man's waist; bringing himself under Sanji's guard into a position where it would impossible for the pirate to kick him with injuring himself.

The Strawhat cook started as he felt his pelvis creak under the pressure. "Dammit!" he cursed again, glaring as he struggled to pull away. _This kid is way stronger than he looks –!_

* * *

Vera squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her hands against her ears. _This is not happening. This is not happening, this is not happening, this is not –!_

"KICK HIM, ALREADY!" she screamed.

For a single moment, her eyes lit up completely white. Something deep inside her howled, and her body moved instinctively. She lashed out.

* * *

_Thud_.

Sanji stopped struggling.

The jaws on his forearms loosened, and slowly slid off, trailing blood as they went. _Shlick_.

There was a far quieter sound than a human body should make when it hit the ground as dead, unconscious weight. Then, there was the harsh crack of shoe on bone.

Shadows covering her eyes, Vera kicked the child's skeletal body into the carrot patch. _Whack_.

Without hesitation, she walked into the carrot patch and brought her foot down with all her strength onto the skull helmet. CRACK!

And again. And again. CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

Sanji unconsciously winced back with each report, too stunned to do anything as his student continued her ferocious assault on the thick bone that protected the child's head. Thin black lines spiderwebbed across it. The bottom jaw broke off. A chip came out of the eye socket. For almost an entire minute, the semikami stomped viciously and without hesitation.

Finally, a good piece of it shattered, leaving an opening large enough to stick the toe of her shoe into. Sanji heard her flip the helmet off like a broken eggshell. For a moment, she paused to regard the pitiful creature beneath her foot.

He didn't see the face of the child. The plants were too thick.

But above them, he did see Vera's.

An unearthly spark spun around the outside rim of her irises, blinding and white as the ball on a roulette table. She glared down at the small, bruised, bleeding body. That gaze held no mercy, nor remorse.

But the boy didn't move again.

She blew a strand of long, dark hair from her face. Sanji felt an instinctual warning buzz at the base of his own skull. He swallowed.

_V-Vera-chan…?_

Vera whirled, as if she had heard his thoughts. The cook flinched.

Then, she blinked… once, then twice. Almost confusedly, like she was waking from a trance, her eyes refocused; recognizing Sanji. The spark stuttered, spun twice more – then winked out. Slowly, her eyes widened as she had realized what she had just done.

Wordlessly, she lowered her gaze to the ground.

"Carrots are bad," she whispered in his language, taking her foot off the unconscious native. "Found some fruit near trees. We collect that, okay?"

"B-But! V-Vera-chan…"

Sanji fell silent, watching her as she moved back towards the edge of the clearing, knelt before one of the bushes, and began to place fruit in her basket. He had never been so horrified by something she had done. Rendered immobile by shock. He was absolutely _stunned_.

**…**

"Hmmm…"

Luffy raised his thumb, staring dubiously at the amazing mystery digit. "I don't get it!" he decided.

Nami stared at him flatly. A moment of silence passed – but then, the rubber man frowned and scratched his messy raven hair confusedly. "But if you say so, I _guess_ I could try it," he muttered. "Still, how is rubbing circles on a hand this more interesting than a big fish? Girls are weird!"

A vein pulsed in Nami's forehead. "OI."

Luffy stared at her innocently. "What?"

The navigator glared at her captain for a second, with that incredibly open expression and that crazy hair of his sticking up all over the place, and promptly lost all her will to be angry at him. She slumped over, suddenly exhausted; explaining romantic gestures to someone as dense as Luffy really took it out of you. Now that she thought about it – she realized as he did a motion that resembled a one-man wave – romantic gestures of any sort were extremely uncharacteristic of their asexual captain. Even if he did manage to get it right (which would be a damn _miracle_ in itself!), there was no telling how _Vera_ would react! And Luffy was just so thick –!

_I'm sorry, Vera-chan,_ she thought towards the island with a weary sigh. _I really hope I didn't just set the King of the Idiots on you…_

Luffy did the wave-motion again, his forehead scrunched up in puzzlement. "So, do I put the arm around her shoulders with my left or my right?"

Nami flopped on her side.

"Nami?"

"Ughhh…"

**.oOo.**

The air in the clearing hung with a silence palpable and heavy as the smell of the blood that rode on the wind, rustling through the leaves in the canopy far above their heads. Behind them, the body of the aboriginese boy lay motionless in the carrot patch. Above them, the boy's ferret clung to a spine on the tree trunk – aiming a dirty, calculating look down at these strange trespassers. Painfully aware of both, the cook and his student gathered fruit soundlessly from bushes at the foot of the treeline. Slowly filling their baskets.

Sanji plucked one of the round purple apples.

Then his adam's apple bounced as he swallowed. His mouth twisted. Instead of placing it in his basket, he lowered his prize, staring at the fruit in his hands with shadowed-over eyes. _What is with this tension…?_

Inner Zeff scowled. _Why the hell are you asking us?_

_You should say something dashing and insightful~! _Loverboy swooned. _Then perhaps Vera-chwan will cheer up and be so grateful to you that she will give you a ki–! _

Sanji and Zeff punched him to the ground. _SHUT UP! NOBODY ASKED YOU!_

The cook huffed and lowered his fist… but he quickly sobered, gazing back down at the ground as his mental counterparts continued their noisy squabbling in the background. His hands tightened around the fruit; he wasn't going to lie to himself. Seeing Vera-chan do such an aggressive thing… it had upset him. This really _wasn't_ like her!

Maybe… she _was_ out of control…

He snuck a glance at her. Her basket was almost full. But Vera's expression was unusually blank, her small hands picking fruit and placing it in her basket like they were on autopilot.

Sanji blinked, hesitantly directing his gaze back on the fruit bushes. He would have almost rathered she'd been seething – or even _crying_ – than seeing such a look of _apathy_ on her beautiful face. Vera was never so expressionless. She was always smiling or frowning or laughing – her wary features always a whirlwind of expression and emotion. She was the most powerful of them all in expressing their minds and their hearts; but now, she was completely void of that. And it upset him unspeakably.

But… that wasn't the only thing that had Sanji on edge.

The blonde peered over his shoulder. At the grotesquely skinny ankles of the aboriginese boy, just barely visible beyond the carrot plants.

Sanji's eyes narrowed. They reminded him of his own ankles. From eleven years ago.

_**It had been forty-seven days since he and that damn geezer had washed up on that god-forsaken rock in the middle of East Blue. Curled into a ball on that god-forsaken rock, ten-year old Sanji was positively emaciated, barely anything but skin stretched over young bones. His golden blonde hair was falling out in chunks from exposure, his cheeks hollowed out, belly swollen with starvation. His stomach had long since stopped complaining of hunger, as had most of his organs. Sanji felt like what he looked like. A dry, lifeless husk.**_

_**Slowly – taking his eyes off the ocean for the first time in over a month, for hope of seeing a ship – the boy glanced behind him, to the mound of rock that separated the sides of their little island. **_**I wonder… if that damn geezer already died…**

_**So, Sanji turned around, pulling his withered body across the rocks. Cresting the mound was torture; even crawling took more strength than he had. He had to take several breaks – but finally – he reached the top and looked over.**_

_**The boy gasped, seeing Zeff was still upright. **_**He's still alive…!**

_**And then.**_

_**Sanji saw a bag beside the old pirate. **_**And there's food, too…! There's still that much… **

_**Life returned to his long-dead eyes at the sight of the sack, still bulging with the volume of its contents. **_**There's still that much food! **

_**Anything holding him back was crushed in the hope of finally sating his hunger. Sanji raised a knife he'd managed to salvage from the wreckage – its edge glittered maliciously in the sun. **_**I'll take it no matter what! **_**he vowed**_**. This was all his fault to begin with!**

_**Saliva pooled under his leathery tongue. **__**A crazy light entered his eye. **_**I WANT TO LIVE!**

Sanji's mouth twisted at the bitter memory. Back then, he hadn't known then that Zeff's sack was stuffed with gold and jewels. Treasure. Not food. But he had had that same look of that boy when their eyes met, he knew it. That look that said he would do _anything_ to eat. Even kill.

He could _not_ ignore that.

By now, Vera had filled her basket to the brim. Wordlessly, she shifted a couple feet towards her sensei and started to help him finish his, which couldn't have been more than a quarter full. _I have to say something,_ Sanji realized, listening to the rustling of her hands at the slender branches. _I have to._

He cleared his throat. "Hey… Vera-chan."

She didn't look away from her task. "Yes?" she asked, in a voice perfectly devoid of emotion.

Sanji opened his mouth – her tone yanking mercilessly at his heartstrings, then closed it. "T-That kid," he pushed on. "I think he needs help."

"Nn," Vera agreed neutrally. She still didn't turn her face towards him. "He's hungry. Weak. He's… hurt."

Sanji raised his eyebrows. "Uhh… yeah!" he stammered, surprised that he was surprised by the semikami's answer. Then his face grew more serious; he scratched his head and looked at their harvest, torn. "I think we should take him back to the Sunny, give him something to eat. Maybe Chopper can check him out, too. Hopefully, he'll have calmed down by then and we can talk some sense into him. He might even know some stuff about the island. He _is_ a native."

The blonde cast a glance back at the vegetable patch. "The little biter warned us about the carrots, after all," he murmured, massaging his aching arm. "He can't be _all_ bad…"

Vera reached out for another apple. "I guess."

Still looking over his shoulder, Sanji thoughtlessly went for the same branch.

Their fingers brushed against each other. An electric _snap_ sparked across Sanji's hand.

"Ah!" Sanji snatched his hand back. "Oh, uh, sorry, Vera-chan!" he stammered, his cheeks turning bright pink. "I just… I didn't see you reaching there. Dammit, I'm such a shithead sometimes…!"

The semikami didn't move an inch. Zeff whacked the blonde with his pegleg. _You lovestruck ass!_ _What happened to "Sensei?!"_

_You're acting stupid, shithead!_ Loverboy yelled in his ear. _GET IT TOGETHER!_

A vein popped in Sanji's forehead. _Oh, will you two just __**shut**__**u**__–?!_

Suddenly, the young man stopped all at once, when he saw something that made his blood run cold.

Vera… was _trembling_.

Sanji's heart dropped into his stomach at the sight of his beautiful student's shaking fingers. "V-Vera-chan…?" he whispered, appalled. "Wha… What's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you all right?!"

He reached out to touch her shoulder.

* * *

Vera recoiled as if stung. "_Yamero_!" she yelled, trembling hands flying to a defensive position. Her voice faded into a whisper: "If you do that…"

Hot pressure welled up in her eyes. "I won't be able to stop them…!"

_**A/N: "Gold and Oden" One Piece OST  
**__**PRESS PLAY**_

The semikami girl pressed her hands to her mouth – as if she could physically hold in her sorrow, her confusion, her tears – and behind her, she could feel Sanji hesitate. She didn't need to turn around to see the heartbreaking look of concern on his face. It rolled off of him in waves; she could feel his gaze against her back, like the warmth the sunshine seemed to lack. But she knew if she met those incredible, all blue eyes… something inside her would break, and she would shatter into a million pieces. She felt so fragile, so lost. And she _hated_ it.

Vera leased a slow, shuddering breath, not yet out of the danger zone. "What's happening to me…?" she whispered shakily. She tried in vain to swallow the lump in her throat, feeling Sanji's worry intensify. "First Zoro…"

The kid lying in the bushes behind them. "Now this…?!"

Her nails dug into her cheeks. "What's happening?!" she wailed into her clenching palms. "What is _happening_ with me?!"

* * *

Sanji gazed, appalled, at her slender, trembling frame…

Then, he set his mouth in a decisive line – and reached again. A cool, quiet fire burned in his chest as his long, elegant fingers slid over hers, gently stroking those smaller, more delicate hands that he knew so well, trying to tell her to trust him. To let go. Vera shivered violently at his touch. She made a small, broken sound of protest that ripped at Sanji's heart; the blonde made a similar noise. And quietly drew her hands away.

He placed them on her knees, blushing slightly as he let go. "What happened with Zoro?" he asked her, trying to sound professional. If she was this upset, he couldn't have just been being stupid. He had to have done something bad.

* * *

Vera stiffened slightly.

Her hands curled into fists. "Nothing…" she murmured.

* * *

"Mm," Sanji grunted. The cook felt himself blush harder and dried his palms nervously on his pants, making a mental note to kick the shitty marimo's ass when they got back. "Hanging out with that long-nose has rubbed off on you, hasn't it?" he chuckled weakly, awkwardly scratching his nose. "You pretty little liar…"

Vera whirled.

Sanji's eyes flicked up, meeting her wide, desperate gaze with a start. "Eh? What's wro –AH?!"

The blonde yelped in surprise as his student bounced onto the balls of her feet, grabbed both his jacket lapels, and threw every last kilogram of her weight into him. Sanji could have withstood it – but he was afraid she might hurt herself if he did, so he fell back, allowing her to push him to the grass. Invisible white power kindled and exploded within his body; his back hit the ground hard, forcing the air from his lungs. Sanji coughed and spluttered as he struggled to get his breath back.

"Ah… _ow_," he wheezed. Feeling a heavy weight on his chest, the Strawhat cook pressed a hand to his forehead, winced, and looked down. "Geez, Vera-chan! Where'd that come from –?"

Sanji froze.

Vera was laying on top of him, clutching his jacket… face pressed to his chest like she would never let go.

Sanji's eyes bugged. "W-Wah? Wha… WAH!" he stuttered, turning so pink one could practically see steam wafting off his head. _WHAT IS HAPPENING, HERE?!_

Inner Zeff appeared in a puff of smoke. _This is damn inappropriate! _his voice of honor and common sense seethed, a tic pulsing in his forehead. _A student doing this to her teacher? Pick her up gently but set her straight, brat!_

Loverboy surreptitiously knocked him out of the way. _No way~! _sang his hormone representative, his entire chibi body a whirlwind of hearts and noodling. _Wrap your arms around her and tell her you love HERRRR~!_

_You're her sensei! Set her straight, it's your duty!_

_She's a lady in distress! You're her knight in shining armor! Love her~!_

_Sensei!_

_Knight~!_

_SENSEI!_

_KNIGHT!_

_HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK WITH ALL THIS DAMN NOISE?! _A bright red Sanji snapped, feeling like he was about to blow a gasket with all this arguing… not to even mention the situation!

Then, he blinked.

And glanced down again. He could only see the top of her head.

But she just looked so _fragile_. So… desperate. The argument in his own mind lost its importance at the sight. The noise faded into quiet.

Sanji swallowed.

And gingerly wrapped his arms around her, holding her more gently than he'd ever touched anything.

* * *

Vera threw her arms around his torso, hugging him as hard as she could. "Tighter!" she cried, almost begging. "Harder!"

* * *

Sanji jumped and squeezed her hard without thinking, and immediately felt a pang of remorse when she gasped in pain. "Oh shit, sorry!" he yelped. He started to loosen up. "I didn't mean –!"

* * *

"Chigau…" she breathed.

Vera unhooked her nails from the back of his suit jacket, placing her palms back on his chest. She would have bruises later, and her ribs creaked, and it was hard to breathe in his crushing hold – but it was what she'd wanted. "Better…" she huffed.

Then she relaxed, getting used to it. "This is better… koreha better…"

* * *

Sanji's brain boiled in his skull, sending steam spraying out his ears. '_Better?' 'Better?' _his mind scrambled._ What does 'better' mean?! _

Loverboy was sent flying by a nosebleed. Inner Zeff scowled. _Idiot…_

* * *

Oblivious to the Strawhat cook's internal struggle, Vera clung to her sensei's warm, strong, powerful body, breathing the scent of him – of cigarettes and seafood – taking it into her own body and taking solace in it. Sanji's natural fragrance was something she'd had to get used to; she had found it mildly disgusting at first, due to memories of inhaling the same flavors mixed with those of filthy toilets and bad B.O. in her old high school bathroom, or with oily ocean water from a particularly large and nasty fish kill in Maine she'd had the misfortune to dive into as a kid. But just as she had adjusted to her niche on the Sunny, Vera had gotten used to the scent… then liked it, then loved it. Because now, it invoked memories of long hours listening to Sanji's deep, silky purr, showing her how to adjust the oven temperature, how to dice an onion without tearing up. His laugh, and corrections made with gentle hands when she messed up. Small things like that. Then, the other side of him. The one he showed outside the kitchen; the furious, intense spark in his eye, the cocky smirks that were even hotter than his gorgeous smiles, the way he never seemed to _realize_ just how _sexy_ and _powerful_ he looked when he was fighting. Vera felt herself getting hot just from his scent…!

Truth was that in this world, behind Usopp – for platonic reasons – Sanji was her second greatest friend. But in… _**other**_ ways… Sanji was truly the one most real to her.

Vera exhaled; now out of the danger zone, but the hollow feeling inside still persisted. She emptily realized that was probably the reason she'd tackled him like this. So much was uncertain in her life. She craved comfort, certainty, solidity. Reality. Even if just for a moment of time… and here, now, she was finding it. In the sensation of chaste pressure against her sensei's solid, masculine body, feeling the length and vitality and sheer, raw _power_ that lay coiled and untapped in every line of the man that was Blackleg Sanji.

The semikami clenched her fists harder on his chest, her belly boiling with fury and frustration. Her pride told her to let go, to suck it up. But her clutching fingers would have _none_ of it.

"How girly and desperate can I get?!" Vera hissed, face burning even as she tightened her grip even more.

She was so upset, she unconsciously said it in Japanese. "Watashitoisshoni mondai wa _nanida_?!" _What is wrong with me?!_

* * *

Sanji blinked, startled. "…_What_?" he exhaled, not believing his own ears.

He glanced down again – all he could see was the top of her head, but he could have sworn she made a motion as if to look up at him – then, she seemed to change her mind.

* * *

"Betsu ni," the brunette muttered tersely, replacing her cheek to his chest. "Nothing. Nothing at _all_."

For a split second, Sanji hesitated.

Then, his arms shifted around her. Vera's breath caught as her body was pulled flush and warm against his own… and she felt the fast, frantic pulse thrumming in her ear. His heartbeat.

"N-Nani mo anata ga machigatteinai…" he stammered softly.

* * *

"N-Nothing's wrong with you…"

Sanji blushed even harder, if that was possible. "You're perfect," he whispered.

There was a second of quiet as the translating cogs began to turn. Then shuddered to a halt – and tried again; the blonde squeezed his eyes shut, struggling not to hyperventilate as he waited for her reaction. Enough time had passed for her to have translated it three times already, for heaven's sake! Sanji felt like he was going to have a shitty _heart_ _attack_…!

* * *

"Nani?" Vera asked quietly, eyes wide against his chest. "Wakarimasen." _I don't understand._

* * *

Sanji's heart stilled.

"…Oh," he deadpanned anticlimactically. His heartbeat started back up; slower than before, but still faster than its normal pace. Still slightly flushed, the cook exhaled bitterly and set his head back onto the grass with a gentle thump. He wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved that she hadn't understood him. But either way, his sudden rush of boldness – or had it been idiocy? – had vanished with the silence. He couldn't bring himself to repeat it.

Above them, the grizzled ferret stared down at the pair, riveted.

Sanji blinked at it. Then he scowled and shot it the bird; even if it was just an animal, its strangely humanlike eyes made him feel like they were being spied on.

"…Sunny?" Vera murmured.

The cook started and glanced down at the semikami girl… then his face fell. He grunted in affirmation: "Mm," he replied, sullenly moving to sit up. "I'll get the little biter." _I need to go have a word with the marimo, too –_

– _**Soundtrack End –**_

Suddenly, a twig snapped behind him.

Sanji, Vera, and the ferret froze in terror.

**…**

Back on the Sunny, Choppy looked up from packing his medical bag. "Brook's been gone a long time," he realized, glancing concernedly towards the galley. "He just drank some milk and went to take a nap, right…?"

The others barely looked up from their own activities to watch the little doctor as he padded across the deck and knocked tentatively at the door.

"Brook?" Chopper called. "Are you alive in there?"

Silence. No response.

The reindeer raised his eyebrows. _I left myself wide open for a skull joke and he doesn't say a thing?! Weird. _"I'm coming in!" he declared. He turned the knob and went inside, shutting the door behind him.

_Click_.

"GYAAAAAAH!"

_WHAM! _

Heads turned as Chopper slammed back outside, eyes wide with panic. "Everybody!" he shrieked. "Something's happened to Brook!"

"EHH?!" Usopp yelled.

Luffy and Nami popped out from behind the lion figurehead. "What?!" they yelled in unison.

A shimmering golden body hung silently above their heads, a pair of yellow, now humanoid eyes watching intently as books were closed, bags were dropped, and all the Strawhat Pirates rushed after the little tanuki. It raised its nose to the wind, inhaling deeply.

Tora's eyes slid over to the green-haired man leaned against a tree to the rear of the ship, who had been deafened to the scramble by wind, leaves, and troubled thoughts.

Her tail flicked in anticipation. Well… all the Strawhats but _one_.

The tigress crawled soundlessly to the other side of the mast, dropped into a tree, and crouched in the foliage for a moment – watching the swordsman for movement – then, slowly began to move through the brush, a ravenous light glowing in her eyes.

Meanwhile in the burnt-out galley, Luffy, Nami, Usopp, Robin, and Franky stared in disbelief at the sight of their musician.

"_Ehhhhh_?!"

Skull hanging over the back of the chair – jawbone wide open in mid-snore – was Brook, reclined and frozen in a mysterious state. Every inch of the skeleton, even his clothes, were coated in an inch-thick layer of translucent, clouded white substance; hard and solid as rock and sticking as close to his bones as muscles or skin. It had even frozen the snot bubble that ballooned from the empty hole where his nose once was, rendering it glassy and immobile about his face. His ribcage was still. He was absolutely motionless. An empty milk bottle dangled from his grip… welded to his phalanges by the bizarre white substance.

Luffy gawped. "What the heck is this?" he exclaimed. The rubber man rapped his knuckles against the stuff, producing a dull knocking sound.

_Knock knock knock knock knock!_ "Brook! Brook, wake up!" Usopp yelled. "BROOK!"

Dragon-Nami punched them both to the floor. "KNOCK IT OFF!"

Robin gazed pensively at their musician, ignoring the steaming lumps that rose on the captain's and the sharpshooter's heads. "It's possible he is unable to hear us," the archeologist mused.

Chopper peered at one of Brook's hands under a magnifying glass. "It appears to be a secreted layer of some kind… but where did it come from?"

_**A/N: "I Will Beat You" One Piece OST (Extended)  
**__**PRESS PLAY **_

Suddenly, outside – several dozen meters across the parched grey sand, where the trees began – the underbrush rustled quietly. Eyes shimmered behind the thorns. Gleaming pale points, serrated and sharper than razors, bristled in the crawling ivy. Voices murmured in a shapeless tangle of sound. Their owners stared with the restlessness, indecisiveness of hungry predators at the Thousand Sunny… a strange, colorful trespasser on their land.

Luffy raised his head off the floor. "What is that…?"

Chopper tapped at one of Brook's frozen fingers. "Well, when you secrete something it means it comes out of your body. But I have no _idea_ what kind of condition Brook would've had that his bones would produce something like _this_ –!"

"Not that!"

The rubber man jumped to his feet and ran outside. He seemed alarmed. The others started – it took a lot to offset Luffy visibly like that – then glanced wide-eyed at each other and followed him.

Accidentally leaving Sanji's emergency transponder snail sitting on the table.

**…**

_Oooooh, SHIT!_

Sanji covered Vera's mouth in case she was about to scream. Whites showed all around his eye as he saw the lithe, hulking shadow move in the carrot patch. The waist-high, feathery green tops of the plants concealed most of the beast – but the man saw powerful sinews and short, bristling fur. A whipping tail. Massive paws and hooked claws, made for tearing flesh from bone. He didn't dare move; Vera was with him. He couldn't risk a fight against something that big with her so nearby. It was a miracle the thing hadn't noticed them already! It was so close he could _hear_ it as it snuffled at something on the ground.

Suddenly, Sanji's eyes went wide as he realized. It was sniffing the kid.

Damn.

The Strawhat cook glanced frantically between his protégé's terrified expression and the place where the starving child lay being nosed by a curious maneating beast. He could concasse the animal and fillet it for lunch, no problem. But he couldn't risk drawing attention and having it attack Vera instead. But he also knew he couldn't let that kid be torn apart, not in that state; he would never forgive himself.

Then Sanji heard the sound of teeth closing around a skull helmet, and he knew he was out of time.

The blonde swore under his breath. Making sure to keep his hand over Vera's mouth, he sat up as quietly as he could, bracing his other hand on her elbow and pulling her halfway to her feet. The beast started to slowly drag the kid across the dirt back towards the treeline; Sanji's eyes flickered anxiously between her and its progress. Still crouching, he drew his student over to the concealing brush.

The man gestured toward it. "_Hide_," he whispered urgently. "Please."

Vera stared over his shoulder at the animal, fear and fighting spirit equally balanced in her gaze. Her fingers slipped around her pistol's grip. "But –!"

Damn, that was hot. But now was _not_ the time to stare and blubber like an idiot. Sanji grabbed her by the shoulders, turned her towards him, and stared straight into her eyes, letting all his protectiveness and desperation out in a single, whispered word.

* * *

"_Onegai_!"

Vera stared up at him, transfixed by the light in those incredible, all blue eyes. She hated hiding. She wanted to earn her keep. Not to mention _she_ was the one who had kicked that kid! She had to take responsibility and fight!

But…

_** Sanji threw a hand out in front of her, keeping her back from the golden tigress that had just mauled Franky. "Vera-chan, chikadzukanai!" he commanded her. **_**Stay back!**_** He gave her a pleading look. "Onegai. Tada, doko ka ni kakureru iku." **_**Please. Just go hide somewhere.**

She'd ignored him, and in one fell swoop she'd nearly killed Zoro and then almost been killed herself. And who had ended up cleaning up her mess?

"_**MUTTON... Shot."**_

That's right. Sensei.

Sanji-sensei could do much more for that kid than she ever could. She had to remember she wasn't good for anything in this crew. Just be a good little otherworlder, take their protection, take their spilled blood, take their friendship, never fight, never give back. Never bleed for them. And never question it. It was… just the way things worked.

Vera's hand slipped off her holster. "Hai, sensei," she whispered, defeated.

She backed into the bushes like a good little girl, gently tugging her arm free of Sanji's warm hand. _"_Kiotsukete, sensei. Watashi wa matte."

* * *

"Be careful, sensei. I wait."

That was the first time. The first time Sanji felt a strange pang of bitterness at being called nothing but 'sensei.'

The cook gazed at her half-lidded eyes… and suddenly felt like he was going to explode in frustration. He didn't want to leave her! He wanted to talk to her, tell her everything was all right, that she wasn't so helpless!

…But he had no time.

Sanji broke their eye contact before he could change his mind and darted across the clearing, keeping low and fast to the ground.

* * *

Now hidden among the leaves and slender, spiky vines, the semikami girl curled up into a ball to make even less of a target of herself, that empty feeling called helplessness returning in force as Sanji moved towards the vegetable patch. _I just don't want him to get hurt either…_

* * *

**…**

Luffy's palms smacked into the rail, catching himself before he crashed into it, his eyes flickering warily from side to side… scanning the shore for the disturbance he'd felt. Like a half-blind person who had their glasses taken away, his power of Observation was hazy to a ridiculous point – one big blob of mixed color and motion, if there was any – but he could tell when something moved. But something in the air –! It was like when Vera's power blocked his Haki abilities. He'd have to find them line-of-sight.

His crew assembled behind him, expressions ranging from vaguely worried to downright scared. "Luffy…?!" Chopper squeaked.

**…**

Sanji's guts shivered with nerves as he crossed the clearing.

Once, Brook had described being able to sense otherworlders was like being the magnet of a compass rose, pulling his mind in a single direction no matter which way he turned his body – and in this moment, the Strawhat cook knew exactly what their musician had meant. Even now as he was moving away from her, Sanji felt himself orienting his body differently than he normally would. He was so aware of her location it bordered on painful. Like the commands to his legs came from the space around _her_, not his own brain. He didn't like this…

_Focus!_ he ordered himself.

The blonde forced his eyes back to the carrot patch. _The sooner you take care of this, the sooner you can get back to her._

**…**

At the sight of an ensemble of colorful pirates aboard the trespassing ship, the mass of dreadlocks and razor-sharp spearheads erupted from cautious whispers to agitated murmurs, growing progressively louder. Hungrier. More aggressive. Yipping war cries echoed across the desert beach.

Luffy's ears pricked up.

The rubber man's head whipped up to the treeline. "There!" he yelled, pointing.

The Strawhats looked… and balked as a swarm of humanoid figures darted out from the bushes. There were only a few at first, but suddenly there were dozens, maybe hundreds of them! Rushing towards the Sunny with jerky, almost insect-like motions – like robots whose joints hadn't been oiled in years. But their speed was positively inhuman. By the time the main mass of them exited the trees only half a second after the leading three or four, the ones who had lunged first had already transgressed _half_ the distance between the trees and the Sunny.

Usopp, Nami, and Chopper screamed. Franky yelped, automatically scrambling for his rocket launcher but nearly passing out when his mauled shoulder reopened in a burst of blood; the shipwright bit back a scream and doubled over, his face taut with pain.

Chopper saw it. "Franky!"

**…**

Reclined against a mikan tree, Zoro huffed quietly and put his hands behind his head.

Leaves rustled in the wind, filling his ears with their whispers. A lovely breeze – cool as autumn but warmed by the sun – caressed his face and ran gentle fingers over his hair. Even if the air was heavy with the musky, coppery stench of blood, it was a beautiful day, and under any other circumstances the swordsman might have dozed off right then and there.

"_**Sometimes I even wonder if that grasshead even has a **_**speck**_** of humanity left in him."**_

Zoro growled to himself. He didn't even know the chijo knew how to say "humanity," let alone form a sentence in their language like that!

"What possessed her to _say_ something like that?" the swordsman muttered hotly to himself.

He closed his good eye, oblivious to the tigress slowly closing in on him. "And questioning my _humanity_? There's a limit to how unreasonable a person can be!"

**…**

Robin crossed her arms over each other. "_Seis Fleur_!"

Three pairs of arms sprouted in a flutter of petals on the shoulders of the three leaders of the pack, who were not even a dozen yards away from the Sunny – so close she could see the starving, manic lights in their eyes. Hands gripped their jaws.

"_Clutch_!" The arms twisted, breaking their necks and sending them sprawling to the sand.

Robin lowered her hands, reopening her eyes to watch the follower's reactions. "There," she murmured, a measure of relief evident in her voice. "Now at least they'll hesitate before attacking us –"

Crunch.

A foot broke the nose of one of the fallen.

The beings continued to rush the Sunny, running around and over the bodies of their comrades without a single look. One of them hit a corpse lengthwise, tripped, and was scrambling to get back up before he even hit the ground. Their wide, bulging eyes never left the Strawhats. No pity, no mourning, not even caution. Just that terrifying, maniac energy that dragged their bony, distended limbs like the strings of a puppetmaster.

Robin balked. "_What_…?"

**…**

Sanji ducked soundlessly behind the rustling green stems. He was close to the beast now, so close he could hear the harsh, wet sounds of its lungs, the shift of short, razor claws through the soil… the strange hissing noise that it was making. It silhouette seemed a lot bigger from just behind a flimsy curtain of plants. It had to be at least three times Sanji's size.

The cook took a deep breath, feeling the familiar sensation of adrenaline dumping into his veins. His heart beat harder, faster with anticipation; he had beaten things more than ten times his size, even without the element of surprise.

**…**

Zoro shifted, glaring crossly at the dark cobalt skies. "Why am I even stressing about something that chijo said anyway…?" he admonished himself quietly.

Hidden in the brush, Tora ran her tongue over her full lips. She took the final step that would take her within optimum pouncing distance, that powerful surge of her legs that nothing and no one could avoid at close range, almost drooling as she pictured sinking her teeth into all that _meat_ –!

Distracted, she made an elementary mistake. She stepped on a twig.

**…**

Sanji opened glinting blue eyes. He was the predator now.

Hearing the monster drag its prize a few more feet, he realized that before beating the shit out of this thing, he'd have to make it let go or risk maiming the kid. The man glanced around, looking for something to attract its attention, and spotted a good-sized rock lying in the grass. He picked it up.

He bounced it in his palm – gauging the weight – and chucked it across the clearing.

It bounced off a tree with a sharp report. Smack!

Immediately, the beast's head whipped up. _Six steps should be enough_, Sanji thought, going completely still as he heard it drop the kid and take the first step.

Thud. _One_.

A pause, a wet whuffling of the air… then another thud. _Two_.

Tmp tmp tmp! Sanji raised an eyebrow at the unexpected skittering of steps_. Um, five._

He braced his hands against the grass, powerful legs tensing as he prepared to spring. It had to be almost completely out of the patch by now. _One more step…!_

**…**

_Snap_!

Zoro's eye flew open.

Her element of surprise gone, Tora snarled a violent curse, lunged from the bushes, and went for his throat.

**…**

…_Thud_.

_**SIX!**_

Sanji roared a war cry and launched himself into the air, somersaulting forward and tensing his leg. "TAKE THIS, BASTARD!" he yelled. "CONCASSER!"

The monster turned its head in confusion… just in time to receive the full force of Sanji's heel slamming down right between its eyes. The Strawhat cook grit his teeth – the thing was sturdier than he'd thought it would have been – but followed through, throwing it hard against the short-thorned spikes of the trees, full across the clearing, with a massive impact. _BAM_!

Sanji spun in the aftermath of his attack, placing his shoes back to the grass gentle as a butterfly's wings. Tap.

He glared. "That's what you get for –"

Then, suddenly, the dust cleared. And Sanji's bravado transformed into nothing less than wide-eyed shock as he got his first real look at an animal of their mystery island.

**…**

A yellow-gold blur streaked from the bushes in the corner of his eye; Zoro automatically turned, arms shooting forward to meet whatever force was coming at him… and come it did. With a bone-shattering impact of fur, coiled sinews, and flashing teeth, it slammed into him with enough force to uproot the mikan tree he was leaning against. Zoro started, choking in surprise as the trunk creaked alarmingly – then gave against his back, sending both the swordsman and his unidentified enemy sprawling to the deck in a flurry of dirt, leaves, and swearing. A shot of fiery pain lanced up his arms and back; beads of cold sweat popped up on Zoro's forehead. The marimo bit back a cry – muscles straining with the unexpected agony – as razor teeth snapped wildly at his face. But with one superhuman heave, he threw his assaulter off of him, leapt to his feet, and whirled in anticipation of the next attack…!

Zoro gaped for a moment at the sight of the thing that had just tried to tear his throat out. "Chijo –?!"

Then he cut himself off as he saw the long, feminine, tiger-esque body. The golden hide, dark stripes. The tail. But its face was the thing that threw him for a loop.

It was Vera's face. With long, tousled blonde hair, predatory teeth, and murderous yellow eyes.

**…**

Sanji gaped at the monster lying in a heap, his hair blown back in a foreboding, blood-scented wind.

He had expected these island animals to resemble a dog, or a bear, or something he could have discerned. At least the tigress that had attacked Franky was recognizable!

But this thing was a freak of _nature_. The giant, blood-encrusted head of a human baby topped a body of the like Sanji had never seen even in his most twisted nightmares. With the forelegs of a horse, the bare-breasted torso of a woman, and the great, heavy paws of a brown grizzly, spotted, rotting pink tentacles writhed against the monster's back, like a diseased octopus torn from water. Fur, naked skin, and armored scales speckled the body haphazardly; three tumors fighting for their piece of the pie. A scorpion tail distended from its scaled rear – but instead of a barb, the appendage was tipped with the spitting head of a live viper.

Suddenly, both heads snapped up, turning bulbous, milky eyes onto Sanji.

**…**

Luffy wheeled backwards, eyes wide as he tried to give himself room. Even their captain barely had enough time to enter a fighting position, but at this range, he could discern what they were with what little accurate Haki he could still use.

Zoro gripped his katana, glowering at the morphing tigress that had injured Franky. "You!"

Sanji's jaw dropped, horrified. "Holy hell –?!"

"_**CANNIBALS**_!" Luffy screamed.

Then their enemies were on top of them, and the Strawhat Pirates were in yet another fight for their lives.

**…**

With those unseeing, eerie eyes focused on him, Sanji retreated a step without thinking.

Suddenly, it raised its big, bristly head to the heavens – and released a high, keening wail from its throat that raised goosebumps all over the golden-haired man's body. Sanji clamped his hands over his ears; a dozen yards behind him, Vera did the same from the safety of her hiding place. The cry echoed around and around the clearing – into the skies – deafening in the sudden silence and unbearable as fingernails scraping down a blackboard, long after it had closed its mouth.

Sanji cringed, waiting for the last echo to fade before his lowered his hands. All was silent again.

"…Why the hell did you scream?!" he barked, his nervousness coming through in anger. "I just –!"

Suddenly, a quiet rustling made his blood run cold.

Sanji slowly. Looked. Around.

More were coming out… they were coming from all sides. There had to be at least ten of them now, and although none of them were the same as the first, each one was equally as frightening, outlandish, freakish. Wet, snotty animal noses snuffled towards him. Bulbous and sunken eyes were slick in their sockets. Body parts wiggled and jittered like hungry tumors. He heard one's stomach growl. Another ran a tongue over its blackened teeth.

The Strawhat cook looked back at the first one… and realized with a sinking feeling.

It hadn't been screaming. It had been calling for backup.

As soon as he looked away, the first of the new arrivals released a hooting, guttural sound somewhere between a howler monkey and a vulture. It threw itself at Sanji faster than the eye could follow. There was no graceful way to avoid an attack like that. The blonde yelled and dropped to the grass, acidic smell burning in his nostrils as the thing's claws barely grazed his ribcage.

_Shit!_ Sanji swore silently, wincing at the pain.

He touched it; his fingertips came away bloody. _A second later and that bastard would have been punctured my lung…!_

Then, another lunged. The cook yelled and rolled away – again suffering another near miss at the swipe of the claws. He tried to get to his feet to fight back, but these things were smart predators, and came at him so fast it was all he could do to not get slashed open like some party piñata!

Suddenly, as he was turning, Sanji caught a glimpse of Vera's eyes watching him from her hiding place. The semikami had covered her mouth to muffle the sound of any involuntary gasp, and the light in her gaze might be interpreted as frightened… but the skin around her eyes was tight with intensity.

She was worried for his wellbeing. But she was also confident, beyond a doubt, that he would win.

A new fire ignited in Sanji's chest.

"_Screw this shitty ballet_!" he yelled.

The cook whirled on the monster flying through the air and kicked it, too, straight between the eyes. BAM! CRASH!

He shot the rest of them both middle fingers. "Come at me!" he challenged, launching himself into the air. Mid-flip, he spun furiously on his toes. "_SKY_ _WALK_!"

Both legs ignited in scarlet flame. "_Diable_ _Jambe_!"

He turned in the air to face his enemy. "_Poêle á Frire…!_"

**…**

_Peep peep peep!_

Jackal's messy black hair popped up from under his desk, where he'd been foraging popcorn from when he'd tossed it everywhere. "What what what tiz dis?!" he demanded of his old dinosaur monitor. "What doth thou wantest, _dick_?!"

The young man jumped into his spinny chair and started rocking back and forth, jittering spasmodically as he pulled up another screen. This one was a simple black screen with a glowing green grid pattern, set over a rough outline of his island – no terraform or anything fancy like that, he'd had to make this program from scratch – where pulsing red dots were scattered randomly across. Tracking beacons… or more specifically, the tracking beacons set in Jackal's special shock collars. Some moved, some didn't. Some hadn't moved for weeks. Those ones were probably dead; he made a mental note to go collect those old collars whenever he went out next. Making new ones was always a pain.

Still, today there was a large cluster of beeping lights massing around a certain point on the map. Jackal knew the land well enough to see the landmark they were accumulating around.

He pushed a fuzzy kernel between his lips, crunching on it. "Hm! Beasties are lively near Suicide Patch today."

The scientist tapped a few more keys. "Proooooobably just a yahoo dinking around the veggies, but ahm bored!" he declared. "Less have a looksee~!"

He pressed one last button.

A green light lit up onscreen, and a window appeared next to it. Images started to appear in it as, across the island, a small, brackish-yellow transponder snail came to life; supplying a fuzzy video feed back to the structure on the volcano. At first, all Jackal could see was green… but as the little creature slithered around the tree's thorned bark – for which it was bred to camouflage with – he started to see the beginnings of natural sunlight. In a moment, he'd see what was happening in that little ol' clearing…

The first thing that caught his attention was a significant lack of yahoos dinking around the veggies.

**…**

"_SPECTRE_!"

The Strawhat cook launched a blinding flurry of flying, fiery kicks down at the monsters just as they lunged up at him, the flames of his heated legs twisting and burning so bright they appeared in a spectacular rainbow spectrum – blasting the mutants away like chaff in the wind.

* * *

Vera's eyes lit up.

She quietly lowered her gaze; trying to contain the bubbling spring that was Fangirl in her chest, but failing and finally deciding to settle with sharing a secret smile with herself, from her hiding place in the bushes. This was exactly what she had been thinking about earlier.

That cocky smirk… he probably didn't even know he was wearing it. That power… he was focusing it, not aware of how incredible he looked in her eyes.

_Enough of that!_ Inner Vange scolded her, slapping her sister upside the head. _You sound like a lovestruck heroine from some sappy romantic novel!_

Vera sighed. She had no defense for that. _I do, don't I? _

She held in a laugh. _ It's almost embarrassing to listen to myself, isn't it –?_

Then, Vera happened to turn her head to the side – and was met with the bulbous white eyes of the first monster Sanji had fought. That was when she noticed for the first time that it was no longer among its cronies. No.

It had been slinking up behind her.

It opened its jaws so wide she could see its glistening green tonsils. Stinking breath washed over her. She was too horrified even to scream…!

* * *

**…**

"Oooh, shiny lights!" the scientist cooed.

The transponder snail's vision started to trawl over, away from the explosions taking over the center of the clearing and towards the edges, showing the rustling fruit bushes. "I wonder if that's what my Beasties are playing with… oh, look! It's a little person in the bushes!"

He pressed the zoom key. "Hellooo, little person –!"

Suddenly, Jackal stopped.

He blinked.

He pressed the zoom key again.

The transponder snail's eyes bugged bigger… and bigger… and bigger, until Vera's wide-eyed, terrified face filled the entire screen. The young man clicked freeze.

And stared.

And stared.

Then, Jackal burst out into giggles. "Is it my birthday _already_?" he wondered aloud.

The dark-haired man braced his bare feet against his desk and pushed off, bumping across the stone slabs of his private office floor to a special dresser he kept on the opposite side. Humming a merry little tune, he turned and opened it.

"Hyo dearest?" the Marine scientist called sarcastically, reaching inside. He pulled out an otherworlder-brand, custom-fitted M40 sniper rifle, with a gleaming wood stock and well-polished steel.

The madman checked the barrel for his _special_ ammunition and lined up the sights. "We're going out~!"

**…**

"OH, NO YOU DON'T!"

_**SLAM!**_

About to take a chunk out of the semikami's side, the baby-headed monster was met with the full brunt of Sanji's fiery leg. Blonde hair floating in the wake of his attack, Sanji smiled back at Vera – who stared back at him like the savior he was.

"I got you," he murmured.

The brunette's expression abruptly changed. She opened her mouth, then closed it. Her brows furrowed, almost as if in confusion…

But finally, she heaved a sigh.

And gave him a smile and a little thumbs up.

_HISSSSS! _

But just then, the snake head on the monster's tail – the one that both of them had forgot about – whipped around and sank its poisonous fangs deep into Sanji's cried out; gritting his teeth in pain, he reached back with his other foot, clamped the second head between his shoes, and neatly snapped its neck.

The first head screamed in that high-pitched, unearthly sound from before and skittered away, dragging its rear against the ground.

The blonde collapsed heavily to one knee. "_Shit_! More backup?!"

Vera rushed to his side, gaping like a fish. Her hands fluttered weakly at his leg, as if she was afraid to touch his wound. "Sensei. _Leg_!" she stuttered. "I… what…?!"

Sanji rubbed his leg. He blanched visibly, cold sweat popping out on his forehead. "N-No big deal!" he lied. His leg burned and froze and itched and tingled all at the same time. But mostly… it just hurt like hell; it felt like someone had dropped one of the marimo's dumbbells on his calf from a thousand feet, then stuck a stick of dynamite in the wound and set it off. He could honestly say he had never in his life felt a poison this strong.

_What kinda snake was that?! I might be in trouble, here!_ he realized.

But he swallowed his panic and tried to smile at Vera. "Little visit with Chopper and I'll be right as rain…!" he assured her breathlessly.

Suddenly, Sanji heard a twig snap.

He edged forward, gripping his student by the shoulders. "But more importantly…"

Before she could protest, the Strawhat cook spun around, grabbed her legs, and yanked her up onto his back. Vera squeaked in surprise. Her arms wrapped around his neck. Barely six hundred yards into the forest, Sanji heard ten more monsters coming his way. _Fast_.

So he'd have to be faster.

He braced himself to run. "I have to get you out of here!"

Then he was off like a shot. From the very first step, his poisoned limb screamed in protest with ropes of icy, itching fire spreading all the way up to his hip. He hissed in pain, both legs nearly buckling from under him. He couldn't tell if Vera's semikami powers were negating the poison or making it worse!

_I can't take the off chance it's the former!_ he thought, as he forced himself to straighten his knees and run for all he was worth. _If now isn't the time to use __**that**__, I don't know when!_

* * *

"W-wait!" Vera yelled, loosening her arms around his neck. "That's it, isn't it?! My power or whatever it is weakens you, right?! Let me down! Onegai! I'll run back to the Sunny, I'll do _something_ –!"

She aimed a glance backward and quickly wished she hadn't. She was terrified, yes. But she fully meant what she said…!

* * *

Sanji could not _believe_ what he was hearing.

"LIKE HELL!" he roared, and slammed on his emergency signal.

**…**

Its counterpart on the Thousand Sunny lit up, peeping urgently in the silence beside Brook's pearly white form.

But it had been forgotten on the kitchen table. No one was there to hear it.

Outside, Luffy suddenly yelped in pain as three sets of teeth grabbed onto his shoulder, his arm, and the thickest part of his thigh. Boney hands gripped him, surprisingly powerful as they rotated their jaws. Luckily, since their teeth weren't that sharp Luffy's flesh absorbed most of the force and remained intact past the point where normal muscle would break.

The rubber man sucked in a breath. "Gomu Gomu no…!"

He blew his body up into a bulging orb. "BALLOON!"

He had expected that the sudden expansion of his body would throw them off – but it didn't! They continued to chew at his rubber skin, still trying to take off a bite.

Luffy deflated and braced a fist against the ground. "Stubborn bastards! Fine! _Gear_ _Second_!"

A wave of force rippled down his arm, then pulsed back into his body. In a flash, his skin had acquired a throbbing red glow. "Gomu Gomu no… JET BALLOON!"

He expanded again – so fast that if you'd blinked, you would have missed it – and deflated.

His passengers were nowhere to be seen.

_Splash. Splash. Splash._

Three tiny figures splashed into the ocean near the horizon. Oh, there they were.

Luffy huffed and released Gear Second, whipping his head from side to side. "Omaera, watch it!" he warned his nakama over the noise. "These guys are skinny, but they're a lot stronger than they look!"

"_Kyaaah_!"

On the other side of the deck, Nami cried out. Her breasts bounced frantically as she struggled in the grip of a dozen cannibals, hungry mouths coming at her from every side. They had her arms and legs pinned to the ground, she couldn't even smack them with her Climatact! "Get them _off_!" she wailed, feeling one of them yanking at her log pose –!

"_Pistol_!"

WHAM! A rubber fist bashed one of her assaulters in the jaw. The navigator pulled her arm up, summoning lightning from her weapon. "Thunder Tempo!" she shrieked, and electrocuted the drooling cannibals off of her.

She got up; Luffy smacked his way through the melee to her side. "You okay?!" he yelled.

Nami panted, brushing herself off. "They just keep _coming_!" she gasped, watching as the victims of her Thunderbolt Tempo already twitched, starting to get back up. "They won't stay _down_! Where's Zoro at a time like this?!"

"I don't know!" Luffy raised his voice. "ZORO! GET OVER HERE!"

He punched out another knot of bodies starting to converge on them. Behind him, a younger native warrior snuck around the mass of combat and crept up the stairs, to the aft deck and the gardens.

**…**

Zoro whirled at the sound of his captain's shout. _What did he say? Cannibals?!_

The tigress bared her fangs and lunged again. The swordsman felt it more than saw it, but by the time he turned, those huge, scything jaws – in such familiar housing – were barely an inch from his face. So close he could see the bits of human meat stuck between the monster's carnivorous molars. His eyes widened. He didn't have time to dodge…!

Zoro turned his head to the side. Everything seemed to move in slow motion…

Teeth opened a ragged line of pain on his cheek.

Then Tora flew past him. He hadn't been able to fully dodge. She'd taken a small chunk out of his cheek, just where his ear joined the hinge of his jawbone. Still Zoro raised his swords and spun in anticipation of the next attack, even as he felt warm blood course down his jaw.

Suddenly, there was a blood-curdling scream.

The swordsman turned, holding his blades at the ready… and froze when he saw that his enemy had fallen on another; a young, slender, half-naked boy that could only be one of the natives. His eyes flickered past Zoro's as he screamed. He couldn't have been a day past eighteen, and it was obvious he was aware of Zoro's presence. The light in his eyes was frantic, desperate. But only for his spear, which had fallen next to him. He grasped at it like it was the only thing he could rely on to save him.

Then, Tora realized she was on top of another meal. Maybe not as meaty as her original target, but it was here. Why waste it?

She kicked away his spear – which he was desperately trying to reach – raised a fist, and brought it down, smashing his ribcage like an eggshell.

Zoro balked as the young boy's muscles did a full-body spasm. Their eyes accidently met.

His head bashed against the grass, twitched, then lay still. The native twitched once more… then stared sightlessly up into the sky, jaw working silently even if he had no more lungs to scream with – then, he seemed to resign himself, closed his mouth, and died without a sound.

Not once had he cried for help.

Tora hooked her claws into the splintered remains of his torso and _ripped_. There was a sound a human being should only hear in a high school dissection lab – when the disgusting one only made a small cut, then gripped the two flaps of flesh and went to town. Tearing skin, sinews snapping from their bearings, bones breaking like toothpicks under the strength of a superior being.

Then, sounds that not even one could hear in a dissection lab. The small hiss of hot, fresh inner organs depressurizing under exposure to the air. Ridiculous volumes of blood pooling up and over clawed hands, dripping onto the grass like maple syrup over a ten-year old's morning pancakes who might as well have stuck a straw into the bottle.

And the munching, squelching, tearing of Tora burying her face into her prey. Gorging herself on the young boy's ruptured guts.

The smell was _horrendous_.

Zoro took a step back, swallowing an acidic substance that came up from his stomach. No being produced by nature behaved like this. He had seen men gored by wild boars, attacked by snakes, he had even accidentally come across a group of vultures consuming a baby deer when he was a kid. But the only thing he could compare something having such a sheer _spite_ and _viciousness_ towards its prey was when he had just left his home island… and he had given a sound paddling to a group of young boys throwing rocks at a puppy. Like they went out of their way to make it scream. Like they had received _power_ from its pain.

Human spite. Animal ferocity.

Zoro shielded his nose from the ungodly smell of broken intestine. _Just what the hell _is_ that thing?!_

"ZORO!" came Luffy's yell from the lawn deck. "GET OVER HERE!"

The swordsman looked over the waving leaves of the mikan trees, then back at the feeding monster. It looked pretty distracted by its meal. He grit his teeth – and obeyed his captain's orders. He pulled out all three swords, sticking one in his mouth and rattling down the steps to the main battle.

Tora spared a moment to watch him go.

Then promptly went back to her meal. _Snap! Crunch!_

**…**

"_Tatsumaki_!"

_KAFLOOM! _Zoro entered the battle with a devastating dragon's twister. Natives flew on his wake like dead leaves as the swordsman plowed through boney bodies to reach his nakama; finally, he put his back to Luffy's.

The captain aimed a grin at him. "Where have you been?!"

The first mate shifted his grip on his katana, making their long, deadly edges flash in the sun. "Doesn't matter," he replied tersely. "I'm here now, aren't I?"

Luffy's smile stretched wider. "Shishishishi~! Yeah, you are!"

He turned back to the mob of their enemies. "Wanna help me kick these guys' asses?"

Zoro's teeth tightened in a deadly grin around Wado's hilt, relishing the familiar rush as adrenaline dumped into his veins. "With pleasure, _Captain_."

They both launched themselves into battle, with the unbridled ferocity and powerful techniques that were defining of only members of the Strawhat Pirate's infamous Monster Trio. With Zoro at work, the odds quickly turned in their favor. The enemy fell even faster than they could get up. A few more minutes and this struggle would become their win. It was just a matter of time.

**…**

However, on the island, Sanji staggered. _Why aren't they answering…?!_

The golden-haired man gasped for breath. His vision was getting foggy, and dark, and he could hardly tell which way was forward anymore. But the beasts behind him were getting closer and closer; he had no choice but to keep running at full pelt. By this point, he had no idea where he was going – the only thing anchoring him to consciousness was the soft, warm weight on his back.

_I have to… I have to…!_

* * *

Vera looked up and gasped. Just ahead, there was another break in the trees. But this one didn't lead to a clearing.

They were heading straight for a cliff!

"SANJI, ABUNAI!"

* * *

Sanji's eyes flew back open at the warning. He saw it and tried to stop… but it was too late.

Vera let go. The edge crumbled.

For that instant in time before they fell, the cook and the semikami gazed over a great lake. Littered with the wreckage of a hundred broken ships – surrounded by cliffs and razor-sharp rocks – sunlight cast a harsh contrast of brightness and shadow over the dark red water. Torn sails trailed in a coagulated layer of scabby black that sat on top of the surface like the algae on a pond. It had to be a foot thick, by the looks of it, and about the consistency of pudding. Staining everything the color of passionate violence; the deepest red-black. But the air…

The air stank of death.

Then gravity took over.

Vera lifted free of his shoulders, and they began to plummet the two hundred feet towards the water.

Sanji cast his eyes down, feeling a trace of panic through the growing numbness when he saw that they were going to land between the jagged spires of two wrecked ships. If they hit that, at this speed –?! He attempted to reach up to find his student's ankles so he could pull her to safety somehow… but all his fingers could manage was a weak twitch.

And then it was too late.

_KAFLOOM!_

The two Strawhats landed with an impact massive enough to drive the two ships apart, creating a small tidal wave through the foul, stinking water. When the vessels slammed back together, Sanji's vision went black for a second – feeling like his right foot had just been crushed in a bear trap. Everything went silent.

Slowly… his vision returned.

The blonde blinked hazily, opening his eyes to gaze upon another world… the bizarre world of a crimson underwater abyss, where the ruby sunset was constant, and every direction was up. Dark worms with pinkish eyes and armored scales floated in endless circles, oblivious to the passing of time. His shimmering golden hair floated in the absence of gravity. A vast abyss yawed beneath him; a black wormhole in the sky.

Bubbles floated past his face.

He glanced down.

Far, far below him, Vera was sinking towards that hungry mouth. Her eyes were closed, having been knocked unconscious by the impact. Sea monsters uncurled from the darkness… poking their noses forward, interested and hungry. Coming to examine this strange trespasser in their world of red.

"_**The blood in this water…!" Nami-san had whispered. "It draws marine predators. But there is no way normal fish can survive in this kind of environment, so they're forced to feed on each other. And anything else they can possibly find. Entering that water would be suicide for a human."**_

_No!_

Summoning all of his remaining strength, Sanji struck out to save his student…

But something pulled up short. Bubbles exploded from his mouth before he could close it; the blonde man clamped his hands down over his mouth and twisted in the water, trying to see what was keeping him back.

His foot was stuck between the wreckage of the two ships.

Goosebumps rose on Sanji's skin. _Oh no…_

The Strawhat cook took his hands off his mouth, yanking at his leg with all he had, trying to jerk it free… but to no avail. He was stuck. Very stuck. This was bad. He was screwed! How was he gonna get out of this –?!

Suddenly, something caught his eye. Slowly, he turned to look at it fully.

Floating just above him – just within reach – was an old iron anchor, attached to a length of sturdy chain.

He stared at the anchor like a deer in headlights.

He looked at his trapped foot.

Then back at his student. He was running out of air. In a moment, she'd be out of reach forever.

From there, there was only a moment of hesitation.

Sanji grabbed the anchor.

But suddenly, something sliced through the water. A mosquito bite of pain pricked his hand. The blonde blinked blankly, and glanced at it.

A tranquilizer dart.

_Well, shit…_ he thought weakly. He gazed down at Vera's face, wanting it to be the last thing he saw as the cool serum spread through his veins, tipping him over the edge.

Darkness closed in around Sanji. He blacked out.

**…**

Bringing his rifle back up, Jackal peered over the edge to see how things were going, eyebrows raised at the height. "_Dayyyum_, that's a long drop!" he exclaimed. "Hope they're not dead already and I just wasted a dart on Curly…"

The dark, lithe creature beside him coughed impatiently.

The mad scientist waved a dismissive hand back at him. "Oh, yeah yeah, don't get yer panties in a wad, Hyo! I'm on it."

He reached into a pocket, fishing around for a moment before pulling out what looked like a remote… which was, well, because it _was_. Like all his tech, it was a hybrid of Navy circuits and his own handiwork, so it didn't look very futuristic. It was clunky, with only a rough barrier of thin, fused steel plates to protect the chips and wires beneath. A smudged black screen was fitted on the front, along with a number pad and a dozen-odd buttons in a row down the side. A big red switch stuck out from the side of the device.

Jackal tapped his temple with it, his face screwed up in concentration. "Now what were those serial numbers? Oh, right! Let's try setting threeee…"

He punched in a couple numbers on the number pad, punching three of the colored buttons. They lit up. Smiling in success, Jackal aimed the remote and pulled the switch.

The surface of the dark red lake sparked. Deep in the water, the monsters that were investigating Vera suddenly twitched away as a short burst of electricity lit up the collars around their necks, shocking them. Most of their appetites were curbed; the huge, mutated serpents slowly turned and swam away.

Jackal's face lit up. "Yay yay, I finally got it right! Kahaha~!"

He turned back to the mob of creatures rustling, hissing, growling in the darkness. The same mob that had been chasing their guests so viciously moments ago was suddenly shifty, nervously docile at the sight of one slender human man and his dark, green-eyed panther pet.

Jackal waved them forward cheerfully. "Fetch!" he commanded the hoard.

There was a noticeable moment of hesitation. Hyo's ears flicked back. His narrow, glowing eyes widened in warning at the lesser beings.

They hissed and shrank back.

Finally, one – the baby-headed, viper-tailed beast that Sanji had first kicked – hacked, vomited a foamy white slop into the thorns, and rushed forward. It ran past Jackal's cheery face and threw itself without hesitation off the cliff, extending its bizarre limbs extended in all directions in an attempt to steady its fall. More followed.

They landed with a painful-sounding smack on the gelatinous surface of the bloody lake. Then, wriggling beneath it, they slipped through the thick, cold, slimy layer to enter the water. Monsters surrounded Sanji's motionless form. Two gripped him while six more pried open the jaws of the ship that imprisoned his leg. They pulled him out and rose to the blinding, sunlit opening in the cloudy crimson surface; three others swam deeper, wrapping an unconscious Vera in a cocoon of tentacles before doing the same.

Seeing them emerge back into the air, Jackal held up his hand. "Alrighty, that's good!" he called. "Bring 'em up, then take 'em to the House!"

They growled, snarled, burped in affirmative from far below.

There was a second of awkward silence.

Then, his smile grew wider. The Marine scientist turned on his knees to face the remaining members of the hoard. "Hey!"

Jackal giggled, beckoning them with a finger. "Keehee! C'mere. I got a _special_ job for you guys."

The beasts, again, hesitated… but one look at Hyo made them grumbled and shamble forward, collecting around their island's master in some kind of twisted, horror-movie version of the kindergarten semicircle around the teacher. "Those two come from a _magical_ ship docked just a couple miles away from here~! I'm gonna make it so they can't sail away. Go help 'em onto shore, kay? They're _happy_ _guests_, now! So no biting!"

Hyo rolled his eyes. Jackal liked to pretend the Beasties could understand his baby-talk. It was almost pitiful to watch.

"Chow on the natives if you want, but munching on our pirates friends is a big no-no!" the dark-haired man sang, waggling a finger naughtily at the mutants.

Then, he turned gleaming black eyes toward Hyo. "You go with them," he purred. "The Beasties have their orders~! Make sure our guests get safely to the House, kay?"

The dark, monstrous being almost jerked back with indignance. Orders?! Anyone sane could tell the Beasties couldn't even begin to understand the delicacies of human speech. All they could do was grunt and scream and eat and poop. The panther was mildly disgusted just being around such brainless, driveling drones. He still wondered why Jackal even bothered keeping them around after all these years.

But, Hyo snapped his razor teeth at Jackal and went to obey. An order from the master was not to be disobeyed.

"Awwww, grouchy kitty!" Jackal cooed. "So cute~!"

He flitted his fingers at the panther in goodbye. "See ya back home!" he sang.

Hyo hung his head and moved into the darkness of the forest, followed by the drooling, spitting hoard of Beasties. He really had to reconsider his taste in masters.

When Hyo was gone… something changed in Jackal's eyes.

The cold, murderous light ignited again. A psychotic grin stretched his face. The white became visible all the way around his tar-black irises, gleaming crazily. The Marine scientist raised his remote again – pressing every single button on the side.

"Setting 13…!"

Rough, unpolished fingertips tapped out the keys on the number pad. "Serial zeeero… zeeeero.. zeeeero… _six_!"

The digits 0006 appeared on the screen. Behind him, the old grey ferret squeaked in alarm, turned, and fled through the trees toward the coast. It knew what was coming.

"And easy as that…" Jackal chuckled. "RELEASE THE KRAKEN."

He flipped the switch.

_Snap_.

**…**

For a second, Luffy thought the world was ending.

The ocean beneath the Sunny lit up with glowing white with electricity, sending lightning bolts towards the cobalt sky instead of from it, for once. The hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up at the painful, hissing crackle that filled the air. Everything seemed to dim in comparison, growing dark.

Then, as quickly as it had come, the lightning vanished.

For a long moment, Cannibals and Strawhats alike could do nothing but stand, staring blankly at each other.

Usopp blinked. "So… who did _that_?"

"KRAKEEEEEEEN!"

"Eh?" The pirates turned towards the far-away treeline, where the voice of a creaky old man was being projected with surprising power. Usopp clicked his goggles over his eyes, twisting the knobs so he could get a better look; a balding grey ferret perched in a tree.

Shouting.

"JACKAL SHOCKED THE KRAKEN!" it rasped. "THE KRAKEN'S COMING!"

"What the –?!" the Strawhat sharpshooter cried in shock. "A ferret is yelling?!"

"Balsalabad, that bastard…!"

"Hah?" Nami turned around, to look at the cannibal that had just spoken. He was maybe in his late thirties; a tall man, with more muscle than the rest – still not well fed, but with a stronger continence. His long black dreadlocks were strung with a rainbow of feathers. Strange symbols were painted on his forehead and cheeks. A chief of some kind? She didn't know. Still –!

"Did you just… _say_ _something_?" the navigator asked, incredulous.

The cannibal chief turned his eyes to her, beads clicking in his hair.

Nami balked and lowered her Climatact at him again. He glared at her a moment…

Then turned his back on her. He raised his spear to the rest of the natives, and said something she certainly wasn't expecting from a man with such an air of a leader.

"EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!"

With that, he dove over the side.

_Splash_.

Back on the lawn deck, Nami blinked. "Uh…" she droned. "_What_?"

Suddenly, the tribe of cannibals exploded into chaos. The Strawhat navigator yelped and grabbed at her weapon instinctively – but stopped when she realized not a single one of them was attacking anymore. They were abandoning ship; leaping off the Sunny like the vessel was on fire. Bodies fell to the water. Some of them screamed when they were attacked and dragged under by the maneating fish, but most of the natives managed to get ashore, race across the ashy beach, and flee into the forest. In fifteen seconds, the only evidence that the Sunny had been attacked was its crew left there, standing awkwardly with their weapons at the ready.

The redhead furrowed her brows. "Well!" she declared, breaking apart her Climatact and putting the three pieces back on her belt. "That was weird!"

Zoro took off his bandana. "They're good at running, at least," he growled.

Luffy's jaw dropped – as always, a little slow on the uptake. "Ehhhh?!" he yelled. "A ferret was talking?!"

Everyone slapped him upside the head. "_There are more important questions you should be asking_!"

Suddenly, the deck shook under their feet. The sea rippled beneath them. A deep rumble vibrated through the ship's timbers. From something right.

Under.

The Sunny.

His nakama's eyes widened; they looked around, searching the surrounding sea for the source of the noise. Luffy, however, froze at the sound. Wasn't that…? No…

He recognized that roar.

The next instant, a towering silhouette blasted from the sea, brine and blood falling in sheets from a massive, pulsating body over a mile aross. Raising suckered appendages over half again as long and hundreds of feet in diameter, the bright orange monster was so big it blocked out the sun, with huge, rolling eyes – once round, bright with intelligence, now caved-in, misshapen by open scars and slashing, yellow-white cataracts. A forged steel collar blinked around its neck. The lens zeroed in on the Strawhats's appalled expressions.

"_GWOOOOOOOH_!"

"No way…!" Luffy whispered.

_**Several months ago on Fishman Island, before they had even entered the New World, a humungous shadow fell over Brook. The skeleton scrambled to get out of the way. "W-Wait a moment – WAH!"**_

_**The Brachio-Tank scurried backwards at full speed, trying to avoid being crushed under the coming threat. "FALL BACK!" Commander Chopper squealed.**_

Nami gasped in shock. _**"Hey, if I remember right, that's –!" she had said.**_

Usopp's eyes bugged. _** "I don't think there are many others!" he had replied.**_

"_**Eh?" Pappagu exclaimed in the cockpit of the Brachio-Tank, bewildered. "You two know him?!"**_

Robin stared wide-eyed up from her place on the deck. _** "I didn't expect to see him here…" the archeologist had murmured, the wind from the shockwave blowing through her long, dark hair.**_

The Strawhats's jaws dropped. "_SURUME_?!"

Surume roared, wrapped his tentacles around their ship's hull, and flipped the Thousand Sunny like a pancake.

The seven Strawhats were hurled high into the air, screaming as the Sunny was tossed end over end clear across the island, gone from sight in an instant to only God knew where. Two figures – one with blue hair and one with antlers – were blown away with it, sent flying deep into the dark depths of the forest.

Nami whipped her head after them. "_Franky_! _Chopper_!" she yelled.

"UWAHHHH!" Usopp squealed, tears streaming from his eyes as he fell. "WHAT THE HELL IS THE KRAKEN DOING HERE?!"

Suddenly, a shadow came over them. "Eh?"

Eyes turned upwards… to see a giant tentacle descending towards them, accompanied by the snarling roar of their old ally from Fishman Island. "_WAHHHHH_!" the crew screamed.

"Damn!" Zoro cursed, gripping the hilt of Wado. They were in the air; he didn't want to kill the octopus, but there was no other way to dodge that blow! "_Ittoryuu_…!"

He unsheathed it, unleashing a powerful shockwave of green light towards the falling tentacle. "_Thirty-six_ _Pound_ _Hou_!"

The two attacks met in midair with a sonic boom that would tear through a normal person's eardrums like a bullet through a soap bubble, blowing the falling Strawhats backwards head-over-heels, screaming even louder; Zoro winced, hurriedly resheathing the white sword before it could be blown out of his hand. Having his technique blocked was a surprise, but judging from the last time he fought this kraken, this so-called demon of the water wasn't nearly strong enough to withstand that attack –!

Suddenly, the tentacle blew through his attack and kept coming.

In the split second before impact, Zoro's eye widened. _What?!_

Suddenly, Nami started, eyes going round as she felt the strap around her wrist loosening. Her log pose had been tugged at in the fight… but with the smack from Surume, the compass of the New World – their savior and guide – slipped from her wrist. And fell to the ocean far below.

"Aah…!"

**BOOM**.

The Strawhats were hurled into the sea. _KASPLAT. Splat. Plop. Split! Sploop._

Surume mumbled uneasily, rolling his blinded eyes for another enemy… but with his job finished, he retreated, and slowly sank back beneath the waves.

**.oOo.**

"…Pwah!"

The marimo swordsman pulled a half-drowned Luffy onto the dry, cracked beach, slamming a practiced fist into the rubber man's chest. His captain immediately started hacking up globs of the nasty, bloody sea sludge; Zoro wrung more of it out of his robe as the others dragged themselves ashore. He quickly did a head count. Luffy, Robin, the sea witch, Usopp, and himself… that made five. Just _five_ of them remained.

Suddenly, there was another scream. "THE LOG POSE!"

Zoro whipped around just in time to see Nami sprint back towards the crimson sea. "The log pose, it came off!" she wailed. "I have to go and –!"

Arms sprouted from the arid ground, grabbing Nami's ankles before she could leap into the bloody water; their navigator cried out and slammed to the ground, immediately turning onto her back, aiming a furious and desperate look at Robin. "What the hell are you _doing_?!" the redhead shrieked, kicking. "Let go! I saw where it fell! I have to go get it before the currents –!"

"_Navigator_-_san_!" Robin yelled. "You forget yourself!"

Nami swallowed and shut her lips. It was very rare that their archeologist would raise her voice at _anyone_. "B-But, why?"

Glittering aqua eyes gazed sharply beyond her. "Look."

The redhead obeyed, turning to look at the surf. For a moment, she wasn't sure what she was looking for… but then, she spotted it. The shadows and telltale ripples of maneating creatures infested the ocean, so many, it looked like the surface of the water in a pot just before it boiled. Nami swallowed in realization at the sight; if not for Robin, she would have been dead now.

She hung her head submissively. Once the Hana-Hana fruit user was sure she wouldn't try for the ocean again, she released the younger woman, arms dissipating in a flurry of petals and the faint scent of lavender.

"So, we're trapped here…?" Nami whispered. "The Sunny, Franky, Chopper…?"

"Until we find them," Robin admitted, "I'm afraid so."

_Still_, the archeologist thought as she brushed some of the cold slime from her long, dark hair. _The collar on the kraken, and the timing? I can't help but feel like this was organized somehow…_

Coughing up the last of the crap in his lungs, Luffy sucked in a breath and raised himself onto his elbows – when suddenly, there was a disturbance in his Haki. About two hundred yards to his left. Coming towards them. He looked.

Luffy's eyes went round.

Everyone notice, glanced to see what he was looking at… then gasped and reeled back.

Emerging from the shadows of the trees, was such a huge hoard of monsters that at first glance it appeared to be one enormous, hissing, mumbling, tortured amoeba that moved across the ground with hooves, paws, hands, and claws. Long tongues, forked and not. Fanged mouths and not. Toothless gums foaming with rabies and bubbling over with strange fluids. Human heads. Hides of all kinds… like they were constructed of all the leftover pieces God discarded at the end of creation. The longer you looked, the more you wanted to scream, or vomit, or cover your eyes. Or all three.

But at the front, leading the hellish mob… was a regal black beast that would make an angel cry.

With the forelegs, claws, ears, and tail of a wildcat – gleaming and dark as the night – this regal black beast walked on two legs with the posture of a king and the stride of a stalking predator. Even Zoro's muscles paled in comparison to the honed sinews that pulled and bunched with every movement he made. Pale green eyes blinked annoyedly at the harsh sunlight. Then slit pupils contracted quickly as they noticed Nami and Robin.

Predatory eyes raked over their bodies – lingering on their thighs and breasts – just like one surveyed a hot, steaming dinner just before they ate. A soft pink tongue ran over sharp teeth. Thoughtfully. Hungrily. The two women stiffened slightly, equal parts disgusted and terrified by that gaze.

Suddenly, those eyes flicked up, focusing on something behind the Strawhats.

_Splish_…

The five pirates started at the sound of something else coming out of the water. They whirled to see Tora standing not three meters behind them, running long, clawed fingers through her hair.

Zoro heard gasps of shock as his nakama, too, saw how closely she resembled their otherworlder – except now, the fur had vanished into smooth copper skin all the way down past her collarbones, curving down human cleavage like the low line of a bodice. Her bottom paws, too, had changed, and transformed into human feet and toes, with the curved claws of a tiger.

Her russet face dripping with red, Tora aimed a flat golden glare at Hyo. "Had… _handled_," she insisted with a rumbling sound deep in her chest.

Hyo gave the tigress a small shrug; an unappealing human mannerism that the panther had picked up from Jackal. "Changed… plans…" he murmured, his pronunciation of the Japanese words only slightly less mangled. "Not to… kill. To… bring back home."

The tigress growled, dissatisfied, but took her place by his side as Hyo redirected his attention to the pirates at his feet.

He offered a clawed hand to Luffy.

"Come now," he anunciated with some difficulty from his fangs. His eyes did not leave Nami or Robin. "Jackal… help your crew. Come. Now."

There a long moment of silence. The tension was so sharp one could pluck it like a string.

"AH!" Luffy gawped. "THE CATS TALK TOO?!"

"_There_ _are_ _more important_ _questions_ _you_ _should_ _be_ _asking_!"

**…**

In his huge, echoing foyer, Jackal sighed as he examined the bounty poster of "Live One" Rosethorne Vera. The first criminal in the world to force the Marines to cross out the option of a dead delivery. Only alive. He hadn't even needed the heads-up call from Fleet Admiral Sakazuki. He had known it the moment he saw the poster. Another semikami had entered this world.

He lowered the sheet of paper to gaze down at the real Rosethorne Vera – unconscious on his floor.

Slowly, tantalizingly… he touched the semikami, running his fingers over every part of her body. Down the line of her jaw, across her full mouth. Dragged across her breasts. Her stomach. Grazed her hipbones. Stroked enticingly down the inside of her thighs, then trailed off the top of her knee. He gazed with half-lidded eyes at his hand, panting slightly.

Jackal licked his fingertips lazily.

Then bit them.

"I hope Hyo treats them well…"

He smiled to himself, blushing with happiness. "Because they brought me one _hell_ of a housewarming gift!" he giggled through his fingers, crushing the wanted poster in his fist. "Keeheeheehee~!"

**.**

* * *

**A/N: THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER IN SOCCP YET!**

**And yeah. To understand this arc fully, be up to date in OP through the end of Fishman Island… ****CUZ SURUME IS IN IT~!**** XD**


	26. The Civilized Company

**This chappie is dedicated to Galymed, because she's just too cool~!**

**I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! I'm sure you've been DYING to find out what happened, so I worked extra hard on this one… I wanted it to be great! Those of you who thought Jackal wasn't all that bad? Thy minds shalt be blown.**

* * *

**Chapter 26:**

**The "Civilized" Company**

_Fading in and out of the darkness. His blood was on fire. Horrifying images of the twisted faces of the monsters he'd fled from. The silhouette of the anchor, black against dusky golden and dark ruby sunlight. A spurt of new blood. A knife in his skin? Stitches?! A mangled stump on the end of his right foot…?!_

Sanji gasped and sat bolt upright, dripping with cold sweat.

The blonde grasped frantically at his sheets for a moment, screams of pain rising in his throat.

But suddenly, he realized he wasn't in pain anymore. Nothing was chasing him. Everything was quiet. Heaving for breath, he tore the covers off his lower half…

Then stopped, staring with wide eyes at his legs.

His right foot was still there. Sanji wavered for a moment… then sighed in relief.

Then he blinked, touching his hair, his clothes, and the sterile white cloths that bound his wounds. His silky golden hair was still crusty with the sludgy red remnants of the lake he'd taken a plunge into – that part hadn't been a dream, he had to suppose – but someone had bandaged his side, his arm, and leg, as well as dressed him in a worn-out grey sweatshirt and sweatpants with a Marine insignia. There had to be painkillers in his system, too; his body still hurt, but it no longer felt like his blood had been replaced with acid. An antidote, too? But who could have –?

_Wait. First of all… where am I?_

The Strawhat cook looked around. He was sitting in a small, tousled brass bed that was slightly rusted… piled haphazardly with lumpy pillows and squeaking noisily with his every move, in an equally small and untidy room. The more he saw, the more weirded out he became.

This place undoubtedly belonged to an abnormal person. There were only the bare necessities of the furniture in it, and even those seemed to be mistreated. Clothes were folded neatly in a pyramid on _top_ of a dresser instead of in the drawers. A headlamp had been left on like a nightlight, casting stark shadows over the strange array of circuits, small metal panels, wires, and a half-eaten burrito that was strewn across an ugly brown carpet. The room was dim – the only other light flickered from a brazier next to the bed, and when the blonde went to turn on the lamp on the nightstand, he was flabbergasted to find its light bulb had been removed and replaced with a _potato_. In one corner, there was a bizarre-looking flower withering in a pot, which – from the smell – had been watered with several weeks' worth of urine and a lonely man's "excursions." Sanji's eyes bugged slightly at the pornographic posters pasted all over the ceiling, gazing lewdly down at him in the dimness. But, tearing his eyes away, the man discovered the strangest thing of all. He stared puzzledly at the _claw marks_ on the walls that erratically raked and punctured its paint, from both bestial talons… and human fingernails.

Removing the vegetable from its place on the lamp, Sanji stared flatly at it for a moment – then tossed it on the floor with a shrug.

Thud.

"…_op it_!"

Suddenly, the golden-haired man started at the sound of a woman's muffled shout. "Hello?" he called. "Is that you, Nami-san?"

A beat passed.

"… _Stop it…!_"

Sanji's eyes widened in alarm. Nami-san was yelling?!

He kicked off the rest of the covers and leapt from the bed. His leg pulsed painfully; the Strawhat cook hissed and grabbed at it, but grit his teeth and kept moving. _This is nothing!_ Loverboy screamed at him as he limped to the door. _Suck it up! Our ladies are in danger!_

_Who're "our" ladies, cheeky bastard?! _Sanji snapped back.

He grabbed the knob and twisted. To his surprise, it opened smoothly; Sanji stared at the threshold for a long moment – suspicious that it was unlocked – then poked his head out into a long, dark hallway. No lamps lit this corridor. Only shadows and the same ugly brown carpet lining the walls, ceiling, floor. His left side disappeared into blackness – but sunlight radiated from his right.

"_Stop… op…!_"

Sanji's head whipped around. It was coming from the right side, the "light" side, ironically, but the voices clashed strangely against his ears, as if from the bottom of a well. Or a large _courtyard_. Nonetheless, the blonde stepped out of the room, shut the door behind him, and limped as fast as he could towards where he could hear the screams of his nakama. Dread filled his gut at what he might find –!

Suddenly, Sanji's feet slapped marble, sending echoes around an incomprehensibly large space. Sunlight shot through his retinas like needles. The Strawhat cook threw his hands in front of his face, his brain scrambling to compensate with the drastic change from dark and close to blinding and open.

"STOP!" Nami shrieked.

Then, she slapped Jackal on the back, guffawing with laughter. "S-_Stop_ it! Really!" she gasped, tears of mirth streaming down her cheeks. "You're killing me! There is no way _anybody_ would be dumb enough to do that!"

The Marine scientist grinned at her. "No no no no! True story!" he promised her, taking a hand off his iced mocha and crossing his chest. "Swear to god!"

Luffy ripped off a mouthful of meat from the ribs on his plate. "Shishishishi! You're, like, the dumbest smart guy I have ever met~!"

"That means a lot coming from you, Mugiwara-san!" Jackal laughed cheerfully.

"I propose a toast!" Usopp announced, standing up. The sharpshooter held his mug aloft to their host, who started to bluster noisily, _oh_-_honestly-really_-_stop-it_. "After one hellish morning, thanks to one man we finally have breakfast, a roof over our heads, and some real civilized company! Kanpai!"

"_KANPAI_~!"

The others – save Zoro and Robin – raised their mugs, huge grins on their faces. All of the Strawhats were wearing comfy grey sweatshirts and pants with the Marine insignia, although none of them seemed to care. Jackal, too, seemed unperturbed as he sucked down the last of his iced mocha. The swordsman and the archeologist, however, remained quiet and in their seats, aiming silent, unsettled looks at their host… like there was a snake in their midst.

Luffy slammed down his mug. "Ahhh~! I have to admit, I had my doubts about you when we first got here!"

"_You_?" Nami repeated dubiously. "We all did, the way we were _brought_ to this place…"

"…_**Well, this is awkward."**_

_**Almost half an hour before, the six Strawhats were sitting in a circle on the foyer floor, staring unsettledly around at the towering ceiling, the shadowed corners, and the man who sat with them. The man who had introduced himself simply as "Doctor Jackal," handed them a sweatshirt-clad Vera – who had immediately rushed to embrace Usopp, with a very scary side glance from Luffy and Zoro both – told them Black Leg was sleeping in the back, and promptly plopped down on the floor with no further invitation. After exchanging awkward looks with each other, the Strawhats did the same. The cats had disappeared long ago… and even if he claimed to have saved their nakama, they weren't exactly sure about this guy.**_

_**The dark-haired man rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "Hmmm."**_

_**Then, a light bulb seemed to go off. "Ah!" Jackal exclaimed. "I know! How 'bout a little party trick?"**_

_**Smiling, he reached into his shirt, fingers fastening around something and pulling it up. The Strawhats tensed when they saw it was a small, triangular sheath, hung on a long leather cord. Jackal grabbed it and turned it upside down.**_

_**A knife dropped out into his other hand; a short dagger with a heavy wooden hilt, roughly hewn of glassy black volcanic rock, but its triangular blade was no longer than Nami's middle finger – and even though it looked razor sharp – didn't seem like much of a threat to any serious opponent. **_

_**Jackal snagged it and dropped the sheath back down his shirt. "This," he said, smiling as he showed it off to them, "is Fernandelwinkle!"**_

_**He shielded one side of his mouth. "He wanted to be called Bob, but I just thought that was too weird!" he whispered, as if the knife might hear him.**_

_**The Strawhats eyed him dubiously.**_

_**Jackal shrugged, mistaking their raised eyebrows. "I know, right? But anyway!"**_

_**Six pairs of eyes watched him questioningly as he lay down on his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows and stretching one of his hands out in front of him. He gripped his knife in a fist, so that the pommel faced toward the ceiling… and fixed the point of its blade in the floor, just below the big muscle of his thumb.**_

"_**Ooooh~!" Jackal trilled.**_

**Hm?**_** the Strawhats thought, staring at him.**_

_**Then, he raised the blade…. and began to stab back and forth between the spaces of his fingers, never missing a beat even while singing: "I have all my fingers! The knife goes chop, chop –!"**_

_**Everyone's eyes shot wide open in terror, extending their hands. "WHOAH!"**_

_**Jackal raised his eyebrows at them. "What?"**_

"_**YOU TRYIN' TO MUTILATE YOURSELF?!" Usopp shrieked. "ARE YOU INSANE?!"**_

_**Vera gasped in recognition. "Dude, it's the five finger fillet!" she exclaimed, scooting forward. "I've never seen anybody do it in real life before!"**_

"_**Hey hey hey, now!" Jackal admonished the sniper, waving Fernandelwinkle scoldingly at him. "Don't yell at me. You don't want me to get **_**distracted**_**, do you~?"**_

_**He blinked, thinking about what that might mean – and sat back. **_

_**The other man smirked and braced the knife back under his thumb. "Ohhhh~!" The point began to smack between his digits again. "I have all my fingers!" he sang.**_

"_**The knife goes chop, chop, chop!**_

_**If I miss the spaces in between, my fingers will come off.**_

_**And if I hit my fingers, **_

_**The blood will soon come out.**_

_**But all the same, I play this game, cause that's what it's all about!"**_

_**Suddenly, the rough obsidian blade began to move faster… and faster and faster, until it was nothing but a black blur as the glass point clashed against the floor, leaving harsh scratch marks in the tile. Luffy's jaw dropped. Nami and Usopp gasped and covered their eyes. Jackal smiled at their expressions before going back to his game. **_

"_**Ohhh… chopchopchopchopchopchopchop! I'm picking up the speed~!" he sang. "And if I hit my fingers then my hand will start to bleed!"**_

_**He whipped his hand out of the way and slammed the tip of the knife into the floor. **_

**WHAM**_**.**_

_**There it stuck, quivering.**_

_**There was a long second where no one said anything. Then…**_

"_**THAT'S INCREDIBLE!" Luffy yelled, eyes sparkling.**_

"_**What's **_**wrong**_** with you, man?!" Usopp squealed, tugging at his hair. Beside him, Vera clapped, very impressed. "You coulda stabbed yourself!"**_

_**Zoro rubbed his jaw, eyeing the knife. "Interesting…"**_

_**Nami and Usopp smacked him over the head. "**_**Don't YOU go getting any ideas!**_**"**_

"_**I can do it with my balls, too~!" Jackal chirped happily. He grinned and grabbed the knife, reaching for his belt buckle. "Wanna see?"**_

"_**Yeah!" Luffy enthused.**_

"**NO**_**!"**_

_**Jackal pouted and took his hand off his pants. "Party poopers," he sulked.**_

_**But he seemed to get over it pretty quickly; the young man slipped his knife back into its sheath and stood up, brushing off his butt. "Well, are you guys hungry at all?" he asked. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "I got food in the back. I hope none of you are vegetarians, though! I have a strict all-meat diet here."**_

_**Once the captain had heard that, there was no other choice. And the rest was history.**_

Back in the present, Luffy grinned. "But still, you turned out to be pretty cool!"

"Oh, honestly, stop it! It's rare I ever get to do my party tricks for _anybody_. I'm just glad you enjoyed it!" Jackal exclaimed, flattered. He reached across the table to pour himself another mug of mocha. "Coffee coffee coffee…"

The scientist took a healing sip. "Mmmm~! Okay!"

He pointed at Vera. "Now it's _your_ turn! Truth or dare?!"

* * *

The brunette got wide-eyed. "Um, what?"

Usopp leaned over. "Troosh oh daya?"

"Is _that_ what we've been playing this whole time?" Vera asked. She exhaled, feeling an urge to smack her head on the table. "Geez. I wish you had told me sooner… I was totally lost over here!"

"Shishishi~!" Luffy chuckled in the seat next to her.

She traced the outline of her cup thoughtfully. "Let's see, I guess I'll choose truth," she replied. She laughed. "I never do dares. And I have nothing to hide, so ask away!"

* * *

"Uh, she says 'truth,'" Usopp relayed. "She's not that great at speaking our language, but if you use small words she'll probably understand ya."

"All right."

Jackal turned back to the girl, propping his chin in his hand. "What _are_ you to the Strawhat Pirates?" he asked casually, as if it was a question common and harmless as being curious about her favorite color. "From the reports, I know what the others do, but what is your role? Your _strength_?"

* * *

Vera stiffened.

Eyes on her, she glared down at her mug, slowly feeling the cold, heavy weight of the world saturate her bones. Of all the questions he could have asked… of all the questions…!

It had to be that one, didn't it?

"Pass," she murmured.

* * *

Luffy stared at her blankly. …_What?_ he wondered privately. _It's not that hard a question, isn't it? Why doesn't she just answer him?_

"Oi! Vera."

Vera's eyes barely flickered in his direction before they stared back down at her tea.

The Strawhat captain scowled. He'd about just had enough of her ignoring him. Sanji wasn't even _here_! He reached out, about to _demand_ her attention –!

But that was when he remembered something.

_**Nami glanced down at her hands. "You can even use your thumb to rub little circles into her hand."**_

"_**That works?"**_

"_**Didn't I tell you to stop saying stupid stuff?! Who's the girl, here?!"**_

Luffy's eyes flicked to Vera's hands. One was currently rubbing circles around the rim of her cup, the other playing with a loose string on her shirt; he was inexplicably transfixed by her small, delicate fingers for a moment, and the gears in his brain began to turn by an unforeseen trigger. Girls were still weird to him. Nor did he understand how some ways to get their attention were more effective than others…

But now seemed like a good time to test it out.

He raised his thumb and snorted like a bull, steam billowing out of his nostrils. _Yosh, here I go!_

* * *

_Rub, rub._

A rough, warm pressure interrupted her thoughts. Vera started and glanced down at her hand… to see that Luffy was intently scrubbing her knuckle with his thumb.

She raised an eyebrow, peering closer.

_Rub._

Then back up at him.

_Rub, rub, rub._

"…Um, nanishiteruno?" she asked. She took her hand off her mug, looking it over for dirt or smudges; the rubber man squeaked in protest. "Do I have something on my hand?"

* * *

Sanji padded slowly up behind the table, officially weirded out. "_What_ the _hell_ is going on here…?"

* * *

Vera turned, eyes wide at the sound of that familiar voice. The semikami's face lit up.

She pushed herself back from the table, smiling radiantly. "_Sensei_!" she exclaimed, rushing towards him.

Luffy made a weak sound of protest as she padded towards the Strawhat cook. "Ah –!"

Vera threw herself at Sanji. The taller man grunted at the impact; she felt him wince slightly, but at this moment, she really didn't care. "I was so _worried_, aho Sensei!" she scolded his sweatshirt, burying her face in his chest and wrapping her arms around his reassuringly warm, hard, _alive_ torso.

She pressed her ear against him to hear his thudding heartbeat… finally reassured. "Never do that again…. _ever_."

* * *

Sanji blinked, speechless.

But after a few moments, the cook finally hugged her back – very hesitantly.

Luffy scowled again. He turned back towards the front, eyes glinting accusingly across the table at Nami.

The navigator hit her face with her palm, smiling helplessly into her mug. _Just as I thought… it's just too unlike Luffy! _she mused silently, watching the green ripples in the surface of her tea. _She has no idea what he's trying to do._

Usopp, too, looked around at the kitchen pair. "Ah, Sanji's awake!" he exclaimed, grinning. "Bout time you got your lazy ass up!"

Sanji looked up. "Eh?"

Eyebrows raised in surprise, he gently drew his protégé away from his chest, who pouted at him. "How long was I out?" he asked. "It couldn't have been that long, right?"

He pinched the unfamiliar garments he was wearing. "And where are my clothes?"

"Hey hey hey hey! Relax~!"

Sanji glanced back up as Jackal pulled his knife out of the table – along with a chunk of its wood – pushed out his chair, and circled the table. "You got bit by one of those Half-and-Half snakes! Their poison's a bitch, ain't it?" he said, carelessly flipping it end over end. "You're lucky I had the antidote with me or you woulda been a goner! Plus, you ever heard the old pronoun 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth?' Don't ask so many questions!"

The dark-haired man stopped before him. Rough, glassy blade pinched between his fingers, he tapped his temple mockingly with Fernandelwinkle's hilt. "You'll hurt yourself!" he grinned, tongue piercing flashing in the light.

Sanji glared unamusedly at him. "It's 'old proverb,' not 'old pronoun,' funny bastard. And just who the hell are _you_?"

The other man ran the knife over his lips, nibbling at it lightly. "Hey hey hey now, don't be so ruuuude…" he purred.

Usopp hurriedly stuffed his cheeks and ran over. "Sh-Shanji-kun, don't pick a fight!" he begged through a mouthful of food, then swallowed, straightened, and introduced the other man. "This is our host, Doctor Jackal! Please be _polite_…"

"_**Him! I-I mean… the scientist!" Barker had screamed. "The Marine scientist!"**_

Remembering it, Sanji raised an eyebrow at their sharpshooter. "_That_ doctor?"

Usopp nodded sternly. "Yes, _that_ doctor."

The Strawhat cook aimed a hesitant look at their host as the long-nosed sniper grabbed Vera's hand and dragged her back to their seats. Jackal didn't exactly _look_ like a traditional Marine. He looked more like the pretty-boy bass player for some bad screamo band than a scientist… with long, ragged black hair tied back into a ponytail that hung down past his shoulders, dark circles under his eyes, a tongue piercing, and skin that was fair as a lady's – white as milky porcelain and rarely seen by the sun – probably about Sanji's age, or maybe a little older. Other than his tongue, the cartilage of one ear was pierced as well. A slim-fitting black t-shirt that said BITE ME in colorful, dripping letters, a long-sleeved black-and-white striped one under that, and a white Marine lab coat with the sleeves torn off clung three layers thick on a slender-boned, but muscular torso. Holey jeans allowed provocative peeps of the pale skin of his legs. The young man wore black-rimmed, coke-bottle glasses… strangely, with both lenses knocked out, but he didn't squint or hint in any way he had trouble seeing. He wore several necklaces and weird rubber bracelets, and his tennis shoes were practically falling apart on his feet. Judging from his stance and wiry physique, Jackal worked out, but he was not a fighter to compete with any of the Strawhats. Normally that would make Sanji relax – but he couldn't help but be offset at the sheer intensity of those piercing, _ravenous_ black eyes.

Jackal giggled, making the blonde start. "Keehee~! Oh, your nakama already told me what Barker said about me!" he chirped, shrugging. "The guy's a fat bozo approaching his fifties. He's a little soft in the head. Whatcha gonna do, right?"

Then the Navy scientist abruptly turned back to Sanji. "Ah! You want some breakfast?!"

"This guy gave ush dese clothes while our normal onesh are in da wash!" Luffy proclaimed to Sanji through a mouthful of meat. "And he gave ush meat! He'sh cool!"

The captain went back to stuffing his face. "Hard to believe he'sh a Marine!"

Jackal waved a hand dismissively in Luffy's direction. "Oh, stop it! Honestly! I only did what anyone should have done! You guys are fun, too! Seriously, though, you haven't had breakfast either, right?"

Sanji blinked under Jackal's prying gaze. "Um…"

He scratched his head, again feeling the dry, sticky residue on his hair. "Maybe later," he replied shortly.

His hand trembled; a cold, dark feeling quivered in his lungs. "Uh, do you have a shower?"

The dark-haired man nodded so fast Sanji expected him to get whiplash. "Yeah yeah! It's in the back. Follow meee~!"

The blonde hesitated, but followed him across the ballroom of a foyer and back down the dark hallway. If he wasn't so desperate to quickly get some privacy, he would have been taken aback by Jackal's unexpected hospitality. If he had been expecting anything from Barker's so-called "madman," it had been a demonlike creature built like a mountain, or some screaming old geezer in a straightjacket.

Certainly not this amiable – if slightly eccentric – guy.

Jackal reached a plain wooden door at the end of the hall, opened it, and flicked on a light. He showed Sanji inside. "Okay, you gotcher essentials here… shower, john, et cetera," he commented. "And don't worry about the temp. The best part about living on a volcano is that you never run out of hot water!"

The Strawhat cook glanced around a brightly-lit, white tile bathroom with a one-person shower, a porcelain toilet, and a sink and mirror that seriously needed a scrubbing. _Seems normal enough for a guy living alone,_ he figured.

Then, on one wall, he spotted a gas mask hung on a peg. _What the…?_

"Hm?" Jackal followed his eyes. "Oh! Haha!" he laughed, realizing what Sanji was staring at. "Now you wish you had one, right?"

The golden-haired man wrinkled his nose in distaste. _Wow… just… wow._

"Yup~!" Jackal chirped. "Well, towels are under the sink. See ya in a minute!"

Click.

He shut the door, leaving Sanji alone, awkward, and slightly grossed out.

A few seconds passed in which the only sound was silence. But finally, the blonde released a shaky breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

He glanced at the shower… and began to undress.

**.oOo.**

Minutes passed. Steam clouded the air. Little by little, red swirled down the drain; soon, the air was heavy with soft, clouded heat. Finally, the water ran clear – but the shadow behind the curtain remained motionless, curled beneath the hot spray. Motionless, his head in his hands. Sanji stared vacantly at the tiled floor of the showers, feeling the pleasant pain of near-boiling water run over his shoulders, running through the crevices of his muscular back and trickling down through his hair. Drops pattered down between his legs. Around his feet.

Plop… plop.

_**KAFLOOM!**_

_** The red lake. The ship. The anchor.**_

Sanji grit his teeth and moaned, fingers tightening in his hair. What had he been _thinking_?! He had almost –!

The Strawhat cook sighed and set his head back against the tile wall with a gentle _thunk_. Ever since he had opened his eyes in that dim room, the fact that he was still whole seemed almost surreal. Because, remembering how he felt when he reached for that anchor, neither an arm nor a leg had seemed all that important to him. In that moment, if it had meant saving Vera-chan.… he knew he would have done it without hesitation.

_But what does that mean?!_ Sanji demanded of himself, clenching his eyes against the steaming spray. _If that's true, does that mean that in the deepest part of my mind… that I value her even beyond my career as a pirate? As a cook?_

Loverboy was hesitant to answer; even the little blonde chibi knew what things were serious and which weren't. He wilted and went to draw pictures in the shower steam.

Inner Zeff patted the solid trunk of Sanji's right ankle. _That just means you're taking your priorities seriously, _he growled gently. _No one could hold it against you for valuing your student._

Sanji opened his mouth to protest.

Then closed it.

_**Back in the clearing, Vera's warm, soft body molded against his own, Sanji blushed – not like a sensei, but a man in love. "N-Nothing's wrong with you…" he had whispered. "You're perfect."**_

_Yeah… _

He rested his chin sadly on his knees. _My student._

Inner Zeff nodded approvingly and vanished into the air with Loverboy, leaving the Strawhat cook alone with himself.

Sanji sighed heavily.

_Dammit, what is wrong with me?! She __**is**__ my student!_ he reminded himself. _I can't get __**involved**__ like that! _

He knuckled his forehead in frustration, as if he could forcibly drive those memories out of his brain._ But… it's like my heart has a mind of its own…_

Abruptly, the Strawhat cook slapped his hand down on the shower floor. Drops scattered; Sanji stood up, turned off the water, and yanked open the shower curtain with a squeal of metal on metal, a determined gleam in his eyes. _Oh, get your shit together, Sanji! _he told himself._ You've been sulking in here long enough as it is! Now, where were those sweats –?!_

Then, Sanji started.

Instead of the grey drags he had cast off only minutes before, he saw his suit… cleaned, folded, and neatly placed on the back of the toilet. He stepped out of the shower, padded across the floor, and picked them up; yeah, these were his.

Sanji blinked and looked around. How had these gotten here? He was sure he would have heard someone come in…

"Hello?" he called. "Anyone there?"

Only an empty echo on the tiles answered him.

Sanji waited a moment… then grabbed a towel, rubbed himself dry, and dressed himself. _I was probably just distracted and didn't hear the door close,_ he thought, adjusting his tie and giving his hair a quick comb-through with his fingers.

He made sure he was presentable one last time in the mirror. _Anyway, I better get back out there._

He crossed to the door, turned the knob, and went through, closing it behind him.

Click.

Dangling from a sticky white rope on the ceiling, Kurokumo's wet black eyes watched him leave… an abnormally long tongue flickering hungrily between her lips.

**…**

Back in the foyer, Sanji took the empty seat beside Usopp at the table and immediately got to work on the plate of cooked meat in front of him; he felt Vera's eyes flick to him before she returned her attention to her mug of green tea. "Thanks a lot for washing our clothes!" the sniper said gratefully to Jackal, adjusting his striped armband. "They were really gross from that nasty bloody ocean slime…"

The doctor nodded good-naturedly. "No problem," he replied, wrinkling his nose. "I hate the smell, too. Some people _like_ the scent of blood, but I just don't see it."

"Oi."

Everyone looked around at Luffy's uncharacteristically solemn expression. He rubbed the scarlet fabric of his cardigan between his fingers. "I have a question," he stated plainly, dropping it.

Jackal reached through the empty frame of his glasses to rub one of his eyes. "Really? Shoot."

Luffy hesitated for a second. "Well… why do you have Surume?" he demanded. "_How_ do you have Surume? And what the hell happened to him?!"

_**A towering silhouette blasted from the sea, brine and blood falling in sheets from a massive, pulsating body over a mile aross. Raising suckered appendages over half again as long and hundreds of feet in diameter, the bright orange monster was so big it blocked out the sun, with huge, rolling eyes – once round, bright with intelligence, now caved-in, misshapen by open scars and slashing, yellow-white cataracts. A forged steel collar blinked around its neck. **_

_** "GWOOOOOOOH!"**_

_** Surume**_ _**roared, wrapped his tentacles around their ship's hull, and flipped the Thousand Sunny like a pancake. The seven Strawhats were hurled high into the air, screaming as their ship was tossed end over end.**_

The Strawhat captain hung his head, brows furrowed in distress. "He didn't even recognize me…"

Jackal stared at him. "Ehhhh?! You know the kraken?!" he exclaimed. "How is that possible?!"

Luffy told him.

The Marine scientist rubbed his chin. "Well, that explains a lot…"

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing!" Jackal laughed, waving his hands hastily. "Yeah, um, you see, what happened was thaaaaat a couple months back the poor thing washes up on our shores with this giant Sea Bonze on his back! The natives got to them first – they're cannibals, but they're not picky – I tried to stop them but by the time me and my Beasties got there the Sea Bonze was down to bones and they'd already eaten up Surume's eyes!"

"Sea Bonze?" Sanji asked, puzzled.

Then he remembered. "Oh! That overgrown manju with the New Fishman Pirates. What happened to him, anyway? I forget."

"Didn't Surume carry him off to exile since Ryugu Palace didn't have a big enough cell?" Nami ventured.

"Ah, that's right. You're so smart, Nami-_swan_~!" Sanji swooned.

Jackal gestured at Hyo and Tora. "Anyway, my kittens here shooed them off and I helped the kraken live."

Luffy blinked. "Then why does he have a collar?"

Jackal smiled, seeming more comfortable now. "For his own safety!" he replied. "If he roamed out into open water, for some of these New World monsters a blind kraken would prove a tasty snack."

"But why didn't he recognize my voice?!"

The scientist shrugged. "I guess he's still traumatized. You could always talk to him."

"WHAT? Talk to him?!"

Jackal started carving out a toothpick from the table. "Yeah. He talks pretty decently by now," he replied casually, as if giant talking cephalopods were the most normal thing in the world. "My top six maneaters can all speak a little. My kittens are almost conversational! And Surume is even better. Octupuses are pretty damn smart animals, y'know."

_Octopi_, Robin corrected him silently.

"They can transform… and talk?" Luffy gaped, eyes sparkling. "That's so cool! Where are the rest?! I wanna see all of 'em!"

"You sure?" the Marine laughed. "They're pretty scary."

"Don't be stupid! I bet we've all seen scarier!" the pirate pouted.

Jackal shrugged and threw his knife back into the table. "Well, _okay_," he gave in, picking his teeth with the splinter of wood. "Come on out, guys!"

There was a moment of silence.

Then, three figures uncurled from the shadows of the room and began to converge on the table; Jackal counted heads. "One, two, three… where're Kurokumo and Same? Same! Kurokumo sweetie!" he called. "Where art thou – ah. There you are!"

The red-haired girl darted out from the hallway at the back of the foyer, snapping her jaws curiously. A few of the Strawhats cringed at her bizarre technique of locomotion. "Geeee!"

"H-Has that thing been back there this whole time…?" Sanji asked tentatively.

The dark-haired man thought about it. "Hmmm. Dunno!" he finally decided. "Kurokumo always ends up in the weirdest places! I gotta be careful around here sometimes; she _is_ highly toxic, even more than the snake that bit you! Haha!"

Sanji froze. He had been _sleeping_ back there!

The dark-haired man patted his lap. "C'mere, Kurokumo! C'mere, ya little sweetie!" he burbled, as if calling a baby or a vagrant puppy and not this bizarre, clicky beast. "Come give Daddy a kiss~!"

Kurokumo skittered across the floor, under the table, and into Jackal's lap. She nibbled his cheek gently and went back under the table, where she clung to one of his legs, scratching at his knee and making strange, gurgling, clicking sounds. "Dawww~!"

The Marine rubbed her thin, slightly sticky red hair. "Isn't she cute?" he cooed.

Everyone picked their legs up. "S-Sure…"

Then, a splashing sound caught their attention; several of the pirates turned in time to see Same haul his cumbersome body out from a watery portal in the floor.

Nami blinked. "Eh?"

Jackal noticed where she was looking. "Yeah, Same has a special entrance to this place," he explained. "He used to be a shark, and even after I performed experiments on him to improve his stamina on land he still prefers to travel by water. So I just connected one of the rivers to the House with a huge pipe! It was surprisingly easy!"

Luffy gaped at the lumpy, jet-silver giant. "So _biiiig_!"

"KYAAAA! WHAT IS THAT?!" Usopp squealed, looking somewhere else.

"Oh, that's Urufu!" Jackal snickered as the gigantic canine creature bounded over, sniffing each of the Strawhats in turn. "He's my stupid, adorable little spazz and he's exactly what he looks like."

"Urufu, huh?" Usopp repeated tremulously. He held out his shaking hand for the huge wolf to smell; the animal bumped him playfully with his nose, tongue lolling out of his mouth. His big, brown, feather-duster of a tail wagged so fast it created a refreshing breeze. "Heh heh!"

The sniper began to scratch his snout. "Y'know, once you get past the eye he's kinda cute!"

"I know, right?!" Jackal laughed. "But careful, he's rabid."

The sniper yanked his hand back. "_Yeep_!"

Then, Jackal beckoned to the final pair; they slunk over to his chair. Tora placed her head obediently in his lap. "And _these_ two," he crooned, touching them, "are my kittens, Hyo and Tora." The man ran his fingers through Tora's thick, golden hair. The tigress leaned trustingly into his touch, but only after the momentary hesitation of an abused puppy. "Originally, they were the greatest wildcats on the island… the most powerful beasts on the island. A mated pair, if you will. I guess it wasn't a surprise to find out they could afford to have tastes in prey. Humans were their favorite even before I came. Tora prefers the bigger men, but Hyo..."

Jackal bit back a smirk, like he was laughing at some inside joke. "Hyo's not picky."

He cradled Hyo's dark, masculine face with his other hand.

"_Gorgeous_, aren't they?" he purred.

Hyo's pale green eyes dilated – in an instinct that resembled _alarm_ – then, quietly, bowed his head in submission, allowing his master's white, slender fingers to sink into his hair. Their eyes locked. An unsettling, predatory gleamed in Jackal's gaze. He bit his lip, as if holding something back. "But then I arrived and now... they are my crown jewels," he murmured. "They're actually _worth_ their salt now."

The skin around the panther's eyes tightened.

Nami didn't see it. However, she did seem hesitant. "But isn't that… oh, I don't know, _dangerous_?" she exclaimed dubiously. She looked at Jackal. "Aren't you afraid they'll eat you in your sleep?!"

A flash of annoyance flickered in Jackal's eyes.

Then it was gone. He smiled and released his kittens with a pat on the head. "Naw, I trained 'em _specially_ not to eat me," he replied lightly, as they quickly slunk away.

"_Don't_ _say_ _it_ _like_ _it's_ _potty_ _training_!"

The young man shrugged. "I didn't say they aren't a force to be reckoned with," he admitted.

He raked his ragged, jet black hair away from his forehead – revealing a horrendous, shiny pink scar that marred the porcelain skin of his left temple. It was deep and uneven, in the shape of an asterisk, and looked like when the wound had been fresh, it very well could have been mortal; gushing blood over the gleaming white bone of a bared skull. "I got this from a rogue Beastie before I could put it down."

Nami winced. "Geez!"

Jackal let his bangs fall. "So yeah, it's a risk since I can't keep my eye on them _all_ the time, and they're still wild animals no matter _what_ I do. But isn't life more fun with a little risk?" he chuckled. "Plus, with natives like these I should have maneaters to fight off maneaters, yeah? Trust me, if those yahoos ever set a foot on the northern half of the island I just sent one of my Beasties to their door and they won't poke their heads out for a good three days."

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Still seems like a pretty high-risk security system."

The dark-haired man smirked at the swordsman. "But it's effective," he pointed out. "I have their collars if all else fails, right? And they make for _incredible_ test subjects."

Then, Robin spoke up. "But you know, that is something…"

She waved her fork at Jackal's unconventional appearance. "Forgive me for saying so, but no matter how you look at it you don't _look_ like a Marine scientist," the archeologist commented. She glanced up at the ridiculously high ceiling. "Your… _home_ is rather… _unique_ as well. What do you study in a place like this, if I may ask?"

"Oh! No, I don't mind."

Jackal smiled cheerily just as everyone took a bite of their meat. "I study the unique properties and powers of human flesh~!"

Robin choked. Everybody else spewed whatever was in their mouth all over the table.

* * *

"_Whoah_, no!" Vera balked as Luffy did a spittake beside her. The rubber captain croaked an apology and pounded at his chest, coughing; she blinked in surprise. She had heard _niku_, the Japanese word for "meat," (any One Piece fan knew that one within the first week of watching the anime, duh). But what the world was with that reaction…?

"NANDA?!" Luffy yelled.

He slammed a hand down on the tablecloth with a bang, eyes practically bugging out of his head. "_Jin'niku_?!"

* * *

"Please tell me that's some kind of sick joke!" Usopp ordered, sweating bullets.

Sanji stared at the lump of cooked brown matter that he'd been about to eat. "Then, is this…?!" he whispered in horror.

Hearing that, the sniper blanched and passed out.

_Shing_.

Jackal's eyebrows flicked up at the razor-sharp black blade pointed at his nose. His eyes slowly traced up the long, long edge… to meet the killer's gaze of the swordsman beside him.

"_What_ _shit_ _have_ _you_ _been_ _feeding_ _us_?" Zoro rumbled, radiating a dark, dangerous aura. "You sick _bastard_…?"

* * *

Vera shifted in her seat, feeling the tension spike in the air around her. _Something went wrong in the conversation,_ she realized with a degree of alarm, staring at the sword now pointed at their host. _What –?_

* * *

Around him, Zoro could feel the maneaters's hackles come up – deep rumbles shuddering from their chests at the sight of a sword being pointed at their master – but still, he did not take his gaze off of the other man. Jackal glanced neutrally at Shuusui's blade.

For an instant, his black eyes flashed round and bright with madness. It happened so fast, the marimo thought he might have imagined it.

But then their host's friendly smile was back, with just the right amount of alarm in his gaze. "Hey hey hey!" Jackal exclaimed nervously, going comically cross-eyed to keep an eye on the black blade. "No way! That's nasty! I would _never_ do that to you guys."

He pointed at the marimo. "You, for one, happen to be eating hamburger! It's cow."

A beat passed – and when the sword didn't move, he grinned at Zoro, touching Shuusui away from him. "And didn't your momma tell you not to point sharp objects in people's faces?" he commented awkwardly. "It's quite rude."

Zoro's eye narrowed.

Their host's smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

Jackal turned away from the swordsman. "But it's not what you think. And it's far from a joke!" he said good-naturedly to the pirates at his table. "Haven't you ever wondered why some people are just born stronger than others? Why some people are cleverer, smarter, or more articulate than others? And what sets _them_ apart from, say, animals? That's what I study. It's iffy research, so the Navy gives me a miser's budget… so little I might as well not even be on their payroll."

He sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Even to work in such a hostile environment, can you believe it?! Still, what better place to do what I do than here on this island, where –?"

Jackal blinked, cutting himself off.

The Strawhats waited. "Hm?"

But then, the Marine sat back. "Here on this island! Anyway, I've done pretty well for myself, no?" he asked cheerily, gesturing to the splendor around him. "Also, the fact that I rely so little on HQ means I can do almost anything I want."

He raised an eyebrow at Zoro. "Including hosting _pirates_."

The swordsman grit his teeth. "So, what you're saying is 'don't get uppity,' huh?" he growled, angling Shuusui at Jackal's face. "You're more than suspicious. Give me a reason I shouldn't cut you open."

Luffy banged his hands down on the table. "_Zoro_! Stop it!"

The swordsman's hand tightened around his katana. "I have a bad feeling about this, Luffy…!" he warned.

The Strawhat captain's brows furrowed in anger. "Zoro, put it down! I mean it!" he barked. "He said that wasn't the case, didn't he?! He gave us shelter, entertainment, and good food! Captain's orders. Put. It. _Down_."

Zoro glared at Luffy, then back at Jackal. Those shimmering black eyes stared flatly out from that pale face at him. Unfortunately, what the rubber man said was true – he didn't have an overwhelming reason to kill this man. Then why did every ion in his being _scream_ to end it?!

Everyone held their breath as Zoro hesitated…!

But finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the marimo sheathed his katana and sat down. He propped his feet up on the table, crossing his arms. "Fine."

There was a collective sigh of relief. Everyone relaxed. Meanwhile, Jackal smiled. He fingered the fabric of his shirt in a way that seemed harmless – but to Zoro, whether by accident or not, it unabashedly displayed the colorful text on his shirt.

_BITE_ _ME_.

The swordsman felt like he should glare back. But instead, he felt his stomach sink…

Like he had just lost an opportunity that would never show itself again.

"Oh, don't mind the marimo," Sanji told Jackal, calmly munching on another mouthful of meat; finally having identified it as chicken. "He always has terrible manners."

"YOU WANNA FIGHT, ERO-COOK?!"

The doctor shrugged. "Ah, he's not the first dick to shove a pointy object in my face."

"OI!"

Jackal smirked and propped his chin on a fist. "So, any more questions for me?" he asked the crew.

Everybody looked at each other for a minute… then Sanji raised his hand. "Uh… actually, I do."

"Ask away, Curly~!" Jackal proclaimed in a flamboyant fashion.

The Strawhat cook decided to ignore his new nickname. He went on, using a serious tone. "See, before – um, you rescued us, I guess? –" he raised an eyebrow at him for affirmation, "we ran into this kid."

Sanji felt Vera's eyes shoot onto him; it would be no doubt she recognized their word for _kid_ by now. Still, he couldn't help it. He was worried about the child. "He was really skinny, and I didn't get a good look of his face," the blonde continued. "Look, I know it's a long shot, but do you know who I'm talking about?"

Jackal raised an eyebrow. "A kid? Ummmm."

He thumbed his lip, thinking about it. "Well, there are a couple teenagers down in the wilds," he replied. "At least the last time I made a population assessment. But there's only ever been one _kid_ here… and I don't think you'd need to worry about him. He's a toughie. The same little guy killed the maneater that Surume replaced, a couple months back."

Jaws dropped. "_And you don't care?_"

Jackal shrugged. "Hey, if he manages to kill one of my top six he deserves the meat!" he reasoned, absently scratching Kurokumo's hair. "But no. He's probably running around out there right now, trying to scavenge up some grub from some unsuspecting sucker…"

**…**

Meanwhile – miles away on the western side of the island – the Sunny drifted slowly inland through the crimson sludge of an empty tributary, vines from the trees that lined the bank trailing off the deck, mast, and rails, like the curious green tentacles of a strange but benign beast. Dappled jade sunlight drifted forebodingly over her figurehead. The only sound in the forest's deathly silence was the quiet slap of the gory slime on her hull.

Suddenly, a slight figure in the trees grabbed one of the vines and slid down it… touching down on the Sunny's lawn deck with less sound than a cat. The ship's timbers creaked warily.

Dark green eyes looked around. "Looks like nobody's home."

"You sure you should be moving around? You were in trouble back there for a minute!" rasped the shriveled creature around his neck.

The larger being rolled his eyes, getting a better grip on his spear. "Please. I'd hope it'd take more than some scrawny girl and a lone one of Jackal's Beasties to finish _me_ off."

"Your helmet was destroyed, though."

He touched his hair bitterly. "I know. I always feel naked without one…"

"Well, let's look through this ship quickly so you can go _find_ yourself a new one," the old voice continued, clinging to the boy's thin neck with withered grey paws as he darted across the grassy deck. "I won't have my grandson being brained while he has no helmet."

The small shadow opened the galley door just a crack, peering inside. "Fine."

No movement alerted him to life inside; adjusting the grip on his spear, he eased inside and shut the door. "The kraken flipped this ship," whispered the fluffy creature around his neck. "Just walk in!"

He reached his other hand into his clothes, gripping the hilt of his dagger, walking right past Brook's frozen body, and right into the blackened kitchen. "'Appearances can be deceiving,'" he quoted. "You're getting soft, Gramps."

**…**

Through the dark haze of sleep, Brook heard an impressed whistle. "Whoo! This place wasn't half bad before it exploded," grated an unfamiliar voice through the kitchen door. "Are you seeing the size of this refrigerator? Only Jackal's got bigger!"

_Who is that?_ the skeleton wondered drowsily. He tried to look around to see who was in the kitchen…

But his skull wouldn't move a millimeter.

…_EH?! _ He tried again, with the same result. _What's going on? My bones won't move!_

Another, younger voice joined the first. "But whatever blew this place up took all the food with it. All I'm finding is ashes."

Brook balked, starting to panic now. _Who is that? Why is a stranger on Lion-chan?! Where are the others?! _

He yanked at his bones again. _And why can't I MOVE?! _The Strawhat musician huffed internally. _This is frustrating!_ he mused.

Finally, he sighed. _I guess there's only one way to do this! _

The skeleton braced himself – and began to chant. _Bone bone bone bone bone bone bone…! BANG!_

Brook regurgitated his spirit out of his mouth, which had already been open in mid-snore. A tornado of icy wind swept through the galley as a haze of cool, ghostly green mist unfurled from his bones, manifesting in a peculiar, rounded skull hovering in the air above his body. "_Boom_!" it yelled.

Brook – or rather, his disembodied soul – crowed in victory. "Yohohoho! _I'm out_~!"

He turned his spirit right around. "All right, who's there –?!"

And immediately came face-to-face with a young boy coming out of the kitchen, holding a bone swordbreaker in one hand and a spear in the other.

They stared at one another for a second.

"…"

"…"

The boy screamed in terror. "GYAAAAA!"

Brook screamed back. "KYAAAAA?!"

Their eyes bugged at each other. "_WAAAAAAH_!"

The maroon-haired kid brought his weapons up into the skeleton's spectral green face. "Who are you?!"

"I could ask you the same thing!" the Soul King wailed. "Who are _you_?!"

"I asked you first!"

Luckily, Brook was saved from answering that time. The ferret spotted the empty milk bottle in the skeleton's frozen hand and poked the boy. He turned to look; it pointed a paw. The child seemed to have a revelation at the sight of the milk bottle. "Oh!"

He scowled and pointed his weapons at the spirit again. "You're supposed to be dead."

Brook couldn't resist. "Ah, but I'm already dead!" he proclaimed. "Yohohohohoho~!"

Eyes narrowed. "What _are_ you, then?"

"Me?" the soul asked. "I ate the Yomi-Yomi no Mi! I'm a revived man! I'm also a member of this ship's crew. And what are you supposed to be, if I may ask?"

"Just a forager."

They stared each other down for a minute…

Then Brook laughed. "Yohohoho! You're a spunky one!" he exclaimed. He blinked down at the boy. "What is your name, young man?"

The boy hesitated, seeming taken aback by the spirit's amiable humor.

"I'm Bai," he finally answered, lowering his weapons. "…What's yours?"

"Soul King Brook!" the Strawhat musician introduced himself, bowing as flamboyantly as a disembodied soul could. "Nice to meet you!"

Bai opened his mouth… then shut it awkwardly and chose not to answer. He sheathed his gleaming white swordbreaker somewhere deep in his poncho; finally deciding this wasn't a threat, but still staring suspiciously up at the glowing green soul. The skeleton didn't blame him. He did look rather strange when he regurgitated his soul like this.

Instead, Brook looked this newcomer up and down. The boy couldn't be any older than ten years old, although a hard life had aged his face in ways his youth couldn't disguise. His features were decent enough; a strong nose, defined jawline, a stubborn mouth, and a slightly wide forehead. However, his sun kissed russet skin offset dark, milky emerald eyes and full head of thick, pale maroon dreadlocks, each tipped with a steel cap that clicked against each other with a sound not entirely unlike that of evening crickets. Even wearing a ferret's fuzzy grey length twined around his neck like a muffler and dressed in nothing but a knotted loincloth and a frayed, worn-out old poncho, Bai could have been a handsome boy if he had been a little less boney – albeit in a roughing-it, exotic, tribal sort of way.

Then the muffler spoke up. "And I am Balsalabad, his grandfather."

Brook shrieked in surprise. "EHHH?! A FERRET IS TALKING?!"

"Of course I'm talking!" the withered Balsalabad barked back, then burst into a fit of coughing. "Bleugh _ack_! And I'm not a ferret! What the hell did _you_ eat this morning, ghosty?!"

Bai thumped his companion lightly on the forehead. "Calm down, Gramps," he grouched.

"'Ghosty?' That's so hurtful!" Brook moaned. "But still, his grandfather?! But you're an animal! And your name sounds like salad dressing…"

"It's Balsalabad, not _balsamic_!" snapped the old ferret, grey fur standing up on his back.

"How can an animal be the grandfather of a human, is what I'd like to know!"

Bai raised an eyebrow at Brook's spectral figure. "Uh, are you kidding?" he asked incredulously. "Weird as you are, you honestly don't know about the laws of this island?"

"Laws? What laws?"

Bai and Balsalabad put their heads together. "Now that I think about it, he wouldn't, would he?" the boy whispered.

The animal nodded. "It would explain why he drank the milk so carelessly," he rasped.

"Still, how could he _not_ know?"

"Well, it's not like this everywhere, remember?"

"Oh, right. I forgot."

Brook shed a drop of awkward sweat. "I _can_ still hear you, you know."

"Oh, fine, fine!"

Bai scratched his head and turned back around, Balsalabad grasping a little tighter around his neck. "Look, there's a reason why you can't move your body right now," he told the specter. He paused for a minute – as if struggling to find the right words to explain – then pointed at the milk bottle welded to his skeletal phalanges. "You drank that, right?"

Brook frowned. "Of course I did, but what does that have to do with –?"

"Lemme finish, will ya?! On this island, you can't just eat what you want. Because whatever you eat… well, you become."

The ghost's jaw hit the floor. He stared at his body. "T-Then the thing that is restraining my body from moving is –?!"

Bai nodded, glancing soberly at the pearly white layer that coated the skeleton. "Yup," he confirmed. "Pure calcium."

"But how is that possible?!"

"Does it matter how it's possible?!" the tribal boy snapped. "It just is!"

Balsalabad twitched his wrinkled, pointy nose towards Brook's frozen body. "Under normal circumstances, you should have suffocated under that layer and died in minutes. _Coff!_ But apparently, um, you have no lungs to suffocate. _Coff_ _coff_!"

"Yohohoho! So how long until I turn back to normal?"

"The physical transformation normally starts about an hour after you eat, when food hits your small intestine, and continues to progress through the digestive system as time continues. When you excrete it out, you return to your original state. But you can't excrete like _that_. And until you do, you stay in that form."

"My, my! Well, that IS a problem!" Brook admitted. "Does this happen to everyone?"

"Are you getting _any_ of this?" Bai muttered. "I said you become whatever you eat! If you eat cow meat, you turn into a cow. If you eat chicken, you turn into a chicken. You eat pig…?"

"You turn into a pig. Now I see…"

Suddenly, something occurred to him. "W-Wait!" the Strawhat musician cried. "S-So if you're human… and you don't want to turn into an animal…?!"

"You have to eat human meat," Balsalabad confirmed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Duh."

Brook blanched. "SO SCARY!"

"However, the same thing applies to pasteurized products, grains, or fruits," the ferret continued. "If you turn into something unable to excrete, your internal systems shrivel up as you transform, and you stay that way."

The soul wafted around in a bewildered circle. "How bizarre! Ahhhh, it's just so much to absorb at once!"

Brook looked at Balsalabad. "It must be tough, turning back to such a small animal every day."

"Like I _said_…!" the old man growled. "_I'M NOT A FERRET_! I'm _human_! I just ate ferret meat for breakfast!"

The spirit glanced at Bai. "And you?"

The boy fingered a loose thread on his poncho, green eyes gazing down at the floor – as if visiting a shameful memory. "I… I ate some kind of fish about half an hour ago," he replied tersely. "There's no food here, Gramps, and I need to be near the water when it takes effect, so…"

He grabbed his spear off the table began to walk towards the door. "Let's go."

"W-Wait!" Brook called. His ghostly green form blocked their path. "My dear crewmates don't know this information! It could prove vital to their survival!"

"That's not my problem," Bai stated matter-of-factly. "And from past experience, your crewmates are probably either dead or at the House. So… dead. Move, will ya?"

"Then take me to this 'House' you speak of!"

Brook expected Bai to at least think about it, but the boy refused outright and without hesitation. "What?! You crazy? No! You got any idea how dangerous that place is?!"

Then, the kid took a look around the spectacular interior of the Sunny… something flickered in his eyes, and he seemed to reconsider slightly. "Okay, look, I _could_, but why don't you make _me_ an offer before you start asking favors?" he sighed bluntly, leaning against his spear. "And it better be good, cuz otherwise there's no friggin' way."

The soul blinked. "Offer? What do you want?"

"What do you _have_?" Balsalabad asked.

Brook thought about it, analyzing what little he knew about this strange pair. Using force was hardly polite, not to mention out of the question – he couldn't even use Soul Solid in this form – and negotiation didn't seem like it would work on these two. They both had a mentality like stone. Maybe it was a native thing. The crew was scattered and he didn't know how, which put him at a further tactical disadvantage. So, the only bargaining chip he had left was…

"We have a cook!" the soul offered.

Bai's eyebrows shot up. "A cook?"

_Ah, that caught their attention!_ "Yes, yes! A first-class one!" Brook continued eagerly. "You would not believe the incredible culinary skill our cook possesses! And if you help us, I'm sure he will prepare you a meal of the likes and flavor of which you have never seen~!"

The two natives were already drooling, eyes alight with excitement. "Really?!"

The spirit sighed internally. _I apologize for using you without your permission, Sanji-san, but this might be the only way_, he thought. "If you help us! Do we have a deal?"

Bai nodded. "Sure!"

He darted around Brook. "Follow me!"

The soul hurried after the boy. "Wah! Slow down, please!"

If he did slow down, it was an unnoticeable amount; at the promise of food, Bai seemed to possess a new vigor in his step that launched him forward like a cheetah over the highest thorny branches of the trees, swing along the skinniest of vines, and move through the smallest of openings with barely a pause. Even with his ability to pass through solid objects and lack of feet entirely, Brook could barely keep up.

_Hold on, everyone!_ the Soul King thought. _I'm on my way!_

**…**

A hand touched Luffy's shoulder. "Oi, Mugiwara-san."

The Strawhat captain paused from his conversation with Usopp and glanced up into Jackal's gleaming black eyes. He beckoned with a finger: "Could I have a word with you?"

Luffy hugged the back of his chair, facing him. "Sure!"

"Oh, not here!" Jackal laughed. He walked backwards across the tiles, still beckoning, his footsteps echoing sharply, forebodingly in the ballroom-like space. "Follow me. I have something to show you, too~!"

Luffy obeyed, sandaled feet slapping eagerly against the floor. "Is it more meat?!"

"You'll see."

"Ohoooo!"

* * *

Vera turned in her chair. "Luffy, dokoikuno?" she called concernedly.

Her troublesome captain looked around – for a second, she thought she saw a flash of uncertainty in his eyes, as if he couldn't believe she was talking to him – then, a huge grin split his face. He waved his arms over his head at her. "Daijobudayo!" he called back. "Ore wa modotte kimasu!"

_ Be right back, huh…?_

She nodded, even though he had already turned back around. "If you say so…"

* * *

Luffy hunched his shoulders, smiling to himself as those mystery bubbles drifted up from in his stomach and popped in his chest, filling him with that happy, fuzzy warmth that was becoming so familiar. _Shishishishi! She does care~! I knew it!_

He looked at Jackal's back. "So, whatcha gonna show me?" he asked curiously. "Where is it?"

"It's on the other side of the foyer," the Marine replied. "Maybe five minutes' walk."

"Ehhhhh?" Luffy glanced back at the table where his nakama sat; they were shrinking in the distance already. "That's a ways away! Can't we bring the others with us?"

"No."

The rubber man started at Jackal's strangely terse answer. "Why not?"

There was a pause…

Then the scientist turned around, a playful expression reinstated on his face. "Because it's something only captains are allowed to see~!" he replied, pressing a finger to his smiling lips. "Strictly secret. Hushity-hush and all that."

"Ahhhh!" Luffy exclaimed in realization. "Okay. Is it cool?!"

Jackal turned back to the front. "Yes…" he murmured. "Yes, it's _very_ cool."

"Ooooh, now I'm getting excited!"

They walked on for several more minutes, the only sound that of their footsteps and Luffy's aimless humming as he looked around the walls and floor.

Finally, they spotted a shape against the other side of the foyer.

The Strawhat captain's face lit up. "Ah!" he exclaimed. "There it is!"

Jackal smirked. "Yup!"

Luffy ran ahead, laughing in excitement. But as he got closer to the mysterious shape, his footsteps slowed, and eventually stopped entirely – staring in confusion at the bizarre arrangement. Before him were piles of strange books, dolls, and machines, stacked on and around a monstrous stone mantle. Not many of them were bigger than his hand, and most of them appeared to have salt water damage. Lines of files cabinets were tucked neatly against the wall, pasted with labels like "Technology" and "Personal Items" and "Transpondence," more than likely filled with more objects.

Luffy picked up one of the dolls. "What's all this?" he asked.

Wandering over to one of the "Technology" file cabinets, Jackal opened the top drawer – revealing it to be lined with at least a dozen iPods and iPhones, in all shapes and sizes in almost every year. "This… is my little stash of what the otherworlders have left behind."

Luffy blinked. "Otherworlder stuff?"

"I know what your 'Vera' friend is."

Jackal selected one iPod and closed the drawer. "But don't worry, I'm not going to hurt her!" he reassured the rubber man, plugging a worn set of earbuds into it and tucking it in the pocket of his lab coat. "I'm not like my so-called 'superiors.'"

He leaned his shoulder against the wall, gazing lazily at Luffy. "I have a proposition for you, Mugiwara-san."

The Strawhat captain blinked. "Proposition?"

Jackal smiled. "Yeah!" he replied. "I can take her off your hands for you! I'll even give you 10 million Berries in exchange."

There was a long, long pause.

Luffy went absolutely still. "…_What_?"

"I know! Good deal, right?" the Marine scientist replied, chewing on a hangnail before he went on. "Look, I know it's not her _bounty_, but we all know there's no place for weak people in the New World. Semikami might have powers of their own, but they're erratic and not very practical. Their bodies are weak. So are their minds. And you know I'd be a great host! You said so yourself. I've had semikami stay with me before; I know their minds, I have a translator snail in the back, and I can sympathize with them. That's more than you can do, right? I bet you don't even know her favorite color, or her favorite food, or favorite season."

He bit off the hangnail and spat it out. "What has she ever done for you but hold you back? What is she to you, anyway? Give her to me."

"Give. Her. To. _You_?" Luffy repeated, his expression absolutely blank.

Jackal wiped off his finger.

"Yeah," he replied. "I mean, she's just a bitch."

_**WHAM!**_

A fist broke the wall beside his head. The Marine scientist nearly jumped out of his skin when faced with eyes that promised a painful death if he did not shut up that instant, barely an inch away from his own. Strawhat Luffy was _beyond_ pissed. He was _furious_.

"What the _hell_ are you telling me to do?!" Luffy hissed, trembling with rage. "Sell my nakama?! Sell _her_?!"

His fingers dug into the stone, raining dust and pebbles onto the other man's shoulder. "I have news for you,_ bastard_!" he yelled. "Vera is mine! _MINE_!"

Jackal raised his hands in surrender. "Geez, okay! Chill! I didn't realize she was _your_ bitch!"

Luffy's eyes widened.

The taller man scratched his head, wearing a stressed expression. "Fine, I guess I can spot you 15 million!" he muttered, oblivious to the pirate captain's growing anger. "But that's my final offer! I have a budget, too, y'know!"

Luffy grit his teeth, trying to hold himself back. He did not respond. He knew if he did, he would rip this guy's freakin' _head_ off…!

Finally, he pushed off the wall and began to stalk away.

Jackal brushed stone dust off his sleeve. "Hey, where are _you_ going?" he called, following at a distance. "Oi, Mugiwara!"

**.oOo.**

* * *

Vera jumped when her captain appeared out of nowhere and grabbed her hand. "Luffy, what're you –? Hey! Doshita no?!"

* * *

"Hey, what do you think you're doing, shitty rubber bastard?!" Sanji barked as Luffy pulled Vera out of her seat, dragging her towards the door.

"We're leaving," the captain announced. "NOW."

"While there's still meat on the table?!" Usopp exclaimed disbelievingly.

"Captain-san?" Robin said.

"What's gotten into you, baka?!" Nami asked, forcing her chair back and standing up. "Just a second ago, you –!"

"I said we're _leaving_!" Luffy bellowed furiously. "Have you forgotten we still have to find Franky and Chopper and Brook and the Sunny?! _I don't want to repeat myself again_!"

His nakama fell into stunned silence. The Strawhat captain gazed steadily at them all – then glanced back at Vera, who stared speechlessly at him. He lowered his gaze to their intertwined hands… and gave them a gentle squeeze.

Vera blinked, a light tinge of pink entering her cheeks.

Luffy faced the front. "C'mon."

He resumed walking. This time, she followed voluntarily. The others aimed weirded-out glances at each other, and one by one proceeded to lay down their silverware, scoot their chairs back, and head for the door as well. The maneaters watched them closely with hungry eyes, but didn't move from their places.

Meanwhile, Jackal jogged up behind them, huffing and puffing. "Aww, you're not leaving already!" he whined, trying in vain to recover his happy-host façade. "I wasn't done! Can't we talk about this?!"

Luffy didn't even pause. A few of the other Strawhats shot the scientist a curious look, but turned back just as quickly.

"Come on, don't be greedy! Fifteen is all I can spare!"

Luffy opened the door and started to step outside.

A cold spark glowed in Jackal's eye. "_Before you start a war with me, you better know what you're fighting for, Mugiwara_," he rumbled. There was a new tone in his voice now… like it was an entirely different person talking.

Luffy stopped.

"…Red."

Jackal raised an eyebrow. "Hah?"

The Strawhat captain turned to face his enemy, still holding onto Vera's hand. "Red is her favorite color," he stated. "Not any red, though, a dark red. The color of overripe strawberries."

Luffy went on, feeling her eyes on his face as he continued; a minute ago, he couldn't have faced this man without lunging at his throat. But somehow, he felt a calm that had been out of his reach until now… a warm calm, the sensation of the sensitive nerves between his fingers rubbing against hers. It was tingly, but it was nice. Really nice. "I don't know her favorite food, but I'm sure Sanji or Usopp does," he said. "And her favorite season is autumn, because she likes the smell of the leaves. Or was it the bonfires?"

He looked at Vera for confirmation. She tugged lightly at her hand, seeming flustered. "Ummm."

"Well, there you have it."

Luffy glared at Jackal. "Thanks for the food," he said, finally stepping through the doorway after the rest of his nakama filed through. "But we'll be leaving now. Goodbye."

_Boom_.

The sound of the door closing echoed through the foyer with finality, like the sound of a thunderclap.

_**A/N: "Luffy VS Ratchet Round 1" One Piece OST  
**__**PRESS PLAY**_

Now alone with his maneaters once again, Jackal sighed listlessly.

"Well, that could've gone better!" he sighed towards the ceiling. He scratched his head. "Oh, who am I kidding? That probably couldn't have gone any worse! Now there's no way I'll get them to willingly hand over that pretty semikami! I guess…"

A maniacal grin twisted the Marine man's face. "…I'll just have to use force~!"

He turned to Hyo. "Send the Beasties after them," he purred. "Do what you want to the pirates as usual, but as for the girl..."

The mad scientist brought a pair of handcuffs out of his pocket, rattling the chain at Hyo with a smile. "Oh, you know the drill."

The dark creature snarled excitedly, took the shackles, and hurried to obey. _Do what you want_ were magic words for him. Whether they had an otherworlder or not, whether they handed it over for or not, they were words Hyo heard every time a pirate crew stopped on his master's island. Jackal's blood money had never been refused before, but it didn't make a difference. It never had. They would exchange their semikami, part ways, and descend into the forest with mutual goodbyes and a false map to their ship... where they would die violent deaths at the claws of the Beasties and the Maneaters; and any man that escaped the pets were caught by Jackal's deadly traps, land mines, or the hungry natives. The semikami remained up in the House, oblivious to their previous shipmates' fate through the soundproof walls and windows. Until their host finally decided to show his _true_ colors. A madman. A rapist. A murderer.

A butcher.

Jackal's grin stretched wider as he took out his remote. "And now!"

He punched in a serial number and cranked up the shock level, his face far different than the friendly smiles he'd been faking for his guests. "Barker, you've been a little too talkative lately~!" he hummed. "Maybe I should… shut you up."

He thumbed the switch. "For _good_."

_Snap_.

**…**

Leagues away, in the middle of a meeting of the Barker Syndicate, Barker himself suddenly lit up in a storm of lightning – screaming and crying and wrenching at the collar that burned and melted the flesh around his neck – the sensation even more agonizing because he knew it had been coming for days. He knew there had been no way to avoid this death since the beginning. To talk, to betray, to stand up against that man in any way… everyone ended the same way. But he still screamed until nothing came from his lungs but dry smoke. Because he was frightened out of his mind.

Within seconds, the blackened remains of Barker crumbled in his chair. As if in relief. Finally out of his misery.

"BOSS!" cried his subordinates.

**…**

"Keeheehee~!" Jackal giggled, grabbing his head in both hands.

Roars and hisses and the sounds of the Beasties enveloped him as the unspeakable hoard finally woke, hungry for the flesh of their master's new enemies. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, YOU LITTLE BITCH!" he screamed, thinking of the beautiful ignorance of the Strawhats as they walked down his stairs, to the forest far, far below. The ignorance to the assurance of their own deaths. "DIE! DIE! EVERYONE JUST DIE! _HAHAHAHAHAHA_! _AHAHA_! AH –!"

– _**Soundtrack End –**_

He gasped for breath and rubbed his eyeballs, swaying slightly. "Dang, I drank _way_ too much coffee this morning~!" he sighed wistfully. "Ha ha ha…"

** .**

* * *

**A/N: Well, if that ain't crazy, I don't know what is. DON'T MESS WITH LUFFY'S GIRL, MAN. You'll get the horns! o_o**

**We finally found out why this arc is called what it is, though! Brook and his newly found native friends have gone to find the Strawhats and warn them… but will they arrive in time? We might find out those complex diet rules are easier in application. Follow! Review! Favoraite! Anticipate! And I'll see you in the next installment of SOCCP's You-Are-What-You-Eat~!**

**ALSO, AS OF TODAY I'M OPENING UP AN OFFICIAL SBS (Question & Answer) CORNER. Feel free to ask any questions you like.**


	27. Law of the Wild -feat SBS1-

**This chappie is kinda short because it's our transfer into the rest of the You-Are-What-You-Eat. Still, one-week update! YAY!**

**Also, my first SBS at the bottom! Enjoy. X3**

* * *

**Chapter 27:**

**Law of the Wild**

The sun was almost directly over their heads when the six remaining members of the Strawhat Pirates reached a small clearing only about half a mile from the base of Jackal's volcano – not as big as the first one, just large enough for them to start a fire and set up a perimeter at the edge of the trees. It was a tough place to find, and they might have to be here for a while. Good news, it was a more secure hiding place than it sounded. On the northern half of the isle, these huge, thorned trees had the girth of giants; growing so close together that moving between them was treacherous going even in a single-file line. There was always the threat of being impaled on those massive spikes. The thick briar of entangling vines underfoot made that even more of a risk. Zoro went ahead – using two of his katana to chop away the obstacles blocking their path – but even so it took every ounce of agility, wit, and caution and every bit of half an hour to reach the clearing. At least for now, they were safe. Or so they thought.

Usopp slumped by the crackling fire, exhausted. "Ahhhhh, that was a LOT of steps!" he moaned, rubbing his burning calves. "Jackal needs to install a ski lift or something for his house. I bet that guy's in _shape_, running up and down those damn stairs all the time!"

"Don't worry."

The sharpshooter glanced over at Luffy, whose gleaming eyes were shadowed by his hat. "None of us are ever going to that bastard's house ever again," he stated from his seat on the grass. "So don't worry."

Everyone looked around at the restrained rage in his voice.

The Strawhat captain clenched his fist and loosened it, releasing a breath of vaporized fury. Now that he'd released Vera, the overwhelming anger had returned in force. It burned in his stomach and built behind his eyes like scorching fire… he wanted to kick someone's ass. Send something flying. _Hit_ something!

"Luffy…?"

Nami's tone was cautious. "What _happened_ back there?" she asked, voicing the question that was bouncing around in all of their heads. "What the hell did he _say_ to you to make you act like this?"

Luffy twisted his head around abruptly. The navigator gulped and took a step back at the look in his eyes.

"HE WANTED TO BUY VERA!" the rubber man yelled. "FOR TEN MILLION BERRIES!"

His nakama's jaws dropped. "_WHAT_?!"

"Only ten million?!" Nami shouted in disbelief, counting off on her fingers. "What a miser! Her bounty is a _hundred_ million, for crying out loud! You'd think he would offer us a little more than a little measly ten million!"

The other whirled on her. "_**NAMI**_!"

"_Nami_-_san_!" Sanji yelled.

"Sorry, sorry!" the redhead apologized, waving her hands defensively and smiling abashedly at her crewmates. "It just came out… ha ha ha."

Nami whirled on Luffy. "_What_ did he say?!" she roared, now properly furious.

Robin crossed her arms, a dark look on her face. "Luffy, what exactly did he tell you?"

Their captain sprung to his feet, flailing his fists around and practically breathing fire at the treetops as he told them Jackal's words. His crew listened with varying expressions – from grinding their teeth in fury to hanging their jaws in shock to pensive, if restrained, nodding – occasionally aiming a glance in Vera's direction. The semikami didn't seem to be listening. She sat quietly on the other side of the fire, looking everywhere but at her nakama, fiddling absently with her fingers.

Meanwhile, Usopp saw this and looked over at Luffy and the others; they seemed to be distracted enough. He got halfway to his feet, inconspicuously scooting around the fire to sit beside her.

* * *

"Oi, whass wrongu?" Usopp asked.

She heard him. She just didn't answer him right away.

Vera stared, feeling a little shell-shocked, down at her fingers. _That wasn't… normal, was it? _she wondered, still feeling those big, warm, rough fingers interlaced with her own.

_**The Strawhat captain gazed steadily at his nakama, who stared back at him in stunned silence – then glanced back at Vera, who stared speechlessly at him. He lowered his gaze to their intertwined hands… and gave them a gentle squeeze.**_

_**Vera blinked, a light tinge of pink entering her cheeks.**_** …What?**

_**Luffy faced the front. "Ikuso," he murmured.**_

With a sigh, she eased her hands into fists and tucked both of them gently between her thighs, where she wouldn't see them. Luffy didn't hold hands. He just didn't! Not in any canon she'd seen, but that certainly wasn't to say he wasn't _bad_ at it. He was actually pretty good at it.

But –! Even before that…

_**Sanji's arms tightened around her. "Anata wa kanpekidesu…" he whispered.**_

**You're perfect.**

Her eyes had widened, and in an inexplicable moment of cowardice, she had pretended she hadn't known what he was saying. But she had. And even before that –!

_**She felt Zoro stiffen under her –**_ _**her lips pressed so vengefully against his own like that, with no hint of hesitation, remorse, or even attraction. For a long, electric second, she remained stiff as well – rock hard with anger and frustration – then, to both Zoro's surprise and her own, she felt her muscles actually **_**relax**_**. Her lips parted slightly. She sighed into his mouth and her fists loosened, fingernails trailing down his front, losing all their will to fight. **_

_**She had felt… relieved, kissing him. So relieved. Liberated. Like she could do anything.**_

And that very well could have been his first kiss. From some stupid, impulsive girl who didn't even know why she did it!? It was so bad not even Inner Vange needed to scold her properly. Vera bit her lip, ducking her chin against her chest and clenching her eyes shut as if she could make it all go away. This was so messed up! _She_ was so messed up! What the heck was she going to _do_ –?!

_Wait!_

Vera remembered with a start. _It doesn't matter_, _does it?_ _This is all a dream anyway… that's right._

She sighed again, feeling some measure of relief. She found herself forgetting that this world wasn't real more and more often, though. It almost scared her how often. But something like that shouldn't be hard to remember, right? Was it just her being dumb? …Or something else?

Well, that was a little disturbing.

Vera rolled her eyes internally. She'd deal with it later; Usopp was still waiting for an answer.

"Ōku no mono," she reassured him quietly, only so loud so he could hear it over Luffy's ranting. "Kinishinai. Sore wa bakada." _A lot of stuff. Never mind. It's dumb._

Usopp frowned. "Sore wa Zoro to no kotoda, ne?" he whispered back. _It's the thing with Zoro, right?_

Vera frowned back, shrugging vaguely. "Sort of. Naze?"

To her surprise, the sharpshooter smiled at her, like he knew something she didn't. "Goodu nyewsu!" he murmured. He shot a look at the rest of the crew, then held up a hand to shield his words from them as he went on. "You no Zoro's firsto kissu!"

Her eyebrows shot up. "Nani?!"

She leaned in closer, putting her ear near Usopp's mouth. "Spill it," she ordered. He snickered and quickly complied, relaying the shocking – if relieving – story in his best Engrish. Vera's brows rose higher and higher with every word, until they looked like they were about to disappear into her hairline.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sanji's visible eye ignited in fury at the conclusion of Luffy's tale. "JACKAL, YOU BASTARD!" he bellowed to the heavens. "CALLING VERA-CHWAN SUCH A THING IS UNFORGIVABLE!"

"I KNOW!" Luffy shrieked in the same tone. "UNFORGIVABLE! _UWOOOOOH_!"

Both men burst into vengeful flames, roaring in anger. But just when they looked like they were about to transform, Nami placed a hand on each of their shoulders. "Okay, you two! That's enough," she told them.

Sanji simmered down instantly. "But, Nami-san…!"

The redhead smacked them lightly upside the heads. "No buts," she ordered. "I'm just as infuriated as any of you, but we have bigger problems right now."

Luffy gasped in realization. "That's right!" he exclaimed. "Surume! What're we gonna do about _Surume_?!"

"That's _not_ what I was talking about!" Dragon-Nami yelled.

Their captain's selective hearing tuned that out. "There is no way we're leaving Surume here in the state he's in!" he declared. "When we find Franky, Chopper, and Brook and get back on the Sunny and leave this place, we'll bring him with us."

"And how to you intend to persuade a mountain-sized kraken to leave his home? He didn't recognize us before! What makes you think he'd recognize us now?!"

Luffy nodded decisively. "Hm! We'll figure something out."

Nami grabbed the front of his cardigan and shook him. "_IT'S_ _NOT_ _THAT_ _SIMPLE, BAKA_!" she yelled.

Sanji huffed and stood back to let their navigator knock some sense into their idiot captain. "Geez," the cook muttered, reaching into his jacket for his cigarettes. He pulled out a ruined box – stained red, splattered with gummy scarlet goo, and wrinkled from going through a washing machine – swore, and tossed it away. Patting himself down for his lighter, he pulled it out and popped it open. A small flame winked to life; thank god, it still worked. The blonde let out a sound of relief. He sat heavily on the grass with it, shutting it, then opening it again. Snap. _Ping_! Snap. _Ping_!

Sanji held the flame of his lighter up to his cobalt blue eye, comparing it to the blaze of their campfire… when he noticed Vera over the flames, wearing a surprised expression as Usopp whispered in her ear.

Her broken voice echoed in his ears as he remembered. _**"First Zoro… now this?" she had whimpered.**_

"_**What happened with Zoro?" he had asked her, trying to sound professional. If she was this upset, the shitty swordsman couldn't have just been being stupid. He had to have done something bad. **_

_**Vera stiffened slightly.**_

_**Her hands curled into fists. "Nothing…" she murmured.**_

Sanji's eyes glided away from her face, landing on a certain green-haired swordsman who was standing a slight distance from the others – he'd been keeping to himself for a while, now. _**"Mm."**_

He shut his lighter once last time, tucked it in his pocket, and stood up. "Oi."

Zoro blinked, slightly startled, but he recovered quickly and met the blonde's glare with his usual balance of annoyance and acknowledgement. His thoughts had been elsewhere. "What do you want, ero-cook?" he grouched.

Sanji came to a stop before him, his eyes filled with an unusual amount of malice. "Don't act innocent with me," the blonde growled down at him. "What did you do to Vera-chan to make her so upset?"

"_Hahhhh_?" Zoro drawled, still not getting it. "What the hell are you going on about?"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT!" Sanji yelled.

The swordsman blinked, taken aback by his rival's fierce look. The cook wasn't messing around like usual. He was actually _pissed_. "She was almost crying!" the other man continued. "What the _hell_ did you do?!"

Zoro's eye unintentionally flickered past the angry blonde in his bewilderment. "I don't…!"

* * *

Vera backed away from Usopp and stared incredulously at her friend. "Okay… let's see if I have this right?" she murmured. "Zoro already had his first kiss. When he was a kid. From a girl while he was training. Right?"

The sharpshooter nodded cheerfully. "Righto! Is goodu nyewsu, ne?"

The semikami nodded absently. "Nn…"

Meanwhile, Vera's eyes drifted over her friend's shoulder towards the swordsman in question – who, for some reason, was being yelled at by Sanji. Luffy was still being scolded by Dragon-Nami at full volume. But the voices faded into the background, drowned out by her own thoughts as she watched him. _From the description…_ she realized.

_It sounds like Kuina._

At that moment, Zoro happened to glance over. Their eyes met.

Vera jumped and immediately feigned that her gaze had just been passing over him on the way to examine the tree behind her. It didn't fool him.

* * *

Zoro's eye narrowed at the chijo, who was surreptitiously avoiding his gaze. _Figures._

He stood up and began to walk away; he felt her eyes on him again. "Oi, where do you think you're going?!" Sanji barked. The cook reached angrily for his shoulder, as if to stop him. "I'm not done with you!"

The swordsman slapped his hand away and turned. "I'm going for a walk!" he growled, glaring. "Is that a crime now?"

He glanced over the blonde's shoulder.

She was still looking.

Zoro made a noise of frustration and turned back around, walking into the trees. "Tch! I need some air," declared the swordsman. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"NO YOU WON'T! YOU'LL GET LOST, SHITTY MARIMO! GET BACK HERE!"

But Zoro was already gone, vanished in the murky miasma of the isle's forest; Sanji roared in indignation, scratching his head so fast it was as if he was rubbing in shampoo. "_Dammit_!" he yelled. "It's like it goes in one ear and out the other! I don't know what I was _thinking_, trying to talk to a musclehead like him!"

He stalked away, rightly pissed off. "Fine, who cares about that dumbass?!"

Vera spared a look for her sensei… then glanced back at the trees where Zoro had vanished.

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone jumped and looked around as Nami shook Luffy one more time and tossed him away. "Look, I know you wanna help that monster, but there's nothing we can do!" the navigator told him. "And there's another problem!"

Luffy fixed his hat on his hair. "Hah? What's that?" he asked.

"Even if we find Franky, Chopper, Brook, and the Sunny, we still can't leave."

Nami raised her left wrist where he could see it. Only Nojiko's gold bracelet dangled from it, now. "Luffy," she said gravely. "When the ship flipped… I lost the Log Pose."

Everyone blinked.

Then it sunk in. "_**WHAAAAT?!**_" they screamed.

Usopp clutched his head in anxiety. "We're _doooooomed_!" he shrieked, not noticing Vera get up from her place beside him and steal over to the forest; she slunk through an opening between the trees and was gone. "Are we gonna die?! We're gonna die, aren't we?! We're gonna _dieeeee_…!"

Even Robin seemed startled. "What are we going to do, Navigator-san?" she asked.

Nami scratched her head. "I really don't know," the redhead replied. Her gleaming brown eyes aimed towards the coast, stress etching a line between her brows. "Even if we do find the Sunny _and_ she isn't damaged _and_ we find some sort of Eternal Pose lying around, the All-Catch Current isn't going to make sailing away easy. It would be like trying to swim our way out of the center of a whirlpool! No matter how I look at it…"

She sighed. "For the time being, we're stuck here."

Luffy blinked. "Wow. So we're really screwed, huh?" he asked, scratching his head through his hat.

"That's one way to put it…"

"UGH! Damn!"

Then, Nami raised an eyebrow at him. "Uh, is something the matter with you?" she asked, watching the rubber man grab the brim of his straw hat and drag it back and forth over his hair.

Luffy frantically scratched his butt. "I don't know!" he whined. "My head and my ass just got really itchy all of a sudden! Nnnngh!"

Robin frowned neutrally at him as he sat down and began to drag himself across the grass, while still trying to scratch his head with one hand. "Well, it's rather disturbing, Captain-san," she told him. "Please stop."

"I can't! I can't! It's gonna –!"

Suddenly, his straw hat jumped on his head. _Poink_!

"GYAAAH!"

Eyes bugging in shock, Luffy jumped to his feet with his hands on his buttocks. "THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY PANTS!" he shrieked. "GET IT OUT!"

The other Strawhats cringed away, boggled as they watched their captain's back. He was writhing in place like one of those crazy plastic banner-men in front of store fronts. His hat jumped around on his hair by no visible trigger, as if a tiny animal was trapped beneath it or something!

"The hell?!" Sanji yelled.

"Luffy, whatever you're doing, _quit_ it!" Usopp shrieked. "You're freakin' us out!"

"I'm not _doing_ anything!" the rubber man insisted.

Suddenly, something dark and furry bulged out of the back hem of his shorts. Everyone screamed. Luffy spasmed violently. "IT'S HERE!" he cried, jumping so hard his hat fell off his head.

He hooked his thumbs in his belt loops and started to pull them down. "THAT'S IT!"

Nami screamed. "_Woah woah woah woah woah_!" Sanji yelled, covering the two women's eyes. Luffy's hat floated to the ground, touching the grass with a gentle _paff_. "Don't you dare moon the ladies, you shithead! I wll kick your –!"

Suddenly, the thing in their captain's pants popped free.

Sanji froze, dumbfounded. "…_Eh_?"

Usopp made a choking sound.

Luffy raised his head – floppy dog ears twitching curiously in his hair – and turned to look at the fluffy black tail that had suddenly sprouted from his butt.

"AH! It's a _taaaaaaaaaail_!" he yelled.

He went to grab the furry appendage, but just before his fingers could close on it… it twitched out of his reach. He grabbed at it again, and missed it again. He reached farther, and farther, until he was spinning in circles after it. "Raaaaah, get back here!" he yelled at it. "You're annoying!"

His nakama stared at their captain.

Not taking her eyes off the bizarre spectacle before them, Nami leaned over to Robin. "What just happened?" she whispered.

Even the archeologist seemed dumbfounded. "Captain-san appears to have turned into a bakeinu…"

The navigator made a face. "I can see _that_. But what _happened_?"

But just then, a familiar voice echoed from the depths of the forest. "I think I have an answer to that!" it called. "_Yohohoho_~!"

Luffy pattered to a halt. "Hm?"

Sanji, Usopp, Robin, and Nami turned to look. "W-W-W-What was th-that…?" their cowardly sharpshooter stammered, trembling so hard even the tip of his nose vibrated.

The others braced themselves for battle, eyes fixed on the dark opening between the trees. After everything they'd gone through in a single morning, sure as hell nothing was gonna surprise them now…!

Suddenly, a tiny green soul – resembling a giant loogie – drifted out from the darkness and into the sunlight. "It's me-desu~!" Brook chirped.

They stared at it. The thing stared back.

"…"

"…"

"…Oh, it's Brook!" Sanji realized aloud.

"BROOK!" Luffy crowed, momentarily forgetting his body's mysterious transformation and throwing his arms up in celebration. "Yahoo! We found you! But why are you in soul form? Where's your body? You _do_ still have your body, right?!"

Luffy turned around and bent over, presenting their musician with a view of his new tail. "And did you say you could explain this?" he demanded, waggling his hindquarters and peering between his legs up at Brook. His puppy ears twitched again. "What is this?!"

"Ahhh… that's right," Brook realized. "Luffy-san is a rubber man, so his metabolism is faster than a normal human's. It stands to reason he'd transform faster than the others."

"Rubber man?"

Bai emerged from the trees slowly, looking confused. The metal caps on his dreadlocks clicked against each other warily. "Did he swallow a piece of chewing gum or something?" the boy asked, gripping his spear uncertainly at the sight of so many strangers.

"No, a Devil Fruit."

"He ate a fruit?! How come he's not dead?!"

Balsalabad nodded from around his youthful bearer's neck, but still looked a bit weirded out. "Ah, another Devil Fruit user."

Sanji blinked at the newcomers. _It's that kid!_

Luffy gaped. "Ah! It's the talking ferret that warned us about Surume!"

The child's big green eyes flicked to them – widening slightly when they noticed Sanji – but moved just as quickly away. "Brook!" Nami barked. "Who are these two?!"

"Ah, yes." Their musician's spectral form turned to present the natives to his nakama. "This is Bai and Balsalabad. The boy is Bai, and the old ferret is Balsalabad!"

"I'M NOT A FERRET! _Coff coff coff_! Bleuack…"

"They live here, and were kind enough to explain to me the strange laws of nature that apply on this island, so I brought them here to explain it to you as well! But perhaps it's more accurate to say they led me! Yohohoho~!"

"Well that's all shitty good, but what are you talking about, 'transformation?'" Sanji asked the spectral skeleton.

The cook looked at Balsalabad. "And the ferret's name sounds like salad dressing…"

Luffy moaned. "Awww, now I'm _hungry_~!"

"That's _balsamic_, idiot!" the old ferret yelled. "And how many times do I gotta say it, I'm not a ferret!"

"Yeah," Sanji muttered sarcastically. "And I'm a talking _chicken_."

"P-Please, everyone!" Brook announced, seeming flustered. "They are natives to this island, and have important things to share with you."

He bowed his spectral skull to Bai and Balsalabad. "Please, go ahead!"

The two natives eyed the Strawhats distrustingly… but explained nonetheless.

**.oOo.**

* * *

Deep in the forest, Vera brushed a vine away from her face. _Stupid marimo! I didn't think he'd camouflage so well in this place!_

Normally, the semikami would never have done this in a million years – go after Roronoa Zoro into a crazy dangerous labyrinth of foliage that even a _normal_ person could get lost in – but in this situation, she figured the best way to find their stray moss was to get lost and keep her eyes open. So far, her plan was a success. She had _NO_ idea where she was.

_He can't have gotten that far, _Vera reasoned with herself. _I'll find him eventually._

After all, there was no way to find her way back by now… and she had a mission. It wasn't optional for her. She needed to talk to Zoro.

So, she kicked a briar off her ankle and moved deeper into the forest. Out of earshot of the sudden cry that went up amongst her nakama back in the clearing, so loud it would have shaken the leaves from the trees.

* * *

**…**

"_EHHHHHH_?!"

"W-Wait!" Luffy cried, holding up his hands. Bai and Balsalabad looked at him. "So, on this island, about an hour after we eat some kinda meat we turn into whatever we ate?! And until we poop it out we'll stay that way?!"

"That's right."

"And eating fruits or vegetables will kill you?!"

"Yes."

The rubber man aimed a pointed look at Sanji. "See?" he pouted, dog ears rotating around like satellite dishes. "I told you vegetables were deadly."

"THAT'S JUST HERE, BAKA!" the cook snarled. "You should be more concerned that you were eating _dog_ _meat_!"

Luffy thought about that. "Hmmm… in that case, dogs are delicious!" he grinned, picking up his hat.

Sanji huffed. He reached for his cigarettes again before he remembered he didn't have them anymore, then swore and kicked at the grass; the lack of nicotine in his system made him irritable, and this kind of news didn't help at all! Still, now the actions of that kid – Bai, wasn't it? – made more sense.

"_**You want to die…?!" came a gasp, echoed by the skull's confines. "You ass…!"**_

With a start, the cook realized he had dodged a bullet with that one. If the kid hadn't stopped him from eating that carrot, he might have been sprouting green leaves on his head in an hour, and then a slow, painful death by his vital organs slowly shriveling up out of existence. Eventually, he'd just be another one of those blood-orange vegetables, lying on the ground with none of his nakama the wiser.

_Now that I think about it,_ Sanji realized with a shiver. _That carrot might not have been a carrot at all! It could have been some poor bastard who didn't know any better! Geez… that was almost _me_!_

Suddenly, something occurred to Usopp. "Hey!"

He raised his hand. "I have a question," he told the two natives, and put it down. "See, Luffy caught this _massive_ fish – but when it pooped, it was suddenly this shrimpy little piranha! Its poop was, uh… glowing."

"_**GAAAAH!" Luffy had wailed. "WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?!"**_

_**Several people nearly jumped out of their skins at their captain's scream. They whirled to see that, in the place of the massive, twelve-foot meal that had been wriggling around on the deck a moment ago, there was only a single one of those tiny, black-speckled piranhas; the same kind that they had seen eating the shark that had attacked Nami. It lay in the grass next to a purple-glowing pile of excretions, limp as a noodle. Everyone gaped at it in disbelief.**_

Balsalabad stared flatly at him. "Yes?" he croaked.

"Well, could you tell us anything about that?"

Bai raised an eyebrow, seeming incredulous. "What are you talking about? Poop always glows, crazies!" he stated matter-of-factly.

The ferret patted his fishy ear. "No, no. Outside of this island, poop doesn't normally glow," said the old man.

"Seriously? That's weird."

Balsalabad glanced apologetically up at the pirates. "Sorry 'bout him. This is his first time actually talking to people from the outside," he rasped, laughing and hacking. The boy sulked. "Ha ha! _Coff coff_!"

The grizzled ferret cleared his throat and continued. "Bleughh… yes. See, when beings eat each other on this island, they absorb the physical power of their victim. It has a multiplier effect on their own power level."

"So, the more powerful a creature you eat, the more powerful _you_ get?" Robin asked.

"You're sharp, young lady! It's actually helpful to us… because depending on the color of feces you come across, you can tell how powerful it is. Only a handful of creatures are above Blue Level, though –!"

"What? _Blue_ Level?" Luffy moaned, eyes spinning.

Balsalabad aimed his beady ferret eyes incredulously at the whimpering captain – then craned his head around to Robin. "Maybe I should just talk to you, young lady. _Coff_!"

The archeologist chuckled. "Maybe so."

"Either way, you familiar with the ultraviolet spectrum?"

Robin nodded. "Of course. Depending on how intense the UV rays are, in the visible spectrum they appear in different colors," she replied. Her nakama looked on, giant question marks blinking over most of their heads. "In ascending order they are violet, blue, green, yellow, orange and red."

Balsalabad bared a toothless, gummy grin. "So smart! I like you!" he barked. "It works the same way here. That piranha you caught had the lowest level of accumulated power on this island, Violet Level. So when it transformed back, you saw how strong it was after eating that giant fish."

"Fascinating."

The others waved their hands at her. "_No, no. Confusing_."

Brook floated between the natives. "Why didn't you tell me about this power system before?" the ghost asked.

Bai stared blankly up at him. "You didn't ask."

"Ah."

Robin tapped her mouth thoughtfully. "So – I cannot believe I am asking this – but what… _color_ are _you_ two?" she asked.

Balsalabad considered that for a minute. "Well," he croaked, "last time I checked I was a light blue-green color. But I've been like that for twenty years and I'm old, so my power is not much use for fighting. Bai, however –!"

He patted his grandson's hollow cheek. "Is a solid Level Green!"

Bai swatted away the tiny paw. "Gramps!"

"Ohhh, my cute grandson is embarrassed! Don't worry, my boy! All you have to do is grow up a little more, and there's no way you won't get a girlfriend with that kind of excretion! Just stay regular."

Bai was appalled. "_GRAMPS_!"

Luffy smacked Usopp's shoulder. "Hey, his poop is _green_!" he giggled, pointing at Bai. "That's so funny! _Ahahaha_ –!"

Usopp snorted. "Says the bakeinu!"

They both burst out laughing, until Dragon-Nami smacked them both to the dirt. "This is hard enough to understand without you two messing around!" she shrieked as steaming lumps rose on both of their heads. "Shut up!"

"_Showwy_…"

"And you, too!" She turned back to the verbal squabble between the two natives. "SHUT UP!"

Bai and Balsalabad fell silent in terror.

When all was quiet, Nami harrumphed and crossed her arms. "So, if there's a power system on this island, what can you tell us about Jackal and his pets?" she asked.

Their eyes widened slightly.

Bai looked at Balsalabad. "Should I?"

The old ferret shrugged and gestured with a paw to go ahead. The young boy straightened, fixing the Strawhats with his intent green eyes. "Well, the Maneaters range all across Yellow Level," he said gravely. "Last time the kittens – Hyo and Tora?"

Luffy's mouth twisted angrily at the memory of Franky's screams of pain as his shoulder was ripped open and his collarbone snapped like a toothpick. "Yeah, we met 'em."

"Last time I found of theirs, it was just about to breach Level Orange."

Usopp balked. "Ehh?! But wouldn't that make them, like, the most powerful things on this island?!"

Nami bit her knuckle pensively. "Yet they were practically kissing Jackal's ass to get his approval," she murmured, remembering how the two wildcats had submitted so readily to the scientist. "What about him? Do you know about him?"

Sanji crossed his arms, a dark look on his face. "Yeah. I'm pretty damn sure we want to know about that bastard's power level," he muttered angrily. "Not that it's gonna matter when I put my shoe so far up his ass he's gonna need surgery to remove it!"

Bai hesitated. "I… I couldn't tell you about Jackal."

"Huh? Why not?"

"Because I don't _know_," the native boy replied. "I've never seen his level. I've never seen him transform, either. Not even when we were – hm?"

Bai was cut off by a gentle slap on his sharp cheekbone. He stared at Balsalabad's beady, warning gaze. "Oh."

The Strawhats raised their eyebrows. _Hm?_

The boy crouched, suddenly becoming very interested a particular blade of grass at his feet. "Well, yeah," he murmured. He plucked it and examined it, using it as an excuse to hide his face from view. "Either way, I couldn't tell you. So…"

"_**You have to survive…!"**_

"_**TAKE CARE OF HIM!"**_

"_**That's my boy."**_

Bai grit his teeth – then released a sigh, and tossed the blade of grass away.

Sanji's eyes narrowed, unconvinced.

Nami, however, took his word and shrugged it off. "I guess you can't help it if you don't know," she mused, scratching her head. "Still, thanks for the help. Even if it's confusing and a lot to process, geez…!"

Balsalabad raised his balding grey head. "Oh, we're not doing this out of the goodness of our hearts. _Coff_ _coff_!"

"What, Brook scared you into it?"

"I humbly _resent_ that comment, Nami-san!" the soul protested.

Bai shook his head. "No! He said you guys have a first-class cook~! And if we came to explain everything to you, you'd serve us a feast!" the skinny boy told them. His eyes lit up, sparkling. "Which one of you is it?!"

Everyone turned to look at a shell-shocked Sanji.

The cook stood there for a moment.

Then, he beckoned to Brook's floating green soul. "Oi, shitty skeleton," the blonde muttered, hair hanging over his eyes. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Their musician blinked and floated over. "What is it, Sanji-san?" he asked.

Sanji took a deep, deeeeeep breath, trying to keep himself in check. "How, pray tell…" he asked quietly, "am I supposed to cook a feast _**when I have no ingredients**_?! We don't even have food for _ourselves_!"

Brook's jaw dropped. "Ah –!"

"DON'T ACT LIKE YOU FORGOT!" Sanji yelled. He turned to their navigator. "Nami-swan, what will we doooo?"

After a long moment of silence… Nami finally took her hand off her head. "Well, as long as we're here, we should probably set up camp!" she declared decisively. She pointed an authoritative finger at Luffy, Sanji, Usopp, and Bai. "You guys go get some provisions! Kid, you go with them and tell them what's safe to eat! Hop to, you four!"

Bai choked indignantly. "Wha-What?"

The navigator leaned down to look him in the eye, breasts swaying. "You want a feast?" she asked rhetorically. "You're gonna have to earn it! You gotta help us first!"

Sanji tried to interject. "B-But Nami-san, I still don't have…"

"THAT'S AN ORDER!"

The Strawhat boys saluted hastily. "Hai!"

The native boy opened his mouth to protest – then reconsidered and closed it. "Is she always like this?" he whispered to Luffy, disgruntled.

The captain grinned. "Shishishishi! Pretty much!"

The navigator nodded with approval at her soldiers. _I'm not sure what we're gonna do about that feast Brook promised them, but Sanji-kun's right. We can't do anything without food and supplies first, _she deduced._ We'll figure something out later. _"Good! Zoro and Robin can stay here to protect Vera and me!"

_So that's your motive…_ Usopp thought, a drop of awkward sweat running down his face as the busty redhead propped her hands on her hips and glanced around.

Suddenly, Nami blinked in surprise. "Huh?" She looked back at the guys in a panic when she saw a couple of their nakama were missing. "Hey, where are Zoro and Vera?!" she demanded. "They were here a second ago, weren't they?!"

Luffy's ears went straight up. "_What_?"

Sanji started. "T-The shitty marimo said he was going for a walk," he said, eyes wide. "But Vera-chan's gone, too? Vera-chan!"

"_Veraaaa_!"

Bai's nose scrunched up as they began to circle the campsite, calling for their missing nakama. There was a peculiar scent on the wind. The native boy whipped his head around. It was a scent he knew very well by now.

Something rustled in the brush a hundred meters out. Something big.

"Beasties," Bai informed the Strawhats.

He made sure Balsalabad was wound tight around his neck and darted for the nearest tree. "They travel in packs. I'd run if I was you," he told them, grabbing onto a vine. He hauled himself up easily – again showing surprising strength despite his skinny limbs; a couple seconds later he was at least ten feet off the ground. "Hup!"

They looked up at him.

Luffy cocked his ears confusedly. "…Eh?"

For one second, it was quiet.

Then – with no further warning – a huge hoard of Beasties exploded from the brush. They fell on the Strawhats, teeth and claws flashing, foaming, snarling, hissing, and spitting like demons from Hell.

Eyes bugged. "**GYAAAAA**!"

Luffy, Sanji, Nami, Robin, and Usopp scattered like cockroaches to avoid being crushed as Jackal's satanic drones flooded into the clearing; in such a small space, driving them apart took nothing more than sheer _numbers_, an advantage which the Beasties definitely had on their side. The pirates were overwhelmed in an instant.

Given no other choice, Nami ran for her life, breasts heaving.

Suddenly, a spot of color in the corner of her eye made her look to the tree, where Bai and Balsalabad had taken shelter in the highest branches, where there didn't seem to be any thorns. Their eyes were trained on the group of Beasties that were clustered around the base of their tree. However, the monsters seemed almost wary at the scent of these particular humans; there were only a few, and the few that there were were discouraged from climbing by the countless spikes that coated the trunk. The two natives didn't even seem to be concerned with the Strawhat's welfare.

For some reason, that pissed Nami off to no end. "You _coward_!" she shrieked at the boy. "What the hell do you think you're _doing_, sitting there on your ass?! HELP US!"

Bai just looked at her, seeming confused. "I told you they were coming," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Now you fight alone. Every man for himself."

_**The chief cannibal raised his spear to the rest of his tribe. "Every man for himself!" he declared, and dove over the side of the Sunny.**_

A tic pulsed in her forehead. "_WHAT_?!"

Suddenly, an enormous Beastie took notice of Nami's shouting and pounced towards her. "Navigator-san!" Robin warned. She ran in front of the younger woman and crossed her arms. "_Viente Fluer_! _Calendula!_"

Ten arms each flowered on her elbows, transforming the limbs into circular shock absorbers, barely in time to block as both women were sideswept by the giant paw. "AHHH!"

Robin winced at the pain in her arms. "_Ah_…!"

But just then, a powerful, clawed grip fastened around their biceps, stopping them in mid-air. The women shrieked, their long red and raven hair flying with the impact. It was like slamming into a steel _wall_.

For a moment, all was still.

Then, they looked up, up, up… into Hyo's pale green eyes.

Nami gasped. Robin's blood ran cold.

**…**

Watching it all from the lens on his best Maneater's collar, Jackal stabbed his obsidian knife into the table. He ran his tongue over his teeth at their expressions. Ever since he had first seen these two _juicy_ bitches, he had wondered what they'd look like when Hyo did his magic on them.

It was part of the reason he liked the panther so much. Even over his other kitten, Tora, who just attacked for meat and fear. Hyo always put on a show for his master…

Having his way with his victims before – or even while – he was eating them. Claimed it made them taste better afterward.

"_**Tora prefers the bigger men, but Hyo..." Jackal had bit back a smirk, like he was laughing at some inside joke. "Hyo's not picky."**_

Normally, the Marine scientist found "playing with your food" detestable.

He went back to watching, with a maniacal, lecherous grin on his face. But he liked this. He liked this a lot.

**…**

Hyo looked between the two women in his grip. After a moment, he decided the red-haired was seemed younger – more succulent. But the raven wasn't half bad either. He dropped Robin and pinned her beneath his foot so she wouldn't crawl away.

Sanji whirled around, eyes wide when he saw their situation. They'd be killed! "_Nami_-_san_! _Robin_-_chan_!" he cried, making a move to go help them – but he was forced back a step by the snapping fangs of another monster. He kicked it in the head and moved forward again, but he was driven back further and further by the sheer volume of Beasties. He couldn't get close, no matter how hard he tried! "Panther bastard, don't you _dare_ touch them –!"

Hyo paid no mind to the furious human.

Tears streamed from Nami's eyes, crying like a child as the beast turned her around and pulled her soft behind against his pelvis. Huge, dark fingers grasped her breast. "P-Please…! Don't! No…!"

Hyo pressed his hand over her eyes.

"Shhhhh…" he shushed her, tapping his collar with a hooked black claw. "Master doesn't like tears…"

The navigator couldn't stop. Not being able to see anything made it even more terrifying. Relishing the way she trembled against him, Hyo sniffed her delicately – like a wine connoisseur analyzing a bouquet before consumption – and drew his rough, hot tongue up her neck… until he found her pulse point. He licked it and snarled with appreciation.

"_Scream_," he told her.

Nami squeaked, throat constricting with fear. "Help…!"

"That's right… bit louder…"

The great cat opened his jaws so wide one could fit a basketball into his cavernous mouth. Sinews cracked. Long ropes of saliva dripped from his fangs onto her skin. A ravenous, moist breath – smelling of blood – washed over her.

Nami whimpered.

"**SCREAM**!"

She screamed. "_HELP ME_!"

Hyo roared triumphantly and lunged, alive and resurrected.

Bai averted his eyes.

Then –!

"GOMU GOMU NO –!" came a familiar, hoarse-throated yell.

_** BAM!**_

A steaming, red rubber fist connected soundly with the side of the wildcat's head, hitting him so hard he was blasted clear across the grass and deep into the forest. Robin pulled her face out of the dirt, coughing.

Their captain followed through his punch. "JET PISTOL!"

Nami collapsed, her knees gone weak with relief. "Luffy…!"

Luffy pulled both girls to their feet, not taking his eyes off the dark brush where Hyo had flown. "That's not going to finish him!" he told them.

He pushed them towards Sanji. "_Run_!"

"But what about you?!"

"I'll be fine! GO!" Luffy ordered, putting up his fists. Sure enough, the panther was getting back up. And it looked _pissed_. "I can take this bastard! Find the others! We'll all meet at the Sunny as soon as we can!"

Still they hesitated. "But –!"

Sanji kicked away the monsters snapping at his heels to clear a path. "Nami-san! Robin-chan!" the cook yelled, reaching out. "Luffy's got this! Let's get out of here!"

The women glanced back at their captain.

Hyo emerged from the brush – teeth bared, long black tail flicking in irritation. Luffy braced himself.

Nami and Robin ran.

Sanji pulled them towards the forest, aiming one last look at the rubber man. "If you die, you're not getting anything for dinner, shithead!" he yelled.

Usopp fled across the clearing, chased by an army of Beasties. "KYAAAA!"

Suddenly, he was clotheslined by a strong hand. "Oh, will you just SHUT UP?!" barked a gruff voice.

The sharpshooter turned to see a familiar blonde head. "Eh?!" he yelped. "Sanji-kun?"

Sanji grabbed his arm and yanked him into the forest with Nami and Robin. "This way!" he yelled, taking the lead through the treacherous underbrush.

Hyo crouched, snarling at the rubber man. This human had punched him… and it had _hurt_. Food could wait. This was a threat.

Anger clouded Luffy's face. "Your master likes screams, then?" he growled.

The Strawhat captain launched himself forward, roaring a furious war cry. "THEN SEND HIM YOUR OWN! UWOOOOHHH –!"

The wildcat met his attack head-on. _**KABOOOOM!**_

The shockwave smacked Sanji, Nami, Robin, and Usopp in the back as they ran, blasting through the monsters that chased them and nearly lifting them off their feet. "Will Luffy be okay?!" the navigator yelled, still a bit shaken.

"'Course he will!" Sanji told her. He slammed away a Beastie that was snapping at his ankles. "I'd be more worried about these shitty things! Damn, long nose, did you have to goad so many into chasing you?!"

The sharpshooter spun in the air, grabbing his Black Kabuto. "Leave it to me! Hissatsu: Green Star –!"

Usopp snatched a pod from his bag, aimed, and fired. "_Devil_!"

_Twang_! Green vines burst from the ground, wrapping around several Beasties. The monsters roared and frothed, but were eaten nonetheless by the killer plants; the other creatures hesitated for a moment at this new threat and stared at it – perhaps wondering if it was edible – but by the time they refocused on the fleeing pirates, Usopp had launched half a dozen more Pop Greens into their midst. "_Devil_! _Devil_! _Rafflesia_! _Humandrake_!" he yelled. "_Impact_ _Wolf_!"

Each maneating plant erupted into existence, scattering the oncoming Beasties like bowling pins. "Nice, Usopp!" Sanji called back with a grin. "Keep it up –!"

Suddenly, his foot touched down on a mound of dirt.

**Click**!

Sanji glanced down at it. "What the…?" he began.

There was a blinding flash of light.

_**KABLAAAM!**_

**…**

Jackal winced. "Oooh, bad luck, Curly!" he exclaimed, even if the pirates couldn't hear him. "Strayed into the mine field."

**…**

There was an earth-shattering explosion. Nami and Robin screamed as a fist of hot air and flame slammed them over a short precipice and into a fast-moving river. The slimy, bloodred water swept them away yelling; they were out of sight in a matter of seconds. Sanji disappeared over the trees – trailing smoke and out cold.

"_Guys_!" Usopp cried, eyes wide.

An enormous nose whuffled at his hair. The sniper choked.

He turned to face the Beasties that had fought free of his Pop Greens. And it looked like they know who shot them.

Usopp giggled weakly. "Hellooo…"

The answering roar nearly blew his hat off. "RAWWWWRRR!"

He fled, screaming and avoiding explosions as he went. _KABLAM_! _KABOOM_! "_KYYYAAAAAA_!"

**…**

Thorns dug into Luffy's sandaled feet. "OW!"

The Strawhat captain jumped away as a dark panther claw pulverized the patch of briar he'd been standing in. Hyo pulled his huge, long hands out of the thorns – completely unharmed – and lunged after his opponent. _Ah, this is no good!_ Luffy thought to himself tensely, barely evading a quick flurry of blows meant to split his head like a melon. _He's just as fast as I am, but _his_ body's toughened against this kinda stuff… and I can't attack him if I can't stand in one place for long!_

He leaped away with a cringe as the thorns dug painfully into his feet and ankles again. He ran his gaze over the forest floor. _I gotta find some secure footing…_

The rubber man saw a bare patch of leafy ground, next to a clumsy picket sign. "That'll do!" he exclaimed, descending toward it. "Yoop!"

But just as his feet touched it… a hole opened under him. _Crunch_.

Luffy's ears twitched. "Eh? _Waaaaaaah_!"

That was all he had time to say before he fell down, down, down almost twenty feet into a pitfall trap. He hit the bottom in a puff of dust and a painful-sounding smack. "_Oof_!" he grunted, losing Gear Second. His skin faded back to its normal tan hue. "Ouch ouch ouch…"

Hyo landed in the thorns.

His pale green eyes flicked to the picket sign, which read: _DANGER. PITFALL._

The panther frowned and aimed an incredulous glance at the hole. Was this guy seriously that stupid?

At the bottom of the pitfall, Luffy got to his feet. It was then that a metallic _clang_ made him look up, just as dark grey bars slid shut over the top of his prison. "Hah?" the rubber man wondered aloud. "Iron?"

He stretched his arms up towards the grid. "Well, that's no problem!" he scowled. "Gomu Gomu no –!"

Hyo braced himself.

Luffy wrapped his fingers around the bars. "_ROCK_uuuuhnnn…!"

Without warning, the Devil Fruit user sagged and moaned, feeling suddenly weak. "Uwooohhh… I'm losing… my strength…"

Hyo stood there for a second, just feeling awkward.

Then he turned and walked away. Luffy heard his retreating footsteps and – using what strength he had left – pulled his face up to the bars. "Hey, whereddya think yurr goin'?!" he demanded. "Get back 'ere so I can kick your nnnnnngh…!"

The panther barely even paused. Strawhat might be a decent fighter, but he didn't tolerate idiots. Especially not human ones.

Plus, if he was worthy prey, he'd have another chance.

**…**

Jackal's mouth twisted. "Sheesh, I forgot that pit was even there!" he muttered. "No one's ever been stupid enough to fall into it…"

He leaned back with a smile. "Well, he's not getting out of that! Those bars are Sea Stone, luckily. Thank you, Navy supplier! For once."

The madman turned to Tora. "Be a darling and go give Hyo a helping paw, will you, girl?" he asked cheerily. "Live One wasn't there in the initial attack, which means we're gonna have to comb the forest for that darn semikami~! That'll take time."

Tora obeyed wordlessly. Jackal bit his thumb pensively, eyes back on the screen. From his experience, pirate crews were like cockroaches; if you didn't squash them all at once, one part of it was always gonna keep twitching… maybe even bite you. At this point, it was inevitable. But unlike normally, there was a lot more at stake in this chase than just the lives of a couple miserable sea-roaches like the Mugiwara no Ichimi.

"Oh well! It'll all work itself out in the end~!"

The Marine scientist spun Fernandelwinkle over the tops of his fingers, grabbed the hilt, and slammed the glassy obsidian blade under his hand. "Ohhh~!" he sang, stabbing back and forth between his fingers happily.

"I have all my Beasties!  
Their fangs go snap, snap, snap!  
But if we miss just one Strawhat, you somehow all will live.  
So if we kill you all now,  
I know I'll have my prize.  
I play this game  
'Cuz I will win  
And you're all gonna die!  
Ohhh… snapsnapsnapsnapsnap!  
They're coming after you~!  
'Cuz if we miss just one Strawhat, you somehow all will live!"

_WHAM_! "But still, we need to finish this up quickly if we're gonna find her by sundown," Jackal mused, carelessly resheathing his knife. "That swordsman wasn't there in the initial attack either. Best to keep an eye out for him, too…"

**…**

Bai glanced down from his perch. The clearing was mostly empty by now, only a few stray Beasties still snuffling around the base of the tree. He broke off a few thorns from the trunk and hurled them at the monsters with a grunt of effort; the sharp end imbedded themselves in the patches of soft skin and hide they found. The mutants yipped and skittered away. Aiming one last hungry look up at the boy, they wandered aimlessly into the bushes – carelessly dripping blood as they went, not even bothering to take the spikes out of their flesh.

The maroon-haired child sighed wearily and rested his spear on his knees. He'd been avoiding those things for what felt like a lifetime. But the thrill, the fear... it wore off so quickly, to be replaced only by sadness and exhaustion.

"Well, they did come from the House," Bai muttered to himself. "I suppose it was only a matter of time before Jackal sent 'em after those pirates."

He rubbed his belly sadly. "I guess we won't be getting our feast after all," he sulked. "And I wonder why that woman was so upset with me? I warned her they were _coming_, didn't I? What else did she want me to do…?"

A tiny paw patted his neck. "Hey."

Bai looked down at Balsalabad's wide, beady eyes. "What is it?" he asked, expecting one of his inspirational bits of wisdom.

"Uh… I gotta go."

The boy's eyes went round. "W-What?!" he yelped. "Get off me if you gonna do that!"

"No time!" the ferret rasped, clenching his lower belly muscles. "When old people gotta go, they gotta go!"

"GRAMPS, DON'T –!"

"Nnnnnnnngh…! Ahhh."

Bai's pained cry echoed through the forest. "Uwaaaaah, it's hot! It stinks! It _burrrrrrns_!"

"Ohhhh, it _is_ blue-green! I knew it!"

"YOU ARE _SO_ NOT FUNNY RIGHT NOW, OLD GEEZER!"

**…**

* * *

Vera facepalmed. _Seriously, where IS he?! Stupid Zoro!_

A vine swatted her in the face. She swatted it back – then did a double-take, glancing up at it. An idea occurred to her. _Hmmm…_

**.**

* * *

**A/N: Lol! Poor Bai. He's got it rough with a granddad like that. And I'm sowwy I had to leave you on a WEE bit of a cliffy. But now… ***_**drumroll**_*****

**MY FIRST EVER SBS CORNER~! ***_**cymbals**_***  
****It came a little sooner than expected as well! All questions courtesy of my loverlingly zealous SOCCP duckling ****DCKiyoshi****.**

"_**S.B.S."  
**__**Question & Answer Corner 1**_

Q: Will we ever see the people from Kibo Hana Island again? And if we do, will it affect the story? (No spoilers! Just yes or no.)  
**A: Yes… and HECK YES. *secretive giggle***

Q: When's Vera's and Jackal's birthdays? I'll wish them happy birthday then.  
**A: Little known fact: Vera's birthday was actually mentioned in Ch13, although I botched the year and need to adjust that in editing. Vera was born on a Friday the 13****th**** in January! As for Jackal, I didn't really think of a b-day for him when I created his character… but if I go by his personality and choose a horoscope sign he most fits a Gemini, so I'll say he was born on June 20****th**** (the back end of the Gemini scope). Good question!**

Q: Are you a mime?  
**A: Yes. Yes, I am. ^_^**


	28. Finding Zoro is Getting Lost

**This chappie is dedicated to Matsuo Nozomi! She's a relatively new duckling compared to a lot of you, but dude, she is **_**awesome**_**~!**

**Hya ha~! Two week update this time, but my ducklings… I GOT THIS. Since it is another somewhat transfer chapter it is short, but it is a crucial turning point with our chijo and our stupid marimo. So my ZoVera fans, get ready to have your heartstrings pulled at.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 28:**

**Finding Zoro is Getting Lost**

Brook floated, stranded and alone in the middle of the clearing, completely lost for words.

All at once, he regained his voice. "Ahhhhh, that sure surprised me!" he wailed, feeling a bizarre urge to laugh like a hooligan. "I was so scared! I thought I was gonna die! _AGAIN_! Yohohoho~!"

The attack had come so quickly, his soul form had no way or time to react to the enemies that had flooded in from all sides – driving his nakama apart in an indiscernible roar of chaos, foaming, and snapping fangs, until all he could see was a sea of writhing animal parts. By the time he had collected himself enough to call out, the monsters had all disappeared. No trace of his nakama remained in the clearing.

But perhaps that was a good thing! No blood or chunks of hair… that meant they all got away, right? Lacking evidence was better than having some that boded ill.

Nonetheless, his laugh echoed emptily around the clearing.

Feeling lonely, the disembodied skeleton sighed sadly. "Still…" he wondered to himself, "they had to go somewhere! If only I had some way of tracking them!"

Suddenly, a familiar, youthful voice echoed from a distance in the forest, along with the sound of footsteps. "Sheesh, why'd you have to go and do that, Gramps?!" it muttered grouchily. "It'll take days to get that smell out of my poncho!"

Another familiar voice echoed behind the first. "_Coff_ _coff_!" it hacked. "Bleughh… if you weren't so obsessed with smelling like a rose all the time, your life would be much easier."

"What the _hell_ is a ross?!"

"_Rose_, my cute grandson, _rose_. It's a flower."

"Well even if I bathed for years I wouldn't smell like a doze, thanks!" Bai shot back as he reemerged into the sunlight, holding a dripping wet poncho over his boney shoulder in one hand and toting his spear in the other; its odd white blade gleamed in the sun. Now Brook could see that he wore the sheath to his bone swordbreaker under his poncho – on a well-worn leather strap fitted around his birdlike chest. The native boy shook his head in bewilderment, the metal caps on his dreadlocks chiming against one another: "Geez, I don't understand where you get these analogies –!"

Then, he noticed Brook floating in the middle of the clearing and stopped dead; they stared at each other for a long, awkward second.

Finally, Bai sighed. "What're you still doing here?" he asked neutrally, flapping his soaked poncho before he lay it on the grass and sat down beside it, waiting for the faded, threadbare garment to dry in the sun. He propped his chin in his hand, his green eyes earnestly curious on the floating soul. "It's not like the Beasties will come back for _you_ – they're not that smart – but you might wanna find your body before some Maneater finds it and starts using it as a chew toy."

"Not 'Why are you looking for your nakama?'" the disembodied skeleton asked. Then he shook his spectral head. "Ah, no, no. A better question would be…"

Brook abruptly raced over to Bai's side and stared intently at the boy's fingers. "What happened to your _hand_?!" the soul wailed.

Bai blinked. "Huh?"

He took his hand off his chin and looked at it. The skin between his fingers was webbed, and his fingers themselves had begun to turn a fishy shade of silvery green, speckled with black; against his russet skin and sickly thinness, it looked like he had some kind of leprosy.

But the maroon-haired boy seemed completely unphased. He raised an eyebrow at Brook, like he was a little stupid. "I told you I ate some kind of fish earlier, right?" he said, waggling his transforming fingers against the sky – watching how the sunlight filtered through his webbed fingers. "This is the start of it."

"Ah. How strange~!"

"We explained it to you, didn't we?" Bai muttered crossly, scratching a few scales from behind his ear.

"Well yes, but it's still rather bizarre to witness it firsthand."

Suddenly, behind them, a hunched silhouette rose from the underbrush. "Oi, grandson, who ya talkin' to?" it croaked.

Brook gasped. "Salad Dressing-san?!" he yelped. "Is that you?! You made me very nearly jump out of my skin! Ah, but I don't have any skin to jump out of. Yohoho~!"

"For the last freakin' time it's _Balsalabad_, not _balsamic_!" rasped the humanoid shadow, hocking a loogie into the thorns. "_Coff_! Ptooie!"

Then, Brook gasped, remembering all at once his present predicament. "Ah, that's right!" the floating soul exclaimed. He looked at Bai – who was poking sullenly at his damp poncho. "Young lad, you have survived so long in this hostile place. Perhaps you know how to track?"

Bai looked up, a bit stunned. "Yeah, I can track," he replied. "Why?"

Now it was Brook's turn to be surprised. "Do you really need to ask? Could you perhaps help me find my nakama, please?"

A confused look entered those wary green eyes.

"…_Bakama_?" he repeated after a moment. "What's that?"

"I am _not_ an idiot, and how dare you call them that!" Brook shouted, sending the boy somersaulting back. "Hmph! How rude!"

**T/N: Brook is mistaking Bai's mispronunciation of "nakama" (the word meaning friend, family, crewmate, etc, as I'm sure you OP fans already know) for "Baka mo?" a phrase that quite literally means "Idiots, too?"**

"It's _nakama_!" the skeleton corrected him. Getting exasperated, Soul King turned to the hunchback figure in the bushes. "Salad Dressing-san, please explain to him."

"…Uh, I don't know either."

Balsalabad hacked again. "What the heck is a nakama?"

Brook gaped at the pair as Bai picked himself off the ground, rubbing his head. "You surprise me!" he shrieked. "How do _neither_ of you know what nakama are?!"

They just stared at him blankly.

"Pirates?" Bai asked.

If Brook had had a hand, it would have met his face. _This is ridiculous! What kind of people are these two?_ "Nonetheless, I would much appreciate finding the people I was traveling with," he said exhaustedly. "They went into the forest. Isn't there some kind of place where they would be most likely to end up?"

Bai considered that for a minute. His brows furrowed; for the first time, the Strawhat musician noticed the boy had frown lines that were out of place in his youthful face. "Well, trails go cold very quickly in the forest because all the thorns make it difficult to track," he told Brook. "I normally don't even walk on the ground. Jumping from tree to tree is faster, not to mention it makes me harder to catch."

_Why doesn't he say 'us?'_ Brook wondered, again looking at Balsalabad in bewilderment. The old man didn't seem to notice. _They're family, aren't they? You would think –!_

"So if they're in there, they're on their own."

The skeleton turned back to Bai, spectral eye sockets wide at the boy's finality. "That can't just be it, though!" he panicked. "There has to be some other place we can check! Like a safe house? Some kind of pitfall?!"

**…**

"AROOOOOOO!"

Furred rubber paws scratched at the seastone bars in only stinkin' pitfall on the island. A pathetic whine echoed around the trees. "_Rurrrrurrurr_…"

**…**

"A village?!"

Bai and Balsalabad shot each other a glance. Brook saw it and seized on the clue: "There _is_ a village on this godforsaken island, isn't there?" the ghost exclaimed. "I knew it! After all, you two had to come from somewhere!"

The boy seemed to shrink infinitesimally inside his skin.

Balsalabad bristled. "Watch your mouth, _ghosty_!" he growled harshly. He turned back to his grandson's delicate countenance, his voice growing gentler. "It's okay, Bai, he didn't mean it like that."

"Bug off," the younger of the pair replied stiffly. "I know he didn't."

Brook blinked, taken aback. "W-What did I say?"

A moment of tense silence passed… then Bai straightened up. His chin was set, and his young eyes were steely and jaded as a man thrice his age. "Yeah, there's a village," he snapped. "But you don't want your nakaba people to be there."

"They aren't half-assed either!" Brook cried indignantly.

**T/N: Bai, of course, is again accidentally mispronouncing "nakama." Brook thought he was making a comment on their character, since the word "nakaba" means middle, partway, halfway, etc. **

Bai continued as if he hadn't said anything. "Because it's the cannibal village."

The skeleton choked. "Th-Then, you mean…?" he gulped. "If they _are_ there…?"

The boy scowled grimly. "They're either being eaten or about to be eaten," he told the Strawhat musician mercilessly. "There's no saving them."

Brook's jaw dropped. "WHAT?!" he shrieked, ghostly green tendrils curling and uncurling with agitation. His spectral head flipped around, shooting spastically back and forth across the clearing in a panic. "This is terrible! Absolutely dreadful! We must help them!"

Incredulous green eyes squinted at him. "Help them? _Why_?" he asked. "And what's with all this 'we' business? You haven't even made me an offer to help _you_ yet!"

Brook was appalled. "How selfish _are_ you people?!" he demanded, rounding on the boy. "Do you _always_ have to get something out of assisting others?! Can't you just do something out of the _goodness of your heart_?!"

The disembodied soul paused, gasping for air.

Bai stared at him – looking completely and utterly confused. "Goodness of my… what are you _talking_ about?" he asked, earnestly boggled by the pirate's words.

"Oh, forget you! I shall find it myself!" Brook huffed.

He floated over to where the forest began. "LUFFY-SAAAAN! EVERYONEEE!" he called. "WHERE ARE YOUUUU –?!"

Bai gazed at the peculiar little soul for a minute.

Then, finally, he sighed resignedly and spoke up. "You're going the wrong way," he said.

Balsalabad looked at his grandson warningly. "Hey! What're you thinking?!" rasped the old man. "If we go near that village, you know what they'll do to us! _Coff_ _coff_! Ugh… think about what you're doing!"

Gauging his poncho to be dry enough, Bai picked the garment up off the grass. He unsheathed his bone knife – checking the edge – then resheathed it and did the same with his spear as he slipped his poncho back on. "We already have several meals worth of meat back at the treehouse, remember?" he pointed out. "We have nothing else to do today. And they can't do anything to us if they can't see us. You aren't the only one that always needs saving, apparently. So… enough. Gramps."

The grizzled man crossed his boney arms. "Geez!" he wheezed. "Suit yourself! Helping people that never did anything for _you_? Next thing I know you'll be eating at Suicide Patch and turning into some purple apple!"

Bai stuck his tongue out, setting his spear on his shoulder. "I'm not _that_ crazy!" he protested childishly.

Brook watched them bicker for a second. "…You're such an odd pair!" he commented.

"_YOU'RE THE ODD ONE_!"

"Ah! Am I? Yohoho~!" the Strawhat musician laughed, following the boy into the hazy green light under the trees. "Nonetheless, thank you very much for showing me the way!"

"Don't thank us yet."

His grandpa's stick-thin arms wrapped around his neck, holding on tight as Bai grabbed two of the vicious spikes that sprouted from the tree trunks and began to rappel himself up. "I'll take you as far as the wall, but that's it!" the native boy told him. Reaching a height where the tree thorns were long enough to almost touch those of the next – nearly thirty meters in the air – he began to jump from tree to tree with the ease of practice, high above the entangling briar that covered the ground. Balsalabad dangled from his back, almost like an ironic (and slightly disturbing) inverse of a baby animal riding piggyback on its mother.

Brook floated behind them at a distance, eying the pair pensively. "Yes…"

_What is with that relationship?_ he wondered. It was strange; Balsalabad claimed for Bai to be his grandson, and seemed to have actually raised him to believe that one people couldn't help another without receiving something in return… yet somehow managed to rely on the boy more than Brook had seen any self-respecting person do. Any way he looked at it – even if it sounded heartless – the elder didn't seem to do anything for the relationship. With that in mind, what did the elder even do for his keep? Or what _had_ he done, for a boy like Bai to let him cling to his back like a leech? And if there was a village and it was so obviously safer than the wilds, why didn't they live there with others of their kind?

There was a story there. And Brook itched to know what it was… but it didn't seem his place to ask. So he kept quiet and focused on keeping up as they darted over the treetops; getting closer and closer to the village of the natives.

Internally, the skeleton sighed. _I would feel so much better if I could sense Vera-san!_

He looked helplessly around at the soupy, blood-colored haze that obscured both his mind and his vision, wafting between the trees like the fog in a bad dream. _But this mysterious red mist inhibits my senses. And I still have no earthly idea what it _is…_!_

**...**

Half a mile away, in precisely the opposite direction, a familiar green-haired man kicked his way through the thorny briar on the forest floor – a ferocious scowl on his face as he squinted through the dim green light that filtered through the trees.

"Damn!" Zoro swore. "Where the hell did they move the campsite?!"

The swordsman grumbled to himself, kicked a vine off his boot, and forged ahead. "This is all the shitty cook and the chijo's fault!" he muttered. "Dammit…!"

Casting his one eye around for any sign of the others, the grouchy marimo rubbed his knuckles and winced. Although it had been dull this morning, the pain in his digits was particularly sharp now – like someone had wrapped all twenty of his fingers and toes with the thorny tendrils that crunched under his feet – which made his every move of them send stinging signals of complaint to his brain; he was already in a bad mood because of it. But there was something else preoccupying his mind, too.

"_**Sometimes I even wonder if that grasshead even has a **_**speck**_** of humanity left in him."**_

Zoro grit his teeth in annoyance. That comment had gotten under his skin more than he would have liked to admit.

He had been thinking about it ever since this morning. There were plenty of other things she could have said. Why, of all things, had she chosen to question his humanity? He honestly couldn't think of a single reason.

Could she… see something about him that he _didn't_?

It bothered him. It bothered him a lot.

Zoro's brow furrowed, he took a step forward, and suddenly –!

* * *

"AHHHahAHahAHHHHHH~!"

_WHAM_!

Out of nowhere, Vera came swinging in on a vine – screaming a call of bravery – and slammed into the back of his knees feet first. Zoro shouted something unprintable and toppled, knocked sprawling into the briar as the semikami yelped in surprise at the unexpected discovery that her target was alive. "Holy _crap_! What was _that_?!" she yelled, trying to twist her head around as she swung past him, expending the rest of her momentum with the vine spiraling into increasingly smaller circles.

"SONO KIZU, KONO YAROU!" a familiar voice cursed at her.

"Ehhhh?! Zoro?!" she realized with a start. "Geez, marimo, you camouflage _way_ too well in this forest! I thought you were some kind of misshapen take no ko! I was gonna uproot you and take you back for food supply…"

**T/N: "Take no ko" = Bamboo sprout (a common Eastern cooking ingredient, can be used in recipes like miso soup or bamboo rice).**

Finally, Vera dangled to a stop beside him. "How awkward is that?" she laughed uneasily. "Ha ha ha…?"

* * *

_Of course. It _had_ to be her. Great. Just frickin' great._

Zoro was curled up in a ball on the ground, gripping his abused hamstrings; he whipped his head up to glare at her. "DAMN CHIJO! YOU TRYIN' TO KILL ME?!" he yelled, swearing internally.

"Was accident!" she whined.

"Accident, my _ass_!" the swordsman barked. "What're you doing here? Why are you on a _vine_?! Get off of that damn thing before you fall off, idiot!"

* * *

Vera pouted, but acquiesced. "Hai…"

**.oOo.**

A few minutes later, the semikami and the swordsman were making their way through the forest together; Zoro walked ahead of her. Since she was just as lost as he was, Vera saw no point in leading the way. Not to mention it was much easier to walk unhindered after the green-haired monster had plowed through the briar already… but he didn't so much as look at her. He didn't acknowledge her presence. It was like she wasn't even there.

It was kind of discouraging.

"Why so quiet?" Vera asked, smiling halfheartedly at his back. "You were pretty vocal a second ago."

He didn't so much as flinch.

She hesitated. "…I'm sorry about the take no ko thing. You blend in pretty well with all this green, you gotta admit!"

He didn't react.

The girl offered a chuckle. "It's all that training! It leaves you tense," she said, trying for good humor. "You need to find another hobby… you should write a haiku or something, ha!"

* * *

_Don't even look at her,_ Zoro told himself firmly. _If this girl makes me lose control of my tongue… then I won't speak at all. It's better than saying something I'll regret._

* * *

Nothing.

Vera scowled. This was getting irritating.

"Did someone stitch your mouth shut, baka marimo kenshi?" she muttered.

Still no response. The semikami clicked her tongue against her teeth. _Huh. I thought 'baka marimo kenshi' would have gotten at least a twitch._

Vera sighed. _As I thought… this is still about the kiss._

But she had to make sure, just to verify – who ever knew with Zoro, he was tough to read. Taking a few quick steps forward, she snagged his robe. "Anata oko~tsu teru? Are you still mad?" she demanded. "Huh?"

The green fabric slipped through her fingers, and he kept walking; there was no possible way he could have missed someone touching his clothes.

He had to be ignoring her.

Vera crossed her arms over her chest and followed. In any case, she wouldn't be discouraged. She had come here to make a point. Might as well get to it.

"…Usopp told me."

The swordsman might have paused for the briefest moment at that, but she might have just imagined it. "But I gotta tell you, I'm so psyched that it was with Kuina!" Vera giggled, pressing her hands to her cheeks. "It's kind of a relief. And kind of a private fanspasm moment, since I once wrote a fanfiction on you two. I _knew_ it was canon! AH! So cute~!"

* * *

On the outside, Zoro kept his normal stoic expression – but on the inside, he was sweating bullets. _Usopp, you bastard! You _told_ her what I said?! _he thought towards their sniper, wherever he might be._ Next time I see that long nose I'm gonna wring his neck! And what is she going about with Kuina? It's always been weird enough that she knows about her in the first place… What now?! _

* * *

Vera squirmed happily one more time – then dragged herself back to the situation at hand.

She scratched her head. "Look, I get that I'm not much of a followup," she told him. "I don't measure up to a woman like Kuina. I'm not strong. I'm not athletic. I don't have conviction, et cetera. If I were you, I'd feel a little japed, too."

The semikami sobered, gazing intently at Zoro. "But don't take it out on me. I have feelings, too, y'know."

Vera frowned bitterly to herself. _Not everybody's a stone like you…_

* * *

"Hm," Zoro grunted. Anything to get her to shut up! This topic was so _awkward_…!

* * *

Vera was startled to a stop for a second – staring at his back as she waited for him to say something else – then started walking again when he didn't.

"Well…" she muttered sarcastically, aiming a hesitant grin at his back. "Unlike you, my first kiss was nothing so special. Not to my first _love_, you lucky dog, you!"

Zoro gave no sign of having heard her, but she pushed on, if for no other purpose than to fill the silence. "I was thirteen – freshman year, y'know, everyone's stupid freshman year –" she began, "and me even more than most, cuz I skipped eighth grade and came into high school with all that crazy High School Musical romanticism crap with the nerds and the jocks and the hottest guy in the school falling in love with the new girl."

The brunette raised her eyebrows at him. "So, you can guess what _I_ said when _Tyler Corne_ dropped in and asked me out out of absolutely nowhere, hm?" she said. "He took me on a few crappy dates to McDonald's or whatever. We never hung out at school, but he was flirty and gorgeous, and he was a senior!"

She shrugged. "Guess I was too infatuated to think anything of it. I was absolutely ecstatic when I got my first kiss in the front seat of my 'hot high school boyfriend's' car."

Vera scowled. "And _then_ he tried to feel me up. I told his butt off and I _walked_ home."

She sighed, raking a rogue curl out of her face. "The next day, I came to school ready to hear his apology. Strutting, would you believe it?! Like he was gonna get down on his knees and start begging or something… Anyway. That was when I found out he'd had a girlfriend even before he'd asked me out. I was the, uh –"

Vera chuckled bitterly, half-shrugging again. "Heh. 'Tail' on the side. I told his girlfriend, and luckily she was the insecure, bottle-blonde, sold-my-brain-for-a-Prada-bag type that broke up with him immediately just on my word. But that didn't stop him from telling his friends stories about 'that slutty little freshman' he 'screwed over' in the back seat of his car. He graduated soon after. But it wasn't until junior frickin' year people stopped calling me… things. H-Hey, I'm over it now!" she stammered, raising her hands defensively. "The scumbag got his comeuppance! It just stings a little bit in hindsight."

She laughed awkwardly. "Anyway. Moving on… that's why I kinda panicked when I thought I, um, stole your first kiss."

Zoro did not react.

"I know you're no freshman schoolgirl! Far from it!" the semikami was quick to assure him. "I just, uh, didn't know how you'd… yeah."

Finally, Inner Vange had the decency to intervene. _Oh, shut _up_!_ she moaned. Her big sister pushed her glasses higher, their lenses flashing irritatedly. _You talk when you're nervous, and you sound like an idiot when you do! _

_Well, what else am I supposed to do?! _Vera protested, gesturing madly at Zoro's unresponsive back. _He won't talk! He's a freakin' wall!_

_It's embarrassing! Just be quiet._

Indignant, the semikami blew a quiet raspberry as Vange disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Uh, you know," Vera trailed off awkwardly, still finishing her statement before falling silent.

But then, something unexpected happened.

Zoro stopped in his tracks. She blinked in surprise and did the same, coming to a halt just behind the stoic marimo; she leaned to the side, trying to get a peek at his expression.

"Zo–?"

* * *

The frustration, the confusion; it all suddenly became too much for him to stay silent for a single moment longer. "You know what?!" Zoro snapped at the ground. "_No_! I don't understand a single damn _thing_ you are _saying_! So why don't you just stay quiet so we can find our way back to the others?!"

* * *

Vera frowned at him. "Geez, now I exist…?" she murmured defensively. "Fine. Don't be like that, I was just trying to help."

The Strawhat swordsman turned his head for the first time – just enough to glare at her out of the corner of his cold, glittering emerald black eye. "Kesa suki?" Zoro growled.

_Like this morning?_

_**PING! Shlick. Whump. **_

_**Blood spattered the grass. The bullet buried itself in the wall behind it.**_

_**Zoro's boot slammed onto the deck. His hand flew to his bleeding cheek, which had been sliced open by her skewed bullet. "NANDA YO, CHIJO?!" **_

It was like someone had flipped a switch.

Anger overtook Vera instantly. "You're freakin' _fine_, aren't you?!" she yelled, feeling like she, too, had a tic pulsing in her forehead for once. "So don't you _dare_ pull that crap on me! I didn't mean to shoot you! I said I was sorry! And you know I don't apologize unless I'm actually _sorry_ for it, baka kenshi! I've told you that, haven't I?!"

* * *

Zoro grit his teeth, growling. _**"I only apologize for things if I'm actually **_**sorry**_**," she had hissed at him in the rosy confines of the Gale Dancer's tent. **_

* * *

The semikami girl jerked her head to the side. "You know, I wasn't even gonna apologize in the first place," she informed a tree in a low, threatening voice, eyes narrowed in fury. "If Usopp hadn't argued your case –!"

* * *

Zoro turned all the way around to face her, his eye narrowed. "Yeah?!" he snarled. "Do you only stick around the long nose because he's laid back enough to let you make moves on _him_, too?!"

He didn't mean it. It just came out.

* * *

Nonetheless, Vera got the gist of it.

The girl whirled on the larger man, her blood running cold with rage. "You…_BASTARD_!" she shrieked. "What the _hell_ are you implying?!" The rare swear words from her would have been more impressive if her voice hadn't abruptly shot up to an almost mouselike pitch. "How _dare_ you?! Usopp's my best friend because he's nice and he's thoughtful and he listens to me and he doesn't lie to me!"

* * *

Something snapped in Zoro's brain.

"**USOPP'S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN LIE**!" he roared.

The semikami flinched, stunned in silence by his ferocity. Zoro panted for breath, his heart drumming in anger – then, all at once, he felt it almost stop as he realized what he had just admitted.

He _had_ lied to Usopp about his first kiss.

Vera stared at him with wide, dark eyes, searching his gaze in disbelief. "You _what_…?" she whispered.

The marimo swallowed. _Aw, shit._ "I… ah…" he began, the words snagging in his throat.

* * *

Vera lowered her eyes, avoiding his gaze; the rage drained from her body, leaving her feeling empty and tried. "Gomen'nasai, then," she murmured. "Watashi wa iku yo." _I'll go._

Zoro reached hesitantly towards her, as if to stop her. "Ah…"

The semikami girl turned around and walked away; behind her, she felt the Strawhat swordsman hesitate, then lower his hand and follow her at a distance – his footsteps loud in the overwhelming silence. Vera yanked her feet forward through the briar, ripping thorned vines viciously from their roots and trying to swallow the lump in her throat… trying so hard to fight the urge to cry. Right now, she wished more than anything that she could just curl up on the ground and shut everything out. She felt so confused. Anxious. Sad. Weak. What was with these emotions?! Why did she even care?!

Why did she even _kiss_ him in the first place, anyway?

Vera gripped her wrist, digging her nails into her skin – embracing the pain as something to anchor herself from such thoughts. She shook her head, her long braid slapping against her back. She didn't even like Zoro! Maybe she had in the beginning. But after a while she had just gotten used to him always being there. And then…

_**Through the sleepy haze of the tranquilizer dart, Vera lay listlessly on the ground, gazing blankly at that enormous, muscled back – and the five poisoned arrows that sprouted from it like a porcupine's quills. But the warrior who bore their burden paid no heed to pain. His swords flashed. His enemies screamed and ran. Blood spurted, none of it his own.**_

_That_ had happened.

Vera rubbed her shoulders, listening to the crunching footsteps behind her. The rift between them was tangible – the space between them unbreachable. Although she supposed she had known it in her subconscious, becoming aware of such an incredible gap between their levels of strength had been a shock for her. Roronoa Zoro was the one always defending her. The one who she always saw exhibiting his power the most. The indestructible man. That one that would never fall like she had…!

All at once, it hit her.

The semikami girl's breath caught in her chest… then, she felt her heart grow heavy, sink ever lower into the dark cavern of her chest. _So that's it. It's always easy to forget Sanji-sensei and Luffy are monsters, _she realized dully. _ But with Zoro… he never stops. I guess part of me wants his power to rub off on me. That's why I kissed him._

In hindsight, it was so obvious.

Vera smiled bitterly. _ I am so __**pathetic**__!_

She laughed mirthlessly and went to skirt around a tree's spiked girth.

That was when suddenly – in the instant Zoro lost sight of her – the swordsman felt a violent disturbance in his haki.

* * *

Zoro's eye widened. "_What –_?!"

He looked up just in time to see two dark objects lunge from the treetops with the blinding speed of wild predators.

He raced after her. "OI, CHIJO! _WATCH OUT_!"

* * *

"_ABUNAI_!"

Vera nearly had a heart attack. "W-_Wha_…?!" she stuttered, whirling around. Then –!

_**CRUNCH.**_

The semikami girl screamed in pain and surprise as something with the force of a wrecking ball fell on her shoulders, smashing her facefirst into the briar; thorns etched countless scratches into her temple and cheek. A particularly long point pierced her forehead, and a ragged line of white-hot pain blazed to life. Through the pain and crushing pressure and senses – unfortunately – honed by countless other captures, Vera became aware there were two of her assaulters. One smaller and lighter, faster, with fangs sharper than broken glass, and another with a lithe, rock-hard physique and hands that could crush her head like a grape.

Her wrists were yanked painfully together and shackled. _Snap_!

Vera gasped. "Ah –!"

Then, a clawed arm fastened around her body like a steel girder and yanked her up high into the trees – the whiplash was so intense she blacked out for a second. When she came to again, she was slung over a mercilessly hard shoulder facing the ground far, far below. Her eyes widened at the height. The blood from the gash on her forehead pooled, and dripped over a hundred feet to the forest floor.

She squirmed frantically. "_ZORO_!"

* * *

Zoro skidded to a stop, glaring up at the creatures that had captured the Strawhat's semikami. "_You_…!" he snarled.

**A/N: "Gomu Gomu VS Goe Goe" One Piece OST  
****PRESS PLAY**

Hyo and Tora's feral, catlike eyes glowed down at the swordsman. Their tails whipped eagerly in the in the dappeled forest light, their sharp fangs glittering a sickly green, and their strong, wild bodies were enveloped in shadow… but it was impossible to mistake those silhouettes for anything else, for their auras radiated sentient intelligence and an animalistic bloodlust.

"You're Jackal's pets!" Zoro yelled. "What do you want with the chijo?! Answer me, I know you can!"

Tora hissed fiercely at him. Hyo saluted mockingly.

And they jumped away, darting over the treetops with the agility, grace, and speed that was unique to the island's top two Maneaters. Confidence bloomed in their chests. Once they got up to this pace, no human could ever match them.

Unfortunately… Zoro was no regular human.

The swordsman gripped a spike on the tree. "_I_ –!"

He tightened his muscles. "_AM_ –!"

With a yank fearsome enough to uproot the massive tree, Zoro launched himself over a hundred feet into the air, drawing Sandai Kitetsu and Shuusui as he flew. "_TALKING TO YOU, BASTARDS_!" the swordsman roared.

He bashed one wildcat in the ribs with Kitetsu's hilt and punched the other in the face. They went flying into the forest floor, landing with deafening impact and an explosion of dirt and thorns.

_CRUNCH! WHAM!_

BOOM.

* * *

Vera felt her heart sink even further as she was snagged neatly around the waist and pressed against Zoro's familiar, muscled body, pulsing with blood and adrenaline. Gravity pulled them back down to earth in a measured fall.

They touched down with barely a bump. He let her down.

She avoided his gaze to wipe the blood out of her eyes, having mixed feelings about being rescued again. "Arigatou…" she murmured, licking her fingers clean. "Tasukata…"

* * *

"It's my job," Zoro replied neutrally, watching her do it.

Suddenly, through the hazy disturbance in this island's air, he felt another quiver in his haki.

His one eye flicked towards it. "They're coming back."

The swordsman crouched before her, directing his attention to the handcuffs. He set down his swords, gripped the chain – and with a quick jerk – broke it.

_Snap_!

Vera's eyes widened.

Internally, Zoro winced as he flexed his fingers; the pain in his digits was flaring up again. But he brushed it aside and rose, offering a hand to the semikami. "C'mon," he growled. "I can't protect you like this. Get up."

* * *

Vera looked at her broken shackles in awe… then at his hand… then up at him.

Finally, she sobered.

She took it. "Watashi wa mada anata ni ikatteiru," she murmured crossly. _I'm still mad at you._

* * *

Zoro pulled her up. "I can deal with that," he replied, her broken chains jangling as he pushed her behind him. He pulled his black bandana loose from his bicep. "But right now…"

The swordsman tied it tight around his head. "_Don't leave my side_."

Vera's eyes gleamed determinedly. Switching to battle mode, she pulled her pistol from its holster and checked its ammo. She might not be able to fight like the others… but her blood had been spilled this time. She sure as heck wasn't about to lie down like a damsel in distress! "Fine."

Zoro drew his last katana and tucked it between his teeth. He bent down to pick up Shuusui and Kitetsu, not taking his gaze off of Hyo and Tora as the snarling hybrids emerged from the trees and circled him – baring their fangs, their slit-pupiled eyes wide and glittering with bloodlust. They had underestimated him once, and from the look in their eyes they weren't going to do it again. But they wouldn't reach their target. He wouldn't let them.

The swordsman braced himself. _Here they come!_

The Maneaters let out a throat-tipping snarl… and lunged as one.

** – Soundtrack End –**

**…**

Meanwhile, several leagues away, a small hunting party of natives poked at a mysterious man – who was dangling from a low tree spike like a piece of laundry hung out to dry.

"Helloooo…?"

The butt of a spear poked him. "You think he's alive?" one cannibal muttered to another. "Weird hair color, all yellow like that…"

"He's sure got a lot of _meat_ on him~!" the other drooled.

A third pulled at the muscular stranger's clothes, trying to get him off the branch. "None of us got anything to eat on that pirate ship earlier! Let's take him back to the village!" she exclaimed. "Maybe we can have a hot pot tonight~!"

Sanji moaned, too dizzy to respond as he was hogtied to a big stick and enthusiastically hauled away. _What the hell…?_

** .**

* * *

**A/N: Next chappie is THE YOU-ARE-WHAT-YOU-EAT'S FIRST OFFICIAL EPIC FIGHT SCENE! The Pirate Hunter and The Chijo Versus The Killer Kitties! Who shall win?! Who shall die?! AND WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON WITH SANJI AND LUFFY?! Find out next time, here, in Chapter 29 of Slightly Overdone Chocolate Chip Pancakes~!**

…**Wow, dramatic radio announcer much? Review! X3**


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